Chapter Text
Damian’s feelings for Timothy have always been… complicated.
He first came into the Manor hating his future older brother, resenting the pretender for living the life he was supposed to live.
He wasn’t even blood!
Besides, there was nothing special about Drake, especially when compared to the others. Grayson had a prestigious acrobatic background, as well as being Father’s first-chosen. Then came Todd, the street-rat. He was big, brash, and insufferable. He was the outcast, the one that didn’t play by Father’s rules. The one that died in the line of duty, the one who made the ultimate sacrifice. Cain was trained to become the perfect warrior, a martial artist in her own league. And even Brown could be tolerable, having some redeemable qualities to her.
But Drake was just a waste of space, a nuisance. An intruder that should’ve never been a part of his family.
He brought nothing valuable to the table. Sure, the older boy was smart, but so were the others. And he was pretty mediocre compared to the rest of the family in combat. The only saving grace were his investigative skills, but Father and Richard had more than enough of them to render Drake useless.
With his arrival, Drake was no longer needed, and Damian set out to prove that. He was the blood son after all!
The first attempt against the boy’s life had been an obvious setback, as it just caused further anger and distrust between himself and the others. But Damian worked hard to prove he was better… and he did!
He was made Robin, validating his superiority over the interloper... and then Drake brought Father back.
Timothy had found evidence of his survival, all by himself. He made everyone look foolish for not believing him, for calling him crazy. He made Damian look a fool.
He was also proven wrong, because Drake wasn’t as useless as he had first thought.
While working alongside Richard, he had come to learn that his line of thinking about family was incorrect. It didn’t work the way Damian had first perceived it to. Because family isn’t based on how beneficial you can be to it or on how important you are. It isn’t based on blood either.
Family consists of the people who support you, the people you can confide in and trust. People who love you unconditionally, regardless of how useful you can be, because family isn’t a competition to see who’s better.
Still though, it was hard not to feel jealous, especially when Father and Richard would sing Timothy’s praises.
The older boy had made himself into a huge name globally soon after Father’s return. Red Robin became one of the most trusted and acclaimed heros in the world. It seemed like every other week the vigilante would be on the news—either by himself or alongside his other Titans—while Damian was stuck as a mere sidekick in Gotham.
It wasn’t a competition, and he didn't have anything to prove. The part of his mind that remembered his time at the League whispered otherwise. But as much as hated to admit it, Drake had earned the praises, and earned Damian’s respect. That didn’t mean he liked the older boy though.
Drake was still an annoyance on his best days, and a complete pest on his worst. But things became better between the two of them—less arguments and almost no physical fights. Less insults thrown around and even some awkward praising of the other. Of course, Damian would always deny any signs of affection for Timothy, especially if the other boy was in the same vicinity.
Would he still be here if I had just been nicer to him? If I had admitted my true feelings?
Even now, Damian’s in denial.
Maybe he is still alive? Todd and Father both came back, so why can’t Timothy?
Because his big brother can’t be dead, not when they never even got the chance to become brothers. Damian was supposed to have more time—is supposed to have more time. He never apologized, never got the other boy’s approval, never got to know Timothy outside of the masks.
And the little he did know had fascinated him.
One time, the older boy had taken a reluctant Damian out for ice cream after patrol. He only accepted the offer for the delicious frozen dessert and totally not for any other reasons.
But Damian found out a lot about Drake during this time—though he hardly knew anything about the boy to begin with—and what he did find had intrigued him.
Drake liked solving cold cases for fun and had even offered to teach him more about the process that goes into investigative work. Damian’s interest was piqued, so he accepted, but only because he’d get to work alongside possibly the World’s Greatest Detective. This was a prestigious learning opportunity, one he would not squander. It had nothing to do with wanting to ‘hangout’ with Drake... that’s what Damian told himself anyways.
So, he became Drake’s apprentice of sorts, and Damian had learned plenty.
Timothy is firm and straight to the point as a teacher, yet he’s also patient and compassionate, never going out of his way to insult or humiliate Damian when he doesn’t understand something at first.
And his detective skills are legendary.
He never understood why Drake had such a high success rate when it came to solving cases. Damian wasn’t arrogant enough to say it was luck, but it couldn’t possibly be that Drake was this ‘prodigy’ everyone believed him to be.
It had to be his experience then because Damian was just as gifted mentally, yet he somehow wasn’t as good as Drake.
It wasn’t just experience though.
Timothy has an uncanny ability to think outside the box, and this is what Damian believes separates his mentor from the rest of their family. He’ll find clues in places the others wouldn’t even think to look in and follow leads that most would simply dismiss.
He is also rational in ways Damian can only ever hope to be, much like Father himself is. Their personalities in general are quite similar, something he is only slightly envious of.
So, maybe he’d never be the detective Drake is, but Damian wasn’t too upset by this. It was a slight blow to his pride, yes, but it also meant that he’d be able to further improve his own skills greatly, especially with Timothy mentoring him.
It also presented the chance to further learn more about the boy, like his interest in photography for example. Apparently, the simpleton does have some artistic talent. Plus, Damian has to admit the photos Drake had taken of Batman and Robin, as a child no less, were more than impressive. And he finds talking art with Timothy to be an… enjoyable experience. Recently, they had even started having conversations about the other’s artwork.
Drake had been curious about some of his drawings and one day asked about them, so Damian decided to indulge him. He insisted to himself that Drake’s interest was nothing more than a minor annoyance, and the praise he’d receive after from the other boy definitely didn’t flatter him.
Now though, Damian can’t help but wonder…
What else did we have in common? Would I have ever found out? His big brother is gone now, so he'll never know the answers to those questions, along with so many others.
Why did Timothy leave them? Leave me? Just when they were finally starting to build a connection!
Tears start gathering in Damian’s eyes, as he thinks about all the times their family has wronged Timothy—the times he wronged him.
Why didn’t they do better? Why were they not good enough?! Were they really that cruel?
‘YES!’ His mind whispers viciously. ‘And you were the cruellest of them all! YOU punched him the last time you saw him, and that will be the LAST time you EVER see him!’
Damian collapses to his knees, harsh sobs ripping through him.
‘It’s fitting though, since you SPAT on his offer of brotherhood the FIRST time you met him, before trying to KILL him—MULTIPLE times!’
He’s a shaking mess, face buried in his hands, unable to overcome all the pain and grief he’s feeling.
Timothy isn’t dead! I won’t accept it!
How can the predecessor that Damian will never live up to just be gone? How could he just give up?
Why did our family fail him? Why did I fail him?
…
…
Please come back, Akhi.