Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Emma stared at the ceiling blankly, it was the last day of summer. Birds chirped outside the window, everything was so different; everything seemed to be so slow. If she were back at the city, the streets would be filled by honking, screaming, and the rattling of the train tracks next to their building. However, Edgewater was poles apart; it had this sense of calm, a slow pace that somehow made you feel that you were walking too fast. It has been a week now, since she has moved in with her grandparents but Emma felt like she was drifting through a standstill. It felt like watching a sloth eat if only you could fast-forward everything.

She looked at the walls of her room, they seemed too bright, and everything was in eggshell color except for a lime green accent wall where her bed was flanked. She missed the grey walls of her old room and the wide windows that led to the fire exit where she often hung out and observed the passers-by below in the bustling energy of the city. This new room had windows too but she always needed to put the wooden blinds down since the afternoon sun hit her room. She should probably talk her grandfather into painting the accent wall in a darker tone or maybe chalkboard paint might work, Emma imagined. Some of her stuff were still in boxes but the newly built shelves in Emma’s room were stacked with books from fiction, non-fiction, to graphic novels. These stories had helped her escape into multiple unknown worlds where everything seemed to make sense. The walls in her room were adorned with tacked movie posters and some of her own artworks. Make-up utopias where everything seems to work out has helped Emma cope so far. 

She missed her mother so much, why did she have to work abroad? This was the reason why Emma had moved in with her grandparents in Edgewater. Her mother, Eliza took the opportunity to work with Doctors without Borders, she is now stationed somewhere in Yemen as a surgeon. Eliza raised Emma single-handedly and she had always opened her to a worldview of freedom of expression, values, and social awareness. Emma had never met her father, Eliza always thought of him as her greatest mistake that led her to the greatest thing in her life, Emma. Eliza is as progressive as any mother could get, she allowed Emma to dress however she wanted, eat whatever she craved for, and work on whatever she was passionate about. Their apartment used to even serve as a halfway house for people from different walks of life. Eliza brought home friends from the groups she volunteered to; Emma met anarchists, environmentalists, feminists, and she liked listening to their anecdotes and stories. Therefore, it just broke Emma’s heart when she found out that not only would she not see her mother for probably eighteen months or more but also that she would be finishing her senior year somewhere else. Emma loved her life in the metropolis, she loved the street food, going to comic book conventions, hanging out in parks and being just a pin in a haystack in the throng of everyday people. However, she wanted her mother to pursue what she was passionate about and the thought of living with her grandparents also did not bother her at all. George and Betsy Nolan were as remarkable as any elderly couple could get. George is a retired mechanical engineer and he always had some sort of project going on in his garage. Betsy taught middle school history but she now owns a small bookstore at the main street of Edgewater. But charming as this new set up may seem, Emma still thought about her life in the city and the challenge of meeting new people. Emma was contented with her friends, well, just a friend actually, she only had one friend, the equally strange, Marcus Blunt III who always had crazy hair. She was also friends with his younger sister, Penny but then Penny is just twelve years old maybe that counts, too. However, Emma promised to keep in touch with Marcus, she always had the idea that her current arrangement was temporary and she would return to their old apartment with her mother soon.

It was also a bit of a consolation that she was in the same class as her cousin, Kevin. Kevin’s mom is her mother’s older sister, she always played with him when they were kids since they were of the same age and Kevin’s twin brothers were older, also it helped that Kevin was not so bad either. Though Kevin is much taller now, his lanky frame had become a bit muscular since he is in the men’s basketball team. But Kevin is still as dorky and funny as she remembers him and it would not be so bad that she is going to Kevin’s high school tomorrow. Kevin would be there and everything would be fine, Emma just has one more year left and when she turns eighteen, she can go to college and choose where to live eventually, for now, she just needs to endure.

Suddenly, soft knocking broke Emma from her thoughts. She muttered a low enter and Kevin’s head popped behind the door.

“Hey, are you up?” Kevin asked as he emerged from the threshold wearing a maroon t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts.

“Not fully.” Emma mumbled, still in her pajamas, a matching set with penguin prints. “Why are you here so early?”

Kevin ignored her question. “Gran is preparing breakfast, time to get up now!” Kevin bounced on his cousin’s bed.

“It’s so early!” Emma protested.

“It’s eight o’clock, Pops has already cleaned his shed twice and mowed the lawn, what are you still doing in your pajamas?” Kevin urged playfully.

“Why do we need to get up so early?” Emma muttered as she headed towards her closet.

“We’re driving to the mall to get some school supplies. This way I can show you around town.” Kevin relaxed on Emma’s bed.

“You don’t need to show me around, Kev. I spent summers here.” Emma snorted.

“You never left this street, Em. This place is not always what you think it is. C’mon get dressed. I’ll wait downstairs; Gran is making chocolate chip pancakes.” Kevin ruffled her hair as he left the room.

Emma gawked at the set of clothes that hung on one of the door handles of her closet. She had selected a plain black t-shirt, a light blue short-sleeved shirt, and dark denims. Emma groggily marched towards the bathroom; she observed her reflection for a while. She was still in her penguin print pajamas. She wore her hair shorter now; she got rid of her blonde curls and she now sported a tidy pixie cut. There were obvious bags underneath her eyes but these are something that her big eyeglasses can cover. There was zit that was about to form underneath her lower lip but it is something that some concealer can hide. Her hair was disheveled and she tried to tame it by finger combing. With a huff, she decided on a warm shower to start her day. The water felt comforting as it hit her nape. Emma massaged some vanilla-scented conditioner onto the little hair that she had left. She took a while in savoring her shower; she had some time to spare. The water was about to run cold as soon as Emma exited the shower. Welcome to Edgewater, your home for the following year.

When Emma reached the dining room, Kevin was already seated next to their grandfather with stacks of pancakes on their plates and fresh coffee. They were immersed in a conversation about cars and maintenance. Kevin guzzled his pancakes eagerly as he listened to their grandfather.

“Slow down boy, is your mother feeding you properly?” Betsy eyed her grandson as she placed plates full of pancakes on hers and Emma’s place settings.

“Mom is always into some new trendy diet stuff.” Kevin explained with his mouth full.

“She should let you eat well; you’ll burn all the calories anyway.” George commented.

“Oh hi love, are you ready for your day out with Kevin?” Betsy greeted Emma as she sat next to her cousin.

“I told him that I don’t need showing around.” Emma mumbled.

“There’s always something new happening in Edgewater.” George mumbled sarcastically.  

“Yeah, we are going to the mall.” Kevin declared, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hooray! I’m so excited!” Emma mocked.

“I told you this came out of Eliza’s womb with a storm cloud following her around.” Betsy Nolan remarked as she placed a couple of pancakes on Emma’s plate.

“Oh yeah, what’s that character’s name, the one we saw in that animated movie last time? The blue one?” George quipped.

“Was this Inside Out?” Betsy raised an eyebrow.

Emma knew where this conversation was going but she never got offended at all. She actually finds it amusing how much her family knows her and how she would react to certain situations. It’s endearing actually, how they point out her quirks but not ask her to change.

“The blue one…what’s her name? The one who always slumps on the floor…” George was snapping his fingers.

“Oh, Sadness!” Kevin quipped. “Haha, they do look alike and also act alike.” He rubbed his chin.

“With family like you, who needs bullies, huh?” Emma smirked.

“So, are you ready for tomorrow?” Kevin wondered as he and Emma were driving back from the mall.

The cousins actually had a nice day out; they brought school supplies, shopped for some clothes, and actually spent some time at the arcade. Kevin liked hanging out with Emma, being the youngest, his brothers usually picked on him but being with Emma, everything was just sensible.

“First day of school?” Emma sneered. “I already had several first days of school, Kev. What’s such a big deal about this one? The plan is just to coast around in a year until we get to college.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s happening, Em.” Kevin looked skeptical.

“What do you mean?” Emma looked troubled at Kevin’s words.

“This is Edgewater, not the city. Everyone knows anyone and that’s just how things are here.” Kevin muttered behind the steering wheel without looking at Emma.

“You mean that everyone sticks their noses up everyone else’s asses?” Emma joked. "That's how some animals say 'hi' to each other, you know." Emma chuckled. 

“If that’s how you would like to put it.” Kevin snickered. “But seriously, you’re the new kid and it’s senior year. They’ll still eat you up like fresh meat.” Kevin’s tone was more serious this time. “Also, you can’t just coast around acting like yourself. Edgewater is not ready for you.”

Kevin caught Emma’s attention this time. “Like there’s no other gay kid in Edgewater?” Emma hoped that her question remained rhetorical. In her previous school, kids just came in all colors, shapes, and sizes and the school had this zero-tolerance policy. There were numerous clubs that catered to kids’ various talents and weirdness and if she did not move away Emma could have been the president of their film and photography club. Plus, though Emma did not wave the rainbow flag in front of people’s faces, nobody bullied her for how she dressed or how she came to terms about being a lesbian. Perhaps she never thought of that when she agreed to move to Edgewater.

“Actually, no. Not that I know of.” Kevin gulped.

“Well, it’s only a year, Kev. How bad can it be?” Emma tried to comfort herself with that thought. “I’ll just lay low and by the second week, I’ll just be one of those generic kids that people would randomly pass by the hall.”

“If that’s your gameplay then, I suggest you don’t hang much around me at school.” Kevin remarked with concern.

“Oh, I get it!” Emma grasped. “You’re Mr. Popular aren’t you?”

“No, not really, I’m more like Mr. Popular’s sidekick.” Kevin gathered. “It’s actually a great spot, the limelight is not directed at you most times but it keeps me in the safe zone.”

“How you managed to survive this long is beyond me.” Emma scoffed.

“Like you said, it’s just one more year.” Kevin hummed.

“So, we’re not riding to school together, then?” Emma realized.

“I could still drive you around. Just that you need to fit in with the others, too and but be warned, they’re not really your cup of tea, they don’t understand sarcasm and self-deprecating humor. Most of them are too narcissistic for that.” Kevin puffed.

“Alright, Mister Double-life, I get your point. I’ll borrow Granpa’s bicycle instead.” Emma decided.

“Is it still alive?” Kevin wondered.

“I can resurrect it then!” Emma declared. “Probably just needs a little oil.”

“Pops can help you out, he’s a mechanic.” Kevin retorted.

“He’s an engineer, Kev.” Emma clarified.

Kevin just shrugged his shoulders and focused his attention back to the almost empty road.  

She did not expect this from her cousin. She had this impression that he was trying so hard to fit in, she never saw Kevin that way. He was always cheerful and accommodating but then high school always makes everyone insecure in many ways. It started to bother Emma, realizing that James Madison High School has this intricate social hierarchy that kids are forced to navigate into. Perhaps laying low would not be that easy after all, too much for just drifting around.

“You have your lunch with you?”

“Yes, mom.”

“Make sure that you have your planner, you can’t always count on your phone to work.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Also, you would need to see Principal Hawkins regarding Yearbook matters before homeroom.”

“Yes, mom.”

“What time am I going to pick you up?”

“Oh, I thought I could hitch a ride with Kaylee. We have a meeting for the upcoming cheer tryouts after school.”

“Oh, it must have slipped my mind.” Mrs. Greene realized. 

This is the life of Alyssa Greene. Each morning on a school day, before she gets dropped off at school, she undergoes some sort of an inquisition, her mother making sure her life is intact. This is the life of Alyssa Greene, cheerleader, student council president, Bible camp alumna, and on the running for class valedictorian.

Alyssa took a deep breath as she opened the door of the passenger’s seat. She wore a royal blue sweater over her crisp white shirt. Her brown wavy hair draped just right above her shoulders. Her slim fit denim pants looked newly pressed and her pair of white Keds looked immaculately spotless.

“Alyssa, did you hear me?” Mrs. Greene’s voice broke Alyssa from her musing. 

“I’m sorry, mom. I was just trying to remember some things.” Alyssa mumbled.

“I asked if you are ready for the first day of your senior year.” Mrs. Greene elucidated with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course, more than I ever will be.” Alyssa lied with a grin. She was used to this, masking her true emotions in front of her mother. It was a blatant fib. The truth of the matter was, her mind was moving a mile a minute. She was worried about so many things, managing all the events for their senior year, maintaining her grades to graduate as valedictorian, and results for university applications were coming in soon.

“Look, this is your last year and I’m aware that you are toe to toe with Shelby as class valedictorian. She’s a smart girl, Lys but you can be smarter, so play smart, always calculate your risks. I know she’s your friend but you can’t afford losing your spot to a slim margin, you got me?” Mrs. Greene reminded.

“Yes, mom, I’ll definitely do my best.” Alyssa assured.  

“That’s the spirit, superstar!” Mrs. Greene gave her thumbs up behind the steering wheel.

“Bye, mom. Thank you for the ride.” Alyssa bade her mother farewell.

“Have a great day!” Mrs. Greene finally exclaimed.

“You, too.” Alyssa said back as she slung her powder pink Jansport backpack over her shoulder.

Alyssa took a deep breath as she stood in front of the façade of James Madison High School. This was her final year at high school; she cannot wait of get out of Edgewater. Perhaps college will be a lot different, perhaps college would be more liberal, perhaps life away from her mother would be better. She was wearing this mask and there are countless moments when she felt she could not breathe anymore.

“Hey, Alyssa!” Alyssa’s contemplation was broken by the shrilly voice of Kaylee Klein hopping towards her from the corridors with Shelby Gonzales following close behind.

Alyssa took a deep breath. Here we go again; she goaded herself.

Chapter Text

“So, I heard that there’s a new kid in town.” Kaylee was looking at her nails as they walked along the corridors; she was flanked in between Alyssa and Shelby.

In school, they were known as the triple threats, not just in the sense that they can act, dance, and sing. But Kaylee, Shelby, and Alyssa excelled in many facets; they belong to the top of their class, they are athletic, and each one takes up another after school activity. Alyssa is the student body president. Shelby is the captain of the math league and Kaylee is the chairperson of the international food club. That is why it made perfect sense that these girls were in a clique.

“In our year?” Alyssa wondered. Who would transfer schools on their senior year, not that it is not valid in some circumstances?

“Don’t tell anyone, yet but Kevin told me that she’s his cousin.” Shelby whispered as if it is some sort of secret.

“Why shouldn’t we tell anyone? Doesn’t Shields want to associate himself with her?” Kaylee narrowed her eyes.

“Beats me, you should ask him yourself, that’s all I know.” Shelby deadpanned.

“Maybe she’s weird or something, that’s why Kevin is keeping her.” An idea crossed Kaylee. “Maybe she came from rehab or maybe she’s famous and she’s hiding out here in small-town Edgewater.” Kaylee guessed excitedly.

“Can you please stop? It’s not nice to speculate, you know how gossip spreads around here.” Alyssa warned.

“Trust Mother Alyssa to be your conscience, Kay.” Shelby chuckled. “Anyway, we can always ask Kevin.”

“You’re right, where is that boyfriend of yours anyway?” Kaylee looked around, searching for the tall brown-haired boy.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Shelby blushed. “Well, not yet.”

Alyssa just smiled at her meekly. Kevin and Shelby had indeed been moving around in circles with each other but they indeed went out a couple of times last year and Shelby called those pseudo-dates because Kevin did not clear up anything. The truth of the matter is that Kevin is just too meek for his own comfort and Shelby is trying not to be too forward. They were not like Kaylee and Nick who had been together since first year. It just made sense that the head cheerleader and star player of the basketball team would end up together. On the other hand, Alyssa has been keeping it on the down low with their other friend, Greg. Greg was nice enough and respectful and they actually had things to talk about like books and movies but Greg in mostly into musicals, he did have a nice voice but no one knew about that. Why he is in the basketball team and not the glee club, Alyssa actually never figured out. Greg was very charismatic, that is why Alyssa decided to go out with him in the first place but nothing was official. Also, Greg has been very respectful, not like the other boys who trailed behind her like she was a piece of meat. So, it was sensible to be with Greg, just because he is not as hormonal as the others. Well, come to think of it, he does not show any hint of sexual interest either. Therefore, Alyssa expects to survive high school scathe free. Especially since her mother had warned her about distractions, not that Greg is distracting enough. If she could be more honest to herself, she is mostly unaffected when it comes to Greg but he is a good guy.

Alyssa’s musings was broken when she actually recalled her mother’s reminder about seeing Principal Hawkins before homeroom. “Oh hey, I just remembered that I need to see Principal Hawkins first.”

“You’re not in trouble are you?” Shelby narrowed her eyes at Alyssa.

“It’s just the first day of school, Shelbs.” Alyssa chuckled. “No, it’s about the yearbook committee.” Alyssa explained as she started to walk away from her friends.

“See you later then!” Shelby waved. Kaylee was still looking for Nick and Kevin.

“Welcome to James Madison High School!” Principal Hawkins inspected a binder as Emma sat on the visitor’s chair in front of his desk.

The principal was seated behind a wide mahogany desk that was filled with stacked folders on both sides. Principal Thomas Hawkins has this kind smile plastered on his face. He wore a grey suit and a dark blue tie, he had this air of formality but Emma felt that he seemed accommodating enough and his kindness looked genuine not just some painted mask that most people in authority would have.

“You’re actually an honor student back at your school, with no bad records, that is why we are able to allow your transfer.” Principal Hawkins explained.

Emma sat quietly on her chair, she wore this army green bomber jacket over a white t-shirt with the word Strong written in bold red letters on her chest, and her sling bag was draped across her torso. She tried to control the nervous bouncing of her knees as she looked at her denim-clad legs, which ended in a pair of black combat boots. She adjusted the frame of her dark-rimmed glasses on top of her nose.

“Well, what more can I say. Just that perhaps, James Madison can be different compared to your past school in terms of diversity but I do try my best to be as helpful as possible. So, if you need any help adjusting here my door is open or you can always talk to our guidance counselor, Ms. Dickinson.” Mr. Hawkins explained.

“Thank you so much, sir.” Emma stood up to shake his hand.

“Remember, Emma, you can also talk to me, okay?” Mr. Hawkins emphasized as he was leading her out of his room.

Since Emma was paying attention to the principal, she was walking backwards as she withdrew from his office. She was not actually looking at where she was going and it was too late when she realized that she actually bumped into someone, quite hard that the documents the other person carried just flew out of her hands and was scattered all over the place.

“Shit!” Emma exclaimed. “I’m so sorry, I’m such a klutz.”

“It’s alright; I wasn’t paying attention as well. I’m sorry.” A soft melodic voice remarked.

Emma came to her senses as she looked up and was met by a pair of intense brown eyes. 

“Oh Alyssa, it’s you!” Principal Hawkins grasped.  

Emma was too busy helping the other girl with the strewn documents on the floor that she forgot for a second that there were other people in the room.

“Emma meet Alyssa Greene, our student government president. Alyssa, meet Emma Nolan she’s a new transfer here.” The principal made the introductions.

Alyssa extended her hand and Emma did not hesitate to shake it. Brown eyes locked with hazel ones, Emma managed a lopsided grin. She noticed how clammy Alyssa’s hand was, quite unusual for a girl who seemed to carry such an air of confidence. After the exchange of pleasantries, Emma scooped the last of the sheets on the floor and handed them to Alyssa.

As soon as all of the papers were haphazardly stacked on Alyssa’s arms, she stood up and greeted the principal. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Oh yeah, about the yearbook!” Principal Hawkins realized.

Emma was about to leave the room quietly, as not to make the situation anymore awkward when the principal called out behind her. “Hey Emma, can you wait for Alyssa? She can actually show you around before homeroom starts. Is that okay, Alyssa?” Mr. Hawkins asked the girl whose mind seemed to have drifted somewhere else.

Alyssa eventually realized that the principal was asking her a question. “Yes sir, no problem.”

“That’s the way towards the gym and the cafeteria is just down that hall.” Alyssa pointed out. “So, you’re Kevin’s cousin?” Alyssa actually did not know how to start the conversation with Emma after they were done with the quick tour of the campus. Emma was just quietly nodding at her all the time as she showed her around.   

She was walking side by side with Emma and she could not explain why the other girl made her so nervous. Perhaps it was her self-confidence; the swagger that she carried with her jacket, tight jeans, and boots ensemble. No other girl in James Madison High School dressed like Emma. No other girl had hair as short as Emma’s. No other girl had the sureness that Emma exuded, how she just openly cursed in front of the school principal carelessly. But Emma walked with certainty in her step and a sense of casualness. There was something interesting about Emma Nolan and that she just can’t pinpoint.

“Wow, he’s right, news does travel fast here.” Emma sneered.

“Sorry, I don’t mean it that way. Just figuring out a way to open a conversation.” Alyssa explained. “I’m actually friends with him.”

“Oh, so you’re part of the popular crowd.” Emma realized. “Of course, class president.” She chastised herself. How popular is Kevin in this school, anyway? To her he is just Kevin, her adorable cousin.

“Well, in retrospect, people did vote for me.” Alyssa tried to banter. She realized that Emma was witty and she could get along with that.

“Of course, they did.” Emma sniggered. “To answer your question, yup, I’m his cousin and if you don’t see the resemblance, it’s actually great for me. I don’t know if my cousin is some hotshot in this school but I would really like to keep a low profile, I’m so not like him or maybe the version of him in this school.”

“Well, sorry to say but this is going to be your school, too and Kevin is actually endearing, I think there’s some resemblance there.” Alyssa started to ramble.

Was this girl flirting with her or is she just being nice? Kevin said that there were no other gay kids at this school, this is probably just Emma’s imagination but she could not help but delve into some friendly banter as they walked towards homeroom. “Did you just say that I’m charming, too?”

Emma caught the faint blush on Alyssa’s face. “I said endearing, it can also mean that you’re polite, you know.” The brunette bantered back.

“Oh, a wordsmith, of course.” Emma laughed quietly.

Alyssa just smiled at her timidly. “Anyway, we’re here, this is homeroom. Are you ready to go in?” Alyssa motioned towards the heavy wooden door with a small glass window.

Emma could hear boisterous laughter coming from inside. Everyone in their class probably knew each other except for her. Some sense of anxiety started to creep in; perhaps this is not as easy as she initially thought. Perhaps the distress on her face was evident that she eventually felt Alyssa move closer towards her.

“Hey, are you okay?” Alyssa whispered. She could feel her breath next to her ear.

“I’m sorry, yeah, of course. You can go ahead.” Emma took a deep breath.

“Well, if you need anything, just let me know.” Alyssa reminded her with a timid smile. She paused at the door and gave Emma a shy smile before turning the lever.

As Alyssa opened the door, two girls waved at her enthusiastically. It seemed like they saved her a seat. The first one was a short brunette with a tight ponytail and big expressive eyes, she looked like an actual doll. The other one was a bit taller and had caramel skin just a tone darker than Alyssa’s. As Emma continued to search the room, she noticed that just in the girls’ vicinity, her cousin looked up from his desk and was smiling at her. He was seated beside a muscular boy with a mischievous smirk painted on his face; he wore a red snapback and a letterman jacket. Another blonde-haired boy who is almost as tall as Kevin sat with them. So, this was the crowd Kevin was talking about.

Emma scanned the room, there were two vacant seats left, one in the middle in front of Alyssa and the other one at a corner at the far end of the room. Alyssa looked at her expectantly; her gaze moved from the empty seat in front of her and towards Emma. The rest of the class either ignored or gave Emma wary looks. Emma decided to walk further inside the room and sat at the back. If her eyes did not deceive her, she saw Alyssa make a frown. Kevin just followed her with his stare. Emma took a deep breath as she took her seat. This is going to be a long year, she thought.   

As homeroom and their next couple of periods ended, Emma could not help but notice the eyes that observed her in many ways. These kids did not really dial down on the staring, others fixated their gaze at her like she was part of an exhibit, others had smirks on their faces, while others seemed to be just plain curious. Emma had managed to overcome every self-introduction that she made in her classes. As soon as she was directed by her teachers to sit down, she just minded her own business, taking down notes or doodling because well, she did not really pay much attention to math in third period. Her math book was immediately filled with ballpoint doodles on the corners of the pages. She liked drawing portraits and caricatures of people. No one minded her as the class went on. Not one of her seatmates bothered to talk to her. For her next classes, she either sat in front or smack in the middle along the line of sight of the teacher because those were usually the only seats left. As the bell rang signaling lunch break, all the other students were quick to file out of the room. Emma took her time; she was the last to leave the room.

“Hey Emma!” Finally, Kevin caught up with her as she was walking towards lunch. He was in a different class for third period. He draped an arm over her shoulder, he was wearing a maroon James Madison t-shirt that seemed to be a size smaller but it emphasized his physique, so, he just looked good in it.

“Why are people looking at me like I’m strange or something?” Emma looked around behind her shoulder.

“Because you are and you’re new and they are not used to new things, most of the kids here have known each other since kindergarten. You’re intriguing, it will die down eventually.” Kevin explained.

“Oh okay, I thought you didn’t want to be seen with me?” Emma wondered.

“That was stupid; anyway, everybody knows you’re my cousin now.” Kevin shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay.” Emma was confused.

“C’mon, join us for lunch. I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Kevin piped up. 

When they reached the lunch table, she realized that Alyssa was there, her eyes widened at the sight of Emma. The two girls that Alyssa sat with at homeroom where also there and they were already chatting aimlessly, both with plates of greens. The boy with the red snapback was munching on a burger and he was talking to the blonde boy who looked disinterested with his bowl of mac and cheese.

“Hey, everyone!” Kevin greeted nervously.

Everyone at the table looked at him, except for Alyssa who had her eyes locked on Emma.

“Meet my cousin, Emma. She just moved here from the city, she’s going to finish senior year with us.” Kevin put an arm over his cousin’s shoulder.

“Pleased to meet you, Emma. I’m Gregory Stiles, you can call me Greg.” The blonde-haired boy stood up and shook Emma’s hand. He looked sincere enough; his handshake was firm and surprisingly soft hands.

“Nick, everyone knows me, you should, too.” Nick had a cocky grin; he continued to take a bite of his burger.

“Yeah, though the teachers call him Nicholas Boomer, Jr.” Greg chuckled and Nick gave him a shove.

“I’m Kaylee and this is Shelby.” The girl greeted in a perky voice.

“And we’ve met earlier.” Alyssa added. Shelby and Kaylee gave her confused looks.

“Oh, we met at Hawkins’ office, she showed me around before class, new kid and all.” Emma explained on Alyssa’s behalf.

Kaylee continued to observe Alyssa; she seemed to be unusually quiet.

“So, what brings you to Edgewater?” Greg started to ask as Emma and Kevin sat down with their trays of food.

Emma noticed that the girls were eyeing her tray, where a carton of orange juice, a chicken sandwich, and an oatmeal cookie rested. Emma noticed that Alyssa was unenthusiastically poking at the same green salad that the two other girls were having.

“Emma is from the city but my aunt had some work abroad that’s why Emma needed to finish school here.” Kevin explained on her behalf.

“It must be devastating having to move on your senior year, the status you have established, the friends you left behind, or maybe a boyfriend that you left behind?” Kaylee assumed.

Emma took a deep breath before answering, she did not really cope well with some high-pressure social situations wherein people just pry on or assume things.

“I’m not really into status, well, I left a friend behind but we can always talk online.” Emma replied. “Also, no boyfriend, so no problem.” Emma noted that Alyssa locked eyes with her with that last statement.

“Oh” Kaylee deadpanned. Perhaps she expected more from Emma.

“So, what are you into, cheer? I hear that some squads in the city cut or shave their hair during competitions just to have that uniformed look.” Shelby motioned at Emma’s pixie cut. “Part of any team?”

“Oh, I say she surely does not play for your team, Shelbs. Maybe she’s more interested in those in the squad than being in the squad.” Nick interjected. “Get it?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Greg. Greg just smiled at him awkwardly. Alyssa glared at him.

Emma is fully aware of people like Nick, so as much as she would like to give him a piece of her mind. She knew that it would be senseless, so she decided to take the high road. “Well, I surely would play for the other team even if you’re the only option left in the world.”

Kevin caught on Emma’s joke and he tried to suppress his laughter. Greg and Alyssa just stared at her wide-eyed. No one has even stood up for themselves in front of Nicholas Boomer, Jr. before.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nick narrowed his eyes at Emma.

“Well, that was fun while it lasted.” Emma immediately stood up as not to bring any more attention towards herself. “I’ll see you around, Kev.” She ruffled her cousin’s hair playfully. She lifted her tray and tried to look for an empty table.

Alyssa was just astonished at what she had witnessed.

“Are you sure, she’s your cousin?” Nick pressed at Kevin.

“She’s a clever one.” Kevin just shrugged his shoulders.

“I know she’s family but she seems like trouble, Kev.” Kaylee remarked.

Alyssa looked at Emma’s retreating form. Yes, she looked like trouble, but probably, the kind that Alyssa has been waiting for all along.

Chapter Text

After the mild tiff with Nick, Emma tried to finish her meal as peacefully as possible, further ignoring the prying eyes of the students of James Madison High School.

“Never saw anyone stood up to him before.” A girl with thick framed glasses, shoulder length wavy hair, and olive skin sat across her. She had this pleased glint in her eyes. She was wearing a grey sweater over a white shirt and denim slim fit pants.

“I beg your pardon?” Emma raised an eyebrow at the stranger.

“I meant Nick, I never saw anyone stand up to him before, not even those in his posse.” The girl replied.

“Well, they should, especially when he is being a bully.” Emma scoffed.

“I’m sorry about that.” The girl apologized.

“Why are you apologizing for his sake? Are you his girlfriend or something?” Emma wondered.

“Oh god, no!” The girl laughed. “Well, I could say that we’re somehow related. Lillianna Boomer.” She extended her hand.

“Emma Nolan.” Emma shook her hand. “Wait, Boomer? You’re related to Nick?” Emma narrowed her eyes. “Sorry, but I don’t see the likeness and I don’t mean physically because families can look whatever way they look like now.” Emma explained. “It’s just if my gut is right; it’s just telling me that you don’t share the same values.”  

“Actually, that’s good to hear.” Lillianna laughed quietly. “You see, my mom married his dad a couple of years ago. Let’s say I was the new kid back then.”

“Huh, that’s interesting.” Emma was still dumbfounded.

“Boomer doesn’t roll off the tongue easily; I guess I liked Morales better. But Boomer helps me fit in; kids don’t mess with me because of Nick and my stepdad.” Lillianna explained.

“I guess that helps with name recall.” Emma joked.

“Well, at best, it makes me as Nick Boomer’s adopted sister. Sometimes it does sound like I’m a rescue pet though, not really as honorific as it sounds.” Lillianna bantered.

“Boomer is not as honorific as it sounds.” Emma chuckled.

“It’s nice to meet you, Emma.” Lillianna extended her hand.

“Likewise.” Emma shook her hand quite eagerly. She had a feeling that Lillianna may actually become her friend. 

Before anyone could say anything more, the bell rang signaling the start of the next period.

“I have art for next period.” Emma gathered her things.

“Well, what are the odds, Nolan, I think we’re in the same class.” Lillianna got up, swinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Lead the way then.” Emma mocked a bow.

As Emma and Lillianna left the lunch hall, a set of observant eyes could not help but notice the growing connection between the two girls. Despite her denial, Alyssa’s brown eyes were turning a bit green as she walked with Kaylee and Shelby to their next class.

“So, what else are you into besides being a good artist?” Lillianna mumbled as she and Emma exited the art room after their class.

Lillianna could not help but observe that Emma’s freehand sketches of found objects were actually quite good.

“I like photography.” Emma replied nonchalantly as she swung her bag over her shoulder. “But who doesn’t?”

“What do you mean by that?” Lillianna pondered.

“I mean nowadays, phones have cameras, apps have filters, and anyone can take photographs.” Emma explained.

“But I don’t think those photos can be as good as yours.” Lillianna bumped their shoulders lightly as she beamed at Emma.  

Just like that, Emma’s mind started to reel. Was Lillianna flirting with her? Surely, she could not put too much thought into the actions of every girl she encounters. She can sense if people are just nice or the tone could mean something else but she cannot always assume.

“You haven’t even seen them yet.” Emma reasoned.

“I can guess, I mean I think you got that artist eye no matter the medium.” Lillianna disputed.

“You have only known me for half a day.” Emma chuckled.

“Oh, trust me, I can tell. I also have that eye, Nolan.” Lillianna winked at her.

What did she even mean by that? Emma wondered to herself.

“So, what do you think of Emma and the stunt she pulled on Nick?” Greg was walking home with Alyssa. His blonde hair glistened under the glow of the setting sun; it made him look like the Greek god, Apollo.

Contrary to what Alyssa had expected, Kaylee was not able to give her a ride after cheer tryouts because she needed to go somewhere with Nick. If Alyssa knew any better, they were just too restless because they have not seen each other almost the entire summer, they are probably parked somewhere just making out. As Alyssa had started walking home, it was coincidental that so was Greg after Nick ditched him for Kaylee as well. So, that is how they ended walking home together. If you ask Alyssa, her feelings for Greg had always been strangely platonic. It is like, they agreed on so many things, yet it felt too uncomfortable to be taken to the next level. Though Greg was very attractive, Alyssa had never been drawn to him not even a tingle even if he flashes his mega-watt smile at Alyssa. But they maintained their closeness, suggesting to everyone else that they were dating. Greg never said anything about the topic yet and he seems to be just contented with this interaction. Perhaps because it is so convenient that it actually drives people off their backs. The kids at their school sees their friend group as some reality teen drama or something. That they would all pair off and date each other because they are some of the most popular kids at school. But Alyssa hopes that no matter where Greg stands in this situation, she just prays that he does not catch any feelings for her because that would just be too messy. Maybe she will confront him one day but they still have time and this has been easy.

“What about it?” Alyssa sniggered.

“I know Nick is a bit slow sometimes but I never saw anyone get back at him for so long. Oh well, maybe except for the very drunk Shelby at this party one time.” Greg held on to the straps of his backpack. He had a navy blue shirt over a grey undershirt.

“She’s interesting, isn’t she?” Alyssa did not realize that she had this smile on her face.

“So, Alyssa Greene finally finds someone interesting?” She suddenly caught Greg’s curiosity.

“I’m just stating facts, well, she’s new, so she’s bound to be enigmatic…” Alyssa suddenly rambled on.

“C’mon Lys, I’m only teasing but she does have this city-girl spunk.” Greg realized.

“I bet her last school is so different from ours.” Alyssa muttered.

“Yeah, she just has this air of confidence in her. I also like the way she carries herself, she’s just unapologetically comfortable.” Greg was balancing himself on the curb now as he walked.

“Unapologetically comfortable, I like that.” Alyssa repeated.

“I just think that in some alternate universe, maybe the three of us could be good friends.” Greg gathered.

“Why do you think so?” Alyssa was interested in what Greg was about to say.

“I just feel like we may be like in the same wavelength, I understand her sarcasm, I want to get to know her more. I mean that beats anything than being stuck in a conversation with Nick Boomer, eight hours a day for five days a week and sometimes more.” Greg puffed.

Alyssa felt bizarre; she felt her stomach flutter at the thought of Emma. But how Greg was casually talking about how interested he was with Emma was something she resented. She thought about Emma the same way but she just feels like she could not talk about her as Greg could.

“Do you like her?” Alyssa suddenly stopped on her tracks.

Greg continued walking but he looked back at Alyssa when he realized that she was stationary. There was an impish grin plastered on his face. “Are you jealous, Alyssa Greene?”

“What?” Alyssa slurred.

“Well, for starters, I just met her.” Greg alleged. “Also, I’m not that kind of guy.”

“What kind of guy?” Alyssa played around.

“The type who easily gets smitten.” Greg replied in jest.

“So, you don’t think Emma Nolan is pretty?” Alyssa probed.

“Do you think she’s pretty?” Greg returned the question.

This actually caught Alyssa dumbfounded. She stopped in her tracks.

“Girls can find other girls pretty, Lys.” Greg explained casually.

“Do guys find other guys good-looking?” Alyssa caught her senses and bounded with Greg’s own logic.

“Well, I guess so, I think Keannu Reeves is handsome and he’s up to this level.” He gestured with his hand. “He’s an aspiration.”

“Okay.” Alyssa nodded.

“I answered your question, now, you answer mine.” Greg prompted.

“If I say that Emma Nolan is attractive, it’s like saying that Kevin is attractive.” Alyssa continued with her repartee. “I guess it’s different when you say attractive because then you are attracted to that person. But then can you just judge beauty without actually being attracted?”

“I know that they are cousins, Lys. Why is this suddenly so complicated?” Greg pointed out. “By my question is, do you find Emma pretty?”

“In a standard, female opinion?” Alyssa fumbled for words.

“Is there any other type of opinion on the matter?” Greg joked.

“Well, I guess she is.” Alyssa almost choked on her words.

“Going back to our conversation, we have decided that Emma Nolan is pretty but that doesn’t mean that I’m automatically attracted to her. Your words not mine.” Greg winked at Alyssa.

Whatever the point of their conversation was, Alyssa was already lost in thought. She did find Emma Nolan pretty but that does not mean she is attracted to her, right? Especially since, she is a girl.

Alyssa was thankful that Greg dropped the topic that was Emma Nolan for the rest of their walk home. 

“So, how’s the first day at James Madison?” Emma was already lying on her bed, out of her jacket and talking to her best friend, Marcus on FaceTime. 

“Apparently, I’m a basket case at this place.” Emma mumbled.

“That bad, huh?” Marcus was walking around his house; Emma could only see the top of his messy brown hair on screen. It stood up like peacock feathers sometimes but Marcus loved that, he liked the unwanted attention from time to time.

“Quit moving around, dork. I’m getting dizzy.” Emma remarked.

“I’m just getting a snack, I’m hungry.” Marcus replied. “Anyway, how about your classes? Are they good? Mr. Barlow’s reading list is interesting, we will be reading Alighieri this term.” Marcus sounded excited.

“No way! I heard that he used to ask his students to draw their own visual interpretation of the circles of hell!” Emma was envious. “I have my English class tomorrow and we have Shakespeare and more Shakespeare.” Emma was not so ecstatic.

“We’re also making a comparative reading of Don Quixote and Catcher in the Rye.” Marcus added as Emma could hear him munch on a cracker. 

“Oh, can you give me that list? I’m not so thrilled about Romeo and Juliet.” Emma shared.

“Just because it’s heteronormative doesn’t mean it’s no longer romantic. You’re a sucker for romance, Em.” Marcus teased.

“Scorned lovers, feuding families, can’t we all just make things easier? Why does it always have to be so tragic?” Emma complained.

“Aren’t lesbians into that type of romance?” Marcus badgered.

“There’s unrequited love and masochism, that’s the typical lesbian period drama formula. Anyway, stop stereotyping us, be a better ally and look into those painted in a better light. Not all stories should be tragic, it’s like you’re telling me that I’ll never be happy in life, ever.” Emma countered.

“Okay, as your official lesbro, I hope that you meet another hot lesbian who has the same convictions and is willing to have your adopted or test-tube babies someday.” Marcus chuckled.

“You’re hopeless, Marc and so inappropriate. Your parents should teach you better manners.” Emma bantered.

“Anyway, so new school, new people, anyone interesting?” Marcus pried.

As soon as Marcus asked the question, Emma was reminded of Alyssa Greene. Her expressive dark brown eyes, her cascading dark hair, and her uptight demeanor. Emma cannot help but think that there is more to this girl than just being the student council president.

“Hey, earth to Emma are you still there?” Marcus called her attention.

“Yeah, yeah, still here…” Emma almost zoned out.

“Houston we have a problem! So there is someone interesting? What’s her name?” Marcus inquired.

“I’m not telling, for all I know you’re ready to look for her on social media.” Emma predicted.

“You know perfectly well that to be able to maintain this long distance relationship you should give me visuals to keep me interested, right?” Marcus spelled out.

“You’re so obscene! Anyway, I think she’s straight though and probably has a boyfriend, so maybe not worth your time.” Emma made an excuse.

“I think I’ll be the judge of that.” Marcus chuckled on the other line.

“Don’t be creepy; I don’t even follow her on Instagram, yet. It’s just the first day of school.” Emma chastised.

“She’s your cousin’s friend, right? Go look her up on Kevin’s account.” Marcus urged. 

“I don’t even know if she’s on Instagram.” Emma muttered.

“So, you have every intention of following her?” Marcus pestered.

“Shut up, Marc!” Emma huffed.  

“Well, except for your cousin and this mysterious girl, tell me if there is someone I should worry about? Someone who might displace me in the best friend category?” Marcus razzed.

“Oh, there’s this girl in my art class, Lillianna.” Emma remembered the girl who came up to her. Lillianna was just cheery and they laughed at the same jokes. Emma thought that there is at least another friendly face in James Madison aside from her cousin and Alyssa.

“So, is this Lillianna, cute?” Marcus inquired.

“She actually has a great sense of humor; I think we could be friends.” Emma thought sheepishly.

“You did not answer my question.” Marcus chuckled. “But, wow, it’s only your first day and you’re breaking hearts!”

“What’s wrong with you? I just said that I made a friend.” Emma pointed out. “Plus, I don’t think kids in James Madison swing my way.”

“What makes you say that?” Marcus looked concerned.

“I just have that feeling.” Emma sighed.

“Well, it only has been a day, just coast along. If someone does bully you for simply being you, just give me a call and…” Marcus flexed his skinny limbs.

“And what?” Emma raised an eyebrow.

“And Kevin can show them who they are dealing with.” Marcus laughed. “Anyway, if people start to become, well, you know, unkind. You do know that I’m only a phone call away, right?” There was a deeper context to Marcus’ statement. 

“I know,” Emma exhaled. “Thank you, Marc.”

“Anytime, dork.” Marcus saluted. “I miss you already.”

“I miss you, too.” Emma mustered as smile.

Emma marched towards the garage; her grandmother had asked her to call her grandfather for dinner.

“Hey Pops, dinner time.” Emma entered the cluttered garage. Emma noticed that her grandfather’s sedan was out in the driveway and there was a red 1989 Dodge Ram past the roll up.

George Nolan with greasy arms and hands emerged behind pickup truck.

“You seem busy?” Emma observed.

“Oh, I fixed up the bike.” George pointed at his old black Raleigh Roadster that he restored for Emma.

“Wow Pops, this looks shiny and new.” Emma was stunned. Its mechanical front light and her grandfather’s old leather bag were even in better condition.

“I think that should do while I fix this up.” George looked proud of his handiwork.

“Fix what up?” Emma wondered.

“I got this baby from my friend, Carl. It has been sitting in his garage for a while. Always thought of buying it off him, and I finally did. I think this old girl might do you some good.” George winked at Emma.

“You got this truck for me?” Emma looked stunned.

“Well, Kevin’s not always there to give you a ride. Plus, grandma and I can send you for errands then. You do have your license already, right?” George inquired.

Emma just nodded enthusiastically.

“It might take me a couple of weeks or so, some parts I need to look for and order in the computer but I think she’ll be ready soon.” George gave the hood a light tap.

“Pops, it think the bicycle would have been enough.” Emma pointed out. 

“Nonsense, child, like I said, we’ll send you for errands. Also, this gives me something to do, this isn’t just for you, you know.” George winked.

“Thank you, Pops!” Emma gave her grandfather a tight hug.

Moments like these makes Emma miss her mother more, but she was glad that she had loving grandparents, she felt lucky.

Chapter Text

When Emma was in her English class the following day, she had mixed feelings whether she would feel delighted or rueful when she saw two familiar faces enter the room. She knew that she did not give the best impression at lunch yesterday. Alyssa and Shelby were discussing something when they spotted Emma seated at the back corner of the classroom. Alyssa looked delighted by the way her eyes glowed but Shelby just gave her a passive wave.

Before Emma could say anything to both of them, both girls found seats at the middle of the classroom when their teacher arrived. He wore a black sweater vest over his checkered shirt and he had a skip on his step.

“Good morning class, I am Mr. Barry Glickman as most of you know already and I believe we have a newcomer among us.” Mr. Glickman looked at his records. “Is Emma Nolan here?”

Again, Emma did not like social situations, which put her in the spot, but she was indeed new and she needed to introduce herself to Mr. Glickman.

“Here, sir!” Emma raised her hand and suddenly all the attention was directed towards her once again. She had never felt so conscious in her striped t-shirt and black loose dungarees combo.

“Welcome Emma, I hope you are adjusting well.” Mr. Glickman remarked.

“Better than I hoped, sir.” Emma responded right away.

“That’s good to know, I hope it stays that way.” Mr. Glickman’s statement seemed to have an underlying meaning but Emma did not dwell on that. “Anyway, moving on, did any one of you touch anything on the reading list that I recommended this summer?”

All the other students looked around first but only Alyssa and Shelby plus two other students that she did not recognize raised their hands.

“Hmm, as expected,” Mr. Glickman took note. “So, who can talk about The Animal Farm by George Orwell?”

Even before Mr. Glickman was finished with his question, Emma spotted Alyssa raising her hand. Mr. Glickman acknowledged her right away like he expected it. 

Alyssa cleared her throat. “It’s a 1945 novel about different animals set in the Manor Farm. It actually symbolizes communism, Russia, and the Soviet Union.” Alyssa answered.

Emma knew the book; she read it once.

“Thank you for the summary, Alyssa.” Mr. Glickman acknowledged. “But what is it really about?”

The students looked at each other; they did not know what Mr. Glickman was looking for.

With some hesitation, Emma raised her hand.

“I’m not aware that you knew the reading assignment, Emma.” Mr. Glickman acknowledged.

“My mother owns a copy, sir. I read it and she explained some things to me.” Emma clarified. Mr. Glickman just nodded for her to continue. Emma cleared her throat before speaking up; Alyssa and Shelby were looking intently at her. “If I remembered it correctly, it does not just talk about communism as Alyssa raised.” Emma tried her best not to appear like a know-it-all. “Generally, it opened the models of capitalist and socialist societies as well. That we all aspire for a utopian society but it cannot exist as long as leaders become power hungry or corrupt, leading to fascism. That is the heart of the story, we look into humanity and how we should rule with kindness and that we could only achieve utopia with fairness and equality and looking at society now, how we fear people who are different from us, makes this model as nothing but a dream.”

Mr. Glickman was quiet after Emma spoke but she knew that he was somehow convinced of her answer. Emma looked at Shelby and she saw nothing in her eyes but an ignited competitive spirit. Emma looked at Alyssa and the other girl was nodding, seemingly agreeing to what she just said. Perhaps her English class was going to be interesting after all.

Emma approached Mr. Glickman after the class and he excitedly gave her a list of the readings that he assigned last summer, prompting Emma to play catch up. Emma smirked when she realized that half of the list were either books that she had read before from her mother’s library or readings discussed from her previous school. Emma was looking at the list when she exited the room but she was surprised when someone was waiting for her outside.

“Hey!”

“Oh hi,” Emma realized that it was Alyssa Greene, dressed in a pink sweater and jeans. Only Alyssa could make such a simple outfit look like a standout in Emma’s eyes. She did not dress like the other girls, she was mostly in the casual jeans and shirt category but how she carried herself exuded a flair of confidence.

“You seem to be into this class.” Alyssa pointed out.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep like that,” Emma was referring to her smart-ass recitation move. “I’m just into reading, plus, my mom always encouraged me to read.”

“Oh that, actually, that was impressive.” Alyssa admitted. “No one really talks in class, except for the exchange of ideas between me and Shelby. I saw Mr. Glickman’s eyes light up when he realized that one more student was interested.”

“Yeah, I think he’s great, he manages to relate concepts to things that we actually understand.” Emma added.

“He’s always like that; I don’t think he really likes me, though. Says I’m too by the book that I’m like Spark Notes or CliffsNotes, I don’t even understand him sometimes.” Alyssa chuckled.

“Well, are you?” Emma wondered.

“Look in my defense; I don’t really get to discuss the stuff I read with anyone, that’s why I have this tendency to take it as it is. Mr. Glickman though, he tries his best to help me interpret. But it’s not like I can talk about this with my mom or Shelby. Shelby only sees me as competition.” Alyssa explained.

“Oh, maybe we should start a book club then?” Emma teased.

“Really?” Alyssa’s eyes widened, she didn’t realize that Emma was just joking.

But Emma did not want to bring her down. “Sure, why not. It’s not such a bad idea.” Emma realized that she had put herself on the spot.

“So, what should we talk about first?” Alyssa was eyeing the list on Emma’s hand.

“Well, we can talk about books here but how about we start with books for leisure first, something fun.” Emma suggested as she tossed the list inside her sling bag. “Not everything should be about school. Uhm, I have all the Harry Potter books.”

Alyssa’s grin had reached her ears. Emma Nolan had never looked more attractive after that remark.

How Emma got herself in this situation, she never knew.

“So, you and Alyssa Greene are friends?” Lillianna looked up from her work. They were in art class that afternoon and their teacher asked them to draw a basket of fruits on a pedestal in the middle of the room. The lesson was about still-life drawing, light, shadows, and texture. Emma’s drawing board was edged beside Lillianna’s.

“Oh, we have English together. We’re actually going over a reading list.” Emma explained without looking up from her sketch.

“Is the boy who lived part of Mr. Glickman’s reading list?” Lillianna asked as she noticed Alyssa and Emma hanging out at the library a couple of days ago.

“Why, Lillianna Boomer, are you a stalker?” Emma joked.

“The library is a public place and I happen to have a good eye in identifying book covers.” Lillianna reasoned.

“I don’t know, I think it just so happens that we read the same books.” Emma shrugged her shoulders.

“I read books too, you know.” Lillianna mocked. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Emma realized that Lillianna was trying to imply something.

“It’s just that, my brother and his friend group, they don’t mix things up. Sure, Kevin is your cousin and Nick is my step-brother but you know the reason why we don’t hang out with them freely.” Lillianna enlightened. “You don’t want the spotlight on you, Em.”

“What do you mean by they don’t mix things up?” Emma furrowed her brows as she continued shading a piece of fruit with her pencil.

“Don’t you get the equation, Em? Nick is to Kaylee as Kevin is to Shelby and that leaves…” Lillianna gave her a knowing look.

“Greg is to Alyssa.” Emma whispered.

“You’re smart after all, Nolan.” Lillianna smirked.

“But I’m only friends with her, how does that play into the equation?” Emma challenged.

“I know it’s bad for me to assume but I see that look in your face, Em. You don’t hide it well.” Lillianna grinned.

“How?” Emma paused from her task giving Lillianna a knowing look.

“Trust me, Em. I know one when I see one.” Lillianna sneered.

Emma was playing video games with Kevin the following Saturday afternoon at the Shields’ living room. Kevin’s parents were both out for work and his brothers were also nowhere to be found, the cousins had the house to themselves.

“Hey Kev, are Alyssa and Greg dating?” Emma just blurted out. Trying to be loud enough for Kevin to hear her behind all the noise of the gunshots coming from their game.  

“Why? Do you like Greg?” Kevin teased without taking his eyes off the TV screen.

“Ha ha very funny.” Emma retorted as she focused on killing more zombies on screen.

“Oh, you’re into Alyssa!” Kevin realized and as soon as he cried that out, his character died because he lost concentration.

“It’s not like that!” Emma denied, pausing the game.

“Look,” Kevin turned to his cousin. “I’m not really certain about Greg and Alyssa’s deal but they have been around each other since sophomore year. They went to dances together. Greg sometimes walks her home. Nothing is official but I guess it’s the same with me and Shelby, perhaps the feelings are mutual.”

“Oh,” Emma tried to digest everything he said. So, Alyssa was off-limits, not that she thought she had a chance with her to begin with. “So, I guess Lillianna was right, your entire friend group does go in pairs.”

“Well, everybody seems happy.” Kevin grinned. “Also, I think Alyssa is straight so maybe you shouldn’t tap that. Plus, I don’t want to choose between you and Greg.”

“Don’t jump into conclusions, dude. It’s not like that.” Emma shoved her cousin.

“But Lillianna Boomer on the other hand, I think is a different story.” Kevin smirked. “I always wondered…”

“What about her?” Emma speculated.

“Let’s say, Nick has always clamored how she’s not graceful enough.” Kevin recalled.

“It’s Nick who has a problem, he’s head is full of pigeon-holes. Who says girls should just be dainty?” Emma spoke with air quotes. “Why are you even friends with that guy?”

“Well, I’m in the basketball team; we are sort of obligated to get along with our captain.” Kevin explained. “Plus, I’ve known him since kindergarten.”

“Even if he’s such an ass?” Emma speculated.

“Yes, Em. It’s a team game, so, even if the captain is such an ass.” Kevin chuckled.

“You deserve better friends.” Emma rested her head on her cousin’s shoulder. She was always comfortable around Kevin. He never made her feel like much of a weirdo.

“Like you said, one more year.” Kevin sighed.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine watching the store while I am gone? Grandpa will be around for closing.” Betsy inquired from a sleepy Emma.

It was a cloudy Sunday afternoon and Betsy had requested Emma to watch the bookstore for her while she meets up with an old colleague who was just visiting Edgewater.

“I’ll be fine, Gran. Enjoy the rest of your day.” Emma waved her grandmother off. It had been a slow day at the bookstore, just a couple of regulars who made book orders, a mother and her three-year-old son, and an awkward middle-schooler visited the store so far.

“Everything in the bargain bin is just worth a dollar; all of these books have orange stickers on the cover.” Betsy explained once more.

“I’ll be fine, Gran. I’ve been around books for quite some time.” Emma pronounced.  

“Call me if you need anything.” Betsy reminded as she exited the store.

“Bye, Gran!” Emma waved.

As soon as the bells of the store’s door jingled signaling Betsy’s departure, Emma went back to reading a Stephen King novel. She flipped the page that she dog-eared and slumped back onto the chair behind the counter. But before Emma could relax, the bells of the front door jingled again.

“Forgot something, Gran?” Emma muttered, not bothering to look up from her book.

“I never did like horror novels.” A familiar voice uttered from the other side of the counter.

As Emma looked up, she was met by a familiar set of brown eyes. Alyssa Greene beamed at her; she was wearing a navy blue Sunday dress with white floral prints that accentuated her toned arms. Emma was shell-shocked, she felt under-dressed in her cream-colored sweater and denim pants. 

“What is it about?” Alyssa asked despite Emma’s silence.

“About a popular writer and a psychotic fan.” Emma muttered as she realigned her eyeglasses.

“That sounds violent.” Alyssa gathered.

“It is and that’s the best part of the thriller.” Emma smirked.

“Come to think of it, it actually makes sense why you’re such a bookworm; your grandmother actually owns a bookstore.” Alyssa giggled to herself. Emma realized how much she liked hearing that laugh.

“Yeah, bookworm, four-eyes, it always sounded a bit humiliating but not coming from you.” Emma remarked.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Em. I kind of get you. I mean sometimes people do tease me that, too. Always felt like being good or interested at something is a sin.” Alyssa commented.  

“Like, can they use more flashy words like bibliophile, instead?” Emma laughed.

“You can’t count of them to think of that, they don’t read, remember?” Alyssa bantered back.

They just stared at each other for a moment before Emma realized how weird that must have been for Alyssa.

“You look overdressed for book shopping.” Emma pointed out.

“Oh, sorry, I just came from church.” Alyssa replied. “Mom is just picking up some stuff at the grocer’s, so I thought I could look around the bookstore since we’re at Main Street.”

“That makes sense.” Emma smiled meekly. “So, how can I help you, ma’am?”

“You’re really taking this shopkeeper role seriously.” Alyssa laughed.

“Since I have no other customers, you have my full attention.” Emma beamed. “Gran said I should always be polite to customers. Do you come here often? She gives special discounts to regulars, you know.” Emma implied.

“Actually, I came to pick up a book order.” Alyssa’s voice suddenly seemed lower.

“Oh yeah, she does that.” Emma realized. “Let me check. You got your order form?” Emma slumped in front of the computer and Alyssa slid a small piece of paper towards her. Being one of the few bookshops in Edgewater, Betsy sometimes orders books online for her patrons, especially those who cannot be bothered with online shopping.

“So, what else do you read aside from Harry Potter?” Emma was looking into Alyssa’s order. Emma smirked when the book title came up. “I thought you don’t like thriller novels?” Alyssa ordered Rita Mae Brown’s Wish You Were Here.

“It’s not as crazy violent as the ones you read. Plus, the main characters are usually cats.” Alyssa pointed out.

Emma was scanning the shelves for Alyssa’s book. “So, you like cats.” Emma smirked as she proceeded to wrap the book in brown paper. Betsy taught Emma how to wrap books in paper using this Japanese technique where you just end up using a single piece of tape.

Alyssa has been observing her carefully, quite impressed with Emma’s gift-wrapping abilities. “Yes, I like cats, they always look inquisitive but I am not allowed to keep one, I’m allergic, so I just read about them.” Alyssa answered. “You actually wrap the books the same way Betsy does.” Alyssa noted.

“Well, it’s part of the training as store clerk.” Emma joshed as she handed the book to Alyssa. “That would be 7.29.” Alyssa handed eight dollars to Emma’s waiting hand.

As soon as Emma dispensed Alyssa’s change, someone else walked into the store. She was a middle-aged woman in a pantsuit carrying a brown paper bag. 

“Alyssa, dear, are you done?” She looked around and Emma realized that she was Alyssa’s mother.

“Almost done, mom.” Alyssa called out as Mrs. Greene approached the counter.  

“You must be Eliza’s daughter.” Mrs. Greene presumed. She had this stern demeanor that made Emma nervous. Emma also noted that Mrs. Greene seemed to identify more with her mother rather than her grandparents.

“Yes, ma’am I am. I’m Emma Nolan.” Emma managed a modest smile.

“You do look a lot like Eliza, except for the hazel eyes, hers are blue.” Mrs. Greene indicated. “I used to go to school with your mom.”

“Emma is also in my year, mom.” Alyssa supplemented. “She is the new student I told you about.” Emma noticed how much Alyssa’s bearings had changed, her back seemed straighter, her tone more formal. 

“Well, your mother has always been an interesting character and I think you probably are, too.” Emma did not know what Mrs. Greene meant by that statement.

“I don’t think I’m as remarkable as my mother.” Emma took a deep breath.

“She’s in Doctors Without Borders, right?” Mrs. Greene inquired. Emma just nodded in acknowledgement. “Eliza has always been selfless, free-thinking, liberated but heroic.” Mrs. Green paused for a moment. “You look like one, unconventional…” She focused on Emma’s hair. “…progressive.” She grinned.

“Uhm, I think so.” Emma did not know how to react to that.

Alyssa looked petrified but she never said a word.

“Well, then, Emma, send my regards to your mother; it was nice meeting you.” Mrs. Greene stated with a lingering glare at Emma. “Shall we?” Mrs. Greene turned towards Alyssa.

“Yes, mom.” Alyssa muttered.

As Alyssa and Mrs. Greene exited the store, Alyssa just gave Emma an apologetic look before heading out. Emma just scratched her head, wondering what just happened.

Chapter Text

“So, that was Eliza Nolan’s daughter.” Mrs. Greene stated as she drove them home from Main Street.

“Were you friends with Emma’s mother? I did not know that you were in the same class before. Kevin said that Emma used to spend summers here but I never met her until now.” Alyssa was curious.

“Eliza, Emma’s mother was a force to be reckoned with. When we were younger, she had all these big ideas, feminism, putting an end to patriarchy, she’s a character.” Mrs. Greene described.

“I think Emma is a bit like that, clever, full of ideas.” Alyssa pressed her lips. She did not know how her mother would take that in.

“Eliza was happy to move in to the big city. Well, who could blame her that was apt for her?” Mrs. Greene still had her full attention on the road. “If you ask me, big city, big ideas, those people think they know it all. Then, they come strutting back waving their liberal views in front of other people’s faces.”

Alyssa remained quiet, her mother seem to have so much to say about Emma and her mother.

“But it does not always work that way. Sure, people here are always up to hounding each other but that keeps people in check. The city is crazy Alyssa, anything goes, and there is too much chaos, disorder, immorality, you should be careful. Your foundations will only be shaken if you allow yourself to be thumped by other people. If that girl is anything like her mother then I suggest you keep her at arm’s length.” Mrs. Greene warned.

“Emma seems nice, we talk about our readings in English, and she has great ideas.” Alyssa knew that her mother was always partial to something academic.

“There is too much turmoil in this world, Alyssa; I’m trying to protect you from that. People can be unkind, they can hurt you.” Mrs. Greene cautioned. 

“Emma seems harmless, mom.” Alyssa opposed.

“You’re still kids, you’ll find out more about the world when you grow up. For now, just be careful who you trust and believe, okay?” Mrs. Greene’s demeanor softened. “Emma might be a good friend to you but I don’t think people around here will easily accept her and her views and you are placing yourself within the firing range.”

Alyssa could only nod in agreement, what did her mother mean by that?

“Do you know that Kevin is part of this popular clique at school?” Emma was snacking on a bag of chips in her grandparents’ living room as she talked to her mother on the phone after she got home from the bookstore.  

“Well, he’s my sister’s son; trust her spawn to also grow up a conformist.” Eliza Nolan chuckled from the other end of the line. “Plus, Kevin’s is cute; it’s expected for him to be in the popular crowd.”

“Are you saying I’m ugly, mother? That is why I’m a wallflower?” Emma joked.

“I said no such thing!” Eliza countered. “Your beauty does not fit the conventions of laypeople.” Eliza jested.

“So, you just said that I’m ugly.” Emma pointed out.

“You’re perfect!” Eliza exclaimed. “Except for your poor eyesight.”

“Yeah, because if you say that I’m ugly, then you’re ugly, too because I look so much like you.” Emma joked.

“I love every fiber of your being, daughter of mine.” Eliza chuckled.

“I love you, too, mom.” Emma replied. “Oh, before I forget, Mrs. Greene sends her regards.”

“Greene?” Eliza established. “Are we talking about Veronica Greene?”

“I think so.” Emma assumed. “Her daughter Alyssa is in my class.”

“Oh, right, you’re the same age as Ronnie’s daughter.” Eliza noted.

“Ronnie?” Emma sounded amused. She never thought that her mother was so familiar with Alyssa’s mother.

“Yeah, Ronnie was head cheerleader in our year.” Eliza shared.

“Oh, that makes sense, Alyssa is in the squad as well as student council president, debate team member, and she has a lot going on. Is it genetic?” Emma was curious.

“Well, Ronnie was prom queen but she wasn’t council president.” Eliza elaborated.

“Oh, so she was not actually everywhere, not like Alyssa is.” Emma muttered. “Who was council president during your time if not Mrs. Greene?”

“You’re talking to her, dum dum.” Eliza sounded proud. “Student council president and school paper editor in chief, nobody expected that I would end up being a surgeon.”

“Wow, so you were a popular kid, too?” Emma realized.

“If that is how you put it, people hated my guts back then, too overwhelmed with the feminism and all.” Eliza laughed. “Some people even thought that your sperm donor of a father left me because I was too egalitarian and unconventional, that I wasn’t a fit wife. People forget of what an ass he turned out in the end. Anyway, how is Ronnie? Does she still have a stick up her ass?”

“She scares me.” Emma admitted.

“Oh, don’t be scared of Ronnie Greene. The woman can appear quite conservative sometimes but she means well. She’s someone that you can reason with. Are you friends with her daughter?” Eliza probed.

Emma was actually caught off guard. She was sure they were friends but she could not hide things from her mother, even through a phone call.

“You’re silence means something, I know you, Emma Nolan!” Eliza teased. “She’s pretty isn’t she?”

“No, well, she’s good-looking…” Emma stammered. “But she’s smart and we sometimes study together. She gets me.”

“Does my daughter have a crush?” Eliza sing-songed.

“Mom, please, I don’t have a crush with every girl I’m friends with.” Emma denied.

“If she’s Ronnie’s daughter, then I take it that she’s pretty, especially since she used to be married to Robert Cooper. They were the it couple of our generation, the head cheerleader and star of the baseball team.” Eliza commented.

So, Alyssa was indeed a legacy of high school royalty, no wonder her mother has put so much pressure on her. Therefore, it just made sense that Alyssa is in the same crowd her parents were.

“But is she straight? Remember what I said about crushing on straight girls?” Eliza reminded her daughter.

“They’ll only break your heart or treat you like an experiment.” Emma chanted. “Look, I don’t have a crush on Alyssa Greene.” Emma continued to deny. “There’s nothing to worry about,” Or so she thought.

“Look, I’m just glad that you’re still open to me when it comes to these things.” Eliza stated. “Promise you’ll still talk to me about anything.”

“Yes, mom.” Emma settled.

“Alright then, I have to go, love. A new shipment of medical supplies just arrived. Send my love to Gran and Pops!” Eliza remarked. “Also, send my regards back to Ronnie!”

“Sure, mom.” If I ever stumble upon her again, Emma thought. Veronica Greene’s presence can just be quite unnerving.  

Maybe ever’body in the whole damn world is scared of each other.

Mr. Glickman scribbled on the board with his loopy handwriting.

“This is a quote from this week’s reading, Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men. Now, who can tell me what this means?” Mr. Glickman turned towards the class.

The students gave each other perceptive glares; they were used to Mr. Glickman’s routine about discussing the plot, the setting, and the characters first. They prepared for that, today, they did not anticipate that he would focus most of the time left for the period in talking about prevailing themes. As some students only prepared for the summary and characters lists, most of them were ill prepared for the actual discussion. So, it looked like it was up to Shelby, Alyssa, and Emma to save the day again.

Shelby raised her hand first, “Themes of oppression and abuse were always present especially with the characters of Curley and his wife. I suppose it is about how we fear other people who have the capacity to hurt us.” Shelby explained.

“Good, I think that is one palpable themes, Ms. Gonzales.” Mr. Glickman acknowledged. “But what gives these people power? Why do we allow them to hurt us when they can? Can anyone elaborate on that?” Most of the student tried to evade Mr. Glickman’s gaze.

Alyssa looked at Emma, wondering if Emma would like to say something but Emma nodded for her to go ahead. Study sessions with Emma had been stimulating for Alyssa; she never appreciated how she could look at issues in depth when conversing with Emma. Alyssa raised her hand and Mr. Glickman smiled when he noticed.

“Yes, Ms. Greene?” Mr. Glickman called out.

“I think each of the characters represent a kind of person who is often discriminated in our society. Crooks is discriminated because of race, Curley’s wife because of gender, and Candy because of being a person with disability. Curley has Napoleonic complex and is belittled because of size as well as George for being physically weak and Lennie because he’s not too smart.” Alyssa explained. “We always find something wrong about ourselves and some people learn to overcome these limitations like George who uses his wit but there are those who simply act violently towards others just because they can like how Curley scares Lennie. Some people impose authority over others just because society allows them to and this often results to something negative.”

As soon as Alyssa stopped speaking, Mr. Glickman had an impressed grin painted on his face.

“Anything you would like to add to that, Ms. Nolan?” Mr. Glickman looked at Emma.

Emma cleared her throat before answering. “I guess another prevailing theme, sir is loneliness. I guess most of the characters’ conflicts revolve around that theme, the craving for human contact to give their life some meaning. For example, we see Lennie tell George, I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you, and that's why.” Emma read from a page that she dog-eared from her book. “I think achieving all their dreams is worthwhile if they have people to share it with. George and Lennie have survived because they understood each other and they worked on each other’s strengths and weaknesses to deal with the threats of the rest of the world.” Emma scrambled for her notes. “If you may allow me to read a passage from Steinbeck’s journal, sir?”

“Go ahead.” Mr. Glickman permitted.

“Try to understand men, if you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and nearly always leads to love. There are shorter means, many of them. There is writing promoting social change, writing punishing injustice, writing in celebration of heroism, but always that base theme. Try to understand each other.” Emma read. “I guess this is the main message of the story. That hate exists because we do not try to understand our fears. Understanding always leads to love.” Emma concluded.

“Well, I guess my work is done here.” Mr. Glickman crossed his arms over his chest.

Suddenly, the bell rang and most of the students exited the room in relief.

“Ms. Nolan, a word?” Mr. Glickman was already back behind his desk.

Emma looked confused, Alyssa gave her a wary stare but she motioned that she would wait for her outside.

“Am I in trouble, sir?” Emma asked apprehensively as she held on to the strap of her sling bag.

“Oh no, no, no,” Mr. Glickman beamed. “You’re in no trouble.”

Emma heaved a sigh of relief.

“I just wanted to check on you.” Mr. Glickman explained. “You know, I can see that you usually have this depth of understanding that may be more mature for some people your age. I just wish to remind you that you should not hold back while you’re in my class.”

“I am not, sir.” Emma countered. “I mean, sometimes I just don’t think a lot of people agree with my opinions.”

“Well, we are not expected to always agree with each other, what’s the point of discussion then? If not to change the views of some people for the better?” Mr. Glickman raised an eyebrow.

“I just get this feeling that some kids her think I’m smug or something. I’m not used to suppressing my ideas but if it creates peace then why not, right?” Emma chuckled nervously.

“Discrimination happens because we allow those with smaller brains to speak louder while we suppress our own thoughts.” Mr. Glickman advised. “Small town, big ideas, I was in your shoes once.”

“What do you mean, sir?” Emma speculated.

“Small town boy, only gay kid in his class, bullied, oppressed, I could not count how many lockers I was shoved into. But when I got the chance, I got myself educated, became more assertive, fought against my bullies and here I am, back in this small town, trying to figure out how to encourage young people to stand up for themselves and speak their minds.” Mr. Glickman explained. “Sadly, Edgewater has not changed much but I see you, Emma Nolan, and perhaps you can shake things up a bit with me.” He winked.

“I don’t think I’m the right person for the job, sir. I’m new here, the plan is to just coast along and get out as soon as possible.” Emma responded.

“I’m not asking you to be a superhero, Emma. I’m just asking you to be yourself and not having to apologize for it. You can show these kids what their life can be.” Mr. Glickman counseled.

“I’m not sure if I can handle that, sir.” Emma declined. “For all we know, their lives may end up for the worse. I mean I am not having the best time.”

“Of course, I think a lot of things haven’t changed.” Mr. Glickman accepted. “Anyway, if someone gives you shit, pardon my words, you know what I mean. You know where to find me.” 

“Thank you, sir. I’ll keep that in mind.” Emma smiled.

“Take care of yourself and your friends, Ms. Nolan.” Mr. Glickman bade her farewell. Emma just nodded in acknowledgement as she exited the room.

“What did Mr. Glickman need? Did you do something wrong?” Alyssa did wait for Emma.

“Nope, not in trouble. He just checked on me, new kid and all.” Well, there was some truth to it, Emma thought.

As they walked, Mr. Glickman’s words resonated; I’m just asking you to be yourself and not having to apologize for it. However, Kevin’s words still clouded her mind; Edgewater is not ready for you.

Chapter Text

“Hey Shelby, how can you tell if you like someone?” Alyssa asked through the phone.

How she acted around Emma Nolan has seemed to be bothering her recently. They have hung out at the library for a few times, keeping up with their book club. Every morning, Alyssa gets this giddy feeling when she is on her way to school. Alyssa had never dressed to impress but she does always manage to look decent. Having been raised by Veronica Greene meant that she always needed to look presentable. As a child, she would even pack her best pajamas during sleepovers. Dressing well for school was typical of Alyssa but being self-conscious whenever she would bump into Emma at homeroom or English class was unusual. Not to mention that Alyssa would get butterflies in her stomach whenever Emma got too close whenever they would browse through the shelves at the library or Emma would chuckle at her joke. At one point, Alyssa Greene had figured out that Emma Nolan just gets her but the way that she would act around Emma always stumped her.

“Is this about, Greg?” Shelby almost whispered. Of course, Shelby would assume it was Greg. Greg who was polite enough to escort Alyssa in social events. Greg who always checked on her. Greg who has seemingly been kind to her since sophomore year.

“Maybe.” Alyssa lied. Shelby could not know about her thing with Emma. Not that she thought her friends would not understand but Alyssa always struggled with fitting in. Everything in her life was clean cut and she did not have room for confusing feelings.

“I don’t know, do you always think about him at random points of the day? Are you always excited to see him at school? Do you always regard his opinion on things?” Alyssa was right to call Shelby. Shelby always had a knack for explaining or describing things.

“Yeah, I think so.” Alyssa thought.

“Then, I think that’s a start. Oh my gosh, are you having feelings for Greg? I knew it!” Shelby exclaimed.

“I think I’m figuring things out at the moment.” Alyssa thought of Emma. It was a white lie.

“I don’t know what’s really happening with you guys but why don’t you ask him out? Get to know him more. Date officially.” Shelby prodded.

“You’re the one to talk.” Alyssa bantered.

“Kevin and I talk and we have gone out, a few times.” Shelby countered. “Plus, this is not about me, this is about you. Go call him, Lys.”

“I should be the one to call?” Alyssa wondered.

“It’s the 21^st century, Lys, anyone can call anyone.” Shelby groaned.

“You’re right, thanks, Shelbs.” Alyssa muttered.

“Don’t forget to tell me how it goes.” Shelby giggled.

“Of course.” Alyssa assured.

After the call with Shelby ended, Alyssa texted Greg. Why she asked Greg to hang out and not Emma, she never knew. Perhaps she just wanted to know if she would have the same feelings around Greg or she would have the same feelings around boys in general. 

“What is it with you and malls?” Emma exclaimed.

Despite her slight hutzpah with Nick at the cafeteria on the first day of school, Emma had managed to keep a low profile and survived the succeeding weeks with zero incidents. She had been keeping to herself, well except for spending a few study periods with Alyssa at the library discussing nothing but the wizarding world of Harry Potter, which Lillianna had warned her against. Why Lillianna did not like Alyssa, Emma doesn’t know, yet. Also, there was Lillianna, who happens to get Emma like Marcus. Therefore, Kevin being his ever-endearing self also demanded some time with his cousin.  

“As if we have other places to go.” Kevin sighed.

“There’s the small park near Gran’s, the lake, the open field near school…” Emma enumerated places.

“And what should we do? Stare at the sky until we are bored enough to gouge our eyes out?” Kevin remarked.

“Why do you always have to be so violent? It’s all those video games, I tell you.” Emma mumbled.

“Plus, we might bump into someone here.” Kevin was looking around.

“You know, you can just text and invite Shelby if you want to spend time with her. Not fake some run-in meet-cute at the mall.” Emma murmured.

“You’re no fun, Em.” Kevin pouted.

However, just like Kevin was drawing all the powers of the universe towards him, they actually ran into familiar faces. They in fact stumbled upon Greg and Alyssa walking alongside each other.

“Oh friends, hey hey!” Kevin placed an arm over Greg’s shoulder.

Greg was in a casual printed white shirt, it had yellow pineapples all over it and pair of jean shorts and Alyssa was wearing a short denim skirt, a lilac blouse, and a pair of sandals. Greg had this unreadable expression on his face and Alyssa was speechless when she realized that Kevin was with Emma.

“Hey,” Emma greeted timidly pursing her lips. She tried to hide any hint of disappointment. Of course, Alyssa was on a date with Greg. What are the chances that a nice and smart girl like Alyssa would remain single and even pay attention to someone like Emma in a long shot? Of course, Alyssa was nice to her, she just found someone who was into the same things, and she should not misinterpret it as something else. It’s just friendship and nothing more. After all, Greg seems to be a nice enough and good-looking guy.

“I guess we should just let you continue with your date. So sorry to bother you, just wanted to say hi!” Kevin tried to relieve them from the situation.

“Yeah, see you guys around.” Emma’s smile was weak.

Alyssa’s smile had dropped into a frown.

“Actually, we’re off to get some food. Would you guys like to join us?” Greg immediately blurted out.

“It’s cool, man. I mean you guys are in a date, we don’t want to intrude.” Kevin gave Greg a knowing look.

Greg actually looked a bit disappointed when Kevin declined.  

“It’s fine really, we insist. I mean since we are all here but if you guys are headed somewhere. Greg and I are fine with anything, really.” Alyssa contended.

Neither Greg nor Alyssa denied that they were on a date. Emma took note of that.  

“Are you guys sure?” Kevin squinted. “How about you, Em? I could use some food.” Kevin turned to his cousin.

Emma hated making these high-stake decisions. Of course, she’s disappointed, probably borderline jealous. Just when things are seem to be shaping up between them, Alyssa never bothered to tell Emma that she was actually dating Greg. However, why would she, wasn’t it obvious? Also, she’s straight therefore, Emma should not expect anything from those friendly hangouts. But what did all those hangouts even mean? Maybe Emma was just getting ahead of herself. Maybe they were what they were, of course they are just on friendly terms, just like what they are about to do today. Emma does not pride herself to be a serial over thinker. So, as not to draw attention to herself, she decided that the best course of action was to simply play along. After all, she was used to these kinds of outcomes. She could always just suck it up.  

“Okay,” Emma finally breathe out.

“Okay!” On the contrary, Greg looked ecstatic as if he was glad that they had other companions. “So, pizza or burgers?”

“What about tacos?” Kevin suggested.

“Tacos it is!” Greg looked eager.  

Kevin began to drag his cousin towards their favorite taco chain, walking ahead of Alyssa and Greg.

At the taco restaurant, Greg sat next to Kevin, leaving Alyssa to sit beside Emma. Greg reasoned that he liked to sit across people he’s interested in and that he’s least interested with Kevin. Kevin just took the joke kindly and began eating.

Alyssa was thankful that she was out of Emma’s line of sight or else, she would not be able to help herself to stare at those hazel eyes. The only downside though was that their elbows would occasionally brush whenever they moved or reached out for something. This caused Alyssa’s stomach to flutter which decreased her appetite even though she was already so hungry from all the strolling. She could not explain what she was feeling actually, it felt like it was the first time that she had this feeling.

“So, Emma have you joined any clubs, yet?” Greg started the conversation.

“Should I?” Emma wondered.

“Well, it’s not a requirement, after all we’re about to graduate.” Alyssa confirmed.

“But you’re bound to do something after school at least? What are you interested in?” Greg seemed concerned.  

“Unless we have a feminist club or an environmentalist club or…” Kevin was about to say Gay-Straight Alliance or (GSA) but he decided against outing his cousin. Emma decides who should know. “…and we don’t have any of those.” Kevin concluded instead.

“The council has this Go-Greene project! It’s actually a play on Alyssa’s last name when she ran for council, you know, Go Greene! The council’s environmentally-conscious arm.” Greg shared.

“You talk about climate change, Greene?” Emma raised an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s just the simple things, like recycling, going-paperless with transactions, energy conservation at school. It’s nothing big, yet.” Alyssa suddenly felt overwhelmed. Initially, Alyssa always thought of something more like an anti-bullying campaign but her mother urged her to simply contend with a least demanding campaign, so that she would be able to spread herself more on other activities like cheer and debate.

“Don’t scare her with your crusading, Em.” Kevin chuckled.

“What’s to be scared of? We can talk about climate change, we can help out…” Emma started.

“Well, maybe you should volunteer for the cause then.” Kevin challenged his cousin.

“I’m fine, going paperless is good.” Emma realized that she still wanted to keep up with her low profile; she can probably pursue more of environmental activism at college.

Kevin noticed Alyssa’s smile dropped again.

“Emma takes good photographs; you need help at the Yearbook Committee, right ‘Lys?” Kevin realized.

“Really?” Alyssa lighted up. “Principal Hawkins has asked me to form the committee already, we could use some help.”

“Everybody has smart phones, Kev.” Emma muttered.

“Well, you just take awesome pictures and you also, have this nice camera your mother gave you.” Kevin pointed out. “Instead of taking photos of fallen leaves and graffiti maybe you could also document our last year at high school. She has an Instagram account for her photography.” Kevin looked proud.

“Really?” Alyssa regarded excited.

“You guys should follow her.” Kevin offered. “It’s no1knows, it’s a little wordplay.”

Both Alyssa and Greg reached for their phones to look for Emma’s account. Emma just scoffed at her cousin.

“Wow, this is good, Em.” Greg scrolled through her account.

“I would second that.” Alyssa looked quite absorbed with the images on her phone screen.

“I told you, so. Emma can take portraits of people.” Kevin presented.

“I don’t even know most people, Kev.” Emma made another excuse.

“Wouldn’t it be great? I mean it’s like you’re researching a photo story, you’re not biased. You get to know people as you go along, you capture moments as they are. See, I learned something at school.” Kevin reasoned.

The cousins were having a mini-squabble in front of Alyssa and Greg; the pair just let them be.

“You’re saying I’m an outsider?” Emma huffed.

“Well, for now but we’re talking about art here and your perspective as an artist. The student body is your subject.” Kevin challenged.

“I don’t like objectifying people.” Emma protested.

“Who says you will?” Kevin countered.

“Cool.” Emma settled.

Alyssa was just utterly confused about how their argument ended.

“So, you’ll do it then?” Greg suddenly butt in.

“I guess you should see my actual portfolio first.” Emma directed the statement at Alyssa.

“Okay.” Alyssa was suddenly surprised how the series of events turned out. She just only meant to go out with Greg that afternoon.  

“So, what is this favor that you’re going to ask me?” Lillianna adjusted her eyeglasses as she slumped next to Emma who was sitting on a grassy area next to the football field.

“Well, I just need to add some stuff to my portfolio.” Emma fumbled for her camera from her shoulder bag.

“So, you need to take pictures?” Lillianna raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah I do, Kevin has signed me up for the yearbook committee and I think I just need to take a couple of more portraits to show them.” Emma prepared her gear.

“And by portraits, you mean you’re taking my portrait?” Lillianna looked tense.

“Is that okay?” Emma almost faltered.

“Why me?” Lillianna tipped her head to the side.

Emma took a deep breath before continuing. “Well, you and Kevin are the only people I could approach for this. Since I already got Kevin’s headshots, I’m wondering if I could also take yours? I think it would be good for my portfolio, taking headshots of actual students.” Emma articulated.

“Why not Alyssa’s?” Emma did not expect Lillianna’s question.

“Well, she sort of oversees things for the committee; it would be weird for her to review headshots of herself, right?” Emma explained.

“Actually, you do have a point.” Lillianna realized. “But I’m not really much of a model.”

“It’s okay; I’m not really much of a photographer.” Emma laughed.

“Quit pulling my leg, Nolan and you being too darn humble is not attractive either.” Lillianna joked.

“Oh really, so what’s attractive?” Emma mess around without really considering Lillianna’s reaction.

Lillianna paused for a while before answering. “Just take the damn photo if you have to.” Lillianna eventually blurted out.

“Surely! That’s why I asked you out here; it’s almost the golden hour.” Emma jolted up, pointing at the sky.

Emma started taking pictures as the light from the setting sun presented the illumination that she was waiting for, too oblivious to Lillianna’s awkwardness at the situation.

Chapter Text

The tires of Emma’s bicycle screeched as she stopped in a square concrete area near a small park. It was uncharacteristic of Edgewater but along the walls of one of the nearby buildings were some graffiti. See noticed this spray-painted text that read: If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission. Emma beamed at the thought; she took out her camera from her backpack and started taking pictures of the wall. This small expanse near the park actually reminded her so much of the city, cracked asphalt, a seemingly abandoned car nearby, and a piece of plastic bag dancing in the wind. Emma never imagined how much she missed the city, how much she missed her old school, and how much she missed her mother. She was able to call her mother a couple of days ago but it just made her more frustrated because the poor connection just resulted to broken audio and a blurry video. Emma took a deep breath to cleanse herself of the negative feeling that started to pile up inside of her. Just for a year, she told herself.

But before she got distracted any further, Emma remembered what she was doing at the park in the first place. So, she allowed her camera to dangle on her neck and she started to pedal slowly towards her destination. Why Alyssa asked her to meet at the park on a weekend baffled her. It was a Saturday morning and she could still be sleeping in her bed, cuddled up under the covers. She struggled to put on a pair of dark colored cycling pants, a black hoodie, and a black beanie as she left her grandparent’s house. But here she was, cycling groggily towards one of Edgewater’s parks, meeting Alyssa Greene, just because she promised to show her portfolio for a possible position in the yearbook committee.

Emma’s breath hitched when she stumbled upon another fascinating view. There in her running clothes, which consisted of a fit spandex neon pink tank top and navy yoga pants, was Alyssa Greene basking under the sun while stretching her legs on a wooden park bench. Alyssa’s hair was fixed in a tight ponytail and her brown skin seem to glisten under the glow of sunlight. Emma got hold of herself and shook away the churning feeling at the pit of her stomach. She fixed her eyeglasses on the bridge of her nose and she started pedaling again towards Alyssa.   

“Hey.” Emma greeted softly but this somehow startled Alyssa as Emma’s breaks screeched when she reached her destination.

“Oh hi, you’re early,” Alyssa managed a reply. “I was just cooling down from my run.” Alyssa explained, a little bit breathless.

“Sorry, I just can’t shake off this habit; usually I arrive early to meetings just to make sure that I don’t miss anything.” Emma dismounted from her bike. 

“You’re dressed to impress.” Alyssa chuckled eyeing the camera dangling on Emma’s neck.

“I think the camera is not just an accessory, if it looks like it.” Emma smirked. “Sorry, I just could not help it; I just spotted something interesting on my way here, so I needed to pull this out.” She motioned at the camera around her neck.

“Of course.” Alyssa sneered as she made an overhead triceps stretch unintentionally giving Emma a better view of her arm muscles.

Emma could not help but hitch her breath again at the scene. “So, we should talk about my portfolio? I got prints here.” Emma motioned at her backpack, diverting her eyes from Alyssa.

“Oh yeah, sorry.” Alyssa ended her cool down exercise with an arm-cross shoulder stretch. “Well, have you eaten breakfast yet?”

“Actually, six in the morning on a Saturday is really quite early for me. Though my grandparents are already up and about at five o’clock, I needed to rush out to make it here on time.” Emma explained. “On my way here, I actually wondered why I agreed to this hour.”

“Oh my gosh, sorry about that.” Alyssa grasped. “Well, Saturday is usually my only free day and I’m usually out of the house for a run, so I thought why not meet up with you while I’m out. You know how my Sundays are, there’s church and then since I volunteer at the Sunday school, I stay an extra hour and my mother usually hosts brunch.” Alyssa described.

“Wow, that’s a lot, now I feel guilty for complaining about my weekends at the bookshop.” Emma realized.

“Anyway, how about some breakfast? My treat!” Alyssa offered.

“That sounds nice.” Emma agreed.

The duo then began ambling towards the nearest diner at the park, Alyssa rambling aimlessly about her typical full schedule and Emma dragging her bike beside her like it was another usual Saturday morning for the both of them.

Alyssa chuckled as she looked at photos of Kevin from Emma’s portfolio. “He can definitely model, showing off those dimples.”

“Yeah, I needed to treat him for some burgers after that.” Emma informed.

“Shelby should see these.” Alyssa murmured absentmindedly.

“So, you know about Kevin and Shelby, too?” Emma inquired.

“It’s not rocket science.” Alyssa quipped. “They should really get together soon to get rid of that tension, it’s painful to watch.”

“Yup, Nick and Kaylee, Kevin and Shelby, you and Greg.” Emma chanted, waiting for Alyssa’s reaction.

“Oh no, Greg and I…” Alyssa was about to deny it but then she realized how it was always safe that people assumed she was with Greg but this was Emma how could she give Emma the wrong impression. “That obvious, huh?” She said instead.

“It’s a no brainer.” Emma replied with a half-smile but Alyssa noticed how her demeanor changed.

When Alyssa flipped through the next page, she was presented with several portraits of Lillianna Boomer, under very impressive natural lighting. “So, you’re friends with Lillianna?”

“Uh yeah, we have art together.” Emma replied enthusiastically. “When I found out that she was related to Nick, it just blew my mind.”

“They’re not related by blood, you know.” Alyssa added but she could not shake away the feeling she was having. How she thought Emma had this special moment with Lillianna or Lillianna under the gaze of Emma’s lenses.  

“Lillianna’s cool.” Emma stated.

“Yeah but based in our interactions in the past few years, I don’t think she likes us. I mean her brother’s friends in general.” Alyssa uttered.

“Well, maybe you just think that you are very different people but I suppose you actually have quite a lot in common.” Emma acknowledged.

“Like what?” Alyssa challenged.

“Like you read a lot of books, I think you are both nerds. You actually care about your grades at school. Maybe you are just more popular because you are student body president but I think in some alternate universe, you guys can be friends, too.” Emma explained.

“Yeah, maybe.” Alyssa supposed.

“But hey, don’t listen to me. High school has this intricate social hierarchy and you shouldn’t rock it when you’re on top, right?” Emma joked.

“Is it an insult or a compliment?” Alyssa narrowed her eyes at Emma.

“Depends on how you take it.” Emma smirked.

Then, Alyssa realized how a bit envious she was with Emma’s new friend. Not that Emma does not deserve a new friend but this friendship was rubbing her the wrong way. Contrary to her situation, however, Lillianna had always been comfortable with herself, even if she was hounded by Nick’s shadow. Emma was right, Alyssa was on top and it seemed best not to rock the boat.

To stray from such negative thoughts, Alyssa tried to change the subject. “So, for how long had you been taking pictures?” Alyssa viewed the succeeding prints that were kept in a clear book that she now held in her hand. The photos were impressive, a few black and white portraits of random people, unusual city sights that only Emma probably noticed and some city architecture.  

They were seated in the outdoor area outside of the diner; Emma’s bike was parked beside them. Alyssa’s black coffee and bagel were almost half finished and Emma was still enjoying her cappuccino and glazed doughnut while they talked.

“It’s nothing serious really, just a hobby that I got into.” Emma explained. “My mom loved taking pictures, documenting every stage of our life; I think I just picked that up from her. It has always been just the two of us, well, except for our family here, who we only see a couple of times a year until now.”

“Well, we have that in common.” Alyssa mumbled as she inspected another print. It was the façade of Emma’s apartment building at the city, dramatic afternoon light hitting the repetitive array of windows and fire escapes.

“Photography?” Emma wondered.

“No, being raised by single parents.” Alyssa pointed out.

“Oh…” Emma did not know what to say to that.

“I would assume that you and your mom are close then.” Alyssa inquired. “Is this her?” Alyssa pointed at a photo of an older woman who looked like Emma except for the darker hair and blue eyes.

“Yeah, she’s the best.” Emma beamed.

“Well, at least one of us is doing well.” Alyssa mumbled.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Emma felt awkward again.

“No, don’t be.” Alyssa sighed. “Actually, mom is not that bad but she can just be so controlling sometimes, I could hardly breathe.”

“I won’t pretend that I even know how that feels.” Emma looked at Alyssa sympathetically.

“Don’t get me wrong, she always means well, sometimes too well. Anyway, I always thought that it came naturally with single parents but now hearing how your mom is, I just think that is just how my mom is.” Alyssa groaned. “But she has this perfectly cut-out image of who I should be and I just need to live up to that.”    

Then it started to sink in, Emma was starting to understand who Alyssa Greene was and perfect image that she needs to build. “They always mean well, I think. I just always tell myself that whatever she does for me, she does it out of love because she has lived in this earth a lot longer than I had.” Emma explained. Emma omitted the fact that her mother told her a few things about Alyssa’s mom but whoever Mrs. Greene is at the moment, surely, Ronnie is still in there somewhere.

Alyssa just gave her a wry smile. “That’s a positive way of putting it. Well, my mom always felt insecure about my dad leaving us, you know?”

“I never met my dad, he left my mom before I was born but somehow I never yearned for him, mom just felt, enough.” Emma shared.

“Well, my dad was around until I was seven, then one day, he just didn’t come home and then my mom’s world just revolved around me.” Alyssa responded. “Shucks, I’m so sorry about dumping all of these on you, I mean; we should talk about the yearbook.” Emma noticed that Alyssa held back tears.

“You know what, we actually share this experience and we actually have something in common, more than I expected. I guess it is quite early to say since I just know you for a few weeks but if ever you need someone to talk to, I’m here. I can’t say I understand everything perfectly well but I can listen.” Emma offered.

Alyssa smiled again, this time showing her dimples and Emma noticed that. “Thank you, Em. I’ll actually take you up to that.”

“And you can just talk to me whenever you feel like it, just about anything. It doesn’t have to be yearbook stuff.” Emma pointed out. “Oh, I’m actually not assuming that I got the job.” Emma realized.

“It’s actually not a job, Em, its volunteer work.” Alyssa cackled. “Actually, we did not need this formality; I could have immediately asked for your help the moment Kevin volunteered you for this. I was just curious to see your work. Plus, you brought it up.” Alyssa winked at her.  

“So, I could have had extra hours of sleep on this Saturday morning?” Emma realized.

“We could have avoided this meeting entirely.” Alyssa laughed.

“But actually I’m glad this happened. I’m glad that I got to know you better. I mean I guess there’s more to you than this but I’m just glad this happened. I’m a blundering mess now, I’ll stop.” Emma chastised herself internally.

“Don’t worry; I’m glad this happened, too, Emma Nolan.” Alyssa radiated.

Emma spent a lot of her free time in the library. Not having a lot of friends other than her cousin, and perhaps Alyssa and Lillianna, Emma had most of her time to herself. She never joined Kevin’s group for lunch again, especially since that episode with Nick. She had never put up with homophobic shit in her past school and she decided that she would not allow putting herself in a situation where Nick could perhaps throw slurs at her and ruin her day. She also did not spend much of her time with Lillianna, especially when they figured out that they only had matching schedules for a day. Therefore, Emma often ate lunch in inconspicuous places and spent her study period in the library.

Emma took a break from Mr. Glickman’s Shakespeare reading list; she was actually reading Inferno, off Marcus' reading list and is now doodling her interpretation of the nine circles of hell in a notepad with a ballpoint pen. Emma was seated on a big table near the windows; the library was actually empty at this time, most students preferring to spend their breaks outside.

“That looks pretty dark.” Somebody whispered from behind.

Emma’s musings were broken when she realized whom the voice belonged to.

“Alyssa, hey.” Emma was surprised to see her.

“I always wondered where you usually run off to during breaks, well, the times we don’t have book club. But hey, you’re still here.” Alyssa thought. “Is this seat taken?” Alyssa pointed at the chair beside Emma.

“Not that anyone else would want it.” Emma joked.

Alyssa just grinned at her, placed her books on the table, and pulled the chair next to Emma.

Emma eyed the books that Alyssa had with her and she eyed a familiar title from the pile. “I didn’t know that is part of Mr. Glickman’s list.” Emma bantered.

Alyssa immediately inspected the spines of the books, looking for the title the Emma was referring to when she saw that she actually picked up The Twelfth Night.

“It’s funnier than Romeo and Juliet.” Alyssa made an excuse.

“Sure.” Emma just smirked knowingly.

“How about that, what’s that for?” Alyssa referred to Emma’s sketch.

“Oh, just a picture of hell.” Emma tapped the back of her pen on the pad.

“Planning where to put your enemies?” Alyssa joked.

“I don’t have enemies, ‘Lys. Actually, I don’t know why people seem to be so curious about me.” Emma was still kidding but she wanted Alyssa to know that she knew what the other kids thought of her.

“I would say that it’s because you’re new but you have been here for weeks. So, I guess, it’s just because you’re different and people here don’t like different. They don’t see the beauty in that.” Alyssa replied rather bashfully.

Emma was caught off guard with Alyssa’s reply but she managed to respond. “Yeah, I think I got a year to put up with that.”

“Plus, you’re always too forward and you seem to know a lot of stuff. I should watch out, you might end up valedictorian and not me.” Alyssa joked.

“I’m a transfer student; I don’t think I would be considered for that. Plus, you’re better-rounded than I am.” Emma bantered.

“Hey, I know, Edgewater hasn’t been the best but there are also good things here you know.” Alyssa countered.

“I know that, I’ve seen it.” Emma mustered the courage to look at Alyssa directly in the eyes when she said that.

Alyssa was caught speechless for a while. “Well, I could show you around more if you like.”

“Only if it’s not on daybreak on a Saturday.” Emma teased and Alyssa shoved her playfully on the shoulder.

Chapter Text

“I don’t understand why I need to go to these things?” Emma grouched as she ironed out the creases of a maroon James Madison High t-shirt using her hands in front of her dresser mirror.

“It’s your first dose of school spirit, Em.” Kevin was lying down on her bed in a pair of tight jeans and his letterman jacket. He was texting someone in his phone and he did not bother to look up. “Plus, aren’t you supposed to be documenting school events from now on, being in the yearbook committee and all? By the way, you promised to give me a copy of my headshot.”

“The print is by the dresser.” Emma pointed at the envelope on her dressing table.

“Cool!” Kevin bounced his way towards the furniture.

“Alyssa said you should show that to Shelby.” Emma smirked.

“So, you and Alyssa are close now?” Kevin wiggled his eyebrows.

“Stop teasing, Kev. Didn’t you say that she’s straight?” Emma recalled.

“Yeah, don’t tap that. Again, she’s been with Greg since I can remember and I heard that they are getting pretty serious.” Kevin stated matter of factly.

“Yeah, but sometimes she gives off a different vibe you know.” Emma muttered, pretending that she wasn’t affected as she fiddled with her camera gear.

Kevin did not mind her comment, he was busy smiling at his phone screen at this point, whomever he was texting, Emma assumed it was Shelby. “The bonfire opens the Spirit Week.” He mumbled mindlessly.

“Spirit Week? Is this some ghost hunting ritual?” Emma narrowed her eyes at her cousin.

“As in school spirit week, it starts with tonight’s pep rally, then crazy hair day, then decade day, then school color day and it ends with the sports teams’ day.” Kevin explained.

“Isn’t the pep rally just the same as sports teams’ day?” Emma bantered. “Also, what’s this school’s obsession with dressing up?”

“You ask too many questions,” Kevin jolted up. “Can you hurry please? We’re Shelby and Alyssa’s ride.”

Emma stopped in her tracks; it didn’t cross her mind that she might be hanging out with Kevin’s entire posse tonight.

“Is Nick going to be there?” Emma stopped at her tracks.

“Nah, just us four, he’s picking up Kaylee and Greg, they live near each other.” Kevin responded.

“Cool.” Emma mumbled as she put on her backpack.  

“C’mon, Shelby just texted, we shouldn’t be late.” Kevin pocketed his phone.

“So, what about you and Shelby?” Emma teased, pointing at her cousin’s smile.

“Shut up, Em.” Kevin retorted as they exited Emma’s room.

They were parked in front of the Gonzales’ driveway and Kevin hopped off the vehicle.

“I was expecting you to just honk like what the other guys would do.” Emma quipped. Though her cousin hung out with Nick Boomer, she knew that he was still his chivalrous self.

“I’m not an asshole, Em, plus Shelby’s parents are still a bit traditional.” Kevin muttered.

“So, you’re really courting her?” Emma pestered. Kevin just sighed at his cousin.

“Hey Em, uhm, would you mind if…” Kevin seemed hesitant but Emma knew what favor he was asking.

“Don’t worry, I get it Kev.” Emma smiled, taking off her seatbelt and transferring from the front seat to the backseat.

Kevin just smiled back and he headed towards the front door looking quite unnerved. It did not take long before Shelby emerged from the threshold followed closely by Alyssa.

Emma was observing the scene from the car window and she was not quite ready for the view before her. Shelby in her cheer uniform walking beside Kevin and his varsity jacket looked characteristically like a jock couple. On the other hand, Alyssa in her cheer uniform was a different story. Like Shelby, Alyssa had her hair up in a tight ponytail. They were both in maroon and white James Madison colors. The top of their uniform rose just a little bit above the navel and the skirt was short enough to expose the length of their legs for the entire world to see. Emma always presumed that being smart and sporty did not usually meld but Alyssa Greene had this proper balance actually. She looked athletic even though she seemed nerdy and you could not fault her for being both.

“Oh, hey…” Alyssa’s eyes grew wide when she opened the car door and noticed that Emma was already at the back seat.

Emma stared at her for a while, taking in her actual presence. Both Kevin and Shelby seem to observe them silently.

“Ready to go, Em?” Kevin snapped Emma out of her reverie.

“Do I have a choice?” Emma was quick to retort, trying to act like her usual self.

“You don’t look so excited, Em.” Shelby remarked from the passenger’s seat as Kevin started to drive them to campus.

“She’s not really into Spirit Week, yet.” Kevin commented.

“Are things different in your past school?” Shelby inquired.

“Well, every school has their own version, I just don’t participate.” Emma replied.

“But you’re here now.” Alyssa managed to note. Emma could not help but notice that there was a sizable gap between her and Alyssa in the backseat. “Plus, you’re in charge of documentation, so, you need to be present in all events.”

“Of course, at your service Madam President.” Emma mock saluted.

“Well, give it a chance, who knows, you might enjoy it. Right, Lys?” Shelby winked at them from the rear view mirror.

“Yeah.” Alyssa mustered a small smile.

Emma hated pep rallies. It is not just about the loud thundering drum beats that could bust her eardrums or the roaring cheers. It is perhaps the absurdity of it all in her perspective. Athletes are regaled like gods, everyone on the bleachers seemingly worshiping their every gesture. In addition, she always thought that cheerleaders are often objectified given the raciness of their attire. Exposed skin does not seem to fit the implicit conservativeness of this community. This goes to note that Alyssa will be on display together with all her other teammates. Emma was annoyed at the thought.    

Emma slumped on her seat as everyone around her applauded and shouted as they anticipated for their favorite teams to line up in the field where a huge bonfire was lit. As the official event photographer, she had a seat in the front row and she could move around as she pleased.

However, before Emma could sulk any further, the drumbeats began to change and the cheer team emerged from the locker rooms. She immediately spotted Alyssa, in formation together with Shelby and Kaylee and some other familiar faces from their class. When the squad had started with their cheer stance, the crowd began to interact and the drumbeats became faster. To say that Emma was mesmerized was an understatement, she could only hope that Alyssa has not spotted her or could not see her from afar, because she could not take her eyes off her, good thing that the camera covered her face as she looked through the viewfinder. The squad proceeded with a series of formations and snappy movements; they were doing cartwheels, handstands, and back flip full twists, Emma moved around trying to capture everything. When Alyssa did a toe touch midair, Emma was in awe, she almost forgot to take a photo. The James Madison High School cheering squad was actually very agile. Emma had somehow developed a newfound respect for what they do, well, since it is actually her first time to witness something like this live. The routine ended with Kaylee on top of the pyramid being supported by Shelby and Alyssa on the next level who both are also doing high kicks and the other members on the bottom to support them. Loud cheering erupted after the high-adrenaline performance and as the tempo of the drumbeats changed, the basketball team emerged from the dugout with louder applause. Emma remained motionless in her spot, externally looking unaffected but actually quite amazed inside.   

“Out here alone, Nolan?” Emma almost retracted when she realized someone placed an arm over her shoulder. She was relieved when she realized that it was just Lillianna.

Lillianna had her hair in a ponytail under a black cap. She was wearing a comfortable JMHS gray hoodie and jeans. “So, I’m guessing you got the job then? You must have an impressive portfolio.”

“Yeah, I do but I did omit that last headshot.” Emma teased.

“Shut up! I bet you only got the job because of my flair for modeling.” Lillianna countered.

“I didn’t expect you to be here.” Emma chuckled.

“You too cool for this crowd?” Lillianna joked.

“I’m here out of obligation.” Emma pointed at her camera.

“Well, I’m here out of obligation, too. My stepdad has been chewing my ear off to go out here and support Nicholas.” Lillianna explained.

“Part of being a Boomer.” Emma snickered.

“It’s written in my adoption papers.” Lillianna added.

Unbeknownst to Emma, Alyssa had went around looking for her but when she spotted Emma, there she was in the middle of the field with Lillianna Boomer’s arm draped over her shoulder.

How Emma ended up in a diner with Kevin and his entire gang, she did not know. First, they were standing next to Kevin’s car in a seemingly chaotic parking lot. The next thing she knew, they were driving in a convoy with Nick, Kaylee, Greg, and Lillianna in another car.

The group was fitted snuggly in a booth at the diner. Nick, Kaylee, Kevin, and Shelby were huddled on one side and Alyssa, Emma and Lillianna on the other side with Greg in a chair along the aisle. Everyone ordered burgers and milkshakes except for Alyssa, Kaylee, and Shelby who just shared a plate of fries and had soda water.

“So, Emma, I heard that this was your first dose of school spirit.” Kaylee tried to make conversation.

“Really?” Nick’s eye widened. “Of course, nerd schools don’t have athletics!”

Lillianna immediately narrowed her eyes at Nick across the table.

“Hey, watch it Boomer, there are actual nerds in this table.” Shelby disputed looking smug.   

Kevin flashed a smile at Shelby, thinking that she was mindful enough to get the attention off Emma.

“Actually Nick, my past school has a strong arts curriculum, so, we had film festivals, hip hop dance competitions, theater, or art fairs. I have nothing against athletics as most of you in this table are into it but we had other uses for our hands other than just tossing balls around.” Emma answered. 

Greg and Kevin tried to hold their laughter at Emma’s last statement.

“You better teach your cousin some manners, Shields.” Nick looked daggers at Kevin.

“She’s her own person, man.” Kevin pointed out.

“If you have a problem with me Nick, you can say it to my face you know. Don’t drill this patriarchal bullshit on people.” Emma was starting to get agitated.

“Who do you think you are? Strutting around this place pretending like you’re so cool with your feminism crap.” Nick accused.

“And what’s wrong with that? Shouldn’t we all be fighting for equality?” Lillianna suddenly challenged her stepbrother.

“Talking big, ‘lil sis?” Nick guffawed. “See what you’re doing here, Nolan. Has she turned you?”

“We’re the same age, Nick.” Lillianna spat back. “Plus, I can think for myself, thank you.”

“And you’re my sister; I’m supposed to make sure that you keep yourself in place.” Nick continued to retort.

“Stepsister, Nicholas and obviously we did not come from the same tree.” Lillianna stood up. “Excuse me, Greg.” Lillianna stepped out of the booth. “I had enough of your crap for one night!” Lillianna stormed off.

“Yeah, go for a walk, clear your head! Then you’ll get better sense of things.” Nick called after Lillianna.

“That wasn’t nice, Nick.” Kaylee muttered beside Nick.

“What?” Nick questioned the table. “I was just stating facts.”

“Sometimes, you can be terrible.” Kevin mumbled under his breath.

Emma shared a concerned look with Alyssa, and then she finally decided to get up from the table as well.

“I’ll go check on her.” Emma murmured as she walked off.

Alyssa furrowed her brows as she watched Emma go after Lillianna.

“Shields, that’s what I’m talking about! Your cousin comes in here putting stuff into Lillianna’s head.” Nick exclaimed.

“Lillianna has a mind of her own.” Shelby immediately snapped.

“I think I’ll have my burger to go.” Greg released an exasperated groan.

Nick continued to munch on his food with an arm draped over Kaylee’s shoulder while the rest of the group were already preparing to leave.

“Hey, wait up!” Emma was catching her breath as she ran after Lillianna. 

“Go away!” Lillianna muttered without turning around as she continued to walk.

“It’s Emma.” Emma jogged to catch up after Lillianna.

“Emma?” Emma noticed that Lillianna wiped a tear away. “What are you doing?” Lillianna hugged herself.

“You came to my defense…” Emma took a deep breath. “Obviously, we should be a united front.” She walked beside Lillianna.

“Nicholas is full of bullshit!” Lillianna exclaimed with fury in her eyes. “Sometimes I just wish I could strangle him. Imagine living in the same house with him and his father!”

“I can only imagine.” Emma looked at Lillianna dolefully.

“Don’t pity me, Em. I can handle him.” Lillianna stated.

“I know, I’m not here for pity. I’m here for support.” Emma grinned. “Thank you by the way, for taking my side.”

“Clearly, he was wrong with his backward thinking.” Lillianna remarked.

“So, you put up with that each day, huh? If it were me, I would go crazy.” Emma chuckled.

“I had my ample share of toxic men; my mother seems to have a knack finding them.” Lillianna shared.

“Nothing you can’t handle, right?” Emma probed.

“I just can’t wait to get out of here soon.” Lillianna huffed. “You know, to finally be myself and just go out there.”

“Yeah, out there seems to be such a great place.” Emma joked.

“Thank you, Em.” Lillianna looked at her tenderly.

“For what?” Emma questioned.

“For going after me.” Lillianna whispered as they continued their walk home.

Chapter Text

After that altercation at the diner with Nick, Emma decided to lay low once again. She stirred clear of the others, spending much of her time in the library once again. Emma stood in between an array of tall shelves; the space was quite tight but Emma was still able to slouch down to look at the titles on the book spines.

“I knew I would find you here.” A voice suddenly whispered beside her.

Emma suddenly felt that the space become too snug. There, standing next to her was none other than Alyssa Greene. She caught a faint whiff of Alyssa’s floral perfume as Alyssa lessened the distance between them. She was already in her cheer uniform, preparing for the basketball game that evening. The only good thing about their closeness was that Emma was spared from the entirety of the view of Alyssa Greene in her cheer uniform.

“Hey, ‘Lys.” Emma whispered when she noticed that Alyssa was actually very close to her. She felt a bit claustrophobic, not just because of the tight space but also due to Alyssa’s proximity.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. You always seem to be in a hurry after classes.” Alyssa reasoned.

“So, you came here looking for me?” Emma assumed. She did miss talking to Alyssa for a while but she could not just wrap her head around the fact that the other girls in the table were able to tolerate Nick’s attitude for a long time. Also, Alyssa did not say anything during the entire exchange.

“I could say that I had my hopes of finding you here.” Alyssa tried to joke but Emma looked stern.

“You need something?” Emma inferred. She did not mean to sound so cold but she just hated how everyone just allowed Nick to treat Lillianna in such a lowly manner.

“Oh,” Alyssa suddenly looked nervous. “I just came to remind you about tonight’s game. You need to document school events, remember?” Alyssa articulated. “And tonight’s the first basketball game of the season that the school is hosting.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of it.” Emma stated. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”

Emma noticed that Alyssa pondered for a while before asking her question. “Are we okay, Em?”

Emma always stood by about being honest, so, she decided to tell Alyssa the truth. “I can’t just fathom how someone as smart and as principled as you could just look on while Nick Boomer treats some kids in this school badly, especially his stepsister.”

“Is this about Lillianna?” Emma noticed that Alyssa’s demeanor changed, she looked a bit concerted.

“Yes, it’s about Lillianna.” Emma confirmed. “Actually, it’s about Nick in general. How can all of you just look on?”

“You know that not everyone agreed with him that night.” Alyssa pointed out.

“So, that’s all you’re going to do? Put up with him?” Emma tried to control the volume of her voice, she was still fully aware that they were in the library.

“Contrary to what you assume, Em. People do put an effort of calling him out.” Alyssa defended.

“But has he changed? Has someone really done something about it?” Emma felt like she was demanding more words of affirmation from Alyssa. “You still stick by him, right?”

“It’s a tough situation. You don’t know what Nick is capable of. So, maybe it’s not the best idea to prod him.” Alyssa advised.

“But Alyssa, you’re the student council president; you should at least try to do something about his behavior. Surely, you can do something.” Emma’s face softened a bit.

“Nick is complicated, Em. There’s a lot more to the delicate social hierarchy of this school that you don’t understand.” Alyssa could not believe the words spewing out of her mouth. She knew what she could do; she knew if she asked help from Principal Hawkins, they could actually do something. But she knew Nick since kindergarten and she knew Coach Boomer. Also, Alyssa knew that if she becomes the target of condescension, she could not have that, not while she is still in the process of understanding what is going on with her.

“Of course, there’s a lot that I don’t know.” Emma crossed her arms. “I’m just the new kid, what do I know?”

“I know Nick since kindergarten; he’s not always been like that.” Alyssa did not understand why it sounded as if she was defending Nick but she just did not want Emma to be the target of ridicule at school. Especially since, she has been crusading intensely and people in Edgewater are not used to that. They are not used to bluntness and change and Emma has been rocking the boat since she arrived.

“Yeah, of course.” Emma huffed and she turned to leave.

“Wait, Em.” Alyssa reached out for Emma’s arm. “Are we okay?”

“Don’t worry; I’ll fulfill my responsibilities for the committee.” Emma replied flatly before walking away. That was not the answer Alyssa was looking for.  

Alyssa did not understand how the entire exchange had went down to that. But what remained in her memory was the look of disappointment in Emma’s eyes.

The entire game that evening was such a haze for Emma. She was still a bit upset with Alyssa, so, she had avoided her gaze the entire evening. In the corner of her eye, she knew that Alyssa was a little bit distracted with the routines during halftime since Kaylee kept flashing piercing glares at Alyssa’s way. Alyssa seemed to be trying to catch Emma’s attention all evening but Emma was determined in ignoring her after how their conversation ended at the library. But Emma’s trepidations about Alyssa all went out of the window when there was a sudden commotion at the middle of the court.

Emma did not realize how it started but all she knew was that she stopped taking photographs when a player from the opposing team suddenly gave Nick a hard shove. Nick was on the verge of retaliating but the other players then ran towards them creating some much needed distance between the two. The other player was spatting curses at Nick as Nick just sneered at him while being dragged away by Greg and Kevin.

With barely a minute left in the game, JMHS was down by two. The other player was penalized with a flagrant foul while Nick was given a chance for two free throws and the ball was handed to JMHS thereafter. Half of the crowd was booing at Nick. Nick just smirked as he got two free throws in, causing a tie. Emma did not know much about basketball but she saw enough to realize that Nick had probably been taunting the opposing player all evening. Emma could not help but notice Nick’s subtleties while the referees were looking elsewhere. She did not know what Nick whispered to the other player while he was guarding him but she knew that somehow Nick was playing dirty just to mess with the other player’s momentum. Greg was in charge of throwing the ball in, Kevin was yelling that he was wide open but Greg’s attention was suddenly diverted towards Nick who was giving him an uncompromising glare. Since Nick was the point guard and calling out the plays, Greg knew that he should not ignore him. It was obvious that the play was set up for Kevin but Nick had other ideas. Greg eventually decided to give the pass to Nick much to Kevin’s dismay. The good thing was that Nick did not disappoint because as soon as he drove into the basket, he was able to sink the ball in, this was the winning shot for JMHS as the buzzer signaled the end of the game. All the other players and cheerleaders immediately rushed towards Nick, including Coach Boomer who looked so proud of his son. It took Greg and Kevin a slower pace to get there as they shared meaningful looks. Kaylee gave her boyfriend a fierce kiss. Shelby patted Kevin’s back as she congratulated Kevin for the team’s first win of the season. Alyssa just stood her ground but Emma saw Greg approach her.

What transpired at that court that evening was the entire narrative of their friend group. Greg and Kevin always having Nick’s back. Nick playing dirty and doing everything to remain a star. Then their passive girlfriends would just turn a blind eye to keep the peace. Emma finally understood what Kevin meant when he said that Edgewater was not ready for her. Edgewater was not ready for anything, especially since everyone was just willing to play along just to take the spotlight away from them as not to shed light to what they really wanted and who they really are. Emma took final photos of the celebrating JMHS team. Emma scoffed at the scene in her screen as she readied to put away her camera gear; she had seen enough theatrics for one night.

Emma jolted as her phone rang early in the morning the following day. She was up promptly as she waited for a call from her mother. Eliza had been having some difficulty in finding time or a stable enough signal for phone calls, that is why she worked around a schedule with Emma. As soon as her phone rang, Emma knew that it her mother.

“Hey ho, kiddo!” A muffled sound came in the receiver.

“Mom!” Emma exclaimed.

“I called Gran the other week, figured you were at school at that time.” The line had a bit of noise but Emma knew that even if Eliza was using a satellite phone, the signal can still be so bad but this was better than nothing was.

“I’m sorry about that; I really miss you, Mom.” Emma cried.

“I miss you more!” Eliza’s robotic voice replied. “So, how is Edgewater treating you so far? It has been weeks since we last talked.”

“Not the best but not worse either.” Emma related.

“Have you been making friends?” Eliza probed.

“Well, a few, Kevin is always an option.” Emma joked.

“I’m sorry, love. I know it was not the best to pull you out and just thrust you there.” Emma could sense the melancholy in Eliza’s voice.

“It’s no problem, Mom. I’m actually enjoying it here. Pops and Gran are here. Kevin is here. I got a new friend at school.” With what is going on with Alyssa now, Emma could not decide if she was referring to Lillianna or Alyssa as that new friend. In her mind, she settled with Lillianna for now.

“A new friend you say? Is she pretty?” Eliza teased. She knew her daughter all too well.

“Why are you instantly assuming that I’m talking about a girl?” Emma retracted.

“Just by the way you omitted that person’s name.” Eliza chuckled. “So, tell me about her. We are not talking about Ronnie’s daughter, aren’t we?”

Emma evaded the last question. “She’s pretty, yeah.” Emma thought of Alyssa. “But that’s not it. Edgewater is different, Mom. People here are different.”

“Is someone giving you a hard time at school?” Eliza determined.

“No, not that I’m obligated to conform or fit the norm. It’s just a school year, Mom. I’ll be in and out before I know it.” Emma thought of Nick.

“Speaking of out,” Eliza caught on. “Do your friends know about you? I mean, I know Edgewater, if these kids are being raised by the same people that I went to school with, you are in for a lot of crap. I think I know what you mean when you say different.”

“Don’t worry, Mom. I haven’t formed deep connections yet, anyway.” Emma lied.

“You’re not obligated to come out to them, you know that, right?” Eliza reminded. “But do what you feel is right.”

“I know, Mom.” Emma assured.

“You know, it’s just that I’m not there. I know that you are very capable of taking care of yourself and Pops, Gran, and Kevin are there for you. But you’ll tell me if something is bothering you, right? I may not be able to reply right away but you can always leave me a message or an email.” Eliza prompted. “Don’t let anyone hurt you or make you think that you are any less than how amazing you are.”

“Yes, Mom. I promise.” Emma knew that Nick seemed hostile around her but she could always avoid him and he was not worth for Eliza to fuss over.

Before Eliza could say anything more, Emma could hear people from the background trying to get her mother’s attention. “I’m sorry, kiddo, I think I need to go, there’s an emergency.”

“It’s okay, Mom, go save lives.” Emma uttered. As much as she wanted to keep talking to her mother, she knew that she had responsibilities.

“I love so much, okay?” Eliza pronounced.

“I love you, too!” Emma expressed. “Take care!”

“I love you, until my next call. Bye, baby.”  

As soon as the line was cut, Emma just stared blankly at the ceiling. One year, she chanted in her mind as she hugged the phone to her chest. Just one year and I will be out of here, it had been her mantra since she arrived. Emma knew that she should not bother herself with anything more. But why did brown eyes flash in her mind as soon as she closed her eyes?

Chapter Text

Alyssa sat on the upholstered visitor’s chair in Ms. Dickinson’s office. She realized that she has not seen the guidance counsellor for a while. She used to see Ms. Dickinson frequently since she started having panic attacks in her sophomore year. Veronica Greene never realized the gravity of the pressure that she placed upon her daughter’s shoulders. Alyssa always had to make sure that she was present in everything, that she was juggling enough extra-curricular activities to fill in her college applications. So, when Mr. Glickman stumbled upon a wheezing Alyssa in one of the empty classrooms one afternoon, he brought her immediately to Angie Dickinson’s office. Since then, Alyssa has been visiting Angie even after she was able to manage her panic attacks.

“I think things have been going well since I haven’t seen you for a while. Please tell me you’re just here to say hello.” The guidance counsellor joked as she pushed a glass jar of assorted candies in front of Alyssa.

Angie knew that a little dose of sugar could somehow improve a person’s mood. Alyssa always reached for the hard candies, especially after Angie had told her that some studies showed that eating hard candies help people decide better. She always took a hard candy.

“I’m sorry about that.” Alyssa apologized.

“It’s your senior year, Lys. You can always tell me if there’s a lot on your plate again.” Ms. Dickinson reminded.

“It’s nothing I couldn’t handle.” Alyssa assured. “It’s something else.” Alyssa looked at the slightly opened office door. 

“Something else?” Angie raised an eyebrow and she stood up to shut the door for complete privacy.

“Yeah, something has been bothering me lately and there are nights that I could not sleep right away just thinking about it.” Alyssa shared.

“Okay,” Angie acknowledged. “You can tell me in full confidence, Lys, you know that, right?”

“It’s…” Alyssa hesitated for a while. “It’s about me…and who I have been thinking about a lot lately.” Alyssa almost faltered.

“Go on…whatever you’re comfortable with sharing.” Angie encouraged.

“You know this new girl?” Alyssa implied.

“Emma Nolan?” Angie assumed.

“You know about her?” Alyssa looked surprised.

“Student files pass through my office, Lys.” Angie smiled. “Plus, I talked to Emma during her transfer. She seems to be a smart girl, progressive thinker for her age.”

“Yeah, she’s smart, interesting, I think we have a lot in common, she’s actually easy to talk to and she’s ridiculously talented. Have you seen her art? A single mom also raises her but she lives with her grandparents now because her mom works abroad. I’m just rambling now, am I?” Alyssa caught herself. Angie noticed the sparkle in her eyes as she talked about Emma.

“She’s just different from all the other kids here, feels like she gets me.” Alyssa added.

“So, are you and Emma friends?” Angie asked.

“Well, sort of, I mean we had a misunderstanding recently.” Alyssa related. “But despite that, I can’t stop thinking about her. Is that normal?”

“Lys, I guess at this point you are quite aware that the people that we care for, we feel differently towards them in many ways. In ethics, Aristotle has given names for these different kinds of loves.” Angie paused for a while. “But as you grow older, I think it’s also about time to think about identity and attraction.” Angie pulled out a colorful pamphlet from her drawer and handed it to Alyssa.

Alyssa read the cover: THE SOGIE SPECTRUM (Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression)

Alyssa gave Angie a worried expression.

“This is a tool in the aspects of human gender and sexuality.” Angie flipped a page. “Usually, our sex is assigned at birth based on our biology. But then, as you can see here,” Angie pointed at a diagram. “It’s a spectrum for about how we see ourselves, how we identify and who we are actually attracted to. We can talk more about this as long as you are comfortable.”

Angie looked surprised when Alyssa pushed the pamphlet towards her. “I know you only mean to help but I think my Mom would flip once she sees something like this lying around the house.”

“Are you sure? Shouldn’t we give her the benefit of the doubt?” Angie brought up.

“You’ve met my mom, right?” Alyssa chuckled nervously.

“But am I right? Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?” Ms. Dickinson confirmed.

Alyssa just nodded.

“How about you come and visit me during your free time when you have questions and we can process this together.” Angie offered.

“Really?” Alyssa looked hopeful.

“Of course, Lys. That’s what I’m here for.” Angie smiled. “I would want you to know that you’re not the only kid in this school with this concern. It’s high time that we set up a GSA.”

“Really?” Alyssa asked in disbelief.

“We just don’t realize how many lives we can change for the better if we start helping young people understand themselves at an early stage.” Angie huffed.

“It’s really hard.” Alyssa admitted. “And utterly confusing.”

“So, Emma Nolan, eh?” Ms. Dickinson grasped. “She’s an interesting kid.”

“Yeah, she is.”

On that note, Alyssa felt comfortable enough to share her uncertainties about her feelings towards Emma with Ms. Dickinson.

Emma was too engrossed with her sketchpad that she did not realize that someone sat beside her on that concrete school bench. She realized that a lot of people had always been coming up to her in covertness. She definitely should be more aware of her surroundings next time.  

“That looks cool.” Kevin gave Emma a friendly shove.

Emma tucked away her pen and closed her sketchpad. “It’s for art class.” She huffed. “It’s life drawing.” Emma was sketching figures of students walking, riding skateboards, and tossing a football.

“I’m always available if you need a model.” Kevin winked.

“It’s not that kind of life drawing, Kev.” Emma shut him down.

“Have you been avoiding me? Are you mad at me?” Kevin delved.

“I’m not avoiding you, it’s just I haven’t seen you in a while.” Emma pretended.

“Is it about that night at the diner?” Kevin realized.

“Don’t be naïve, Kev. You know that it’s more than that.” Emma pointed out. “You know what, I don’t really get it. Why does a guy like you let a guy like Nick push you around?”

“He does not push me around.” Kevin denied. “It’s more complicated than that.”  

“That’s what everyone says.” Emma scoffed.

“Everyone?” Kevin queried.

“Alyssa,” Emma sighed. “Why do you let Nick act the way he does?”

Kevin remained silent.

“Why do you always pass the ball to Nick when you can always take the shot? Why do you let Nick take the spotlight? Why will no one stand up to him? Why are you even friends with him?” Emma bombarded Kevin with questions.

“Because it’s safe, Em. Because we are spared from being taken the swipe at. Because high school will be over soon and then we can all move on with our lives.” Kevin tried to explain.

“Not everyone moves on that easily, Kev. Some people sustain deeper wounds that could last them a lifetime.” Emma stressed. “The scars caused by hatred affect people in an extent that we could never measure. Sometimes words dig deep, actions can haunt, and all of these can trigger thoughts that may destroy someone. It could change a person’s life, the way they see themselves.” Emma paused taking a deep breath and Kevin remained speechless. “Look at you, you have so much potential; you’re kind, you’re great but you just live behind his shadow and people see you as nothing but his sidekick. But you are not that, you don’t share the same beliefs. But you just allow yourself to be clumped together with him just because you’re too scared to show who you really are.” Emma huffed.

“I knew that.” Kevin frowned. “But not everyone is as free as you are. For some of us, expectations have already been set before we even learned to walk.”

“But you can always change that you know. You can always show them.” Emma pat her cousin’s back.

“You know what; it always felt that you were my actual sibling more than my brothers.” Kevin admitted.  

“And you had always been mine.” Emma smiled.

“Thank you, Em. I am sorry for being such a pushover sometimes. I think I just got used to it. At home, I realized that my brothers would only give me a break once I give in and I got used to that. I just got used to giving people what they want so that they would stop.” Kevin mumbled.

Emma gave him a pitiful look. “And you’ll just let them?”

“What choice do I have?” Kevin muttered.

“You always have a choice, Kev.” Emma placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I know, I’ll try…so, are you still mad at me?” Kevin asked.

“I won’t be if you promise to be better to yourself.” Emma established.

“I can play a better game.” Kevin joked. “Speaking of, there’s a victory party at my place tonight.”

“You’re allowed to throw parties?” Emma wondered.

“You know that my parents are never home plus, my brothers will be there. There is some adult supervision.” Kevin wiggled his eyebrows. “For all I know, they’ll just be stoned in the basement.”

“I think I need to check with Gran and Pops. Plus, I can’t afford another encounter with Nick.” Emma reasoned.

“I got Gran and Pops sorted out, they said it will be good for you to socialize more. Plus, you can steer clear from Nick, he’ll be too drunk to notice you anyway.” Kevin urged.

“Edgewater kids and booze on a Friday night? That sounds like a very bad idea.” Emma imagined.

“That’s why you should be there!” Kevin insisted. “You can keep me out of trouble.”

“I think it’s gonna happen tonight.” Shelby giggled.

Shelby, Kaylee, and Alyssa were at Kaylee’s house as they prepared for Kevin’s party. Somehow, despite all her reasoning, the duo had convinced Alyssa to go to the party. Of course, they needed to make up a story for Mrs. Greene. The three of them declared that they were having a sleepover. Actually, they were actually sleeping over at Kaylee’s, they just omitted that they were going to Kevin’s party before that.

“What’s going to happen, Shelbs?” Alyssa asked innocently.

“I might kiss Kevin tonight!” Shelby declared.

“You mean you guys haven’t kissed, yet?” Kaylee looked surprised.

“They haven’t even acknowledged that they are dating.” Alyssa added.

“Then perhaps that will seal the deal.” Shelby put on some lipstick.

Shelby and Kaylee were both dressed in skirts. They told Kaylee’s parents that they were going to the movies, so they just needed to dress casually. Alyssa on the other hand was dressed in a tight pair of dark jeans and a salmon colored blouse.

Kaylee noticed Alyssa’s lack of make-up. “You’re not going out looking like that.” She pulled Alyssa towards the dresser next to her.

“Shouldn’t we look casual enough so that your parents won’t suspect?” Alyssa pointed out, she felt queasy about lying but anything to fit in, right? Plus, this party might take her mind off Emma for a while. After the talk she had with Angie, she had never been more confused. Actually, she is not confused, many things were brought to clarity but saying it aloud would just make it true and was she ready the handle the truth?

“This is casual, Lys.” Kaylee gestured to her dolled-up appearance.

“Okay.” Alyssa conceded.

Kevin’s house smelled like cheap beer, sweat, and a playing field of bad decisions when Emma entered the foyer. Pop music was blasting from a sound system that a couple of kids were operating. The good thing about Kevin’s house was it was in a cul-de-sac, a bit distanced from other houses, so perhaps noise complaints would come in later.

“You made it!” Kevin stumbled upon Emma. He was carrying a blue and white vase in his hand.

“You look frazzled.” Emma sniggered.

“I just didn’t realize this much people would show up.” Kevin looked panicked.

“Still not used to being a popular kid?” Emma sneered.

Kevin just shook his head. “I need to put this away before someone pukes on it. Mom would flip if something happens to her stuff.”

“Hey Kev!” Shelby suddenly emerged beside Kevin.

“Oh hey, I should just put this away…” Kevin motioned at the vase.

“I could do it for you.” Emma volunteered.

“Are you sure?” Kevin narrowed his eyes at Emma.

“I’m sure.” Emma looked at Shelby. “This is your party, go host!” Emma urged.

Shelby flashed Emma an appreciative smile.

“Okay, just keep it inside Mom and Dad’s room.” Kevin tossed a set of keys to Emma. “And keep that room locked.” He added.

“Aye aye!” Emma mocked saluted as she took the vase from Kevin.

Alyssa was standing with Greg and Kaylee when she noticed Emma walk in. She did not expect her to be there because of what happened recently but this was Kevin’s party and they were cousins. Alyssa already had a beer and a half, she already felt a bit lighter at the moment and she thought that this was the best time to talk to Emma again especially since she had somehow gathered up some liquid courage.

She was reminded of her talk with Angie. How she needed to understand things through her own terms. She thought about Emma and how self-assured she was from the start. She needed to talk to her, she needed to sort things out, and she needed to understand things.

“Hey Lys, Greg just asked you a question.” Kaylee pat her shoulder. Alyssa spaced out for a while as she thought about Emma.  

“Huh?” Alyssa turned towards them.

“Would you like to dance?” Greg asked.

“I think I should say hello to someone first.” Alyssa declined. “Maybe when I come back later?”

“Uh, okay.” Greg shrugged his shoulders. Greg and Kaylee shared a knowing look.

“Would you like to dance with me, instead?” Kaylee offered.

“Where’s Nick anyway?” Greg looked around.

“Out there by the keg stand.” Kaylee pointed at a rowdy group of boys near the indoor garden.

“He won’t mind?” Greg hesitated.

“Oh, c’mon Gregory, don’t be such a wimp!” Kaylee chugged her drink and dragged him towards the makeshift dance floor.

As they went to dance, Alyssa looked towards the direction where Emma disappeared earlier.

Emma heaved a sigh of relief as she locked the door of the master bedroom of the Shields’ residence. With her aunt’s expensive vase carefully tucked inside, Emma looked around the hallway wondering what to do next. To her surprise, Lillianna Boomer appeared out of nowhere.

“Fancy seeing you here, Nolan.” Lillianna greeted.

“I could say the same thing to you; this doesn’t seem to be your scene either.” Emma chuckled. “In my case, I’m just here to visit my cousin’s house.”

“Really?” Lillianna raised an eyebrow.

“No, Kevin forced me to be here, said that I should socialize more.” Emma snickered.   

“Well, actually, I was hoping to bump into you.” Lillianna beamed.

“How come? We just saw each other at class today, remember?” Emma joked.

“I have done some thinking and I think…” Lillianna paused for a while as she looked around. 

Most of the people were downstairs, except for a few people along the hallway and the stairs who were playing card drinking games.

“Can we talk somewhere more private?” Lillianna asked, they were still standing in front of the door of the master bedroom.

“Okay.” Emma did notice that there were some people passing by but were not really paying much attention to them but she felt that whatever Lillianna wanted to say, she wanted to say it in private. So, she opened the master bedroom once again with Kevin’s keys and shut the door behind them.

“So, what is it that you wanted to say?” Emma turned towards Lillianna.

But before Emma could hold her bearings, Lillianna had already stepped forward and enveloped her in a tight hug. 

“I just wanted to thank you for what you did for me.” Lillianna blushed as she pulled away. Her brown eyes behind her eyeglasses looked a bit glossy as she anticipated Emma’s reaction.

Emma was speechless for a moment; she did not expect Lillianna to be quite forward. Though a hug from a friend could mean anything but why were her guts telling her otherwise.

“You know that what Nick said was not right.” Emma managed to choke out.

“Yeah but there was some truth to it, though he said it callously. I actually did a lot of thinking and I realized that…” Lillianna admitted.

“What did you realize?” Emma asked.

“This.”

Chapter Text

Alyssa saw Emma carry the vase into the upper floor of Kevin’s house. The crowd of people on the steps were quite a handful and it took Alyssa some time to maneuver around them since a few boys tried to engage Alyssa in some small talk. But Alyssa had her eyes glued on Emma as Emma entered the master bedroom with Kevin’s keys. After a while, Emma exited the room with a relieved look. Alyssa realized that it was the best time to approach Emma but someone else beat her to it. Before she could hold her bearings, Lillianna Boomer already had Emma’s attention. They seemed to be delighted to see each other. Did Emma go to the party to see Lillianna? Did something happen, when Emma went after Lillianna on that night at the diner? Alyssa’s mind was reeling with so many questions.

But before she could think of anything else, Alyssa realized that Emma had unlocked the bedroom once again, inviting Lillianna to follow her. Alyssa may be inexperienced but she knew what happened to couples in locked bedrooms in high school parties.

Too much for bearing my soul out to Emma. As soon as the door shut, various scenes of Emma and Lillianna together played out in Alyssa’s ugly head. So, she decided to do the next best thing any teenager in a party with a broken heart would do- she stormed back downstairs and looked for the strongest drink that she could find in the kitchen cupboards. 

“This.”

Then Emma saw it flash before her eyes, Lillianna Boomer stepping into her space, cupping her chin. Emma stood frozen for a second, her mind whirling in disbelief of what was about to happen. As Lillianna inched closer, Emma caught herself and she took a step back evading Lillianna’s movement.

“Wait, what?” Emma withdrew.

“Oh, shit!” Lillianna retracted. “I’m so sorry, Em.” She covered her face with her hands.

Emma saw the dread in Lillianna’s reaction. Lillianna was about to rush out of the room but Emma caught her arm.

“Wait, calm down.” Emma pulled her close.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I just thought…I read the signs wrong. I’m so stupid.” Lillianna chastised herself.

“No, no, c’mon, sit down, let’s talk about this.” Emma took a seat on the bed and waited for Lillianna to compose herself.

“I’m so sorry; I should not have done that.” Lillianna bit her bottom lip, fighting her tears from falling. “Not without your permission. I just thought we had a moment…” She choked on a sob. “This is so embarrassing. I’m not even sure if you really are into girls.”

Emma gave her friend a sympathetic look. “Look, I know I never denied or confirmed anything. But I wish that I was just honest with you from the start.” Emma took a deep breath as she adjusted her glasses. “I am into girls, I always was.”

Lillianna looked calmer upon Emma’s admission. However, she pieced something together. “Of course, you are but not just into me.” She concluded.

“I’m sorry.” Emma slumped.

“No, Em, I’m sorry.” Lillianna sat beside her. “It’s just moving from place to place. I never really had an actual connection with anyone until you. Edgewater has been so boring until you. No one understood me until you. I just got so caught up with that.” Lillianna realized.

“I guess me being the only other lesbian kid in Edgewater narrows down your options, huh?” Emma managed to joke.

“When you say it out loud that does sound kind of tragic. Come to think of it, I’m not really sure if we are the only gay kids in this town.” Lillianna laughed. “But seriously, I like you Em. I like how you think. I like how you never apologized for being yourself. You have been a really great friend and I think I messed up so bad.” Lillianna reached for Emma’s hand.

“You’re not supposed to say nice things to me.” Emma teased. “I embarrassed you, remember?”

“I guess I just got mixed signals. I just thought there was something there and I should just probably give it a shot.” Lillianna confessed.

“Are you sure you’re not saying this just to make both of us feel better about the situation?” Emma probed.

Lillianna shook her head. “I’m just glad that you handled this graciously and did no further harm to my already bruised ego.”

“So, are we still friends then?” Emma asked.

“If you’ll still have me.” Lilliana replied.

“You know, I hate to end this conversation with a cliché but someday you’ll meet someone more interesting than I am. Someone who will fully sweep you off your feet and charm your socks off, that person will be so lucky to have you.” Emma stated.

“And so will you.” Lillianna countered. 

“I think I already have.” Emma grasped.

“I think I already have a clue who she is.” Lillianna beamed.

“But she’s already dating someone else.” Emma pointed out.

“And you believe her?” Lillianna queried skeptically. “I think you should talk to her and know for sure.” Lillianna advised.  

“Lys, are you okay?” Greg stumbled upon Alyssa at the kitchen. She had a bottle of vodka in her hand and she was pouring herself some more in a red solo cup. She sat on the kitchen counter.

“This burns.” Alyssa croaked after she took a shot.

“Are you okay?” Greg took the bottle away from her.

“Hey, I’m drinking that.” Alyssa protested. Greg realized that she was acting oddly.

“You should not be drinking this straight.” Greg reasoned instead. He gathered that if he agitated her that might drive her to drink more. “Here, I’ll mix a drink for you.” Greg headed towards the refrigerator. He was lucky to find some cranberry juice so he can thin down Alyssa’s drink. “Here, this will taste better.” He handed her the new drink.

“This does taste better.” Alyssa grinned. At that point, Greg realized that she was already too inebriated that she was not acting like her usual composed self anymore. “Let’s dance!” Alyssa hopped off from the counter.

“Are you sure?” Greg looked worried.

“Are you gonna dance with me or not?” Alyssa demanded.

“Alright.” Greg allowed himself to be dragged back towards the dancefloor.

Some dance music was playing so Alyssa was swaying her hips with her arms on Greg’s shoulders. She let her hair down, closed her eyes and moved closer towards Greg. Greg had never seen Alyssa this loose; he sensed that something was wrong. Though he let Alyssa act out, he was glad that he found her and not some random person who could take advantage of her drunken state.

“You’ve always been good to me, Greg.” Alyssa rested her head on Greg’s shoulder.

“Friends take care of each other.” Greg replied still wondering what made Alyssa act this way.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” Alyssa asked.

Greg was actually caught off guard; Alyssa was never this insecure before. “Yes.” Greg furrowed his brows; he did not know where these questions were coming from.

“Do you like me?” Alyssa had now lifted her head and looked straight at Greg.

“Yes.” Greg did not really know what she meant by that but somehow he knew that Alyssa needed some sense of affirmation. He did like her, she is a great friend.

“Then, you won’t get mad if I do this?” Alyssa pulled Greg closer; her lips hovered over Greg’s.

Greg decided not to move, he knew that Alyssa was drunk but he didn’t want to reveal her actual state to the entire student body as well. Soon enough, Alyssa kissed him; it was not sweet nor passionate. It was just a sudden peck, which actually brought back Alyssa to her senses.

“Fucking finally!” Greg heard someone say from behind him, it sounded like Nick. Soon enough they heard some hollering and cheering.

Suddenly realizing that they were still on the dancefloor, Alyssa’s brown eyes had a look of panic. Alyssa’s drunkenness had somehow dissipated and it was replaced by an anxious look. Greg felt Alyssa tremble in his arms, she was about to flee.

“No, Lys.” Greg whispered immediately. “We’ll just walk away slowly, together.” Greg advised.

Alyssa seemed to understand him and she relaxed in his arms. Greg just smiled at everyone when Alyssa just buried her face to his chest. They continued to sway in the dancefloor. When Greg realized that people’s attention were already elsewhere, he led Alyssa out of the house.

Unbeknownst to Alyssa, Emma had seen the entire thing. 

“What did I just do?” Alyssa was almost hyperventilating.

“Breathe, Lys.” Greg was fanning her with his hand as they stood at the street in front of Kevin’s house.

Alyssa relaxed a bit and flopped down on to the curb.

“Are you okay?” Greg sat down beside her. “Do you realize that you just kissed me in front of all those people? I’m a bit flattered but only if you weren’t acting strange all evening.”

“Why aren’t we together, Greg?” Alyssa suddenly blurted out.

“What’s with all these weird questions?” Greg looked confused.

“I mean the entire school has been rooting for us but why aren’t we together?” Alyssa contended. “Plus, you’re so nice to me but you haven’t made a move.”

“So, you decided to make the move instead?” Greg asked.

“Am I that undesirable?” Alyssa huffed.

“Where is this coming from?” Greg was puzzled. “You know that probably a third of the student body has a crush on you, right? The less sensible ones who don’t appreciate how clever you are probably have crushes on Kaylee or Shelby.”

Alyssa just gave him an unconvinced glare.

“You didn’t kiss me back.” Alyssa grasped.

“I believe that that kiss wasn’t meant for me.” Greg pointed out.

“Do you know something about me that I don’t?” Alyssa examined.

“For such a smart girl, you can be so nonsensical sometimes, Alyssa Greene.” Greg laughed.

“What do you mean by that?” Alyssa reacted.

“It is so interesting, just when I thought that you get me, I’m suddenly thinking that you are still too naïve about what’s really going on here, honey.” Greg pointed at the space between them.

“What?” Alyssa was still baffled. She had thought about it before but she never could embrace it as truth.

Greg looked around them, when he realized that they were virtually alone. He moved closer towards Alyssa.

“Greg, have we been…dating all along?” Alyssa stuttered.

“Trust the girl who has very high IQ to have insufficient EQ. I thought I picked the right girl.” Greg chuckled.

“What is going on?” Alyssa was still confused.

“Lys, I thought you knew that you were my beard?” Greg whispered to her ear.

“You’re what?” Alyssa stared at him worriedly.

“That you’re my beard and I’m sort of your beard, whatever it’s called.” Alyssa still did not understand what he was talking about. “Oh my, you still don’t have a clue do you?” Greg smirked. Alyssa just furrowed her brows. “Baby, you should brush up with your lingo. Knowing you, I think you have proven the term useless lesbian to me.”

“Oh my God!” Alyssa moved to cup Greg’s mouth as if he said the filthiest thing, as she looked over her shoulder. She had never said anything out loud and surely, she did not what to hear it from another person and of all people, Gregory Stiles.

“What makes you say that?” Her eyes widened at Greg. If Greg realized it, Alyssa was now bothered whether she was too transparent.

“I always thought that about you, you know how people have gaydar but I guess it does not come naturally with you.” Greg chuckled as Alyssa removed her hand over his mouth. “But when I saw how you flashed heart eyes at Emma, I knew it in my gut!”

“So, all this time…” Alyssa was having a mini-meltdown with the surge of information. “You mean…you’re…” She pointed at Greg.

“Gay,” Greg pointed at himself. “I thought you knew that’s why we were so nice to each other? Don’t tell me you have developed actual feelings for me, Lys? Was that what that kiss was all about? I’m sorry but all I felt about it was utter confusion.”

“At first, I was just too afraid to shut you down because you’re the only decent boy at school. Well, Kevin seems to be decent too and I’m glad he’s with Shelby.” Alyssa rubbed her forehead, too overwhelmed with the information.

“Anyway, now you know.” Greg sighed. “It actually feels good to get it out of my chest. I guess I did pick the right girl.” Greg puffed in relief.

Alyssa just gave him a comforting smile. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“I always thought that you would be the first to break between us.” Greg beamed. “But what transpired tonight was just crazy.”

“In a way, you always had been protecting me, especially, tonight.” Alyssa grasped.

“You always looked like you had no clue in what you were doing.” Greg declared.

“Can I give you a hug?” Alyssa wondered. She’s quite relieved that somehow, even though she liked Greg, she did not feel anything with that kiss and that she liked Greg because he is a great friend. This has brought too many things into clarity.

“Of course.” They shared a tender hug.  

As they drew apart, Alyssa whispered. “Look Greg, I know you’re pretty sure about yourself already but what you think about me…can I say that whatever this is, whatever I am, I’m still trying to figure it out.”

“It’s fine, Lys. It’s fine, you can have your own pace. I just actually figured myself out last year.” Greg bumped his shoulder with Alyssa. “Ms. Dickinson helped me out a lot.”

“Oh, so that’s what she meant…” Alyssa realized.

“That there are other gay kids at school?” Greg confirmed.

“But how come you never said anything?” Alyssa inquired.

“I just thought you figured me out, I thought you knew.” Greg reasoned.

“I can’t just assume anything. You know that I’m not like that.” Alyssa countered.

“Actually, that’s what I like about you; you are never quick to judge. So, do we pinky swear on this, that we’ll keep each other safe until we leave this hell hole?” Greg raised his pinky at Alyssa.

“Yeah, we’ll keep each other safe.” Alyssa intertwined their fingers.

Greg smiled at the thought; he looked thankful. “But you know what, maybe we can make a few adjustments or exceptions, we don’t want to give Emma the wrong idea. She needs to know that you’re available.”

“I think it’s too late for that now.” Alyssa almost fumbled with her words.

“What are you talking about? Have you noticed how she looks at you?” Greg pointed out.

“I just think she’s already preoccupied with someone else at the moment.” It was hard for Alyssa to acknowledge.

“Who? Lillianna?” Greg looked exasperated. “I just think they’re good friends.”

Alyssa gave him a disheartened look.

“What if you’re wrong?” Greg challenged.

“I just saw them disappear into a bedroom upstairs.” Alyssa confided.

“Oh, that’s why you were acting up!” Greg figured out. “But c’mon Lys, we should never jump into conclusions, right?”

“You know what happens in closed doors.” Alyssa pointed out.

“It could mean anything. You just kissed me in front of everyone and that meant something else.” Greg reasoned.

“You do have a point.” Alyssa grasped. “Did I just overreact?”

“Maybe you should just go talk to her.” Greg advised.

“I guess you’re right.” Alyssa agreed. 

They shared tender smiles for a while, too astounded by the bond that they now have.

“So, who is it for you, is it Nick?” Alyssa speculated.

“No way!” Greg was quick to react. “You see how homophobic he is, right?”

“Kevin?” Alyssa pressed.

“I’m not gonna answer that.” Greg just sighed.

Alyssa accepted that response.

“It’s senior year, it’s almost over.” Greg acknowledged. “We’ll survive this.”  

“And as to keeping you safe, I know how hard it is being around the boys at school. I can’t imagine what could happen to you at the locker room once they find out. I’m here Greg, for whatever help you may need, even if we need to keep this façade up just to keep us both safe.” Alyssa offered. She thought that she might not have a chance with Emma anyway, so why not keep helping Greg out.

“We have kept it up for so long, if you never had a clue until now, I think the others are equally clueless. The lengths that I needed to go through just to keep playing basketball.” Greg concluded. He really loved the sport but he is actually looking into going pro and getting into a good university for it. “But promise me that you’ll tell me if this gets in the way of any possibility for you.” Greg comprehended.

“Of course, I promise. Thank you for trusting me.” Alyssa looked at Greg’s blue eyes. She liked the idea, of finding strength in people, of being their confidant.

“Thank you.” Greg smiled back.

Chapter Text

The following week at school, word had gotten out that Alyssa Greene and Gregory Stiles were finally dating and predictably, so were Kevin and Shelby. Emma was happy for the latter couple but she could not say the same for the former. The entire student body just seemed to be elated that their dream couples were finally all together. Basketball players and cheerleaders all suitably paired, it just seemed to be sensible for any popular posse.

“Feels like I’m living in a teen movie.” Lillianna remarked as she exited the art room with Emma.

“As life imitates art.” Emma muttered.

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Lillianna deliberated.

“It could be in whatever which way.” Emma decided.

“Hey, how are you holding up?” Lillianna speculated now that she was aware about how Emma felt towards Alyssa.

“I’m fine, as long as everyone makes right choices.” Emma tried to act okay. If there was one thing Emma was used to, she was used to towing away her feelings.

“You can always talk to me, you know.” Lillianna guaranteed.

“I know, thank you.” Emma appreciated Lillianna’s companionship.

“Well, I’m headed this way.” Lillianna motioned towards the end of the hall.

“I still got a yearbook committee meeting to go to.” Emma puffed.

“Will you be okay?” Lillianna knew that Alyssa led that committee as student council president.

“I’ll manage.” Emma replied as she slung the strap of her messenger bag closer towards her.

Lillianna gave her a mock salute before she headed towards the opposite direction. Emma walked towards the student council office in a slow pace. It had been a few days since she actually talked to Alyssa. Aside from seeing her at homeroom and English class that week, she tried to avoid her as much as possible. Alyssa seemed to be a bit distant as well. She did try to catch Emma’s attention with a smile or wave whenever they bumped into each other along the halls but Emma could only acknowledge her with a nod.

When Emma entered the student council office, there were already students seated around a U-shaped table. Some of them Emma recognized as student council officers and the others were volunteer writers. Carrie, the secretary of the student council was taking down notes in her laptop. Alyssa had her back at the door when Emma entered; she was writing their agenda on the whiteboard. Alyssa was wearing a navy blue V-neck knit sleeveless sweater over her white long-sleeved shirt; she looked preppy. Emma on the other hand was wearing a pair of denim dungarees, a cream sweater, and a black beanie. Emma noticed that most of the seats around the table where occupied so she just sat on one of the empty seats that were lined at the back of the room with two others.

When Alyssa turned, Emma began to see her in a different light. Gone was the hesitant and timid Alyssa that Emma often saw when she was with her friends. This was a more confident Alyssa, a controlled Alyssa. Alyssa began talking when Carrie notified her that almost everyone was in attendance. Alyssa then outlined the timetable of events that they needed to cover for the yearbook. Then, their respective deadlines for submission of materials and articles, and editing and lay outing, so that the printers will have enough time to produce the books for their graduation. Everyone listened to Alyssa and respected her authority and she had never been so attractive in Emma’s eyes. But Emma knew that she needed to get over this crush, now that Alyssa was finally with Greg. Therefore, she kept her head down and focused on her notetaking instead as Alyssa continued with the discussion.  

As soon as Alyssa adjourned the meeting, Emma was quick to pack up her notes as not to capture Alyssa’s attention.

“Hey, Emma.” Perhaps her efforts went to vain, as she heard Alyssa call after her before she could leave the room. All the other students had already filed out of the office.

“Yes, Madam President.” She tried not to sound sarcastic as she turned towards Alyssa.

Alyssa suddenly realized that Emma’s tone was a bit stern, so she decided to just talk business as well. “Principal Hawkins said that we can use some of the equipment at the computer lab if we needed to do some editing and lay outing. You can actually use it for the photos.” Alyssa informed. “We just need to check in with his secretary for that.”

“Oh, that’s good to know. I might work there then.” Emma replied nonchalantly. “Is that all?”

Alyssa contemplated for a while, and then Emma saw her defenses crumble down as she started biting on her lower lip, looking a bit nervous. “I think.” She finally replied.

“Okay.” Emma did not know what else to say.

“Are you done with Mr. Glickman’s reading list?” Alyssa suddenly blurted out. “We haven’t talked much since then.”

“We’re discussing Coelho’s The Alchemist next.” Emma stated.

“Would you still want to hang out at the library and talk about it?” Alyssa presented.

Emma realized that they were back at square one- dancing around each other. But this was no longer a dance, this was no longer a mind game. Emma knows how it ends. She now knows her place and if Alyssa still wants to be friends with her then perhaps, that is how it is supposed to be. Perhaps that is all they will ever be.

“Sure, I’ll see you around then.” Emma tried not to be so cold but can you blame her? Alyssa is an enigma- an unsolvable puzzle, Emma told herself.

“So word in the grapevine is that you and Greg are dating?” Angie pushed the jar of candies towards Alyssa. “So, tell me, how does that work?”

Alyssa just looked at her guidance counsellor disbelievingly- she knew that she was being sarcastic.

“It is not what it looks like.” Alyssa replied.

“What are you doing, Lys?” Angie inquired. “How can two smart kids do something so misleading?” 

“You don’t understand. We are both trying to keep each other safe.” Alyssa tried to explain.

“That is what Greg said as well.” Angie disclosed.

“You know that the bullies in this school can be so mean. You know what they can do to Greg if they find out, right?” Alyssa came clean.

“Nick Boomer is a rotten apple in a fresh bunch if you’re afraid of him, then you shouldn’t be. You should have more faith on your peers; I don’t think that the kids these days are still that close minded.” Angie assured. “If anything happens, you know that you can always tell us, right?”

“We don’t always know how people will react. What about our parents? What if word gets to them?” Alyssa speculated.

“Look, Lys, I am not forcing you to do anything. All I care about is your well-being. You have finally come into terms with yourself and I am here to support you. Finding the right time and withholding the truth is different compared to lying to people’s faces. I know that telling the truth will change both your lives drastically, hopefully, not for the worse. Keeping each other safe is important but not to an extent that you might hurt people along the way. Some people in your life deserve the truth. Don’t do anything that you might regret later on in your life.” Angie advised.

“I know it is wrong but based on all the pressures that we are treading now; do you think that we ever had a choice?” Alyssa defended. 

“I know that there is a price for tolerance, understanding, and love. Look, I don’t want to push you to do something that you are afraid of but I just hope that someday, you’ll gain all the courage to trust yourself with all the love that you truly deserve.” Angie counselled.

“Do you think I’ll ever reach that point, Ms. Dickinson?” Alyssa delved.

“You will because you deserve it.” Angie replied right away.

“She’s given you the cold shoulder, hasn’t she?” Greg huffed beside Alyssa. He found Alyssa sitting alone in one of the concrete benches in the school ground later that afternoon.

“What else should I expect?” Alyssa replied as they looked on at the setting sun.

“Well, at least that means that she gives a damn.” Greg reacted meekly.

“You think so?” Alyssa raised an eyebrow at him.

“She cares enough to be upset.” Greg pointed out. “But are you sure that we should keep this up? It’s not looking good for you and Emma.”

“We don’t even know how Emma feels about me.” Alyssa reasoned.

“But we know how you feel about Emma.” Greg countered.

“As if I could do something about it. On the other hand, we can keep looking out for each other.” Alyssa placed a comforting hand on Greg’s shoulder.

“Thanks for doing this for me, Lys.” Greg smiled timidly. “Really, it means a lot.”

“You would do the same for me, too.” Alyssa declared.

“How long have you been talking to Ms. Dickinson?” Greg asked.

“Ever since I found out that she actually listens and gives sound advice.” Alyssa answered wittingly.

Greg took a deep breath before speaking. “You know, I always dreamed of the day when we could stop hiding like this. When we could fully express who we really are without prejudice, without the fear of other people hurting us.”

“I dream of the day that I can be brave enough to show who I am.” Alyssa hugged herself.

“Emma, she’s something else, she’s fearless, isn’t she?” Greg realized. “She has always been outspoken, I envy that.”

“Yeah.” Alyssa smiled weakly.

“I see why you like her so much.” Greg stated. “I can’t help but think how much I am taking away from you.”

“It’s not your fault, Greg.” Alyssa assured him.

“Just say the word and we can clear everything up. I can talk to Emma, you know.” Greg offered.

“Trust me, there’s no need for that right now.” Alyssa pat him on the back.

As they continued to sit on the bench in silence, contemplating their situation, Kevin and Shelby walked by. Kevin had an arm draped over Shelby’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey, love birds, what’s up?” Kevin greeted with his dimply smile.

“Oh hey…uh…” Greg stuttered. Alyssa was becoming more observant now, trying to gauge if Greg really felt something for Kevin. “Just hanging out here, looking at the setting sun.” He mumbled nervously as he placed an awkward arm over Alyssa’s shoulder, mirroring the position of the couple before them.

“Isn’t that romantic.” Shelby noted. “Kaylee asked if you guys would want to hang out at the diner.”

Alyssa looked at Greg for approval. Greg just nodded enthusiastically. “Sure, why not.” Alyssa replied.

As soon as Alyssa and Greg joined the other couple, Shelby pulled Alyssa next to her and whispered something. Greg walked behind them with Kevin beside him.

Kevin unceremoniously placed his arm over Greg’s shoulders. “Isn’t life great buddy?” Kevin whispered to Greg’s ear.

Greg just nodded with a nervous laugh.

“Hey Pops, what’s up?” Emma entered the garage when she got home from school that afternoon.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you but I noticed that you’ve been moping lately.” George Nolan emerged behind the truck that he was fixing up for Emma.

“It’s nothing big, just school work piling up.” Emma lied.

“Well, I bet this will cheer you up!” George unexpectedly tossed a set of keys towards Emma’s direction.

Emma smiled, as she was able to catch the soaring object from her grandfather’s grasp. “It’s ready?”

“How about we take her for a test drive?” George motioned at the car.

“How do you know they’re a she?” Emma joked.

“Well, it can be whatever.” George mumbled. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be mindful of pronouns.”

Emma just smiled endearingly at her grandfather.

“We can go to the diner and get some burgers and milk shakes; grandma’s coming home late from book club.” George opened the door of the driver’s seat for Emma.

The drive towards the diner was quite humdrum but comforting. The car radio was humming a familiar tune as George sang along. Emma kept her eyes on the road but she enjoyed this quiet moment with her grandfather- away from the entire spectacle at school.

As the Nolans entered the buzzling diner, Emma’s eyes went straight to an empty booth, not caring to look around further. George sat opposite Emma as the wait staff handed each of them a menu.

“Oh, I already know what I want, Tyler. Can you get me an egg-white omelet and veggies and some water, please?” George knew the staff by name. The boy who was just a little bit older than Emma wrote down George’s order.

“I thought we were getting milkshakes?” Emma narrowed her eyes at her grandfather.

“You’re getting a milkshake and a deluxe burger. Grandma will be mad if I get acid reflux again.” George pointed out.

“Actually that sounds good, so that will be a deluxe burger and home fries and a vanilla milkshake, please.” Emma decided. Tyler tipped his paper hat towards her and walked back to the counter.

“So, are you gonna tell Pops what’s bothering you?” George leaned in across the table.

However, before Emma could even answer, someone immediately sat down on the seat beside her.

“Why wasn’t I invited?” Kevin plopped down.

“Because we don’t live in the same house.” George replied immediately.

“What are you doing here?” Emma looked at him skeptically.

“I’m with the gang.” Kevin pointed at a booth on the other end of the diner.

There, Emma saw Nick and Kaylee who looked like they were bickering about something, Shelby who was looking at their direction, and Alyssa and Greg who eventually turned towards them. Emma immediately looked away when she noticed Alyssa. Great, Emma thought to herself, the perks of living in a small town was that it was hard to avoid people.

“He’s in a group date.” Emma concluded.

“A group date you say?” George was intrigued. “So, you finally had the guts to ask Shelby out?”

Kevin just bobbed his head enthusiastically.

“Well, good for you then.” George cheered. “Shelby’s a smart girl but so is Veronica Greene’s daughter, right?”

Emma just shared knowing glances with Kevin.

“She’s with Greg now.” Kevin informed.

“Oh, really?” George looked surprised. “As in dating?”

“Yeah, dating, almost the same time as Shelby and I.” Kevin added.

“I’ll say, I’m a little bit surprised. I mean Greg is a polite and fine lad but isn’t he a bit too soft for Alyssa?” George speculated. “I mean don’t get me wrong, you kids might think that I’m a chauvinist or something, nothing wrong with a sensitive guy but honestly, I just don’t know the exact words or how to put it.”

“What do you mean, Pops?” Emma was interested.

“It’s just my gut is telling me that they don’t seem to have this convincing chemistry, that’s all.” George professed.

“You think so?” Kevin looked at Emma.

“I can be wrong but what do I know.” George chuckled. “Just that Alyssa is a bit headstrong; she needs someone to match her energy.” George made a subtle wink at Emma.

Emma just remained quiet but she knew that her grandfather seemed to sense something.

“Anyway, would you like to officially meet Shelby?” Kevin piped up.

“Why not? But you should invite her to dinner at our place, your Gran would hate it if I’m a few steps ahead of her just because she had book club.” George replied.

In a flash, Kevin went back to their booth to drag Shelby along with him. The other people at the booth where now looking intently at George and Emma’s direction. George gave them a subtle wave. Emma knew that Alyssa was looking at her direction with a worried expression but she still managed to dodge her gaze.

“You don’t like Kevin’s friends?” George asked Emma in a low voice.

“I don’t get why he’s friends with Nick Boomer.” Emma muttered under her breath.

“Is that boy giving you a hard time?” George inquired.

“Nothing I could not handle.” Emma answered with a tight-lipped grin.

“Pretty soon, I hope Kevin stands up to him.” George replied.

“You should tell him that.” Emma mumbled before Kevin and Shelby joined them at their table.

“Pops, meet my girlfriend, Shelby Gonzales.” Kevin introduced.

“Good evening, Mr. Nolan.” Shelby greeted, extending her hand to George. “Emma.” Emma just gave a curt nod at Shelby.

“Pleased to finally meet you Shelby.” George shook her hand.

Emma was suddenly envious at the scene before her; Kevin introducing his girlfriend to their grandfather. Will she ever reach that point? Emma asked herself. As the question lingered in her mind, she decided to give Alyssa one last look but she was caught off guard when she realized that Alyssa was actually still staring right back at her. As hazel eyes meet brown orbs, Emma only felt one thing at the moment, longing, that is all there was between them.

Chapter Text

“So, when are you going to tell me that you’re seeing Gregory Stiles?” Veronica Greene asked across the dinner table.

It was a quiet Saturday evening at the Greene residence when Veronica suddenly brought the topic up.

“I was meaning to tell you but it’s still new and I’m not sure…” Alyssa tried to explain.

“Don’t worry, dear. Gregory seems decent, good, not great but good.” Veronica stated.

“So, you’re not mad?” Alyssa clarified.

“Of course, I am not mad.” Veronica replied but Alyssa knew that there was a but. “But I never realized that you would contend yourself with a jock. Gregory looks like he’s not failing at school but he’s not exemplary either.”

“There are only a handful of decent boys in James Madison, you know that.” Alyssa pointed out. “Greg is great; we have been friends for quite a while.”

“As long as he respects you.” Veronica reminded. “I always thought you would consider the youngest Shields boy; he’s cute.”

Well, I know of someone from the same family, Alyssa thought to herself.   

“Kevin?” Alyssa almost laughed at the thought that her mother admitted that Kevin is cute. “He’s dating Shelby.”

“Hmm, they actually look good together but I guess it’s a good thing that Kaylee got Nick Boomer out of the way and did both of you a favor.” Veronica joked.  

“Nick has been rude to the other kids at school; I don’t see what Kaylee sees in him.” Alyssa pointed out.

“Is Nick bothering anyone?” Alyssa got her mother’s full attention. “We do not tolerate bullying in this community, you know that.” Even though Veronica has been keen on her daughter, Alyssa knew that her mother was well intentioned.

“He hasn’t broken any rules, well not yet.” Alyssa huffed.

“You’re council president; you can always do something about it you know.” Veronica counselled.

“I know.” Alyssa understood.

“But you shouldn’t worry about your high school relationships so much, it will eventually die down once you go off to college and that’s going to be a new chapter.” Veronica affirmed. “Kaylee will outgrow him, you’ll see.”  

“Is that why you are not mad about me dating Greg?” Alyssa probed.

“You know, dear, you are undergoing a lot of changes right now; your body, your mind, it’s changing. A few years from now, you will eventually realize what you really want; I hope that you make sound decisions by then. But remember; always go for what really makes you happy.” Veronica advised.

“But what if what makes me happy will not make you happy?” Alyssa was surprised that she was able to say that aloud.

“Oh, Alyssa, you know that I only want what is best for you. I will be happy when you are.” Veronica replied. Alyssa hoped that her mother actually meant it, she will hold on to that.  

“Whatever will make me happy?” Alyssa continued to seek for affirmation.

“Whatever it is.” Veronica smiled. “But as long as it is not about making me a grandmother this early! Do we need to have that ‘talk’?” Veronica spoke with air quotes. 

Alyssa was actually stunned at her mother’s joke. “Oh no! Greg is nothing but respectful, mom.” Not that Greg was actually interested with her in that manner.

“Look, I don’t really know how you feel about this boy but just be careful, before you regret anything. I was also a teenager once.” Veronica warned. “Don’t let him force you to do anything, you can always say no.”            

“I promise, mom, Greg is not like that.” Alyssa reacted.

“But seriously, Alyssa, no parent would wish for their child’s ill will. You know that you are all I have, right? And I would want nothing but the best for you. So, seek what is best for you as well.” Veronica encouraged.

“So, you don’t like Greg?” Alyssa asked.

“I did not say anything like that but how about you invite him to dinner sometime and I get to know him more.” Veronica offered.

“I’ll see if he’s free soon.” Alyssa settled.

“Good.” Veronica smiled.

Mother and daughter shared an earnest moment for a while before Veronica spoke again.

“You’ll talk to me if anything is bothering you, okay?” Veronica reached for her daughter’s hand from across the table. “You know, it has always has been just you and me.”

“Of course, mom.” Alyssa managed to smile.

“Okay, so to summarize what you just said; Lillianna confessed her feelings for you but you let her down because you realized that you have feelings for Alyssa but before you can declare your love to Alyssa, she suddenly kisses Greg out of nowhere and now they are together. But despite all that, you and Lillianna remain friends and everything is now awkward with Alyssa. Plus, you have now confirmed that you’re not the only gay kid in Edgewater because Lillianna is into you but you are still confused about where Alyssa stands.” Marcus babbled on the screen of Emma’s laptop.

“Eloquently phrased but correction; I am not in love with Alyssa Greene.” Emma amended.

“Well, not yet!” Marcus chuckled.

“And I hope that I never will be.” Emma countered.

“Don’t be such a pessimist, Em.” Marcus spun around his swivel chair as he spoke. “We are young; this is just the right angst for our age. What is deemed as unrequited love is such a tragic and beautiful thing. You can write about it, make poetry, write a song, make a gigantic artwork! Sorrow is your muse!” Marcus teased.

“Can you stop spinning around? You’re making me dizzy!” Emma cried out.

“Dizzy but never confused!” Marcus chuckled. “This is so beautiful!”

“Stop making fun of me.” Emma huffed.

“Sorry,” Marcus stopped spinning in his chair. “But honestly Em, you can just tell her how you really feel. Based on what you told me so far, I bet Ms. Greene is not as straight-edged as you think.”

“She has a boyfriend!” Emma scoffed.

“You’re the one to judge!” Marcus challenged. “She can be bisexual, pansexual, polyamorous, we don’t know that, I don’t know, I should sharpen my vocabulary, I don’t really know what those words mean or for all we know, she hasn’t come to terms with herself yet. She did ask to hang out with you again, you should help her sort it out.”

“That would be conflict of interest, dude.” Emma reasoned.

“C’mon, at least be a good friend to her. If she is confused, help her out. She may not choose you in the end but at least you contributed to her journey of self-discovery.” Marcus wiggled his eyebrows.  

“I hate it when you are right!” Emma sighed. “But that’s too much, Marc. Even I can’t be that selfless. Plus, she needs to figure that on her own, on her own terms.”

“But you are and you know that.” Marcus remarked. “Look, you can opt out and be a shitty friend or be there for her but only when she asks, I did not mean that you force information upon her, just be ready when she asks.”

“Sometimes I feel like you’re an octogenarian born in a gangly boy’s body.” Emma badgered.

“You just hate it when I’m right.” Marcus winked at her from the screen.

“I think this is it.” Alyssa pointed out at a passage from the paperback she was holding.

‘And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.’ It was a quote from their reading assignment, The Alchemist. As promised, they were back studying for their English class in the library once again.

“I don’t know if I believe in that.” Emma shook her head.

“What do you mean? I think this is the most important message of the book.” Alyssa was convinced. “Look, I don’t think that it simply means that you allow fate the carry the flow of your life, I think he’s telling us that if we work hard enough, we get closer and closer towards our goal.”

“But what about those who start at a disadvantage? Isn’t it that some people should work twice as hard to get what they want? It’s not all the time that the universe conspires or lends you a helping hand, for some people, the entire world could be against them.” Emma challenged.

“Shouldn’t we have more fate that things will work out in the end?” Alyssa seemed optimistic.

“That’s totally not my point, Lys. For example, what about people who are prejudiced because of color, do they always get the job they want even if they have enough credentials for it? History has showed us evidence that people of color always need to work twice as hard. How about gender? Women were and in some parts of the world, surprisingly still are relegated to certain jobs and earn less than men earn. How about queer people? How recent was same-sex marriage allowed? How about those who can’t love who they love just because other people don’t see the value in that? Some of people can be stoned to death in some parts of the world just by being queer. Plus, these stones are can be both tangible and intangible. I can only work so hard for so many things that I want but most of the time it is the universe, the people around me who makes things so hard.” Emma made a lengthy explanation that had Alyssa speechless.

“I think I don’t fully agree, it may be hard but somehow people have managed to fight. Though it has been a long struggle but women’s movements, gay rights, racial justice, there had been some wins and what we experience now is because people did something, people wanted something, people achieved something and the struggle should continue.” Alyssa countered.

“Of course, but only if people continue to fight, Lys. Only if we continue to find the courage to speak our truths. If we stop, who else will do it for us? But it can be tiring and unfair.” Emma warranted. “I think this explains it better.” Emma points at another passage.

‘What is the world’s greatest lie?’ the little boy asks. The old man replies, ‘It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.’

“We win battles because we do not just let everything run its course. It’s because we do something when we have to, especially for what would make our world a little bit better.” Emma elucidated.

Alyssa looked up to Emma’s hazel eyes, even behind her spectacles; swirls of light brown and green seem to enrapture Alyssa. She did not know if they were still talking about the book but she knew that she needed to do something at some point. Emma’s words resonated what was left unspoken between them.  

“Emma, hey wait up!” Greg was jogging towards Emma as she was about to hop on her truck.

“Oh hey, Greg.” Emma tried to sound polite.

“Can I talk to you?” Greg looked around the almost empty parking lot.

“Sure.” Emma was a bit hesitant but she was definitely curious about what Alyssa Greene’s boyfriend wanted with her.

“It’s about me and Alyssa.” Greg whispered.

“Huh?” Emma was confused. “If you need advice, we are not that close. You have been her friend for years.” Emma clammed up.

“It’s about the truth regarding our relationship.” Greg implied.

“What are you talking about, Greg?” Emma crossed her arms over her torso.

Greg looked around once more before speaking again. “We are not really together in the sense that most people believe. We have been keeping up with this charade for quite a while.”

Emma was stunned by this sudden surge of honesty from Greg.

“Look, we had always been good friends but then after puberty, guys started noticing Alyssa. I mean, I can’t blame them, she’s smart, kind, and pretty but then since we kept hanging out, I observed that most of them started backing out because they thought Alyssa and I were together.” Greg recounted.

“And I needed to know this because?” Emma did not know why Greg thought she needed to know the details of their dating history.

“Please let me finish,” Greg requested. “You see Alyssa and I had always been good friends. When adolescence hit, I started noticing things about myself, too. Sure, it was logical that a guy like me would like Alyssa but I don’t like her like that, I can’t like her like that.” Greg took a deep breath. “You see, Em. This is all a guise, a façade.”

At this point, Emma recognized how much the kids of Edgewater worked just to keep up appearances and meet expectations. Listening to Kevin, Alyssa, and now Greg, Emma felt privileged that her family and her environment back home had always allowed her to act so freely. The extent that they needed to go through just to save face in Edgewater was bewildering; all the charades, all the theatrics, just to look like they were typical instead of being special.

“What do you mean?” Emma narrowed her eyes at Greg.

“I don’t like girls, Em. I think I like boys. No, scratch that, I like a boy.” Greg admitted.

Emma was just slack jawed at Greg’s revelation. 

“Can you please say something?” Greg’s blue eyes was searching Emma’s hazel eyes for a reaction.

“You mean you guys are just pretending to date?” Emma whispered as she looked around making sure they were out of earshot.

Greg nodded unreservedly. “I’m gay, Em and Alyssa has been helping me hide it.” He whispered back.

“So, that kiss at Kevin’s party that did not mean anything?” Emma realized.

“You saw it?” Greg grasped. “Well, I did not know what got Alyssa so riled up that evening. I guess it was just a result of poor judgment on her part.” Greg cleared.

“What makes you think she doesn’t like you? What if after this charade, she really has feelings for you.” Emma speculated.

“We talk when sober, Em.” Greg chuckled. “She has feelings but I’m really sure that those are not for me.”

“But I don’t still see the point why you need to tell me this.” Emma was still in denial of her feelings for Alyssa. Had Greg sensed it?

“You can’t fool me, Em. You know why and why would I risk my neck if I don’t think it’s not worth it.” Greg countered. “Look, I know how it feels to pine on someone from afar. I know how it feels when you think like you are not allowed to have feelings for someone. That is why I want it to end with me. I may not have a chance on anyone in this school. But you, Em, you have a chance at something. I know that look.”

“Why do you sound so sure?” Emma challenged.

“Just do me a favor and go talk to Alyssa, okay?” Greg urged.

Emma just nodded in reply. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Also, you won’t tell anyone about me, right?” Greg confirmed.

“I got your back, Greg. From now on, we both got each other’s back.” Emma acknowledged. “Again, thank you for telling me and trusting me with this.”

“You aren’t just courageous, Emma Nolan, you’re loyal, too.” Greg smiled. “So, is it safe to assume that we can be friends now? Now that I cleared the air?”

“Of course.” Emma smiled. “Can we seal it with a hug?”

“Of course.” Greg nodded as they moved to hug each other.

She did not know how Greg saw through her, was she that transparent? She also did not know what Greg knew about Alyssa. But Emma had this feeling that Greg only meant well and if they plan to survive high school, they needed to stick together.

“I always had a good feeling about you, Emma Nolan.” Greg remarked.

“I can’t say the same about you.” Emma joked.

The air was certainly cleared between Emma and Greg, this probably opened up a chance for a profound friendship but the pair did not notice that someone had been listening to their entire conversation all along.

Chapter Text

DYKE

The word could not hurt more; it was often viewed as derogatory. However, some lesbians may have somehow reclaimed it by self-identifying with the word to differentiate themselves from other lesbians but somehow with malicious intent, it remains as a homophobic slur. That was the word spray painted in bold electric blue letters all over the windshield of Emma’s truck.

Emma just stared in utter shock at the parking lot of James Madison High School.

“Is it true?”

“She’s the new girl, right?”

“Who would do such a thing?”

“Is that Emma’s truck?”

“So, Emma’s a lesbian?”

“I always found her odd.”

“I told you so.”

“Yeah, so what?”

Whispers were making Emma’s head spin; she was so conflicted on what to do, she wanted to scream at people, she wanted to cry, she wanted to flee. Emma has not denied anything about herself nor she felt the obligation to come out to all these people but she never did blatantly wave the rainbow flag in front of people’s faces. She just did not want all the attention that she was getting and for the wrong reasons.

Emma felt nauseated at the scene; her stomach was churning out of rage, out of anxiety. Emma could not breathe. Her head was spinning and she only had two options, fight or flight; she chose the latter. But before she could run away from the entire scene, she bumped into someone and lithe arms held her close.

Emma knew that the presence was familiar, until she whispered to her ear. “Let’s go, Principal Hawkins should know about this.” Alyssa Greene held her hand firmly and led her away from the parking lot.

“Just keep walking, Em. Don’t look. Don’t mind them.” Alyssa had a tight grip on her hand.

Emma did not say a word, she was too angry, too dazed to say anything. She was just glad that Alyssa was there when she needed her.

KEEP YOUR BOXERS ON, HOMO IN THE SHOWERS

Bold dripping red letters where splashed all over the tiles of the Men’s Shower Room. It was after the practice when the entire Men’s Basketball Team stumbled upon this defacement of school property. Greg knew that it was for him, Greg knew that someone was out to get him.

“Fuck bro, who is he talking about?” Eddie, the team’s center asked in disgust.

“All this time, there has been a faggot amongst us?” Another player exclaimed.

Greg stood in the middle of the room with his duffle bag on his shoulder. He felt so trapped; he could not say anything.

“Who do you think is it, Greg?” Nick chuckled behind his locker door.

Greg was just stunned; Nick had put him on the spot.

“Of course no one would admit to that.” One more member of the team pointed out.

Greg just looked petrified; his blue eyes never looked so big.

“Why so quiet, Greg?” Nick probed.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Eddie was quick to point out. He approached Greg, hurriedly pulling him by the collar of his jersey. “Answer me!” Eddie was known to be hotheaded, he moved to punch Greg right at the face but someone grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Put him down.” Kevin pushed Eddie away from Greg.

“Trying to be his knight in shining armor, that’s just so gay, Shields.” Someone scoffed. “So, there must be the two of you!”

But before Kevin could say something back, someone’s fist already hit his face and there was a sudden commotion in the locker room. If Coach Boomer had not entered the locker room when he did, Kevin and Greg would have suffered worse than a black eye and a bloody lip.  

Alyssa, Emma, Kevin, and Greg all found themselves in the waiting room outside Principal Hawkins’ office that evening. They could only hear muffled conversation coming from Hawkins’ office. Betsy Nolan and Greg’s father, together with Principal Hawkins, Coach Boomer, and Ms. Dickinson were all inside the office. Betsy was there in behalf of both Kevin and Emma since Kevin’s parents were out of town for work again. Alyssa was allowed to stick around as witness and emotional support. After the four students had given their statements, they were told to wait outside while the adults deliberated on the next steps of the process.

“I didn’t want dad to find out this way.” Greg finally sobbed as he hugged himself. His knees were shaking.

He and Kevin were all patched up in the nurse’s station, Kevin held on to an ice bag to his eye.

“I don’t think your dad is capable of hating you for it.” Kevin comforted his friend.

“I just didn’t want him to find out this way you know; I wanted to say it in my own terms.” Greg repeated.

“I can’t believe someone is capable of doing this.” Alyssa huffed.

“Have you told anyone?” Greg glared at Emma, seemingly misdirecting his anger.

“Why on earth would I put us in this situation?” Emma answered back, she gave him a pointed look.  

“What?” Kevin looked confused.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, Em.” Greg shook his head. “Sorry for acting this way, I just don’t understand how this escalated quickly.” Greg apologized.

“We all know who’s capable of doing this.” Emma sighed.

“You think he did it?” Greg looked at Emma’s direction.

“We didn’t see him defend Greg in that locker room. If he’s really your friend, he should be seated beside you with a black eye as well.” Emma pointed out.

“He did shake up all the other players. If I wasn’t there, it could have been ten against one, Em.” Kevin shared.

“Thank you for always being there for me.” Greg looked at Kevin almost teary-eyed.

“I would be there for you no matter what, dude. Ride or die, remember?” Kevin managed to smile.

Alyssa and Emma looked at each other; they knew how much what Kevin said meant to Greg.

“So, I guess this is it, Greg. We either live our truths or keep our heads down in this hell hole.” Emma admitted.

“Hey, not everyone in this school is as close-minded as whoever did that. Look, Alyssa and I are here and we are part of this school.” Kevin encouraged. “Like what I always told you Em, Edgewater is never ready for you. But look, some people think otherwise, though we remain a minority.”

“Yeah, I guess we can only beat them in numbers, right?” Alyssa added.

“Are you sure, Lys? You can’t just come out tomorrow. Look what happened to us.” Greg blurted absentmindedly.

“So…you’re…what?” Emma was not able to finish her question. Kevin smirked at his cousin’s reaction.

Alyssa just nodded. “Can we talk later?” She directed the question at Emma.

“Yeah, sure.” Emma replied meekly.  

“Look, if we don’t speak our truths, we give them the power to control everything around us. How many more kids need to suffer in the shadows? Hiding themselves just because bullies like Nick Boomer exist.” Alyssa declared. Emma gave her an endearing smile; she actually reached out to hold Alyssa’s hand.

“We should be careful of accusing anyone, we don’t have actual evidence.” Greg realized.

“So, we’re actually doing this?” Kevin smiled.

“For the first time in the longest time, I actually feel so free.” Alyssa took a deep breath.

“Yeah, I don’t even care if I lose my sports scholarship over this.” Greg was still able to laugh.

“What are we doing exactly?” Emma asked.

But before anyone could answer, the adults had flooded out of Principal Hawkins’ office.

“My son has nothing to do with it and I’m gonna prove it to you!” Coach Boomer spat at Mr. Stiles.

“Now, Nicholas, we’ll conduct an investigation. Please calm down.” Principal Hawkins led Coach Boomer out of the office.

Coach Boomer gave the four students a stern look before letting himself be led out.

“Dad, I can explain…” Greg stood up abruptly to meet Mr. Stiles.

Mr. Stiles held his hand in front of Greg. He took a deep breath and these few seconds felt like eternity for Greg.

“Look, Gregory, I am your dad and I must admit I was in denial for a while…but I always kinda knew.” Mr. Stiles placed both his hands on Greg’s shoulders. “When you told me you were dating Alyssa Greene, I thought I was wrong but thank you for protecting him.” He smiled at Alyssa. “Also, two against ten? Those boys didn’t know who they were messing with. Thank you for having his back, Kevin. I think you have great friends here.” Mr. Stiles looked at Kevin and then Emma. His blue eyes just exuded sincerity.

Greg was just out of words, he could not believe how his father was taking all of this in.

“You are never alone in this, son.” Mr. Stiles pulled Greg into a hug. Ms. Dickinson was quietly wiping stray tears as she looked on at the scene.

“Let’s go home, shall we? Tomorrow’s another long day.” Mr. Stiles exhaled. “Oh, Alyssa, dear, is your mom picking you up? We can drop you off.” He offered.

“Lys can ride with us, Sir.” Kevin intercepted.

“Alright then,” Mr. Stiles grinned. “Mrs. Nolan, Ms. Dickinson, thank you.” He bade everyone farewell with a protective arm over Greg’s shoulder.

“Are we in trouble, Gran?” Kevin asked.

“We will be if we don’t get rid of that bruise on your eye before your parents come back.” Betsy ruffled Kevin’s hair.

“I’ll pretend I did not hear that.” Ms. Dickinson stated. “It’s already late but you kids have appointments with me tomorrow and until the investigation is on-going.”

“Thank you, Ms. Dickinson.” They said in unison as Angie led them out of the room.

“Now, Kevin, where’s your car? I’ll be driving us home.” Betsy searched the parking lot.

“I can drive, Gran.” Kevin protested as he dangled the keys in front of his grandmother.

“Not with one eye, you don’t. Let’s go, we got to get Alyssa home or else Veronica would be worried.” Betsy snatched the keys from Kevin.

“What about Emma’s car?” Alyssa searched the almost empty parking lot for a blue truck.

“Their Granpa took care of it; it’s nothing his friends at the auto shop can’t fix.” Betsy motioned for them to hop on Kevin’s car.

Kevin automatically rode shotgun and Emma opened the door of the rear seating for Alyssa. Too much has transpired that afternoon and Emma wished that she at least could have a moment with Alyssa to thank her for what she did for her properly.

“Hey, thank you for today.” Emma whispered before Alyssa entered the vehicle.

“Anything for you.” Alyssa squeezed her hand.

Alyssa held Emma’s hand during the entire ride. With her cousin and grandmother in the car, Emma tried to contain her reaction. She would talk to Alyssa about it later. But Betsy could not help but notice their interaction from the rear view mirror, she just smiled to herself.

When they arrived at the Greene Residence, it was already dark and Veronica was already standing at the driveway. Betsy got out of the vehicle immediately and talked to Mrs. Greene.

“Are you going to be okay?” Alyssa turned to Emma before exiting the car. She had already let go of Emma’s hand by then. Emma noticed how sweaty her palm was but Alyssa looked like she did not mind.

“Don’t worry Emma’s one tough cookie.” Kevin chuckled from the front seat.

“I will be, are you?” Emma replied.

“I will be.” Alyssa took a deep breath before hopping off the car.

“See you at school, Lys.” Kevin called out.

“Goodnight, Alyssa. Thank you for today.” Emma whispered.

“Goodnight. It was the right thing to do.” When Alyssa started to walk towards her mother, Mrs. Greene was already done talking to Betsy.

“Don’t worry about it, kid. I explained everything to your mom.” Betsy gave her a pat on the back before heading back to the car.

Alyssa stood beside her mom at the driveway as the Nolans took off.

“So, Betsy told me what happened at school and what you did for Emma.” Veronica remarked as they entered the house.

“It was the right thing to do.” Alyssa kept telling herself. She did not know how her mother would react knowing that she defended her gay friend at school. Actually, she simply defended Emma.  

“I know, Alyssa. I know.” Mrs. Greene assured. “Is there something you are not telling me?”

Alyssa realized that this was probably the best moment to talk to her mother. It has been a rough day anyway. Why not just take the plunge?

“Mom, what if I am not everything you always wanted?” Alyssa croaked.

“What are you talking about, superstar?” Mrs. Greene turned towards her daughter. “I know I may be hard on you but look how much you have accomplished. I may not be so validating but you do know how proud I am of you, right? You are not like can of beans that I can return to the store just because it is dented, you are my daughter.” Veronica furrowed her brows.

Upon hearing her mother utter those words, Alyssa crumbled. She rushed forward and enveloped her mother in a tight hug, tears running down her face.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Mrs. Greene held on to her daughter as Alyssa sobbed on her shoulder.

“What if I am not who you think I am?” Alyssa cried.

Alyssa felt her mother took a deep breath before speaking. “Look, love, I must admit that at first I was in denial. That I intentionally pushed you into things trying to correct you. But I can’t just look on anymore, seeing you lie to me, seeing you lie even to yourself every day.”

“What do you mean?” Alyssa looked up to her mother.

“Sweetie, I know.” Mrs. Greene cupped her daughter’s face.

“You know?” Alyssa gulped.

“Of course, Alyssa, I am your mother. No matter what you think, I see you. It’s just you and me in this house.” Mrs. Greene explained but she had this expression on her face that Alyssa could not decipher. “At first, I thought your attention was just elsewhere because I pushed you to perform well at school. But as Shelby and Kaylee were having crushes, I realized that I never noticed you talk about anyone. Then, I thought maybe nobody has caught your eye yet. However, the signs were there. Those Rita Mae Brown novels that you read, those aren’t just about cats, right?” Veronica smirked at her daughter. “When you started dating Gregory Stiles, I thought it did not make sense. But then after talking to Betsy, everything fell into place now. You and Greg were just protecting each other.” Veronica concluded. “Plus, you talk so much about Emma.”

“Mom, you should have seen what they did to Greg and Emma.” Alyssa cried out.

“I know, love, that is why I have been wishing that you could live life differently. It’s going to be a hard life and you need to fight every day and I know that I will not always be around to protect you.” Veronica mumbled.

“I know it’s hard, mom but I am not alone in this, right?” Alyssa searched her mother’s face for assurance.

“Is this what you really want?” Veronica asked.

“Yes, mom, it is what I always wanted, how I always see myself.” Alyssa replied.

“It’s not going to be easy.” Veronica huffed.

“Yes, I know it’s not.” Alyssa determined. “So, you’re not mad at me?”

“I can never be mad at you.” Veronica established. “I can be disillusioned sometimes but I can’t stay mad. I love you; you are the only family I got. You are my world. I can never turn my back on you.”

“So, you’re fine with this?” Alyssa pointed at herself.

“Alyssa, you can say it you know. It’s part of who you are and you are my daughter.” Veronica guaranteed.

Here it goes, Alyssa told herself. “Mom, I am a lesbian.” After saying that in front of her mother, Alyssa felt like so much weight was taken off her.

There was a pregnant pause; Alyssa could not read her mother’s reaction. But she told herself that she would be ready for anything. However, what happened next shocked her. Veronica took a deep breath and approached her daughter. Then her mother enveloped her in a tight hug.

“Like I said, I always knew but I was just too afraid to admit it. I did not know if I could be a good mother to you given the circumstances. I’m so sorry, Lys.” Veronica admitted. “I might say the wrong things sometimes, react the wrong way…”  

“You are already great, mom.” Alyssa hugged her mother again.

“You will always be my superstar, no matter what.” Veronica whispered to her daughter’s ear. “I just don’t want you to have a hard life.” She croaked in tears.

“Keeping you in my life, mom. I know it won’t be as hard.” Alyssa teemed back.

Chapter Text

“Are you going to be okay?” Mrs. Greene brought the car to a full stop in front of James Madison High School.

“I’ll be fine, mom.” Alyssa replied as she placed a kiss on her mother’s cheek.  

“Call me immediately if something bad happens.”

“Nothing bad will happen.”

“I will talk to Principal Hawkins about zero tolerance in this school.”

“He’s on top of it, mom.”

“Nothing I can’t bring up with the PTA. Violence is never the answer.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“You have all your belongings?”

“I got everything, mom.”

“Alyssa.”

“Yes?”

“Take care, okay? It’s nothing you can’t handle.”

“Thank you, mom.”

“Stay safe, superstar! You can do this.” There’s nothing more reassuring that words coming from her own mother.

Alyssa gave her mother a curt nod as Mrs. Greene finally drove away.

Before Alyssa could take a step further, she realized that someone had already walked up to her.

“Lys!” Shelby waved at her. “Kevin told me what happened last night. So, did they know who did all the vandalisms?” Shelby inquired.  

“Principal Hawkins has ordered an investigation.” Alyssa deadpanned.

“I understand that we did not know about Emma because she’s new here but why do you think did Greg not tell us?” Shelby looked downtrodden.

“Maybe because some people at this school makes it dangerous for him.” Alyssa pointed out.

“I’m sorry if I never made people feel safe.” Shelby realized.

“It’s not just the violence, Shelbs. It’s the prejudice, the ridicule, the hurt that some people are so capable of doing.” Alyssa stated.

“I know Lys and I regret not being able to make people feel safer around me. Like Greg could not tell us.” Shelby acknowledged.

“But we still have a chance of making things better, right?” Alyssa had a determined look on her face.

“What do you have in mind?” Shelby speculated.

Due to all the violence that happened on the school grounds the previous afternoon. Principal Hawkins called for a student assembly instead of homeroom the following morning. Greg stood a few feet away from the door of the gymnasium; he was gathering all his strength to stand in front of his classmates after news had broken out. People did try to pretend not to notice him but some eyes did linger. He had his varsity athlete jacket on, a crisp white shirt, and a pair of tight fit pants, nothing out of ordinary. However, before he could take a step further, a strong hand gripped his shoulder. He was about to squirm away until he noticed who the hand belonged to.

“Hey, so are you ready to walk in there?” Kevin smiled still with a blackened eye, he was wearing a JMHS t-shirt and a pair of denim pants. Emma beamed behind him; she had on a pair of denim dungarees, a black t-shirt underneath and her usual beanie.

“Oh, it’s just you.” Greg made a sigh of relief.

“Sorry to frighten you.” Kevin apologized.

“I know it was traumatic but let’s try to overcome it one day at a time.” Emma encouraged.

“Thank you, guys.” Greg beamed.

“Shall we?” Kevin placed his protective arms over Emma and Greg’s shoulders.

As the trio walked in, all eyes were diverted towards their direction but they did not pay much attention until they found seats for themselves. Emma searched for Alyssa from the crowd but all she found were Kaylee and Shelby seated next to each other. Kaylee had her head down and Shelby gave her a sympathetic look.

“Is this seat taken?” Lillianna plopped down beside her.

“You should not be fraternizing with the enemy, Boomer.” Greg muttered under his breath when he noticed Lillianna.

“We have the same enemy, Stiles.” Lillianna remarked.

“Well, if you’re ready to go down with us, then you’re in for a treat.” Emma added.

“Wait, where’s Alyssa?” Greg realized but before anyone could answer, Kevin diverted their attention towards the stage.

“Look, Hawkins is here.” Kevin pointed out.

Emma could still hear whispered questions and accusations from the students around them but she tried to focus on Principal Hawkins who was now walking up the dais placed in the middle of the gym. Other faculty members stood around him but Coach Boomer was noticeably absent and so were most of the basketball team members if you looked around.

“Good morning, everyone, I suppose you all have an idea why you are all here. Yesterday at around six o’clock in the afternoon, some acts of vandalism and damage of school property occurred. This also included acts of violence against some of our students. While the investigation is still on going, I could only reveal as much regarding the matter. I know most of you are curious and you have been hearing stories from people who are trying to piece things together that is why I am reiterating our policies in restorative justice and behavioral programs. My office as well as the district’s student disciplinary tribunal will process the students who are involved in this matter as well as those suspected. So, it is best not to speculate and not add further harm toward the persons involved.” Hawkins paused for emphasis. “Ms. Dickinson has volunteered to help you better understand the policies indicated in your student handbook. Her office will be open to any of you who have related concerns. We do not condone hateful acts in this school especially ones that involve prejudice against race, class, and gender. If you have any information regarding the events that occurred yesterday, please come to my office. I assure you that everything you say will be kept in confidence and handled with utmost attention. Together, let us continue to build safe spaces for everyone in our community.”

Principal Hawkins looked at Ms. Dickinson once again; Angie gave him a curt nod.  

“But before you go back to your classes, I believe that the student council has proposed a course of action related to these events. May I present you, Alyssa Greene, our student council president.” Principal Hawkins handed the microphone over to Alyssa.

Alyssa had a look of panic in her eyes but Emma could tell that she was fighting it. Oh, Alyssa, what are you up to? Emma asked herself. They haven’t found any time to talk after the events yesterday, so Emma did not have a clue on what was reeling inside Alyssa’s mind.

“What is she up to?” Kevin asked Greg.

Greg just shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know but my gut is churning.”

“Hello, everyone…” Alyssa took a deep breath to calm herself. She had the full attention of the entire student body. “In light of the recent events, I have briefly convened with the student council, our Principal, and our guidance counsellor this morning. As student council president, I realized how much we have failed to practice the values taught to us by our parents and this very institution that we attend. Inside the classroom, we learn about courage to speak our minds, boldness to think freely for ourselves and acceptance of our differences and the things that we could not change.” Alyssa caught Ms. Dickinson’s eye her voice was almost shaking, but Ms. Dickinson urged her to continue.

“But the current acts of bullying and violence by some students have showed us that we have a long way to go. It showed us how much fear we have of things that we could not understand.” Alyssa’s gaze found Greg. Greg just smiled at her timidly.

“I, myself have experienced this fear and at a young age, we can say that sometimes we tend to make thoughtless mistakes only to fit certain societal standards.” This time Alyssa looked at Emma. Emma was almost teary eyed; she was in awe. “I saw my friends get hurt, only because they were themselves. You see, we are all born and raised differently but somehow, we know right from wrong. We may not all be alike but that does not give us license to hurt other people. It is through this fear that I felt crippled, that for the longest time I felt in danger by just being who I am. You see, we cannot change this environment if we don’t change ourselves because we are the ones creating this space.” Alyssa found Shelby and Kaylee amidst the sea of students.

“I think it is about time to act up, to speak up. This may be my last year in James Madison High School but I hope to create some change through the voice that you have given me. With the permission of Principal Hawkins and the guidance of Ms. Dickinson, I have proposed to institute a Gay-Straight Alliance in James Madison High School. This will be a student-led and community-based organization that will help LGBTQ+ students to better understand ourselves, find support, and establish a safe space for our allies and us. Yes, you heard right, I am part of this community, I am a lesbian and I had the same reasons for hiding just like the other students in this school.” Alyssa looked relieved to having finally said it. Some students were dumbstruck, others were whispering among themselves. There was audible buzzing from the crowd but Alyssa tried to keep calm and ignored it. “If you have any questions, just feel free to approach me or any of the council members. Just like what Principal Hawkins said, together, we can build a safer space, thank you for your time.” The gymnasium was quiet for a while and Alyssa knew that her entire life would change after this stint. People might talk about her, even go to the extent of bullying her but she knew that what she did was right, honest, and it actually felt good. She had never felt so relieved after such a long time.

As Alyssa stepped down from the platform, what she did not expect was that her small speech would actually be met by thundering applause.

Before Greg could even say anything to Emma, he realized that she was no longer in her seat.

Alyssa had never felt so exhilarated in her entire life as she walked through the dugout of the gym. She smiled gingerly to herself; it felt like she could finally breathe. What she did not anticipate was that someone was already waiting for her at the end of the hall.

“You did it.” Emma remarked softly as she stood in front of Alyssa.

“I did it.” Alyssa acknowledged.

“You did not just admit it to yourself but you told everyone.” Emma nervously hid both her hands inside her pockets.

“Yeah, I think I just did.” Alyssa grasped; she was still overwhelmed.

“So, what are you going to do now, Madam President?” Emma titled her head as she asked her question. Alyssa could feel nothing but enamored as Emma’s eyes shone into a mixture of yellowish-brown and light green.

Alyssa was still on a high and she could not deny the sudden height of confidence that surged within her. She did not think twice as she pulled Emma Nolan closer towards her.

Before, Emma could say anything else Alyssa jerked her forward and pressed her lips on Emma’s lips. Emma was stunned at first as the actual action continued to unravel in her thoughts but she melted into the kiss when she got hold of herself. They broke away eventually and just stood there staring at each other.

“What just happened?” Emma shook herself out of stupor.

“Oh shit! I’m sorry! I just got so caught up that I did not mean to force anything on you, Em. Not without your consent…” Alyssa panicked momentarily.

“What are you talking about, Lys? Why do you think I came after you?” Emma chuckled heartily. “Not that I have any complaints but you should have asked me out on a date first. But this just proves that this is surely not a one way street.” Emma adjusted her eyeglasses in relief.

“So, you sorta knew?” Alyssa asked.

“Greg said that it was not his secret to tell but when he told me that he is gay and that your relationship was a façade, I kind of figured it out but still I wasn’t so sure.” Emma admitted.

“So, you talked to Greg?” Alyssa confirmed.

“Yeah, he told me the other day at the parking lot…” Emma shared but she paused with a sudden realization.  

“Someone must have heard you…” Alyssa figured out.

“That’s why the vandalisms happened the next day!” Emma comprehended.

“Whoever that was must be involved with the attacks.” Alyssa understood.

“Should we tell Hawkins?” Emma probed.

“Yeah, if that would help the investigation. Maybe we could ask him to look at the security cameras at that time at the parking lot.” Alyssa grasped.

“We got security cameras?” Emma wondered.

Alyssa grabbed Emma’s hand. “Let’s go, Em.”

“Wait.” Emma suddenly stopped in her tracks; Alyssa looked at her in bewilderment. “Just to be clear, I like you, Alyssa Greene and that means romantically and not just as a friend.”

Alyssa smiled at Emma’s abrupt confession. “Just to be clear, I like you, too, Emma Nolan and not just as a friend.” Alyssa replied before they sprinted towards the Principal’s office, hand in hand.