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Moonlight shined in through the window, illuminating spots of dust floating gently through the air. Silence filled the room, broken only by the quiet breathes of those occupying it and the occasional calls of wildlife outside. It was late into the night, long after the members of Franchouchou had retired to bed. Each rested peacefully in their futon, sprawled out in various positions, save for one who’s eyes lingered open
Junko laid awake. Her gaze was fixed upward at the ceiling above her, but she didn’t see it at all. Drowsiness weighed her down tirelessly, but sleep had not yet reached her. In the dark vestiges of the night, she’d begun to find her mind drifting away from her. Perhaps it was the soft veil of her dreams hovering over her that cast her into the comfortable sunken state she was in. Her head fogged over. Her senses left behind the world around her. Her breathing eased as her chest filled with a light, airy sensation. She balanced just at the edge of consciousness and held onto the entrancing feeling that was overtaking her brain. She was thinking of Ai.
Wrapped up snuggly in her blanket, she conjured images of her. She was able to recall what she looked like so clearly down to the smallest details. She saw her eyes, the warm collage of colors that combined to make the rosy shade of red that filled them. She could paint their likeness in her mind, framed by locks of cool dark hair. Somehow it always fell in the loveliest way, sprouting out at odd angles and curling up at the end. When she moved, the yellow flowers that decorated it swayed and fluttered. It made her dancing all the more mesmerizing even in her head. She pictured how she would light up when she performed. As idols, all of them were practiced to smile no matter what. It was part of their character, but for Ai it was genuine. She was never happier than when she was on stage and her presence shined brighter than anyone else’s.
She turned over onto her side, taking her pillow into her arms and unconsciously gripping it tightly. Her heart was thumping away against her chest, but she was too lost in her thoughts to notice. Ai’s voice reverberated through her mind, melodious and smooth. It invited her in any time she spoke and Junko hung off of every word, every whisper, every breath. It wasn’t often she was able to hear it, but she liked it when Ai laughed and she liked it even more when she could be the cause. Sometimes it was enough to send a shiver down her spine. Little, casual contact stole her attention. The echoes of her touch lingered on her skin. She could still feel the ghost of Ai’s fingers slipping between her own, gently pressing them together and pulling her just a bit closer. It always set her nerves at ease. Her thumb stroked the side of her pillow where the back of Ai’s hand might have been. She thought about late nights, driving home from concerts, when Ai might lean her weary body against hers. The weight of her head would rest comfortably on her shoulder. Tips of her hair would tickle against her cheek as she tried to stay still, watching delicate the rise and fall of Ai’s chest. She didn’t recognize the feeling it stirred within her but it was captivating in a curious way and it tempted her at odd times. On their own, away from everyone else, she found herself drawn to her. Subtle, insurmountable attraction lured her closer until the space between them all but disappeared, replaced by a comfortable familiarity. It was innocent, acted on by instinct and without intention, but the attention it earned her only fed her ambition. Junko thought of the sparse times she’d felt Ai’s arms quietly slipped themselves around her. It was a silent, unspoken action, but she remembered the sense of security and reassurance it brought her to be held so dearly. The blanket currently covering her paled in comparison, but her memories kept her warm and burned pleasantly in her chest.
She wondered suddenly, what it might be like to do other things with Ai. Her imagination jumped away from her to a new place she hadn’t been before. She thought about being able to hold Ai’s hand more often without needing an excuse. She thought about walking together, through trails in the park or down sidewalks in town, on their way to small venues they wanted to visit. She imagined how the sunlight might brighten up her hair, pulling out the highlights and making her look even more beautiful. She’d hug Ai’s arm as they went the way that a man and a woman might. She thought about what it would be like to have Ai hold her sincerely like they do, to be embraced or to be nestled under her arm protectively. She fixated on the idea of being Ai’s, of Ai wanting to be with her. It already delighted her to see her smile. She wondered what it would feel like to know she was the reason; that she was enough to make Ai happy. What if the spark that ignited in her when their eyes met flickered in Ai’s chest too and the things that filled her head were on Ai’s mind as well. She imagined Ai wrapping her arms around her waist, setting her hands on her hips, and pulling her in close so they were only centimeters apart. She thought about what it would be like to close that gap and kiss her.
It settled within Junko immediately that was something she wanted. By now her legs had pulled up closer to her as she curled in around her pillow. Her hold on it has grown from a small squeeze to a vice grip and her lungs struggled to keep up with the pace of her breathing. The moment she considered it, she realized that was the kind of relationship she wanted with Ai. She wanted to do the things she saw couples do and she wanted her affection to be reciprocated. Any other night before, she had been content with less, satisfied simply to lay with her memories and enjoy the comfort they gave her. Now, however, her heart has set itself upon a lofty fantasy and it would not allow itself to be moved.
Her first thought afterwards was if it was allowed. She didn’t know who would stop her exactly. Logically speaking, the fact that she was a walking dead was probably the more egregious crime, but it was still a worry that crossed her mind. Junko had never seen two women express affection for each other the way she wanted to with Ai. Even now, she was basing her wishes off of things she’d only observed between men and women. She didn’t know if it were ever possible for her and Ai to have the same kind of relationship they did. As far as she was aware, she was the first girl to try it. She’d heard that there were other people “like that”, but the topic had always been hushed. The impression she was given had never been very flattering. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of being one of them, set apart as someone of a different kind and talked about that way. Part of her almost felt guilty for involving Ai in something so improper and unbefitting of her. Nevertheless, she couldn’t disavow her feelings. Her desires had been made exceptionally clear to her and she couldn’t imagine them being considered wrong or misplaced in any way. Despite unease brewing within her, her ambition remained and her resolve did not waver. Somewhere in the room she heard the rustle of Romero turning over in his sleep. A tepid yawn slipped out of her mouth, forcing her eyes closed and leaving her unable to open them again. She couldn’t say whether or not things could turn out the way she wanted. She wondered if Ai would even be interested in doing something potentially silly with her. But if by chance she were, then there were a few things she would very much like to try. The ends of her thoughts were drifting away from her, vanishing before they could finish. Her alertness faded in and out. She concluded that pursuing Ai would be an endeavor worth risking. Though her head continued to whisper doubts, there was hope hidden within her heart that told her somehow things would turn out alright. That was the voice that she chose to listen to and with that final thought, Junko finally lost her battle against unconsciousness and fell into a deep sleep.
“-nko.”
“Junko?”
“Junko!”
Her eyes snapped forward, bringing her attention back into focus. Her head swiveled around trying to locate the voice’s source and came to find Sakura looking over her with concern. Junko smiled sheepishly before finally responding, “Uh yes, Sakura?”
“I was asking if you wanted any tea while I’m making some.” Sakura clarified with a frown.
Junko relaxed and nodded her head. “That would be lovely. Thank you.”
Her friend continued to linger a moment longer, “Are you doing okay?”
“I think I’m just tired. I had a bit of a difficult time falling asleep last night.” she admitted
“Oh no, really?” Sakura fussed. “In that case, tea is definitely the right call. Let me get you a warm cup to wake you up.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Junko replied as Sakura turned the corner into the kitchen, leaving her alone in the living room. She took a deep breath and relaxed. Her attention was once again pulled to the window beside her. Her head returned to its perch upon hand leaning against the armrest of the sofa she lounged in. It was still early in the morning. The last notes of sunrise were fading into pink streaks in the sky and once long shadows lost their size. The futons had been cleared from the floor as everyone set about their daily routines.
Her eyes followed the path of a stray flower petal caught sailing through the wind. It turned and fluttered as it fell before picking back up and floating ever further away. Even when its destination seemed certain, turbulence would intervene and send it off on some other unknown course. She never truly knew where it would land, only that it was surely going to meet the ground eventually. It was just a question of how long it would stay up in the air.
Sakura returned from the kitchen and this time Junko noticed. She graciously took the drink from her hands with another “Thank you” and took a sip.
“Don’t worry about it.” Her groupmate took a seat on the couch next to her. “How is it?”
“Hm, it’s perfect.” Despite her drowsiness, the liquid did help to stimulate her senses a bit. It didn’t shake off all of her fatigue, but in the least it was warm and comforting.
Sakura nodded contently, closing her eyes and lifting her own cup to her mouth, “That’s good to hear.”
Junko’s gaze flickered between the window and Sakura before deciding to watch Sakura curiously. After a moment, she broke their comfortable silence and asked, “Sakura, how do people go about courting someone these days?”
Sakura’s eyes widened from behind her mug. Carefully, she finished drinking before lowering it and smiling politely. “Um well, dating is pretty common. People will talk over the phone or send messages to each other. I guess there’s usually a confession and then if the other person feels the same, you’re in a relationship and you go to places like an amusement park or a cafe together.” Regretfully, she didn’t have much experience in the matter so she didn’t feel like an authority, but she provided the best explanation she could.
Junko listened attentively, seeming to consider each word carefully. Sakura couldn’t help but eye her suspiciously, but tried to keep up appearances. “Could I maybe ask what brings the topic up?”
The older girl broke eye contact, suddenly very interested in the contents of her tea. “I think I would like to court Ai.” she said decisively.
“Oh.” Sakura once again had to swallow her surprise in order to remain considerate. “That’s great!” she cheered.
“Is it?” Junko asked with interest. She may not believe there was anything wrong with her feelings for Ai, but she hadn’t expected anyone else to think so as well.
“Yeah!” Sakura encouraged, sensing her need for it. “I mean, you and Ai have always been really close. Things are pretty cuddly between you. I think most of us assumed you two were dating already, or if not then you would be soon. Even the fans have taken notice”
She regarded Sakura with wariness “That’s different.” she pushed back. “I didn’t pursue her actively. I just enjoyed being in her company and if we happened to come together physically, then I’d enjoy that too. What I have in mind now is a bit more… intimate.” she confessed, thinking Sakura had perhaps misunderstood her.
“That’s okay.” Sakura assured her without missing a beat. “Any of us would be happy to see you in a relationship, Junko, especially if that’s what makes you happy.”
Her friend’s words gave her pause. They were in stark contrast to the outlook she’d been viewing herself through thus far. She almost didn’t know how to take such unconditional support. She even refers to it as a relationship, like it was of equal merit... “Thank you.” she finally managed to say.
“Of course.” Sakura made a mental note to show Junko some queer shows later on. Maybe she could find a gay bar that allowed minors. The newly out girl could probably do with the exposure, but right now they were talking about something else. “You know, the fact that Ai has gone along with you this far probably means something. She’s always singing your praises and you two seem like you’ve been through a lot together. I wouldn’t be surprised if she shared your feelings.”
Junko tucked her legs beneath her and set her mug down in her lap. “I’m not so sure. Neither of us has ever really said anything to the other. Things between us simply come to be without any acknowledgement and go unspoken afterwards. I wouldn’t know what she thinks about it, nor would I want to implicate her in anything.”
Now Sakura had to laugh to herself a bit, quietly enough that Junko didn’t notice of course. “I don’t think Ai would be spending so much time with you if she didn’t want to and she wouldn’t have participated in all the hand holding and hugging if she didn’t feel the same way. It is Ai we’re talking about. She’s not exactly the type to humor people just to be nice.”
Uncertainty made Junko want to disagree but she couldn’t quite find an argument to do so.
“It seems clear to me that you’re both very interested in each other. One of you just needs to be brave and make their feelings known.”
“Maybe…” She wasn’t entirely convinced, but the possibility made Junko’s heart buzz with excitement. It didn’t take long for that hopefulness to win out over any hesitancy she still had. She thought back to her daydreaming from last night and felt the same push forward she did then. If there’s something you really want, smash through all the obstacles in your way and take it. And there was certainly something she wanted right now. At the very least, she didn’t think Ai would let her down too harshly.
With new found resolve, she switched tracks and asked Sakura, “How should I do it?”
Her poor conversation partner hadn’t expected her advice to work so well. She was momentarily at a loss for an answer. “Uh, how about a confession?”
Junko nodded, brimming with newfound determination. She set her cup of tea to the side and stood up from her seat quickly. Her hands were clenched into fists in front of her and her eyes had a fire lit within them. “Then I’ll go and speak with her right now and ask her if she would be my partner.”
“Right now?” Sakura questioned
“Yes, right now.” There wasn’t room for debate in her words. “Do you know where Ai is?”
“Oh uh,” Sakura stalled to think. “Actually, I haven’t seen her this morning.”
“You haven’t?” Junko’s enthusiasm fell a bit.
“No. Hm, that’s odd. Isn’t she usually back from her morning run by now?”
Just then the two romantic strategists were joined by another of their house mates. Fresh from the shower and changed into clean clothes came Saki to deposit her sleepwear onto her futon. She looked between the room’s occupants curiously. “Hey, what’s going on in here?” Surely, she wasn’t being left out of anything fun. That would be inexcusable.
Sakura looked to her for help. “Saki, have you seen Ai at all today?”
“Yeah.”
Junko perked back up immediately.
“I saw her leave way earlier. She said she had an errand to run.”
And she deflated back into her chair with a whimper.
“Why? Is she in trouble or something?”
“Er, no. It’s just that Junko had wanted to talk to her about something.” Sakura put it as subtly as she could. Although, it only took one look at Junko’s heartbroken disappointment for Saki to guess what that something was.
“Ooooh.” Saki said before Sakura elbowed her in the side. “But i-it’s okay though! I’m sure she just had something quick to take care of and she’ll be home before you know it.”
“You don’t think she’s avoiding me, do you?” Junko asked nervously.
“No!” Sakura called out. “No, no, no, no, no. She definitely isn’t doing anything like that.”
“But what if I’ve made her uncomfortable? Or what if she doesn’t want to see me...”
“If Ai was ever uncomfortable I don’t think she’d hesitate to say so.” Saki argued
“What if she doesn’t come back?”
Sakura hopped off of the couch to sit on the armrest of Junko’s chair and put an arm around her. “Don’t be silly. Why wouldn’t she come back?”
“Hey, it’s alright.” Saki backed her up. “Ai will probably be back soon.”
Junko hugged her knees close to her chest and grumbled. Logically, she understood that they were right, but “probably” wasn’t good enough for her. It was hard not to be discouraged. She was a sensitive girl after all and right now her emotions were running unchecked. Despite her friend’s attempts to placate her, she couldn’t help but let her worries get the best of her When she did finally see the distant figure of someone approaching the house, her heart leapt into her throat. By the way she pushed past those around her and rushed to the front door, you’d think she’d been waiting for years instead of half a day. The other two could only look at each other knowingly, both mentally wishing Ai the best of luck.
Ai stood by their front gate with her back to the house, parking her scooter and propping it up on its kickstand. She removed her helmet and set it on the seat before moving to handle something in her backpack. It would only be a short time until she came inside, but instead Junko walked out impatiently to meet her. Her rushed steps were muffled by the grass as she closed the distance between them. It wasn’t until Ai turned around and began heading towards home that she noticed Junko approaching. Their eyes met and Junko felt a torrent of butterflies swarm into her stomach. Anxious excitement came over her as the gravity of things finally sunk into her, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t even pause. If anything, she quickened her pace. Ai hardly had time to react to her coming before Junko was there. The younger girl fidgeted in place awkwardly and put a hand behind her back, unsure what to do.
Junko came to a stop just in front of her. It occurred to her then that she hadn’t actually considered what to say at this point, but it didn’t matter. She had a lot of thoughts that had been building inside her head, day and night, waiting to finally get out. “Ai, I think you’re beautiful.” she started. “You’re one of the most talented performers I’ve ever seen and you’re so dedicated to it that you make me want to work harder just by watching you.” She spoke with passionate conviction, as if she’d been dying to admit it for a long time. ”You’re charming and confident and dependable. I’m excited just to see you and I’m always at ease when you’re around. The time we spend together means so much to me. You’re special to me in a way that nobody else is. I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but I want to keep feeling the way that I do. I want to have you all to myself and I want even more of a relationship with you.” She paused to take a breath, suddenly finding herself out of it. Recomposing herself, she managed to speak one last thought out loud. Timidly and with crushing sincerity, she asked, “I was wondering if you might be interested in being my partner, as in… becoming a couple?”
Ai stared back at her wide-eyed. Her surprise was clear on her face. She opened her mouth to speak but found herself at a loss for words. So instead she gave her answer by slowly taking her hand out from behind her back and pulling out a bouquet of flowers. It was a modest size, wrapped up in brown paper, and tied up with ribbon. Touches of green sprouted out between a collage of blue and white flowers. Her eyes fell to the side as she held it in front of her gently and spoke meekly, “I uh, I didn’t know how things were usually done back in your day...” She raised her gaze to meet Junko’s and gave a lopsided smile. “But I thought it would be best to do something traditional.”
Junko took the gift cautiously, looking over it with utter bewilderment. Ai put a hand to the side of her neck anxiously and cleared her throat. “We’ve been getting a lot closer of late and it’s been kind of nice. I really enjoy being around you and I was guessing that you might have felt the same, so I thought we could maybe take the next step with things and be more than friends?” Her speech was a fair bit more practiced. It was evident she meant to put her best effort into it. “I like you a lot, Junko. I think you’re kind and caring. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you and I don’t know what I would do without your support. You're passionate. You feel everything so strongly and you’re brave. No matter how scared you are, you always push forward. Not to mention how adorable and stunning and just amazing you are all around.” Ai softened her eyes. She was incredibly nervous, but thankfully it didn’t come through at all. She was as skilled of a performer as Junko gave her credit for. “There’s nothing that would make me happier than to be the one to make you happy. So I wanted to know, would you be my girlfriend?”
Junko looked between her and the flowers in astonishment. For the first time in a while, her mind was blank. Her thoughts were silent. Nothing crossed through her head. Rather, all of the emotions she’d been dealing with had relocated to her chest and it bloomed with joy. “Yes.” she breathed. The shock was still apparent in her voice, but she answered quickly, eager to accept the offer before she even finished processing it. “I would love to.”
She watched Ai light up as the same delight blossomed in her. “Then it’s a yes for me too.
Junko’s heart was moved before, but now it exploded. Her blood pumped exhilaration through her entire body until she was full to the brim. Reality finally hit her and she was absolutely thrilled. Her happiness demanded to be expressed and so, overcome with elation, she stepped forward to place a kiss on her new partner’s cheek. It was quick, too fast to be felt, and she almost missed her mark, but she was proud nonetheless. “Th-that’s something couples do, right?” she asked shyly. Although, not even her nerves could break the smile plastered on her face.
It took Ai a moment to get her heart to start beating again. “Uh y-yeah. It is.” Her eyes flickered to the side. She tried her best to keep up a cool exterior, but couldn’t fight the bashful grin forcing itself upon her. “And we can do stuff like that now too…”
They stood there for a bit, content to simply enjoy each other’s company and bask in their success. Wordlessly, they exchanged the most loving gaze; neither daring to even blink. They stared at each other so long their cheeks began to hurt and they might have stayed like that forever if it hadn’t been for the abrupt sound of a whistle breaking up the moment. Junko and Ai looked behind them to see Sakura and Saki standing in front of the house. The first was clapping gleefully and cheering them on like a seasoned fangirl. The latter continued to wolf whistle loudly while throwing them a thumbs-up.
Junko blushed to herself.
“Have they just been watching the whole time?” Ai commented with irritation. Junko looked back at her and had to laugh at the disgruntled look she was giving them. Still, she remembered all the support they had given her this morning. She didn’t want Ai to give them too much of a hard time. It was as much their victory as it was hers and it meant a lot to her to have their friends celebrating alongside her.
She took Ai’s hand into hers, just the way she always wanted to, and pulled her along towards the house. She wanted to put her flowers in a vase and she wanted to show off her new girlfriend.
Evening came and gathered the remainder of Franchouchou’s cast together. Scattered conversations chattered on in upbeat tones around the room as the day winded down to an end. In the dimness of the lights, Junko reclined on the couch amongst her friends. She held onto one of her ponytails, carefully weaving it into a braid without looking at her work at all. Instead, her attention was transfixed on the same bouquet of flowers she’d been staring at all day. Now housed in a clear vase and trimmed with the utmost care to a healthy length, the gift sat next to her on a small end table. She studied every petal and drop of dew like it was the face of a lover and sighed to herself contentedly.
“You really like those, huh?” came a familiar voice. Junko’s heart jumped for the umpteenth time that day as Ai approached from the side. Dressed in her evening wear, the younger girl leaned over the back of the couch with crossed arms and peered down at her fondly.
It was true. Since receiving the flowers, she’d hardly looked away from them at all. After putting them on display, Junko had enthusiastically informed everyone who acknowledged them that Ai had gotten them for her; sometimes she did so more than once simply because she liked to say it. Even better, every one she talked to had been happy for her and even let her ramble on for as long as she wished. Their family was very kind. “Of course, they remind me of you.” she replied cheerfully.
Ai laughed to herself clumsily and looked away to preserve her dignity. Meanwhile, Junko continued to stare up at her with nothing but pure adoration as if she didn’t realize what she’d just said. Ai thought the girl's sincerity might just end up killing her again someday, but tried to press on with composure “Right well, I’m glad you like them. I thought they’d be a good fit for… us, I guess.” Ahh, this was starting to sound lame… “Anyways,” she moved on quickly. “It’s getting kind of late so I was going to head to bed for the night.” She nodded her head towards her laid out futon.
“Oh, that sounds like a good idea. I think I’ll do the same soon as well.” Junko finished her braid and brushed her ponytail behind her shoulder.
“Y-yeah.” Ai answered awkwardly. Despite seeming not to have anything else to say, she lingered in place uneasily. Her body fidgeted nervously as if considering something of great importance.
Junko just watched her curiously until she suddenly seemed to find her nerve. “So, uh” she muttered before cautiously bending down and planting a kiss on Junko’s cheek. It was careful and delicate, less rushed than Junko’s and thus able to be enjoyed for longer. Even still, it was somehow still over far too soon. Ai retreated and quietly bid her, “Good night, Junko. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She threw a small wave over her shoulder as she fled the scene, making her way towards her bed with a satisfied smile.
Junko watched as she turned away, only to be immediately accosted by Saki scrutinizing her with a mischievous grin. She saw their troublesome friend whisper something smug, causing Ai to descend into irritated and embarrassed bickering, but she wasn’t able to catch what was being said. She was far too preoccupied reeling from the kiss she’d just been given. She felt her face flush and unconsciously held a hand to her cheek. Then she burst into a wide grin, somehow even larger than any other smile she’d given that day. Her chest tightened excitedly. If she weren’t in front of other people, she might scream and dance around the room until she ran out of breath! Instead she simply hugged her midsection tightly and giggled to herself girlishly.
She didn’t know that she could be so happy. An entire new world had truly opened up to her and she was excited about the possibilities. What’s more, she had the most amazing partner to accompany her along the way. She had a girlfriend! Ai was her girlfriend! She couldn’t say how things would turn out exactly, but the hope within her heart told her that some very exciting things were about to happen. In either case, she was at least sure that she would be able to have pleasant dreams tonight.