Chapter Text
It is quite interesting how obsessed with something someone can be, especially when they are younger. It can be a show on TV or a stupidly obscure book that a few hundred people are able to make lifelong friends through. No matter what it is, someone may find comfort in the story and comradery in people who also enjoy the same media. Obscure fandom or very large, many people can become obsessed.
Sometimes this sort of group obsession can turn into large scale fads and that grows to a point where people refuse to be a part of the fandom simply because other members, in their opinion, are irritating. Either that or they were never interested to begin with because it simply wasn’t something that caught their attention.
And yet, it seems that no matter how much someone may try to stay away and remain uninterested in something everyone else was obsessed over, sometimes they’ll still get roped in whether they wanted to or not.
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Erwin wondered now, why was the group so dang popular? It seemed that it was all anyone was talking about nowadays and he just couldn’t understand all the hype and hullabaloo. To him it seemed like they were just an average musical group that seemed to attract young adults for the most part, they weren’t anything unlike My Chemical Romance or Twenty One Pilots.
Unlike most musical groups that caught on like this however, this new group seemed to have a sort of theme where the members had faceless personas on stage and no one knew a thing about their private lives or what their facial features even looked like. But even with this unique aspect of the group, Erwin frequently wondered, was there really anything special about them that made them stand out from others that were just like them?
Not only was it the personas that the group put up that caught on with lots of people, it also was the kind of music they produced. Sure it wasn’t anything too special in the opinions of most but it still managed to captivate so many people. Many said that they felt a strong message conveyed through the music and that they could relate on a completely different level than the music from other music groups. It seemed the general consensus was that there was something in the singer’s voice and how he was able to convey so much emotion when he sang that drew people to their music.
The name and branding the group chose for themselves was also quite odd and unique compared to other typical musical groups. All three members wore fancy looking black suits with bandages wrapped around their faces to conceal their true identities. The drummer wore his suit jacket over a simple white shirt, the guitarist wore theirs over a vest, and the singer buttoned up his jacket and also wore a tie. It seemed their wardrobe and branding was all around them being faceless figures producing music; potentially a commentary on the industry as a whole. Whoever they really were, they didn’t want the constant attention from fans and the media. They wanted to make music and put on concerts but still wanted the privacy and comfort of a normal life. Many thought it was a genius move for branding because people understood the want for privacy, because the concept was relatively new, and because successfully concealing your true identity in such a public landscape is extremely difficult.
And that concept of being faceless unidentifiable figures was especially conveyed via their name they collectively went by…
No Name
The privacy the group wanted came with the fact that people of course, didn’t know their real names, they had No Name , all of them. Instead, each member simply went by a single letter for the sake of giving people something to refer to them as in interviews and articles. The drummer was known as ‘M’, the guitarist as ‘H’, and the singer as ‘L’. There was speculation around what those letters specifically represented, the names of someone they cared about or collectively maybe an acronym for something. However the general consensus among most fans was the letters were the first ones of whatever their real names were.
Erwin never really latched onto the group. They gained their relevance around the time he was in his mid to late twenties so he was pretty much out of their typical fan demographic. That and Erwin wasn’t really into the style of music the group produced. Most of the time he would rather simply sit back and listen to classical music that was calm and relaxing since that style helped him to focus on his work. However it seemed that a decent amount of his friends and coworkers did take a liking to their music so Erwin still found himself listening to No Name anyways. But he still couldn’t get attached no matter how much he tried, it just wasn’t for him and he tried to avoid their music as much as he humanly could.
What didn’t help Erwin’s attempt to avoid the music was the fact that he was a history teacher in a high school, the exact age demographic of those who most often listen to No Name. The students are always chattering about their interests and a large portion of Erwin’s students loved listening to their music. Everytime a new song or album dropped in the market, Erwin would know about it the very next day because most of his students would talk about how much they loved the new songs or how they listened to a specific song around fifty times. Erwin never seemed to catch a break.
“Mr. Smith, have you heard of No Name?”
“Mr. Smith, I think you’d really like this song!”
“Mr. Smith, this one reminded me of how you helped me study for that exam.”
And yet while it was super annoying to hear about it so often, Erwin still enjoyed hearing his students talk about No Name. It was endearing to see young people find something they’re passionate about and want to talk about it. It reminded him of his younger years when he was excited about a new book or video game. Even if constantly hearing about No Name personally annoyed Erwin, he still loved that his students were passionate about them.
Now on yet another Monday morning, Erwin sat at his desk as students filtered into the classroom and unintentionally began to tune into the conversations he could hear from person to person. There was a range of topics being discussed but of course, Erwin managed to pick up on some relating to No Name.
The bell rang to signal the beginning of the school day and all students scrambled to their desks to make sure they weren’t counted late. Erwin stood up and walked to the center front of the room and smiled widely.
“Good morning everyone,” he said cheerfully.
“Good morning Mr. Smith!” The students chimed in unison.
“I hope you all had a good weekend and are excited about yet another week of school,” Erwin continued,” as we usually do on mondays, why don’t we go around the room and share what we did this weekend and of course you don’t have to share if you’re not comfortable.”
Every Monday morning, Erwin always asked his students to share something they did that weekend. As a teacher, he always strove to make connections with his students so they not only felt comfortable in his class, but also so they weren’t afraid to come to him directly if they needed help with an assignment. Making connections was always one of Erwin’s favorite parts of teaching so he strove to do so in any way he could.
One student who sat in the front row, two seats over from where Erwin’s desk was located raised his hand. His unkempt brown hair had clearly not been brushed that morning and based on the way his shirt was on backwards, Erwin ventured to guess that the boy had overslept that morning and gotten ready in a flash.
“Yes Eren?”
Eren. That was a name Erwin knew all too well.
Erwin and Eren, as well as quite a few of his other students he had this year, had met once before in a lifetime that had taken place many many years ago. The world they had all lived in was one of near constant bloodshed and terror, everyone feared that they would lose their lives almost every single day due to the threat of the titans.
Titans were large, man-eating creatures that feasted on humans any chance they were given and could range in height anywhere from ten to fifteen meters tall and managed to push what was thought to be the rest of humanity behind three ginormous, fifty meter high walls. No one really knew how the walls were erected or where the titans came from but those thoughts didn’t matter to most people as long as they were able to stay alive and well.
However there is always an exception to every rule and Erwin happened to be one of those exceptions.
Within the walls of this world, there was a military that consisted of four different branches. There were the Cadets, the Garrison, the Military Police, and the Survey Corps. Each branch of the military had its own purpose and the Survey Corps was unique. This branch consisted of the only people brave enough to venture outside of the safety of the walls and to explore the outside world. Erwin was one of these people.
Erwin had been the commander of the Survey Corps before he passed and while he was widely scrutinized, he was also widely praised and regarded as the hope for Humanity. As commander, he found new ways and constructed new plans to reduce the number of deaths the Survey Corps faced during every expedition they took beyond the walls. Compared to the others before him, his ideas were innovative and gave people hope that someday, they would see what was beyond the walls and vanquish the titans forever.
But for Erwin, what gave him hope wasn’t the praise he received or even the position he held as commander. No, what gave him hope was a person and they were someone he loved very much. The only problem was that Erwin didn’t know where he was and among everyone he’d met after being reborn, he seemed to be the only one who remembered a single thing.
Throughout his lifetime in this new world, Erwin had met so many people he remembered from before. He’d met his childhood friend Nile in sixth grade and the two were just as close as they had been in their previous lives.
Erwin had been born with his memories and had nightmares of them nearly every night. He only ever told his father who told them that they were just dreams and nothing to worry about; but Erwin knew otherwise. The dreams were simply too realistic and vivid to simply just be dreams. He could feel the panic, the fear, the pain, it was all so real, too real. They had to be memories.
After Erwin got to know Nile again, he figured he would bring up his memories in conversation to see if he remembered as well. But when Erwin did, Nile was confused and asked what the boy was talking about. Erwin tried to clarify but Nile just shook his head.
“You’re crazy man. Like your father told you, they’re probably just dreams,” he had said.
Erwin was incredibly disheartened because he knew he was right, he KNEW the ‘dreams’ were memories. But he just conceded and stopped talking about them because he didn’t want to bother anyone else or have them think that he was crazy.
The feelings Erwin felt stayed locked away inside his soul and he didn’t tell anyone ever again. He decided that the mockery wasn’t worth it and that he could deal with the horrid memories. Even when he continued to run into people he once knew long ago, he still didn’t say anything. When he ran into Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie, he didn’t say a thing. He just kept quiet and didn’t utter a single word.
Besides, even if he had to keep all of his memories to himself, Erwin was at least able to find comfort and solace knowing that people he once deeply cared for were now finally able to lead quiet, simple lives. They no longer had to worry about Titans invading and eating all of their loved ones nor were they haunted by memories of the past, they were finally at peace.
And yet, there was still some sort of missing within Erwin’s soul, something was missing. Or maybe it was someone…Erwin didn’t know.
“No Name released a new single and I listened to it about fifty times!” Eren said cheerfully.
The classroom became a buzz of “oooh’s” and “me too’s” at Eren’s comment. Erwin rolled his eyes and shook his head but still kept a smile on his face.
“Is that so? Well, I’m glad you enjoy it that much,” Erwin responded,” what made you like it so much? Other than the fact that it’s by No Name?”
“We’ll I think that the lyrics to the song are just…I dunno, amazing! It felt like there was so much emotion, like the singer was pouring his own feelings into his singing. I think it’s their best song by far!”
“I agree. I’ve never been too interested in their other songs but this one makes me feel compelled to actually listen to more of their music,” Marco, another student, commented.
“That’s good to hear. And if I may ask, what’s the name of the song?”
“Midnight Sun,” Eren said.
“Really? That’s actually quite a nice name,” Erwin commented,” I might actually have to listen to it when I have some free time.”
“Haha! We did it!” Connie cheered.
“Mr Smith is finally going to become a No Name fan!” Sasha cheered in response.
Sasha and Connie high fived each other while several other students cheered as well and began to laugh. Erwin rolled his eyes but continued to smile.
These kids sure were a rambunctious group but Erwin cared about them all the same. He always strove to make his students love his class and even if they were a lot to handle, he still deeply cared about every individual. It’s almost like the class was one big twenty person sized family. Erwin wondered if that familiar close bond was because they once knew each other before…
Erwin finally wrapped up the conversation surrounding the new No Name song and moved on to call on other students who wished to share what they did over the weekend. Historia talked about how she’d visited her grandma with her girlfriend Ymir to bake cookies while another student, Jean, talked about how he finally bought a skateboard he’d been eyeing for a few months.
Everyone in the class shared something they had done over the weekend and they eventually finished. Erwin thanked them for sharing, then walked back to the desk to pick up a stack of papers that had taunted the students ever since their arrival. He walked to each individual desk, placing a paper printed with ink on both sides in front of every student. Once he’d finished this task, he sat back down at his own desk to queue up the video he had chosen for them to watch that day, a video about the history of the world after the reign of the Titans came to an end, a video about how the world rebuilt itself after they were nearly wiped out.
“Alright everyone. The sheet I have passed out has questions that follow the topics in the video. The questions go in order and I will pause the video occasionally to make sure you all have the answers. However I still want you to pay attention so please don’t rely only on that to get your answers.”
The usual chorus of ‘okay’s and groans circulated across the group of students to confirm they understood what their teacher had said. Erwin then pressed ‘play’ on the video and then moved to a stack of papers that had taunted him, a stack of recently turned in assignments that he decided to grade to distract himself from the video.
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The click of the lock opening to his apartment was like music to Erwin’s ears, especially after a long day of working. The knowledge that he could take about a half hour long break to decompress before moving to his comfy office chair to make lesson plans or grade papers was something he always looked forward to. The threshold of his home was like a portal to an entirely separate universe where he didn’t have to worry about much of anything.
Erwin’s eyes immediately fell upon his couch when he walked inside and almost as if he was on autopilot, he walked right over to it. He set his school bag down on one end then flopped down onto the other, a sigh of satisfaction escaping from his mouth and his right hand coming to rest atop his forehead.
Work was always stressful even if Erwin set up his lesson plans to be simple and easy. Regardless of the activity he assigned, there was always something he needed to grade and he’d always have to move on to plan a completely different activity almost immediately after. And not every activity could just be a video with a note sheet, sometimes Erwin would have to assign a reading that students would have to respond to with a one page paper minimum because of some stupid eduction standards set by the state. Those assignments were tedious and very annoying to grade.
After returning home most days of the week, Erwin tended to unwind by taking a nap or cooking up a quick snack before watching whatever new and low quality TV show was trending that week on Netflix. But today, he told himself that he felt like doing something different, something he normally wouldn’t do, tired or not. Something had been shouting at him from the back of his mind since the beginning of the day and he decided to satisfy that urge he felt.
Erwin still had absolutely no form of vested interest in No Name or any of their songs but for some odd reason, the new song that they had released that he’d heard of from Eren and his other students earlier that day, the thought of that song and the urge to listen to it was growing stronger and stronger. He was grabbing at the strings of his self control, doing his best not to give in and listen to that song. However Erwin was fighting a losing battle and ended up giving in.
Erwin pulled his phone out of his back pocket and navigated to the YouTube app. He opened up an incognito window as, in the event that he didn’t like the song, he didn’t want his usual recommended feed clogged up by other No Name songs. Once safely behind the wall of incognito, he made his way to the search bar and typed the words “No Name Midnight Sun” before clicking enter.
Several different videos popped up. There were several videos showcasing young people reacting to the song and even a ten hour loop. But the one Erwin was looking for was the first result at the top of the page, the official music video posted on No Name’s official YouTube channel. Erwin sighed and clicked on the video.
Good morning, secret room
Everything welling up now is connected to this as one
Like a vein pulsing from the trunk to the leaf
Who is it that calls me from the blind spot of existence?
If I knock on the door of the future, would I be able to meet you?
Erwin’s attention was grabbed by the way these lyrics were being sung. There was something about the way the singer sang the lyrics that made it sounded like he was so broken, like something was constantly tugging on his soul and he was crying out. It was amazing how well he was able to convey so much emotion with not only the way he sang, but also within the lyrics themselves. It was something Erwin found to be quite incredible.
I’m a mirage in the heat, you’re an afterimage
Like a gentle prayer amidst the city of rubble
Midnight Sun, the stillness, dried tears
The rain shower carries my feelings away
And beforе the present changеs into the past,
I start walking
Erwin thought to himself that the lyrics conveyed a sense of grief. He imagined someone losing a family member or even a close friend to maybe disease, loss of contact, or something completely different. Whatever the true meaning of the song was, Erwin’s mind kept going back to the idea of someone grieving the loss of someone important and wanting more than anything to be by their side once more.
This worn out paper-maché body
But even then if it’s possible I want to be by your side
The world beyond the light trembles
Even if this is just a dream, please reach out to me
As the song continued to play and Erwin continued to listen to the lyrics, thoughts kept entering and swirling around his mind, thoughts of him . That one person that Erwin wished more than anything else that he would eventually meet in this lifetime. But no matter how hard or where he looked, this person never appeared, never showed up. They’d never crossed paths in school, not at work, not in a general crowd, nowhere. It was almost at a point where Erwin thought that they would never again be united, that he would never see Levi again.
Levi...that name rolled off of Erwin’s tongue so easily. In their previous lives, Erwin and Levi had been incredibly close and deeply loved one another. The circumstances under which they had met had been quite difficult and tested the two but over several years, they grew to trust and love each other to a point where eventually, they were outright inseparable.
Erwin loved Levi with his entire heart, soul, and being. Even if he never found the courage to confess his true feelings to the raven haired man, he really did love him and knew Levi likely felt the same way about him. But no matter how much time passed or how hard Erwin looked, Levi just never seemed to be anywhere. Nearly from the moment he began to remember the last life through his dreams, Erwin had been searching for Levi, nearly his entire life. But he was nowhere to be found and Erwin was losing more and more hope every single day that he’d ever find the man he loved so much.
But now as he sat on his couch and listened to this song, Erwin was instilled with a new sense of hope. It was like there was a voice in the back of his mind encouraging him to keep looking for Levi.
In the winds of beyond, who will lead the way?
Open your eyes and hear this song of affection
I’m a mirage in the heat, you’re an afterimage
Like a gentle prayer amidst the city of rubble
Midnight Sun, the stillness, dried tears
The rain shower carries my feelings away
I am limited, within your dreams
Knocking on the door over and over again
Midnight Sun, atonement, body gone cold
The rain shower carries my feelings away
And before the present changes into the past
I start to walk
The song came to a soothing end. Erwin turned off his phone and laid his head back on the couch cushion behind him. He ran through the lyrics to the song in his head, thinking through the meaning of every one.
Open your eyes and hear this song of affection
“A song of affection huh?” Erwin hummed.
Something about that lyric specifically stuck with Erwin more so than any other part of the song. It’s like the singer was trying to grab a specific person’s attention through the song by using lyrics worded a certain way. Maybe he was in a similar situation to Erwin. Maybe he was looking for someone he had lost contact with as well and was using music to try and reach out to that person.
But then all at once, it hit him. The lyrics to the entirety of the song and the way the singer was able to convey so much emotion through his singing, the way he sounded so hurt and broken. The way the lyrics in the song made it sound like someone, maybe even the singer himself, was grieving the loss of someone important and was trying to reach out to them to give them this ‘song of affection’, it all just hit Erwin.
Besides, apart from the lyrics and emotion in the singer’s voice, there was something about the singer’s voice itself that felt extremely familiar to Erwin. Even with the auto tune and added audio effects in the official release of the Midnight Sun song, something screamed familiarity to him, he knew this voice. This feeling that he knew the voice of the singer along with the emotion and song lyrics, it all fell into place in Erwin’s mind and he realized that he knew who the lead singer of No Name was.
“Levi…”