Work Text:
- Okay so we know the saying that if you get paid minimum wage you should not put in your maximum effort. Save your energy for where it is important.
- You do not put in your maximum effort. But you don’t half-ass stuff either. You want to look competent but not like a boot-licker. A fine line.
- You show up to work, wear the damn Taco Bell uniform, greet customers with a smile, et cetera, et cetera.
- Now this newly hired prick you were assigned to train has never heard of this little saying. No, he doesn’t overwork himself or give his 110%. He doesn’t do shit. He doesn’t even half-ass, it’s more like quarter-assing.
- His little name tag has a new sticker on it, so instead of “Dio” it says “DIO”?? He wears his polo shirt completely unbuttoned (bro it’s a POLO), as if he didn’t already wear a shirt too small so he can show off his physique. Nice, but at the moment you’re more focused on ‘can you do basic tasks’. The answer is no, no he can’t.
- Well. He can. And he can do them impossibly fast (as in the literal blink of an eye), but he just doesn’t want to.
- What he does want to do is look down on everyone around him. And piss your manager off. And talk about himself to anyone who is tired enough to just let him.
- And yet your manager wouldn’t fire him.
- Since you two worked at a Taco Bell in the middle of nowhere and your customer numbers are so low, it’s usually just you two and sometimes your manager. So the burden of doing everything and listening to this ridiculous green-lipsticked fool fell to you.
The moment your manager went into their office after doing a single task, Dio turned to you with a grin. You continued scrubbing the counters, hoping he would just let you work. He stalked over to you in his usual manner, and spoke loudly, although he was trying for a conspiratorial tone.
“Do you want to gaslight our manager by drinking all the baja blast out of the fountain while I, DIO, stop time, so they think they didn’t refill it?”
You looked up at him with an incredulous look on your face. “Uh, no, I don’t wanna drink that much baja blast. Do you?”
He paused, looked to the side (at the fountain) to consider this. An almost sincere look of happiness came over his face when he looked at it. “Yes. I do. Will you at least have some with me?”
You were a little (only a little) touched at this and said you would. You put your rag down to watch him intently. Let’s see this time-stop trick you’ve experienced the effects of. You tried to maintain eye contact with him, but you must have blinked and he was gone. Now he was behind the counter, checking the receipt printer. On the counter next to him was a giant fountain drink of the aforementioned baja blast. How the f-
He called your name to get your attention again. “Come and drink.” Did that self-satisfied grin ever fall from his face? Seeing his sharp teeth didn’t even faze you anymore. You obliged and came over to drink from the cup. His eyes were fixed on you.
After taking a few sips you walked over to the fountain and tried to fill the cup to the top again. The fountain was COMPLETELY out of baja blast. Nothin’. Nada. Zilch. Not even a drop. You walked back over to Dio and laughed excitedly.
“Holy shit, you actually did it.” He nodded, awaiting your praise. “Don’t you feel terrible right now? How are you not sick?” He laughed and told you that he,
Dio
DIO, could not be made sick by a simple soda. “Alright. I will admit, this is going to be hilarious.”
There it was. The praise.
- Your manager was dumbstruck at the fact that the baja blast fountain was EMPTY empty. Dio went in to ask them to fill up the fountain since it was really empty now.
- “I just filled it.” “Uh, (Y/N) said it’s completely empty.”
- They sighed and got up. When they gave the little (idk the name of it) lever thing a push to prove it was not empty, and nothing came out, their tired look fell off their face.
- You busied yourself immediately, and Dio sat on the counter to examine his nails.
- “Didn’t I just fill this up? I just walked out not ten minutes ago and filled this up.”
- You shrugged. Thank you customer service jobs for making you such a good actor. “I don’t know. I heard the door open but I was washing tables.” You looked to see what excuse he had.
- “I wasn’t paying attention.” Woah. Not even a lie.
- Your manager walked back into their office, probably to hide their mental breakdown.
- You and Dio burst into laughter once you were sure they couldn’t hear you.
“Alright,” you said between laughs, “I have no idea how in the world ,” His eyes flashed at this, which you failed to notice, “you managed that, but that was one of the best moments working here. Thanks, man.”
“It was my pleasure.”