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No matter where I look, the days have passed me by
Nothing but you're the part of me—
Why did I fall in love with you,
No matter how much time passes, I thought you would always be here
. . .
It was almost midnight. The icy breeze howled all over the Red Force. Some of the redhaired's crewmates were still up on guard, but most of them were deeply asleep without a care of their worlds as they dreamt of their past adventures. Most of them had left the crew but some of them had stayed behind until the Captain would officially announce that the crew would be disbanded.
It was certainly a peaceful night, and for a certain Redhead which was the captain of the ship, the peace of the night was in contrast to his heart.
Stealing one of Lucky Roux's bottle, he got himself not really good booze but he thought it was enough to wash off that bitter taste in his mouth. Benn had told him to restrain himself with the alcohol because of his disease but the only that kept him from not breaking down was being in a total state of inebriation.
He walked out of his cabin to the deck sluggishly, his legs barely having the energy to stand up.
The frigid wind hitting his neck and bare chest, he shrivelled slightly and taking a sip from the alcohol, he felt his inside warmed up. He approached the front of the ship and sliding his back, he fell on his but and his eyes were fixed on the sky.
He smiled bitterly, a frown forming on his face and he took another sip, not tearing his eyes away from the sky even a second. For a split second, memories of his past flooded in his mind. He choked out a cry and it was faint yet it sounded as if his heart was breaking each second.
Taking another sip, he blinked feeling the little snowflakes melt on his face at the touch of his warm skin. He hugged himself, snowflakes now slowly covering the whole ship's deck and pilling on the top of his head. He let the empty bottle roll down, his hand falling onto the deck. He looked down, his vision now becoming blurry and he sniffled.
He licked his frozen and chapped lips and without even realising it, he thought of him again. The reminiscences of their childhood together, their time on the Oro Jackson, that stupid rivalry of theirs, flashed in his mind. His tears were flowing so hard that he couldn't control them.
He tried to take a breath, but it only felt like a choke. His throat felt narrow and the feeling of thorns in them made him hard to swallow. This time, his hand shakily went to this right pocket and he took a small dagger out. He stared at it for it seemed like an eternity and he pressed it tightly against his chest. He wondered how many decades had it been, how many had he realised he felt this way for him. But his cowardice ruined him.
He bit his bottom lips and he glanced at the sky, full of stars once again. But this time, he was laughing. He was laughing to ignore that feeling of someone stabbing his heart continuously. He felt like dying and giving up, but he was laughing. A laugh that filled the cold and lone air on the Red Force. It was a forced one. A bitter laugh.
He gripped the dagger in his hand and raising his arm fully, he let a snort escape, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. His gaze softened and his muscles relaxed. The pounding feeling in his chest hadn't seized but at that moment, he felt something different. It was calming and reassuring. He thought that maybe the stars were making him feel this way and then —
He tried standing up and with his wobbly body, he pressed it against the bow and his eyes were mesmerized by a very big and shining star. It reminded him of someone and he grunted,
''You always used to say you loved the stars and somehow now that I'm under them, I'm starting to adore them a little bit too.''
He sat down once again and eyes still fixed on that big and flashy star, he wiped his tears and his face full of sentimentality, he smiled,
''I find it funny that they seem to be shining a little brighter than usual. Maybe that's because you're one of them now.''
''You flashy bastard.'', He continued but it was a murmur and his back falling on the deck, he closed his eyes and somehow he found it strange that he could feel the big and flashy star watching over him.
Maybe—just maybe, if they were in another lifetime, where they would not be surrounded by the vile of the piracy world then just maybe,
He would finally be able to cradle him in his arms
It wouldn't be done as short as a second,
But this time he would hold him gently and they would finally be together,
Whispering those three simple words as they fall asleep in each other's arms.
''I love you.'', Shanks faintly murmured, slowly losing consciousness and a loving smile was plastered on his face, knowing that he would finally join his beloved blue-haired man.