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For the most part, Hoseok is used to the guys being clingy post-concert as their tours come to a close. He personally prefers to keep to himself so he can reflect on the good moments from the night. But he will let Jungkook to cuddle up next to him. He will wrap his arm around Yoongi if they’re seated together. If he’s feeling particularly vulnerable himself, he’ll seek out any one of the maknae line.
Tonight, as the van pulls away from the stadium and the lights of the Tokyo nightscape wink at them, Hoseok’s elbow is trapped in Jimin’s arms. He’s tried pulling away but Jimin is surprisingly strong in his sleep.
Neon lights filter through the window and play across Jimin’s smooth cheeks. The Blade Runner lights make him look like an android from a different reality. His chest rises and falls gently. Jimin, one of the quietest sleepers amongst them.
And Namjoon, one of their loudest. A snore rips from the backseat. It is quickly aborted.
Hoseok sees Jungkook butting Namjoon’s cheek with his head, waking him up. Temple against the window, Seokjin elbows Namjoon in the side. Namjoon slides lower in his seat so that he’s leaning against Seokjin. Jungkook does the same on Namjoon; the three of them like lazy dominos.
Crowded next to Hoseok, Taehyung jostles Yoongi, who is begrudgingly in his lap. It had been either that or take another car and there’d been something in the energy tonight that had made them loathe to part. Yoongi shifts, resting against Taehyung’s broad chest. Taehyung looks very cozy, his nose in Yoongi’s hair. Yoongi must be comfortable too because he parks his head on Taehyung’s shoulder; eyelids drooping.
Jimin murmurs something in his sleep and turns into Hoseok’s side. Hoseok moves a little so Jimin isn’t crushing his phone. Despite Hoseok’s best efforts, he can feel sleep’s powerful seduction cornering him.
The air is pleasantly warm. The rumbling of the vehicle lulling.
The van turns a corner and the lights wash over Taehyung and Yoongi as their lips move against each other.
Behind them, Jungkook sneezes into Namjoon’s shirt. Namjoon murmurs about how he’s so tired he’s not even grossed out. Seokjin passes him a tissue.
Up front, Sejin tells them they’ve arrived.
As the van door slides open and the winter air rushes in, the sleepy fog in Hoseok’s mind clears a little. He shakes Jimin awake and bundles out of the vehicle. There is a pebble in his shoe, small and smooth enough not to worry him.
The seven of them bow their heads away from the too-bright lights of the hotel lobby and are silent all the way up to their floor. Only when they separate to their own rooms does Hoseok manage a slow, “See you tomorrow,” and after three attempts, manages his key card into the slot.
He takes a long hot shower that wakes him up a little, plods over to the sink to wash his face. The sensation of the pebble is still there which is strange. He checks the inside of his bathroom slippers. Nothing.
Brushing his teeth, he scuffs his big toe on the fancy mat, wondering at the niggling sensation. Is it maybe sand? Does he need to clean his shoes? But the ground outside the hotel hadn’t been gritty. He considers his loose socks. The rocking van. The neon lights. Yoongi and Taehyung.
Hoseok stops brushing.
Yoongi and Taehyung. Their lips… had been attached. To each other.
Yoongi and Taehyung. Had been kissing.
Properly kissing.
Hoseok spits the toothpaste violently.
What.
What the fuck.
*
Hoseok bursts into Yoongi’s hotel room and nearly shrieks the building down at the crime scene he walks into.
The mattress had been thrown up against the wall, the windows are open, letting in winter air that now feels hostile as it throws about the curtains and sheafs of torn hotel stationery.
“Hyung, are you okay?” says Hoseok, rushing towards Yoongi who is hunched over at the foot of the bed, cradling his laptop. “Are you hurt anywhere? Did anything get stolen? What’s the number for the police in this country?” Hoseok fumbles for his phone. “I’ll call Sejin-hyung. He’ll know what to do.”
“Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi says, sounding dead, “I didn’t mean to.”
Hoseok brushes his hand down Yoongi’s skinny arm. “It’s not your fault. You’re the victim here.”
Yoongi brings down his fist with surprising passion. “That’s right, I am! After all, they were right there.”
“Who?” Hoseok jumps to his feet, looking about the room.
“His lips!”
“His…” Hoseok falters, a sinking feeling in his stomach.
“They were so close and it felt good.”
Hoseok claps his hands over his ears and lowers himself to the floor, groaning. “Did anyone actually break in?”
“What are you talking about? Oh, this,” Yoongi says about the state of his room. “Well, actually.”
“You panicked?”
“I kissed Taehyung! Of course I panicked.” Yoongi whisper-shouts.
There. He’d said it. No refuting it now. Yoongi and Taehyung had kissed. There had been no trick of the light, like Hoseok had first assumed. Nor had he been dreaming.
“Do you think maybe Taehyung thought he was dreaming? He didn’t react afterwards,” Yoongi says.
“You didn’t either,” Hoseok points out.
“Because we had to get out of the van.” Yoongi covers his face with his hands. “What do I do? I want to kiss him again.”
“I -” Hoseok closes his mouth. He opens it. Closes it. “What?”
Yoongi looks at him. “What?”
“Don’t tell me… you like Taehyungie?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“What do you mean ‘maybe’?”
“I haven’t had a lot of time to think about this,” Yoongi says.
“I’m not helping you kiss him unless I know you’re serious about him.” Hoseok crumples out of sheer disbelief of the words that had just come out of his mouth.
The seven of them have always been close. They’d always been comfortable touching one another, half for fan-service and half because they love each other. But the idea of dating one another had firmly been the purview of fans who like shipping them together. Sure, Jimin likes acting like a son-in-law with all their parents but that’s because they’re all in on the joke.
“Don’t then. I’m not sure,” says Yoongi.
Surprised by this answer, Hoseok asks, “You’re sure?”
“I just told you I’m not,” Yoongi snaps.
“No, I mean you’re sure you don’t want me to help you get Taehyungie kiss you!” Again, what a sequence of words. Hoseok feels faint. He just wants to sleep.
“Yeah,” says Yoongi after five minutes of not-at-all foreboding silence. “Yeah, let’s not do anything. Maybe it’s nothing. Yeah.”
Really, Hoseok should trust his instincts more because the next morning Yoongi has his shoulders up to his ears and is sneaking looks at Taehyung between sips of coffee. Taehyung is no better; twitching whenever Yoongi so much as breathed and staring at his back when Yoongi gets up to rejoin the buffet line.
Hoseok does not deserve any of this. So when observant Jimin corners him after breakfast, Hoseok doesn’t even wait for him to ask and tells him everything.
*
Jimin’s eyes go saucer-wide. “Are you serious?”
“Why would I lie to you about this?” Hoseok says.
“It’s just - I never thought Taehyung would date someone in the group.”
“Why not?”
Jimin rubs the back of his neck. “Taehyungie loves all of us a lot. I thought that if he chose to date one of us, he’d feel like he’s neglecting the rest of us.”
“That’s so sweet - no wait. Taehyung told you he’s thought about dating one of us before?”
Jimin’s brow creases. “Not really. Just a feeling I got, I guess.”
The feeling of dread returns. “Does Taehyung not know how he feels about hyung either?” Hoseok cannot imagine a worse case. It’d be like watching two people shoot at each other blindfolded while thinking they’re using toy guns. “We only have two concerts left. We can’t have them lose focus now. What do you think? Should we force them to talk it out now or after the tour?”
Jimin grips his chin and thinks for a long time. Then he turns and whines, “Namjoon-hyung!”
*
En route to Osaka, Namjoon gathers them for a game plan. He raises his head to make sure Yoongi is working on his laptop at the front of the cabin and that Taehyung is busy divvying the spoils of the last convenience store run with Jungkook.
“We need more information,” Namjoon says definitively. “If it isn’t serious, talking to them about it now will blow it out of proportion.”
Seokjin nods distractedly, still processing. Hoseok is very grateful for him because while Namjoon had received the news from Jimin with remarkable aplomb, Seokjin had blinked and shaken his head as if trying to shake off the effect of very strong alcohol. “Yoongichi? And Taehyungie? And Yoongichi?” He has been processing ever since.
“How are you planning to get more information?” Jimin asks.
Namjoon pulls out his phone. “I’ve just told Jungkook to get Taehyung to sit with Yoongi when they’re done.”
“I can go pretend I need something from my bag. It’s near where Yoongi’s at so I can hear what they say,” Hoseok offers.
Opposite them, Sejin looks up. “What are you guys up to?”
“Talking out our choreo misses from yesterday,” Namjoon replies smoothly.
Sejin nods and returns to his phone.
“Don’t tell anyone outside this group anything until we know what’s going on,” Namjoon tells them.
Taehyung walks past them then with a small bag of goodies and three sticks of Pocky dangling from his teeth. Jungkook himself is sipping from a Yakult bottle that looks comically small in his hand. Hoseok can see the moment Jungkook is about to suggest Taehyung go check up on Yoongi when Taehyung pads to the front and wordlessly plops himself down beside Yoongi.
Hoseok immediately gets up and makes his way forward. He makes a show of bringing his carry-on down from the baggage space and rummaging through it.
Behind him all is silent and he wonders with dread if Taehyung and Yoongi are so awkward with each other now that they can’t even have friendly conversation. He turns to put his bag back and notices the rhythmic rise and fall of Yoongi’s chest. Taehyung has taken Yoongi’s hand into his lap and is playing with Yoongi’s fingers.
“What does this mean?” Hoseok asks Jimin, their resident Kim Taehyung expert.
Jimin covers his face with his hands, embarrassed on his friend’s behalf. “Taehyungie is firmly in Besotted Land. He did not pass Go. He did not collect 200 dollars. Because he is terrible at board games.”
“What are you talking about? Taehyungie-hyung plays with my hand all the time.” Jungkook is chewing on the straw now that he’s finished his drink.
Namjoon shakes his head. “It’s not the same. Number one, Yoongi-hyung doesn’t have tattoos on his hand. Number two, you didn’t kiss Taehyung last night.”
“I still think it’s not conclusive,” says Jungkook, whose reaction to the News had baffled Hoseok the most. Jungkook has been the least surprised, mentioning how Taehyung is very affectionate and how Yoongi has never denied him anything.
“So what is it? You think Taehyungie would have kissed any of us if we had been sitting with him last night?” Hoseok says.
“No, but Yoongi-hyung rarely gets in a mood when he’ll let Taehyungie-hyung touch him. Maybe he just wanted to take advantage of that.”
“We need to collect more information.” Namjoon’s chin juts out. “Who volunteers to kiss Taehyung?”
“We can’t just kiss him out of the blue. He’ll suspect something,” Seokjin protests.
“If someone tries to kiss Taehyung, we can see if hyung gets jealous,” says Namjoon.
“It can’t be me,” says Hoseok, relieved beyond belief. “Yoongi-hyung will know it’s a trap if it’s me.” Strictly speaking, Yoongi isn’t aware Hoseok had blabbed to the rest of the group.
“Why don’t you do it since you’re the only one who disagrees with my theory?” Jimin says to Jungkook.
“He’s perfect. He doesn’t mind kissing at all,” says Namjoon, no doubt remembering the forehead kiss from his birthday years ago. “No, Jungkookie, you don’t have to do it now.”
“Hyung,” Jungkook says, breezily ambling up the aisle, “do you want to play a game?”
Taehyung turns his head towards Jungkook. “Sure. What is it?”
Jimin huffs under his breath. “Jungkook doesn’t get it. Taehyung is more affectionate with him because he’s the only one younger than him.”
“So you don’t think Taehyung will kiss him?” Hoseok says.
“Watch.”
Jungkook leans in, lips pouting a little so that there’s no mistaking what he’s about to do.
Taehyung turns his face to the side. Jungkook’s lips graze his cheekbone.
Taehyung giggles. “Is someone filming a Bangtan Bomb?”
“Yep.” Jungkook straightens and hurries back to the group huddle. “Ugh, someone wipe my memory. Do it now.”
“What? Why?” Seokjin asks.
“I didn’t realise Yoongi-hyung was awake.” Jungkook does a full-body shudder. “I never needed to see Yoongi-hyung look at anyone that way. Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck.”
“Yoongi-hyung is awake?” Hoseok says.
Namjoon hisses, “We need someone in there now.”
“No. I don’t want to,” Seokjin says but Jimin pushes him out anyway.
“Well?” Namjoon says when Seokjin returns.
Seokjin shakes his head. “They’re just staring ahead and not saying anything. Like two, very embarrassed dolls. It’s kind of hilarious.”
“Are they still holding hands?” Jimin asks.
“No.”
Jimin clicks his tongue.
“What should we do?” Jungkook asks.
Namjoon sighs heavily. “If we leave them like this, they’ll be too distracted. There’s nothing for it. We need to make them confess their feelings before the concert tonight.”
*
The second they arrive in Osaka, they’re whisked away to the stadium for a dry rehearsal. Between running through the set list and adjusting their choreo to the new space, there is little time and energy to do more than push Yoongi and Taehyung in each other’s direction during breaks.
It speaks to how distracted they are that Yoongi and Taehyung don’t realise what they’re doing.
Thankfully they are such consummate professionals that the rehearsal goes smoothly. For a moment Hoseok thinks they don’t have to do anything about this. Taehyung and Yoongi are adults. They can sort this out in their own time.
Then Yoongi bends over to catch his breath, his loose-collared shirt gaping low enough to flash a nipple, and Taehyung nearly breaks his neck.
*
“Well?” Hoseok asks after Namjoon emerges from having taken Taehyung aside. “Should I go get Yoongi-hyung now?”
Looking mystified, Namjoon says, “The strangest thing just happened. Taehyung told me, ‘Don’t worry. I got this.’”
“Got what?” Hoseok wants to know.
Namjoon shrugs.
Across the break room, Taehyung is warming up by doing squats with Jungkook and Seokjin. Hoseok has to admit: Taehyung can be infuriatingly inscrutable when he wants to be.
Sejin calls for them to get ready in the wings. Hoseok lines up behind Yoongi, who is fumbling with his in-ear monitor, nearly dropping it.
“You okay?” Hoseok asks.
Yoongi glances off to the side, making sure no one is listening in. “I can’t stop thinking about it.” He swallows. “I keep wondering if he’ll sit next to me again after the concert. If he’ll kiss me again.”
Hoseok gapes at him. “Hyung.” Now is absolutely not the time. The platform will literally rise at any moment now. Their concert is about to start.
“I’m so fucking excited. It’s like my head is on fire,” Yoongi says.
It feels like something’s about to happen. But then the platform shudders and Hoseok is rising to the stage. He glances at Yoongi, who is staring straight ahead.
*
Three songs later find them all backstage while Jungkook performs his solo.
Despite Hoseok’s initial worry, Yoongi had performed admirably. He’d missed no steps, had not done anything out of the ordinary. Sure, he seems more winded than usual but Yoongi gets tired easily and they are at the tail end of a very long tour.
Even Taehyung is acting normal. He’s not even looking at Yoongi right now even though there’s ample opportunity.
Hoseok is wondering if he’s overthinking this when a stage runner comes to fetch Taehyung for his solo.
On his way out, Taehyung pauses by Yoongi and says, “Watch me.”
Yoongi straightens in his seat by the standing fan, confused. “Watch what?” he asks the group at large. “I’ve seen him do this routine a thousand times.”
Jungkook rushes in, sweating profusely. He snatches a bottle of water from the mini-fridge and chugs half of it. He pulls off his jacket, passing it to the wardrobe manager. “What’s going on with Taehyungie-hyung? He was giving off a weird energy.”
Hoseok exchanges looks with Namjoon. Before they can convene, Seokjin lets out a loud whistle.
Hoseok snaps his gaze to the screen and blanches.
It’s easy to forget because Taehyung can act like such a baby. But there’s a reason why he’s known industry-wide as the bias-wrecker.
When Taehyung goes onstage, he can transform into a completely different animal. He can go from funny to flirty, from sultry to sexual with one blink. Right now, there is no doubt as to which creature he is. The way Taehyung is staring down the camera right now, the tilt of his brow, the curve of his smirk. A tongue darts out. He winks.
By the time the song finishes, Hoseok feels in dire need of a shower.
Jimin and Seokjin are both holding their stomachs laughing while Namjoon rubs his brow like he’s not being paid enough for this. Jungkook chugs more water, too dehydrated to appreciate the drama.
And Yoongi. Yoongi has not moved even to breathe since Taehyung started his solo.
*
By the time the concert comes to a close, they are all feeling for Yoongi. Very few have had to deal with the full force of Taehyung’s sex appeal. Fewer even with the knowledge that Taehyung will likely seal the deal.
Their final song is unchoreographed so that they’d have the freedom to interact with the front-row audience and play off one another to show off their chemistry. Taehyung has decided aggressively on the latter judging by the way he’s got his arm on Yoongi’s shoulder, eyes locked on Yoongi’s face, while he sways his hips and croons, ‘Surely I’m sweet enough to guarantee the cavity.’
Namjoon marches to the front of the stage and grins at the fans. “I don’t think I can watch this much longer.”
Seokjin agrees. “It’s like watching a small animal enter a lion’s den.”
Jungkook finishes the chorus, passes the song along to Yoongi’s rap. Taehyung bites his lip. Yoongi fumbles a line.
Mortified, Yoongi bustles to the other side of the stage. Taehyung follows him, barely a step behind, while Jungkook puts a hand over his mouth to hide his laugh.
Jimin hooks a hand around Hoseok’s elbow. “Doesn’t Yoongi-hyung look a little off to you?”
“I think anyone would be off if Taehyung was on them like that,” Seokjin says.
“Jimin has a point,” Namjoon says. “Yoongi-hyung comes in late sometimes but I’ve never heard him slur his words unless it was intentional.”
Hoseok frowns. Yoongi must be really tired. Or.
It’s like my head is on fire.
Hoseok rushes over to Yoongi and practically drags him away from Taehyung.
Taehyung makes a noise of protest but Hoseok isn’t imagining the way Yoongi slumps against him.
Hoseok keeps him upright until the end of the song, until their final goodbyes to the crowd. Then they’re offstage and Taehyung looks like he wants to talk but Hoseok ignores him and flags down the nearest staff member.
“Do you have a thermometer?”
*
Tours are long. It’s common to fall sick and injured along the way. Common that by the last leg of the tour, they are themselves on their last legs. Hoseok remembers Jungkook being so physically exhausted he had to be put on a drip. Remembers Taehyung losing his voice so that he could only stand on the stage, crying mutely while the rest of the vocal line carry the song. This job is tough on their bodies. Yoongi having a fever isn’t the end of the world.
In fact Yoongi’s temperature is a lot better after spending a night hooked up to an IV. They give him the entire back of the cabin to rest on the flight back to Seoul for their last concert.
“I’ll take his temperature again after we land,” the doctor tells them. She hasn’t yet given Yoongi the all-clear to perform tonight and it makes Hoseok antsy.
It’s not that they can’t put on a good performance without Yoongi. They all know how to cover for a missing member.
But Hoseok also knows what the Seoul concert means to everyone. They love their fans no matter where they come from but it’s only in Seoul that they get to converse with them freely. Where Namjoon gets to take some rest while the rest of them banter and quip and horse around without the fear of alienating their audience.
Yoongi has many things he wants to say to ARMY; sentiments he can only express in the adrenaline high of a live performance. Hoseok would hate for him to miss that opportunity. To have to wait for the next album, the next tour, before he could free his heart like that.
“Can he have some food? He didn’t take breakfast with us,” Jimin says.
The doctor nods.
Jimin retrieves a pack of crackers from Jungkook’s gym bag.
Seokjin is sitting with Yoongi, hands cupped around RJ so that it looks like the alpaca plushie is stroking Yoongi’s arm. Hoseok has no doubt someone is filming this. That it will end up on YouTube as part of those fan compilations titled along the lines of ‘How Seokjin loves Yoongi’ or ‘Proof SUGA is Bangtan’s baby’.
Yoongi shivers a bit, pulls the blanket further up his chin and says, “Namjoon-ah, can I have my phone back now?”
“You promise your headache is gone?” Namjoon replies.
Yoongi lolls his head from side-to-side as proof and holds out his hand.
“Hyung no,” Jimin says to Namjoon. “I saw him writing lyrics before we confiscated it. He’ll just keep working if we let him.”
“I’m bored,” Yoongi complained.
Seokjin throws the RJ plushie down in disbelief. “My company’s not enough?”
“You’ve been talking about the last fish you caught for over 20 minutes.”
“It‘s a good story!” Seokjin looks around for someone to corroborate, forgetting that Yoongi is usually the one who does that.
“Where’s Hoseok? Come on, let me play some games on your phone.”
Hoseok hands his phone over, taking over Seokjin’s spot to make sure Yoongi isn’t cheating by opening the Notes app. Yoongi does open a browser. He pauses when he sees the clothing website Hoseok has been browsing for a new shirt.
There’s a cardigan listed in the upper left of the screen; mustard yellow with a bright blue taffeta carnation stitched over the breast pocket. Bizarre-looking as it is, Hoseok knows any one of them can pull it off. Only one of them would actually be truly delighted by it though.
“Where’s Taehyungie?” Yoongi asks in a soft voice, as if not wishing to be overheard.
“Napping in front with Jungkook,” Hoseok says.
“I must have freaked him out, huh? He pays a little attention to me and it flusters me so much, I get a fever. He must think I’m so lame.”
“He did more than pay a little attention to you.”
Yoongi huffs; a self-deprecating smirk. “It’s fine. I don’t need Taehyungie to want me. I’m not that pathetic.”
Hoseok wants to protest but then Yoongi pulls up the Twitter account of a music blog he likes and the air around him seals up, like a door slammed shut.
Deciding that arguing with a sick person isn’t a good idea, Hoseok settles in for a nap. He wakes when the plane lands; the seat under him shuddering. Hoseok lifts his head from Yoongi’s shoulder - when had it gotten there? - and stretches his arms above his head until hears something pop.
He makes sure to take Yoongi’s bag with him; to smile at the paparazzi crowding the runway as they move from the private plane to the van.
To his confusion, he finds Taehyung and Jungkook sitting separately, even though they’d been the first ones to get in. Jungkook is sitting alone in the middle row while Taehyung occupies the far seat in the back row.
Yoongi climbs in wordlessly, sliding in next to Taehyung. Hoseok shuffles in after him. This time, Yoongi tilts his head onto Hoseok’s shoulder.
“Come on,” Hoseok moans.
Yoongi smirks. “It’s only fair.”
Hoseok stares at Yoongi and Taehyung’s hands on the seat, which are only about an inch apart but never once touch throughout the ride to the stadium.
They do their dry rehearsal without Yoongi, though Jimin periodically disappears and returns with updates on Yoongi’s condition. Throughout it all, Taehyung proceeds as if nothing has happened, listening intently when Hoseok points out where he would have to move if Yoongi has to bow out.
A few hours before they start, Yoongi shuffles onto the stage, saying that the doctor has cleared him with the strict caveat that he rests all of the next day.
“That’s a relief, hyung,” Hoseok says with a wide grin, scooping Yoongi in a hug he is too weak to fight off.
“Enough, enough.” Yoongi moves sluggishly toward the end of the stage where Taehyung and Jungkook are chatting.
“Hyung, you’re joining us?” Jungkook says delightedly and hugs Yoongi as well.
Yoongi pats Jungkook’s back with feigned hesitance. “I need to get used to the stage.”
“I can walk you through it,” Taehyung offers.
Jungkook snorts. “No, you’ll make his fever worse.”
Yoongi ducks his head to hide his blush and shoves Jungkook away. “You’re not funny. Jimin-ah, catch me up on the stage manager’s notes.”
As soon as Yoongi is out of earshot, Taehyung snaps, “Why are you all doing this?”
“Huh?” Hoseok says.
“Don’t play dumb. I know you all like Yoongi-hyung but I’m the one he kissed. Me! So back off, okay?”
It takes an embarrassingly long time for Hoseok to understand what Taehyung is implying and when he does, he wishes he had soju on him right now so he could erase all memory of this.
Seokjin joins them. “What’s going on? Why does Hobi look like he wants to die?”
“No,” Hoseok moans. “Don’t-“
“You too! Stop making moves on Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung demands.
Seokjin nearly faints with how hard he laughs. He crawls towards Taehyung with his hands out, gasping, “I - I promise you. I’m not -”
Taehyung backs away, refusing to be mollified. “I know you sat with him on the plane. You even gave him RJ.”
“I give RJ to whoever needs comfort! He’s a comforting alpaca.”
“Hoseok-hyung was flirting with Yoongi-hyung all the way here,” Taehyung says.
Hoseok protests, “I just lent him my shoulder!” Jungkook and Jimin have done way more to him with nary a blink.
“And before yesterday’s concert, Namjoon-hyung tried to warn me off making moves on Yoongi-hyung. You’re telling me that’s not the act of a jealous man?” Taehyung adds.
“Namjoon-ah, come here!” Seokjin cries, voice high-pitched with laughter. “Please explain your intentions.”
Taehyung’s hands, hanging by his sides, balls into fists. “Stop making fun of me.”
Once apprised of the situation, Namjoon turns to stone. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I guess I understand. If I liked Yoongi-hyung like that, I’d be paranoid too,” Jungkook says. “Hyung is really cute.”
Hoseok thinks about the pale skinny boy he’d met all those years ago with the giant chip on his shoulder and a particular love for inserting expletives in his rap where he can get away with them, and snorts
“Are you saying he isn’t!” Taehyung demands.
Caught off-guard, Hoseok blurts, “He is!”
Taehyung gestures angrily. “See!”
“I have a headache,” Namjoon announces.
Thankfully, Yoongi and Jimin return. Seokjin grabs Yoongi by the shoulders and plants him in front of Taehyung. “Please tell this boy you’re not romantically interested in the rest of us.”
Flummoxed, Yoongi looks for a crew member filming a hidden camera prank. “What kind of joke is this?”
Taehyung turns redder. “Was that night a fluke then? Did you kiss me because I was convenient?”
Hoseok kind of wishes someone is filming because the way Yoongi’s jaw hits the ground is hilarious.
Yoongi opens and closes his mouth several times before he manages, “In what world would I do that to you?”
Jimin mutters, “Is it just me or does it suddenly sound like we’re in a drama?”
Taehyung tugs at his sleeve self-consciously. “You didn’t...you didn’t look for me after that. You paid attention to everyone but me.”
“It’s embarrassing,” Yoongi says.
Taehyung’s face crumples. “You find me embarrassing?”
“What? No. I mean.” Yoongi’s gaze darts here and there. “Must we do this in front of all the guys?”
“Yes,” Taehyung says petulantly.
Yoongi clenches his jaw.
“Guys, can you clear the stage? They want to do one last safety check,” Sejin says, coming up from the audience row.
Yoongi sags in relief. He tries to corral Taehyung backstage with him but it’s as if the fight had gone out of Taehyung. He hangs his head and side steps Yoongi.
Namjoon looks to the heavens for strength before going after them. “Thanks,” he says upon realising Hoseok is in step with him. “You take hyung and I’ll talk to Taehyung?”
Hoseok tries not to take it personally when Yoongi’s face falls upon seeing him. Yoongi goes back to lying down on their sofa in their allocated break room. He has a cold pack on his forehand and his eyes are closed.
“I’m sorry, Hob-ah. I know you’re sent here to talk to me but I really don’t know what I’m doing so I have nothing to tell you.”
Hoseok snorts. “That’s not even close to true.” He sits down next to Yoongi. “Earlier, before Sejin-hyung interrupted, what were you going to say to Taehyung?” Yoongi doesn’t answer. Hoseok prompts him, “Were you going to ask him out?”
Yoongi doesn’t answer.
“Hyung,” Hoseok says.
Yoongi throws the cold pack to the floor. “Is that so disgusting? From where I was standing it sounds like I actually have a chance.”
Hoseok stares at him in disbelief. “That’s not what I’m concerned about! Hyung, yesterday you weren’t even sure if you like Taehyung that way.”
“That was yesterday.”
“I don’t know if it’s because you have a fever, or the tour is making you tired, or even if you’re just horny. You can’t do something like that to Taehyungie without being sure.”
Flabbergasted, Yoongi says, “That’s not -“ He sinks back into the sofa, muttering, “It’s not because I’m horny.”
Someone knocks on the door, which Hoseok has locked on his way in.
“Come back in a few minutes, please,” he says loudly. “You know, Jungkookie told me he’d been convinced he had a crush on Namjoon for the longest time. Then, we didn’t go on tour that one year and he realised that he’d mixed his respect for Namjoon with the adrenaline high of performing. I told him it was lucky he never made a move. Because our bond as a group is too precious to mess up for something that isn’t real. So let me ask you, hyung: what are you doing?”
Yoongi exhales. “You remember when I came to you with my monthly coffee bill?”
“Yes?” Hoseok says, confused.
The year everyone had stayed home had also been the first time they hadn’t been able to charge their coffee consumption to the company since they hadn’t been traveling for work. Yoongi had shown Hoseok his bank statement, aghast at how much he’d actually spent on coffee per month. Hoseok had laughed because he had been nearly as bad.
Yoongi fidgets. “I kept doing it. I need coffee and I’m picky so I don’t think twice about ordering in. Every month I get the bill and think shit, I drank this much coffee?” Did Yoongi think Hoseok is going to judge him for being snooty about coffee? Why? They all have money to spare. “After I kissed Taehyung, it was a little like that. But instead of a monthly statement, it was like looking at years’ of accumulation. Like, shit, I actually like him this much? This much?”
Hoseok doesn’t know what to say. He’d come in here planning on giving Yoongi the same talk he’d given Jungkook all those years ago. But unlike Jungkook, Yoongi sounds frighteningly confident about how he feels.
Hoseok’s hand drifts towards Yoongi’s forehead. Yoongi slaps it away. “It’s not the fever talking, you brat.”
Hoseok smiles, glad Yoongi’s spirits are high enough for him to be snarky. “I still think you should wait until after the concert. If you’re as serious as you claim you are, you shouldn’t rush it and we don’t have enough time right now.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right.” Yoongi sighs.
*
The concert that night has a weird energy. It’s not bad per se but there’s a quality to the charge Hoseok cannot put his finger on. It’s not nervousness. Or anticipation. It feels a little like trying to hold his breath after a hard run. His heart is pounding painfully.
He figures it’s because it’s their last one and that it’s been a while since they’d performed in Seoul. It feels good to banter with the others onstage. His limbs are screaming and his shoulder seizes in a way that demands quick masseuse attention tomorrow. But right now there is nothing but the twilight moment on the stage and the roar of blood in his ears as the fans feed adrenaline straight into his veins through their fervent chants and screams of approval.
All too quickly, they are at the break before their final song; the moment they are each given the opportunity to sum up their thoughts and feelings about the tour.
Hoseok wraps up his message neatly with a note of thanks to the fans for matching his donation to support the local arts programmes in his hometown. “You all are really amazing. Even if you don’t feel it, you are, and I’m so grateful to call you my fans.”
The last member to go for the night, Taehyung steps forward. “You know, something really surprising happened to me on this tour.” Hoseok freezes. There is no way Taehyung would. Would he? “I got to meet plenty of fans who call themselves ‘baby ARMY’. Isn’t that the cutest?”
Beside him, Hoseok can feel Namjoon unclench.
Taehyung continues, “What made me sad though is they think they’re not helping us as much because they only started being our fans recently. On SNS, I reply that that isn’t true but I know they still get discouraged. So to all the baby ARMY, I’d like to think of it this way. It’s like your monthly coffee bill.”
Hoseok blinks. No way.
Taehyung shifts the mic to his other hand. “If you buy coffee every day, you don’t think much of it. But you’ll be surprised by the total on your bill at the end of the month. It’s the same. If every day, you give us even a little support, you’re actually giving us more help, more love, than you think. I promise you: it’s always more than enough.”
Holy shit.
Hoseok stares at Yoongi who is openly gaping at Taehyung; colour high in his cheeks.
Holy shit.
Clapping along with the rest of the guys, Seokjin leans in and says, sotto voce, “Since when does Taehyung drink coffee?”
Hoseok is too distracted to answer because Yoongi is looking at Taehyung like he’s a miracle and Taehyung is drawing closer to Yoongi, his arms opening and -
“Group hug!” Hoseok hauls Seokjin towards Taehyung and Yoongi.
Seokjin yelps but together, they manage to hide the way Taehyung’s long arms have circled around Yoongi’s tiny waist; the way Yoongi still looks shell-shocked as he clutches the back of Taehyung’s shirt. Namjoon, Jimin and Jungkook collide into them, lending them more coverage with their open arms and manic grins.
“Seriously, what is going on?” Namjoon says.
“I’m dating Yoongi-hyung now.” Taehyung leans back a little. “Right, hyung?”
“Whatever,” Yoongi mutters as if he isn’t wearing the most pleased smile.
Hoseok kicks his ankle lightly, sighing. “You guys owe me big time.”
*
As it turns out, it’d been Namjoon who’d told Taehyung to go talk to Yoongi before the concert. But when he’d found the break room locked and heard Hoseok say, “Come back later,” he’d taken that as invitation to press his ear against the door.
“How did we end up with such immature children?” Seokjin asks imperiously while engaged in a slap fight with Jungkook in the back seat of the van.
“I have no idea,” Namjoon says, taking a video of Jimin doodling on Yoongi’s sleeping face as Taehyung vogues in the background.
They’re headed back to the dorms to drop their stuff and pack some clean clothes. He, Seokjin, and Namjoon are departing tomorrow morning, back to their family. Jimin and Taehyung are leaving the day after. Yoongi and Jungkook are staying in the dorms until next week because they’ve booked in time to finish some tracks with ADORA.
It’s become tradition by this point to go home and recharge after a long tour. Parting from one another never gets easier. Hoseok already feels a twinge in his chest just thinking about having to say goodbye tomorrow.
But the time away from each other is what makes the reunion so sweet. Hoseok loves returning to the dorm and seeing the guys waiting for him, beaming like they’re made out of sunshine. He loves waiting to hear the dorm door open, the guys filter in one-by-one; his second family becoming whole again.
Hoseok will never give this up. He thinks they could be eighty and cranky, and still all of them would insist on housing together in some form.
He’s less confident about Taehyung and Yoongi; if their attempt at a romance will even last their two-week break.
He feels bad for thinking so. Neither Yoongi nor Taehyung are the flighty type. But touring creates a bubble. They all live out of each other’s pockets for so long that it’s easy to forget they have connections outside each other that are just as important. Hoseok fears Yoongi and Taehyung are going to realise that pretty rudely and abruptly. He’s afraid of what that’s going to do to their bond.
Hoseok promises to himself that he’ll be a good friend. That he’ll be a listening ear if and when Yoongi or Taehyung comes to him over the break and admits that they’ve made a mistake. He’ll not judge. He’ll not say, I told you so. He’ll be a good enough friend to hope that he'll be proven wrong and that Yoongi and Taehyung are the real deal.
*
One year later.
Hoseok is the last to climb into the van leaving the Tokyo Dome. While he appreciates being able to release music as often as they do, he wishes distantly to be able to visit Japan sometime without the pressure of putting on a concert. He’s read about how much fun it is to be a tourist in Tokyo. He’d like to experience that too, please.
The convenience shops are the only things still open at this hour. Hoseok plays a game by himself; counting how many Lawsons versus FamilyMarts versus 7-Elevens they pass on their way to the hotel.
He can feel sleep dragging him under despite his best interests. Perhaps counting convenience shops isn’t wise. It’s no different from counting sheep, is it?
As his eyes drift shut, he feels Taehyung snuffling into his neck. Then gently, so gently Hoseok almost doesn’t feel it, Taehyung plants a kiss.
Instantly, Hoseok is awake.
He shoves Taehyung off and wipes his neck violently. “Aish, don’t you know he won’t get jealous of me!”
Taehyung falls the other way onto Yoongi, giggling. “Is it true, darling? You’re not jealous?”
“No,” Yoongi says monotonously. “It’s Hobi.”
Taehyung pouts. “Hobi-hyung is a red-blooded male too. He could be - ack!” He’s hit with an RJ plushie from the front where Seokjin is trying to rest.
“You kids are still too energetic,” Seokjin complains.
Jungkook says, “Nah, you’re just too old.”
“Jimin-ah.”
Jimin elbows Jungkook in the side without taking his eyes off Jungkook’s phone.
Taehyung shifts over to sit hip-to-hip with Yoongi and smiles at Hoseok. “Sorry, hyung.”
“Why apologise to him if you don’t mean it?” Yoongi says without any bite. “And stop trying to make me jealous. It’s not going to work.”
“But that time with Seo Joon -“
“I told you I misunderstood. Just from the angle it looked like you guys were…” Yoongi sighs and kisses Taehyung on the cheek. “Hang out with Seo Joon. Don’t hold back on my account.”
Taehyung’s cheeks bunch up in that way when he’s especially pleased. “If you say so, hyung.”
“I do,” says Yoongi.
“Okay.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“Yah!” Seokjin complains, startling Namjoon awake.
Hoseok laughs.
He cannot believe there’d been a time when he’d thought this disgustingly sweet couple wouldn’t last.
They are truly shameless. Taehyung keeps coming up with increasingly florid and effusive nicknames that, instead of repulsing Yoongi, makes him smile. Whenever they’re apart, they’re hyper aware of their phones and are disappointed to discover a text message from someone else. They’ve even been banned from rooming together on Bon Voyage because the crew had picked up on some strange noises in the night.
Truly, Hoseok should have thought twice before interfering a year ago. Had he not confronted Yoongi about the kissing perhaps he and Taehyung would still be stepping awkwardly around one another and the rest of them could make fun of them.
“I’m glad they control themselves onstage at least,” Jimin says. “That hug from Seoul is still doing rounds on SNS.”
“I frequently see it in those ‘Taegi is real’ compilations,” Seokjin says. “Namjoonie watches them when they come up on his feed to see if there’s need for damage control.”
A bunch of them have asked for their dinners to be sent to Hoseok’s room. Seokjin is trying to fit all their food on the small coffee table while Hoseok and Jimin pour out the barley tea.
Jungkook accepts a glass, having confirmed that Hoseok’s mattress for the night has no bedbugs. “They’re still adamant on keeping it secret?”
“Yoongi-hyung told me Bang PD-nim asked them again before we went on tour. He thought that if they wanted to go public, they should do it before our next comeback,” Hoseok answers.
The group is big enough that they can survive this. HYBE is now rich enough that it doesn’t have to rely on how much they’re pulling in.
“So maybe next year?” Seokjin says.
“Wow,” Jungkook adds.
They tuck into their meal. There’s a lot they’re not saying. But ‘wow’ is definitely a good summation. None of them have confirmed relationships before. Not even Namjoon when he had been this close to proposing to his ex. Hoseok wonders what is going through Yoongi and Taehyung’s minds. He wonders why and how they’ve become so serious about each other this quickly.
He wonders about how he’d helped Yoongi create a digital Christmas card for Taehyung by recording Yoongi serenading on his guitar. He wonders at having seen Taehyung giggling to himself in the dorm kitchen because Yoongi had just sent him a reluctant selca. He wonders at the both of them arguing after a frustrating rehearsal only to calm down and make up before dinner because they understand the pressure the other one is going through.
Hoseok wonders how they got so lucky.
Jungkook makes a face. “I ate too much again. I won’t be able to sleep.” He turns to Jimin. “Want to continue that anime?”
“Later. I’ll help Hoseokie-hyung clean up.”
Seokjin gets up. “Since when do you help Hobi clean?”
Jimin makes a face and pushes Seokjin out the door. “You’re just in a bad mood tonight.”
Jungkook waves lazily at Jimin. “Text me later.”
“What is it?”Jimin asks, all too aware of Hoseok’s stare.
“You tell me. You’re the one who’s acting weird.” Seokjin is right. Jimin hates cleaning up.
“Can’t a man do something different without getting interrogated?” Jimin jokes.
“Sure.” Hoseok drags out the word; goes back to shoving their takeaway boxes into a black bin.
If Jimin says nothing is wrong then maybe nothing is -
Jimin straightens. “See? That’s what I expected one year ago. Yet now Yoongi-hyung and Taehyungie are saying maybe they’ll go public and everyone is acting like it’s normal.”
Hoseok lifts his brow. “What are you talking about? We were just discussing it because it’s not normal.”
“Yeah but…” Jimin twists the paper takeaway box in his hands. “I thought maybe there’d be a bigger reaction. Like maybe someone would finally say how dangerous this all is. Because we’re a family. If anything goes wrong with them, the rest of us could…”
Hoseok lowers the bin bag. “Jimin-ah, you know that Yoongi and Taehyung don’t need to hear anything from us because they take this more seriously than we do.”
Who could forget that time Taehyung had nearly broken things off because Yoongi’s mixtape hadn’t performed to expectations? Taehyung had been convinced it had been because Yoongi couldn’t be honest in his music since he had to hide their relationship.
Yoongi had followed that up by asking all of them to let him know whenever they thought he was slacking off musically. Jungkook had looked like he hadn’t understood the question. Seokjin had laughed so hard he cried. Namjoon had said, “I wish you would slack off a bit.”
Jimin had been there for all that. He knows. So.
“What is this really about?” Hoseok asks. “Is there someone in the group you wanted to date as well?”
Jimin freezes.
For a moment, Hoseok is seized with the panic of having to go through this all over again but with two different members of the group. He quickly swallows it down because if Jimin sees his alarm, it’s over. “Whoever it is, I’ll support you.”
“It’s not that, hyung.” Jimin stops short. He looks furtively at Hoseok. He chews on his lip. “I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t.”
Hoseok blinks. How long ago? “Jimin-ah.”
Jimin adds hastily, “Ah, don’t worry. It’s not you.”
But Hoseok gets the feeling that what Jimin means is, it’s not just you. “Jimin-ah.”
Jimin wrings his hands. “Let it go. Please just let it go.”
Resignation does not sound good on him.
Hoseok thinks on it for a long time after Jimin leaves. He doesn’t even head to Jungkook, whose room is in the opposite direction. Who has Jimin thought of dating? Other than him?
A voice that sounds like Namjoon’s says in his head, we need more information.
His phone pings. It’s Yoongi. They still at yours? Tae just got out of the shower so we’re thinking of coming over now. We got snacks.
Well, Hoseok thinks, tapping his phone against his hand. Technically they owe him.