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11:45PM
“She’s human, Sarek.” I said in the calmest voice I could manage. “I don’t see how raising her Vulcan is in her best interest.”
I sit on the sofa, rubbing the side of my head trying to ignore the pounding in my temples after hours of debating. I watched my husband pace the length of the sofa, his hands clasped behind his back as he stated calmly,
“Due to the trauma the child has endured, it will act as a shield.”
“Humans do not possess the portion of brain that Vulcans do the maintain logic.” I argue.
“I am aware, however certain techniques can be developed and with her young age I have firm belief that-“
“You can not make her into a Vulcan, Sarek. She is human, she does not have the capability to be Vulcan and she never will.”
“I do not wish to make her Vulcan, Amanda.”
“I don’t believe that.” I said bluntly, “We would be doing her a disservice of taking away her humanity. I fear she will resent us when she grows older.”
“Fear is illogical.”
“Bullshit!” I scoff. “Fear is many things, but it is not illogical.”
“The child’s first day at the learning centre is in seven hours and fifteen minutes’ time. As I have stated, I believe that the many skilled maintained during logic training will help her cope with the hardships of growing up on this planet.”
“And you still don’t think that weekly therapy session would be a gentler way to help her cope?”
“You are aware of my thoughts on the matter.”
“You know I’ve utilised the Embassy’s Psychology Centre many times since living on this planet and have benefited greatly from it, why shouldn’t we at least try it with Michael?”
“You have not been educated on Vulcan. You do not know what it is like.”
Now he’s just being difficult. I felt my frustration rise,
“I may not know what it’s like going to school on a different planet surrounded by a different species, but I do remember what it’s like being around children that age.”
“Which is why I wish to teach her the ways of logic.” He argued.
“Are you sure it just not to make it easy for yourself?”
He was silent for a moment, I sensed him to be deliberating. I opened my mouth to speak when he finally spoke,
“The matter is not about me, it is about the child.”
I glared at him with a high amount of doubt. There was a long silence and after thinking of his previous statement about it possibly helping her cope with the impending bullying, I couldn’t help but sigh. I could not deny he had a point. I stood up from the sofa and paced. He had a good point, he had an incredibly good point.
When I was being bullied, would I have wanted to learn the ways of logic to cope? When I was a small six-year old, would I have wanted to learn how to repress? As I paced the length of the sofa, ignoring the gawking eye of my husband, I quickly pushed away the wave of jealousy I felt before my husband could see it.
“No.” I finally said. “I’ll call the child psychologist tomorrow. Michael will attend sessions with them two times a week. I’m not going to take away her humanity.”
With that, without even looking at my husband I walked out of the sitting room and into the bedroom nearby, shutting the door and thus ending the debate.
6:45 AM
“Michael honey! It’s time! We gotta go!”
I waited at the end of the staircase, my hand on my hip as I wait for the six-year-old to come downstairs. Spock and Sarek waited by the door, already prepared for the day ahead. I glanced over at them as they waited with their hands crossed in front of them in complete silence.
I sighed, annoyed by their silence, and turned back to the staircase. I quickly smiled when I saw Michael walking slowly down the stairs.
“Are you ready, darling?” I ask her softly.
With her head down, she walked slowly down the last few steps and looked up at me. I could tell from her red eyes that she had been crying. My heart broke as I held my arms out and reached to hug her, but she pushed me arms away and walked past me grabbing her backpack by Sarek.
I ignored Sarek’s gawking eye and pushed away his nudge at my conscious.
Amanda, perhaps you should reconsid-
“Let go.” I said, forcing a smile. “Your lessons begin in fifteen minutes.” I wrapped my arm around Spock and Michael’s shoulders and opened the main door ushering the children and Sarek out of the house.
There was awkward silence throughout the car ride. I could sense the anxiety, and sadness coming from Michael as she stared out the car window. I moved my hand from my lap and caressed her hand gently,
“It’s a beautiful day isn’t it?” I asked her, but she stayed silent and moved her hand away from mine. I wanted nothing more than to wrap her in my arms.
Amanda, I advise that you stop trying to provide the child physical contact. Due to her multiple attempts of repudiation-
I turned and gave him a sharp look that quickly shut him up, but he was right. Even I couldn’t deny it. I felt my shoulders drop in sadness as I focus ahead staring out the window as we drove from the desserts of Shi’Kahr into the City in pure silence.
When we finally arrived at the Learning Centre, a dismissive Spock walked ahead of us into the building and quickly into the room full of independent domes. I placed my hand gently on Michael’s shoulder as we walked down the corridor stopping in front of the open door.
The children were in their own little groups and the minute they turned to see us standing in the doorway, there was suddenly silence. An awkward silence that caused me to inhale slowly and push the feeling of anxiety away.
I took the first step forward and together we walked into the spacious grey room, weaving through the sheer number number of domes and children who were huddled in their groups, never taking their eyes off us, even as they talked,
“A human.” I heard in English.
“Look at her eyes” I heard another say in Vulcan.
“Full of human emotion.” I heard another say.
Michael was strong, her face was stoic but as I glanced at her eyes, I saw that they glistened with tears. As we continued to walk through the spacious room, I was surprised at just how annoyed I found myself at the children staring. I tightened my grip around her shoulder and motioned to the last clear dome on the right.
“This is your dome.” I said softly with a smile.
I pressed the green button onto the operation pad and opened door to the dome. It was then, when I looked up and noticed all the children turned towards us still huddled in their groups that pushed me to boiling point.
“Into your domes!” I announced sternly “Lessons have begun.”
They hesitated, they all hesitated but after a lingering second, they all parted from their groups and over to their individual operation pads where they opened the doors to their domes. I watched them climb into their dome and made sure they were out of sight before turning to Michael,
“Come.” I said softly. “Let’s go into your dome. I’ll show you what to do.”
I guided her down the four stairs into the dome and closed the door behind us. There was a 360-degree screen that you activated when the student said their name.
“Say your name.” I told her lightly.
She stared blankly ahead. “Michael Burnham.” she whispered, her voice shaking with fear.
“Activation code 2.0.5.4.1.8.” beamed the computer ised voice, “Student name, Burnham Michael.”
The computer turned on, and it would usually show before us a number of questions of varied difficulty, but instead what had popped up were pictures. Pictures of a cruel nature. Before us were gruesome pictures of blood, Klingons and humans. Most of them were drawings but some were computer generated.
I covered her eyes as quickly as I could, but not before I caught her staring a certain computer-generated picture to the left, two figures of African American decent dead on the ground with blood around them.
“Computer, terminate!”
Silent filled the dome for a couple of seconds before I heard her sob softly into my skirt. Her arms wrapped tightly around my hips, her fingers squeezed the fabric of my dress, and she buried her head so deep into me it was as if she was trying to disappear within me.
I fell to my knees in front of her and wrapped her in my arms desperate to hide her. Desperate to comfort her. Desperate to shield her.
“I wan-na g- go h- ho-me.” She cried lightly.
“I know.” I whispered, caressing her soft hair on the back of her head. “I know”
My heart broke as I held her in my arms, I felt my own tears begin to well in my eyes. Children are cruel, children are mean but this, this was on another level. I felt a small poke in my conscious and when I looked up, Sarek was staring at us.
His words from the previous night echoed through my head as the little girl in my arms cried over and over how badly she wanted to go home. As I sighed tightened my grip around her little body and kissed her head gently, I felt the wall I held strong throughout our argument from the previous night fall.
I looked up at Sarek who continued to stare at us flatly.
Okay, I told him through our bond.
¬*The End*¬