Chapter Text
The first time Techno made a real friend, was when he was only seventeen years old. He was still a teenager at that point and he was still ageing like a normal human being. Still, people around him didn’t like him, his beliefs as an anarchist very out of place in the times of monarchy.
To be honest, he was very lucky he never got in trouble for his beliefs, but the people around him didn’t like the government all that much either and he kept on the down-low. He knew as well as everyone else, that the time for revolution and anarchy wasn’t there yet. And while Techno was decent at fighting, he didn’t have the resources to do anything. So Techno never did anything about his beliefs.
When Phil came into his life, was like a ray of sunshine in Technos dull life. After his parents had died in a mugging six years ago, he had been lonely and had only barely managed to keep himself over water.
Phil had come to the village he was residing in in hopes of finding a job and settling down. That was a difficult task in this day and age, most bigger cities being heavily guarded and the very small villages being very poor and not really worth building up a live in.
Technos village had been perfect in that regard. While it was still classified as a village, it was growing steadily (just two years after Phils arrival walls had been built around the cluster of houses and guards had started patrolling at most times of the day). Phil had made a good decision on that part.
-.-
“Hello! I’m Philza Craft and I’m here in search for a place to stay.”
Technos eyes skipped over the young adults lean figure. He was wearing something simple, but the vibrant emerald green, that was present in his clothing, showed clearly that he was of somewhat higher status. It wasn't an exactly common or cheap color to put onto clothing.
Philza also had blonde, chin long hair, that framed a pair of cerulean eyes, soft features and a warm smile on his face. All in all, he had a very soft and nice vibe.
Techno didn’t exactly know what to make out of this man. He didn’t like the wealthy, but Philza had only been nice from what he had seen. He had kindly greeted every citizen, poor or somewhat richer, with the same kind smile he was displaying now and a slight bow.
He wasn’t like the rest of the nobles and monarchs. He was kinder, nicer. Techno liked him for some reason. And he didn’t know, if maybe this was gonna be the worst decision of his life, but he decided to trust this strange man for now. So he broke the awkward silence with a wary look on his face.
“…Techno. No last name.”
Philzas smile instantly bloomed at the display of hesitant trust, nearly blinding Techno with how bright it was. The older man seemed seriously happy. Without another second passing, he offered him a calloused hand.
“Alright! Nice to meet you Techno!”
Techno took the hand.
And if anyone saw a slight smile sneak onto Technos face, no they didn’t.
-.-
Phil had been kind to Techno, even after Techno had expressed his beliefs to the older man multiple times. Being around ten years older than Techno, Phil had quickly not only become a very good friend, but also a father figure in the younger’s life (not that Techno would have admitted it at the time).
Phil did everything for Techno and Techno did everything with Phil. Techno cried when he felt bad and Phil comforted him. Phil showed Techno how to do different tings, like baking and cooking and even gardening. It was wonderful.
And for three years, everything had been completely fine. They were growing older together as best friends, no, family. Techno loved Phil like a father and Phil loved him back like a son.
But nothing great could come for Technoblade, now could it? It was on the day after his twentieth birthday, when Techno discovered a strange symbol behind his left ear. It was on the day after his twentieth birthday, when his life got ruined.
The symbol behind his ear was an hourglass, that was laying on its side. The sand was evenly distributed between the two halves of the glass and red blotches, reminiscent of blood, were twisting around the hourglass and feathering out into beautiful patterns.
At first Techno had tried to wash the black and red ink off his skin, scrubbing at the strange design for over an hour. The ink didn’t go away. And it was strange, because Techno only knew this kind of permanent markings on the skin from criminals, which were branded with ink because of their horrible doings. Other than that, it wasn’t common and even looked down upon to brand your skin like this.
Techno didn’t know how Phil would react to this strange phenomenon, but he wasn't willing to take the risk. So he kept to himself about it. His blonde hair was luckily long enough to cover the strange drawing. It probably wasn’t even that important.
Of course later Techno discovered this was a lie. He discovered that after another two years, in which he didn’t seem to age at all. It confused Techno, but he didn’t really know what to do about it. Maybe he just wasn’t ageing properly yet and would age faster later. Surely that would be the case… And just like that, Techno and Phil lived together for another five years without Techno ageing.
While Phil was now coming into his late thirties and some strands of his blonde hair were thinning and greying, Technos face and body hadn’t aged a day since his twentieth birthday. He tried to hide that of course, growing a beard and wearing baggier clothes.
He had gotten away with doing this until now, but Phil had started to comment on how young his friend looked some time ago and the people in the village were noticing too. Techno didn’t really look like someone who was 27. He looked barely 25. And the older he got, the more blatantly obvious it was.
-.-
“Happy Birthday Techno! You still look as young as ever. God, I wish I did as well… I'm getting old, aren't I. But you really do look great. And I wish for you to look this young for as long as you wish, my friends!”
Techno forced a pained smile. If Phil only knew… He had stopped ageing eight years ago today. And it didn’t look like he would start ageing again anytime soon.
Now, most people probably wouldn't see the problem with this, but it hurt to see strands Phil’s hair slowly fade from a vibrant gold, to a matte straw blonde and then into a light grey, while his own hair stayed in dirty blonde. It hurt to see first wrinkles from constant laughing and smiling form around the edges of Phil’s eyes and mouth, while his skin kept fair and smooth.
Once upon a time he might have loved the aspect of staying forever-young, but now that it was happening, it only made Techno worry about his future.
Still, he couldn't just flip off Phil that easily. So he responded, albeit kind of hesitant.
“…Thank you Phil. Really. You’re the best friend I could ask for.”
And even if he wasn't telling Phil the whole truth, you could be sure that the last part wasn’t a lie. Phil was the one and only person Techno would die for.
-.-
Techno was 31, when he finally confided in Phil about the strange tattoo he got on his twentieth birthday and the nonexistent ageing of his body since then. It had been hard, but Techno had decided, that he trusted Phil.
At first he didn’t know how to take Phil’s reaction. The older man went quiet for a minute, before he told him to wait, that he had something important to do. Was that good or bad? Techno couldn’t really say. It wasn’t inherently good, but Phil hadn’t said anything bad about it either. So Techno didn’t know what to think, until Phil came back from researching two days later.
-.-
“Techno, I think it would be best if we two moved into a new city together.”
Techno flinched where he was sitting at the living table, currently patching up a beaten up pair of pants.
Phil had been gone for the past two days, only coming back home late in the evening to eat something and then go sleep. This was a very sudden and strange way for him to reintroduce himself into Technos life.
“W-what?”, Techno spluttered, not being prepared for Phil to come with something so random, after not talking to him for so long way too long .
“Oh, sorry for surprising you. What I mean, is that I’ve been researching. There is this tale of humans turned angels.
Every few hundred years, god comes down to earth and selects a human around their twenties to be one of his angel. This human then has to learn and live on earth until God deems them fit for heavenly duties.
And Techno… I believe that this is, what’s happening to you. God has chosen you as one of his angels. You are a miracle!”
The warm smile, that was so typical for Phil, never left his face, as he told everything he had researched to Techno. And Technos eyes widened.
What Phil had told him made so much more sense! God choosing him to be an immortal angel. It at least made more sense, than this being random. Also, Phil believed it very passionately. That made it make even more sense in Technos head.
And if this is what god chose for him… Techno supposes he would learn to bear this burden.
-.-
Phil and Techno left the city the following day. Phil had explained to the young immortal, that he didn’t trust the church to not go after Techno if they knew. While Phil had been a deeply religious man, he had also been wary of the government and the leading forces of the church.
So from that day on, Techno and Phil went from city to city, changing every four or five years, so Techno’s immortality wouldn’t be discovered. They posed as father and son first, as nephew and grandfather later. And it worked. Nobody ever questioned their cover.
But even though Techno pretended to be okay with his immortality, it hurt, watching Phil age and age, while Techno himself never even had a single change in his appearance. It hurt, but Techno always told himself, that this was gods will, that he had to get through this for god, his one and only ruler.
He prayed to god daily, to please just accept him in heaven. And when Phil celebrated his 55th birthday and god still didn’t answer his call, he prayed for god to please, PLEASE, at least make Phill live with him until he did. To not let him die until then.
But god never answered. When Phil was 61 years, three months, one week and eleven days old, he died of age at 4 in the afternoon. And Techno had known, this moment would come, with every look at his own, ever-young face. And even if he hadn’t known it then, he would have known that this day would come, when Phil started to be unable to get out of bed for long amounts of time. It was obvious, by the way Phil’s voice got weaker and his body got frailer.
But still, it hurt. It hurt SO MUCH when he finally died. And no matter how much Techno tried to forget his last moments with Phil, he still remembered them like it was yesterday.
-.-
Techno quickly stumbled into Phil’s room. He had been baking some bread, when his friend his father , had called for him. Phil couldn’t do much on his own these days, so Techno had taken it on himself to help him out as much as he could.
The first thing he saw, after entering the room, was Phil’s frail frame on the olders bed. He had his favourite blanket, the one he and Techno had made together when Techno was first learning to sew, pulled up to his chest, his arms laying over the fabric.
“Techno.”, he said with a warm Philza-smile, gesturing for the blonde man to come closer, “I’m glad you came so fast.”
“Uh… yeah…", Techno muttered, “Why did you call me? Do you need help with something?”
Phil just laughed, the laugh sounding airier than it had when he and Techno first met. What didn't change, was that it was still Technos favourite sound in the world. He couldn’t help a fond smile to form on his face at the familiar sound.
“No, no. I actually called you because I wanted to talk to you.”, Phil said.
“Uhm... Alright. What is it?”, Techno asked curiously. He and Phil talked often, but this seemed more... personal.
“You know… When I first met you, you were just a little child, playing the big adult and struggling through life.", another laugh escaped Phil's lips, "But now… Now I see a beautifully aged man in front of me. And that doesn't mean that it has to be in any physical sense. You grew up nonetheless, even if you are immortal.
And Techno… I’m just so proud of you. You grew up to be a fine man. And I mean in a sense of me being proud of you, not your blessing. The life I lived with you… It was wonderful. I loved every second of it and I couldn’t have asked for anything else.
And if I could have chosen, I would have wished to live with you until the end of time. I would have wished to live with you forever, even if it’s just to make you happy.
Because Techno… I love you. I love you like I would love a son. And I hope that you will be happy, even if I leave this world. We both know I will. And when I do, please move on quickly.
I am just a frail, old man, but you Techno… God has blessed you. And you’d deserve to be happy either way. I know it won’t be easy, but please, move on. And I don’t mean, that you have to forget me. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But please move on. You deserve it more than anyone else.
We'll see us in heaven, once god calls upon you.”
Techno stared blankly at the smiling man before him. This wasn’t what he expected, when he had come to Phil. He hadn't expected him to bid his goodbye to Techno, while his voice was soft and warm. He hadn't expected for him to tell him all those things like he is telling him one of his stories.
So he just stared. And for some time, that was the only thing he did. Staring at Phil while tears were building up in his eyes. Staring at Phil while tears were flowing down his cheeks. Staring at Phil while crying, first silent, then accompanied by soft sobs. Techno didn’t know how long he just sat there, crying, but he knew that he had to do something else. He had to say something. So he did.
“B-but… You can’t d-die! Not yet! I… I don’t want you to die!”, he sobbed. He was fully aware, that he sounded like a child, but this was how he felt. Phil couldn’t die. Not yet. Not while Techno still was living. This was how he felt and he could never hide how he felt from Phil. Not yet. Not ever.
“Phil… please don’t die…”, he sobbed once again, voice weak and eyes red.
Techno watched, as the smile on Phil’s face became more forced. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly and a pained look flashed across his eyes. This was clearly affecting him as well, but the older was refusing to let that show. Not in such a vulnerable moment for Techno.
“I’m sorry Techno… But I’m afraid that’s something only god can control…”, he said, a hint of sadness lacing his voice. And Techno thought about it.
God… God controls everything... God controls this… God... God... God...
A sudden rage overcame Techno. God was the one who had fault in this! God was the one that made Techno suffer as an immortal! It was god, that didn’t let Phil stay with him! God was this cruel!
Fuck god!
“Well if he’s the only one who can, then why isn’t he doing anything!”, Techno suddenly shouted, voicing his raging thoughts, “If god is this divine being, why isn’t he doing anything to help me! Why is he letting me suffer all alone!”
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw how Phil visibly flinched at his tone, but in his current, clouded mindset he couldn’t care less. He had finally snapped. After years of silent suffering because of his immortality, he had finally snapped. A red tint filled his vision, a loud static noise filled his ears.
“God… God…”, Techno muttered, a crazed out tone to his voice.
GOD
THERE IS NO GOD LIKE THAT
KILL KILL KILL
KILL GODS
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
KILL
KILL KILL KILL KILL
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
EVERYONE WRONGED YOU
TECHNOKILL
Suddenly an array of voices filled his head. They were loud and they hurt his head. But they made sense. This world wronged him. There couldn’t be a god if he was so cruel! He was alone. God deserves to die. Everyone deserves to die. Everyone should die.
Everyone will die.
KILL KILL
KILL KILL KILL
KILL
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
KILL KILL
KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL KILL KILL…
.............................
“-echno! Techno!”
Suddenly the voices disappeared. His vision became clear again, the red fading in an instant. The static noise disappeared, the only thing he could hear, was someone calling for him.
Someone… Calling for him… Phil! In an instant Techno turned to his friend, a worried look on his face. What had he done? Phil was grabbing at his arm weakly, a concerned gaze directed at Techno.
“Phil!”, Techno exclaimed worriedly. Immediately he reached for the old man. He put his own trembling hand on the older chest. A tear escaped his eyes. “Gosh… Phil… I’m so sorry!”
He continued crying, slightly crouching down and hiding his face in Phil's beloved blanket. “It’s okay.”, Phil said, his usual, warm and caring tone ever-present, “Don't worry about it. You have a big burden to bear. It's understandable for it to overwhelm you sometimes. You'll learn to control it."
"Still... I shouldn't have lashed out...", Techno sniffled, looking Phil into the eyes again. A soft smile was directed at him.
"I'm the one who should be sorry Techno.", Phil sighted, smile fading into a nostalgic stare.
"What... Why?", Techno asked, confused.
"I knew today was the day the moment I woke up. It's something I could feel. It's painful, but it's also soothing. It gave me a reminder. A reminder, how much you mean to me. A reminder to tell you how much you mean to me."
A short pause.
"Goodbye... son."
"Phil? Why are you saying goodbye? What did you feel?", Techno asked confusedly. No answer. "Phil?", Techno asked again, looking at the man on the bed. He wasn't moving. His eyes were closed, a smile still resting on his face. "Phil?!", Techno asked again, this time more panicky. He shook the body. No reaction. On closer inspection, his chest looked like it has stopped to rise. "Phil!", Techno shouted, throwing himself at the body and listening a breath. For a heartbeat. For anything. There was nothing there.
No… No… This can’t be happening! No, no, no!
“Phil! No, please, Phil! Phil! No, Phil! Stay alive Phil! Keep your eyes open Phil! Don’t you dare! Phil! Phil!”
But it didn’t matter how much Techno screamed. The life had left Phil’s body, it having gone limp where it laid. His breathing had stopped too and his heart soon after. Phil was dead. Phil was dead and it felt like it was Technos fault.
“No, no, no… Phil… I’m so sorry… Please come back… P-phil…”, he whispered, crying.
He knew as well as everyone else, that the older wouldn’t come back from the dead. And he knew that he was gonna have to accept that, but right now? He couldn’t.
So he sat there, hunched over Phil’s unmoving body and sobbing. He sat there for three hours, hunched over the shorter mans frame and crying. He sat there until he fell asleep. And before he slept, two last words left his lips.
"Goodbye... Dad..."