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Bilbo’s orange and cranberry muffins were known to end wars.
Well, that’s what his regulars boasted to any who would listen. Lightly dusted with powdered sugar and baked to golden perfection, they were a hot commodity at “There And Back Again,” or TABA as most folks affectionately called it. Inherited after the death of his mother, Bilbo’s modest little bakery claimed the perfect spot, tucked neatly into a little corner of the Oak Village shopping center.
With the coming of the Durin family, business exploded leaving Bilbo with more money than he knew what to do with most days.
“Hey Bilbo, can we take some of these back to the Mountains?”
Fili and Kili worked at the tattoo shop two blocks down and whenever they weren’t busy giving their boss Dwalin hell, they were eating Bilbo out of house and home, so to speak. It didn’t help matters that Bilbo gave them “discounts” whenever they stopped by and that those discounts roughly translated to “free.”
“Only if you return with some of your mother’s tea,” Bilbo called over his shoulder before disappearing into the back room where his only employees Tauriel and Legolas were finishing up their infamous mint brownies.
“Deal!” Kili shouted and the tinkling of the bell let Bilbo know they had fled to the coffee shop next door.
The “Blue Mountains” opened six months prior and brought with it some of the best tea and coffee Bilbo had ever had the pleasure of ingesting.
There had been some initial fear of competition on the sweets front, but after Bilbo came in early one morning to see two men caked in thick flower and bits of icing from head to toe his fears were quickly (and humorously) dispelled. The loud swearing added to Bilbo’s confidence as well.
The owner, Dis Durin, was the first to extend a hand in friendship to her shop neighbor after the sweet smell of successful baking wafted in through her front door. Her brothers Frerin and Thorin were quick, though reluctant, to follow.
“We’re going to have to start charging them at some point,” Legolas pointed out when they returned to the front to see the display case absent of all six lemon bars.
Tauriel laid a comforting hand on Bilbo’s sagging shoulders and tried to console him.
“Or at least place a limit on how much they can take per day.”
Before Bilbo could reply, the soft chimes of the front bell stole his train of thought.
“I see my nephews have pillaged your baked goods again. My apologies Mister Baggins.”
Thorin Durin was unlike any man Bilbo had ever met - gifted a gruff exterior with a soft, squishy interior. Thorin was constantly causing Bilbo problems: Problems of the blushing and stammering nature and other such embarrassing things. Thankfully, or rather quite the opposite of that, Thorin neither noticed nor cared that Bilbo was suddenly reduced into a love-struck teen whenever he came around.
Bilbo prayed Thorin didn’t hear Tauriel’s poorly disguised giggle at his expense and cleared his throat to regain some semblance of decorum.
“Yes, well it’s really no trouble Mister Durin – they more than make up for it with the clientele they send my way.”
After every piercing and inking, Fili and Kili both made sure to send their customers to TABA so they might replenish their blood sugar levels.
“Nonetheless, with appetites like theirs it’s a wonder they haven’t forced you into bankruptcy.”
“Who says they haven’t?” Legolas muttered and Bilbo elbowed him sharply in the ribs when Thorin’s eyes widened.
“He’s joking. Honestly it’s quite alright.”
As if sensing that they were the subject of conversation, Fili and Kili flung open the door, careful not to spill the drinks they’d begged their mother to make.
“Hello Uncle!” Kili exclaimed and made his way to the front counter to hand Tauriel her usual chia spice with a pinch of nutmeg.
Tauriel flushed when he presented it with a wink and she swiftly fled to the back room without so much as a ‘thank you.’
Kili sighed, “I think she likes me.”
Bilbo snorted at the soppy smile on Kili’s face and thanked Fili for his tea. Legolas echoed the sentiment before turning to Bilbo.
“I’m going to grab the muffins and then head over to the Greenwood.”
Legolas split his time between working with Bilbo and his father Thranduil at the flower shop across the way. He often hid away at TABA whenever Bard, a volunteer at the local YMCA, showed up to flirt with his father amongst the petunias.
“What kind of muffins?” Kili inquired innocently and Thorin cuffed him lightly on the back of the head.
“I think you’ve taken enough of Mister Baggins’ goods for one day.”
“Yeah well someone’s got to take some of his goods since you won’t,” Fili muttered loud enough for Bilbo to hear and suddenly he’s choking on his spit and waving away a concerned Thorin. He manages to glare through his tears at Fili who just looks at the wall and pretend to admire the art that’s hung there for the past four months.
Kili’s laughter is cut short by Dwalin, who storms into the bakery with Ori hot on his trail.
“You two idiots are supposed to be opening the shop – not stuffing your faces with the baker’s sweets.”
Bilbo’s face goes from apricot to cheery so fast he’s afraid his face is going to spontaneously combust and Fili and Kili’s howls of laughter do little to soothe him.
“That’s enough you two. You’re going to give poor Bilbo an aneurysm and then who is going to feed you?” Ori scolds.
Almost immediately Fili starts to apologize and Kili begs Bilbo not to die and leave him with the tasteless treats his mother and uncles force into his poor stomach.
“I’m not going to die,” Bilbo wheezes, “but you two just might if Dwalin has anything to say about it. I suggest you two get to work before I’m forced to use your remains in my meat pies.”
Silence falls over the store and Bilbo fears his dark humor has ruined the mood before Dwalin bursts, loud gales of amusement startling them all.
“Now I see it!” he crows, smacking Thorin’s shoulder before snatching Fili by the scruff of his neck and glaring at Kili. Kili immediately follows, casting an alarmed look over his shoulder to Bilbo who shrugs in apology.
“The usual Ori?”
Thorin steps aside to allow Ori access to the front counter and he watches Bilbo gather the order of the Ri brothers. If Bilbo feels Thorin’s eyes on him, which he most certainly does, he doesn’t show it and it’s not until Ori has bid him and Thorin both goodbye that he finally looks over to where Thorin is standing.
“Is there, uh, something I can get you?”
Bilbo tries not to fidget beneath the sapphire gaze that seems to set his blood aflame and he’s about the repeat the question when Frerin interrupts.
“Sorry to cut this little awkward dance short, but I must steal my brother from you for a little bit. Bye Bilbo!”
Bilbo watches in shock as Thorin is yanked rather violently out of his shop and quickly disappears from sight. It’s not until Tauriel and Legolas bring in the muffins that Bilbo realizes he hasn’t moved an inch in a good ten minutes – staring at where Thorin was and suddenly wasn’t.
“What an odd family,” he mumbles to himself and then helps Tauriel place the muffins in the display after Legolas hangs up his apron and reaffirms his promise to come in early the next morning to help with the chocolate croissants.
The rest of the day passes quickly until the sun has crept quietly behind the trees on the horizon and Tauriel has finished sweeping the front.
“You go ahead now Tauriel, I can finish closing up.”
“Are you sure?” she asks although she’s already handing Bilbo her apron with a sheepish grin.
“Absolutely. Go enjoy your night and I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch.”
Trying to hide her excitement at the sudden shift in her schedule, she thanks Bilbo before bounding out the door and nearly punching Kili in the face when he leaps out and surprises her. Bilbo can see her red cheeks from behind the counter and he doesn’t bother hiding his amusement when Kili runs after her, apologizing for scaring her.
He’s so caught up in Tauriel’s sharp reply that it takes Bilbo a minute to realize someone had come into the shop.
Bilbo doesn’t jump in surprise when Thorin clears his throat, but it’s a near thing.
“It’s not nice to sneak up on people you know,” Bilbo reprimands and Thorin snorts.
“I walked through the front door which you happened to be facing; I’d hardly call that sneaking. It’s not my fault you weren’t paying attention. It is a poor worker who does not notice when a customer has entered the store.”
Bilbo levels an unimpressed look at Thorin.
“Did you come here for something to eat or to give me business advice?”
Thorin chuckles, “What if I said neither?”
Bilbo pauses and turns to give Thorin his undivided attention.
His leather jacket shines underneath the warm lighting and Bilbo swallows a lump in his throat when he notes the way Thorin stalks towards the counter.
“I’d say what business does someone have in a bakery if they don’t want something sweet to eat?”
It’s a miracle Bilbo’s voice doesn’t shake, but when Thorin places both hands on the counter and leans in, Bilbo doubts any miracle is going to save him from the lightheaded sensation that’s suddenly making itself known.
“I never said I didn’t want something sweet to eat,” Thorin purred.
His words hung in the air and it wasn’t until Thorin decided to wink that Bilbo lost it.
Peals of laughter could be heard three stores down and when passersby looked into the bakery they could see tears streaming down Bilbo’s face.
Thorin froze and then turned around to flee, but Bilbo reached out and latched onto his jacket.
“Hold on, give me a moment. God Thorin that was awful. Did Frerin tell you to say that?”
Thorin watched Bilbo try to collect himself and fail several times before he sighed and admitted that Dwalin suggest the line, Frerin told him to wink. That sent Bilbo off into another fit of hysteria and Thorin grudgingly stood by and took it all with the grace all Druin’s possessed.
This is to say, he didn’t take it well.
“I did not think you would be so cruel in your rejection Mister Baggins.”
That sobered Bilbo up pretty quickly and he rolled his eyes at Thorin’s dramatics.
“You can hardly expect me to keep a straight face when you come in here dressed like the cover of a vampire romance novel and imply that I am a snack on which you wish to dine." Bilbo wipes a bit of moisture from beneath his eye, "Honestly Thorin, cut me a little slack.”
Bilbo realized he was still clinging to Thorin’s jacket and he reluctantly let go when he realized Thorin wasn’t going to bolt. Thorin’s only response was to flush and Bilbo found himself completely powerless to do anything but coo internally. Taking pity on him, Bilbo walked around to the other side of the counter and flipped the open sign to close and turned to face Thorin whose cheeks had faded from red to pink.
“Now, how about you try again, but do it your way this time.”
Thorin looked up, eyes wide in disbelief, and when he realized Bilbo was serious he cleared his throat and reached out to grab Bilbo’s hand.
The heat from Thorin’s grip traveled past his fingers until Bilbo felt warm all over. Bilbo instantly knew he was going to say yes to whatever Thorin had to say before he’d even gotten a chance to say it. Bilbo's resolution must have shown on his face because Thorin’s eyes softened and he decided words were not necessary.
Bilbo leaned into the tender kiss, bringing his free hand to clutch Thorin’s hip and moving his body closer in hopes of stealing the warmth radiating from Thorin’s. He wasn’t sure whose mouth the whimper fell from when they broke the kiss, but Bilbo didn’t hesitate to pull Thorin back in.
Like all good things in Bilbo’s life, their kiss was interrupted by the peal of the bell and the shouts of cheer on the other side of the glass.
“Nori owes me twenty bucks!” Kili cheered and Fili turned to Dwalin with a wide grin on his face as Dwalin scowled and handed over a fifty.
Bilbo hid his face in Thorin’s chest, frame shaking with laughter and Thorin gestured rudely at his friends and family until Dis came to the rescue.
“Oh leave them alone you lot! Besides, you all owe me money. I told you none of your stupid advice would work so pay up.”
The cheers turned to grumbles and Dis cackled, fist full of bills, on her way back to the coffee shop.
“Want to get out of here?” Bilbo asks Thorin, low enough so no one else could hear and when Thorin nodded, Bilbo led him out the back door and they snickered all the way down the street when they heard Fili’s loud cry, “Hey, where did they go?”
Safe and sound in Thorin's car, Bilbo takes the time to buckle up before turning to stare at Thorin in disbelief.
“I can’t believe you thought Frerin and Dwalin’s advice warranted execution over your own gut.”
“I can’t believe those fools bet against Dis,” Thorin mused and Bilbo found himself laughing against Thorin’s lips for the first, and certainly not the last, time that night.