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You sat in your bed, trying to calm yourself down. Nothing had happened in particular, no big event to set this all off. It was just the stress of the entire week’s events that had built up and up until it reached a boiling point and spilled over. It was a stupid thing really that was the final straw, something that normally wouldn’t matter. Something that, under different circumstances you might have actually laughed at the ridiculous nature of. But not with how much tension had been building up in your mind all throughout this week. Now in the vulnerable sensitive state you were already in, that little thing totally snapped you.
So here you sat, curled up in a ball with your legs pulled to your chest and your arms tightly wrapped around them, rocking back and forth on your bed. The stress was so much that every muscle in your body felt tight and strained, stiff and inflexible as you sat there rocking, then clutching your head in your hands, your hair pulled taught between your fingers. While you wanted to cry to let out the pent up emotions, no tears would even come.
You had already tried working through all the coping techniques you knew. Calming music playing, you were in soft pajamas and in bed, the lights were dimmed so it wouldn’t be too bright to give you a headache. You tried the deep breathing exercises, but they didn’t last long as your panic quickly escalated to hyperventilating. Your mouth felt drier than a desert and you were breathing so fast and hard that you were starting to get light headed and fuzzy from the feeling. You just wanted this all to be over. It was almost three in the morning now and you had no idea how long you had been like this for. But still it wouldn’t stop.
You squeezed your eyes shut and prayed to the gods. Someone to help you. Please.
Momentary relief flooded your mind when you felt the cool air blow in from the window. He heard you. The relief didn’t last long though, and as much as you wanted to look up to see him or say something nice to welcome him, your neck muscles were so tight that you couldn’t mentally will your head to move through it.
“My breeze!” His light raspy voice was still as calming as ever through his worry as he called his pet name for you, and before you knew it the wind god, Fujin was by your side. "I heard your call." He kneeled beside the bed, carefully placing a hand against your back. You tried- oh you tried, to do something, anything besides sitting there rocking back and forth. But no words came, no movement made, and still you struggled feeling like you were drowning above water as you took shallow breaths in and out, the air not even reaching your lungs before it was quickly shot back out. “Are you hurt?” Fujin asked first, making sure you were physically okay. With the way you were so tightly curled into a ball, he really couldn’t see much of your body or your face, so it was a reasonable question. You took a few seconds before getting your body to respond and shake your head against your knees, no . Physically you were fine, aside from the effects of your own anxiety. “Okay. Do you need anything?” He asked firmly, and again you shook your head no. Nothing that could be gotten anyways. All you needed was for this feeling to stop.
He was quiet for a few moments, rubbing gentle circles into your back shaking back. Eventually you heard the rustling sound of movement as he stood up. His hand stopped it's rubbing as he scooped both arms around you, picking you up and sitting on the bed so he could rest you on his lap, cradling you in his arms. While you and been rocking fast back and forth struggling to breathe, he now rocked you slowly, gently in his arms.
"Shhhhhh," He cooed, guiding a loose strand of hair out of your face and behind your ear. Even after he finished moving it he didn’t take his hand from your face as he gently guided it up so you wouldn’t be curled up as tightly. “Relax, my breeze.” You couldn’t see his face with your eyes squeezed shut, but you knew he would be knitting his eyebrows and tilting his head as he looked at you in worry. “I’m here now, it’s okay.” He spoke just above a whisper before kissing your forehead.
“Just focusing on breathing, my love.” He said, his lips brushing softly against your forehead. He waved a hand, sending a teeny gust of air to tickle the tip of your nose. “Feel the air come in, feel it fill your lungs, and let it out slooowly.” He guided you through the movements, pressing another kiss to your skin at the end of every sentence. He was being careful not to crowd you too much, but still covered you in affection.
You stayed like that for who knows how long. Time seemed to pass so fast and so slow at the same time, and in your state you didn’t exactly have the best judge of how long things were taking. But however long it was didn’t matter, his slow soothing movements and warm gentle kisses helped calm you. Eventually your intense shaking had reduced to just a small tremor in your hands. Each breath you took in filled your lungs more than the last, and with each one you felt the tension in your body start to release more and more. With the tension leaving your body, you were just left with the heavy sore feeling in all your muscles. Your fast paced hyperventilating from earlier had totally worn you out, and now each of these deep full breaths made your chest feel sore. Still, you focused on making sure your breaths came in a deep slow rhythm. You were finally calm and relaxed, but exhausted and everything hurt .
“There you go.” Fujin smiled softly, letting his thumb stroke across your cheek a few times as you looked up at him. “It’s okay, love.” He tilted his head, pure love radiating from his glowing eyes. “You’ve been going through a lot.” He spoke more, now that it was more clear that you could actually understand the words he was saying with your panic calmed down. “I’m so proud of you.” He pressed yet another kiss to your forehead, and you felt his lips curl into a smile before he pulled away. “You are so strong, but please remember that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. I’ll always be here for you. Whenever you need me, okay?” You nodded silently, exhaustion from your night finally hitting you.
“Come.” Fujin stood, still cradling you in his arms. He turned and placed you back down on the bed, resting your head gently against the pillow and tucking your blanket over you. Then he turned to step away. “Get some rest.”
“Mmm.” You made a small sound of protest, reaching your hand out to him after he tucked you in. He chuckled, the sound sending butterflies through your spent body.
“Don’t worry, love, I’m not going anywhere.” He chuckled out. He stepped out of the room and returned just as quickly with a cup of cool water for you. You sat up and took a few sips of it before placing it down on your bedside table. The cold water felt good as it trickled down your throat, and it was another reminder of just how much energy you had used.
Then Fujin stood and took off his gear. His sword and armored pieces removed and set aside, his boots kicked off, and his shirt pulled over his head- folded neatly and placed on a table. It was always a nice sight, but was especially welcome after how bad you had been feeling earlier. Now much more comfortable, he crawled into your bed with you. He pulled you tight against his chest.
“Sleep, my breeze. I will be here to protect you from everything that worries you.” He lifted your chin and finally gave you a real kiss, his lips soft and warm against your own. “Sleep now, safely in my arms.” You smiled and nodded as you cuddled up against him.
You were spent. Exhausted, sore, worn out, tired. But he was right, you were safe. Your Fujin was here at your side, and you knew everything would be okay with him here. It didn’t take long before the fatigue got to you and you felt like you melted against Fujin, focusing on the feeling of him rubbing you gently until sleep eventually took you both.