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“We’ve been dating for a while…” his Mourning Dove said, breaking the silence as both of them drank their morning coffee.
It was too early for words. Mourning Dove would have to settle for a grunt as he nursed the foul drink.
Simon could still barely stand the stuff, but it was the only thing keeping him awake during the day after nights of particularly bad insomnia. One day he was going to have to find his old friend from the clink and demand the secret to a tolerable glass.
“You’ve never told me the reasoning for the name you’ve so graciously given me.”
In an instant, Simon’s morning went from barely tolerable, to amazing. He had been waiting for this moment for months . He had been so thrilled when he hadn’t thought twice about the nickname he had gifted him.
Because now he got to have a moment like this.
“You’re one of the most clever bastards I’ve met. What do you suppose it means?”
His Mourning Dove stared him down. “Well from that grin on your face, I find it hard to believe it’s as sweet as you’d like me to believe.”
“I’ve never forced you to believe anything.”
“That’s a damn lie and you know it. Most of your credentials are associates of yours that you’ve entirely made up for the sake of an argument. Have you forgotten the gentleman from the clink who told you flossing is needless busy work? Or when you told me that ‘poggers’ was not internet slang and is an acceptable word to use in a professional setting?” their tone was accusatory, and their eyebrows raised.
“And we’re going to pretend like it wasn’t funny to see your brother pass on when you told him his ‘argument was very poggers’?”
There was silence.
The faintest hint of a grin graced his Mourning Dove’s lips as they recalled the memory. “That is not the point of this conversation, Panda.”
“I believe I still left the task for you to do. Or are you telling me you’re not up for it?” he taunted.
They rolled their eyes. “You can be such a pest.”
“Is the hell I go to for being a pest similar to the one I get for teasing a monk?”
“Yes and it’s similar to the hell I’m in now. Hush,” they lightly bapped his lips as they got to thinking.
Simon grinned wickedly, as he sipped his coffee. Maybe he burnt something in it, or maybe he needed some cream or sugar in it. He wasn’t going to change anything about it now, so he’ll just have to use having information His Mourning Dove didn’t to keep it sweet.
“Does this have anything to do with the Sad Monk nickname you gave me? Dove’s are commonly associated with religion, and I am correct in that it’s the right kind of mourning.”
“A solid answer with a good explanation, but alas it’s not the right one,” but Simon knew it.
“Well now I’m concerned, because you look like the cat who caught the canary.”
“I would never harm a Canary. Keeping a Canary safe is what landed me in the clink.”
“You’re being intentionally obtuse, aren’t you?”
“Correct,” Mourning Dove had to know what it’s like to have information and hold it over someone’s head. It’s a great time and Simon would recommend it to everyone who isn’t directly his problem.
“So I’m going to take that as this being a secret you’re going to take to your grave?” they huffed.
“Depends if you’re willing to have me channeled or not,” he smirked.
They gave him a stern look. “Panda… If you don’t tell me, I’ll be forced to tell the entire prosecutor’s office you talk to Taka in the cutesiest little voice.”
That had to be a bluff.
“You know that if you do that, that any semblance of credibility you have would disappear.” Simon grunted, more than willing to call his bluff.
Simon’s reputation was untouchable. Even with his name cleared, he was still someone to be feared. He loved His Mourning Dove dearly, but they could not combat the reputation he had for being terrifying.
“I suppose it would be interesting to see who would come out on top: A servant of the Holy Mother, who’s reputation, while not as well established, is still known as a devoted follower, or you a wrongly convicted man who acts terrifying to keep others at a distance so no one comes close to see how sweet and sensitive you are,” they smiled sweetly.
“Oi. I think you mean the bastard ex-con who’ll slash down a witness and is accompanied by a hawk.”
“The same ex-con who’s never actually hurt a witness, no matter how cruel, and the hawk he baby talks when he thinks they’re alone?”
“Oi.”
“Yes?” they asked, smiling mockingly. “Do you have a counterpoint or are you simply upset that I’m using facts against you?”
“I fail to see how any of this is going to make me want to share the secret to the name I’ve given you.”
“Blackmail.”
Simon shook his head. “What hell will you be sent to for this?”
“It’s actually my reward for dealing with you making me work for my information.”
“Did the Holy Mother tell you that?”
“She did. As well as the fact I’ll keep my mouth shut if you tell me.”
He had to respect that he was out maneuvered. His Mourning Dove was clever, and he had to respect that.
“So all you’re asking for in exchange for your silence on the matter is me telling you the meaning of the silly little nickname I’ve given you?”
“A gracious offer, is it not?”
With a dramatic sigh, Simon “relented”. “I suppose I could share then. You recall the trees near the detention center that no one parks around?”
“The ones with the birds that make a mess of your car if you park under them?”
“Those are mourning doves.”
There was silence as the information sank in.
“And why in the Holy Mother’s name, is that the bird you’ve chosen for me?”
“Because from the moment I’ve met you, I knew that both of you were full of shit.”
Now he felt very proud of himself. The loss he had before was now made up for entirely. He had won. He had done it.
“I’m the one that’s full of shit?” they asked incredulously. “Between the two of us, I’m the one that’s full of shit?”
“Yes,” he grinned and stole a kiss. “You are my Mourning Dove.”
“You are borderline intolerable…” they shook their head to hide their grin. “Make us breakfast then.”
“That wasn’t part of the agreement. You made the terms very clear.”
“Yes but I think I deserve it after how cruel my Panda is. I shall use your nickname in public now with reckless abandon.”
“Careful with your credibility, my Mourning Dove. That’s more a detriment to you than it is to me.”
“Afraid people will see you as the big cuddly bear you are?”
“I’m not fat nor hairy enough to be a bear.”
“You’re not going to deny the cuddly part? Huh. Interesting.”
Simon gently bapped his nose back. “Oh woe is me. To be in a relationship where I’m bullied so,” he bemoaned dramatically as he went to get started on some toast.
“Thank you Panda, I appreciate it.”
He stole a kiss on his way to the cupboard for the spread.
“I’ll get you next time, Mourning Dove.”
“I’ll be waiting.”