Chapter Text
We promised each other that we'll fly back to Paris together, and see what had changed in this so-called "City of Love".
Where are you right now? I wish you're here with me.
Holding me. Saying you love me.
Seeing the Eiffel tower at night like how we used to. You're missing out on the view, you know that?
How could you leave me all alone so soon? It's too early! You're so unfair!
I hate you for keeping something like that to me.
But I miss you… I love you still.
I'm… I'm all alone.
The streets of Paris are giving me flashbacks of our stay here. I remember everything like it was yesterday.
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I was about to fly to Paris, France to attend an art exhibit, when I realized I had an extra ticket with me. I called you and asked if you wanted to come along with me on my trip there.
"Paris? That sounds like fun! Sure, I'll come along." You said, and it was music to my ears.
You picked me up at my house and went to the airport together. You never really let go of my hand for the entire trip, even on the plane to Paris. Coming from you, it's new to me, but I liked it.
I couldn't help but lay my head on your shoulder every time you'd hold my hand, and our fingers would lock.
I love how you let me do the things I do around you. I felt safe. You made me feel safe. I never wanted you to leave my side, nor to let go of me. Sadly, you had to.
When we arrived in Paris, I honestly forgot about the art exhibit already and just wanted to spend the day with you.
"Aren't we going to go attend the art exhibit?" You asked me. I held your hand and smiled.
"It's just an art exhibit. I'd rather spend the day with you. Besides, I'm pretty sure you came with me to visit Paris and not the art exhibit." I said as I ripped my ticket in front of you.
You looked at me with shock, but I smiled and reassured you that it's okay. You kept your ticket inside your phone case. I wish I had done that instead of tearing it. Would've made a great souvenir.
"You know I'm not really into art. I feel like the moment I step into the exhibit, I'm gonna walk out any time."
"That's why I decided to cancel our trip there, boddo~ I know you pretty well."
We strolled around the streets of Paris, hand in hand. Sightseeing, shopping, eating some of France's best dishes, and we even stopped to get a portrait of ourselves.
The sun had set and the night arrived. We were sitting by the grass, taking in the view of the Eiffel tower.
"Can you believe the Eiffel tower is this beautiful at night? Too bad it's illegal to take pictures of the Eiffel tower at night." I said.
"Not as beautiful as you." Your words made me blush and look away as I chuckled.
"Oh, you. Stop." But you turn my head back towards you as you hold onto my chin.
Our eyes met, and your smile was soft and sincere. Loving even. It's almost as if you're in love with me.
What if you are? Because... I'm in love with you too.
Our conversations kept going until they got deep. Our deep conversations then turned personal. We were too serious at the time when you suddenly changed the mood.
You hushed me and leaned towards me.
"I have a confession." You said. My eyes were shot open. I nodded and you whispered…
"Je t'aime…"
The way you said those words made me soft like jelly. You confessed your feelings and why you love me, but I didn't listen. I knew from the bottom of my heart what you wanted to tell me.
Ditto, my love.
I hushed you and told you that I feel the same for you.
My eyelids were starting to drop from the jet lag. And the cold wind did not help at all.
You held my face with your warm hands and slowly leaned in.
My eyes shot open when I felt your soft luscious lips kiss mine. I closed my eyes as I pulled you closer.
Our loving and passionate kiss kept us warm from this cold wind the city of love blows at night.
City of love… that's where we are. Smooth.
Everything was overwhelming to me to the point that I started to cry. You felt it and wiped my tears with your thumb. But it made you pull away.
"Don't cry. I'm here."
"I'm sorry. I'm so overwhelmed right now. It's just that, I've loved you since the day we started spending time together. You were there for me when no one else was. And now you're here, loving me. How could love someone like me when you deserve someone better?"
"Because you're more than enough. You can't put love into words. If I ask you the same, will you be able to put it into words yourself?"
I shook my head in response. You smiled and nodded.
You turned your view towards the Eiffel tower.
"The City of Love is something, huh?"
"Yeah." I answered.
"Hey, after this trip, let's come back a year later and see if things have changed here. What do you say?"
I laid my head on your shoulder and hugged you tight.
"I don't think it'll change. But I'd love to."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
That night was perfect, or so I thought…
You started coughing a lot and your body became weak. I'm guessing it was just from the fatigue and jet lag. But I'm relieved that you got better before our flight back to Korea.
When we arrived back home, that's when I found out your secret that shattered my heart until your very last breath.
You have cancer. And you died months later.
I hate you for hiding that from me. But I understand why you did that.
I'm glad you did, but it cost you your life.
Goodbye, boddo.
I'll see you again soon, right?
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Hey Goeun. It's been a year. How are you? I hope you're doing fine up there.
I've fulfilled your wish, boddo. We're back in Paris. I hope you're happy with that.
Nothing has changed in the City of love. I think that's good.
If only you're here holding my hand right now, instead I'm here holding your ashes in a jar.
Tears start to flow down my face whenever I pass by the places we've been to during our stay here. I'm even gonna stay at the hotel we slept.
I see the view of the Eiffel tower from the balcony. I closed my eyes as the cold wind blew in my face. I kissed my own hand to remind myself of what your kisses felt like.
It was nice. And I wish I could kiss you once more.
Wait for me, Goeun. I'll see you again soon.
"Je t'aime, boddo."