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On most days, Zhongli woke up at the leisurely hour of 5 am so that he had time for a quick jog around Liyue before he began his work at the WangSheng funeral parlor. This had been his routine for the past few months and his body stuck to it. He was a creature of habit, after all, what with blessing the city of Liyue with his divine wisdom at the same time every year.
Leave it to the anemo archon to completely destroy Zhongli’s biological clock.
The two had stayed up quite late the previous night…enjoying each other’s company…and when Zhongli awoke the next morning, it was already seven! Not only that, but if it weren’t for that strange flying bug in his room knocking everything over, he would have slept even later! The anemo archon was nowhere to be found, which was probably in his best interest anyway. Venti is definitely going to have to dodge some boulders today.
Zhongli grabbed a large book from his bedside table, and swung it at the strange insect, narrowly missing it. It let out a squeal and flew across the room. Zhongli moved closer to examine it, wondering if this insect would be suitable for his collection.
Upon further inspection, it didn’t appear to be like any bug he had ever seen. It looked like a small black blob with stubby blue legs wrapped in some kind of…cloth?
Zhongli put the book down, now determined to catch the insect to study it further. He inched closer, slowly backing it into a corner, and he noticed that it seemed to be trembling.
That was odd. Was it perhaps laying eggs? Zhongli shuddered at the thought. He examined the creature again, noting that it had strangely intelligent eyes. It began frantically squeaking at him, as though it was scolding him, and that’s when he came to a realization.
Wasn’t Venti originally a wind spirit?
Zhongli decided that nevertheless, he would proceed with caution. “Venti, is that you?”
The spirit nodded frantically, letting out another squeak.
Zhongli reached out to the spirit with shaking hands. “Venti…I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize…” He took the still trembling Venti into his hands and planted a soft kiss on his head. “Do you forgive me?”
Venti nodded.
“Are you able to turn back into your human form?”
Venti started shaking and grunting with effort. After a moment, he shook his head with a sad little squeak.
“Hm…this is strange. How did this happen?”
Venti just stared at him.
“Oh, right. You can’t answer that. Um…do you think someone else did this?”
Venti did what Zhongli assumed was a shrug. He didn’t really have shoulders so it was hard to tell. He gently placed Venti at the foot of the bed. “I’ll get dressed and then we can travel to the adeptal realm. Perhaps one of the adepti knows what to do.”
Zhongli took off his nightshirt, groaning at a stabbing pain in his back as he did so. He knew getting older wouldn’t be easy, but no one told him about the incessant back pain. It was even worse than usual today, probably because of all of the strange positions Venti wanted to try the night before.
Venti started squeaking frantically again.
Zhongli turned around to face him. “Are you alright? What happened?”
Venti continued to squeal, and he flew straight at Zhongli, smacking at his back.
“H-hey, what are you doing?”
Venti continued to smack his round little head into Zhongli’s back. Zhongli finally turned around and examined his back in the mirror. His eyes went wide as he caught sight of the glimmering brown and gold scales that were just starting to poke through the skin. He looked at Venti in awe. “I suppose this is happening to both of us?”
——
Zhongli stood in front of Cloud Retainer, after about an hour of running around trying to track her down. She was gazing off down on Juneyun Karst from one of the highest mountains.
“One has waited for your arrival, Rex Lapis.”
Zhongli caught his breath. “I would have preferred to meet you in your realm, as it would have been easiest to find you there.”
Cloud Retainer chuckled. “One sees that you and Barbatos are returning to your original forms. One assumes that this is a result of the loss of your gnoses.”
Zhongli nodded. “I have come to suspect that, as well. I have come to request your aid, Cloud Retainer.”
The adeptus shook her head. “One does not have the power to find this solution of which you speak. One assumes none of the adepti will.”
Zhongli’s heart sank. He couldn’t think of anyone else who could help them. “Do you know where we may find a solution? Ah!” He winced as he felt another scale break the skin. He couldn’t help but envy Barbatos’ painless overnight transformation.
“One knows of an alchemist who can create solutions to almost any problem. He lives in Mondstat, and goes by the name Albedo. Perhaps he may find the cure to your ailment.”
Zhongli nodded. “Thank you for your assistance, Cloud Retainer. This will not be forgotten.”
Cloud Retainer laughed again. “One wonders why you are so desperate to keep your human form. After all, human bodies are so frail and limited by nature and gravity. No matter. One hopes you find what you seek.” She promptly took off, presumably to return to her realm.
Zhongli looked to Venti, who was floating nearby. “We’ll be returning to Mondstat now. I’ll allow you to show me the way.”
Venti did a little backflip in the air, and nuzzled into Zhongli’s neck with a happy squeak. Zhongli smiled and cupped him into his hands, teleporting to the camp outside of Dragonspine he had heard the alchemist often resided.
——
“Hm, I’m not sure what to do about your situation. You said you were cursed by a witch outside of Liyue?” Albedo thoughtfully put one hand to his mouth, and used the other to flip through the pages of a book.
“Uh…yes.” Zhongli looked away nervously and scratched the back of his neck. His lie was flimsy and he worried that it wouldn’t hold up. He flinched when he felt the scales that were forming there, as well.
“This isn’t a problem that alchemy can solve. You know what alchemy is, right? It is used to create, not to undo curses.”
Zhongli flushed with shame. He vowed that as soon as he acquired the mora, he would buy as many books as he could about alchemy so that this situation could never occur again.
Sucrose chimed in. “Mr. Albedo! Don’t be rude.”
“I’m sorry. I just get a lot of people looking for quick fixes that alchemy can’t solve.” While Albedo’s face didn’t change, he sounded genuinely apologetic. “I think you will need to consult a practitioner of magic for this situation.”
“Oh! Do you know of any? Aaaarg!” Zhongli nearly doubled over at the sharp sudden pain he felt at the base of his spine- his tail was growing in. Zhongli felt a sense of panic he hadn’t experienced in a very long time.
Venti shrieked and flew in panicked circles around Zhongli’s head.
Zhongli forced a smile and laughed dryly. “No worries, Venti! It’s just my old age.” He grabbed Venti from the air and tucked him inside his jacket, eliciting a squeak of protest from Venti. Zhongli secretly hoped there was a way to undo this simply because Venti’s wisp form was starting to get on his nerves.
Sucrose thought for a moment. “Um…maybe you should talk to Lisa. You can usually find her in the library at the Knights of Favonius Headquarters. She’s a very powerful sorceress.”
Zhongli smiled in earnest. Perhaps their wild goose chase will finally come to an end.
——
Zhongli let Venti out of his coat pocket once they reached Mondstat, and Venti immediately started squeaking rapidly, as though he was telling Zhongli off. Zhongli couldn’t help but smile, which made Venti even more upset. Venti started ramming his head into Zhongli’s chest, which did absolutely nothing.
“Venti! Venti, stop! I’m sorry I put you in my coat. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Zhongli grabbed ahold of the wisp, who struggled in his grasp. Once Venti finally tired himself out, Zhongli loosened his grip and let Venti rest in the palm of his hand. He laughed at the absurdity of the situation. “Are you ready to behave?”
Venti didn’t make a sound, he just narrowed his eyes at the other god.
Zhongli took that as a yes. “Good. Can you show me where the Knights of Favonius Headquarters are?”
Venti let out an audible sigh, and nodded weakly. He used his little leg to point to the building.
“Oh it’s just that building over there? Mondstat is so small.”
Zhongli didn’t even realize Venti had a mouth, but apparently he does because Venti bit his hand at that statement.
“Ow!” Zhongli pretended to be hurt in order to appease the wisp. “Sorry.” Zhongli scratched Venti’s chin and Venti leaned into the touch making some kind of…purring sound? Zhongli still doesn’t understand wisp anatomy and he hopes he’ll never need to.
Respectfully holding Venti in his hand this time, Zhongli headed towards the Knights of Favonius Headquarters.
——
Zhongli lingered by the door to the library, he could see the traveler speaking to a woman wearing dark purple clothing and a ridiculously large witch hat, but he didn’t want to assume that just because the woman was wearing a witch hat that she was a sorceress. He didn’t want to stereotype anyone, and even if she was a sorceress, what if she wasn’t Lisa? Who knows how many librarian sorceresses live in Mondstat? Perhaps he would wait to see if the traveler said her name, though it was unlikely to happen, as Lumine was a person of very few words…
Venti looked up at him expectantly, but once the wisp saw that Zhongli was in the middle of a small crisis, he knew he had to take the lead. Venti grabbed Zhongli’s sleeve with his mouth and pulled him forward, coaxing him further into the library. Somehow he managed to drag him all the way downstairs, and that’s when Lisa caught sight of him.
“Hello, there! Do you need help finding anything?” Lisa smiled warmly at Zhongli.
Zhongli froze for a moment, not sure how to respond.
Venti suddenly started squeaking and zooming around, trying to get their attention.
Lumine’s eyes followed the wind spirit. “Venti?” Her eyes widened as they wandered to Zhongli. “Have you always had a tail?”
Zhongli looked behind him, just now noticing that his tail was long enough to be trailing on the ground. “No, it showed up today. Venti’s in the same situation, though he was like this when I woke up.”
Lumine raised her eyebrows. “When you woke up?”
Zhongli blushed, regretting his words. “Um…yeah…I mean…”
Lisa laughed. “That’s none of our business, Lumine. Though, you look a bit old for Venti.” Lisa’s expression grew more serious as she crossed her arms and examined them both. “How did this happen?”
Zhongli cleared his throat, and told them the same lie that he told Albedo and Sucrose earlier. When they were exploring the outskirts of Liyue the previous day, Venti accidentally stepped on a witch’s cabbages, and she cursed them both. They thought nothing of it until the next morning when Venti was a wisp and Zhongli was growing scales.
Lumine rolled her eyes at the ridiculous story, and Lisa didn’t seem convinced either. “It really doesn’t seem like either of you were cursed. I won’t pry into it, but I’m wondering, is this happening because you lost something, or because you gained something?”
Zhongli paused for a moment. “We lost something.”
“Ok. I believe a simple age reversing spell may do the trick. You’ll need to come back every few months for a tune-up, or else you will be in the same situation. The effects aren’t permanent, and know that this kind of magic has a price.”
Zhongli nodded. “Anything to make him stop squeaking like that.”
Lisa laughed. “Sounds like a deal, then. I’m going to need 1000 mora, 3 wind wheel asters, 7 slime concentrates, and one cor lapis.”
Zhongli looked to the traveler. “Traveler, do you happen to have any of that?”
Lumine sighed and dug through her bag for a bit, handing each item to Lisa as she located them. Once all of the ingredients had been acquired, Lisa ushered them up to her desk. She placed the flowers and slime into her tea kettle, pocketed the mora, and placed the cor lapis on her desk as a paperweight. She sighed. “This is going to be the best tea ever.”
Zhongli reached for the kettle, but Lisa slapped his hand away.
“Aren’t we supposed to drink that?” Zhongli asked.
“No. The tea is for me.”
She turned to Venti and Zhongli, waved her hands around, and said a few funny words. Apparently that was enough, because with a flash of purple light, they were both returned to their original form.
Lumine shrieked and covered her eyes. Venti shrieked right back. Zhongli blinked in surprise to see a naked Venti standing in front of him.
“Zhongli! Give me your coat!” Venti hissed.
It took a moment for Zhongli to process the order, all the while Venti was glaring at him like he was doing this on purpose. Once Zhongli’s brain began to work again, he quickly shed his coat and draped it over Venti, helping him button it up.
Lisa burst into laughter, now pointing at Zhongli’s pants. Zhongli blushed with the realization that his tail had ripped a large hole in his pants, and now that his long jacket wasn’t covering it, everything was exposed. He whipped around, using Venti to block anyone from seeing him.
Lumine peeked through her fingers. “Is it safe now?”
Venti giggled. “Yep! As long as Zhongli doesn’t turn around.”
They all burst into laughter at Zhongli’s expense, and Zhongli grunted in displeasure. “Are we done yet?”
Lisa nodded. “Yes we are. Now get out, it’s nap time.”
Venti waved as they shuffled out of the library. “Thank you, Lisa! Thank you, Traveler!”
Once they were out of the room, Venti hugged Zhongli from behind. “Don’t worry, old man. I’ll help you sneak back to the funeral parlor.”
Zhongli grunted again. “How generous of you.”