Chapter Text
“Saiki, I think we need to have an intervention.” Saiki narrowed his eyebrows and gave Toritsuka his best annoyed face. It didn’t work. Unfortunately for him, the purple-haired idiot was actually serious.
“Hate to say it Kusuo, but I’m with this dumbass.” Aiura chimed in, looping her arm around Saiki’s shoulder. Since it was just the three of them in the hallway at that moment, he teleported out of her grasp, sending her stumbling for a few feet, cursing at him.
What are you guys talking about? Saiki asked telepathically. He hadn’t caught wind of any plotting from the two of them over the past few days, which was unlike him. Truth be told, he hadn’t really been as focused as usual lately, but that wasn’t anything to do with them, and whatever it was they wanted to intervene with him about.
“We need to talk about, um,” Toritsuka glanced over at Aiura who rolled her eyes dramatically.
“Yeah, yeah. Ok, whatever I’ll say it. I guess it would be kind of hypocritical coming from you huh perv?” Saiki wanted to leave. By now, from their thoughts, he had picked up on the subject of the intervention. It was about his newfound interest in his outstandingly ordinary classmate: Satou Hiroshi. They seemed to think that his observations of the boy were creepy, and not simply research for how to blend into school life as seamlessly as Satou did. He was the epitome of normalcy, everything Saiki craved becoming. “You have got to stop creeping on that dude, Kusuo. I’m serious. Like, it made sense at first with the whole wannabe wallflower thing you have going on. Which, by the way, so weird. We should talk about that some time because there’s definitely a lot to unpack there.”
Mikoto I would rather you don’t try to psychoanalyze me on a Wednesday afternoon.
Yeah ok then weirdo pick a day because we have a looooooot to talk about. She shot back internally, squinting a little the way she always did when trying to create a specific train of thought to send to Saiki.
“Guysss.” Toritsuka whined, “Care to share with the class?”
No. Not when the class is you.
“Yeah whatever. He dodged the important part anyway. Kusuo you are becoming some kind of weird stalker for this guy and we don’t like it. Well, I don’t like it. Toritsuka thinks it’s weird and he’s the one who told me about it but if I’m being honest he has literally no reason to be here since he does wayyy worse shit than this. Not excusing your behavior though, because it’s fucking weird.”
“What the fuck, Aiura?” Toritsuka shook his head. “I’m going to eat lunch if you’re just gonna insult me. Have fun with Mr. Saiki the Psycho Stalker.” He walked off
I’m not becoming a stalker. Like I said, I’m just fascinated by how ordinary he is. Bye.
“Yeah, no way. Not so fast. I guess it would make sense if it’s envy, but that does not explain the fact that Toritsuka says you’re always smiling when you see him.” Saiki frowned and turned back around to face Aiura again, as he had begun walking off to lunch. He was definitely not aware of that development. He wondered if maybe Aiura’s words had a ring of truth to him, if he was actually being a little creepy. It’s not like he was creeping out Satou though, he always made sure Satou never noticed him staring, or watching, or observing for research and emulation purposes. Whatever you call it. Not stalking though. “Do you think maybe you have a crush on him?”
What. No.
Saiki didn’t understand why his heart dropped as Aiura said that. He didn’t understand the churning in his stomach and the sudden heat in his face that made him swivel around just as quickly as before and start walking off to lunch. He tried to ignore Aiura’s streams of consciousness as he balled his hands into fists.
He totally has a crush, that was the least convincing no I have ever heard in my life, and he blushed. Blushed! I’ve literally only ever see him do that in front of like, deserts. God he’s such a weirdo. But if he’s never had a crush before, I guess it would make sense for him to act a little weird and uh, stalker-ish? Hm. Maybe he’ll talk to me when he figures it out.
I won’t. Because I don’t have a crush. Now stop thinking about me or I’ll make Toritsuka fall in love with you.
You can do that??????
How would you know if I can or can’t.
You’re bluffing.
Do you want to risk it?
He could probably do it, but he wouldn’t subject Mikoto to that, no matter how annoyed with her he was. Radio silence from her end followed, signifying his victory. Saiki closed his eyes as he walked, and cooled his face down using psychokinesis. He really did not want to think about the prospect of having feelings for Satou Hiroshi. If he thought about it too much, he would inevitably have to confront the fact that all the evidence piled up in the favor of that theory. As far as he had previously been concerned, his interest in Satou Hiroshi was nothing more than that: an interest. Barely even platonic, and certainly not romantic. It was just crazy to him how perfectly average Satou was. Hearing his thoughts and watching him complete his day to day activities in an utterly predictable way was calming for Saiki. It helped alleviate the stress of his decidedly abnormal group of associates. That must be it. He smiled around Satou because he was calm, and Mikoto and Toritsuka only noticed because their oddities stress him out too much for him to smile around him. The blush from earlier was just embarrassment about being confronted so directly over something completely ridiculous, that had to be it.