Work Text:
Puffs of smoke for every breath and squeaking steps in the snow. Maybe it wasn't the best time to walk along the Han River, but Minho is delighted.
The cold numbs half his body and there's an uncomfortable wetness in his shoes.
He basks in the moonlight, barely there from the clouds glooming the sky.
Regardless, Minho feels light.
Maybe tonight isn't so bad.
Walking along the path, he sees someone sitting on the rail. Minho steps closer, and the man seemed to be calm despite his position with an almost empty bottle of alcohol in hand. Still, he can't help but be concerned.
"Hey-"
The man turns to him, face red from both the alcohol and the cold, and gives him a puzzled look.
"Uh, I think that's not a very safe place to drink-" he clears his throat, "-plus, it's freezing out here."
The man only looked at him for a seconds before grinning with a low laugh. He nodded and wordlessly jumped to the sidewalk. He walks up to Minho.
Minho meets the man's eyes, stinging red and tired.
"Are you going to keep me company then?" he replies with a grin.
_____
Two months.
Two months of 3 a.m. calls to pick him up from the club and ask if he's up for a good time.
Good for who?
Winter came and went, but Minho shivers as a hand touches his nape.
This became a part of Minho's life- this is how Seungmin became a part of him.
A part he can't hold but can't seem to let go.
_____
Minho arrives at work, a cafe near a university, going straight to the back kitchen to change. He’s greeted by the sight of Jisung
"Hyung-" the younger says, looking at him, concerned.
Minho looks up at him, raising his eyebrow in question.
"You were with him again, weren't you?" Jisung says, looking at his neck pointedly.
Minho then realizes what the younger was talking about, his hand coming up to cover his neck by instinct.
Jisung sighs. "Hyung- I know that you said you know what you're doing, but this isn't right."
"It's fine, Jisung. I'm fine." Minho replies, tight-lipped.
As he searches for his uniform apron, he feels a sting at the back of his eyes. The next thing he feels is Jisung's hands wrapped around his waist even before his tears fall to his cheeks. He clings to his friend as he cries his heart out.
Minho knows Seungmin only needs comfort, but his heart can't seem to stop giving him more.
_____
It goes on like that. Seungmin coming over unannounced, intoxicated. They fuck for as long as Seungmin can latch on Minho.
He lets it happen, no matter how much his heart aches to be held softly, because no matter how hard he tries, he can't push Seungmin away.
If anything, he's the one holding onto him.
_____
Minho walks into his apartment, unsurprised to see Seungmin sitting on the couch, eyes closed and limbs sprawled out. He moves to sit beside him, smelling the faint hint of mint under the intoxicating scent of cigarettes and alcohol.
"Seungmin-'' he says, patting his head lightly. "Seungmin, get up. You can rest on my bed. It's more comfortable there." He says, carding his hands through Seungmin's hair.
He hears a content sigh from the other, even leaning to his touch. Minho felt his heart break.
Maybe if you open up to me, things would be different.
Minho hears Seungmin grunt, trying to open his heavy eyes.
"Do you want water?" Seungmin weakly nods. So, he made his way to the kitchen and back, glass in hand.
"Slowly-" Minho murmurs as Seungmin drinks the water. He sets it at the table once Seungmin finishes and turns to him.
"Hey- c'mon. Let's get you to bed."
They trudged to his room. Seungmin's arm hanging on Minho's shoulder, while he secures his waist.
Minho lets Seungmin fall on his bed with a light thump, stripping him of his garments for comfort.
Minho moves up closer to the other's face, simply admiring him under the moonlight; his long lashes, pinched eyebrows, scratched nose, and his busted lip.
He stands up to leave, but he feels a hand grab his wrist.
He meets Seungmin's eyes, lidded with exhaustion, alcohol, and something akin to sadness.
"Stay-" Seungmin says, voice soft and small. He feels Seungmin hold him tighter. "-please."
Minho felt his chest tighten, hiding it behind a small smile. He wordlessly gets under the covers, breath hitching when he feels the other's breathing on his neck, his arm around his waist.
He chooses to ignore the thoughts lingering in his mind, the voices in the back of his head, and the cries of his own heart. He focused on the beating of Seungmin's heart, where he feels his back pressed against his chest. He focuses on the warmth he feels inside him. The comfort- though temporary, eases him.
Just for tonight.
Like he said every other night.
_____
When Minho wakes up, he doesn't feel the weight of Seungmin's hands around him, long gone with his warmth.
Like clockwork, he feels the dull ache in his chest.
Just like every other night.
He was heading to his living room to mindlessly watch tv when he hears clattering in the kitchen along with a string of curses.
He sees Seungmin reaching for a plate in his cabinets to place his toast.
"You're up."
"Oh, yeah. I didn't think you'd still be here." Minho says, hesitant.
"Well, I tried making toast." Seungmin says.
He pushed the plate towards Minho and made his way out of the kitchen. Minho follows suit after grabbing a piece.
He sits beside Seungmin while he flips through channels. They wordlessly finished their breakfast while the sound from the tv reverberated around the room.
Minho will never forget this morning.
Their first morning.
_____
Minho doesn’t know how or why, but as time went by, Seungmin seemed warmer.
He comes home to Seungmin sitting cross-legged on the couch. He finds the sight of the other man endearing, wearing a hoodie far too big for him, drinking for cola with sweater paws.
Minho sits beside him, and the other offers him the cola he was drinking. Minho merely shrugs and says he isn’t thirsty.
It’s so simple, watching tv in his shabby apartment. The noise occupies the room, but Minho can only focus on Seungmin's breathy laughs and the weight of his head on his shoulder. It’s so simple, yet Minho wouldn't trade this feeling for the world.
And it's not the heat he feels when they're pressed close to each other, breathing in each other's space, it's more of the warmth of waking up next to him when the sun shines, eating breakfast in comfortable silence, the soft touches, it just feels mellow.
So, he has hope-
-that things can be different.
_____
Minho wakes up, blinking the sleep away. He feels a heavy weight on his chest, Seungmin. He tries to lay him down as gently as he could, pulling up the covers to cover the other's bare torso.
Minho finds his clothes on the floor, thrown carelessly last night. He opts to put on his boxers and hoodie before quietly leaving the room.
He makes his way to the kitchen, checking the fridge for ingredients.
He settles on fried eggs along with ramen for their breakfast. He just put the noodles in boiling water when he feels arms snaking around his waist.
Seungmin pulls him close, planting a kiss on his neck and murmuring a good morning with his morning voice that makes Minho's mind go haywire. Minho tenses for a second but hopes it doesn't show, muttering a good morning as well. Seungmin just stays there, watching Minho work.
He turns to get the eggs from the table, but Seungmin doesn't let him go, only loosens his hold to let him turn around. He didn't notice this earlier, but Seungmin is shirtless. Of course, he is.
Minho clears his throat. "Uhm- I'm gonna get the eggs." He says, pointing at the table.
Seungmin wordlessly reaches for the eggs, one hand still clinging to Minho's waist.
Seungmin puts the bowl of eggs beside the stove and puts his hand where it was before.
"There you go." Seungmin says, looking up at him.
Minho blinks, confused by the sudden clinginess the other is showing. He’s jolted out of his thoughts when he felt his lips press against his own. A quick peck, much different from how Seungmin kissed him last night.
"Ramen's done." Seungmin says, looking over Minho's shoulder with a smirk. He releases him. "I'm gonna go shower."
Minho, still surprised, merely nods.
Minho stares at Seungmin's back as he leaves, broad and marked with red scratches. Minho quickly turns his attention back to the food. He hopes the ramen didn't get soggy.
Seungmin is still drying his hair when he takes a seat at the table. Minho sets down their plates and notices Seungmin is wearing a hoodie, his hoodie. He doesn't comment on it and sits down to eat as well.
When they finish eating, they opt to watch tv as they usually do, sitting on the couch closer than usual.
In the middle of a game show, he feels a hand on his. Seungmin intertwines their hands wordlessly, thumb caressing Minho's hand. Minho looks up at the other but he’s staring straight at their television. He sees the other gulp and feels him loosening his grasp to let him go. But Minho doesn’t allow it, grasping the other’s hand giving it a comforting squeeze. That makes Seungmin look at him, and Minho gives him a small smile before resting his head on his shoulder.
Minho glances at their intertwined hands atop his lap. He brushes his own thumb against the other’s hand.
I don’t want to let you go.
_____
Minho arrives late from work, and he's surprised not to see Seungmin sprawled on the couch as he usually is. He was on his way to drop his groceries in the kitchen when he hears a loud shattering sound from his room. He quickly put the groceries down on the table and ran to his room.
Once he opens the door, he sees Seungmin crouched on the floor next to what seems to be a broken figurine.
"Seungmin-" Minho says softly, cautiously approaching the other.
He crouches down in front of him, softly calling his name again.
Seungmin looks up at him, tears flowing like a river. He reaches out for him, but Seungmin closes in on himself, hugging his knees tighter.
Minho's heart breaks. He's never seen Seungmin so...vulnerable.
He gives the other some space and talks as calmly as he can. "Seungmin- I'm going to get something to clean this up, okay?" he says, pertaining to the broken figurine. Seungmin doesn't look up again. Minho can tell he's trying to calm down, his cries quieting little by little. He opts to leave him to breathe and get the cleaning materials for the figurine.
When he comes back to the room, he finds Seungmin in the same position. He releases a small sigh of relief and proceeds to clean the broken figurine.
Minho sits near where Seungmin is still crouched after cleaning up, but not too close. He stays at an arm's length wanting to give the other the space he needed but not wanting to leave him alone.
Minho doesn't know how long he sits there, but some time later he started feeling drowsy.
Minho feels a hand on his shoulder, he shakes his head to wake himself up a bit. Blinking sleep away, he looks up and sees Seungmin, eyes bloodshot but looking at him with a soft gaze.
"C'mon- let's get to bed." Seungmin says with a small smile, voice hoarse. Seungmin holds out his hand, and Minho takes it wordlessly.
They lie down in silence. They face each other, and Minho feels Seungmin pull him close by the waist. Minho looks up at the other and finds him already looking at him.
Usually, Minho would get shy- averting his gaze, unless the other demanded him to look at him, but right now, all he wants to do is admire Seungmin under the moonlight.
And that, he does.
For someone with a strong aura around him, Seungmin looks soft. Strong eyebrows, round eyes, and plump lips. Minho holds out his hand to caress the other's face, thumb brushing over his cheeks.
Minho wants to embed his image in his mind. For some reason, he feels like he needs to.
_____
When Minho wakes up, he doesn't feel the presence that was once there.
The sun shines bright through his blinds, and sweat trickles from his forehead, but he feels as cold as the day they met without him there.
Minho couldn't do anything but let his tears fall.
Maybe things can't be different.