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English
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Part 2 of Pride 2021 Ficlets
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Published:
2021-06-16
Words:
790
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1/1
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6
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29
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Can't Move On

Summary:

Mathias Shaw is lost at sea. Flynn Fairwind struggles with his grief.

My contribution to Fairshaw Week 2021 (June 16: Please/Shipwreck) and addition to my pride ficlets of 2021

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Please don’t… I’ll give you anything! Anything else! Just don’t take him away from me!”

Flynn sat straight up, tears falling down his eyes. The damned nightmares wouldn’t let him sleep. That was fine. He didn’t need sleep anyways.He got out of bed, putting his hair a quick ponytail to keep it out of his eyes. The pounding headache and nausea of a hangover echoed throughout him but they felt like distant friends by this point.

The nightmare played in his head over and over again. The naga attacking the ship, the storm that almost consumed him, Matthias falling overboard... and Flynn’s grip being too weak to keep him safe. He knew the nightmare was Mathias’s ghost haunting him. Cursing him for his failure.

Dawn was breaking as Flynn made his way downstairs. He nodded at the innkeeper when  the door opened and a familiar woman was coming in. “There you are Flynn.” Taelia Fordragon sighed, looking him up and down. He could see the disapproval in her eyes. He knew he looked a mess, unshaved for weeks and even he couldn’t remember the last time he properly bathed. “I’ve come to take you home…”

“I don’t have a home right now.” Flynn said as he went to push her aside. “The Bold Arva was damaged beyond repair in that storm.”

“What about the Middenwake? You have another ship.”

“No.”

Taelia sighed. “You have to move on Flynn. What happened to Shaw was not your fault. He wouldn’t want you wasting your life, roaming the shores looking for a body that’s not going to show up…”

Flynn didn’t respond as he loaded up his stuff on his horse. He knew that he would find nothing, but it was all he could think to do. He felt like he lost what felt like everything and this was trying in some way to hope that the Tidemother would return something to him.

He took off before Taelia could stop him or try to talk him out of it and went back to scouring the coast from dawn till dusk.

He didn’t have time to head back to the inn that night so he set up a meager camp where he just stared at the stars and ate jerky by the fire light that slowly burned to dark embers. Soon he fell into a restless slumber, nightmares plaguing him again.

He woke up screaming Mathias’s name, firelight bathing the area around him a warm orange. Wait, that wasn’t right. The fire had been out, he was sure of it. He sat up and stared at what he could only assume was a ghost.

Mathias Shaw was there, tending to the fire. He had one arm in a sling and some scars across his face. He turned to look at Flynn, “I can’t leave you anywhere, can I?”

“You’re not here… you can’t be… I’m in a dream but please… don’t leave me…let me have this...” Flynn sat up to his knees, afraid to get closer. If he went to touch him he would vanish. He couldn’t be here.

Mathias got up and went to him instead, cupping his face gently with the uninjured arm. “I’m here. I’m alive.” He promised him before kissing Flynn. Flynn melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Shaw tight. He was there, he really was there. He was in his arms. He was warm.

He broke down sobbing into Mathias’s chest. “Tides I’ve missed you…I thought you were dead…”

“I thought I was too for a bit…” Shaw just held him, letting the man who had been mourning him just sob and let out all that emotion he must have been bottling up. “I would have looked for you sooner but I had spent most of that time recovering to the point I could look for you.”

“How in the Tidemother’s name did you survive!?” Flynn pulled away to look at him incredulously. He looked a mess, really not the most attractive way to see a lover after months of being gone. But Mathias’s heart swelled seeing him anyways. Flynn had clearly been distraught thinking he was dead, and it hurt him he caused the sailor so much pain.

He kissed him softly again, “It’s a long story, and I owe a lot to the shamans of the Earthen Ring who found me in time. Just know that I am here now, we are together, and nothing will keep us apart again.” He promised, tangling his fingers with Flynn’s.

Overcome with exhaustion and relief, Flynn leaned against the spymaster as he fell into the first good sleep he’d had since the storm. Mathias’s embrace kept the nightmares away and finally everything felt at peace.

Notes:

I've had this idea in my head for a while and finally wrote it out. Though a bit part of me holding back was uncertainty about how to tag the Major Character Death since Shaw didn't actually die in the end... Bah, still confused about how to tag it but went for it anyways. Hope you enjoyed!

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