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The door slammed, rattling not only the royal apartment but probably the entirety of Enbarr Palace. Edelgard’s pencil slipped and she ended up with a black line through her careful sketch of Grizelda. Grizelda herself shot under Edelgard’s armchair with a startled mewl.
“Ferdinand!” she yelled. “I’ve said it a million times, please can you not slam the door!”
“Pardon?”
He strode into the room with his coat half off and his hair falling out of its braid.
“The door! One of these days it’ll fall straight off its hinges!”
“Oh. Yes, dear.”
Edelgard rolled her eyes at the endearment, but stood up to greet him anyway. “Come here,” she said. She unpeeled his coat and dashed it to the floor. Then stood on tiptoes to attempt to right his hair. Ferdinand stopped her with a kiss. She let it linger.
“You have missed me,” Ferdinand said, chest puffed out and boastful.
“Grizelda has not,” she said. “I might have to get Hubert to fetch her out from under the chair again.”
Ferdinand bristled. “I can get her out.”
Edelgard rather hoped he’d say that. She spent the next few minutes watching Ferdinand attempt to sweet talk her shyest cat from under the chair. He promised a ball of string, unlimited chin scratches and a tin of sardines from the kitchen with the same earnest he brought to cabinet meetings.
The sardines sealed the deal. Soon their lounge smelt of fish, which Grizelda snatched from Ferdinand’s fingers before making a hasty retreat to the top of Edelgard’s armchair. There she kept a careful eye on him in case he made any sudden movements. Edelgard laughed into her hand.
“I do not understand. Animals usually love me,” Ferdinand grumbled. “She seems to think I am some sort of kitten murderer.”
Grizelda finished her meal and made a run for it, paws skittering over the finely woven carpet.
“I hope you do not attempt to bribe the ministers with sardines.”
“I do not need to resort to bribery with ministers. I need only my wit, charm and persuasive talents.”
“I will concede you can be very persuasive, at least.”
“I charmed you into marrying me, did I not?”
"That you did. Fool that I am."
Ferdinand pouted. She kissed it better. The idea of kissing Ferdinand had once seemed ludicrous. But now it was easy as taking her next breath. His hands rested on her shoulders. Ferdinand worried about how rough they were from years of lancework, but she loved the scrape of his fingers against her skin. The evidence of his dedication to her and to the Empire they were building together.
"I spoke with the Albineans today," said Ferdinand, which was not at all what Edelgard wanted to think about. Sometimes his inability to read her mood could be downright maddening.
"Did you?"
She began to tug the knot from his cravat. Ferdinand talked on.
"Yes. They told me of a strange custom they have. It's called 'tea duelling'. I think we should host a tournament. It would demonstrate an interest in Albinean culture and be good for diplomatic relations."
Edelgard tossed the cravat and started working on the buttons of his vest.
"Your thoughts, Edelgard?"
"Whatever you think is best."
"I have not even explained -"
Edelgard silenced him with a greedy kiss to his throat. His pulse sped up beneath her lips and she smiled against his skin.
"Less talking, more ravishing," she ordered.
Ferdinand's eyes darkened. He loved a challenge and Edelgard was more than happy to give him one. She wound her fingers into gorgeous hair and held on tight.
***
“Your Majesty.”
Edelgard looked up from her letters. Hubert bowed politely, but she could tell by the set of his jaw he was irritated. It wasn’t difficult to guess what - or who - was the cause. Most of Hubert’s complaints followed a similar pattern.
“Hello, Hubert. What has our Prime Minister done now?”
“He and the Albinean ambassador want the staff and press to attend some sort of...ceremony...in the Evening Room. They’re rearranging all the furniture.”
Edelgard sat back in her chair. “He did not mention such a thing to me. Come, let us go and find out what he’s up to.”
What Ferdinand was up to involved dragging about a hundred mismatched chairs into a theatre arrangement. At the front sat a table set with tea for two with a large teapot and a tray of Albinean-made sweet biscuits.
The Albinean ambassador, a portly man with an unfortunate mustache, bowed upon seeing her. “Your Majesty! Thank you very much for letting the Prime Minister agree to host this tournament. I think you’ll enjoy it very much.”
Ferdinand beamed from where he was adjusting the seating.
“...I must confess I am not sure what it is I have agreed to.”
Her husband’s face fell. “Edelgard! The tea duelling! I told you about it last night.”
Edelgard scrunched her face up. He had mentioned something about duelling but she assumed it would be outside with lances or axes. She’d been too...distracted...to ask for further details.
“What is a tea duel?”
“Ah! Let us have a practice bout to demonstrate!” proclaimed the Ambassador.
“Perhaps Her Majesty will allow me?” asked Hubert. The best way to appease his mood would be to let him serve her.
“Thank you, Hubert. If you would.”
The Ambassador had Hubert sit at the tea table opposite Ferdinand. He proclaimed his role was to be the Tiffin Master and he poured them both a cup of tea from the teapot. Hubert scrunched up his nose. Ferdinand had tried and tried to find a tea he liked instead of tolerated, but to no avail.
"Now, take a biscuit from the tray. On the count of three, dip it in the tea."
Ferdinand caught Edelgard's eye and winked at her.
"We will hold the biscuit in the tea for three...two...one seconds. Now withdraw the biscuit! You must eat the whole thing before it crumbles!"
Hubert began to splutter a protest. His biscuit collapsed into soggy crumbs. Ferdinand, already an expert, licked the sugar from his fingers. Edelgard had clearly underestimated his enjoyment of biscuits.
"Aha! The prime minister takes the nom! The duel is his," proclaimed the Ambassador.
“What a ridiculous, undignified game,” said Hubert, staring at the remaining crumbs of his biscuit.
“Hubert! Do not be so rude about the customs of our dear friends!” Ferdinand admonished him. “I am sure there is much about Fodlan that is strange to them as well.”
Luckily, the Albinean ambassador took it on the chin and chuckled. “I am sure it does seem ridiculous to you, young man. But it is something we like to enjoy with our companions. Nothing like a friendly competition.”
Brave of him to address Hubert of all people as 'young man'. Edelgard warmed to the Ambassador. Not enough to waive trade tariffs all together like he wanted, but enough to drop them a percentage point or two.
Hubert gave the Ambassador a dubious look. “There is no skill to this game whatsoever. Any fool could win if they were lucky enough.”
“Fate chooses the winner,” agreed the Ambassador. “It is not so different to life in that way. Will you pick a strong biscuit, able to withstand high temperatures? Or a weak one that will crumble in the breeze? You will not know until you have chosen.”
Edelgard knew exactly what Hubert would think of that idea. She decided to step in before Ferdinand’s face grew any more panicked. Hubert had many gifts. Diplomacy was not one of them.
“What a delightful game! I would gladly participate in the tournament, if you would allow it.”
The ambassador’s face lit up. “Wonderful, Your Majesty! It would be an absolute honour to have you compete.”
Ferdinand smiled. Hubert glared.
"I want all these...confections... tested beforehand," ordered Hubert. "And Ferdinand, if you do not see the furniture returned to its proper place afterwards, I will not be held considerable for my actions."
***
Ferdinand pulled Edelgard aside before the tournament began. To follow tournament etiquette, she’d dressed more casually in a smocked top and leggings with her hair up in a bun. Ferdinand was down to his shirt sleeves, but still wearing a cravat, because he only went without one if he was asleep or having sex with her.
“Are you sure you want to take part?” he asked. “I can see Hubert’s point, it is a rather silly game.”
“You’re going to make a fool of yourself in the name of diplomacy. Why should you bear the burden alone?”
“That is not very encouraging, Edelgard! I am very good at eating biscuits and if I am doing it for the Empire I shall perform even better!”
“I am sure if anyone can win a biscuit-eating tournament while still looking noble, it’s you.”
Ferdinand was pleased enough with her assessment to award her a kiss. Then he pulled away. “Wait. That was a compliment, yes?”
“Yes,” she assured him. “Now, let’s play.”
***
Ferdinand hadn’t brought enough chairs. The room was packed with staff, visiting Albineans and journalists from various newspapers. Hubert loathed the press and corralled them into a tight knot where he could safely glare at them from any point in the room.
There were eight competitors including herself and Ferdinand. The Albinean team included the Ambassador and his wife. Edelgard wondered how she kissed her husband when he had such a mustache and made a mental note to ensure Ferdinand didn’t get any ideas. The rest of their team was made up of the stablemaster and one of the chefs. Edelgard assumed the selection was more careful than it looked. Or maybe Ferdinand just wanted even more reason to natter at the stablemaster.
The matches were drawn using paper from a tophat with great ceremony. Edelgard would play the ambassador’s wife first. Each match would be best of three with the loser knocked out. It wasn’t so different to the combat tournaments at Garreg Mach.
“Your Majesty!” said the ambassador’s wife. “So good of you to join us!”
“It is my pleasure,” she said. “Have you been enjoying your time in Enbarr?”
“Oh, yes! The prime minister arranged a box at the Mittelfrank Opera House last night and it was a wonderful show.”
“Excellent. I like to make sure my guests are looked after.”
“If Jim and I work too closely, it seems to all end in tears. What’s your secret?”
“Ferdinand is...” She paused. Accommodating? Attentive? Articulate? “...Ferdinand. Please excuse me, I am not sure what else to say on the matter.”
She laughed. “Having spent so much time with him, I know exactly what you mean.”
The tea was poured. It smelt absolutely delicious, fragrant and sweet. Ferdinand must have dug out the expensive stuff. Edelgard had grown used to finding teabags sequestered in odd nooks and crannies. None of it labelled, of course.
They were ready.
Edelgard eyed the biscuit. It had a soft texture and the image of a cow scratched into its surface. Presumably it was made with milk? Or perhaps cows meant something else in Albinea?
Edelgard lost her first biscuit. The second time, the ambassador’s wife was slow to dunk in the tea and Edelgard was awarded the point. In the final round, Edelgard actually managed to cram most of the biscuit down before it crumbled away. She wondered if contestants with bigger mouths had an advantage. Then she wondered if she was thinking far too hard. It was just a silly game Ferdinand had set up on a whim in order to butter up their guests.
Still, the crowd seemed to be enjoying it. Her matches were greeted with lots of bowed heads and formal salutes. Ferdinand’s were greeted with cheers and claps. When he won his matches, the room went wild. He was the most popular contestant by far.
Her next game was against the Ambassador. His wife stepped in as Pot Master. She was very official about it and took her time making sure the liquid in the cups was exactly equal.
“Thank you for indulging us, Your Majesty,” he said, bowing respectfully before taking his seat.
“Not at all. It makes for a wonderful distraction.”
She won the game. But she had a sneaking suspicion the Ambassador lost deliberately. Perhaps ‘Emperor wins Tea Duelling Championship’ would make a better headline in Albinea. But. She could think of an even better one.
“So ladies and gentleman - Adrestia takes the tournament! Our final winner will be the emperor or the prime minister! What a match! Here we go!”
Edelgard raised her eyebrows at Ferdinand over the teacups. Usually they took tea in a much more tranquil setting. His face was flushed but he grinned, clearly enjoying himself. He didn’t even seem worried about the scattering of crumbs on his pristine white shirt. They looked out at the crowd together and Edelgard felt another sudden rush of love. She reached out to squeeze his hand. Not even the chorus of ‘aww’s that followed made her regret it.
Three biscuits later, it was all over.
"I...beat you at something," said Ferdinand, completely dumbstruck.
"Indeed. You are well-known for your love of tea, so it is only right the duel is yours."
Ferdinand blinked and Edelgard realised there were tears in his eyes.
"A-apologies. It is just, for much of my youth my dearest wish was to best you in competition."
"Yes, I could hardly forget. I could not go five minutes in your presence without you challenging me."
"I thought beating you beyond the very realms of possibility!"
Edelgard offered him a handkerchief, which he blew his nose into very noisily. It wasn't an uncommon sight. Ferdinand tended to be over-emotional about any number of things. Usually, but not limited to, horses, children and whenever she borrowed costumes from the opera house.
“No tears now! You are a champion!” cried the Ambassador’s wife. She seized Ferdinand’s arm and dragged him in front of the audience. “Ladies and gentlemen of Enbarr Palace! May I present the winner of Enbarr’s inaugural Tea Duelling Championship!”
She raised Ferdinand’s arm to a round of raucous clapping and whooping. Edelgard shook her head, bemused. Her prime minister’s popularity never ceased to astound her. That he could make people buy into such a farcical contest was a sign of his success.
“We are never going to hear the end of this,” Hubert muttered, taking up his habitual position just behind her right shoulder.
“He’s happy, the Albineans are happy. I say we let him enjoy it.”
"I do not understand why you agreed to participate," grumbled Hubert.
"For Ferdinand, of course. He needs to soften the Albineans up for further negotiations. Don't worry. The Empire’s reputation isn’t going to crumble because he beat me at Albinean Tea Duelling."
“Wait. Your Majesty. You did not lose the game on purpose...did you?”
The ambassador’s wife clapped Ferdinand on the back. “We must not forget to thank the Emperor for not only hosting but participating in one of our glorious Albinean traditions!”
Edelgard bowed as the attention and applause turned to her. Without thinking, her eyes found Ferdinand’s. The way he grinned at her made her heart twist. There hadn’t been much reason for her to smile over the course of her life. But now it no longer felt strange to stretch her mouth wide, to let out a laugh.
With Ferdinand by her side, she smiled every single day.