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Home was a strange concept of heartache for Yuuji.
Orphaned young from his parent’s early death, he’s tossed from relative to relative. He makes himself as small of a burden as he can. Talks when spoken to, follows the rules given strictly, and makes his presence as tiny and ghostly as possible.
He doesn’t complain when completing chores or ask for anything.
Yet, he’s always still pushed along to the next household.
The pattern continues and before he knows it, he’s placed in his grandfather’s home.
Yuuji bites his dry lips and wrings his small hands nervously in his shirt before quickly placing them to his side, reprimanding himself that he has to appear respectful and proper.
His grandfather’s aged and wrinkled hands are placed onto his shoulder. It feels oddly light yet the warmth seeps into Yuuji and lights a comforting small candle inside him. The elder kneels down and lines himself to Yuuji’s level.
His grandfather’s eyes crinkle at the corners and his lips shape into what Yuuji will learn was a rare smile.
“You’re home now.”
Yuuji’s throat closes up, moisture building in his eyes.
“You won’t send me away?” He asks timidly.
His grandfather’s gaze is clear and honest.
“Never.”
The first and last real quiet familial love Yuuji experiences doesn’t last long. Yuuji grows slowly into his bones and height, limbs long and muscles lean. There’s not much food his widowed grandpa can feed his maturing body.
Yuuji refuses to eat all the food by himself.
They compromise and split the food evenly.
Although his grandpa will never admit to placing an extra serving onto Yuuji’s plate when the little one wasn’t looking.
Yuuji’s shy, innocent heart sneaks affection in his grandpa’s.
The colorful and awkwardly drawn picture of Yuuji and himself that Yuuji brings home from school one day finds itself with a magnet on the fridge.
Yuuji stutters but exclaims proudly that their assignment that day was to draw the person they loved the most.
“Ojii-san, Yuuji loves you!”
He gives a toothy smile (one baby tooth missing after Yuuji wiggled it out when it was loose from when he fell flat on his face from running with his shoelaces untied), hands the paper over, and wraps himself around his grandpa’s leg.
“Let’s be together forever.”
The years pass and his grandpa gets older, frailer, and sicklier until he permanently takes residence in the hospital.
As much as his grandpa nags, Yuuji never once left his side when he had the option to.
He stays true and comes daily after school, forgoing clubs and sports altogether. He chatters and recounts his day at school and what he’s been up to.
He only leaves after his grandpa falls into an easy slumber and gently tucks in the blankets before slipping out the door with his school bag.
His last visit is on a Friday afternoon.
It starts all the same, but Yuuji has a boiling gut feeling and knows it’s going to end differently.
The news brought to him by the doctor a week prior heavily slushes his insides with each visit. “It’s not looking good, he’ll pass away any day now,” Yuuji is told.
He eases into his greetings and normal courtesies before talking about how math lectures make him a little sleepy and confused, gym class is his favorite and he hit a new record, and the failed experiment in his chemistry class.
Yuuji is about to start another topic before a hand covers his own.
He fixes his gaze towards his grandpa’s face and the sounds of his nasally and heavy breaths.
“Yuuji,” his grandpa croaks.
A flashback of a young Yuuji anxious about being abandoned again.
Eyes dripping with golden honey and staring with a glimpse of hope.
“I never once regretted taking you in.”
Yuuji chokes, tears sliding down the apples of his cheeks.
He blinks the wetness away from his eyes, holding onto what could possibly be the final words.
“Be happy.”
The vital signs monitor screeches a long ring and his grandpa exhales one last breath.
“Ojii-san,” Yuuji murmurs, touching his forehead to the withered hand in his grasp.
“Say hi to mama and papa for me.”
He barely responds when the staff comes rushing in and he only hears the wreckage of his grief.
It’s hard to call it running away when there’s only emptiness and silence behind him. There's no one waiting for him at home. It’s an ugly reminder of what he lost.
He slips into the forest, familiar with its terrain before he settles next to the stream that he and his grandpa fished in a few summers ago.
Yuuji gazes up at the midnight twinkling night sky. A never-ending stream of stars laid out with no end or beginning in sight.
Closing his eyes, he feels so tiny and small.
A purposeless existence that floats in the living realm.
When he opens his eyes back to the world, a falling star graces itself over him in the stratosphere.
He read in a book once. The pages tell him that falling stars are gifts from above. A moonlit blessing across the plains of twilight that bless the mortals who get lucky enough to see them in a glimpse.
Yuuji knows better.
It’s the destiny of stars to crumble and fall to pieces.
Nonetheless, under the starlit night with only the moon as his witness, Yuuji closes his eyes and makes a wish.
Please.
Please let me love and be loved in return.
Because he’s imprisoned in his own heartache.
The days afterward blend together, where Yuuji is not sure which day it is nor does he care. He continues his routine, gives cheerful yet empty smiles, goes to school, and comes back home with no memory of what he learned.
Happiness is difficult when his sorrow is fresh and raw.
His routine is broken when there is a hard, firm knock that abruptly snaps him out of his daze.
He wonders who it could be and debates on answering the day at the possibility it’s a door salesman. It would never be any of his relatives since they didn’t even show up to the funeral.
His curiosity wins and gets the best of him.
Yuuji carefully opens the door and has to crane his neck up at the muscular figure that towers in front of him.
Slicked back rose-colored hair and pitch black tattoo lines are what catch his gaze first.
What he finds next, he is inexplicably drawn to. Deep scarlet red eyes that are saturated with color in the late afternoon golden hour.
“Yuuji Itadori?” The deep tenor vibrates through him, placing an ache in him he didn’t know was possible..
Yuuji, stupefied and tongue-tied, can only nod dumbly.
A large, warm hand caresses his cheek, so gently and briefly that Yuuji could’ve fooled himself that it never happened.
A furnace makes itself at home on his face as the blush builds up quickly, cheeks reddening like apples.
“I’m here to take you home.”
That’s how Yuuji finds himself in the home of Sukuna Ryoumen.
Yuuji’s eyes grow big at how lavish and expensive everything looks in the other man’s abode. Minimalistic with a flare of traditional oriental elements, it’s a combination that mixes well.
He’s whisked away into what became his room, carrying in his arms the bag of belongings he quickly packed. A few photos, his uniforms, shoes, and basic necessities.
His new room makes his old one look tiny and cramped.
After carefully organizing the few items he has, he leans back against his bed. The mattress feels like a cloud and he finds himself blinking heavier, finally tired from the eventful day he had.
Before he knows it, Yuuji dozes off into a dreamless sleep.
Dinner time is when Yuuji discovers that Sukuna takes him in due to a debt to his dead grandfather. Sukuna, true to his word, fulfills this promise and the will of Wasuke.
He finds Sukuna a little intimidating and abrasive but is still grateful to have somewhere to call home (and not to be alone).
Yuuji shyly sits in his seat, fidgeting every few minutes. Rules ingrained from his younger days that he wasn’t able to break under his grandpa’s care, he waits for Sukuna to take the first bite.
Under his eyelashes, he takes a glimpse at the other man and his body feels warm. He feels sweat glide down his back and his cheeks are probably heated.
Sukuna rests his face on a palm with a bored expression and observes Yuuji from top to bottom.
“Eat, brat. You’re pathetically skinny as it is.”
Yuuij jumps a little in his seat, causing Sukuna to chuckle a little bit. Eyes wide, he stares a little too long at ruby gems and gets mindlessly lost in those twinkling gems.
“I said eat, don’t make me say it twice.”
Not one to want to disappoint, Yuuji scrambles to grab his utensils and shoves the food down his throat like a starving man.
Sukuna continues to watch him in amusement.
Yuuji has his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.
“Cute,” Sukuna thinks.
His life with Sukuna becomes a new normal and before he knows it, Yuuji graduates from high school. His body built bulkier and stronger after regular meals and exercise.
Yuuji normally has breakfast and lunch by himself but dinner time is his favorite because Sukuna never fails to make time for Yuuji then.
Yuuji has since then become lax and comfortable in Sukuna’s presence and happily talks away about his day, every minuscule detail included.
Sukuna simply listens, offering sarcastic remarks and jokes here and there.
Yuuji doesn’t mind at all.
After all, Sukuna wouldn’t be there in the first place if he didn’t care.
Sukuna is surprised when he arrives for dinner one night and Yuuji jumps out with a “surprise!” and the pop of a streamer. The room is decorated with balloons and a cake is placed in front of his seat. Yuuji looks silly wearing a party hat but the pure smile on his face makes it endearing.
“Happy Birthday Sukuna,” Yuuji says with eyes lit up and reflecting the flames of candles on the cake.
“I hope we can spend many more birthdays together.” The heartfelt way he says it makes him feel like a freshly baked cookie with a soft center. Sukuna wants to spoil and dote on him.
Sukuna will never admit it, but this is the first time anyone has ever taken the time to celebrate his birthday and he feels touched.
He doesn’t think to question what Sukuna does for a living. As a matter of fact, the suited men that bustle around the house and odd and sometimes long hours Sukuna is gone for, Yuuji never second guesses about.
But he starts to get an inkling of what his older companion does once he pays closer attention to the hints. With the tattoos, the phone calls, the streaks of blood, and the odd hours, Yuuji is in a stupor why he didn’t think about it before.
He finds he doesn’t mind that Sukuna is the Yakuza boss of the sector they live in.
In fact, Yuuji asks to join the group after finishing his high school education.
Sukuna flicks his forehead and tells him he wouldn’t be an asset as he is and to finish college before making a firm decision.
So Yuuji goes to college.
He has no trouble making friends with his easy-going and bubbly demeanor.
But his heart isn’t in it, he misses Sukuna like an ache that can’t be healed without the other man’s presence.
But as he promises, he studies and passes his lectures. He joins clubs and occasionally attends their meetings and events.
With this cellphone he was gifted, Yuuji video calls Sukuna every night during dinner time in lieu of not being able to have a meal together in person.
He stays on the phone until he can’t keep his head up and nods on the phone. Tucked into bed after Sukuna demands to end the call if Yuuji doesn’t get ready for bed, Yuuji’s mumbles come out slower and slower until he falls asleep.
Sukuna watches the relaxed expression and soft snores coming from Yuuji with a fond look through the screen of his phone before ending the call.
“Good night, Yuuji.”
It’s an epiphany that happens suddenly after Yuuji hangs up first on their call, a rare night that he is able to stay awake through it.
“Oh, I love him.”
Yuuji graduates, Sukuna isn’t able to make it to his ceremony but there are flowers waiting for him when he gets back to his apartment and a card with an elegant but affectionate, “Congratulations, brat.”
Yuuji almost frames it.
Sukuna has nothing more to say when Yuuji pesters him that he wants to join his gang.
It’s a well-known fact that Sukuna has a soft spot for Yuuji.
He never takes him to brutal interrogations, messy gory murders, or gruesome assassinations.
But the worst day in Sukuna’s life happens on a trip back from one of his rounds where he takes Yuuji with him.
Yuuji moves on instinct and there’s a wrenching pain that bolts through him seconds later.
Sukuna can only stare in horror as he’s pushed behind and Yuuji takes a few bullets for him.
The blood gushes out and paints the floor.
But Sukuna is shortly filled with a hot rage that can only be cooled with the death of his enemies. He firmly places pressure on Yuuji’s wound and whips his own pistol and shoots.
Yuuji hears Sukuna angrily yelling at his men and the ringing of shots before the darkness takes him.
He fades in and out of his recovery.
A few blood transfusions are given, a fever takes over him, he bleeds through his bandages and has to get his injury re-sutured, his pain wreaks havoc for days.
Sukuna never once leaves his side.
Yuuji feels like the hazy warmth of Sukuna’s hand and his gentle, tender voice that he can sense are the reason why he makes it through.
He refuses to leave Sukuna all alone by himself.
Once he’s able to stay conscious for longer periods of time, he can barely stand on his two legs without wobbling and can’t make it through a full meal after being on IV fluids.
There’s not one time he’s alone though.
If it’s not Sukuna, it’s Uraume.
His recovery moves along at a snail’s pace and Yuuji gets easily frustrated that it’s not going faster. He doesn’t want to be a burden.
Sukuna pinches his cheeks and tells him to take his time.
Yuuji wakes up in cold sweat and a scream lodged in his throat, feeling the deep dig of the bullet in his side. The phantom pain and vividness of the memory has him heaving for breaths over the side of his bed.
He can’t fall asleep again after that.
The frustrated and anxious tears slip out.
Now that he’s crying, he can’t stop.
When he tones it down to a sniffle, Yuuji makes the decision to get out of bed and quietly shuffles to the room where the only person who can comfort him rests.
The door creaks and Yuuji timidly peeks in.
“Sukuna?”
No response but Yuuji has a feeling Sukuna woke up the moment he stepped in.
Yuuji gains a little more confidence and moves further into the room.
“Sukuna, can I stay with you? I had a nightmare and can’t sleep.”
Yuuji bites his lip and reads the silence as rejection.
The comforter shifts around and Sukuna squints his eyes at him expectantly, arm holding the blanket up for Yuuji to enter.
“Hurry up before I change my mind.”
Yuuji rushes and nearly trips on his feet before timidly crawling in under the covers. Sukuna simply closes his eyes and brings the blanket back down.
Yuuji nervously stares near the edge of the bed, unsure of where the boundaries are. He tries to stop being so stiff and doesn’t succeed until he takes a long inhale and catches the soothing scent of spearmint and tea.
It smells like comfort and home and Sukuna.
His anxiety oozes out of him and he relaxes.
Before he notices it, his eyelids flutter to a close and he’s easily off to wonderland.
Sukuna doesn’t say anything when he wakes up and finds Yuuji curled into him, chest rising slowly and easily the best night of sleep he’s had in a while.
Sukuna allows it once but he finds that Yuuji has made a habit of slipping into his bed in the middle of the night.
Where Yuuji finds comfort in Sukuna, Sukuna finds comfort in Yuuji.
Sometimes he just listens to the younger man’s heartbeat as a reminder that he’s still alive.
Never did he think that Yuuji would worm his way into his heart he’d long forgotten and discarded.
Sukuna can’t imagine a day, his life, without Yuuji.
Life wouldn’t be the same.
He’s fallen in love.
Sukuna is the one who kisses Yuuji first.
It’s only on his forehead but Yuuji counts it.
One morning after they fall asleep in bed together, Sukuna wakes up first and stares down at a youthful face framed by soft pink hair.
He runs a hand through Yuuji’s hair and places his lip tenderly on Yuuji’s forehead before leaving the bed to get ready for the day.
Yuuji, who is still half-asleep, lets out a pleased noise and wriggles into Sukuna’s part of the bed, comforted by the lingering warmth and scent.
That night, Yuuji cuddles Sukuna, head tucked into the other man’s neck.
Yuuji gathers all his confidence and bravery and risks whispering, “I love you.”
It’s only Sukuna who can have this part of him.
Yuuji places his heart, his love, and all his affection on a platter for Sukuna’s taking.
Whatever remains of him is what will remain of him.
His heart beats loudly, the beating drum rushing into his ears.
He feels strong, muscular arms wrap around him.
He closes his eyes when lips delicately touch each eyelid and cheek.
When Yuuji opens them again, he feels like his heart is going to burst from the surge of love that fills him.
Sukuna’s face is tenderly fond and his expression soft with a rare affectionate curve in his smile in the moonlight streaking through. His gaze burns through Yuuji, glowing crimson reflecting what Yuuji can only hope to interpret as lovingly fond.
Sukuna’s lips find their final destination and kiss Yuuji’s.
Yuuji’s heart has gone straight to goo.
“I love you, Yuuji.”
His wish from many nights ago under the streak of falling stars came true.