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Erica
Ken felt something tickling his throat as he trudged back from the desert, running from the pounding in his chest that constricted and sputtered without the sudden intrusion of Daisuke staying inside. He swallowed down on nothing, his larynx throbbing with that same inevitable pull that shattered him to the core.
When he finally made it to the TV, he coughed and hacked, making Leafmon fret and worry about him until his hacking brought him to the floor of his bedroom, tiny pink buds falling out of his lips as his lungs burned, unable to fill up, painfully alone again.
Verbena
Ken blushed as Daisuke reached for him, beaming with his wide eyes and wider mouth, his throat scratching painfully as he made his excuses to leave. Daisuke’s heart filled him once again, and Ken let himself cling to it, curled his fingers over his chest and into his uniform, wrinkling the front with his clenched fist.
They’d nearly won together, with Daisuke leading him, feeling right for the first time in maybe his whole life, and Ken felt light upon returning.
Until the coughing started.
His lungs sputtered out tiny purple dots, five points that deepened as they closed together.
Bluebell
He didn’t know when he’d gotten used to this, this tightness in his chest when he was near Daisuke, when they Jogressed together - when he slept on the floor of Daisuke’s room, listening to the soft snores above him and trying to take deep, even breaths, pretend to sleep himself and stifle the coughs attempting to come out of him.
He failed, the feel of soft petals making their way up and out turning him on his side, the sweet bell shapes tumbling past his lips as he tried to quiet it, hold it in, not bother Daisuke any more.
Amaryllis
Ken knew he would have to run away right after, so he held the invitations like a lifeline before handing them to everyone, fretted with his fingers as the familiar intensity started to build.
For now, his lungs could still move, not choked completely by the strange growths inside him, words still able to escape before he ran away to get ready, to bend over the toilet as giant red petals came up, so big he barely understood how they fit inside him, soft and supple as they bent up and around his esophagus, fitting together into one large bloom.
Pink Rose
Ken’s arms ached from holding tight to Daisuke’s middle, keeping on Raidramon’s back as they rushed across the city, simultaneously happy to be so close and determined to help out in any way he could against the reminder of his shame coming to their home now, stark against the skyline.
He trusted they could do anything together, when Daisuke invited him onto his partner his heart aligned even without their digimon converging together and Ken longed for it anyway, longed for their jogress to keep him buoyed like it did now through the coughing, pink rounded triangles choking him out.
Sunflower
Ken choked into his palm, hiding the evidence from Daisuke as he ran forward, tiny yellow slivers coming up and up and never ending. He gave Daisuke a bright smile through the pain in his chest, the joy at seeing Daisuke drowning it out, replaced with the brightness that only Daisuke could bring to his life. He’d come to him - to save him, and when Daisuke’s heart made its home in his chest it didn’t matter that his lungs didn’t work, that there were still hundreds of tiny black seeds trapped in him and too many petals, there was Daisuke.
Lavender
Ken held himself together through the flight across the world, waved goodbye to Daisuke as he climbed into the plane to leave him, go do the job they needed to, and turned to his own ride only to find himself knocked to the ground by the force of the nature inside him.
He couldn’t breathe, something long, branching growing up and out. He grabbed the end from the back of his mouth and pulled at it.
The stalk, dotted with unassuming light lavenders, hit the tarmac as Yamato eyed him and he shook his head, begging him not to ask.
Aster Tataricus
The sandstorm scattered as Ken threw off the covers, his battered and weak lungs heaving to get air back in through the perforations of all the plants he’d grown over the past few months, ever since that day.
Why was there always a desert? A desert stretching out and leaving him alone and bereft. He itched to get in touch with Daisuke, send him a message, find that comfort even as he held both hands over his mouth, overflowing with small periwinkle petals around a yellow center, the platonic ideal of a flower escaping and choking him as he Remembered.
Red Spider Lily
Ken curled on the floor of the shaking van as it drove on, his arms trapped behind him and his legs tucked into his chest. Where was Daisuke. He was supposed to save him. He’d always saved him before. He held in his pathetic sobs, begging for Daisuke to come, until he couldn’t anymore, his cries turning into coughs and back as the spindles escaped out of him, Oikawa’s taunting laugh echoing, his hands picking up some of the razor-thin but flexible rods of red, crushing them in his hands, stealing the stifled feelings right from between Ken’s lips.
Primrose
His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, even after it was over, standing here on the bridge overlook with Daisuke beside him. Daisuke’s gloved hand gripped his, and Ken returned it with a squeeze even as his breath stole away, every exhale smelling floral.
He longed to rest his head on Daisuke’s shoulder, fully immerse himself in the other, instead he shuffled to the side, only pushed into the car beside Iori, Daisuke far away in the front seat.
At least it was easier to hide his cough, palm the little star bloom that came out, put it in his pocket here.
White Rose
Ken steeled himself, building up as much courage as he could to be there for Daisuke, and still it wasn’t enough. He stepped back, doing what Daisuke asked, remaining behind and in awe of how powerful Daisuke was, fighting on and truly, in his core, believing he could win even this fight. He wrapped his arms around himself, his throat scratching as something scraped up it, white petals stained with flecks of blood and thorns flying out of him as Daisuke continued to fight ahead of them.
He covered his heart, willing it to find Daisuke, giving all of himself.
Carnation
Daisuke held his hand, after it was over, pressed their palms together to keep listening even after Imperialdramon dissipated and their jogress wasn’t necessary anymore, having finally defeated the nightmare from both of their pasts.
But his parents were there when they came back into the camping area, whisked him away and comforting him and that was good, to have his Mother’s arms squeezing him tight in contrast to the squeeze in his lungs.
When he coughed up the large red bloom that had been constricting him ever since Daisuke had touched him, his parents gave him equal worried looks.
Yellow Camellia
Daisuke waltzed into his apartment like he belonged, like he’d been there every day and not at one party, like he wanted to be there with Ken and keep seeing each other after it was blessedly over.
He tucked into his family’s osechi with them, and Ken sat ramrod straight, trying not to think about leaning his head down, feeling the fluffy ruff of Daisuke’s winter jacket with his cheek, his legs close to Daisuke’s.
He did none of these things, instead feeling his own stuttering breaths as he excused himself to expunge the gigantic yellow buds that came up.
Gardenia
The spread of red hearts and fancy ribboned packaging only made Ken cringe as Daisuke laid it out on his bed, all smiles and happiness for Ken’s haul even as he admitted how jealous he was.
Ken immediately offered every last scrap to him, all the unwanted chocolate and feelings transposed and pushed into something for Daisuke instead, and clammed up after.
If he said it didn’t really matter enough, maybe the things inside him would also stop. Maybe he wouldn’t choke and cough and have to cover his mouth as Daisuke gave him concerned glances from where he munched.
Morning Glory
“I was thinking we could do something special for golden week.” Daisuke skipped beside him, clutching his backpack’s straps, still with the bright yellow safety cover on it even in their final year in elementary school.
It sounded amazing, getting to do ‘something special’, even if Daisuke didn’t mean it like that . Even if it was just two best friends spending more time together during the holiday.
Daisuke chose him, and Ken nodded, unsure if his sore throat full of little bells of petals could make any actual noise, spitting them up and swallowing them down as best he could.
Red Poppy
Ken dropped to the grass, heaving with his abused lungs after running around the pitch with Daisuke, his every breath wheezing just to the edge of painful, but none of that mattered.
Not with Daisuke beside him, getting to just have fun with him and play together like this. It didn’t matter that he could barely breathe, something beautiful and terrifying blooming inside him, that he had to run away so Daisuke wouldn’t see him hack up red petals, tinged with black at their short ends that fit together, trying to get them all out before he filled up again.
Fritillaria camschatcensis
The other chosen children all welcomed him into their group, barely mentioning that last year’s event was tinged with the fact they were actively fighting him at the time.
They talked about their adventure, how they’d been trapped , and Ken blushed with his foolishness of choosing to stay there for three months.
Daisuke covered his hand with his own in the tall grass when it came time for them to reminisce, his words about jogress and what it meant to him poetry, and Ken excused himself just in time for black to erupt out of him in sharp looking points.
Pansy
“Happy birthday.” Ken clutched his present, boxed up and wrapped by his mother because she couldn’t stand to watch him struggle anymore, in his sweaty arms as he stood outside Daisuke’s apartment.
It wasn’t much. Daisuke had just been complaining about how his soccer ball wasn’t getting as much air as he thought it should, so he’d gotten him a new one to play with.
They could play with. Together.
Which was exactly what they did, after Ken had excused himself to cough the stars of yellow, dark splotches decorating that made Ken worry they might have been dried blood.
Cherry Blossom
Hibiscus
Ken only coughed a little bit into his fist as he walked beside Daisuke, walking home from the whole day they stayed together, watching movies and eating so much more sugar than he was used to, and everything buzzed in the crisp air.
“Check it out!” Daisuke whooped as he ran forward, crunching some of the fallen leaves under his shoes and giggling as he turned to look at Ken. Ken returned the smile, rushing forward to join him even as his lungs started to burn from the strain of laughing too hard and keeping all the pink inside him.
“Happy birthday.” Daisuke lingered in the entrance of Ken’s apartment, playing with the button of his left pocket on his cargo shorts.
“Thank you.” His lungs were too full and even if he could muster up the courage to spill out how happy he was that Daisuke made today so very special , he wasn’t sure he could say any of it.
When Daisuke pulled out a small box from his pocket, a cute hair clip inside because ken was always messing with his bangs when Daisuke was around, he stumbled to his room, expelling the giant pink out in droves.
Azalea
Ken squeaked, feeling his lungs constrict as Daisuke popped out of the corner holding a fancy-looking box up to him and leading him out to a nice park near his new middle school.
He pulled at his bangs and hid behind them when Daisuke started gushing about how smart and cool Ken was, for getting into his prestigious middle school, eating more of the slice of cake he brought for Ken than Ken was.
He couldn’t eat right now. He hadn’t expected Daisuke to show up, he wasn’t ready, his lungs burned and his lips ached around the blooms.
Daffodil
He was used to it now, could work around the flowers that grew whenever he was near Daisuke, would cut off and choke him out and force their hangouts shorter than he ever wanted them.
But he could deal with it. Especially when all he had to do was watch from afar, on the other side of the soccer pitch from Daisuke, could focus on the rest of Daisuke’s team - until Daisuke asserted himself against Ken and stopped him in his tracks.
He managed to fight through the handshake, blushing at the intense way Daisuke held his gaze during it.
Daisy
It was Ken’s second time coming to this gathering, his second time seeing most of the older chosen, too tied up within the gravity of Daisuke and their group around him.
He wouldn’t have it any other way. Daisuke constantly chased Ken into the light, pulling him in with the rest and keeping them all together, and Ken’s heart pounded every time he looked at him.
The only time he left his side all day, he quickly coughed up several long, thin petals of pure white, returning to soak up Daisuke’s strength to get through the rest of the reminiscing.
Lily of the Valley
Ken had been looking forward to this day for weeks, had planned a nice day that Daisuke deserved for just the two of them. He fiddled with his cuffs, trying not to think about how this could be a date in a different light.
How his breath caught on that thought and continued to degrade once Daisuke joined him, gripping Ken’s elbow with his whole arm and pulling him close even though it made walking even harder.
He miscalculated, ending up in a coughing fit in front of Daisuke, barely managing to palm the tiny bells that came up too.
White Camellia
Ken paced his room, flopped to the floor as he continued to stare at Daisuke’s email. He’d almost cancelled twice, and still the thought of having Daisuke close itched at him, both exactly what he wanted and the most painful thing in the world.
Another coughing fit roiled through him, more huge white petals floating to the floor he curled on. He knew they shouldn’t have those blood red dots. He knew they weren’t just what the flowers looked like.
He clutched his hands to his chest, trying to work through his breathing exercises, punctuated by more and more coughing.
Zinnia
Ken kept coughing out little bright pink petals, rushing to keep up with Daisuke as he swung himself into the fray, needing to be here for him. He doubled over when Daisuke finally stopped, more scared than he’d ever seen before.
The enemy, flashing too tall above them, swung out its weapon and connected with Imperialdramon, sending a tear of pain through Ken’s side as well. He reached out and clutched Daisuke’s hand even as he yelled for him to run, eyes brimming with tears.
“I’m with you.” For the first time in a while, he could actually breathe right.
Red Camellia
Once the doctors saw his lungs, they couldn’t stop talking about them. Urging him to do this or that treatment, pushing regimens on him to help kill the grow inside him. Demanding he do something .
But he’d read too much on his own to accept that. To let his love die just to save himself. Daisuke wouldn’t like it, but he’d rather continue on with every hacking cough and every blood red petal, thankfully supposed to be that way this time, than lose any bit of love he had for him.
He’d stay beside Daisuke even if it killed him.
Edelweiss
There was the other option. Ken’s hand hovered next to the Motomiya door, poised to ring the electronic bell, ready.
He could try. He could let it all out, let the feelings of love and adoration spill from his lips just as fast as the petals, let the avalanche take him and then maybe it would be over.
But then it might all be over. Playing soccer at the park. Late nights watching movies and playing games and -
If he lost Daisuke - he couldn’t bare it. Even if it meant the thick spikes he hacked up stopped. He turned away.
Lotus
“What’s wrong?” Daisuke didn’t bother with any preamble, waltzed into Ken’s room, making him realize he hadn’t seen him in two weeks.
He scrambled to come up with an excuse that wasn’t how much his body hurt just to see Daisuke, to be with him and know he could never be with him, knowing that soon he wouldn’t be able to breathe at all.
Daisuke demanded they never skip another weekend hang, and Ken found he didn’t care how his chest ached and he spent the rest of the day coughing, coughing, huge sharp but delicate petals that almost glowed.
Cactus
Daisuke kissed him, and Ken knew this was a dream, a wonderful dream where Daisuke loved him back and everything was perfect and nothing hurt anymore.
This one went further, though. Daisuke undressed him like he was precious, made him bloom in a whole new way, opening him up as the petals danced and tore around them. Daisuke’s hands and chest and body crowded into him, replaced the blooms with himself, inside him with such perfection when he woke he cried, then cried more from the pain of sharp needles crowding inside him, hacking up as much as he could.
Forget-me-not
He could get through this. He could handle a whole day with Daisuke, wandering his school together and keeping it inside.
What he couldn’t handle was his other friends, teasing them both mercilessly. He couldn’t blame them. How could they have known when he’d never told anyone, made anyone who saw swear to secrecy?
He did his best, frequent escapes to get the majority of the tiny fully intact baby blues out so he could get oxygen in, but they just kept coming.
Nothing could stop it. Not as long as Daisuke was nearby. Ken could not be without him.
Violet
He miscalculated again, the coughing fit starting before he’d escaped from Daisuke’s room, and Daisuke clicked the lock closed, trapping him inside.
“Ken, please. Please tell me what’s wrong.”
He gulped down the petals in his mouth, the sweet flavor hitting his tongue as he contained himself as best he could.
Daisuke sat him on his bed and Ken fell apart.
“There’s something - really wrong with me.” He clutched his sides, his chest moving up and down with each ragged breath. “It’s...a chronic condition.”
“I’ll do anything I can to help. Can I help?”
Only one thing could help.
White Chrysanthemum
He knew, he couldn’t go on like this. He knew, Daisuke would want him to stay alive. He knew, and still the trip to the Motomiya apartment felt like walking to a different kind of funeral.
The petals started coming up as soon as Daisuke answered the door. He wheezed out, between each labored eruption onto the genkan floor, how much he loved Daisuke, how special he made him feel, how he wanted to fall asleep and wake up with him every night, closer and closer.
It didn’t hurt anymore, when he was finally done, all his secrets scattered onto Daisuke’s floor and into his cupped hands as he caught some of the pure white fluttering petals.
And then Daisuke spoke. “Can I kiss you?”
As out of words as he was, Ken responded with frantic nods that Daisuke stilled with both hands as he replaced all the flowers ripping him up and tainted air.
He never thought this was how this would end. Nearly everything he’d read seemed to think Daisuke couldn’t reciprocate.
None of that mattered anymore while tasting Daisuke’s lips, for the first time in ages not smelling the sickly scent of flowers on his own breath.