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If someone had ever told him he would be in charge of a little human at any point of his life, he would have laughed at them, humiliated them, broken their bones or something along those lines. But life had its way of grabbing him by the ear -like his mom used to do whenever he misbehaved- and throwing him into situations where he’d come out short of contemplating going to therapy.
It all started by befriending the God of Mischief. The first friendly sparring didn’t go as one would have expected. Because Loki had ended up having an anxiety attack when Bucky grabbed his neck, while trying to get him to yield. That was probably what made Bucky sympathise with the god. PTSD was a bitch and who other than Bucky knew better than how it felt?
They had become friends. Trained and sparred together. While Loki did not join missions, Bucky found his input on the ones he discussed with him quite valuable. Sometimes they’d exchange combat techniques, make comparisons. They were pretty close at being equal in strength, though Loki always had the upper hand, especially after he had regained his powers. Bucky didn’t mind it, though the little shit started using his powers and cheated quite often.
They had a solid friendship and Bucky cherished it. He visited the tower whenever he could. They shared dinner with Loki’s family. Emily was nice and she never let him feel like a stranger. Bucky liked her as well.
It was when he was leaving after he was visiting Bruce one day when he had bumped into her. Her eyes were red, as if she had been crying. The dark circles under her eyes looking quite prominent against her tanned skin. She looked dishevelled, terrified and was in a hurry to get to the elevator.
He had met her before. Jess was her name. She was Emily’s best friend. A nurse, just like Emily. She’d patched him up a few times in the past. She was always nice to him, just like Emily was. Quite talkative, but in a good way. But seeing her in that state made him wonder what had happened. Should he go after her? Wouldn’t that be invasion of her privacy? But what if she was hurt? Maybe she was going to the medical facility to get help? Or maybe she was going to see Emily?
As he turned to follow her, his phone buzzed and he cursed under his nose when he saw a text from Sam. He was needed for a mission. Bucky stared at the elevators for a moment, before he sent a quick reply to Sam that he was on the way. Jess should be in good hands, whatever was wrong with her. He hoped nothing was, but still.
As time passed, Bucky found himself thinking more and more about her. He had bumped into her several times after the day he’d seen her rush to the elevators looking vulnerable. Though when he saw her after that, she was back to her usual, talkative self. As if that day had never happened.
Later on he had found out from Loki that Jess was almost abused by someone she thought was a decent guy. Bucky had no idea why he was fuming about it. It felt like someone had forcefully laid hands on his girl.
His girl.
But Jess wasn’t his. She wouldn’t want anything to do with a 107 year old broken soldier and former assassin. No sane person would want that. But he wished he could call her his girl. A guy can only dream, right?
Bucky was getting tired of having nothing but missions to do. While he enjoyed the adrenaline rush and the feel of weapons in his hands, he did not want that to be the only thing he did. He needed some time off. He felt he was becoming more like the Winter Soldier, sans the mind control, by going from mission to mission. So he requested some time off. The teammates were okay with it, even Steve was happy Bucky had finally gained some common sense and decided to take some time for himself.
He had decided to spend that time helping Loki and Emily with babysitting their kid. While being shocked himself at the offer he had made to his friends, he figured this was a way to do something that didn’t involve weaponry, unless it was to defend the little half-alien, half-human.
The beginning was alright. Emily was with him every time he went there, guiding him and teaching him what to do in certain situations, like changing a diaper or warming up a bottle of milk she had stacked in the fridge. He felt honoured to be trusted with their baby, despite him not having any experience with children at all. His sister’s kids were so long ago, that he couldn’t even remember how he helped around the time. Well, he didn’t really need to, because he only played with them and did not need to babysit. Especially not when they were babies.
One day he had just finished changing Freyr’s diaper and was pulling his tiny pants over his feet. Freyr sneezed and Bucky’s hands stopped moving as he saw the kid turn a bright shade of blue. Eyes wide in shock, Bucky looked left and right, as if someone would be there to say something, to accuse him of turning the baby into a smurf. He figured he should call either Emily or Loki, but both were at work and they trusted him with their son. He couldn’t tell them he had fucked up just a couple of days into it!
“Uhh... FRIDAY, is... is this normal?” He asked cautiously.
“The baby seems to be in a healthy condition, sergeant Barnes.”
Well, that wasn’t helpful. He couldn’t ask Thor for help, because then both Loki and Emily would know and they would probably panic and hate him for it. Bruce was a no go, and so was Pepper. Sam? He’s useless. He’d probably make fun of him instead of being helpful. Wanda didn’t have baby knowledge either and Clint was off the radar again with his family.
“Damn it.” Bucky pushed the hair away from his face as he whispered the curse and then winced. Did babies understand cursing? Did he just teach the kid a bad word? He would probably do it if the kid was a teenager, that’s when they start cursing more regularly anyway. But Freyr was too young for that and if Emily didn’t kill him for teaching their son to curse, Loki would definitely skin him alive.
“Fuck!” He winced again. “Damn it! God! Stop cursing you idiot!” He was pulling at his hair with frustration when a giggle made him snap his head in that direction.
If Jess was scared or even startled by the way he glared at her at that moment, she didn’t show it. His gaze softened immediately, though, seeing it was her at the nursery door.
“He’s too young to understand any of that.” She said, walking in and setting a gift box near the rocking chair. “Came to deliver this and see if you needed any help.” She looked at Freyr, who was sucking on a fist and kicking his feet up trying to rid himself from the pants that hung at his ankles. “And I see that you do.” She smiled, coming to Bucky’s side and putting a hand over his metal bicep.
Whatever materials the Wakandans had embedded in his vibranium arm to make him feel touch, it made him feel the warmth of her palm as if it was a heat source that could melt the biggest of glaciers. Nodding, Bucky stepped aside as Jess took over dressing Freyr.
“Didn’t know he can do that, I assume?” She asked as she pulled the pants over Freyr’s waist.
“No.” Bucky replied, feeling embarrassed by letting something as simple as this rattle his confidence. How was he ever able to become an assassin?
“It happens whenever he sneezes. Loki says he’d be learning to summon it at will when he’s older, like he does. The good thing is, since he’s also human, we can actually touch him without getting a massive frostbite.”
“I... didn’t know that would happen.”
“Oh yeah, should’ve seen Dr. Frank’s hands when he first came in contact with Loki’s skin, while he was a patient. Couldn’t work for a couple of weeks until his hands were healed.”
Bucky didn’t say anything. He couldn’t remember if he had seen Loki’s true form in the past, but it wasn’t important at that moment. Because his brain kind of short circuited when Jess picked up Freyr and held him against her chest. He wanted that.
“Has he eaten?” she asked.
Bucky nodded. “It would be his nap time, but had to change his diaper first.”
“Okay.” Jess smiled and took Freyr to his crib. She lay him down and pulled the blanket over him, which was quickly kicked away as Freyr continued sucking on his fist.
“Okay, no blanket. But you’re still going to nap.” She said with a giggle. She then turned to Bucky, nodding towards the exit. “I’m on a short break. Is it okay if I steal a cup of coffee? Don’t have much time to go grab one from the cafeteria.”
“Uh, sure. I haven’t had coffee yet, either.” Bucky gave her a tight smile, feeling awkward, but also feeling his heart beating too fast for some reason.
As they settled in the living room with their coffee, an awkward silence filled the room. Both kept eyeing each other over the rims of their cups when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Finally, Jess decided to break the silence.
“So, how come you decided to babysit Freyr? Avengers pay not that good?”
Bucky shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. “I just needed a change in routine. One can do so much world saving before you get bored of the repetition.”
“See, that’s why I like what I do. While we also save lives, every case is so different, there’s barely a chance to get bored.”
“I thought you didn’t have patients at the tower.” Bucky wondered.
“I work at the compound as well. You guys seem to have a knack for injuries.” Jess chuckled lightly.
“How come I’ve never seen you there?”
Jess shrugged. “Maybe because of my shifts? Or you don’t get injured that much... thankfully.” She added the last bit in a whisper, but Bucky caught it and smiled.
“Yeah, accelerated healing and all.” He shrugged, grinning.
“Lucky you, I guess.” She grinned back. She then checked her watch and stood up. “I better get going. Break time’s over.” She set her cup on the coffee table. “Thanks for the coffee, by the way.”
“Thanks for helping out earlier.” Bucky replied, standing up as well.
“Was my pleasure.” She smiled and headed to the elevator.
Bucky took the cups to the kitchen and after washing them, he went to check on Freyr. The baby was sleeping, gently sucking on a thumb. Bucky pulled the blanket over Freyr and went back to the living room, deciding to watch some TV until Freyr would wake up.
A couple of weeks later he was babysitting again. Loki and Emily were gone on wedding related business and they were going to be out the whole day. While Freyr was asleep in the afternoon, after having played and been fed, Bucky grabbed himself a snack and was about to sit down when he heard Freyr crying through the speakers. It didn’t sound like the ‘I’m awake, come pick me up’ kind of cry. It was more intense and Bucky put down the snack and darted towards the nursery.
Freyr was screaming his lungs out. Fat tears rolling down his face as he shrieked. Bucky picked him up and held him against his chest. “Shhh, I’m here kid. Uncle Bucky’s here.” He whispered as he rubbed Freyr’s back and paced around the nursery. He kept repeating sweet nothings at Freyr, who simply continued crying and Bucky was slowly growing worried. Was there something wrong? Was his food not good? But it was only bottled breast milk and Emily said it was fresh. Or was it maybe the fruit puree? He leaned his cheek against Freyr’s as he tried to soothe him, but then he froze in his steps as he felt the warmth radiating from the baby’s skin.
He quickly grabbed Freyr’s blanket, wrapped it around him and rushed to the medical facility. He didn’t know who was working there, but he hoped Jess would be. As soon as he reached the reception, he saw Jess walking down the corridor and he ran to meet her.
“Sergeant Barnes? What’s wrong?” She asked as soon as she saw the horrified look on his face.
“Kid’s got fever. He was taking a nap and next thing I know he’s shrieking like this and feels warm.”
Jess ushered him into an examination room and Bucky put Freyr onto the examination table. Freyr was still crying, tears and drool covering his face. Bucky took a tissue out of his pocket and wiped Freyr’s face, gently whispering calming words to him. Not that it worked, but he was almost panicking that Freyr didn’t stop crying.
Jess washed her hands and came over. She smiled at the way Bucky was hovering over Freyr. Though there was panic on his face, she could also see genuine care and worry in there.
She checked Freyr’s temperature first and it was slightly elevated, though nothing alarming. While Bucky kept hovering over Freyr’s head, Jess did a quick examination for tummy ache, but since Freyr was simply crying, she couldn’t determine if that was the case. He’d probably have to be taken to his paediatrician. But then she noticed the amount of drool around Freyr’s chin and how he kept sucking hard on his fist. “Oh!” she said. It was like a lightbulb going off above her head.
“What is it?” Bucky straightened up, feeling even more worried.
“Hang on.” She quickly went to wash her hands again, after having touched fabrics and instruments. She came back and stuck the tip of her finger into Freyr’s mouth.
“Uh... what are you doing?” Bucky asked.
Jess grinned, looking at him. “He’s teething. Wanna feel it?”
“I’m not gonna stick my finger into the kid’s mouth!”
“Well go wash your hands then! It’s pretty cool.” She said and looked around, then looked back at Freyr. “Yeah, buddy, I know. It sucks!” She wiped his tears away and then caressed his cheek. “It’s okay, buddy. I’ve got just the thing for you!” She then turned to Bucky. “Sooo, wanna feel it before I put some cooling ointment on it?”
“I’m not sticking my finger into his mouth!” Bucky shook his head, with eyes as wide as saucers.
Jess chuckled, shaking her head as she pulled her hand away and went to grab the ointment. After applying it, it only took Freyr a few seconds to stop crying.
“Oh my God, he stopped.” Bucky laughed. “He stopped crying!” In his excitement, he pulled Jess into a hug and even lifted her off the floor, making her yelp in surprise. “You’re a miracle worker!” He said as he put her down.
Jess was holding on to his sides when he picked her up. When he brought her down, neither let go of the other, nor did they pull away. It was like time had stopped at that moment as they stared into each other’s eyes. Bucky’s smile slowly subsided, his eyes tracing her lips and it was like in the movies, both slowly leaning towards each other. One could feel the other’s breath on their skin. The hearts beating like crazy against ribcages.
And Freyr decided to use that moment to let out a loud fart.
Jess broke into giggles and had to hide her face onto Bucky’s chest. Bucky grinned, still holding her between his arms and he looked at Freyr, who looked at him innocently while he sucked on his fist.
“You really are your dad’s son.” Bucky told the baby, quite amused by the situation.
He then realized he was still holding Jess, so he looked back at her, with a gentle smile on his face. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He said, finally letting her go, though reluctantly.
Jess shook her head as she let go of him as well. “You don’t need to apologize.” She said, smiling and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She felt the warmth spread up to her ears and she knew she was blushing.
She quickly cleaned up the work surface and Bucky picked Freyr up. “I’ll send out an order for teething toys and some numbing creams. Will let Emily know, though she had probably already known it would be time.”
“Now that you mention it, she had told me that he was teething.” Bucky sighed, shaking his head. “I was so worried of the way he was crying, I didn’t even think of it.”
“That’s more common than you think.” Jess grinned. “So, since Emily already knows, I bet she has a teething toy in the freezer. Whenever he gets fussy or starts crying, give that to him.”
“Thanks, Jess. You’re a life saver.” Bucky smiled.
“Well, duh! It is in my job description.” She laughed. “But you’re welcome, sergeant Barnes. I’m glad I could help.”
“You can call me Bucky.” He smiled.
“I think I will, Bucky.” She returned the smile.
Bucky would have loved to be able to call her his girl.