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Marisa beamed a cocky smirk as she sat straight up, chubby hands landing on chubbier hips. “I toldja rainbows were gay!”
Reimu smiled as though laughing and squished her girlfriend’s cheek. “Okay, you got me~” The tendons on her bronze muscled hand stood out as her thumb caressed back and forth up Marisa’s chubby cheek and down her double chin, and Marisa giggled and pressed into her palm like she’d been waiting for this all day.
Sumireko’s eyes sparkled as she sat across from them at the table. “WAIT’LL YOU SEE THE REST! THERE’S A PRIDE FLAG FOR EVERYTHING!!”
Marisa dramatically fell into Reimu’s lap and sighed as the two of them gaily smiled at each other. “Don’t mind us.”
“We’re bonding again,” Reimu added as though finishing her sentence, stroking through her curly blonde hair.
Sumi picked her phone up off the table. “I’ll give you two a sec.”
Reimu rubbed Marisa’s belly and Marisa giggled and blushed like it tickled her heart, then Sumi hid behind their phone and blushed and giggled the same. She’d seen these two flirt since they’d met and it was still too cute to bear.
Sunset turned to dusk outside of Reimu’s house. Lanterns lit, doors open for air. The three huddled around Sumireko’s phone as she swiped and explained.
“…and the reason we have Pride flags is to announce to the world, ‘this is what I am, and I won’t hide it or be ashamed.’”
Reimu pointed to a flag striped with shades of orange and purple. “This one’s really pretty.”
Sumi smiled. “That’s Lesbian Pride!”
Reimu and Marisa leaned over. “Oooooh!” A second later, they high-fived.
Sumi held up both hands. “Same hat!” And the three high-fived together.
Next flag. Blue, pink, and white. “Transgender pride!”
Magic sparkles filled the air around Marisa as she gasped and dryly wheezed. “It’s one of miiiine, it’s one of mine…!” She squealed and swung to and fro on her knees as Reimu watched with a smile.
Sumi flicked straight. “YOU’RE TRANS!?”
Marisa froze. “Uh, y—yeah…?” Reimu clammed up with terror.
Sumi pointed to themself. “SAME HAT!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA” Sumi opened her arms for a hug and Marisa dove in and squeezed and they babbled incoherently past each other.
Reimu held her heart and sighed with relief, catching “I couldn’t tell” and “no you’re gorgeous” in the frenzy, and for reasons she couldn’t understand, she felt a wistful sting.
“Here’s another one of mine!” Next flag, gold-white-purple-black. “This is the Nonbinary flag!”
Reimu’s face scrunched with confusion. “Un-winery?? Why would you un perfect good wine!?” She soon grew frantic. “This sounds like an incident!”
Marisa laughed and loudly enunciated, “NON-BINARY, REIMU. BINARY. A SET OF TWO, A YIN AND YANG, A BINARY.”
Sumireko nodded. “Yeah, it’s for genders that aren’t strictly man/woman.”
Reimu’s bronze cheeks flushed as red as her ribbons. “…oh…”
Marisa screeched as she cackled and flopped into Reimu. “HAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAHAA! ‘UN-WINERY!’ ‘THIS THIS SOUNDS LIKE AN INCIDENT!’”
“SHUT UP!!” She grabbed Marisa’s cheeks and gently rolled their flab around with her thumbs as Marisa continued to giggle. “I HEAR THE WRONG WORDS SOMETIMES, OKAY!?”
“Mood, though.” Sumi returned to their phone. “Anyway…”
As they continued, Reimu listened, entranced. Infinite genders—neutral, new, multiple, fluid, less, more, void, none, and beyond—it all made Reimu dizzy… but it made way too much sense.
She was just a happy ally… right?
The rest of the night was a blur as Reimu pondered. Did that mean someone’s gender could be as personal as their name? She barely slept, and through it all, she felt a longing twinge.
She wished she was Nonbinary…
But she didn’t care about gender.
Did that make her Agender? Demigender?
Wait… why was she having these thoughts!? DID she care about gender!? Why now?
Did she just want to feel special? Included?
Maybe that was it…
She felt so selfish.
Days passed, but the questions kept coming back with a vengeance and looping. Nobody noticed more acutely than Marisa, who tried not to worry, but when Reimu wouldn’t touch even a grain of rice at dinner, that was too far.
“Y’alright, babe?”
Reimu meekly glanced up from her plate, then down again. “It’s nothing.”
Yeah, right.
Marisa conspicuously swiped a vegetable. “Don’t want this to get cold~”
Reimu watched, then sank, and sulked again.
Marisa felt sick. Reimu never let her take food off her plate, even if she was full, and as much as she hated wasting food, she couldn’t let Reimu go hungry. “What’s wrong?”
Reimu opened her mouth, but she stalled and turned away.
Marisa poked the vegetable with her chopsticks.
Staring…
Then she smiled, and her voice gently soothed, “Y’look the way I felt…” Reimu glanced up to listen, “…when I was thinkin’ about gender, back before we met.”
Reimu felt the squeezing tension ease, and smiled at her plate. “I…” meandering shrugs and fidgets abound, “…mmmight be thinking about gender.”
Marisa nodded. Her voice soothed again, “I figured. This started a few days ago.” She smiled with pride and joy that grew each passing second, then slid beside her and tenderly held her. “Love you no matter what.”
Reimu knew she could trust her, but it was still so scary. She finally understood why Marisa once kept her transness a secret.
Scary as this was though, waiting felt worse.
“—I think I might be nonbinary,” and as the words left their mouth, they felt prickles of joy wash over them.
What did that mean??
Marisa smiled until joyful tears began to spill. “I’m so proud of you…” She stuffed her tears with a sniffle. “Gonna try any new pronouns?”
Reimu sniffled, and stuffed their tears as well. “I—thhhink… ‘she/they’ for a bit?”
Marisa grabbed the stolen vegetable and held it to their mouth. “You got it, partner.” Reimu opened their mouth to take it, closing just one eye, and without fail, Marisa turned the chopsticks back. “Aah~n—”
FWTCH!
Reimu’s grip was tight as ever as they snatched her by the wrist, muscles bulging. Marisa beamed like this had gone just as planned, and Reimu glaringly smiled like she knew.
“Just kidding~!” She said, and put it in their mouth.
“Mmmh~” They held their cheek and melted with delight as they chewed…
But as they swallowed, new questions bubbled up.
“You know… what is my gender, anyway?”
Marisa shrugged. “Only you can tell, Reimu.”
Great. Nonbinary could mean anything. Fortunately, they’d already done a lot of thinking. “Maybe I’m a Demiwoman! Part woman, part nothing?”
“Sounds good!”
That seemed fine. She hadn’t cared much about gender, but she still felt some connection to womanhood. Demiwoman it was.
博麗霊夢
Hakurei Reimu
Shrine Demimaiden of Paradise
(she/they)
But… now…
“Demiwoman?” Sanae quizzically asked.
Reimu nodded. “Yeah. It means I’m disconnected from womanhood and mostly have no gender at all.” Something snagged uncomfortably.
Sanae blankly stared. “Oh.”
“Yeah, I’m only kind of a woman.” …that one stung.
Sanae stared… then brightly beamed. “Okay!”
But the longing feeling returned, and now it was stronger. She wanted her whole womanhood back, and “they” … felt awkward.
Oh no…
Reimu hung her head and glumly mumbled, “I mean… we’ll see…”
Head-tilt. “Hm?”
She’d have to find everyone she’d told and take it all back…
No. She couldn’t tell anyone, not even Marisa. She had to ignore it…
But a few days into that, her anguish grew bleaker than ever.
Sumireko solemnly nodded. “Yep. That’s gender dysphoria.”
A tearful sigh, then a face-down moan from the table, “I don’t know what to do…”
Sumi fiddled with their phone. “Well Reimers… detransing is tough and embarrassing, but at least now you know.”
Reimu sobbed. “I don’t wanna tell Marisa…” Tearful shuddered gasps swept in. “She was so happy…”
Sumi cringed. “Massive oof…” They stuffed a dangling black corner of cloth deeper into a bag that they’d brought. “But she wouldn’t want you be dysphoric.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaah… why can’t I be nonbinary and a woman?”
Sumi stopped, eyes jumping wide. “…you can.”
A pause… then Reimu picked their head up. “Just like that?”
“Yeah!” Sumi smiled. “You could be all woman and a fraction something else, a gender called Nonbinary Woman, anything! Stay she/her if you want! Still NB!”
Reimu sat up. Staring. Thinking. Barely audible, she sighed out, “…ohhhhhh…”
Sumi got up and slung the bag over their shoulder. “You good, Reimers?”
She hardened. “I need to think.”
“Pog! Now to go give something to Mors~” Out the door they skipped.
Hours passed. Reimu stared so hard clutching her chin that she didn’t even react as Marisa walked in, made tea, then sat beside her with two cups.
Marisa waited… then she asked, “You arright?”
Reimu didn’t budge. “Thinking about gender again.”
“Oh? Y’comin’ out to me again?” Marisa passed her the tea.
Reimu took it. “Sort of. I think I almost got it right last time, I just had it backwards.” They took a big sip. “Aah. The thing is, womanhood felt ‘whatever’ before, so I thought I didn’t care… until I tried to get rid of it. But ‘nonbinary woman’ still feels right, so what I have isn’t less gender, but more.”
Marisa knowingly squinched. “Gender’s sure complicated.”
Eyeroll, nodding. “No kidding.” Sippppp. “Aah. So! I’m not Slightly Woman and Mostly Nothing, I’m actually All Woman and also part something else vaguely masculine. I would never call myself part man, no way, but I feel some connection to masculinity—am I making any sense?”
“Yeahp! I feel kinda the same, but my masculinity feels like part’a my own brand o’womanhood. Obviously, it’s different for you though. Any pronoun updates?”
Reimu flopped on the table. “I considered going back to she/her but ‘they’ is okay, I just like ‘she’ a lot more than I thought.”
“Is that why you never ask us to use They more when we’re all bad about that?”
“Probably.” This felt okay… but doubt still crept in. What if I’m still wrong…?
“Oh, and… I had Sumi getcha some’n for me.”
Reimu glanced over once, then her eyes popped and she attentively swiped over harder. “Wait—did you…!?”
Marisa stood up tall and proudly smiled. “See if ya like it.”
Thk-
She snapped her fingers and a twinkling trail of magic sparkles spiraled and poofed into a flag that fluttered and settled into Reimu’s arms. Gold-white-purple-black.
Reimu’s eyes watered as they shakily gasped. Chills. They’d once thought these flags were silly, but now, holding one in their arms, she felt it.
Pride.
And something even better.
Reimu melted to the floor, glistening, hugging their flag. “Aaaaaah~”
Marisa gleamed. “How y’feelin’?”
“So comfy I wanna hug my heart.” They teared up, staring at the ceiling. “Is this… gender euphoria…?”
Marisa’s tears overflowed. “Feels good, huh?”
Reimu nodded and whimpered back, “Yeah…”
Reimu sat up and flung her arms open, and Marisa dove in and wept into her shoulder, “I never thought… I’d get to see you find your gender too, Reimu… I love you so much…”
“I love you too, Marisa…”
They shared a tearful happy kiss, cuddled, and dried their eyes together.
Awhile later, Reimu sprang with a thought. “Try using ‘ae’.”
“Ae~ a neopronoun!” Wink.
Reimu squished her chubby cheeks and Marisa giggled back as Reimu pondered. The more ae did, the better it felt. “Yeah… Yeah! It’s like a mix of ‘they’ and ‘her’!” Reimu bounced in aer seat and sparkled. “It’s perfect!!”
Marisa too. “All right!”
This felt amazing.
博麗霊夢
Hakurei Reimu
Perfect Nonbinary Shrine Maiden of Paradise
(ae/aer; ‘she’ works)
Now things seemed to fit. Reimu’d found aer gender and pronouns at last, and that flag still hangs in aer house to this day, filling aer with pride.