Work Text:
Addled faces.
Whispers which are unpleasant.
Loathe being held up on their tongue.
Kiyoomi doesn't get it. He is not an observer, but it all altered when Miya Atsumu, his classmate — caught his attention. He meant, he's the limelight, though all he can hear were the poor utterances instead of good ones. And, his skin toned colored hair was hooked in his mind, he doesn't get it for the damn second time.
“Just, who is Miya Atsumu?”
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He's like reading a deep, lingering book that was written by a first class philosopher. Miya Atsumu is hard to read, Kiyoomi thought.
Why was he reading him in the first place? He doesn't know. Maybe he is intrigued. Or maybe not. This is just the beginning of the story but he feels like it's coming to an end in no time, and be that as it may, he hopes it won't.
Kiyoomi started at the first page, and he noticed one morning, Miya Atsumu was never late to their first class. He doesn't greet, but he nods cleverly.
He stayed silent, quiet — until the end of the class but he thought maybe Atsumu was not in the mood to talk. That was the first time he's going to be an observer for a certain person, and he felt like a creep. He groaned.
He also wondered, what could be the problem on why Atsumu has been receiving so many threats? To leave the school and to go to the doctor if not the first one. That was his another cue to perceive, he kept hearing that from people and it's clearly bullying.
He watches Atsumu from afar. They were at the cafeteria that time but he's with his friends, and Atsumu — was eating alone, while crumpled papers were being thrown at him. Though Atsumu seems to be ignoring all of that, Kiyoomi thinks that it was too much to handle.
He was about to stand up but the bell rang. And at just a blink, it was already crowded, and Atsumu was gone from where he was. He sighed, disappointed in himself.
They returned to class. He sees Atsumu sitting and sketching badly at a paper. He tried to hide a smile when he peeked at his drawing, but he failed, stifling a low chortle which, unfortunately, Atsumu heard.
He was just passing by Atsumu's side and on the spur of the moment, they were staring at each other's eyes. He felt like he was being sucked in, but he knows how to control himself — or maybe not. He broke eye contact first, and Atsumu could only just giggle under his breath, but he didn't hear what it sounded like.
He shrugged it off as he flopped down at his seat, a small smile forming on his lips. He watches him again from the back, and still, he doesn't get why he keeps doing it. Maybe he wants to be friends with Atsumu, or maybe he'll stick with his first reason.
That was the first out of six pages.
The next day, Kiyoomi didn't expect the rainfall at all. He came in late to their first class, his umbrella was not effective on his part because he still gets wet. After he put his umbrella in the rack, his eyes suddenly went to Atsumu, who was staring outside — watching the rain fall harder.
Kiyoomi realized that he's been gawking at him, and how stupid he was for him to do it unconsciously. His friends at the back noticed the action, and that made him mutter a swear word as he passed by Atsumu again.
This is just the beginning, why is he being like this now? He asked himself, head down low. Later on, their professor entered the room and greeted his students, but he felt not greeting back so he shut his mouth until his class ended.
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The day was pretty normal and boring, and it's just like the usual, except there was teasing involved from his friends. He says it was nothing, but he couldn't escape them so he made an excuse to stay at the library. To search for an art book, since he is an art student. It worked though.
He got tired from searching so he patiently waits for the sunshine instead to conquer these dark clouds. He also watches his schoolmates run under the rain, and it disgusted him because they might get sick. At the same time, he sees a familiar skin toned colored hair waving goodbye to a friend. He got a friend after all, Kiyoomi thought.
“But what are you still doing there, Miya?” he asked, certainly to no one. As he continues to observe, he realizes that Atsumu doesn't have an umbrella on his hands.
And an idea popped into his mind.
He quickly got out of the library, grabbed all his stuff and he made sure that he didn't forget the most important material — his umbrella.
When he's near Atsumu, he doesn't know why but his heart starts to pump out loudly. But he also thinks maybe it was from the run he took from the library to where Atsumu is standing.
He quietly approached him, but instead of talking, he held out his umbrella which made Atsumu, puzzled by his weird actions. Was it even weird?
Atsumu seems like he's asking what is this for? Or what am I gonna do with this? Or why are you giving me your umbrella? Kiyoomi sighed and replied to his— questions which he freaking understands even though it was not said out loud.
“Take the umbrella, I'll be fine.” and he smiled, he smiled at him.
What was he thinking of course he wasn't gonna be fine that time? He just gave his umbrella to his classmate. Yes, classmate.
Atsumu gladly took the umbrella from his hand, he was still not talking to him. Atsumu then opened the umbrella and started to walk, but he didn't go further yet. He stopped from a one step stair, and he waited for Kiyoomi to join him.
Kiyoomi blinks not once, but thrice.
“A-are you— you want me to—”
Atsumu rolled his eyes, cutting him off, pulling him in to share the umbrella with. And soon, they began to walk, the rain started to pour harder again.
Kiyoomi was still not processing at that moment, he was not expecting this escapade. He's sharing an umbrella with Atsumu, with Miya Atsumu. He gulped. He wanted to speak, he wanted to talk to him but words can't seem to come out from his pressed thin lips.
There were few cars on the road, and it's kind of odd for Kiyoomi because he felt like they were the only ones who were walking on the sidewalk at that time. Their shoulders were touching, but Atsumu was still not opening his mouth. He felt tense, felt bizarre.
Until Atsumu abruptly stopped from walking. He saw his eyes lit up. And when he looked at where he was looking, he saw an Ice Cream Shop.
Oh.
Oh.
“D-do you want an Ice Cream?”
He stuttered again for fuck's sake. He saw Atsumu nodding his head vigorously and he thought that it was kind of cute. He's not gonna lie and deny that, but of course, he won't say it out loud for Atsumu to hear. This is his chance to be friends with him, this is his chance to get closer to him.
“Come. I'll buy us two.” he said, a grin planted on his lips.
But Atsumu gets on his way. He gestured to stop, and then he pulled out his wallet from his bag, telling him silently that he doesn't need to pay for his Ice Cream. Kiyoomi understood what he meant so he replied, “No, I insist. I'll buy you one.”
Atsumu seemed reluctant about what he said. He pulled out his phone next and typed something on it. When he's done, he showed Kiyoomi what he did — and a question, “why?” was written on the draft message.
Kiyoomi remembered that he is currently reading a deep book and to find out about its secrets inside, he gotta do the thing and that is to, continue to read it even if it'll be at high-risk.
“I want to be friends with you, Miya.”
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Kiyoomi is cock-a-hoop for successfully gaining Atsumu's answer to his statement earlier before they bought the ice creams they wanted. Atsumu said, or typed in his phone, “I thought we were friends already? But sure, I would love that. Thank you so much.” he was beyond glad to know that.
It was still raining but they didn't care enough, they were just eating their cold ice creams. Until Atsumu abruptly stopped again, and this time, Kiyoomi wondered why. He then saw Atsumu waving at someone, who's getting closer to them stomping his feet, and with a flaring nose.
“Tsumu, what did I tell ya before? I said wait and I'll fetch ya! Good thing ya were walking or if ya didn't I— wait, who?”
Atsumu, instead of feeling bad because he didn't follow the instructions given, he was being giddy and thrilled. He was slightly hopping in his position, as he pulled out his phone again and typed. The person who just looks like Atsumu, was still pointing at Kiyoomi. The stares he was receiving, or more likely — glares he was getting were still perspicuous.
Kiyoomi thought that he is Atsumu's twin, but the exact opposite of the skin toned haired guy beside him.
He saw how this guy and Atsumu interacted with each other, and they seemed close but also not. Atsumu showed his phone to his twin, and the latter glared at him again.
“Oh, so yer Kiyoomi huh? Yer hair is curly, is it natur— ow! Tsumu what the heck?”
And then they started bickering.
Kiyoomi thought it was a pretty sight that he snickered. “Yes, my hair is natural.” he then answered with a teeny-weeny smile.
“Ah, nice. And, I'm Osamu by the way. Thanks for giving yer umbrella to my stupid brother, but I'll take him home.”
Osamu seemed very protective of Atsumu. And Kiyoomi noticed how he speaks, it has an accent — it chimed irksome but it wasn't so bad, in fact, he liked it. He wondered if Atsumu also speaks like how his twin does, why was he not letting out a word anyway? He wanted to hear his voice.
Atsumu bowed his head as a bid of goodbye, but before he walked away with Osamu, he drew his phone out from his pocket.
“Thank you. Let's hang out tomorrow!”
Those words written were stuck in his head. He gained a friend who doesn't talk, it was all too briskly for him — but he was very glad. This opaque novel he's studying, the more he gets engrossed in it, the more he can procure the information that he wants to know.
Atsumu is still hard to read. But Kiyoomi's intention is to finish what he started.
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Subsequently, they did hang out together. Kiyoomi informed his friends that he became friends with Miya Atsumu, the guy who was frequently bullied by their schoolmates just because he doesn't talk. Kiyoomi's friends found it weird, they asked what he liked about him? He only rolled his eyes as a response, he doesn't like him.
He doesn't like Miya. He's just intrigued.
He started talking to Atsumu, even before the class, to the cafeteria, until the whole day ended. They went to the ice cream shop after class and he observed how he always uses his phone to talk with him, though it looks like it's difficult to do so he suggested a new way for him.
“Why don't you try writing in your notes?”
Atsumu's eyes widened and he acted like a lightbulb appeared over his head. Kiyoomi choked out a giggle. “What? You haven't thought of doing that, Miya?” He received a small sticky note, and a ‘no’ was written on it.
“You should do it. I mean, for me, it's kind of easy if I were you. And I like your sticky notes by the way.”
He said, as he stared at Atsumu's post-it notes designed with lots of yellow flowers. Atsumu wrote a thank you.
Before the silence interrupted their moment again, Kiyoomi decided to ask the question he's been wanting to ask.
“Miya, why aren't you talking?”
He saw how Atsumu trembled on his seat, his hands were shivering, tears forming and Kiyoomi immediately got worried about his actions. “H-hey, what's wrong? Did I say something bad? I'm sorry I didn't mean it.” He doesn't know what to do, he wanted to calm him down but how?
Nonetheless, he can only think of one thing. He went closer to Atsumu, and he hugged him gently. He rubbed circles, he even patted him on his back, tacitly telling him that everything is okay and that he was sorry. Atsumu calmed down a little, and he wasn't expecting this to happen.
Atsumu broke the hug, wiped his tears as he wrote something on his note.
“I'm sorry. I don't want to hear that question again, please. I gotta go, thank you for the time, Kiyoomi.”
That was the note he gave to Kiyoomi before he left the shop. He felt guilty, he shouldn't have asked that question — but he's sure, that was not the end. He decided that he will say sorry in person the next day.
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Third page out of six and now he's at fourth.
He handed out a sticky note to Atsumu. He received a smiley face and a number? And another note ahead.
“It's my number. Save it.”
Kiyoomi would be lying if he said that he didn't scream internally. Does this mean they're gonna talk even at night? Everyday? Wait, why was he delighted?
However, he saved the number and stared at it for mere seconds before he came back to Earth. Did he really just get Atsumu's number without asking him for it?
On that day, they didn't hang out much because they got busy thinking about what to do. Their professor on both music and art just told them that they have a project to pass on the upcoming month and that is to perform the “What you cherish the most, you show this to your host.” on their own possible way.
Since he's artistic, he came to the conclusion that he'll draw the things he cherishes. And there are so many but he can only choose one. He still hasn't thought of what it could be though.
He didn't see Atsumu so he went directly back home to his apartment. He stares at his phone again, contemplating whether he should message Atsumu and ask how he is and where he is— he shook his head strenuously, why was he thinking like this? Was he afraid because he's not being a good friend? Or was it another reason? He doesn't know.
Howbeit, he sent a ‘hi, this is kiyo.’ certainly taking a risk. He waited for his reply, and as he's waiting, he grabbed all his painting materials and began illustrating. But he can't think of what to draw, that was the problem.
Whilst pondering, he heard his phone ‘ding!’ and he quickly checked if it was from Atsumu.
It was from Atsumu, indeed.
A : hey, did'ja get home safe? ^__^
Kiyoomi stifled a squeak. Which he doesn't usually do, and he knows to himself he's being weird now. He can't even shun the smile on his lips and he thinks there is something wrong with him. He took a deep breath before he replied.
Me : haha hi, yeah I did. What about you?
Surprisingly, as he sent that message, Atsumu sent him one again.
A : Look at my doggo! He reminds me of you, Omi! His name is haku. :>
A : [ Atsumu sent an image ]
The doggo is black, with an unamused look on its face but he seemed to be enjoying Atsumu's hug. But Kiyoomi paid attention to the nickname. Omi? Omi?
He's trying to suppress his high pitched scream that was stuck on his throat. Omi… that was his first time receiving a nickname from someone.
Me : you both are cute. and uh, thank you for the nickname, hahaha.
Right after that, he didn't get a reply back. He thought maybe Atsumu went to sleep early, or maybe he did something which made him busy, and Kiyoomi just doesn't know what to think anymore. He focused on his canvas instead and started drawing.
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Fourth done. Now on the fifth page. He was late for his first class so he entered the second class instead. Atsumu was hiding under his hoodie when he passed by him, and his head was on the table. Kiyoomi thought he's sleeping so he didn't bother him.
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They didn't hang out again. Atsumu wrote a note that he's not gonna join him for lunch, and said that he's going somewhere where he can't know where it will be.
Kiyoomi wanted to know.
So in lieu of eating lunch, he bought cookies as a reserve if gets hungry and then he made his way to find Atsumu. It's lunch time, so he's probably just here in school — he thought.
He didn't find him anywhere, but there's a place that he still hasn't gone to. It's the music room, an unaccustomed room where students would barely even go to. He decided to go there to check if Atsumu was there, and he was right.
He saw him playing the old grand piano.
He watches him intently, from the way his delicate fingers moved to the keys, touching it lightly as if Atsumu's feeling the soul of the instrument. Then, his gaze went to his face, to see what he looked like as he played the masterpiece.
The illumine painted his face gold, butterflies were fluttering around him and all Kiyoomi could see was him.
Atsumu looked beauteous.
Kiyoomi swallowed the lump on his throat. The melody of the piano was ringing to his ears and it sounded very magical, it suits Atsumu's hallmark. This was the first time he heard him play a piece, and it made Kiyoomi feel something — what's the word? Oh, soul-stirring.
He was wholly dragged into Atsumu's little world. And he is sure now, he wants to be in it.
He didn't clap his hands to tell him it was good, but instead, he went back to class to draw something on a paper.
He's not finished reading the book, he only got one question left now that he found out about the other things. Atsumu can play the piano, he has an annoyingly sweet accent — although, he still doesn't know what he sounded like. He has a twin and a dog, he probably gives warm hugs, he smiles a lot, he is smart and sweet just like his favorite ice cream.
Kiyoomi was never an observer, but all the days he has spent with Atsumu in a short span of time, he felt like he knew him for eternity.
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The sixth page was empty. Atsumu didn't go to class for a week, but he did text him and ask if he was okay. He said, “yes, I am okay. I just got sick, don't worry. <3” And they talked through the phone, but only if Atsumu would feel like it.
Kiyoomi realized that all this time, he got a little crush on Atsumu. A week where he can't see Atsumu was too much and he unknowingly, told everyone that it's a damn torture. That's when his friends, even his classmates told him, it's really a legit crush. He had never been like this before.
When Atsumu came back, his classmates were staring at him and they got this wide grin on their faces. He didn't pay attention to them, he just made his way to his seat. But before he placed himself, he waved his hand at Kiyoomi, who's now blushing hard.
Everyone was cooing. Atsumu was confused, and Kiyoomi was telling them to shut their big mouths.
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The month that they're anticipating has come.
It was to show their projects in front of the class.
But prior to, both Kiyoomi and Atsumu spent more time together before this event, and Atsumu was the one who insisted. They went to the ice cream shop because it's their usual place, even roamed around the town after their classes — and Kiyoomi could only feel that his feelings were growing more.
Now that the day has come, he's going to show everyone, to Atsumu, what he painted. And the best part would be, he's going to confess to him as well after that.
He's expecting that this day was his day, but there were things that he can't force to happen. Atsumu suddenly grabbed his hand and left the room without their notice.
“Wha—”
Atsumu stopped him from talking, shushing him as they go to the other room. Which is the room for cleaning materials.
“Wh-what… What are we doing here? Miya, the—”
He was cutted off for the second time. Atsumu was in front of him, his head down low and he's shaking. “Atsumu, what's wrong?” Kiyoomi asked, the tone sounded concerned, and he genuinely was.
Atsumu pulled out his phone, he didn't have his sticky notes with him so he got no choice but to do it the old way. He typed and then he showed Kiyoomi the draft message.
“I'm gonna tell you a secret. Please promise me you won't say it to anyone?”
Kiyoomi's heart banged loudly in his rib cage and he could only hear that along with their breathing. Howbeit, he smiled at him.
“Atsumu, I won't tell anyone. I promise.”
Atsumu smiled back. He saw him take a deep breath, and he thinks he's calming himself down. Kiyoomi was nervous, there were things that consistently messed his mind but he didn't want to assume. Thus, he waited patiently for what Atsumu was going to do, or to say.
Atsumu opened his mouth.
And Kiyoomi's eyes widened. What—
“Hi, Omi.”
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He didn't speak. Seemed like his voice ran out. He was speechless. Atsumu just talked, Atsumu just called him Omi, and Atsumu told him his secret. What was his feeling?
“Omi, I'm—”
“Y-you can talk…”
Atsumu nodded.
“I can talk.”
“But I thought you were—”
Atsumu placed his index finger on his lips, and he sighed.
“I'm gonna explain everything now so please listen carefully.”
It was Kiyoomi's turn to nod his head eagerly. His ears were open but his mouth was closed.
“I was… sexually harassed by my father.”
What.
Kiyoomi, at that moment, felt like his blood boiled when he heard that. Atsumu was sexually harassed, by his own blood. Kiyoomi never thought Atsumu had experienced that disgusting shit. He was about to speak but Atsumu beat him to it.
“He attempted to rape me. Too many times already. But thankfully, nothing happened because my brother Samu saw what he did to me. I was actually glad that nothing bad occured when Samu called the police. We were eleven, we were so young..”
Atsumu halted, he's crying. Kiyoomi felt his heart wretched at the sight, his fist were clenched hard as he was listening to Atsumu's terrible past.
“When he was trying to rape me, he would always, c-close my mouth with his hand so I would stop breathing and so to prevent me, from shouting for help. It was so scary. S-starting from that day, I would just close my mouth and never say anything. Until I grew up, I didn't talk.. to anyone except Samu. D-do ya know how hard it was, Omi? I was in the black hole. It was suffocating, and it was dark in there…”
Atsumu was broken. Every part of him was broken. His voice to speak up, it was destroyed by his own father. He heard his cries get even more loudly so before anyone could hear them, he hugged him tight. He let him cry over his chest and he didn't care whether it would be damp by his wet tears. He doesn't deserve anything of that, he deserved greater things.
“I'm sorry for what happened, Atsumu. But I'm here now, I will protect you.”
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When Atsumu stopped from crying, they went back to their classroom and everyone was already waiting for them. Atsumu's tears were still visible on his eyes, but he didn't care enough. He just want this day to end.
“Where were you both?”
Kiyoomi lied, he said that they went to the cafeteria to fetch some food because Atsumu was hungry. Everyone kept their mouths secure, and suddenly, everything was awfully quiet.
“Oh, then. Can you show your project, Kiyo? And Atsumu, you're next.”
Both nodded their heads. Kiyoomi placed his painting under a white cloth in front, and his classmates watched his presentation. Even Atsumu.
“I present to you — The Sound of the Resplendent Piece.”
He pulled the white cloth, and all he could hear were the gasps from them. They turned to look at Atsumu, but Atsumu was quite shocked as well. It was a painting of Atsumu who's playing the piano, the ground was full of grass and with yellow flowers — and there were butterflies just like how Kiyoomi viewed from what he saw that time. Kiyoomi cleared his throat, he would be lying if he said he's not nervous. But this is for Atsumu, this is for someone he cherished the most.
“Atsumu, you were like an ocean. There is something in you that I couldn't point out before, you were so hard to reach. You were also a closed novel, so difficult to read. But you opened up for me, and I am so happy that you did. And I saw you playing a piece last time, I'm sorry I didn't tell you but you looked like an angel.”
The class, even their professor, let out an ‘aww’ response to what he said. Atsumu's cheeks were red, he tried to hide his face and all of them laughed because of his reaction.
“I would like to hear more from you.”
Atsumu knew what he meant. So he got up from his seat and threw a thumbs up for Kiyoomi. They were about to congratulate both of them but Kiyoomi spoke again.
“I'm not done yet.”
And so, they waited.
“Atsumu, I like you.” He didn't hesitate, he didn't even stutter and he was at relief when he successfully said it to him. Swiftly at once, they cheered for them.
Atsumu beamed, he went towards Kiyoomi and he typed in his phone again. Oh right, he still needs to do it because it was his secret. The message which made Kiyoomi chuckled heartily was,
“I'm going to play, get ya ass off.”
He played a piece for everyone to listen to. And the piano is certainly the thing he cherished the most. Throughout the whole play, he was smiling widely and Kiyoomi thought he looked good in it.
Sixth page was blank, and he knew that he's going to write his own story there with him someday, together.
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Two years have passed, Kiyoomi never stopped reading the book he loves.
Both of them started dating after his confession and everything is going well between them until now. The sixth page wasn't empty anymore, it was now filled with loving and sweet messages from his boyfriend.
He doesn't have an intention to close it, or even abandon the poor thing. He would bring it anywhere he'd go, and so just like today at a high school.
“Mr. Sakusa, what a great story you have. The kids seemed to love it.”
The teacher at the school smiled when she stared at the kids. Kiyoomi did too, and so when he was about to speak, a loud honk was heard.
“Oh, my boyfriend is here. Thank you for letting me share my story. I want everyone to know that even if someone is mute, deaf, blind, or has a disability, never treat them badly. Also, I hope this taught them a lesson that everyone doesn't deserve to be sexually harassed. Thank you again, and have a great day.”
They bowed their heads, and after that he quickly went to Atsumu who's waiting for him.
“Hey, baby. How was yer day?” Atsumu greeted him with a smile, he gave him a kiss first before answering.
“You sound nice, you smell nice, you look nice, everyday you look nice, my day is always better with you, babe.”
And more kisses to his boyfriend's face.
“Oh my gosh shut yer trap! And stop, ya know I'm ticklish!”
Atsumu giggled. Kiyoomi loved everything about him.
Kiyoomi also thought that Atsumu's features are all mesmerizing, but nothing can conquer his character and fortitude to live.
And thus with determination, he's going to build him a home where he could listen to him everyday and forever.
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/fin.