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The first time they did it was the first anniversary of Aisha’s death.
Gat showed up at her door, already a half-drunk wreck, so she let him in and they drank their sorrows together. She woke up in bed the next morning, hungover, naked, and alone. When she saw Gat later at the crib, they exchanged a glance and nothing more. Neither one of them was coherent enough the previous night to remember much, but they knew what they did. For a while, the Boss felt like she had taken advantage of the vulnerable Gat and betrayed Aisha. She would look at Gat, searching his face and expecting to see anger. Instead he looked as he always did, and all he could talk about was his massive hangover. Eventually the two just brushed it off as a night of weakness and went on with their lives. In time, they even came to laugh about it. But there were still times when the Boss drank when her mind drifted to that night and she wondered what was said, or what Gat’s touch felt like.
The next time they did it was after the grand opening of the first Planet Saints store.
It had been quite a party, and the Boss was accompanying Gat back to his apartment. She hesitated while leaving, their eyes met, and before either of them knew it, Gat was removing the dress he had so admired all night as they stumbled to his bedroom. There was no alcohol this time. They could remember every touch, every twist of the Boss’ fingers in Gat’s hair, every kiss he placed on her neck. The next morning, the Boss went home and things carried on as usual. They didn’t want to have to justify it or explain it away, so they simply treated it as relieving tension. This wasn’t the last time this would happen. Over the years, when they were feeling lonely or stressed or just bored, they’d spend a night together, and then move along. They didn’t read any further into it, and even laughed about it. They didn’t tell anybody else, and they didn’t bring it up unless they were going to do it. They didn’t discuss how Gat would hold the Boss like he was afraid she’d slip away, or how the Boss would find excuses to stay in bed with Gat a little longer…
One time they did it, and it wasn’t real.
After Gat was believed dead, the Boss had dreams about their nights together often. In the dreams, she remembered his touch so vividly she held a glimmer of hope that it was real. But the dreams all ended with Gat leaving her and she would wake up with her arms reaching out for someone who wasn’t there, begging him to stay. The dreams eventually became less and less frequent, but every once in a while she spent a sleepless night crying out for Gat.
One time she dreamed it, and he was there.
The very last time she had the dream, she sat up, calling for Gat, and there he was. She reached out, held him, and knew he was real this time. She didn’t want to forget about it in the morning, she wanted to stay with him and know he would be by her side. Gat took her face in his hands and kissed her gently, and she knew there was no running from it.
She was in love with Johnny Gat.