Chapter Text
Shuichi misses breakfast this morning, not because he sleeps in (which in itself is new for him) but out of nerves.
He spends a good, long while just staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, staring hard at the alternate version of himself who moves over the bathroom sink. There’s a single piece of hair just a bit shorter than the rest that sticks up directly in the middle of his head, and it’s always been there, but right now Shuichi is impossibly, painfully aware of it, and no matter how much water he uses to try and coax it down, it won’t stay put.
It might be worth asking Kaito for some of his gel.
Ugh. It’s not like Shuichi to get so worked up over this. Well-- it’s like him to get worked up, just not over something like his hair, if only because Shuichi wears a hat every day.
...That is, that’s been a habit up until now, but… Shuichi frowns, and eventually flicks off the bathroom light, walking out into the bedroom. He picks up his tie off the back of a chair and loops it around the collar of his shirt, idly tying it as he looks at where his hat is still resting on the nightstand. Really, nobody knows he was planning to go without it today. He could still back out, and his classmates would be none the wiser. That’s the nice thing, about leaving people’s expectations as low as possible; when you don’t defy them, they don’t even notice. If Shuichi came to class in his hat, nobody would say a thing about it.
But…
Shuichi crosses the room and picks the hat up off the nightstand, turning it over in his hands, running his thumb over the silver star on the edge. His uncle had given it to him as a Christmas present when he was ten, back when he was still living with his parents. It had sat in his closet every day for two years, until he took it out to put in a box, and then it sat in his new closet at his uncle’s house for another year until he took it out again, searching for something to hide him from the world in the wake of that murder case.
This was it, Shuichi supposes. He fiddles with some of the patches on the cap, flicking his nails against the brim, and then releases a breath and puts it down. This isn’t… about what anybody else might think. Shuichi is tired, of… hiding from the world, of hiding from people’s eyes. He wants to put himself out there, all of himself, to allow other people to be around him in the way that he used to be so afraid of doing.
It’s about time for that, he thinks.
In the end, Shuichi does leave his room without his hat, his school binder tucked under his arm and his jacket slung over his shoulder, and he gets as far as the entrance to the main building before he decides that this is a mistake and promptly turns around to collect it. Just as he’s about to walk back across the courtyard, though, the door opens behind him, and he glances over his shoulder.
“Shuichi! Good morning!” Kaito beams when they meet eye contact, and ah, fuck. He’s in too deep. Kaito’s already seen him. This plan was doomed from the start. “I was just about to come grab you!”
Embarrassingly, Shuichi’s immediate instinct is to reach up and grab for the brim of his cap, but there’s nothing there, so his fingers curl around absolutely nothing, and he ends up just. Swiping in front of his face. You know, like a moron. Kaito blinks at him, but mercifully seems to decide not to comment, and Shuichi slowly lowers his hand to his side. “Ah, was it because I missed breakfast? Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Nah, don’t worry, I just figured you slept in or somethin’.” Kaito claps him on the shoulder. “Is everything good, though? You were about to walk away when I saw you.”
“Oh…” Kaito can be alarmingly perceptive at times, even though he pretends not to be. Shuichi contemplates the question for a moment, worrying his lower lip between his teeth and staring up at Kaito’s face, trying to figure out what to say. He considers saying, I realised I forgot something and was about to go and get it, but… just the sight of Kaito’s face makes him feel better, more assured, and Kaito hasn’t even commented on his lack of the hat. It must not be that big of a deal. “Everything’s alright,” he says, honestly. “I was just, um… well, nevermind. It doesn’t matter.”
Kaito blinks. “If you say so! But if you need to talk to me, you know that you can, yeah?”
“Of course,” Shuichi can’t help smiling slightly. “You’ve made that more than clear, Momota-kun, I promise.”
Before either of them can say anything else, the bell rings, marking that class is to start in five minutes. Kaito glances upwards, like he could actually see the bell ringing from here, then opens the door back up, gesturing for Shuichi to step inside ahead of him. Shuichi murmurs a thanks as he steps inside the hallway, taking a moment to adjust to the lighting change-- everything outside is so much brighter without his hat, so he has to get used to the darkened hallways-- before he starts to follow Kaito upstairs to their homeroom class.
When they reach the door, Kaito takes it for him a second time, and Shuichi giggles. He’s really quite chivalrous. He enters the classroom with another thanks, and is greeted as he always is with a faceful of chatter, though it dies down as he steps inside.
Which is never a good sign.
“Woah, Saihara-chan!” It’s Kokichi who speaks first, shoving Miu’s head down as he perks up. “You lost your gay little hat!”
“Shrewd observation,” Shuichi remarks, despite himself, and Kokichi rewards him with a large, cheeky grin. He wouldn’t be so quick on the draw with anyone else, but Kokichi’s always brought it out of him. The supreme leader certainly doesn’t seem bothered by Shuichi’s retort. If anything that push and pull is always what he’s after when he makes comments like that.
“Wow! Saihara-kun looks very nice!” Gonta remarks, standing closer to the door, some of his belongings still in his hands, as though he’s only just arrived at the classroom himself.
Tsumugi coos a little, peeking out from behind Gonta’s shoulder. “Awww, you and Akamatsu-san match, look! That’s cute!”
“Saihara-san does not match Kaede! There’s no way Kaede would match with a degenerate!” Tenko cries in indignation. She loses some of it, though, as she fixes Shuichi with a thoughtful pair of eyes. “Though… it’s good, that Saihara-san isn’t hiding anymore.”
Shuichi had been expecting Kaede to be one of the first people to remark, which is why it sort of surprises him that he doesn’t hear her voice over the din. Upon glancing around the classroom, though, he finds that Kaede isn’t actually here yet, which isn’t so unusual for her, actually. She has an atrocious sleep schedule, mainly because she can’t sleep without playing the piano first, and since her dorm room isn’t large enough to fit a whole piano, that results in her having to trek across the courtyard nightly if she wants to get some playing in.
She… also probably has insomnia, but Shuichi isn’t a doctor, so he’ll just go with the piano thing for now. Regardless, he’s lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck, about to ask if she’s going to be here today, when there’s a loud squeal behind him, and a pair of hands grasps his arms, spinning him around.
“Saihara-kun, you took off the hat!” Speak of the devil, Kaede’s full to bursting with excitement, her eyes wide and shiny under the yellowed classroom lights. “Oh, you look so good! Your eyes are so pretty! I always thought you’d look super handsome without it!”
Shuichi’s face turns a colour that can only be described as sunburnt white tourist on a tropical vacation, but before he can tell Kaede that it really isn’t that much of a big deal, she pulls him into a tight embrace, and his heart does somersaults.
He doesn’t really have feelings for her anymore, exactly. It’s not like she did anything to make him stop crushing on her, it’s just that Shuichi developed a crush on Kaede back when she was holding his hand and encouraging him, comforting him about the outcome of that case. Which was… nice, and he needed it, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to repay her for what she did for him, but it got to a point where he wasn’t really seeing Kaede, he was just seeing… the pretty girl who held his hand once.
Still, being hugged by anyone much less a girl as easy on the eyes as Kaede is enough to make Shuichi feel like he’s going to burst. He lifts his hands to reciprocate the embrace, hooking his chin over her shoulder and breathing in the smell of her honeysuckle shampoo. “Thank you,” he says, his voice lowered enough so that only she can hear it. “Um… it’s just a hat. But I don’t think I could’ve taken it off if it wasn’t for you.”
When Kaede pulls back, there’s a big and watery smile on her face. She wipes one of her eyes. “Don’t talk like that! You would’ve. Helping each other is just what friends are for, right?” She nudges Shuichi’s shoulder with her own, and he laughs, nodding his head.
“Sorry to make you cry, I didn’t mean to,” he apologises, but Kaede shakes her head.
“Don’t worry about it! They’re good tears. Like, really good tears. Like, really super good tears.”
“You’re rambling, Akamatsu,” Maki says, helpfully, from behind Kaede. Kaede nods, squeezing Shuichi’s arm again before she moves past him into the classroom, and Maki stops in the doorway, red eyes scrutinising. “You’d think you won a Nobel Peace Prize or something, the way they’re acting.”
Shuichi chuckles. “Good morning, Harukawa-san.”
“Hi,” Maki sighs. She offers Shuichi a small half-grin, her lip quirked at one edge. “You do look better without it.”
With that, she follows Kaede into the classroom, and Shuichi moves to do the same, but he stops for a moment, looking up at Kaito. He’s been oddly silent throughout this whole exchange, staring at Shuichi with an indiscernible look look in his eyes.
“Um…” Geez, that’s awkward. “Momota-kun, are you alright?”
“Huh?” Kaito blinks. “Oh, yeah, I’m good, sidekick! No worries. I just didn’t notice you weren’t wearing it.” He claps Shuichi’s shoulder and squeezes, his hand warm and steady, and butterfly wings flutter on the inside of Shuichi’s stomach. “You look good! It’s nice that I can see your eyes now, y’know? They’ve got this colour to them, like…” He trails off for a moment. “Water? I dunno. Anyways, you look so much more assertive now!” He grins. “Keep it up, okay? I’m really proud of you.”
The last sentence sort of knocks any possible responses Shuichi could’ve mustered right out of his mind, and he swallows thickly, staring up at Kaito for another long moment. He’s so… effortlessly kind and encouraging, and he’s there for Shuichi, without ever asking for anything in return, and for a moment Shuichi wants to grab Kaito’s hand with both of his and say, You know it’s not just Akamatsu-san, right? I couldn’t have done this without you, either.
But…
“Thank you, Momota-kun,” Shuichi says, very quietly, and Kaito grins, ruffling his hair before he turns to head into the classroom. Shuichi fixes his hair with an indignant huff, jutting out his lower lip, and gives a quick shake of his head before he follows after.