Work Text:
"Where is he?" Mobius yelled as he pushed through the front double doors of the Nightmare Department.
"I, uh-" began a receptionist at the desk, having returned from their lunch break.
“I said where is he?" Mobius replied, in no position or desire to take his time finding his partner, before he could realise his anger was getting the best of him, he'd already reached over and grabbed the receptionist he was speaking to by the collar of their shirt, "Where the fuck is he?"
"Mobius M. Mobius, what are you doing here?"
Mobius looked up from his tirade at the receptionist; a shit brick house of a beast stood before him, tall and muscular and an expression that looked stern and dangerous.
"Where's my partner?" He asked in a low and dangerous tone.
“I don’t understand-”
“You took the wrong guy, idiot. I’m looking for a tall lanky guy, long black hair, British accent, he’s an agent for the TVA, not a fucking volunteer. Where is Loki?”
The second those words left Mobius’s mouth, the beast’s expression fell,
“Follow me.”
-------------------------------
"Loki, I'm attending a training event for the newest Minutemen recruits, apparently it’s training day central across the entire TVA and now it’s my job to join at the last minute to help review them, I’ll be gone for a few hours.”
“Really, what’s the event?” Loki replied.
The pair had a habit of staying in the same rooms or sitting by each other, and as of late the time they’d been spending together had increased tenfold: TVA Meetings, Lunch breaks, Assignments, Paperwork filing, even now Loki was sitting in an armchair in Mobius’ apartment reading a book whilst Mobius placed the apartment trying to fix his tie before leaving. It was mid-day (TVA time) on one of what was supposed to be Mobius’ rare days off, he was less than impressed as he practically ran through his apartment trying desperately to look for his shoes and briefcase whilst he finished straightening his tie.
“The TVA are setting up a fake Nexus event, the doorway leads straight into a simulation room here in the facility, they’ll have no idea. Goal is to see how they respond, if they do well they get to do actual fieldwork- Have you seen my shoes?”
“No.” Loki replied calmly as he turned to the next page of his book.
“Well, aren't you helpful? Never mind, I found them...” Mobius muttered under his breath as he quickly spotted his shoes under the coffee table, grabbed them and began shoving them on his feet.
“You can find solace in the fact I haven’t been wearing your shoes at least, otherwise I’d know where they went.”
“I’m so relieved, thank you so much.” Mobius replied sarcastically as he finished putting his shoes on. He stood up and rummaged around in his jacket to grab and check his Communicator only to see he was running late, well, late by the TVA’s standards. He let out a heavy sigh of frustration as he quickly checked his briefcase to ensure he had everything.
“Usually the sarcasm is my forte, Mobius-”
“Loki I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now, alright?”
“Excuse me, I’m trying to read, you walked in in a bad mood.” Loki retorted, which was seemingly the proverbial straw that broke Mobius the Camel’s back.
“No, you walked in.” Mobius began, briefcase on the floor and his hands one his hips, “This is my apartment, my apartment, don't you understand? I live here. Not you, just me, nobody else, yet it feels like you should pay rent because you never leave me alone! You’re always there, you're in the walls, in my chairs, in my bathroom, everywhere.”
“Mobi-”
“Loki, we’re practically attached at the hip and I can’t deal with that, not today. I was looking forward to a day off, sleeping late, doing something on my own and for myself but now the TVA decides it’s incapable without me-”
“None of that is my fault-” Loki began, rising out of the arm chair and setting his book to one side, no longer willing to take Mobius’ unusual temper and outburst any longer.
“It’s suffocating! Just give me one day, one day where I don’t have to deal with you and the TVA at the same time.” Mobius interrupted, rubbing his face out of stress after he did so.
“So you… Deal with me, do you?”
“Yes!” Cried Mobius, his anger and frustration refusing to settle even now.
For a moment there were quiet, uneasy quiet, as Loki processed the words that had been hurled at him full force. A grimace he tried to hide formed in his mouth, he had a glimmer of hurt in his eyes he tried to blink away, for a moment he showed he was hurt, but as quickly as the expression came it went and was replaced with a stoic and emotionless mask.
“Well then, I suppose I should remove myself from your sight, to avoid you dealing with me any longer, hm?”
Mobius didn’t respond, he wasn’t sure how to, he just knew his fuse had long blown. Loki shifted on the spot, almost as if he was hoping Mobius would suddenly change his demeanor, but he didn’t.
“I didn't realise my presence brought you such discomfort,” Loki muttered, eyes looking at his feet on the floor, “I’ll be sure to distance myself from now on.”
And with that, Loki left. The pair were silent as he showed himself to the door, quietly shutting it behind himself as Mobius stood there in the middle of his apartment, staring off into space as though he were trying to find his patience in a filing cabinet. When the door clicked, his mind seemed to click back into place also, his expression crumbled into regret as he kicked himself for his behaviour.
Shit… He cursed at himself as he rushed to the front door to catch Loki up, but in the seconds between Loki leaving and Mobius opening the door, the God of Mischief was completely out of sight. The long, long hallway outside of the apartment was bare of Loki’s physical presence it seemed. Mobius sighed, an alarm one his Communicator sounded, and he realised he had to go; he’d resolve what happened with Loki at the end of the working day.
-----------------------------
Mobius felt out of place, like he was physically in the room but mentally a million miles away. This was the first time he’d ever seriously argued with Loki over something so petty, and for it to be left unresolved like that didn’t sit right with him, not one bit. He stood amongst his peers as they watched the new Minutemen recruits handle the Nexus Event they’d been given, simulation or not, they believed it to be real and they were to be graded as thorough it were the real thing. The simulation had them in 1649, January 26th. The Night before Charles I’s official sentencing; the Nexus Event itself was that the jury and court would find Charles guilty of Treason, however would decide against executing him after a particularly persuasive Jury member offered arguments in favour of keeping the King alive. They were to capture this Jury member and return him to the TVA for a trial of his own.
Mobius wasn’t focused on watching the recruits, however, his mind swimming with guilt over the way he’d treated Loki just hours prior. Every time he thought about their argument, a sour pit arose in his throat that made his chest seize up for a moment.
So you… Deal with me, do you?
Yes!
He stopped himself from physically wincing at his own remark. He was stupid. Yes he was stressed, yes he was incredibly tired, yes he saw Loki constantly but the latter wasn’t something he’d ever hated; if anything Loki’s usual demeanor and wit provided respite from the usual doom and gloom of the work he used to do when it was just him. His work, of late, at least felt like it had more meaning to it; like he was passing on some sort of great knowledge to his partner (he might have worked for the TVA but that didn’t stop him from feeling like a small worker bee at times).
“Agent Mobius.”
Like a sharp click of someone’s fingers, his name being called brought him mentally back in the room.
“Yes ma’am?” he asked as he turned to face his co-worker, well, superior. She dressed neatly, forever in a pencil skirt and blazer combination, in some shade of purple that always suited her complexion; he wouldn’t be surprised if she owned dozens of copies of that exact same outfit in her wardrobe.
“You seem out of sorts?”
“No ma’am, just a bit tired is all, just like the rest of us.” he replied, a smile on his face plastering over his anxieties from earlier.
“Well, your work here is done, we wanted you here to view the candidates in advance for when you work with them directly in person. Give you an opportunity to have a read of them before you try them out in the field for real. They show promise.”
“They do, I’m sure they’ll be great.”
“Indeed. Now, feel free to clock out, I understand you lost your day off for this, so I don’t want you back in till tomorrow night.”
“Thank you ma’am, enjoy the rest of your day.” Mobius replied, and with that, he left the simulation viewing room and reentered the long linoleum hallways of the TVA. Usually when he finished work he’d go to the communal area or a vending machine and grab a drink, but today he headed straight back to his apartment; half hopeful that Loki broke in ready to fight his own corner, or to sulk, or to do something as long as he was there.
He wasn’t surprised to find Loki wasn’t there, but he was slightly disappointed given his hopes of finding him there.
It’s fine, he’s probably in his own apartment. Mobius said to himself as he locked his front door again and began walking to Loki’s apartment complex. The two, although forever working together, were different ranks. Loki’s apartment was by no means bad, but it was easy to see it wasn’t as cushy as Mobius’. That information aside, around twenty or so minutes later he found himself outside Loki’s front door, he knocked loudly three times and waited but received no response.
“Loki, it’s me, Mobius. I’ve come to apologise for being an ass.”
No response. No surprise there, Loki was most definitely pissed off with him.
“Loki, I want to talk about what I said this morning? I was wrong, can you open the door please?”
No response. This was getting a bit ridiculous, passers by were beginning to notice.
“Loki, I just want to talk. Can you at least tell me to go away, so I know you’re there?”
No response.
Mobius let out a sigh, he didn’t want to resort to this but Loki’s silent treatment was making him more uneasy. Given he was once his handler, Mobius still owned a skeleton key that allowed him to unlock Loki’s front door; he hadn’t had to do so before, but there was a first for everything. He unlocked the door and gently pushed it forward, hoping he’d see Loki come barreling towards him making some sort of sarcastic comment about him breaking and entering. He called out Loki’s name as he took his first step into the threshold of the apartment. For a moment he stewed in the realisation he’d never actually been to Loki’s apartment before now, but pushed it to one side as he made his way further into the apartment.
“Loki! A response would be nice. I know you’re mad, I understand why you’re mad. But can we at least had a chat about it? Talkie talkie and all that-”
He wasn’t in the living room. He didn’t know why that unsettled him so quickly but it triggered some sort of panic response that made him feel Loki wouldn’t be anywhere else in the apartment. He was right: not in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, hell he wasn’t even hiding in the small walk-in closet he had. Loki wasn’t here full stop.
Now he was really getting worried.
-------------------------------
Loki was annoyed, he’d just been thrown out by the one person he more than tolerated at the TVA. Even that was putting it lightly. He could tell it was Mobius in a bad mood taking it out on him, he hadn’t done anything to Mobius to deserve that, he was just sitting there reading and minding his own business and not wearing Mobius’ shoes (how else was he meant to have known where they were?) and then he had to blow everything out of proportion and aim it at him? No. That was wrong. It couldn't have been genuine, just a hot flash of anger he got caught in the crossfire of, he'd done it to countless others, it was just unusual for him to be on the receiving end. Didn't stop him from being pissed off the situation, not one bit. He was so angered, he wasn’t even concentrating on where he was going, so caught up in his thoughts that he barely realised he’d entered the elevator at the end of Mobius’ hallway and slammed down on the buttons. There and then, he didn't care what floor he ended up on, he just wanted to be on his own.
So you… Deal with me, do you?
Yes!
Loki couldn’t help but wince. It couldn't have been genuine, could it? Was he that overbearing without realising? Desperate for connection or even something as painfully simple as company?
He remained glassy eyed and disconnected from his surroundings until he heard the elevator ping and it’s doors slide open to reveal the floor he was on. Floor 13? He hadn’t been here before, although to be fair, he never usually strayed from his department, his own apartment or Mobius’s place. He stuck his head out of the lift to look around, it seemed pretty empty but it had a similar layout to the reception area of his department. Hesitantly, he took a few steps out and onto the floor. The walls and floor where an uneasy mix of grey and moss green, the linoleum floor seemed to have lost it’s shine years ago, empty photo frames were hung along the walls and the hallways seemed to be filled with flickering light bulbs missing their shades. Now stood in the middle of the reception floor, Loki realised where he was;
Damn , he thought to himself, I think it’s time for me to go.
He promptly spun one his heels to go back to the elevator only to nearly crash in to a Goliath of a man that was blocking his only exit out: he must’ve stood nearly 7 feet tall, his head nearly scraping the ceiling implied as much, his skin was a pale red all cracked and patchy and covered in scars and either his pupils were entirely blown or his eyes were completely pitch black all the time. He was nothing like Loki had seen from his own department, and looking at the fact he was dressed in a charcoal ensemble of a button up shirt and trousers (which looked unusual given his frame), had to be someone that worked on this floor.
“Well look at you, I was wondering if the TVA were sending us our volunteer at all!” The beast said, letting out a bassy laugh as he clapped Loki round the shoulder and began leading him down the hallway.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Now, don’t get your panties in a twist princess, I’m sure it’s not your fault. The TVA is hardly reliable during these training days.”
“Training?” Loki repeated, growing more confused by the second, “I’m not here to train anyone-”
“Of course not! That’s my job. You’re already doing great at complaining and seeming helpless and confused, keep it up and our recruits aren’t going to be able to tell this is a set up.”
“I’m extremely lost.”
“Oh, my bad, we’ll be taking this next left and straight in for the simulation. I’m surprised you seem so animated, we always use the machine for real during these events, so most of the volunteers are pale as ghosts walking with me! Though I suppose you’re pale enough already.” The beast joked, letting out another deep laugh, his hand still clasped around Loki’s shoulder as they walked the hallways together. There was a bad feeling in Loki’s stomach that was only getting worse with every step he took, he felt like his chest and spine were pulsating from how hard this guy had hit him in the back.
“I, uh, I shouldn’t be here, I don’t know who you are or where this is- I need to make a phone call before this goes any further-”
“I’m Lenny, you and I are going to be friends, everything’s going to be just fine! Also communication devices don’t work on this floor, which adds to the drama when it’s the real thing.” The beast, who seemed to be called Lenny, replied loudly before bending down to speak quietly in Loki’s ear, “That’s good, really play it up as we go inside, great idea having them hear you from outside, just like the real thing! Keep it up.”
“I really think there’s been a mistake, I’m really important and if they find out I’m here they aren’t going to like it, you need to let me go-” Loki argued as Lenny pushed open a set of double doors, the giant then shoved him hard to the centre of the room where Loki looked up to find himself completely surrounded by what must have been new Nightmare Department Recruits.
Loki looked around to see a dozen or so pairs of eyes staring back at him, their eyes near enough glowing in excitement, the more he looked around him he spotted a machine in the corner of the room, as he laid eyes one it, Lenny wheeled a chair over: it had braces one the arms rests and legs as restraints, and what looked like electrode pads that were to be stuck to whoever was unfortunate to find themselves sat in the seat. Loki’s usually stoic appearance was beginning to falter, just what had he managed to get himself into now?
“Alright guys.” Lenny said as he locked the double doors behind him, “Your first bit of fresh meat as Terror Agents here at the Nightmare Department.”
-----------------------------------
Mobius was worried, he looked everywhere: both of the apartments, the communal staff area, he’d even gone to Casey to see if Loki was hiding with him but to no avail. The man’s Communicator wasn’t picking up, he had no intel as to where Loki would have gotten to, all he could feel was concern bordering onto complete panic. There’s no way Loki could've gotten out of the TVA, so just where the hell was he? His next resort was to head to Security and review footage from the past couple of hours and see if he would spot Loki anywhere. Once he arrived outside Security’s door, he knocked and before waiting for a reply walked himself in.
“I need to look at your cameras, a co-worker of mine has gone missing.” Mobius stated, already making his way over to the main computer to pull up camera footage from different rooms, floors, this was the main Security room so they even had access to the other departments footage. The security worker didn’t speak, simply rolled his eyes and gave way for the over tired Agent to take control of his computer and do what he wanted with it, hell, he was Security, it’s not like he got paid to care that much.
With the Security worker out of the way, Mobius spent the next fifteen or so minutes quickly scrolling through footage from outside his own apartment, Loki’s apartment, and their department floor. He couldn’t see Loki walking any of the hallways besides the one he walked down after he left from their argument; Mobius could see he’d gotten into the elevator but that was as useful as a wet towel. Those elevators went to every floor and department in the TVA. Mobius wouldn’t have been surprised if those things went sideways as well as up and down.
“Shit…” Mobius muttered to himself. Not a glimpse of the guy after he got in that elevator, and he didn’t have access to his magic so it’s not like that was even an option. Mobius stepped back from the security computer, rubbing his face as he exhaled heavily, he was already this exhausted from the stress of finding Loki, he couldn’t think of what else to do.
Maybe if I check the apartments again, he may have went back to one of them whilst I’ve been out looking for him?
Mobius gave a small thank you to the security guard before he excused himself and left the room; he rested against the door after closing it behind him, closing his eyes for a moment as if doing so would offer comfort or rest. As he did so, he heard an argument brewing at the reception between Casey and another TVA worker from their department:
“I was promised to be repaid for volunteering with time off work, what do you mean there’s somebody else in there? I was the only one willing to raise my hand in the board meeting!”
“I’m really sorry sir, but they already sent the alert that the volunteer arrived at their department for the simulation.” Casey replied, fumbling about his desk trying to find paperwork he would at least read or find to clarify the situation.
“I’m the volunteer, Dipshit! I don’t even want to be there, I’m only desperate for a break from this stupid-” The supposed volunteer cried out as Mobius made his way over to the desk.
“Sorry,” Mobius uninterrupted, “can I ask what’s going on here?”
“Agent Mobius, finally someone useful. I’m the volunteer for this term's round of Nightmare Department recruits. Their simulations today, I’m meant to be in there but this fool at the desk is trying to tell me I’m already down there, that the volunteer is already inside. I know I’m running late but this is ridiculous, there can’t be two of me!”
For a moment Mobius allowed those words to wash over him, a sickly feeling grew in the pit of his stomach as the puzzle pieces in his head began to slot into place, his expression went pale as his brow furrowed, “No, there can’t be two of you, because it’s somebody else in there.”
“I know that-” The staff member stated.
“Casey, I need you to contact upper management, tell them there was a mix up in the volunteers, one of our Minutemen is currently in the Nightmare Department.” Mobius yelled, already running off the department floor and into the open elevator. He slammed down on the button that would take him to floor 13, Casey stood up from behind the reception desk.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting my friend back.” Mobius replied, the elevator doors shutting afterwards.
------------------------------
"Where is he?" Mobius yelled as he pushed through the front double doors of the Nightmare Department.
"I, uh-" began a receptionist at the desk, having returned from their lunch break.
“I said where is he?" Mobius replied, in no position or desire to take his time finding his partner, before he could realise his anger was getting the best of him, he'd already reached over and grabbed the receptionist he was speaking to by the collar of their shirt, "Where the fuck is he?"
"Mobius M. Mobius, what are you doing here?"
Mobius looked up from his tirade at the receptionist; a shit brick house of a beast stood before him, tall and muscular, his skin was red and he held an expression that looked stern.
"Where's my partner?" He asked in a low and dangerous tone.
“I don’t understand-”
“You took the wrong guy. I’m looking for a tall lanky guy, long black hair, well-spoken british accent, he’s a Time Agent for the TVA, not a fucking volunteer now where is he?”
The second those words left Mobius’s mouth, the beast’s expression fell, his lip almost seemed to quiver for a moment as the weight of the situation fell on him in a wave, he look at the ground for a moment, but knowing Mobius was stood there one front of him waiting for a reply, he knew he had to act quickly.
“Follow me.”
The two of them rushed their way down the hallway, the only reason Mobius wasn’t sprinting was because he had to follow this hulk of a beast to wherever they were keeping Loki, given the guy's size however, his run was just about keeping up with its jog. Despite their speed, every moment felt like they were inching closer and closer to it being too late, too late for what Mobius didn't know, but the fear in his gut was only bubbling more and more as time went on. He should’ve never thrown Loki out that day, this was his fault, Loki would never have ended up in this mess if he just hadn’t taken his own frustrations out on his one genuine friend in the department, hell, in the whole of the TVA.
Soon enough they came to a set of double doors, as the large beast unlocked them, Mobius saw a sign just to the left of the door frame that read “Temporal Terror Inducement Chamber”. The second the doors opened, Mobius pushed his way through them, entering the room that was filling with Terror Agent Recruits, his eyes immediately finding their way to where Loki was in the room-
Oh god.
No.
“Recruits, machine off, now! That’s an order.” The beast yelled, running over to the machine’s control panel himself.
For a moment after laying eyes on Loki, Mobius felt glued to the floor: his chest tight, mouth and throat dry, his eyes unwilling to blink or look away from the sight in front of him despite how desperately he wanted to, but quickly enough he found the strength to move, propelling himself over to Loki’s side. The sight in front of him was… Christ. Loki was there, contained within the chair, two electrode pads attached to his temples and two beneath his shirt (which attached to the machine), his forehead was covered in sweat, his face reddened from tears he must have shed, strands of his hair covered his face and stuck to his neck from the perspiration… But what stood out the most was his eyes and fingers: his usually green eyes had shifted to a deep red, and the tips of his fingers had gone an icy blue shade, Mobius hadn’t noticed this latter piece of information until he’d removed the restraints from Loki’s legs and arms and freed him from the chair. Loki was responseless, ragdoll like, his eyes glassy and glazed over, when the machine was fully turned off Mobius ripped off the electrode pads Loki was attached to in the hopes that it would bring him round, but nothing was resurfacing the God of Mischief from his catatonic state.
“What did you do to him?” Mobius cried out, trying to make Loki come to as he spoke.
The beast, Lenny, stepped forward, his head bowed before he spoke: “The machine is used by the TVA for non co-operative variants, those who were aware they were disrupting the timeline.”
“What did you do to him?” Mobius repeated, his emotions refusing to hold back.
“The machine creates nightmares, terrors, based on the variant’s own experiences or personal fears, every scenario and emotion amplified, to extract fear; whether they’ve happened already or are meant to happen or created in their own minds, for them it becomes real the entire time they’re in that chair. Temporal Time Punishment, it’s also referred to as.”
Fuck.
Mobius had heard of this through the name Temporal Time Punishment, the volunteers the TVA send never talk about their experiences because they're always transferred to a different department immediately afterwards. Nobody knew the full extent of how bad it was, most of them just knew it wasn't worth volunteering for. Looking at Loki the way he was, the state he'd been left in… it made his chest seize up entirely, he had to remind himself to breathe. Loki still wasn't coming to, still looking right through him and at some random point in the ceiling, his eyes still red, his fingertips still a pale blue shade, it was like he’d never been detached from the machine.
“How long did you keep him hooked up for?”
Lenny grimaced, knowing how bad the answer was going to sound, “Almost two hours, every recruit took a turn operating the machine, accessing a new memory to send through to his head. There was a 30 minute break but he was as unresponsive as he is now. If you get to somewhere to dowse him in cold water, that usually helps speed up the process of waking up-”
Not another word was uttered as Mobius took out his Communicator and opened up a doorway in the center of the room leading back to his apartment. He should have done this to enter the department as well but he was so rushed it barely came to his head he had his Communicator on him. After doing so, he lifted Loki’s limp body out of the chair and just about managed to haul him over his shoulders; it was a graceless rescue, but the TVA wasn’t about grace, and the situation currently didn’t provide it.
“Is there anything else we can do-” Lenny began, making his way over, perhaps to take Loki and carry him through the doorway for Mobius.
“Don’t touch him!” Mobius yelled, taking a step back, he glared at everybody in the room before his eyes landed back one Lenny’s, “You’ve done enough.”
With nothing more to say, Mobius made his way through the doorway, back to his apartment. He rushed to the bathroom, placing Loki on the floor of his shower before turning the cold water on full blast. He sat one the floor and placed Loki’s head in his lap, keeping the God’s head to one side to ensure water didn’t get in his blank, red eyes; he occasionally wiped off any excess water from his face. Mobius was freezing, but he didn’t care, he was created by the TVA to never get sick, his focus now was getting his friend back.
“Come on Loki, please, wake up…” Mobius muttered as he waited and hoped for the cold water to take effect.
------------------------------
Blink.
Loki looked around the room. Asgard? He was back in Asgard, his room specifically, it was enormous and covered in emerald green and gold splendor. His confusion didn’t stop him from breathing in the sweet smells of home, or rushing to his open window to look at the rest of the city below. Home. He was home. His world untouched and beautiful and… safe. He looked around, his mind immediately thinking of his mother, where was she? Where would he find her? He needed to apologise, needed to see her-
“Loki, darling.”
He spun on his heels to see his mother, Frigga, standing at the doorway of his room, as perfect as he remembered her to be. He rushed over, beaming and brimming with relief and excitement, all niceties aside as the overwhelming urge to hug her like he once did as a child overtook him, the pair of them stayed like that for a moment, in a tiny world of bliss, before he resurfaced from the embrace.
“Mother, you’re here, I- I don’t understand-”
“My dear boy,” Frigga began, cupping his face in her hands and stroking his cheeks with her thumbs as she did so, “you don’t have to. I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Mother, I saw what I did, what I’m about to do, I don’t know how to stop it but I want to. I want to apologise, I never wanted to hurt you, to hurt anyone, I didn’t. I swear, I’m sorry Mother.” Loki babbled, choking down the urge to grow tearful in the sight of the mother he thought he’d lost. The tape had to be wrong, there she was as real as the light in the sky, she couldn’t possibly be… He couldn’t possibly have hurt her. There she was!
“I saw so much, I thought I’d lost you, I thought it was my fault, I thought I’d doomed our family, I’m so sorry I didn't take your place-”
“Loki, my son, don’t you understand? It was meant to be, and it is your fault.”
Loki froze as the expression one his mother’s face shifted, flattened, deadpanned to a look he’d never seen her make before, “Mother?”
“As for your apologies…” Frigga began before inching her way closer and closer till there was any space between them, “The dead don’t forgive.”
Loki’s pupils shrank to the size of pinheads, his heart shook with his mother’s words as he watched a small trickle of blood come from the corner of her mouth, confused, he looked down only to see himself holding a long blade and his mother impaled on the end of it.
What? I wasn’t holding a knife, where- where did this come from, I would never, I couldn’t!
Frigga collapsed, Loki caught her as she fell and held her to him as she bled on the floor, the knife discarded as he went down with her, her frightful and intense gaze was unwavering; this wasn't his mother, it couldn’t have been, she’d never looked at him with such… hatred. But despite trying to tell himself, she was too real, too there for him to truly convince himself otherwise. The blood on his hands from trying to stem her bleeding was too warm to be a dream, too vivid to be made up.
“Mother, please, hang on.” Loki begged before looking up to see if anyone was nearby, “Guards!” he yelled, hoping there were sentinels on duty just outside that could help him save her.
But nobody came.
“Guards, please, my mother, save my mother!” He cried out again, tears falling from his face as the blood and Frigga’s staring ceased to stop, “Mother, stop this, this isn’t you, this can’t be you, tell me this isn’t real-”
“My sweet boy,” Frigga said flatly, as though she were being forced to call him such pleasantries, “You never learn do you? This is all your own doing… The one person in the world you knew had always loved you, and you threw me away.”
“No.”
“Killed me.”
“No!”
“Discarded me.”
“Mother-”
“You were never worthy of that hammer.” Frigga said, raising a hand to hold the side of Loki’s face, the contrast of her words and her motherly actions striking fear through Loki’s chest like a blade, “And you were never worthy of the love I gave you.”
Blink.
And he was somewhere else.
Over and over again this cycle repeated, the only thing that changed was the people he encountered: his mother, his father and brother, all dying because of him. He felt the searing blade of a Dark Elf pierce his chest, the burning sensation of death take over for what felt like an eternity whilst he watched his brother leave him to die, walking away with his love Jane instead. He felt the force of Thanos’ grip but couldn’t seem to die, forever in a cycle of waiting to hear that snap that had awoken him from many nights sleep in the past, for it to never come, and for his lungs to continue screaming for air before the explosion hit, leaving him paralysed and falling through inky space alone with nobody to find him. Over and over again his life and his memories were re-lived, going from memories burnt into a tape to those engraved in his mind, tapped out with a pick along the crevasse of his skull, ensuring the remainder of his sleepless nights would be filled with ghosts he'd never wanted to make.
Blink.
Then there was Mobius.
The room was completely white, the walls and ceiling, and when Loki opened his eyes and blinked away the brightness, he found himself curled up tightly in one of it’s four corners, hiding away despite being in a room where he would never not be seen. After his eyes adjusted, he looked and saw Mobius sitting in a chair at the other side of the room with his back facing Loki, his heart stopping as he realised… He didn’t know what would happen here. Everything else had come from a memory, or a memory that was meant to happen. This was, well, neutral. As he stood himself up, his brain couldn’t decide if this would lead to Mobius killing him, or something much worse.
“Mobius-”
“Loki.” Mobius said his delivery was flat, like Frigga’s had been, Loki shuddered slightly.
“I- I can’t control any of this, I can’t make it stop.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want any of this to happen.”
“I know.”
There was a brief moment of quiet as Loki tried to find what he wanted to say next.
“I… I’m scared, Mobius.”
This made Mobius turn around. Loki didn’t have the strength to do anything but watch as Mobius took steps towards him, one step at a time he closed the gap between them, but with every step Loki grew fearful of the outcome: what would happen when the distance was closed?
“Mobius, stop, don’t get any closer, I- I don’t want you any closer.” Loki argued, tears brimming in his eyes yet again, how many tears had he shed that day? Far more than he’d been allowed to in his lifetime. Had it even been a day? He couldn’t decide whether it was worse to have experienced all this over a long period of time or all at once. But Mobius kept walking over, “Mobius, I’m telling you to stop.”
But Mobius didn't listen, nor did he speak, he just kept on walking. When it felt like Mobius was far too close to be safe, Loki snapped, “Mobius, stop!” he yelled.
Two feet apart from each other, Mobius halted for a moment, allowing Loki to speak.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen here. I don’t want to kill you like the others, I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to lose your trust, I don’t want you to take another step toward me. Stay as far away from me as you can because it’s the only way I can guarantee your safety.”
Mobius didn’t reply.
“Because I don’t have this memory, this has never existed to me. I haven’t experienced this in any timeline. I don’t want to know what I could be capable of in this room, what my timeline will decide for me if you get any closer, I don’t want to know. And if that means being reset or whatever it is the TVA do to me for disobeying the timeline so be it, I can’t hurt anyone else Mobius, I can’t. I’m scared. So please, as my friend, just listen to me: go.”
The strain in Loki’s voice was audible, even cracking at one point whilst he spoke, he was tired in every way describable, but this right now was the breaking point he couldn’t bring himself to experience. Mobius stood there, looking both exactly and nothing like he really did, mute and staring back at Loki. The God's heart was in his throat, tears in his eyes once again, his body trembling with exhaustrion, the room though devoid of anything but it’s blank walls and floors felt like it was spinning. For a moment he closed his eyes and tried to catch himself from collapsing, upon opening his eyes he saw Mobius making his way toward him once again, and this time it was far too late to make him stop.
“Mobius, no!” he cried before feeling the warm and welcomed embrace of his friend take hold. He froze. This bit felt familiar. He waited for the inevitable bad ending to hit him hard, waited for what felt like a while, but nothing happened besides the warmth of Mobius’ hold spread across his body like a welcome fire after a snow storm.
“Loki, you won’t hurt me. And I won’t hurt you.” Mobius said softly.
That was enough for Loki’s heart to give way and he felt himself bring his arms up to hug Mobius back. The tears that had long brimmed in his eyes whilst in that room finally fell, his chest heaving as everything he saw came back in a flood of guilt and regret. For a long while, neither spoke whilst Loki sobbed, they only stood there, and when Loki’s legs gave in, Mobius fell to the floor with him, sheltering him till the time came for him to let go - but that time wasn’t close to arriving.
“You won’t hurt anyone, Loki. So it’s time to go back, alright pal?” Mobius said gently.
“What if it’s better I don’t? What if I stay here, where nothing can happen, nothing can go wrong-”
“We both know that can’t be a choice buddy, nobody was ever Neutral, that’s why the TVA even exists… Besides, I miss you, and the shower is freezing.”
“Shower?” Loki asked, pulling away from the hug to look at Mobius.
“Yeah, we’re in the shower right now, I'm trying to wake you up. You’re close, real close, but I need you right here and now to say you’re ready to go back. We can face whatever you’re gonna get handed to you together, sound good?” Mobius said with nothing but sincerity lining his voice.
Loki thought for a moment, the idea of forever staying here sounded almost blissful, but by staying here he also had to acknowledge that to a certain extent, the Mobius in the room with him wasn’t real; just like his mother, brother and father, all the other’s he’d faced, he wasn’t real. But the real Mobius? The real Mobius was waiting for him, expecting him to come back. He hadn’t stopped crying, but his thoughts were gathered enough to realise that he had to do the right thing.
“Alright Mobius, I’ll go back.” he said quietly.
“Good guy,” Mobius replied, offering a friendly half smile as he did, “always knew you would.”
Blink.
-------------------------
“Come on Loki, wake up for me, you can call me all those stupid names if you want. Moby, Moby Prick, Dimwit, Fool, all of them, just, please wake up...”
The first thing Loki felt was the sensation of cold water on his face, that and what felt like a very bright light that shone on him from the ceiling, the water was coming down hard, he must still be in the shower he thought to himself as he blinked away the water that was falling in his eyes from the shower head. He went to sit up but his body ached and screamed at him to stay still, he stifled a groan of pain as Mobius helped him to sit more upright from the floor. He looked at Mobius and could only see relief in his eyes.
Strange , Loki thought, I don’t remember the bags under his eyes being that dark when I left his apartment…
“Loki, you’re awake.” Mobius said, hunched over on the floor and holding his friend tightly as he spoke, his voice uneven.
“I am.” Loki replied, as the realisiation that everything that took place, all that death and anger, wasn’t physically real came over him, “I’m here.”
For the first time since he’d gotten Loki in the shower, Mobius felt like he could actually breathe, he watched Loki come to; the red in his eyes returning to that calmer, moss green shade, and the fleshy pink of his skin remove any shade of blue that had once taken over his fingers. He was back. Loki was back. He could only think in fits and starts, barely stringing an entire sentence together as he watched his friend wake up. What began as a releif quickly morphed into guilt, however.
“I’m so sorry.” Mobius spluttered, his previous starved lungs gasping at all the air that was returning to them, “I’m so sorry, I- if I hadn’t spoken the way I had, you didn’t deserve what I said or what you dealt with down there, what I did,, I hurt you and this is all my-”
“Mobius.” Loki said, gently placing a hand one his friend’s shoulder, “You can’t hurt me-”
“No, listen to me, I did. I hurt you, I’ve felt sick all day knowing how I hurt you, I said something I never should have, I hurt you, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Loki, I-”
“You can’t hurt me, and I can’t hurt you.” Loki spoke again, Mobius looked back at him and in that moment enough was said.
An understanding was made: there were going to be a million more scenarios like this, including ones from the timelines they’d never experience. There were going to be times where they were going to do this to one another: unknowingly put the other in positions to get hurt. But if the apology was sincere, if the action wasn’t intentional, the only way their partnership at the TVA was going to last any of it was through the mutual understanding that the only two people in the world they’d never be able to truly hurt were each other. Mobius had apologised, and it was genuine. That didn’t stop what Loki experienced from being horrific or nightmare inducing, but the acknowledgement that his winding up in the Nightmare Department was neither of their faults was paramount for them to start getting past this as a pair. Loki needed someone there to help him, he didn’t want that worry that Mobius was only helping him out of guilt or pity for what he himself had done in the back of his mind, and of course, there would be a day when it would be Mobius’ turn to rely on Loki - any shred of mistrust would ruin their chances of building themselves back up together.
“You can’t hurt me, and I can’t hurt you.” Loki repeated, “Say it back.”
Mobius looked at his friend, took a breath of air, and spoke softly, his voice fragile, “You can’t hurt me, and I can’t hurt you.”
After that, Mobius turned off the shower, the pair of them shaking for entirely different reasons than the cold, their faces wet from the water and their own fears (both tangible and emotional). Still on the floor, they sealed their agreement with a hug, despite the cold water Mobius was still warm, and it felt real, truly real compared to the Mobius he’d held in that empty room; and he wasn’t crying this time, still reeling from his experience, but not crying. They stayed their for a long while, their fingertips having long pruned up, but neither of them cared, neither of them were keeping track of time to begin with. For once, in the TVA, time counted for naught, in that moment all that mattered to them was each other.
Blink.
Things would get better.