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Eddie Diaz had learned a lot from working with the 118 over the few years he had been a part of the team, but he had never expected them to be this superstitious.
After the B-shift probie had said the “Q-Word”, all hell broke loose on station 118. Hen, Chimney, and Buck were sure that they were cursed or rather, jinxed. Eddie, however, wasn’t believing it for a second. Still, while he didn’t think their day of calls and the never-ending bell was due to the EMS gods being angry with them, his team did, so he humored them and enjoyed their candor.
However, then the day turned for the worse and they were stuck in their rig while Chimney and Buck went down a Google hole. Eddie sat in his seat, looking at Buck as he scrolled through his phone helping Chimney figure out if they each needed to ring the bells or just one of them. Bobby had even joined in on the conversation and it was only making the day that more ridiculous.
As Eddie watched Buck and the way his marked brow furrowed as he scrolled through some Wikipedia page, he couldn’t help but smile a bit. He always loved when Buck went into these modes, his ADHD sending him on a spiral that made him happy. Eddie often found himself looking at Buck when the latter didn’t know. It was hard not to when the man looked the way he did. Evan Buckley was as infectious as one could get and it made Eddie’s head hurt whenever he found his thoughts overwhelmed by everything Buck.
His thoughts flickered back to the morning when he had run into Ana Flores and her bright and flirtatious smile. She was pretty, smart, kind, but Eddie knew one thing: she wasn’t Buck.
It wasn’t until Eddie made another comment about the jinx that Chimney and Buck turned their attention on him.
“What more proof do you need, Eddie?” Chimney asked. “We are trapped in a death box! Thousands of volts of electricity coursing through every nook and cranny. Any one of us could literally get fried like that ,” Chimney said with a quick click of his fingers. Bobby sighed from the Captain’s seat.
“Or we just don't touch any doors or windows until help arrives and nobody gets fried,” Bobby said easily, trying to calm his team down. Buck wasn’t really listening as he kept scrolling. He then looked up at Hen with worried eyes.
“All I can find is some kind of human or animal sacrifice,” Buck said. “I'm not really down with that.” Eddie shook his head at his best friend.
“Do you guys not hear yourselves right now?” Eddie asked, raising his brows at Buck.
“Do you?” Buck countered. “It's like the universe is screaming at you and you refuse to listen.”
“The universe does not scream,” Eddie countered, but he wasn’t too sure about that. If he thought about it, ever since his first shift at the 118, the universe had been quite loud as it hollered in his ear about Evan Buckley.
Eddie wasn’t oblivious. He knew what he felt about the man and he knew what he wanted, but there were always things holding him back. Not to mention, he could never imagine Buck ever feeling the same way. It wasn’t because Eddie was a man, he figured Buck wasn’t straight after around the third conversation with him. No, it was because Maddie, Chimney, Hen, and the rest of the fire family had told Eddie about Buck’s past relationships and Eddie didn’t think he was a good fit for Buck.
Buck seemed to gravitate towards uncertainty and adventurous people. While Eddie was a veteran and a firefighter, he was also a single dad and a homebody when he wanted to be. Eddie knew Buck loved Chris and was always willing to spend time with the Diaz family on days off, but Eddie still worried that one day it wasn’t going to be enough. Maybe he wasn’t enough and those thoughts were enough to keep his secrets to himself.
That is until their engine got stolen and Eddie had to face more of his own demons to help Brian with his.
It wasn’t long after Eddie got off the radio and convinced Brian to show up at the five-alarm to help the 118 get their gear back and Eddie couldn’t get his thoughts to calm down. He shoved them down as much as he could to his job, but even then it was difficult.
Bobby had spoken to him earlier that evening about him needing to move on from Shannon and while he knew Bobby was referring to moving on with Ana after Buck had spilled the knowledge that he had run into the vice principal that morning, Eddie didn’t want that. Still, whether Bobby knew that Eddie was thinking about Buck instead of Ana, the advice was still solid and it followed him into the flames and back out.
By the time the shift from hell was finally over, the 118 was in desperate need of downtime. Eddie knew he had to go pick up Christopher from Carla’s but he also really needed to speak to Buck before he lost his nerve.
He was finishing up in the locker room when he heard Bobby inviting the team out for breakfast. Hen and Chimney were on board immediately and while Eddie waited for Buck’s acceptance, he was surprised to hear that Buck was going to take a raincheck.
Eddie tried to keep his focus on the laces of his boots as he pulled them on. It was then that he heard Buck’s unmistakable footsteps enter the locker room and then the door latching behind him. “It was a good thing you did for Brian,” Buck said, dropping his bag and leaning against the lockers in front of Eddie who was on the bench. “He needed to hear that.”
“Poor guy was just lost,” Eddie said with a shrug, not looking up at him.
“And yet you got him where he needed to go,” Buck said and Eddie could hear the smile in his voice. “You’re a good man, Eddie.” This time, Eddie did look up and met Buck’s eyes.
“Thanks, Buck,” he said, offering a smile of his own. He went back to finishing up his laces, trying to keep his breathing under control as Buck stared down at him. It was after a moment of silence, that Buck spoke again.
“Are you okay?” Buck asked and Eddie had to bite his tongue before he gave one of his usual vague answers. Instead, he went for the truth.
“Not really,” Eddie admitted, looking up at Buck who then looked sheepish.
“If this is what I said about Ana,” he began, “I was just messing around, man. I didn’t mean to say anything…”
“It’s okay, Buck,” Eddie said as he got to his feet and stood across from Buck, his shoulder leaning into the metal lockers as well. “Oddly enough, it actually helped.”
“Helped how?” Buck asked, his brow furrowing into his famous confused puppy look. Eddie took a breath then before continuing.
“You got me to think about what I really wanted or rather what I thought I wanted and didn’t,” Eddie said.
“Which is what?” Buck asked, his voice a bit softer now as he read the slowly growing tension in the room.
“Well,” Eddie went on, “I know that I don’t want Ana Flores and today helped with that.”
“A cursed shift made you realize Ana wasn’t for you?” Buck asked, surprised.
“And who was,” Eddie answered immediately, locking his eyes onto Buck’s. Buck wasn’t always the quickest when it came to these things, but he eventually got there. As soon as he realized what Eddie was saying, his eyes widened a fraction but Eddie didn’t look away and he didn’t back down.
“Uh,” Buck said, awkwardly, trying to organize his thoughts. “I don’t know what to say to that,” Buck admitted and Eddie’s mouth turned up at the corners in a slight smile.
“What was it that you said in the death box?” Eddie asked. “The universe is screaming at me?”
“I thought the universe didn’t scream,” Buck said as he swallowed thickly. Eddie’s eyes flashed to his throat quickly before looking back at Buck’s face.
“I guess I just wasn’t listening,” Eddie spoke softly and then feeling bold, reached up and wrapped his hand around the back of Buck’s neck. When Buck didn’t move away from him, Eddie’s hand relaxed, letting his fingers trail through the curls at the nape of Buck’s neck.
“What do you hear now?” Buck whispered.
“It’s not so much what I hear ,” Eddie said, “but what I see, what I feel.”
“And what’s that?” Buck asked.
“That I’ve been denying the feelings I have for you for way too long and I am so done avoiding them or masking them with humor or...or anger,” Eddie said and he saw Buck’s eyes flick away for just a second.
“Anger…” Buck repeated. “Like the lawsuit.”
“Not just the lawsuit. It’s about everything. Evan,” Eddie said and Buck jolted at the use of his first name. Eddie applied more pressure to the back of his neck and Buck relaxed further under his touch. “All those times I got angry at you, it was because I was hurt or worried that you were going to leave me.”
“I’m not going anywhere ,” Buck said, his eyes nearly pleading as he tried to get Eddie to see that he was being sincere.
“I know,” Eddie said, moving his hand so it slid across Buck’s neck and up to his face. Buck’s eyes fluttered shut at the contact before they opened again.
“You’re my family,” Buck said. “You and Chris and I could never leave you because...because I feel the same way, Eddie.” Eddie could have collapsed right there at those words and as if Buck knew that, he placed his hand on Eddie’s waist, keeping him steady. “I have felt this way for a long time. More so since I saw that well collapse on you last year. I thought I had lost you and I couldn’t breathe.”
Eddie reached up with his other hand and took Buck’s face in his hands, making the other man look at him. “I’m right here, Evan,” Eddie said. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere either.”
Buck looked at him for a moment before he smiled and then his own hand was covering one of Eddie’s that was on his face. Buck let out another breath, feeling the tension leave his body and Eddie thought he had never looked so beautiful than in that moment. Completely at ease in Eddie’s arms.
“Who knew,” Buck said, “that all it would take for you to admit your feelings was a probie saying—”
“Ah, ah,” Eddie cut him off, “don’t you dare.” Buck grinned wider.
“I thought you didn’t believe in it?” Buck teased. Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Better safe than sorry,” Eddie said, but Buck wasn’t buying it.
“Admit it,” he said, “we were jinxed.”
“Dios mio,” Eddie swore as he pulled Buck into him and pressed his lips against Buck’s. Buck responded immediately as his hands gripped onto Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie had always imagined their first kiss would be somewhere more romantic than the station locker room, but it didn’t seem like Buck was complaining as he kissed him back harder.
Pressing him up against the lockers, Eddie took the time to kiss Buck slowly. He tasted even better than he could have imagined as soon as Buck ran his nails across Eddie’s scalp, Diaz was done. A moan flew from his throat as Buck’s tongue ran along Eddie’s palate and the former seemed amused that he was able to elicit such a sound from the other firefighter.
Eventually, when both men needed to breathe, they separated but didn’t go far. Eddie leaned his forehead against Buck’s and listened to his breathing, content and carefree. “You are something else, Eddie Diaz,” Buck whispered. Eddie smiled, nudging Buck’s nose with his own.
“Come with me to get Chris?” Eddie whispered back, not willing to spend any time apart from him. Buck grinned.
“Spending the day with my Diaz boys?” Buck asked. “Absolutely,” he said before kissing Eddie again and surrendering to everything they both now knew: whenever you think the universe is screaming at you...it definitely is.