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English
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Part 2 of genshin impact
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Published:
2021-06-09
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2,658
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1/1
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even in death

Summary:

he was yours

Notes:

tysm bones for beta-reading ily<3

Work Text:

There was one well-kept secret of Wangshu Inn - the Vigilante Yaksha and his Lost Love. A story known by few, passed on as myth and legend, a story for young lovers and those who yearned for heartache. They knew not the same Yaksha that listened to those who told the story, hidden away with watchful eyes. They knew not how he longed to relive those days - the first hello, the first touch, the first time he’d laid himself bare and accepted the fact he was loved. They knew not how his heart yearned - to return to the days where he’d not felt like a monster, when he wasn’t alone anymore.

 

The Yaksha had heard the story so many times, he could tell it word-for-word, going against the best storyteller and not forgetting a single one. But there were details they always missed, things only He would know. Perhaps that’s why he never bothered to correct them  - he was allowing himself to be selfish, to keep a part of his lover to himself. To be the only one with the memories of such intimate moments. But as time began to war on, he feared that one day he would forget these details. And then, his love would truly be lost to time. This could never come into play, even if he had to fight fate himself.



-



The way every storyteller begins the myth is that you were a lost traveller, hiding away from treasure hoarders, alone and afraid of the dangers that awaited you. But Xiao knew better. He could still remember when you’d stumbled into the inn, scaring Verr Goldet as she lept to help you. You’d been bruised and bloody, but otherwise well as she assured you weren’t going to suddenly expire on the floor of the inn. Xiao could still remember how he’d simply observed from his spot, hidden from sight, yet prepared to spring into action at a moment's notice. It wasn’t that he didn’t care that a human was hurt, he was a protector of Liyue and its people, but he didn’t want to make the situation worse.

 

He’d only dismissed himself from the scene when Verr Goldet made eye contact with him, minimally shaking her head in the signal that action from him wasn’t needed. Normally, he’d want nothing to do with humans, especially guests who he’d likely never see again, but there’d been something about you. Something that drew him to you, something that called out with the sweetest of temptations, promising everything good and wonderful and repenting. But he could not afford to be selfish in such a manner. And thus he vowed to keep his distance.

 

The Yaksha prided himself on his word, it was his contract, but there was something about you that just… tempted him. Every time he was idle, his mind would stray to you, wanting so desperately to simply bask in your company. And it confused him - quite deeply, at that. Never in all his years of existence, had he felt like this. He felt… connected … to you. As if tied by a string. And maybe if he were a few hundred years young enough to be foolish, he would’ve believed that fate was finally being kind to him. But kindness would never be in the cards for someone like him.

 

With hands stained red from the blood that spilled, his tongue weighed down heavily with every dream, his eyes haunted by all those he fell. Kindness was the last thing Xiao deserved - or so he believed.



-




The first time he’d actually properly met you, was when you were out adventuring. Looking for glazed lily’s, he’d later find out, and you seemed quite content with the task. But there was a feeling, nestled deep in his chest, that demanded he simply sit and watch over you - like a shepherd with his sheep. And it was when he was reclined against the tree, one foot lazily propped on the branch he sat on with polearm across his lap, that you finally called out to him.

 

“You, who sits in the tree!” you’d playfully yelled, “does this lily look close to bloom?”

 

Eyes of liquid gold had simply observed you, eyebrows knitting together in slight confusion before his eyes fell to the flower. “No.” he’d called back, just loud enough to be heard. He continued to observe you as you hummed, nodding your head along as if in agreement with him. And when you turned to look at him, it was as if Barbatos himself stole the air from his lungs. There was a sense of familiarity to you, as if he’d known you in another life, and it was driving him mad.

 

Because when your gaze met his own, it felt like his heart was beating for the first time, and it absolutely terrified him.



-



He’d hidden himself away after that, not wanting to risk bumping into you again and being subjected to that… knowing gaze. It was as if you could see through him - and for some reason, that absolutely terrified Xiao. Burdened by emotions not entirely his own - guilt, sadness, rage - he was scared to get close to anyone, to let them in enough to see his darkness. But a part of him screamed, it was wailing and crying that it just knew you’d not turn away. That you would understand, you would accept him, you would be his guiding light. But he was scared. And he hated the feeling of being afraid - it made him feel helpless. And being helpless was the last thing he would ever be. Not after Rex Lapis had given him his freedom, not after the thing’s he’d done in the name of a cruel god.

 

But… you didn’t seem to fear him. You didn’t flinch or flee from his gaze, you simply accepted it. He was… puzzled. Yet, he was also grateful. Though his bones were stained in sin, cold in loneliness and soaked with blood, you’d not once expressed fear of him. It was…

 

Freeing .



-




The longer you stayed at the inn, the stronger Xiao’s urge became to approach you. It confused him - just why did he want to be in your presence so badly? What was it about you that made him act such a fool? Your prolonged presence was what finally drove him from the inn, spending many hours kneeling at the statue of Rex Lapis and praying. He prayed until his tongue was numb and his knees were bruised - yet, he never received an answer. It was not for the first time he found himself alone, but this time, not even the Geo Archon listened to his cry for help.

 

He wanted to drive you out, to make you go away, he wanted peace. He didn’t want to feel these emotions anymore, they were confusing and clouded his mind. He could only sigh as he looked out at the land surrounding the inn, gaze tired as he wanted so badly to sleep. Nightmares were what kept him awake, he could remember when he actually liked sleeping, but now it was tainted. Emotions weren’t the only thing that haunted him, memories were just as bad. And it was recently, the nightmares were getting worse.

 

Blank faces are now replaced by your own, and somehow, this hurts him more. He does not want to be attached to you, he does not want to care for you as much as he does. It is every night that he sees your teeth stained red with blood, your handprint staining his cheek as you cradle his face one last time. And like many others, you take your last breath in his arms. But unlike the others, this nightmare is not based entirely in reality. Yes, many have died because of him, but never have they passed in his arms.

 

And unfortunately, those nightmares are the most frequent, and thus he finds himself sometimes too tired to even move.



-



It’s one such night of tiredness that he finds himself haunting the kitchen, resting at the small table, his arms folded and face hidden in them. He sighs deeply as he tries to resist the sweet temptations of slumber. Time does not register to him, as he sits in the kitchen hidden away, and he can already feel the beginnings of a nightmare. His chest hurts and he finds it hard to breathe, his arms refuse to move and he can already smell iron in the air. He doesn’t think he can survive looking into your dying eyes one more time. And just when he seems at the edge of the void, one step away from falling into his personal hell, he is whisked away.

 

Even in the realm of sleep, he knows he isn’t alone. He can sense the presence of another person in the kitchen with him, but he senses no hostility. If anything, he feels… safe . A familiar, comforting scent overpowers the iron, the chill of sweat from fighting such harsh battles is washed away by the warmth of a blanket resting over his shoulders. He can distantly smell tea being brewed - something floral and soft. His tongue aches to have just a single taste of it. He does not open his eyes, even when he is very much aware. Even when he can hear the cup being set down in front of him, he doesn’t move.

 

Xiao doesn’t need to see to know who is being so gentle with him. You occupy his thoughts enough that he could recognize you in the waking world in a heartbeat. To think the feared and respected Vigilante Yaksha would yearn in such a fashion, it was almost laughable if not for the safety he felt when gazed upon by those familiar eyes.




-




The myth would continue with countless tales of the small acts of kindness the Yaksha would receive from his Lover, from plates of almond tofu to simply keeping him company in the darkest of nights. Inevitably, comparisons would be drawn between them. Very few Xiao actually agreed.

 

The Yaksha - the polearm, friend, moon.

The Lover - the shield, ally, sun.

 

Apart, they were strong - together, they were unstoppable.

 

This, Xiao could not deny. When he’d finally let you further into his life, accepting his fate and placing his heart in your hands, he’d learned you were as calculating and dangerous in battle as Rex Lapis during the archon war. It was not a comparison many dare to make, but he’d been at your side - standing back to back with you, polearm in hand, as the two of you protected blindspots on the battlefield. And all he could truly think about in those moments was that you needed him, and thus he would give you all he had.

 

And as much as they spoke about your prowess on the battlefield and your first meeting, they also spoke of how you’d ‘tamed’ the Adepti, calling his heart your own. But Xiao knew better. You’d simply loved him so deeply, so strongly and passionately, that he’d not dare think of himself as a monster in your presence. To do so would be deemed an insult of your affections.




-




Xiao had never felt closer to Celestia in his life, head nestled against your chest and your fingers tangled in his hair, blanket haphazardly thrown over the both of you. He craved affection in the simplest of ways, and it was that affection you gave freely. Even when the two of you sat under the stars, stars Xiao hadn’t looked at in years, he’d never felt anything else other than the serenity of being wrapped in your love. With one of your hands tangling with his own, the other holding his chin as you peppered his face with kisses, you’d only look at him with absolute adoration.

 

“Promise me something,” you’d once whispered against his lips, looking into the eyes that held everything you loved, the eyes of your Adepti. “Anything.” he’d whispered back, throat tight as he looked at the only thing that mattered to him, his entire world that kissed his lips. “ Live for me. Even when the world seems against you, even when I’m gone , I want you to live.”

 

It was a selfish thing you’d asked of him, to ask an immortal to live, but it was you. And he would have done anything for you - even if it meant destroying himself for eternity. He could still remember how in that moment, he struggled to nod, to agree to this unspoken contract. He would live - for you. And only for you.

 

And he could still remember how safe he felt, you in his arms and voice filling his ears. He’d never felt more loved in his life than in that moment, when you explained the stories behind the constellations, when you named a star after him and declared it your favorite. And it was that moment he understood why you felt so familiar, why he loved you as deeply as he did.

 

Since the beginning of time, long before this world was created, your souls had danced together in Celestia - intertwined by threads made from the stars themselves. And no matter the distance between you, he knew he’d always find his way back.




-



But like every good thing Xiao had ever experienced in his long life, it had to come to an end. This was always his least favorite part of the myth. Where the Vigilante Yaksha truly lost his Lover.

 

Your fate did not end in blood, it was not violent or gruesome. No. You deserved better than that. With the curse of immortality came the curse of time, and with time came sickness. As an Adepti, human ailments did not affect him, but they did you. You were strong, and you fought a valiant battle, but it was a battle you fought unaided. He could see it in the way you moved, the way your eyes didn’t crinkle when you smiled. You were tired. It wasn’t a tired he could fix.

 

But you were still a warrior, even at heart, and you would not go gentle into the good night. No, you wanted to spend your last night with Xiao, and you wanted to make it one to remember. Much like a bird performing a swan song with only itself to hear, you wanted to spend just one more night under the stars. And Xiao was with you until the end. He knew, even when the stars began to dot the sky, you would not live to see the sunrise. And as he closed his eyes, hand entangled with your own, he could almost pretend that you would.

 

This was your last defiant strike - to look upon the heaven with your last dying breath, your lover at your side, and dare the stars to shine their brightest even if for just a fleeting moment. And Xiao couldn’t help but think that, perhaps in a softer world, you’d have your own constellation. But as he looked into the late night sky, not yet ready to accept the inevitable, he gazed upon the star that shined next to his own. Immortality was a curse, but your name would live on, stitched into the heavens alongside his own.

 

Xiao was yours, even in death.




-





The ending of the story will change depending on who you ask - some say the Adepti went mad in his grief, locking himself away from the world for all of eternity. Others say that he still haunted the inn, watching over the lovers of Liyue. But if you asked the man that worked at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, he would tell you that on nights where you could see every star in the sky, you could see the Vigilante Yaksha looking at the star named after his lover.

 

And if you asked the Adepti himself? He would look down upon you and say,

“... What a shadow I have become .”

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