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~though the breezes through the trees, move so pretty you're all i see, as the world keeps spinning round, you hold me right here right now~
bo yuan hummed the soft tune of the subsequent chorus as he swayed throughout the kitchen, moving ingredients from one counter to another.
group practice, not unexpectedly, had ended much later than it was meant to, but he felt far more awake that night than he usually did after six consecutive hours of dancing. so while most of his groupmates had opted for a bowl of instant noodles before passing out, he decided to treat himself to a home-cooked meal for the first time in what felt like forever. it wasn’t anything fancy; it was 11:00 at night after all, and he had been awake since 4:00 that morning. but it felt nice to hit pause on the breakneck-pace at which he had been living for the past few months and take the time to cook his favorite meal in the soft light of a kitchen that was only just starting to feel like home.
his train of thought was cut off when he felt a pair of gangly arms wrap securely around his waist, signaling an end to the solitude he had been enjoying a moment prior. he didn’t mind, though. not when a familiar warmth enveloped his back like a giant blanket that had been made just to fit him. not when a soft nose nuzzled its favorite spot at the junction of his neck and shoulder. not when short black hairs, the same ones he loved to run his fingers through, brushed against his cheekbone. not when, at the edge of his vision, he saw a pair of dark brown eyes peering at him like a puppy curiously watching its owner, their usual mischievous glint nowhere to be found. he smiled.
“i thought you went to bed,” he said, eyes not leaving the pan in front of him as he added in the peppers he had just finished cutting.
he felt the response before he heard it, soft hairs tickling against his cheek as the newcomer shook his head. “not tired,” mumbled a deep voice.
he raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “you sound tired,” he said simply, still not turning his head back.
he couldn’t see it, but he knew the other well enough to know that his pretty lips had twisted into a pout, eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as he searched for the right words. “i’m… sleepy. but i can’t sleep.”
bo yuan felt his smile soften, understanding exactly what the boy meant. post-practice haze, he called it, the feeling of disorientation that would naturally overtake a person after such a long period of deep focus. he had long since grown used to the sensation, six years of experience teaching him to take it in stride. but the boy draped over his back was not so seasoned.
the older had seen his efforts, seen just how much he had had to push himself to endure the late nights and long hours expected of a boy group member. his resilience was honestly impressive, and bo yuan couldn’t help but praise him for it every once in a while. idly, he brought his free hand up to stroke the boy’s hair as the other continued stirring the ingredients in the pan.
“have you eaten yet?” he asked, trying not to let his fondness at the way the other easily leaned into the touch seep into his voice. the head on his shoulder nodded.
“i had a bowl of cereal when we got home,” was the boy’s response, his eyelids fluttering shut in contentment. bo yuan felt himself frown.
breakfast was a rarity in their group, and their jam-packed schedule that day had only afforded them enough time for a grab-and-go lunch. with so little on his stomach, a mere bowl of cereal shouldn’t be enough to sustain a kid who, against all rationality, was still growing. he couldn’t help but worry for the boy. his boy.
now, calling the leach on his back “his” boy was not meant to imply that they were dating. because they were not, thank you very much. the older had enough sense to not attach himself to a kid with that kind of label in this kind of industry. doing so wouldn’t end well for either of them. but it was undeniable that, at some point over the last month and a half, a boy named zhang jiayuan had crawled into his heart and planted his feet, refusing to leave with the same stubbornness that he did just about everything else in life. and bo yuan, against his own better judgement, had let him.
he admonished himself, sometimes, for developing such an… intimate (for lack of a better word) relationship with someone a whole decade younger than himself.
(“not a whole decade,” a petulant voice asserted.
bo yuan pulled a face. “i was born in 1993. you were born in 2003. you are a decade younger than me.”
“nope,” the boy said, turning up his nose in a way that only proved the older man’s point about how childish he was. “my birthday comes before yours.”
he rolled his eyes. “9 years and 11 months, then.” as if that even made a difference.
“wrong again. my birthday is three days earlier in the month than yours is.”
the older took a deep breath, fixing his the brat with a sharp glare. “9 years 10 months and 28 days. which, according to literally anyone, rounds up to 10 years.”
“who says we’re rounding?” the boy asked, still not ready to give up. “we could be truncating.” he jutted out his chin, clearly proud of himself for remembering the elementary math concept well enough to use it to his advantage.
“we’re rounding,” the older started as he poked the boy’s forehead, causing him to tumble backwards onto the couch dramatically. “because i said we’re rounding. and i’m the adult, so what i say goes.”
not two seconds had passed before he heard the anticipated “i am also an adult” from the eighteen year old.
bo yuan crawled from where he had been seated until he was hovering over the boy whose back was now pressed flat against the couch. “you put chocolate syrup on your waffles and climb on jungle gyms at parks and ask for a coloring menu at restaurants and vehemently deny any responsibility whenever anybody brings up the fact that you’re eighteen.” his gaze sharpened. “i am the adult here.” he punctuated the statement by narrowing his eyes, and only then did his companion’s indignant smile turn bashful.)
he smiled as the boy from his memory now moved to rest his chin where his nose had been nuzzling a moment before.
their not-relationship was the absolute last thing he expected to come out of becoming a member of into1, but he wasn’t complaining. as unlikely of a pair as they may be, they complimented each other almost perfectly, like two puzzle pieces that looked absolutely nothing alike but that fit into each other easily when connected. because jiayuan, despite his remarkable maturity for someone his age, and in spite of his insistence that he didn’t like to act cute, was someone who craved attention. and bo yuan, for as much as he complained about it, was always willing to give it to him.
when the food had finally finished cooking, the elder moved the pan to an unoccupied burner and switched off the stove. he walked a few steps, his leech (who stubbornly refused to let go of its human pillow) waddling along behind him. he picked up a bowl he had set out on the counter earlier, took another bowl from the cabinet, and grabbed two sets of utensils out of a drawer before lugging everything (leech included) back to the stove.
he made quick work of dividing the meal, though he was careful to sort all of the hot peppers into his own bowl due to the yingkou boy's lack of spice tolerance. after he finished, he raised a hand to pat the taller’s cheek. once the grip around his waist loosened, he turned around and held a bowl out to his companion. the boy’s mouth dropped into a small “o” as he reached out to take the offering with one hand. he stared at it for a moment, surprised, before lifting his head to look at the older with thankful eyes, biting his lip in a weak attempt to hide a timid smile. the rare display of shyness was nothing short of adorable, and bo yuan kind of wanted to kiss him.
it's not like they had never kissed before. in fact, they had done so multiple times. but it wasn't something that happened on a regular basis, and it certainly wasn't something they did casually. it only ever happened during those rare, affectionate moments that felt like they were taken straight from a movie script. did right now even qualify as such a moment? bo yuan wasn’t sure.
but then he felt jiayuan's hand tug at the hem of his shirt, and he decided to throw caution out of the window. carefully, he brought his fingers up to tangle into the short hairs on the back of the younger's head, a simple gesture that he had taken a liking to as of late. his other hand guided the boy's wrist to set the bowl back down on the counter before loosely intertwining their fingers.
if it was rare for them to kiss, it was even rarer for bo yuan to be the one to initiate it. he thought back to the very beginning of their not-relationship, to the days when his didi had followed him around begging for a kiss (the boy claimed that he wanted to find out for himself whether being experienced really made someone that much better at kissing – it did, as he would soon find out). it had taken three whole weeks of the younger’s pestering for his resolve to crumble, finally allowing himself to indulge the boy’s odd whims if for no other reason than to satisfy his own growing curiosity.
and so, when it finally dawned on the younger what was about to happen, his face lit up, looking nothing short of ecstatic that he was the one being asked this time rather than it being the other way around. bo yuan felt his back hit the counter as the younger crowded into his space, the hand that had been resting lightly on his waist tightening its grip. the boy leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, eyeing him for final confirmation that they were on the same page. the elder smiled at his thoughtfulness and playfully knocked his head against the boy’s before finally reaching up to press their smiling lips together.
kissing jiayuan, he had found, wasn’t anything like he first imagined it would be. he had expected to be met with an overeager kid who had too little experience and too much enthusiasm. and, to a certain extent, that’s what he got. but while his experience was no match for bo yuan’s, it was clear from the get-go that the boy was no beginner. and, perhaps even more importantly, he was a very quick learner. he picked up on the elder’s silent commands and subtle tips with ease, making the experience of kissing him nothing short of delightful.
even more than physically, though, being with the younger had proven to be a unique experience emotionally. while he was still, in many ways, a kid, jiayuan was naturally a very protective person. bo yuan had already seen it in the meticulous way he looked after his friends, but to be on the receiving end of it was something else entirely. whether it was sharing a snack during practice, reminding him to take out his contacts before falling asleep, or simply rubbing soothing circles into his back after a tiring day, the boy always seemed to be there for him, supporting him in ways he didn’t know he needed. after so many years of being the oldest, the parent friend, the one who sacrificed himself on the behalf of others, it felt nice to be taken care of for once. so while he certainly doted on the younger, spoiled him even, he received just as much TLC in return. it was an equal relationship.
he sighed, pulling himself out of his thoughts so that he could fully savor the feeling of soft lips sliding against his own. they stayed like that, exchanging lazy kisses for what could’ve been two minutes or twenty, bo yuan wasn’t really sure. eventually, it was the younger who pulled away first, breathing heavily as he once again rested his forehead against the elder's.
bo yuan watched him with fondness, eyes curving into gentle crescents when he noticed a light blush dusting the boy’s ears. he combed his fingers through the soft hairs one last time before finally letting his arm fall. “let’s go eat, yeah?” he suggested in a quiet voice, to which the other nodded cutely in response. he barely had time to pick up his own bowl before he felt long fingers wrap around his wrist, and he couldn’t help but laugh at the way the long-limbed boy dragged him over to the table impatiently.
the pair sat side-by-side at a dining table big enough to seat their entire 11 member group. it was strange, sitting there without the others, but not necessarily in a bad way. not when he was sitting right next to his favorite boy of all, close enough that they could feel the heat radiating off of each other. not when said boy was inhaling his food as though he hadn’t eaten in days, the sound of utensils scraping against his bowl ringing loudly throughout the otherwise silent room. not when the boy leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips once they had both finished eating, a silent thanks for his generosity. not when the boy, his boy, dropped his head onto the elder’s shoulder as if it belonged there. bo yuan laid his own head on top of the boy’s, and the two sat together, enjoying the comfortable silence of the night.
he knew that they should go to bed soon, that jiayuan would fall asleep on his shoulder if they stayed there much longer. but such moments truly were rare, so he decided to let himself indulge in it just a bit longer. he sighed once again, soaking up the feeling of utter contentment as he filed the night into the imaginary folder where he kept all of his best memories with the boy sitting next to him.
his boy.