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The beep ends the call at 2:47 am.
I lean back on my chair and stare at my phone, waiting for him to call back and tell me he was messing with me and this is all a joke.
He doesn't call me back.
The phone stays silent the entire night.
I stay alone, letting the situation sink in before completely breaking down in the middle of the night.
-
The aggressive clicking sounds of my mouse were interrupted by my phone’s loud ringing.
Bad’s name flashes across the screen and I shoot up from my seat and immediately stop doing whatever I was moments before and answer it.
“Bad! You haven’t called me all day, you didn’t pick up my calls as well! what happened?” The voice I hear back is happy, excited. Unlike my own mood.
“Skeppy…I-I got in! This is so surreal dude, I got in, I'm accepted!.” I was happy of course, I mean we all saw it coming. Bad was a straight-A student, perfect in academics, how can any school deny him?
“This is not a joke?” I asked, knowing the answer myself but hearing it from Bad made everything more real. He was going to California! He got accepted!
He is going to California… right.
“I gotta tell my parents, oh my goodness, let's talk later, Skeppy!” Another beep ended the call.
I lean back in my chair and start thinking about all the moments we had together, oh how I'm gonna miss him so so much…
The funny thing is that I knew, we both knew Bad was gonna get in. Of Course, he was. It was like hanging meat in front of a hungry shark. The shark would catch the meat no matter what.
Bad got accepted.
The shark snatched the meat right off the hook.
Then why can’t I get over it? We talked about this. Getting into his dream college means he would have to go to California for 4 years, Only coming back on holidays. I thought I was prepared but it still hurts so damn much.
I will lose the one person I deeply care about, more than anything in this world.
Oh, I’m gonna miss him.
-
The week leading up to the big move was the worst but at the same time the best. I was happy for him, really happy.
He deserved every second of it.
But a selfish part of me wanted him to stay so bad. I wanted to tell him everything that was killing me inside but he was so excited, how can I ruin it for him?
The start of the week was spent with our entire friend group. Everyone congratulated him, everyone supported him, it was a nice time.
They even brought him parting gifts, Dream and Sapnap said they’ll help move the furniture with him, while most of it just went by in a dark blur for me.
My nights were spent crying and trying to write that one goddamn letter I had been working on for so long.
-
On the last day, we came back after a tiring game of laser tag. Everyone went their own ways, biding their goodbyes to Bad, and how they were gonna miss him so much.
The second we got into Bad’s apartment, I dropped on the couch while Bad rummaged through the kitchen for snacks.
“Here you go!” He came back out, handing me a bowl of our favorite chips and another bag of giant M&Ms.
We both made ourselves comfortable under the blanket I brought out and started munching on the junk food as we remembered the good ol’ days.
“Remember back in middle school when you pulled the fire alarm just to get me out of the English test?” We both laughed hard at that one, that was the first time Bad broke the rules to save me, and he never heard the end of it.
Bad continued the chain of stupid memories by adding one of his “Or that time where you wrote ‘14’ on every locker in the boy's room?”
“Okay that was epic, everyone found that funny!” I defended myself before laughing at the ‘Really tho?” face he made.
“Everyone except our janitor! Poor guy” He shook his head in disappointment when both of us broke into laughter once again.
After a few hours when we ran out of snacks to eat, we pulled Bad’s all-time favorite movie (and mine too but I won't admit it) and started watching it.
“Skeppy,”
“Mhm?”
“This will be the last time we'll watch this movie together… Before I- y’know?”
I quietly hugged him, soon enough tears damped my pastel blue hoodie.
“Hey look at me,” His glassy eyes turned to me, our eyes locking, “You are finally following your dream! What can be better than that? This is what you need Mr. Badboy,” That pulled his lips into a smile, we held each other tight as Bad finally drifted off to sleep after a long day or week in general.
We laid on that couch for a while, the movie long muted and forgotten about as Bad slept peacefully, while I tried to get my feelings in order.
About 3 hours later, Bad woke up and I knew exactly what to do.
I’ll not tell him.
“Bad,”
“Yea?”
You are running away from the truth.
“I- I want-”
You are gonna be a burden to him.
“I need to te-tell you-”
You are a coward, Skeppy.
“What is it?” Bad grew impatient as the two voices grew louder and louder, drowning my own thoughts.
“Let’s get you to bed, You need a proper rest for tomorrow yeah?” ‘
“Ah alright,” Bad mumbled, still half-asleep.
I took him to bed, opened the apartment door, ran out of the house, and didn’t stop until I reached the always calm and peaceful park.
I sat down on our bench, which Bad and I used to always sit on back in middle school and look up at the gloomy clouds. Tears trickled down my face and the only voice I could hear was taunting me, pushing me to my breaking point.
I’m a coward.
-
The sun was annoyingly bright, but I had to deal with it for a bit. We had everything ready and prepared to head to the airport. Bad had rechecked everything about 14 times at this point so I doubt he left something behind.
We drove over to the Florida Airport with everyone. Dream volunteered to take us, so George, Sapnap, A6d, Bad, and I piled into Dream’s surprisingly clean car and started the drive. It wasn't far away but with everyone laughing at the good moments, trying to keep the mood light and fun time passed a little quicker. Before I knew it, Bad was walking through the gates, waving us goodbye.
I broke out from my daze, quickly taking everything in before I yelled his name at the top of my lungs
“Bad!” I called out loudly, catching his attention. He turned around to look at me with wide eyes.
I ran towards him and hugged him tightly. Trying to savor the warmth I might not get any time soon.
“I love you Bad, Don’t forget to call me,” I whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. “I will, you muffinhead.” He whispered back.
We pulled apart and I looked directly into his green emerald eyes. “Take care bald man.” I grinned, he smiled.
And with that, he walked away from me and into the airport. George came up to me and hugged me.
After that, it was a silent car ride back to our homes. The sunshine of our group was flying away, to another state, the other side of the country.
I wish I could see him just once, tell him everything, watch him laugh, watch him yell language at anyone using profanities.
Just once.
That day, I got back home and instead of crying like a baby, I picked up my pen once again.
“Dear Badboy,”
-
4 years later
It was finally over. No more school, no more assignments, no more trying to get out of parties.
It was all over.
My plane landed exactly at 8 am. The exhausting 4-hour journey was worth it. Everything was worth it to finally meet my muffinhead best friend.
College took a lot of my time, I hardly got to meet my family face to face because of the heavy assignments and exams. I only flew to Florida on Christmas, that's when I got to see Skeppy ever.
But that too was cut short because of meeting family and other friends. We hardly had any alone time.
When I finally got out of the airport, I had two choices, Either go home or find Skeppy.
Of Course, I went to Skeppy.
Skeppy was usually at home at 8 am, So I went there first.
No luck, His parents were happy to see me but they said he had left early to complete some work.
I thanked them and went on my way to the only other place I knew he could be. And I was right.
The park was empty except a boy with raven hair occupied an old and rusty bench near the lake. I didn’t need confirmation that this was my Skeppy, bad posture, dark hair, His signature blue hoodie.
Who else could it be?
“Skeppy!” I yelled, dropping my suitcase and running over to him. His face snapped in my direction and his entire face lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Bad! Oh my god, you are finally here!” He quickly shot up from his seat and came running at me. We both met in the middle and hugged as if our life depended on it. And it kinda did.
It felt like a movie, Meeting your best friend after years, tears streaking both faces and no words are exchanged but everything is understood.
“I got up early to meet you.” He finally said, breaking apart. I smiled even bigger, noticing a paper in his hand.
He giggled and then paused for a moment. “Here,” He said, bringing the paper in his hand in front of him, I took it slowly, unsure of what it was.
The paper was covered in sketchy handwriting, classic Skeppy. The ink was dark and filled the entire page.
It was quiet for a few minutes, as I read over the paper. Tears formed in my eyes as I read over the letter again and again.“Skeppy...”
“Just had to get this off my chest.” He said with a small sigh.
I smiled, He mirrored my smile back.
“Alright then,” I offered him my hand and he took it
He brought his hand up to pat my head and I laughed, “So tell me, How was California?”
We walked the rest of the way talking and making jokes just like the old times. And I couldn't have had it any better.
-
Dear Badboy,
I don’t even know how many times I have started this letter, and then stopped. But this is the final version, I’m not changing this at all.
You are my best friend. You will always be my best friend and no one is ever gonna change that. You going to California doesn’t change that one bit. I have to admit that I was really mad that you were leaving me, but I was happy you got to follow your dreams in the better part of myself.
You deserve it.
Some things are better left unsaid so I’m gonna leave them unwritten. But Bad, you are the nicest, most amazing person I have met in my life.
And I’m glad I get to be your best friend.
Love always, Skeppy.