Chapter Text
Asuka walked out of the cafe quickly, trying to ignore the pleading look in Haru's eyes. The other boy had been right, and didn't need to feel guilty about what he said. Asuka needed to tell Kosei about him being transgender. He didn't need to get attached to Kosei if he was going to be rejected, not again.
He sighed, pulling out his phone slowly. He had dreaded this moment since he decided to pursue Kosei. In his experience, this is when things fall apart. Before he could back out he typed out what was hopefully a non-threatening text to Kosei. He didn't want Kosei worried it had to do with the assault.
Hey, I know I asked if you wanted to see a movie tonight...but would you be able to meet up to talk before then? There's something I need to tell you. This has nothing to do with what you told me last night, I promise.
Sent: 11:51am
Asuka went to put his phone away before pausing and tying another quick text out, this time to Makoto.
I just came out to Haru. And the ass basically responded "We done knew" and informed me it was your fault.
Sent: 11:52am
He smirked to himself, typing a second message to follow up.
Also! How the fuck are you 2 so perfect?! Are you sure I can't marry you both? I promise I'll cook and clean.
Sent: 11:52pm
He didn't expect a response from Makoto right away. The other boy was supposed to be having lunch with Haru's dad and he knew that was probably going to be awkward, especially since Haru said his dad used to be homophobic.
He knew he should lay off the flirty comments to Haru and Makoto, but neither of them had complained about them. As far as he could tell Makoto found his side comments funny and Haru always looks begrudgingly amused. It kept the other boy from being too serious all the time. He was sure if Haru was really bothered by his personality, the boy wouldn't talk to him anymore. Or maybe that was his wishful thinking.
He sighed, tossing his latte into the nearest trash can. It'd gone cold during his talk with Haru, and he had no interest in drinking it. He paused as his phone went off, and pulled it out looking at it.
Kosei
Hey, I clock out at 1:30, so we can meet for an early lunch if you want? Is everything okay?
Received: 12:00pm
Everything is fine! Don't worry your handsome head about it. Maybe I couldn't wait to see you?
Sent: 12:00pm
Kosei
Am I supposed to pretend you didn't say you needed to tell me something?
Sent: 12:01pm
Asuka paused, closing his eyes. He was in no hurry to lose this guy. Maybe it wasn't fair to the other boy that he assumed Kosei would call things off, but he'd rather be prepared.
It's something personal to me. Can we meet at the Royal Garden Cafe at 2? My treat?
Sent: 12:02pm
Kosei
Romantic outdoor lunch? I'm less concerned by the second. I look forward to it. If you're paying for lunch, I'm taking care of the movie. And I won't take no for an answer.
Received: 12:03pm
Such a gentleman! See you about 2?
Sent: 12:03pm
Kosei
Can't wait
Received: 12:04pm
Asuka took a deep breath putting his phone away. He was not ready to lose this boy. He should not have suggested such a romantic lunch spot. He was only making it worse for himself. He should have just asked to meet at a local place, one with less foot traffic, just in case there was a scene. He'd had enough of that in his time.
Part of him was hopeful that he was wrong. That the little smiles Kosei gave him when they saw each other wouldn't disappear. That the way he looked at him wouldn't change. He'd been into Kosei since he saw him at the club that night. He'd reminded Asuka of Haru, hiding out at the bar, looking out of place. Maybe Asuka was a little weak for his best friend. And wasn't that just sad? He'd barely known Haru for two months and considered him his best friend. But he'd taken one look at Kosei and knew he was into him, so he'd convinced the other to dance. He'd thought it was just gonna be dancing, a good way to spend the night. And he was content to leave it at that, until he'd seen him the next day. Saw the way that despite Asuka humiliating himself Kosei didn't lose interest. He liked the way Kosei's bright green eyes lit up when he saw Asuka approaching.
Asuka sighed, closing his eyes again. Yeah, it was a good idea to tell Kosei now. He was already getting too attached. This was why he didn't date. It never ended well. He slowly walked to the train station, catching the train home. He had about an hour to get ready and plan what he was going to tell Kosei. It had been easy to come out to Haru. The other boy had shared so much with him over the last few months. He'd seen Haru in the middle of panic attacks, and as he recovered from a terrible assault. Opening up to him had seemed natural, despite being terrifying. He needed to be prepared to respond to any reaction.
He sighed, leaning his head back against the glass window. Haru was right about him needing to tell Kosei, but that didn't mean he'd be ready for it. He got off the train at his stop, slowly walking up to the home he shared with his parents. He let himself in, kicking his shoes off at the door, giving their fat calico cat a stretch on the head when she came to greet him at the door.
"Hey there Princess. I missed you too." He said softly.
"Asuka, you're home early," he heard, and smiled slowly turning to the entrance.
His mom was leaning against the door frame watching him with a small smile on her face.
"Hey mom. It's only for a bit. I've got a lunch date, and then possibly a movie later."
"Another date? That's three or four in a week. You must really like this guy."
"Yeah, Kosei is...he's pretty great," Asuka said, softly.
"Honey, is something wrong?"
"I...I'm going to tell him, about me."
"Asuka, are you sure? After what happened last time?"
"I need to. Before I...before I get to close. I really like him, and I need to know where he stands."
"I understand darling. Call me, okay. If something happens?"
"I will mom," he said, giving her shoulder a squeeze, heading for the staircase.
"Your dad called. His flight is scheduled to be in tomorrow night. He wants us all to go out for dinner."
"Sounds like a plan. It's been awhile. I'll text him later. Promise."
She laughed softly as he hurried up the stairs to get dressed. He rushed this morning. Throwing on comfortable clothes to meet up with Haru. He couldn't meet up with Kosei looking like he just rolled out of bed.
He walked into his room, opening his closet doors, digging through the hangers. Going to the cafe and movies didn't call for anything too flashy, but he still wanted to look his best. He picked out his clothes slowly, settling on a nice pair of jeans and a nice shirt to go with it. He'd pair it with the brown jacket he wore that Kosei seemed to like on him. He changed quickly before turning to the mirror and sighed.
If he tried, he'd see what he was sure most people saw. Just a pretty boy, with dark brown eyes and short curly hair. However to him his face was too round, the angles were too soft, features decidedly too feminine despite years of testerone. He was happier with his appearance now than he had been before his father had managed to get him testerone. He'd joked with Haru about his parents' acceptance of him, but they'd always been in his corner, and he knew he was luckier than most. He sighed, shaking himself out of his thoughts, forcing himself to focus on getting ready. He finished his hair, stepping away from the mirror, appreciating the way the curls hung in front of his face. He turned, heading for the door, shutting his bedroom light off and hurrying back down the stairs.
His mom looked up from her spot on the floor where she was playing with Princess. He smiled slowly as the cat pounced at the string in his mom's hand.
"You look like you've got a wild evening ahead of you mom."
"Oh yes, me, my pajamas, a glass of wine, and a crazy cat," she laughed.
"Well, you look amazing, even if you are wearing sweats and a baggy t-shirt," he told her, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
"You look amazing too, sweet heart. This young man better see what a catch you are."
"We can only hope," he told her with a nervous smile, wiping his hands in his jeans. "If not, maybe I can finally convince Haru and Makoto to be their kept man, huh?"
She laughed softly, standing up to hug him.
"When are you going to introduce these friends of yours you don't shut up about?"
"Soon, I promise. You'll love them. I promise. I have to go, before I'm late."
"Okay. Good luck, Asuka."
Asuka nodded quickly, giving her another hug, before hurrying out the door. He jogged down to the train station, checking the time on his phone, noticing he had a message from Makoto. He must have gotten it while he was changing.
Makoto
I'm glad you finally felt comfortable enough to tell him, and by proxy, me. You're our friend, and we're happy to support you in this. I know Japan is light-years behind the rest of the world in trans rights. If there is anything I can do to help, let me know.
Received: 1:26pm
Asuka smiled slowly, blinking back tears as he stepped on the train. He knew Makoto was a good guy, but he didn't expect such whole hearted support from someone who grew up in such a small town. He wiped his eyes quickly, typing out a response to Makoto quickly.
Awe! There's no way someone like you is real! Be honest, you're an A.I. aren't you?
Sent: 1:40pm
He put his phone in his pocket quickly, ignoring the tone that alerted him Makoto responded as the train took off. He couldn't let himself get emotional before meeting up with Kosei. There was plenty of time to get emotional afterwards.
He cleared his mind, watching as the stops flew by out the window, making his way to the doors of the train as it approached the stop he needed. He stepped through the doors slowly, making his way to the cafe, feeling his heartbeat in his throat. He'd always wanted to go on a date at the Royal Garden Cafe. It was considered one of the top date spots in Japan for a reason. He was sure it was prettier in the Spring, but it was beautiful in October. He'd chosen it for two reasons, it was a public spot with a large crowd, and he loved the view.
He sighed as he saw Kosei standing on the sidewalk in front of the cafe. He felt his heart clench as he took in sight of the other boy. He could tell Kosei rushed a change of clothes after work. He felt bad, not giving Kosei a chance to catch his breath, but he was too nervous to wait any later.
"Kosei," he called out as he got closer.
Kosei looked up when he heard Asuka, and smiled slowly.
"Hey there," he said. "Did you get all dressed up to meet me?"
"Well, I wanted to make a good impression," he said, hating the way he could hear his voice waver.
Kosei caught onto it as well, as his smile slowly disappeared.
"Asuka, did something happen?" He asked, frowning slowly.
"No...no. Can...can we get a table? Please?"
"Sure. Yeah, come on," Kosei said, looking at him in concern, before leading him to a table in the outdoor seating area.
They both sat down and Asuka tried to get his composure back. Kosei looked up at him, brow wrinkling in concern.
"Asuka?" He asked, leaning forward, reaching his hand out slowly.
Asuka put his hand on Kosei's, giving it a squeeze. He should have known this would happen. Of course he would panic when the time came.
"Does this have to do with what you wanted to tell me?"
"Yeah...yeah, just...give me a moment."
"Asuka. I'm getting worried. You look like you're having a panic attack. You need to breathe."
"I'm trans," he blurted out, closing his eyes as soon as he heard the words leave his mouth. This was not how it was supposed to go. He had a whole speech planned. He felt tears gather in his eyes, and wasn't that just wonderful? He was going to turn into a blubbering mess, and embarrass Kosei on top of everything.
"Asuka? Hey, are you still with me?"
Asuka slowly blinked his eyes open and looked over at Kosei. The other boy was looking at him, beautiful green eyes shadowed in concern.
"Yeah, I'm still here," he said softly. "The ground didn't swallow me up, despite my deepest wishes."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah...did you hear me?" Asuka asked confused. Surely Kosei had heard what he said.
"Yeah, we'll get to that later. You looked like you were about to faint. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine...you're not upset?"
Kosei sighed, giving Asuka’s hand a squeeze.
"You're trans?"
"Yeah."
"Trans male, I assume."
"Y...yes. I started transitioning my first year of high school." Asuka told him, looking down at their hands. "My parents helped me get testerone, knowing I was scared my appearance would be too feminist if I started it too late."
"And Japanese law doesn't make it easy to transition."
"More like it makes it damn near impossible," Asuka said bitterly. "I only got top surgery because my dad flew me to South Korea when I begged him."
"Because you couldn't in Japan without a mental health diagnosis." Kosei said softly.
"And without agreeing to the rest of it, and I am not ready to be sterilized," Asuka said softly. "So, if you have any questions about the rest of it. That's your answer."
Kosei sighed, moving his chair closer.
"Asuka. That doesn't matter to me. You're not a drag king right? Not just a handsome looking Tomboy?"
"No."
"That's what matters. Not the rest of it. I'll admit that I've never dated anyone who was trans before, so I'll probably make some mistakes, but you being trans is not an issue for me."
Asuka took a deep breath, and released it, trying to calm himself down. This is not how he saw it going, not at all.
"You really are something else, you know that?" Asuka asked him, blinking back tears.
"And you are far too good looking to be crying so much," Kosei told him softly. "Will you tell me why you were so scared?"
"I...my ex, he uh, he wasn't too happy when I told him I was trans." Asuka said softly. "He made sure I understood that."
"Well, I'm not that asshole okay," Kosei told him quietly. "Will you give me a chance to prove that you?"
"I came here prepared for you to never want to see me again, but hoping to whatever deity out there that I was wrong," Asuka said with a relieved laugh. "I just, I don't know what I'm doing here okay. I am shit at dating. I have no experience."
"We'll figure it out together, okay?" Kosei told him, leaning in slowly, pressing his forehead to Asuka’s.
"Okay," Asuka softly softly, reaching up to touch Kosei's cheek. "Can I kiss you Kosei? I really feel like I need to kiss you."
"I'd be disappointed if you didn't." Kosei responded.
Asuka smiled slowly, leaning in, kissing Kosei softly. Kosei kissed him back slowly, putting his hand on Asuka’s. Asuka pulled back, smiling slowly.
"That was definitely worth the wait," he told Kosei with a smile.
"Was it worth the tears?"
"Absolutely," Asuka said, laughing softly.
"That's better. That's more like you."
Asuka chuckled, before pausing, looking up at Kosei shyly.
"Do you mind if I take a picture to let Haru and Makoto know I'm okay? I uh, I came out to them today," he said quietly.
"God, no wonder you were a wreck. Yeah, go ahead." Kosei told him.
Asuka smiled at him slowly, pulling his phone out, going to take a picture of the both of him. Just as he snapped the picture, Asuka felt Kosei lean in and press a kiss to his cheek. Asuka could feel himself flush as the camera shutter sounded.
"Unfair," he muttered softly.
"You're very attractive when you blush," Kosei told him. "Is it possible that you're actually bashful and all that flirting is just you keeping people at a distance?"
"I like to flirt," Asuka said with a shrug as he typed out a message to Makoto.
Sending this to you, as Haru has probably lost his phone by now
Sent: 3:02pm
He then sent the picture of him and Kosei to Makoto’s phone, smiling a bit at the sight of them. They did make an awfully cute couple.
He knows, and despite having never dated a trans man before, he says it's a non-issue. How are you 3 real?!
Sent: 3:03pm
"Does this make us official now?" He asked suddenly, turning to Kosei.
"Only if you stop cheating on me with Haru and Makoto," Kosei said, grinning slowly.
"But they're so cute!"
Kosei laughed softly, shaking his head.
"You are a mess, you know that?"
"Yeah, but you seem to like it."
"I never claimed to be smart," Kosei said softly and Asuka laughed softly, kissing him again, pausing when Kosei froze.
"I moved in too quickly, didn't I?" Asuka asked.
"Yeah...sorry...I…"
"It's okay," Asuka told him, giving his hands a squeeze. "We got plenty of time."
"Yeah," Kosei agreed. "And you promised me a nice lunch. I think we're making the staff uncomfortable anyway."
"We could always make it worse," Asuka said winking.
Kosei laughed loudly and Asuka felt a grin spread across his face. Maybe he owed Haru a thank you for encouraging him to tell Kosei.