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“You were in love with one of them too, weren’t you?”
Elena’s eyes were narrowed, arms crossed over her chest. Kol blinked at her in surprise. “I’m quite sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, darling.”
“Which one was it? Tatia or Katherine?”
It only served to confuse him further. “What?”
She huffed out a breath. “You’re staring at me, so which one was it? Were you in love with Katherine or Tatia? Or some other person with my face?”
He genuinely hadn’t realized he was staring. There was just something soft and yet somehow sharp about her. Kol imagined she’d been put on this earth to be worshipped, and yet she carried herself as if she had no idea. She may have shared the features of both Katherine and Tatia but everything else about her was completely different.
“I assure you, I’ve never loved a doppelganger.”
Kol didn’t mention that there was a terrifying chance that soon enough that would be a lie. He straightened his spine and pasted on a typical smirk. There was no way this girl, Nik’s former blood bag, would make him soften. No, he was the sibling who terrified the rest because he was crazy. Out of control, icy, ruthless, and endlessly angry. He refused to make the same mistake once that Elijah had made twice. He refused to care that much about anyone, especially the woman in front of him that made his heart feel like it might beat out of his chest.
She was still glaring at him when he looked up again. If he hadn’t been so determined not to feel anything, he might have admitted it was almost endearing the way her anger barely darkened her features at all. It was a relief he didn’t need to breathe because the moment he realized he wanted to reach out and smooth the furrow between her brow his body ceased to pull in any air.
Taking a moment to finally gather himself, he cleared his throat. “I must admit I am surprised to see you still here.”
Elena rolled her eyes. “You act like you don’t know I’m being kept prisoner.”
His gaze shot to her face. “What? Nik isn’t even here and he no longer cares about you, why are you his prisoner?”
Rebekah strolled in just then. “Not Nik’s, dear brother. She’s mine.”
The anger that cropped up was sudden and messy, none of the usual clean lines that made him calculating and calm. “And may I ask why, baby sister?”
She shrugged. “I don’t like her and I was bored. Just a bit of fun before I’m called back to New Orleans. I’m sure you understand.”
“Does Elijah know this?” He knew for a fact their older brother maintained a friendship of sorts with Elena. Technically he had ordered all of them not to hurt her.
“No, and you’re not going to tell him.” She crossed her arms. “I haven’t injured her, and I’m not going to kill her. I’ve just held her here. He’s in Italy, and Elijah never said I couldn’t kidnap her.”
“You’re playing with fire, sister.”
“Please, Elijah doesn’t care for her so much that he’d be angry with me for having a bit of fun.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Rebekah.”
Elijah’s voice startled all of them and they turned around immediately. His face was as calm as ever, but his jaw was clenched. Stepping into the room he tilted his head. “Did you really think I’d just trust that you’d abide by my orders without checking?” He glanced at Elena. “Are you alright to get home?”
She nodded and he responded in kind before she took off, vamp speeding right out of the house. Rebekah looked even more pale than usual and Kol was going to just leave her to Elijah’s scolding but his brother’s voice stopped him.
“And you were in on this, Kol?”
“No, I wasn’t,” he bristled at the accusation.
Their sister piped up, sounding petulant. “He’s seen her around the house for days and he didn’t move a muscle to help her.”
“How was I to know you’d gone and kidnapped her?! She’s stayed here at Elijah’s request before.”
Elijah’s eyes were narrowed. “Rebekah, I’ll deal with you later. Kol, I’d like to speak to you.”
Kol swallowed hard. If he was the sibling who scared all the rest, Elijah was the one who could terrify them. Even Klaus, as powerful as he was, could be boiled down to only messy rage and foreseen temper tantrums. Their older brother on the other hand was completely unpredictable. His calm resembled Kol’s when he was in a clean bout of rage where every step was preplanned. Only, Elijah had the same calm no matter how he was feeling.
Rebekah left without a word and Elijah closed the door to the study. Like the rooms in all their houses, it was spelled so conversations couldn’t be overheard. “You saw her around the house and didn’t think to question it?”
“I told you, I was under the impression you’d sent her here.”
“You really think I would tell her to stay here with Rebekah around?” He poured himself a drink. “Perhaps there’s some other reason you didn’t question it.”
His gaze hardened. “And what might that be, brother?”
Elijah met his eyes head on. “I believe you might care for Elena and were happy to have her around.”
“I do not ‘care for’ Nik’s former blood bag. She’s hardly more than an annoying blip on my radar. Perhaps you’re projecting.” The words tasted bitter on his tongue. There was a part of him that he kind of hated that genuinely wanted to hear Elijah’s response though.
The smile that passed over his brother’s face was soft and fond, and one not seen very often. “Elena is a treasured friend. She and I understand one another in a sense that I was no longer familiar with until she reminded me. I do love her in a way, and I wish to keep her safe, but it extends nothing beyond that.”
“Well, that doesn’t mean I care about her at all,” Kol’s voice was cross.
His brother looked almost delighted. “Would it be such a terrible thing to be in love with a woman like Elena Gilbert?”
The word love was much too close for comfort and he felt sick. Realizing he wasn’t going to get an answer, Elijah just set his glass down. “Well, since you truly don’t care about her, would you please check to see she got home safely? Strictly as a favor to me.”
Kol knew when he was being played, but he couldn’t deny that he did want to check on Elena. He was angry with himself for being so oblivious to Rebekah’s schemes. Not that he would ever admit it, but Elijah was kind of right. It had been pleasant to see her everyday without needing any sort of excuse. When she was around, he felt much more settled. For a thousand years there had been an itch under his skin that could never be scratched. Then Elena had, quite literally, waltzed into his life and soothed most of that away.
Nodding wordlessly, he headed towards the door, stopping when his brother spoke again. “Kol, if it ever does occur to you that you care about her, apologizing for trying to kill her and her brother is likely an excellent place to start. Jeremy may have offered you forgiveness, but Elena’s needs to be worked for.”
Scowling he threw the door open, half surprised that it didn’t fly off its hinges. Deciding he needed time to cool off he took his car rather than vamp speeding his way to town. He took the longest route he could conceive of. She had moved into an apartment near her school campus with Jeremy not long ago.
In a strange twist of fates, he and Jeremy had actually made up and resumed their friendship. Elena was forever cautious around him, but she trusted her brother. He was also pretty sure she had a dagger and white oak ash hidden away just in case. Elijah had probably given it to her. It wasn’t safe to associate with so many Originals with no way to protect herself.
At first he hadn’t understood why he’d even bother to stay in the Mystic Falls vicinity. All his siblings had settled in New Orleans, and he had planned to do some travelling before joining them. Instead he was still in Virginia with no immediate plans to leave. He thought about just taking off, if only to prove Elijah wrong, but just the thought made his stomach clench painfully.
“I am not ‘in love’ with Elena Gilbert.”
The statement sounded hollow even to his own ears. It was infuriating. How could this possibly be happening? She and Jeremy had killed him less than a year ago, and now they were the two people he spent most of his time with.
It had been revealed that she had never truly planned on leaving him dead. Elijah had been aware of what she and her brother had planned and gathered witches to work on bringing him back. If he hadn’t spent the week between death and resurrection following Elena around and threatening to kill her he would have known that.
He’d watched her break down the night she admitted Jeremy was dead. It had been the first time he felt like he’d really seen her. Not as Nik’s pet, or Elijah’s friend, or the woman who had killed him. He had been pulled back to his body before he could watch for too long.
His first destination after waking had been Mystic Falls. He’d found Elena with no humanity. At first he’d thought it would be fun, to hang out with her like that. They’d flirted heavily and had come close to kissing more than once. One of the times he’d been so close to kissing her that his lips were nearly brushing hers. There had been such an overwhelming feeling of wrongness he’d run away.
For the rest of her time with her flipped switch, Kol had stayed away. Having been brought back from the dead, he’d realized he could see spirits. And Jeremy was the first one to appear. He’d listened to Jeremy talk about his sister. He had never been angry at her for doing what she was doing without her humanity, he’d been devastated about how Elena would cope when she flipped it back on. It had been the start of them mending their rift so by the time he was alive once again, they were actually friends.
Elena had never even brought up what had happened between them without her humanity. Once Jeremy was back she was more like herself. Sometimes when Jeremy wasn’t looking Kol could see the overwhelming grief on her face. Every time it felt like it tore him up a little bit.
Another thing he’d refused to acknowledge.
Pulling into the parking lot he killed the engine, staring up at the balcony outside the Gilberts’ apartment. There was no one there and he took several deep breaths before forcing himself out of the car. I’m here for Elijah, just a quick check. He nearly laughed at the lie because in the span of a few hours all his certainty about resisting his feelings had completely crumbled.
Before the door had ever opened he knew it was Elena. It was startling to realize he knew what her heartbeat sounded like. Her heart skipped a beat when she finally stood face to face with him.
“Jeremy’s not here.”
There was a split second where he considered just leaving, but something changed his mind. “I came to talk to you, actually.” He tried not to fidget as nerves overwhelmed him. “Can I come in?”
Stepping aside she closed the door, expression weary. He was about to make a snarky joke to cut the tension a bit but he suddenly noticed the gray tinge of her skin. “When’s the last time you ate?”
She shrugged. “Rebekah gave me a vial of blood yesterday.”
“A vial? One vial?” Kol could barely recognize his voice that was tinged with alarm. “When’s the last time you fed fully?”
This time she hesitated a long while. When it became clear he wouldn’t give her an out, she blew out a breath. “Not since the day Rebekah took me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?! Why wouldn’t you have told me Rebekah was keeping you there and that she wasn’t feeding you properly?”
Biting her lip she scowled at him. “She said she’d dagger you.”
He paused for a bare moment on the way to the mini fridge in her room that held blood but didn’t turn around. When he found it empty, the feeling that hit him was somewhat unfamiliar. It was anger, and fear, and panic, swirled with something that felt a lot like he wanted to bundle her up and take she and Jeremy somewhere no one could find them.
Shutting the fridge harder than he had to he turned around and glared at her. “Where’s all your blood?”
“I was on my way to the blood bank the night Rebekah got me.”
“So, go feed on someone.”
Her smile was tight. “When I’m this thirsty, there’s no guarantee I could stop.”
“So I’ll come with you, I’ll pull you off if you can’t control yourself.”
She shook her head hard “Kol, thank you, but no. Jeremy will be back in a while, and then he can go to Whitmore and pick up a blood bag from Caroline.”
His mind was whirling and the next words that tumbled out weren’t of his own volition. “Drink from me.”
Her eyes widened like saucers and she bit her lip again. “I know what blood sharing means, you know.”
For the first time since this morning he managed a smirk, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m well aware, darling. Or do you forget how much trouble we almost got into when you were running around with your switch off?”
The blush was sudden and bright against her grayed out skin. He could hear her pulse racing as she gulped audibly and wondered if she could hear how his heart was thundering in his chest. Standing still he waited as patiently as he could. To have her go without blood much longer would be excruciating. Even the few minutes it would take to get to Whitmore and back was too long.
“Say you’re sorry first.”
Averting his eyes he nodded. “What should I apologize for first?”
“Just...apologize for everything at once so we can stop pretending.”
It took everything in him not to ask her to elaborate but he forced himself to relax instead, looking directly at her. “I am genuinely sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you.”
The tension in the air was thick and she took pity on him. “I’m sorry I killed you.”
He couldn’t help the laugh that burst out. Her smile was a little wobbly and he realized she was falling quick enough to catch her. He ended up on the bed leaning back against the headboard with Elena’s back against his chest. Biting into his wrist he held it up for her.
She hesitated for a second before taking his hand. “I forgive you.”
Her breath wafted over the skin of his wrist and he shivered. Before he could reply she’d latched on and begun to drink from him. It was an even headier feeling than he’d imagined. He couldn’t help brushing the softest kiss over her shoulder before burying his face in her neck.
Leaning more fully into him she took several more pulls before sighing contentedly and letting go. She licked up the stray drops that had traveled down his skin, pressing her lips softly to his pulse when the wound had healed. Wrapping his arms around her he held on tightly, keeping his face hidden.
It was a relief that she seemed perfectly willing to stay where she was because he wasn’t sure he’d know how to let her go. Blood sharing was personal, but he couldn’t remember it ever feeling that personal. Without thinking he pressed a soft kiss to the curve of her neck, able to muster up some smugness when it made her shiver.
“I love you.” Once again the words came out completely unprompted, mumbled directly against her skin.
There was no reaction other than lacing their fingers together. “I know.”
Kol felt his mind blank out for a second. He’d been so careful, kept such a tight rein on his emotions, and avoided anything that could have even be confused for feelings. Raising his head slowly, he wished he could see her face.
“You know?”
She nodded, tipping her head back against his shoulder. “You haven’t killed anyone since we argued about it six months ago.”
Annoyance welled up. “How could you possibly know that?”
“Am I wrong?”
Feeling out of his element he wanted to nastily snipe that she was wrong and take back his words. It would have been petty and vindictive and would have consequences that would far outlast his anger so he held his tongue. His survival instincts tried to convince him to just run. Leave her before she could leave him.
She waited patiently as he took several deep breaths. As much pain as she had the power to inflict upon him, the thought of not taking this chance was just as painful. If he left now, not only would he never know what could have happened, but he’d lose his two best friends.
“No, you’re not wrong,” his voice was soft, “but if you could say something other than that you know I love you, I would really appreciate it, love.”
She laughed, brushing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “I kind of hate you… but I also love you too.”
It wasn’t anything less than he deserved and he decided he could live with that. With all he’d done, he was absolutely elated that she even loved him. Hate and love lived side by side, so he wasn’t worried about the little bit she held onto. It would certainly guarantee things would never be boring. Not that anything between them had ever been boring in the first place.