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Chenle
Waking up in the morning is easier these days, mostly because the days aren't so endless. In fact, sometimes he finds himself wishing for a little bit more time, unlike he used to.
Before the world ended (he says ever so dramatically), he was headed out of high school, struggling to finish classes because he had lost all motivation. Now though? He wakes up to the sound of birds chirping outside his window, and when he walks downstairs there’s the smell of strawberry tea being warmed on the wood burning stove.
“Oh, Chenle, you’re awake,” Jaemin says as he stirs the pot, turning with a grin on his bright features. Jaemin is usually never the first one awake, which means Chenle slept in entirely too late.
“What time is it?” He asks as he steps into the kitchen, reaching into one of the cabinets for a teacup. They were lucky that when Jeno found this house there were already dishes and utensils, nice ones too. The people up and left everything, actually; barrels of flour and sugar, canned fruits and veggies stored in a basement that Jaemin saves for celebrations. They were literally doomsday preppers, and sometimes Chenle wonders why they left it all, but it serves them well so he chooses to be grateful instead.
“Mid-day,” Jaemin hums as he takes the pot off the stovetop, setting it on a knitted warmer on the wooden countertop. “Jeno, Mark and Hyuck are checking the fields, Jisung’s with the cows, and Renjun is gathering eggs.”
Immediately Chenle perks up at the mention of the youngest of the group, the last one to be found and his best friend since the day he found him.
Jisung.
Jaemin audibly chuckles at the way Chenle seems to tense in anticipation, but he ignores it, because everyone knows. Everyone knows how he feels about Jisung—except him.
“Yeah, yeah. Go find Sungie. I’ll leave the tea on the counter for you to have later.” Jaemin is always so encouraging of Chenle’s antics, and today is no different. Still, Chenle gives him a brief hug before bounding out the screen door, the warm spring day greeting his bared shoulders in the loose tank top he wears.
The farming fields are half empty, because they had to shrink them to make them manageable for the seven guys. As promised, Chenle sees Jeno, Mark, and Hyuck together, watering cans in hand and baskets nearby to put the ripe stuff they may find. Chenle is extremely grateful that Jaemin came from a farming family, and that he and Jeno happened to find him after everything went to shit.
Surrounding them are miles of rolling hills, and in the winter they have to survive off whatever they find during scavenging trips, or if an animal is old enough and has provided a kid or two, they’ll eat that, but Jisung prefers them as pets. Even in the face of the end of society, economies collapsing and people blowing everyone to shit, Jisung has remained soft. Out here they could still be affected by leftover radiation, but the sun shines as it always has, and the grass is green, and the sound of bleating goats makes you forget anything bad has happened at all.
Chenle approaches the grazing pasture, slipping through the small gate before letting it click shut behind him. Thankfully Jisung isn’t a speck out in the distance, and he can hear the younger’s small laughter as one of the four calves rubs against his thigh. They’re lucky that the mommas keep making babies, and even luckier that most have survived. Nature is funny that way.
“Hey, Sungie,” he says as he gets closer, startling Jisung slightly as he lifts his head to see the source of the voice. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
Jisung’s expression softens as he leans down to pat the calf’s head, brown and fluffy, kinda like him, Chenle thinks. “You didn’t, just surprised me.” There’s a pause, and Chenle holds a hand up to shield his eyes from the midday sun that glows behind Jisung’s head. “You were asleep when I came into the main house this morning,” he murmurs, thoughtful, and maybe a bit teasing. “I wanted to come wake you but Jaemin said you were up until late with those books you love so much.”
Chenle’s cheeks flush at the comment, and he hopes Jisung just thinks it’s the effects of the sun. Jisung is a bit newer to the group, only having joined them after they found him on a scavenging trip about 6 months ago. He was with a group of others much older than him, but he was dirty and miserable, so he joined them instead. However he already knows all their little habits, fitting in like a missing puzzle piece, and he constantly chides Chenle for not sleeping well.
“Is there something wrong with reading?” Chenle asks with a grin, and Jisung removes himself from the calf to come around to Chenle’s side so he no longer faces the sun, and the angle causes a dark shadow to cast on Jisung’s face from his nose. The rembrandt triangle makes an appearance on Jisung’s cheek, and Chenle absentmindedly tells himself it’s because Jisung is art.
“I guess I just don’t see your eagerness to get all dusty and covered in paper cuts when you could be out here.” Jisung scrunches his nose and Chenle gets the sudden urge to touch him, to hold his hand and bury his face into his shoulder. But he can’t, not yet, so he doesn’t. “Besides, this all happened before I could even finish my last year of high school, so I’m not as understanding of the desire to read for fun.”
Chenle can’t help but laugh at that, because Chenle was also in his last year of high school when the world decided to not function anymore, so that excuse seems blasè. “What kind of aggressive reading are you partaking in? I don’t have any paper cuts.” Jisung joins him with a lighthearted chuckle, and Chenle imprints the sound to memory over and over again.
“Yeah, well,” he trails off, holding a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck. Jisung looks nervous for a brief moment, and granted he’s usually a skittish human, he looks especially uncertain then. “Even though I don’t like reading, I do like stories.” The hand clasping his neck collapses to his side as if weighed down by his words, but Chenle buzzes with joy at what he hopes Jisung is suggesting.
“Oh?” Chenle prompts further, taking a tentative step forward until he can lightly kick at the toe of Jisung’s worn converse rubber.
“Yeah, and I know we have lots of chores to do, but maybe tonight?” Jisung is taught like a bow, his eyes flitting every which way to avoid looking Chenle in the eyes, and Chenle finds it painfully adorable.
“Tired of Renjun sneaking in to sleep with Mark and Donghyuck?” Chenle asks with a knowing look, equally as amused at the trio’s antics. The seven of them are split up into the main house and the guest house. Jeno and Jaemin share the master in the main house, and Renjun and Chenle each have a bedroom because they were there first. Then in the guest house Donghyuck and Mark share a room, and Jisung has the smallest room that looks like it was a maid quarters. However Renjun never sleeps in his own bed. If he’s not slipping into the guest house in the middle of night then he’s already sandwiched between Jeno and Jaemin. Chenle finds his ability to keep them all wrapped around his finger funny, and they all get along no matter what so it has yet to become an issue. Jisung however receives the brunt end of the situation, because the guest house rooms are not as well made, and the other three are a giggly, loud bunch.
Chenle just thinks Mark and Donghyuck should move into the main house and he and Jisung could have the guest house all to themselves, but they’re settled, and that’s just more work.
“Of course you can stay with me tonight, Sungie,” Chenle finally replies, enjoying the way Jisung’s nervous features shift to a different sort of uncertain look, and immediately Chenle scrambles for a different angle. “Us!” He corrects suddenly, causing Jisung’s shoulders to knit in surprise. “You can stay with us. Jeno, Jaemin and I. Renjun won’t be in his bed anyways, so—” Chenle shuts his mouth with an audible click, face heating up all over again as he takes a few steps back, stumbling over the knotted grazing grass. “Okay, see you at dinner. Jaemin’s making zucchini soup, so, yum.” He turns on his heels, walking away like a coward who’s just seen a spider in a public bathroom stall, but he doesn’t care, really. They’re all stuck together anyways, so he allows himself the silly antics over a crush.
Later that evening, Chenle and Jeno help Jaemin finish cooking dinner, amazed at how he makes vegetable broth that tastes like warm heaven with nothing but scraps. Jeno sneaks a slurp or two from the pot, Jaemin chastises him every time, but they grin and kiss like they’re madly in love after he scowls each time too. Chenle has never minded it, partly because he owes them his life, and partly because love is important when you have nothing else. Jeno and Jaemin are kind of like his and Jisung’s pseudo parents, which makes everyone else… Renjun’s strange harem of men who are their friends. He tries not to think too much of it. Life is complicated enough.
As if summoned by his thoughts, Donghyuck and Mark come barreling in, pushing and shoving at each other as they laugh breathlessly.
“I totally beat you!” Donghyuck shouts even as Mark pushes at his face.
“You cheated! Jisung gave you his half filled basket so it doesn’t count!” Mark retorts, letting Donghyuck get closer to him again and steal a quick kiss.
“The berries were hardly covering the bottom of the basket. Down boys.” The sound of Renjun’s voice immediately pacifies whatever feud Donghyuck and Mark were trying to keep alive, but they grin happily when they turn to Renjun and disappear into the dining room together, lost in their own world.
It’s then that Chenle notices who entered with Renjun, and the sight of him makes a crooked smile form on Chenle’s features.
Jisung is a bit dirty, or at least, his clothes are. The bottom of his jeans are covered in a small layer of dirt, and Chenle knows they’ll have to go to the river for washing tomorrow even though he is clean. Chenle has been doing house chores all day since it’s his turn to do so, but he wishes he could’ve been out there feeding the animals and talking to Jisung instead, smearing mud on his cheek just to get an excuse to touch him.
“You hungry?” Chenle asks with a smile, unable to help the way his heart beats faster when Jisung smiles back.
“Starving. I had an apple and some peanuts for lunch, which definitely was not enough for me.” There’s a snort behind Chenle at that, causing both boys to look and see Jeno carrying a large pot of the soup to the dining room. “What?” Jisung asks.
“You eat more than any of us, Jisung. I think we know that’s not nearly enough.” Jeno replies with a chuckle before disappearing into the other part of the house. Jaemin isn’t far behind him, approaching Chenle and Jisung instead with outstretched hands.
Jaemin grabs them and begins leading them to the dining room, clearly impatient to have everyone together to eat. “Don’t worry, Sungie, there’s plenty of food for everyone. I even made some rosemary bread as a treat.”
Jisung perks up at that, because bread is always a treat. Thankfully they never run out of flour because of the wheat fields nearby and their pre-existing supplies, but Jaemin is always frugal about ingredients anyways.
Jisung
Once everyone sits at the table, places set up thanks to Chenle, the group fall into a comfortable silence as they begin to eat. Every now and then the familiar sound of silverware clanking against bowls, someone talking with their mouth full of bread, and sighs of contentment break the quiet, and Jisung thinks it feels like home.
No, it is home, he corrects. This is his life now. Warm zucchini soup and friends who love him no matter what and a warm bed for the winter. Poor him, huh?
Yeah, the world ended, he has no idea where his parents are, but his life is still going, and he has the guys. He has Chenle.
After dinner Jisung helps with the dishes, which Jeno is grateful for because he’s obviously itching to cuddle up to Jaemin. They have a chore chart they follow for weekly things to do, and you’d think you’d get sick of your partner after being one of the 6 only people you know. Not for Jeno and Jaemin, though. On days where they don’t work together they’re practically gravitating towards each other like magnets by sundown.
Speaking of magnets.
Jisung dries his hand on a fraying towel with faded dandelions on it before turning to search for Chenle. He’s not in the kitchen, and Jisung can see from where he stands that he’s not in the living room or dining room. He could be in the small library room, but he has a feeling he’s somewhere else entirely.
On his way upstairs he turns off the lights, assuming that nobody else will be coming back down due to the silence now that Renjun, Donghyuck and Mark have left. Jisung finds himself thankful for the off-grid solar system in the main house, because in the guest house all they have is oil lamps and candles. The light switches are like a little treat.
Once he reaches the top step he pauses, the moonlight filtering in from the window at the end of the hall and making everything look dreamy. There’s four doors. One is a bathroom they’ve modified thanks to no running water, one is Jeno and Jaemin’s room, one is Renjun’s, and the last with a warm glow seeping out from underneath it is Chenle’s.
Jisung heads to it, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that his jeans are dirty and he didn’t think to bring a change of clothes. It’s not a massively big deal, he can sleep in Renjun’s bed with boxers for one night, but he was hoping to lay and talk with Chenle for a bit, and he can’t do that with dirty jeans.
Knock knock . Jisung waits, listening to the shuffling on the other side before suddenly the warmth spills out into the hall, and his eyes land on Chenle’s illuminated face.
Chenle takes a step back, inviting Jisung in without question, and Jisung feels his hands tingle with nerves. “I see Jeno abandoned you to do all the cleaning after dinner,” he says with a light laugh, shutting the door behind Jisung with an audible click.
It’s true, Jeno did, but Jisung encouraged him to. He couldn’t stand how antsy he looked to join Jaemin in bed. “Yeah,” Jisung replies simply, shrugging his shoulders to convey that it's not a big deal. “I don’t like seeing him mopey when he can’t see Jaemin, so I just told him to go.”
“They’re disgusting aren’t they?” The question is a joke, made obvious by the fact that when Jisung turns to look at Chenle again he’s grinning ear to ear.
“Yeah, the grossest,” Jisung agrees with a nervous laugh, his hands unsure at his sides. He’s been in Chenle's room plenty of times, but never because he’s asked to stay. It’s usually natural, a side effect of being caught up in each other’s company, and this time it’s because Jisung inserted himself.
“Do you need some shorts? You’re still in your dirty jeans and my sleeping pants will probably be too short on you, but shorts should be fine, right?” Even as he asks he’s already opening his dresser, examining the things he has inside before pulling out his favorite pair of basketball shorts. There’s a faded Golden State Warriors logo on it, and the gesture hits Jisung like a tsunami.
“But—these are your favorite. I shouldn’t—” He stammers awkwardly, even as Chenle pushes the shorts into his chest as if not willing to debate on it.
“And they’ll still be my favorite after you wear them. Now get comfy, I only have one chapter left of this book and want to finish it before bed.
Well, there’s no arguing with that. Or maybe Jisung is just weak.
Nah, definitely the first one.
Jisung does as he’s told and changes in the bathroom, leaving his dirty jeans slung over the tub to be dealt with later. He even uses the basin of fresh water that they use to wash their hands to scrub off some of the dirt on his legs with a sponge, and tosses the dirty sponge in the tub as well. He’ll clean it all tomorrow, but for now he has other priorities.
He slinks back into Chenle’s room and notices that the overhead light has been shut off in favor of a bedside lamp, making the room even warmer than before. Chenle is already under his blankets, propped up against the headboard with a pillow and book in his hands. Jisung recognizes it as White Fang , a classic he claims he genuinely really liked in middle school and wanted to read again. Jisung doesn’t even remember it, and he isn’t sure what to do when he gets into the room either.
“Come on, sit,” Chenle beckons as he pats the vacant space next to him, and Jisung nearly stumbles over his own feet as he obeys. Eventually he makes his way to the bed safely and crawls under the covers, knowing the spring night time air might still be a little crisp for going around in shorts. Chenle encourages him to lay down, so he does, and then he’s looking up at the boy for further instruction.
Once he’s properly settled Chenle just gives him a questioning smile, as if asking if he’s okay, and all Jisung can do is nod.
“Okay, so,” Chenle starts before clearing his throat, holding the book up to be better read in the lamplight. “Chapter 5, The Sleeping Wolf,” he announces to Jisung and begins to read. “It was about this time that the newspapers were full of the daring escape of a convict from San Quentin Prison. He was a ferocious man…”
Jisung listens intently, enjoying the soft lull of Chenle’s voice as he snuggles further into the bed. Something about a prison and puppies and other stuff he hears in and out of consciousness. He’s much more tired than he realized, but he knows Chenle doesn’t mind, and he can always get up to go to Renjun’s room later.
It’s Chenle who lets him nap on his legs in the pastures and Chenle who listens to him tell stories about his life from before while they walk to the river and Chenle who brings him fresh apples while he’s working. It’s always Chenle who’s around, caring for him, being his friend, and it’s these thoughts that allow him to drift off to sleep.
Sometime in the night Jisung wakes up, startled awake by the reminder that he’s not in his bed, or Renjun’s, and is in fact warmed by another body next to him.
Chenle.
Chenle is asleep, Jisung can tell, and he thinks he better slip out of the room and let him have his bed back for the night.
Carefully, Jisung removes the covers, sitting up as quietly as he can before sliding a leg out and letting his foot find the floor. He’s about to swing his other leg over when something grabs his wrist, causing him to yelp and startle back into the bed.
“Shh,” Chenle quiets him with a tired giggle, and Jisung looks down to see his hand wrapped around his wrist. “You don’t have to leave. Besides, it's warmer with you here.” His words are a bit slurred, clearly still half asleep, but he looks so damn cute that Jisung doesn’t think he could protest if he tried.
He nods at Chenle’s half lidded eyes before slipping back into bed, finding a comfortable position again and letting himself relax. Jisung turns onto his side, suddenly hyper aware of how close they are—which, of course they’re close, they’re sharing a bed, but it being shoved in your face is a much harder reality to grasp.
Jisung notices that Chenle’s cheeks catch the moonlight, his dark hair shiny and splayed out against the pillow, and he feels a gnawing sensation in his chest at the sight. He’s so grateful to be here, to be alive, and to be cozy and safe with his best friend in the whole world. It’s random little moments like this, where he’s read to sleep with a full belly and tired legs, that he realizes how lucky he is, and he wishes he could verbalize it better.
The silence, however, seems to be coaxing him, and he realizes he’s not quite ready to sleep. Not with his hands tingling and his feet rubbing together with nerves. He’s too anxious, too excited, and hopes that Chenle hasn’t fallen back asleep yet.
“Chenle,” Jisung says softly, and Chenle just hums in response, eyes still shut with exhaustion. Suddenly he feels bad for selfishly disturbing him, and thinks maybe if he just keeps quiet Chenle will forget he said anything and go back to sleep, but that’s not like Chenle at all. Instead his eyes blink open, cheek slightly squished where his hand rests underneath it, and Jisung’s heart constricts in his chest at the sight. Chenle is so pretty, so warm and so kind. He always makes Jisung laugh, always makes everyone laugh even if they don’t want to. He’s strong and ruthless and lively, and Jisung finds himself wondering what it’d be like to have him waiting for him like Jeno waits for Jaemin. Or Mark for Donghyuck. And all of the above for Renjun.
“What is it?” The older boy asks again, suddenly more alert than he was mere seconds ago. “Are you okay?” Ah, well.
That question makes Jisung want to cry, because he’s so much more than okay. He’s so happy. Sure he has to farm every day and his equivalent to a hot shower these days is the warm river in the summer and he’ll never have chocolate ice cream again, but he has never felt so content in his life. And yeah, it’s been a short life thus far, he’s barely 19, but he’s had enough hardship for a million lifetimes, and finally feeling safe is more than he could ask for.
“Come here,” Chenle murmurs when he doesn’t get an answer, reaching his arm out to pull Jisung closer. Despite Jisung being much taller, Chenle tucks his head beneath his chin, gently combing through his hair as if in reassurance. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you might feel better.”
Despite how his entire body comes alive at the small display of affection, Jisung can’t help but snort at his words. Not in a condescending way, but out of absurdity. Chenle thinks he’s upset when that couldn't be farther from the truth. “Chenle,” he starts, his trembling hand tentatively finding a comfortable spot on Chenle’s back. “I’m not sad. I just—I’m really happy, actually. I can't stop thinking about how happy I am. How happy—” you make me.
He can’t say it, still afraid, still a sliver unsure if Chenle feels the same way, and that sliver is an agonizingly annoying one.
“If you’re happy then why do you feel so distressed?” It’s the million dollar question isn't it? Jisung wishes he could just come right out with it, to him Chenle is fearless, and he feels guilty for not being able to be the same. He also feels a bit annoyed that Chenle understands him so well, but then again, shouldn’t that be a good thing? Doesn't that mean he cares about him? However, Chenle cares about everyone, it’s in his blood to care about people, so then why—“Jisung.”
His voice stops his thoughts dead in their tracks. He doesn’t sound very sleepy anymore, and Jisung shrinks in on himself as Chenle pulls back to look down at him.
“Yes?” Jisung asks quietly, voice barely above a whisper, but it feels like a boom of thunder in the silent room.
And Chenle doesn’t say anything.
They look at each other in the darkness, only the outline of Chenle’s features visible with the moon shining from outside, and Jisung wishes he could see his expression.
“We can talk about it in the morning, okay?” Chenle says quietly, one of his hands reaching up to gently cup Jisung’s cheek. Jisung feels his breath hitch at the contact, and without any warning there's a light peck placed on his lips, startling him before he’s nuzzled back into a hug.
Tomorrow.
But Jisung doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep, not when his whole body buzzes from the singular kiss. That’s okay though, isn’t it? He’ll have his whole life to sleep and to think and to talk. His whole life with Chenle.
And that's enough for him tonight.