Work Text:
december 22nd, 2020
The van wasn’t as cramped as it could have been. But it was still… uncomfortable. Not because of the people in it - Eliza was a good friend of hers, and she had seen everyone else drunk and/or shirtless multiple times. It was uncomfortable because of the situation.
Reggie and Eliza were married and expecting, Altair and Andy had been dating for just over a year, but Gretchen and her were… friends. With benefits. Because Gretchen “didn’t do feelings”. Yeah, right . But that's none of her business.
…Except that it is, because Cassie does feelings. And she got them for the least committal fuckboy lesbian in the whole university. Just her luck. And she was going to her parents’ house for the holidays. That’s the coupliest thing possible - hell, Nathan was doing that as well, and he and Sapphire were a stone’s throw away from marriage themselves.
Cassie was not thinking about it. She was playing mindless games on her phone, singing with everyone else when any particularly iconic songs came up, braiding Eliza’s hair, then Reggie’s - Andy was asleep, Altair drove the van and the love of her life bane of her existence called shotgun. She had a damn good music taste, too.
Eliza knew, and her support meant a lot - even if it did manifest in pitying looks and constant cheerleading - and she’d promised to help her confess, or getting Gretchen to confess, whenever help was needed. But god, what a mess.
_____
In under three hours, they reached their collective hometown. They pointed out what had changed, what hadn’t, where they got up to shenanigans - the whole nostalgic situation.
It had been a few years since Cassie last saw the Finch parents - her mothers were more familiar with them, due to being fellow queer parents in a small English town. But even then, as they pulled into the driveway, she immediately recognized the big teddy bear that was Agnar Finch. Gretchen jumped out of the van first, being engulfed by her dad’s hug (absurdly sweet.) and going inside as everyone else left the car.
“Kids, kids, I'll unload your luggage, don’t worry, go say hi to your mothers.” he said to all of them. Then, turning to her: “Hey, I’m Agnar. You’re Cassie, yeah?” he asked, offering a handshake. His smile was barely visible under his beard, but she could feel its warmth.
“Yep. Cassiopeia. Nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine. Go inside, go inside.”
So she did, where she walked into a cozy living room all decked out for Christmas, and followed the sounds of soft conversation into the kitchen, where she smelled cookies and cinnamon before seeing Gretchen hug an olive-skinned, dark-haired woman, who noticed her immediately.
“Cassiopeia, yes?” she asked, with a heavy accent that reminded her of her own mothers.
“That’s me.” she shrugged, awkwardly.
"I’m Ekaterini, come here for a hug. She's very strong, isn't she?" she added as an aside to Gretchen, and the younger girls just laughed.
A shorter blonde woman came down the stairs, exclaiming “Ah, there’s all my kids!” in a different accent, and she knew that this was Anna. She called all her kids for a hug - she wasn’t a short woman, but she looked positively tiny next to her super tall children.
“Where’s the one I don’t know? Ah, you, the strong one!" Anna pointed at Cassie, and pulled her into a hug, exclaiming “Welcome to our home!”. Ekaterini, meanwhile, was greeting Eliza and a very sleepy Andy.
"Put your bags upstairs and come back down here, we're going to have a nice chat!" Anna commanded, and so they did.
Gretchen directed Cassie to her childhood bedroom, where they would stay, and it had the awkwardness unique to childhood bedrooms; kinda like a liminal space, but with time.
"Uh, I hope you don't mind sharing a single bed." Gretchen commented, jokingly.
"Oh no, I think that's too little space, actually." Cass answered sarcastically. "What if we touch in our sleep?"
"Unthinkable. Borderline sinful , I'd say. How was the first impression?"
"They're just like what you said they'd be." she shrugged. "Definitely understand why you lot are the way you are."
"Let's go, then, before Mom drags us downstairs by our hair." she joked, and Cassie laughed before following her out.
_____
"-And then, it was like sixteen seconds before the end of the game, the guy tried to fucking push Reggie down, and I have no idea where he got the balance to try to shoot-"
"I was already going to shoot, he just got me off balance a bit-"
"Yeah, yeah. And then he slammed a three-pointer and the game just ended there, because they missed a shot right after."
Anna loudly laughed at the tales of her children's basketball victory. Reggie went right into another one, but Ekaterini laid her hand on Gretchen’s hair before she could say anything.
"Gretitsa, darling." she muttered, touching her curls gently. "Have you not been taking care of your hair?"
"Uhh… a little bit?" she answered, sheepishly. "Cass reminds me to hydrate, but I haven't done a deep condition in a while."
"Let's do it tonight, yeah? Your curls are suffering."
"I've told her that," Cass intervened. "but she keeps saying she has no time."
Ekaterini glared at Gretchen.
"I really don't! Between games, and essays…"
"...and parties…"
"Well, yeah. I'm the head of the Pride now, I have to keep up!"
"Cassie, dear, you keep pestering her about it. She has such beautiful hair, and if she insists on keeping it long she will have to take care of it."
"Mama…"
"I'm right, aren't I? I've had hair like yours for over twice as long as you."
“Don’t worry, I’ll bully her into moisturizing her hair. Even if I have to do it myself.” Cassie teased.
“How about that, huh?” Anna directed a question at Gretchen. "You've taken over now? Was it a coup?"
Gretchen grinned. "Well, Reginald is actually stepping down ‘cause he moved out."
Reggie looked a bit sheepish. "Uh, yeah, Dad helped me with the legal stuff with the house and all that. We thought it would be better if we had our own place, because, uh…" He looked at Eliza.
The young adults all held their breaths.
Eliza smiled. "I'm pregnant."
There was a moment of silence. Then the living room erupted with celebration from the future grandparents. Anna cheered and hugged her, Ekaterini hugged Reggie, Agnar teared up, the whole thing was a mess. The happy couple was hugged by all three of them at once.
After all hugs were done and all questions about the goings-on of the pregnancy were asked, they sat down again. There was much to get caught up on, and so they talked until the sun went down and people started getting peckish.
Ekaterini ordered the family to let Gretchen shower first to clean her hair, and she took Cassie and Eliza to the kitchen with her. Agnar called Reggie to the front porch, and Anna took Andy and Altair into the backyard.
“Now, you two are going to help me make lemon garlic sauce chicken. Eliza, dear, you can get started peeling this garlic. Cassie, you’ll have to open the tall cabinets for me, my back isn’t what it used to be.”
The two young women nodded and got to work. They made small talk - how is university going, how their parents are doing, their siblings, the whole thing. Then, they touched on the topic of their relationships.
Eliza, bless her heart, took charge of the conversation, talking about their marriage, how they're moving, how helpful Reggie has been with her pregnancy. But apparently that wasn't enough for Ekaterini.
"And you, Cassie? How is Gretchen and yours… ah, relationship?"
She chuckled. "Well, 'relationship-question-mark' is accurate. She doesn't really do feelings, apparently."
Ekaterini sighed. "Ah, yes. I think Gretchen took after my Anna a lot, you see, except that she acts like she's allergic to any sort of commitment. I'm surprised she took charge of the Pride, even. Is that hurting you, Cassie?"
She'd never been asked that question so directly, and she wavered. "Uh… yeah. I tried to be patient, let her take her time, but… even my patience runs out, you know?"
"And Gretchen so clearly likes you too." Eliza intervened. "She's just too stubborn to see it! She's sabotaging herself, if you ask me."
Cassie chuckled. “Heh, thanks…”
“Do talk to her about it. You’re a lovely girl, and you deserve to be treated fairly.”
“I’ll, uh, I’ll try.”
“Here-” Ekaterini opened a drawer for a dessert spoon and scooped up a little bit of the sauce into it. “She’s done with her shower, go fetch her and ask her to taste this.”
“Alright.”
Cass went upstairs and knocked gently at the door.
"Come in."
"Hey, uh, she told me to bring you this. Open up." she teased.
Gretchen did. She let out a hum of delight. "Oh, the lemon garlic sauce chicken rules . Is she teaching you guys to make it?"
"Well, sort of. She has me grab the stuff in the tall cabinets for her, and Eliza is doing all the work that can be done sitting down."
"Ugh, the pampering started early. Is it ready?"
"No… but she asked me to bring you down anyway."
"Alright, then." She grabbed her phone and followed her out.
Gretchen and Cass set the table, before being put to work - chopping this, stirring that, whipping this - and the four of them even managed to get a dessert done. Somewhere along the line every other person in the house came into the kitchen to try and snatch something before the meal was done, but they were promptly kicked out.
"This kitchen is too little to have someone useless in here doing nothing. Shoo." Gretchen waved a bottle of olive oil at her oldest brother.
(Of course, no one could stop Anna from barging in and hugging her wife from behind, watching what she was doing from over her shoulder.)
There was more loud talking and conversations over dinner. Then they moved to the living room, and talked more as Ekaterini helped Gretchen moisturize her hair. They talked just about everything - Eliza’s pregnancy, asked after Andy’s mom and Margareth, Cassiopeia commented on her moms and her life, Anna brought out a bottle of wine, and then another, and then another, and everyone who could drink (Reggie didn't drink that night, out of solidarity for Eliza) was giggly and sleepy at the 1 am mark.
The first ones to leave were the expecting parents, naturally - they had taken over Reggie and Altair's old room, so that's where they retired for the night. Altair and his boyfriend, by their part, made a pillow fort inside the van so they could stargaze until the wee hours of the morning without freezing to death. Gretchen and Cassie went to bed at about the same time the parents did - that is, they were the last ones to go.
Fitting two very tall women in a bed for a teenager meant they had had no choice but to entangle on each other. Thankfully, it wasn't an issue for them.
"Are you comfy?" Gretchen muttered, after much shuffling and nudging and pulling of the blankets.
Cassie hummed. "Are you?"
"Yeah, I'm good." she leaned her head on Cassie's arm. "You're very warm. Good to conserve heat on this cold."
She chuckled. "Hmm, good to know."
"What's that mean?"
"It means that I'm tired and I wish I wasn't."
Gretchen caught on immediately, obviously. "We're on the same wavelength. But yeah, I'm super tired too. They talk so much ."
Cass laughed again, shutting her eyes. "That's because you don't hear yourself."
"Hey." she pulled on her nose lightly as retribution.
"Just go to sleep, Gretchen." she muttered.
Cassie knew she was going to keep arguing until she was proven right, so instead, she just kissed her on the lips. Gretchen melted into it, as she always did.
"I'd rather you do that than tell me to shut up."
"I'd be kissing you 24/7, then."
Gretchen whispered a little “Shut up.” and dropped the conversation. They were both asleep in a matter of minutes.
_____
december 23rd, 2020
“We have a lot of shit to buy, so split up. Gretchen and Cassie, you get the meats, Andy and Altair, the sweets, and Reggie and Eliza get the veggies and bread. Okay?”
"Aye, aye, cap'n!"
"I'll be waiting in the car, you kids better be done before 5pm." Anna waggled her finger. "That's more than enough time!"
"We're not going to take too long, Mom, I promise." Reggie promised, and the "kids" went off into the supermarket, each duo splitting up when they reached the aisles.
"Okay, what does 'the meats' mean?" Cassie immediately asked. "She didn't give us a list."
"She does that. The meats mean picking out the turkey, probably a ham, too, and some sausages. And bits."
"Bits."
Gretchen grinned. "The bits."
"I'll trust you know what you're talking about."
"Let me lead the dance, baby, you follow my steps."
Cassie rolled her eyes. "'Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in heels'. Ever heard that one?"
"That's some fuckin old actors, Cass, where'd you get that one from?"
"Watched some old movies with my brother a couple weekends ago. Went on a Wikipedia spiral. Did you know that there's something called a 'character shoe'?"
"Wild. I bet the theater kids know about that."
"Apparently Sapphire has three pairs. You're normally supposed to have one."
"Sounds like him. What size ham is good for six people?"
"Big? I'm not sure. Get this one, and then you can tell me what the hell the bits are."
Gretchen just laughed.
_____
december 24th, 2020
Christmas Eve was a flurry of cooking, roasting, baking, taking turns showering, stealing kisses, stealing bites of food - it was all about planning and fulfilling plans. One could wonder how they still had any energy when the early evening arrived, and the answer was Anna’s prematurely opened bottle of champagne.
With most the people in the house already well past tipsy and dressed their best, they put on a Christmas songs playlist and sat at the table. One wouldn't think they still had so much to talk about, but the Finches were nothing if not very social people.
Cassie glanced over at Gretchen. She had picked a patterned dress shirt, half open over a tank top and tucked into jeans, while Cass herself had worn a midi skirt with a sweater. Gretchen always dressed for about 10 degrees Celsius warmer than it actually was, and she was the one with the cold limbs.
They ate, talked and drank for a handful of hours - it was almost midnight when a very drunk Anna, at the head of the table, got sentimental.
"I truly am so happy to have everyone here." the alcohol made the hard r and t sounds on her accent become even more noticeable "I cannot lie, I thought our oldest son would be the first one to get married, but I am just as happy for Reginald and Eliza as I am for all of you… Let me tell you all something, you have picked wonderful partners - and I'm not just talking about my children, ha!" she slapped the table. "And Gretchen finally got a girlfriend, eh? First time she brings a girl home and it's for Christmas, talk about not pulling any punches!" she laughed again.
"Mom, I've told you!" an equally drunk Gretchen slurred. "Cassie is not my girlfriend. She's just a very good friend who I happen to have sex with!"
Ouch.
"'sides, that could never happen, right Cass? We are both independent young women who appreciate our independence! Miss me with that sappy shit, you know what I'm sayin'?"
Ouch.
"You don't need to have feelings to be a good lay, I could tell you that any day." she finally finished, taking another swig of her glass.
Insensitive little sh-
Cass noticed Ekaterini looking pitifully at her from the other side of the table, and Eliza as well.
"The way you talk makes it sound like you're gonna go into anaphylactic shock from having feelings. They don't bite , Gretch." Andy, surprisingly, spoke up.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I don't need 'em. That's that."
Fuck. Cass couldn't take this anymore. She got up from the table, muttering something about "ate too much", put her plate on the sink and sat on the couch to sulk. Not too late after, Eliza joined her. From here she could really see the baby belly - showing just slightly even through her oversized sweater.
"Are you alright?" she asked, sweetly.
Cass just shrugged. "I'm used to it, it's just… the wine…"
"Still not a fair way for her to treat you, sweetie."
"I know…" she sighed. "But how can I say anything to her when she's so resistant to any suggestion?"
"Show her, don't tell her." Eliza leaned her head on Cassie's shoulder. The Finches were still going on and on in the background. "If you start acting differently, I bet she'll notice."
"Yeah… Coincidentally, I'm not really feeling like squeezing myself into a twin bed with her tonight."
"Do what feels best to you." she put her hand on her belly.
Cass glanced over at her. "How's the baby?"
Eliza chuckled. "They're great. The doctor said their due date should be around April or May."
"Cool. That's a… Taurus?"
"Aries, if I can help it." she rolled her eyes and laughed. Cass laughed with her. "I'm excited." she muttered.
"I'm excited for you. It's gonna be surreal for a friend to have a baby."
"Yeah… And hopefully they can call you Aunt Cassie, not because you're my friend but because you're in a relationship with their aunt by blood."
"Hopefully…"
_____
december 25th, 2020
Cass slept on the couch that night. (it was not as uncomfortable as she'd expect. She memorized all of their decor, including a group of six rubber ducks on the mantle - three big, three small.) Gretchen went to sleep so late, and so drunk, that she barely noticed.
She was awoken pretty early by Altair and Agnar talking in the living room. As impolite as it was, she eavesdropped, mostly because she had nothing better to do.
"Is it already in the garage?"
"It's on the driveway, the van is in the covered part."
"Should we swap them? She's going to notice it much quicker."
"Dad, it's a car . Not even Gretchen could not notice it."
"Oh, you're right. Well, do you want to go wake her?"
"I think it's better if we let her wake up by herself. Maybe Cass could help…?"
Agnar lowered his voice. "I don't think she would want to. She seemed pretty upset after dinner yesterday, don't you think?"
"Well, yeah. Gretchen kinda has done nothing but be unfair to her for the last two years. I hope they figure it out."
"If she likes her enough to bring her to meet us… well. I hope they figure it out, as you said."
Me too , Cassie thought.
_____
She ended up falling back asleep shortly after that, and was woken up again - this time on purpose - by Anna, who brought her waffles.
"Wakey wakey, big lady." she rhymed, shaking her gently. "Unless you want to skip breakfast."
"No, that's fine… what time is it?"
"Around 11. Christmas morning never starts early around here. Do you want the waffles?"
Cassie yawned. "Please. And thanks. I'll go sit at the table, though."
Anna smiled. "Alright, then, we'll be waiting for you. That's a bathroom, if you need to freshen up." she added, pointing to a door on her left.
"Okay. Thanks."
She went into the bathroom to do her business and wash her face. She still had some eyeliner on from last night, but she didn't go through the effort of trying to scrub it out. Someone in the house must have makeup remover. Her hair looked like a mess, though, so she dampened and tamed it with a comb she found in the cabinet.
When she left, most of the household was sitting at the breakfast table, a spot with a plate of waffles reserved for her. The only ones missing, by her headcount, were Andy and Gretchen. Not that unusual, though she would have thought that Andy would have attempted to make coffee for everyone. He showed up soon, though, collapsing into Altair's arms. She chuckled - she thought they were cute.
She wasn't thinking about the one person missing.
...except that she was, because Gretchen was the subject at the table. The family had gotten together to buy her a car, from what Cassie was gathering, so she wouldn't either take the van so no one could use it or be late everywhere because she preferred to skateboard everywhere. Cass just listened quietly, until…
"'Sup, everyone, what did Santa put under the tree for me?"
"Not even a good morning? What manners have we taught you?" Ekaterini jabbed from the other side of the table.
"Alright, alright." She went around the table and kissed her parents' cheeks, and fist bumped everyone else. Cassie reluctantly complied. "Mama, these waffles smell delicious." she finished, and grabbed her own plate. Seeing as there was no space at the table, she sat on the counter.
"There is a gift 'from Santa' for you, though." Agnar spoke up after she finished eating. "Come here."
Everyone else looked at each other with knowing looks, and Gretchen looked suspiciously at everyone.
"Is it for real or are you pulling my leg?"
A chorus of "no"s rang out.
"Cass, are they pulling my leg?"
She just shrugged, no emotions on her face. "You tell me."
"Just go, Gretchen." Altair pushed her lightly.
"Okay, okay."
They all congregated around the garage door, and when she looked outside she did a double take.
"Is that… another car?"
"Not another car, it's your car." Altair broke the news. "Merry Christmas, stop stealing the van."
Even though Cass was mad at her, the look of surprise on her face was really adorable.
"Wow, I… What the fuck!" she hugged her dad, the person closest to her. "Thank you guys so much! What!"
Agnar took the keys from his pocket. "Have at it, sweetie."
"Sick! Cass, do you wanna go on a joyride?"
She froze. God damn it, being put on the spot like that when everyone but her knew it already.
"I'm… not feeling too well. I think I ate too much, maybe later."
Shit, now she brought down the whole mood. Not for can't-feel-feelings Finch, apparently, because she just started asking questions about the car.
Eliza rubbed her back, and smiled sympathetically. Cass sighed.
"I'll go change out of my pajamas, see you guys soon."
And she couldn't even go get her own clothes without going to her room. Cass felt like she was trapped in an echo chamber, and the echoing was just Gretchen, over and over again.
When you spend most of your life around the person you love… it's hard to get away from them, no matter how mad you get.
_____
december 26th, 2020
Eventually, Gretchen noticed. At some point, she would : it wasn't news that she could read everyone's emotions. Maybe she didn't think Cass would ever hide something from her, or maybe it was the subject she approached her with, in the backyard.
"Cass? You okay?"
She shrugged.
"Don't you tell me you're still feeling bad from overeating, I've seen you with food poisoning and you weren't as bad as this. Is it your period?"
"Stop trying to guess."
Gretchen was taken aback by the sudden bluntness.
"Whoa, what's wrong with you?"
Cass tried to hold herself back, she really did. But she had been patient for long enough.
" What's wrong with me ? What's wrong with you !? You, you say all that stuff and then you expect me to not feel bad about it?"
"Cass, what stuff? Did I- did I say anything while I was drunk?"
"Oh, you said a lot, actually." she scoffed. "No, it could never be like that, no, just a good lay, I don't need feelings! Honestly, how the fuck do you know so much about everyone and you can't tell why that's bad."
Gretchen looked confused. "You mean… the relationship stuff? But I thought you… why did that upset you?"
"Because you broke my heart, Gretchen! I- nevermind. I'm not going to scream at you until you understand. Enjoy your bed alone ."
She ran upstairs to the balcony, holding back her tears until she was alone. She let out a sob, and then another one.
Cass never thought she was someone whose heart could be broken so thoroughly as this. But god, did Gretchen show her again and again how wrong she was about everything she thought she felt.
And she still couldn't stop loving her. She frequented her dreams now, on this next week of sulking, as often as she always did. Dreams where they cuddled, dreams where they laughed, dreams where they had sex, dreams where they fell deep, deep, deep into the dark and scary ocean, holding on to each other like lifelines.
Even while ignoring her, Cass loved Gretchen with so much of her heart, nearly none of it was left for her to argue against it.
_____
december 31, 2020
New year's was… weird. During the week, Cass had watched TV shows with her friends, slept on the couch, had nice heart-to-hearts with the Finch parents (nothing anyone hadn't told her before - Gretchen was kind of Just Like That, and it wasn't her parents that would tell her to stop), but none of it helped fill the crack in her heart. She knew what would, and she didn't expect it to happen.
On the 27th, Eliza and Reggie left to spend New Year's with her family. She hugged Cassie tight before they went, muttering well-wishes and good luck into her ear. Cassie just hugged her back.
Gretchen wasn't having the time of her life, either, and Cassie really hoped she was thinking about her actions. She must have asked after her, too, because the looks weren't just pity, anymore.
After a dinner where, weirdly, no one got super drunk, they all gathered with champagne glasses - not all of them alcoholic - in front of the TV, watching the news and waiting for the countdown with idle chatter.
Cassie was standing off to the side, discussing a theory Andy had about the show they watched, when Gretchen approached her, reserved.
"Um. Can we talk, later? In my room, that is?" she asked, more awkwardly than ever.
Cassie blinked. "Uh, sure. After the fireworks?"
"Yeah, that works. Thanks." and she left, as unassumingly as she had approached.
Andy looked up at her with a Look in their eyes.
"What is it?"
"Nothing, I just hope it goes well. Anyway, I've read about it, and if they don't include Lady Di's middle eastern boyfriend, then you know the Queen actually had a hand in the show-" and he continued with the theory.
I hope it goes well, too. A week of cold shoulder wasn't easy.
"Come on, it's going to start!" Anna gestured for everyone to gather around.
"Bye, 2020!"
"2021 better be good!"
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" they counted along. "Happy new year!"
They toasted, and cheered, and hugged, then went outside to watch the fireworks. The young couple went off to the sides to have a new year's kiss, while the parents just embraced each other while watching the show.
After it all calmed down and they settled in front of the TV, Gretchen gestured to her on the stairs. Cassie followed without a word.
Gretchen shut the door, and they sat next to each other on the twin bed, in silence. Cass had decided she wasn't going to say anything first, so she waited for Gretchen to get the courage. She fiddled a bit, eventually unbuttoning her collar, and sighed.
"...have I ever told you about my only girlfriend?" she asked, quietly.
Cassie blinked. "I don't think so."
"We were, like, 12. Her name was Elise." she sighed. "I thought she was cute, and I had barely started to know that I liked girls. We were sitting at the lake one evening, breaking curfew, just talking about nothing. She asked if she could kiss me, and I said she could. And then there were three weeks where we were camp sweethearts."
She chuckled, with a fond look in her eyes. "It was all of the kid stuff. We held hands, kissed when the counselors weren't looking, made each other cute trinkets, snuck out at night… We promised we'd stay in touch. But it was 2008, and online relationships were not a thing for tweens. So it petered out.
"Next year she was… completely different. I was too, I just hadn't noticed it. And she had a boyfriend now… she did everything we used to with him. Right in front of me. So, if she didn't care, I wouldn't either. And after that, every relationship I had was always physical. Learning to make out at 14, learning to have sex at 16… it's just how I've been. And… I'm sorry it hurt you. I should've been more aware of your feelings, and how you're not like this."
Cassie sighed. "Thanks. But that's not all of it, and you know it."
"What?"
"What happens next."
She sighed. "I… haven't thought about that."
"Haven't you? Gretchen, how many people do you know invite their fuckbuddy to meet their parents?"
Gretchen blinked. "Ah. Well, shit."
Cassie couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Did you really not realize the implications?"
"...I was never the brightest banana in the bunch."
She rolled her eyes. Gretchen smiled sheepishly.
"Cass… have we been in a relationship this whole time and I didn't know it?"
"I wouldn't say 'this whole time'. Only… since Altair's birthday party."
"That he barely went to?"
"Yeah. Do you remember what happened there?"
"Something about you picking me up?"
"You almost got in a fight with some guy. No one could convince you to stop arguing, and when you decided to throw fists I picked you up and brought you to your bedroom.
"You started crying, remember? The guy was saying some nasty shit about lesbians and something he said hit a nerve for you. And when you're drunk and angry and you can't fight…"
"...I get emotional. Right." Gretchen seemed to remember. "I just cried into your shirt."
"Yeah." she let out a chuckle. "I just held you while you cried without even knowing why. And then we fell asleep - the first time we woke up in the same bed without fucking. And that next morning was when I first realized I loved you."
A flurry of emotions went through Gretchen's face. Cass could read them fluently at this point. Sadness, surprise, tenderness… The smile at the end was her favorite. The corners of her mouth slightly turned up, with a hint of a pout and eyebrows upturned at the center. A genuine feeling of happiness from Gretchen.
"Cass?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I kiss you?"
"...Always."
Gretchen immediately went for it - a very different kiss from the heated ones they shared frequently. She cradled Cassie's face with her hands, and her lips touched the other woman's very delicately, barely moving. Cassie could swear she felt her heart miss a beat. Gretchen pulled away to look into her eyes.
"Shit, I caught feelings." she muttered.
"And how do you feel about that?" Cassie muttered back.
"Wonderful." she whispered, before kissing her passionately again.
They just made out on Gretchen's childhood bed, like a pair of horny teenagers. They couldn't look at each other without giggling, and kissing again and again and again. When they were eventually out of breath, Gretchen laying on Cassie's chest, listening to her heartbeat, she asked:
"...So we're dating?"
"Well, are we?"
"I would like that a lot." Gretchen looked tenderly into her eyes. "I'm gonna miss orgies, though."
Cassie frowned. "Babe, you don't have to."
"Hmm?"
"As long as I'm the only one that takes you to Wendy's at 5am for a romantic dinner, I don't mind sharing."
"Oh." she blinked. "Dope."
"Did you never think that was an option?"
"Well, it isn't with ordinary people."
"And since when have I been an ordinary person?" Cassie teased, touching her nose with hers.
"Great point. Come here."
And they kissed again.
_____
january 1st, 2021
gretchen: ahem
gretchen: happy new year
> gretchen: happy new year
sushi man: oh yeah... happy new year!
gretchen: i am here to announce that i am a dumbass
coffee kid: happy new year everybody
sushi man: hope you had a nice start, cause I know I did
gretchen: and that i now indeed have a girlfriend
chaotic catgirl: oh god... 2020 feel like yesterday
> gretchen: i am here to announce that i am a dumbass
sushi man: did you just realize it now?
> gretchen: and that i now indeed have a girlfriend
party queen: Ooh finally girl
> gretchen: and that i now indeed have a girlfriend
sushi man: thank fucking god!!
gretchen: thanks for the attention goodbye
> gretchen: and that i now indeed have a girlfriend
coffee kid: FINALLY
> gretchen: and that i now indeed have a girlfriend
princess: oh wow finally
princess: it feels as if you've been dating for two years already
_____
epilogue
The idea formed itself in Gretchen's head as soon as she had a moment to herself.
"Do you wanna go to the beach?"
Cassie raised an eyebrow. "Like, now?"
"Yeah. I have a car, and there's a shore about one hour away from here."
"It's the middle of winter?"
"Bundle up, then. Come on, it'll be fun!"
She argued, but Gretchen knew as soon as she suggested it that her girlfriend would agree.
She hadn't thought much about it yet, barely had the time; they sorted it out, what, 10 hours ago? And Gretchen could not shake the feeling that she should atone for all the hurt she caused Cassie.
"Yeah, let's go. Grab an extra blanket, though." she cautioned.
"On it."
The beach was rocky, empty and windy. Not great for sunbathing, but perfect for a clandestine walk in the middle of winter. They leaned against each other, their boots crunching the rocky sand on the shore and the waves crashing the only sounds they could hear.
Gretchen turned to her. She wasn't a short woman by any means, but she liked that she needed to tilt her head up to look Cass in the eyes.
"What?"
"Just appreciatin'.'' she smiled. Cassie couldn't help but smile back, and kiss her on the tip of her nose.
"You're gonna get frostbite by appreciatin'."
"That's fine."
"You got sappy fast, huh?"
"You try being hit with all your feelings in one go." Gretchen snarked. "I have a lot of them right now."
"I'm not complaining." Cassie pulled her into a kiss, and her natural warmth against the cold wind felt just… perfect.
"I'm getting tired of walking." Gretchen commented, suddenly out of air.
"Do you wanna sit down? There's some rocks over there."
"Yeah, sure."
They made their way over to the rocks, and Cassie sat down on a bigger one and pulled her hood down. The wind immediately swept her hair all to one side, and Gretchen was taken aback by her beauty. She scrambled for her phone.
"What is it?"
"Stay right there." she pointed the camera at her, adjusting the lighting and angle as fast as she could. Cass turned her head in profile, and Gretchen snapped the picture. She didn't want to forget this.
"There. You just looked - very good."
"You can say I'm gorgeous." she joked.
"Oh, yeah?" Gretchen opened the group chat and sent the picture.
gretchen: anyway
gretchen: [attached picture] my gf's gorgeous did you know that