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Yuuji.
The young sorcerer stirred from his sleep, turning to his left to cuddle with a pillow.
More, a ravenous growl said, rousing him to sit up. We need more.
"Sukuna… I'm trying to sleep."
They were supposed to be asleep. Granted, Sukuna didn't actually do anything to help so he wouldn't be exhausted, but Yuuji had a long day. He needed the rest, even if Sukuna didn't; and after what happened earlier Yuuji did not have the patience nor the energy to entertain his demon.
They reached an agreement a while back. Not a pact, just a simple understanding. Ever since they consumed the fourth finger, the lines that made them who they were started to blur. Sukuna waited patiently for this moment, warned Yuuji about it before, and Yuuji dismissed it as a bluff. A means to make him worry about the future and do as the King says to circumvent it; anything to keep his identity separate from the demon. However, the more he consumed, the more he felt their thoughts, their… souls merged.
It terrified Yuuji, much to Sukuna's glee. In his cursed existence where taste was no longer something he could perceive, Yuuji's fear and worries were palatable to the tongue. Sukuna made it so that Yuuji constantly knew who they were now.
"I am you, brat, and you are mine."
People noticed the subtle hints of their merging, even if Yuuji desperately hoped they wouldn't. Nobara noticed first. Then Megumi, the third years, and finally Gojo himself, who anticipated such. As if dismissive about the change in Yuuji, Gojo downplayed it as a natural progression.
Yuuji hid how he really felt about it.
They relied on him to hold himself together, and by extension Sukuna, regardless of how much cursed energy he's absorbed. Yuuji was confident he can control himself and Sukuna's urges in the future, but what concerned him was just how much more of Sukuna's energy can he consume before his individuality is completely wiped out. Yuuji can feel it. He was reaching his limit. They already crossed the point of no return and even if he denied it, he and Sukuna now referred to each other, and thought, as one.
Whenever Sukuna had a snide remark, or an irritable itch towards a sorcerer they talked to, or a curse he found horribly infuriating, Yuuji felt the malice crawl under his skin. It took everything in his power to keep a cool face, but deep down, he wanted nothing more than to act according to Sukuna's whims.
"We could use some reward, brat. One whore on the street won't matter to these sorcerers."
Similarly, Yuuji's thoughts began to affect Sukuna, albeit not as much as the latter's did towards the former. Sukuna simply became much more amiable to deal with. He still couldn't care less about Yuuji's life, but he started to enjoy the same things Yuuji did. Whenever Yuuji had the urge to watch a movie, read a manga, or eat, Sukuna would open up under his eye and bother him. Sukuna never explicitly says what he wants, but Yuuji knows.
They know.
Their dreams had also become a shared space; initially a realm that neither of them can control. Yuuji re-lived happy memories and dreamt of wishful futures. While Sukuna, who had no memories to return to, had dreams born of carnal desires. Nightmarish pornification of Yuuji's fears, or the hidden thoughts that Yuuji refused to acknowledge.
"Such a saint, aren't you? We wouldn't be suffering if you were honest about what you really want."
This went on for days until they found a common ground to continue on with their new relationship. Yuuji could survive just having Sukuna live inside him, but to constantly have his thoughts meld with his own was beginning to tire him out. They needed space from each other, or else Yuuji would break without him realizing.
And so, they reached an agreement; one that Yuuji had to fight thick and thin with against Sukuna. If they had similar urges that Yuuji found agreeable, he would do it for them. Most often than not, that included sleep and food. Sometimes, however, Sukuna disregarded the agreement whenever he felt like it and was very pushy about what he wanted.
We're hungry.
"No. We're not. "
Feed . Us.
An impatient voice that mirrored his and Sukuna's own insisted. Yuuji, still seated upright on the bed, finally threw the mattress off him. "If I feed us, will you shut up?"
Sukuna bristled in his mind, a sign of compromise.
Yuuji tread through the darkness of the dorm rooms. He left his room as silent as he could so as to not disturb Fushiguro next door. He's always been a light sleeper, and Yuuji didn't want to disturb him for a midnight snack. The pantry wasn't that far from the dorm rooms, but Yuuji felt like it was kilometers away. He felt like he was submerged in water and couldn't walk as fast as he wanted.
The moonlight was drowned out by the shadows, and as Yuuji was too busy being frustrated about how slow his body was moving, he failed to notice the blood red moon that reflected gentle waves of crimson around him.
Yuuji opened the fridge and scoured its contents. There were dozens of easy-lock containers with ready-made meals stacked on top of each other in two rows. Under it was a shelf meant only for carton juice and dairy boxes, and ice cold bottles. The vegetables and eggs were neatly organized at the bottom of the fridge.
"Eggs should be fine right? We don't want anything too heavy."
Yuuji squatted down to grab two eggs and a block of cheese while he waited for Sukuna's input, but did not get any even after he put the pan on the fire. It was uncharacteristic of the King of Curses, who usually lorded over him how he wanted his meal prepared, to be this quiet.
"Sukuna?"
No response. Yuuji grumbled, and quickly fixed himself up an omelet. He cracked the eggs on the counter, where the sound of splintering shells echoed far louder than Yuuji was used to. It felt like they were cracking right beside his ear. He let the silence drown out the noise for a moment before continuing.
He silently ate his share of the omelet then saved a portion for Sukuna. They may share thoughts, urges and desires but they don't share a stomach. Sukuna was far too insatiable despite the amount of food Yuuji ate for the both of them.
Tonight however, the King of Curses felt content despite having not eaten a bite of their omelet. After a minute or two of nothing, Yuuji finished their plate and cursed Sukuna. They were definitely going to feel this tomorrow.
As Yuuji slipped back into their bed, he failed to notice the rising crimson water by the foot of his bed and the red that stained his sheets. He fell right back to sleep, with a single thought echoing in his mind.
Not enough.
Yuuji woke up with a headache and a hollowed out feeling from his stomach that he can't quite explain. A weight inside him pulled him down to his knees, unable to move and think of anything else other than wishing for reprieve. He was right about those eggs making them suffer early this morning. "This is all your fault," he hissed towards Sukuna, who still remained silent in their shared thoughts.
He crawled out of bed and reached for painkillers which he kept hidden in the bathroom. They weren't allowed to have them unless prescribed by Ieiri but Yuuji bought one ever since their merging happened. It was a shocking revelation for both of them when it first happened. The scars that Yuuji sustained in their fights in Sukuna's domain started to appear on their skin.
Sukuna relished at the sight of them and refused to heal them, so Yuuji resorted to stealthy managing it by himself. If they knew that other than thoughts, Sukuna was now able to mark Yuuji's body, they'd think he'd lost control of the curse he was supposed to contain.
Two pills didn't really do anything to quell the churning of his stomach and Yuuji begrudgingly changed into his uniform and breathed in. "It'll be gone in a while, just... pretend everything's fine," a sentiment they shared.
As he made his way towards the pantry, Yuuji breathed in the smell of greased oil burning at high temperatures, charring a thin slice of meat. A whiff of salt also lingered in the air which urged Yuuji to follow the alluring, savory aroma.
Sukuna too roused from his silence. Meat was one of the few things Sukuna loved, raw or otherwise. Yuuji could practically see the smoke when he returned to the pantry for the second time that morning, only this time, Fushiguro was by the counter in his loose black shirt and grey sweatpants. His hair was tossed around like cilantro on pasta, clearly having just woken up and he did not bother to fix it up for appearances sake.
Yuuji greedily took in the smell and bumped shoulders with the shadow shoulder. Fushiguro regarded him with half-lidded eyes, still stuck in that morning haze. "Oh… you're awake."
"Later than you, what's got you rising early?" Yuuji settled on a high seat by the counter and patiently waited to be served some of Fushiguro's overcooked bacon. He liked them crispy, and so did everyone else so no one really complained.
"After yesterday's mission I thought I'd do you the favor of cooking breakfast instead."
Yuuji's smile faltered. The mission yesterday… involved creatures Yuuji only thought he'd ever see in movies.
"Fucking zombies." Nobara cursed as she plunged a nail through an undead. "Is nothing original anymore?!"
The second-grade curse spawned in the infectious disease ward of a hospital. It then travelled to the morgue where it preyed upon newly deceased bodies; their blood and organs still ripe enough to be consumed. This curse however, was young. It was sloppy, almost giddy in the way it devoured. It took one bite then moved on.
By the time they got into the hospital, the curse already infected twenty or so bodies, which reanimated themselves from the curses' lingering cursed energy; starved in the same way the second-grade curse was for flesh.
Fushiguro and his shikigami were tasked to rescue as many civilians as possible. Kugisaki backed him up, exploding undead heads with the smack of her hammer and nail. Yuuji, who was the fastest among them, ran after the curse. He managed to corner, but it did not go down without a fight. Young as it was, it was a dangerous infectious curse and Yuuji had to avoid being spat on by its acidic blood saliva.
It reminded him a lot of those cursed womb brothers, particularly the one that Kugisaki killed.
Before Yuuji could deal the finishing blow, the curse took a large chunk off his side. He fought through the pain and slammed a black flashing fist through the curse's torso. Blood splattered across his face as the curse perished, the metal tang of the blood filling his mouth. He spat and wiped the blood off his lips.
Disgusting.
Fushiguro found him then, and Yuuji could only imagine what went on the former's mind back then. "We shouldn't have left you alone."
"We had to save people and exorcise the curse. It was the only way."
Fushiguro frowned. He had already told Yuuji previously that he wasn't a jujutsu sorcerer for some noble cause as saving others. They weren't heroes. He was a sorcerer because he was born as one. He only needed to save those he wanted to save, and at that time, he should've chosen Yuuji over civilians.
Yuuji flicked a finger at his forehead, silently reprimanding him. "I'm alive and well. You don't have to think about it too much, 'kay?"
Fushiguro lowered his gaze and silently fried the bacon, abruptly ending their conversation. Yuuji focused on the sound of air cracking between the oil and meat and savored the image of it in his mind - bones cracking as he held them tightly.
Yuuji bounced off his chair, alarmed by the sudden intrusion of morbid thoughts over a piece of meat. Hungry.
"Sukuna…?"
"'Mornin," Kugisaki walked in with her hair still wet from her morning shower. "What's got you spooked?" Yuuji tried to stammer out an excuse but Kugisaki wasn't as interested as she should be about his well-being compared to the bacon that Fushiguro just placed on the table. "That better be no-fat."
Fushiguro frowned at her, "Why would I cook bacon without fat?"
"It's healthier."
"Why eat bacon if you want to eat healthy?"
Kugisaki shrugged and popped a piece into her mouth. "I dunno, you tell me." She grabbed the seat beside Yuuji and bit another piece in half. The crunch sent a shiver down Yuuji's spine, followed by the image of bones shattering under his hand.
"How's your ribs?"
"Huh? Oh -" Yuuji raised his shirt to show her the perfectly healed patch of skin where the undead curse left its mark. "Like it never happened."
Kugisaki continued to chew on the bacon that dangled between her teeth and patted Yuuji's torso. "You better not turn into a zombie and start eating people."
Fushiguro palmed his face in disbelief, while Yuuji heard Sukuna laugh at the back of his head. What's so funny? He spat at the curse that decided to remain cryptic about what he knew.
"Come on, Kugisaki, t -" he almost fumbled. Yuuji kept a grin on his face to show that he wasn't bothered by that thought. "That only happens in movies."
"Or so we thought! Those bodies turned into flesh eating undead after being bitten and you were bitten."
Yuuji shook his head. "No. No way. I already exorcised the curse, that curse shouldn't be active anymore… right?" he asked, glancing at Fushiguro, genuinely horrified at the thought of craving flesh.
"Of course not, Kugisaki is just teasing you."
Kugisaki burst out laughing. "OH THAT'S PRECIOUS!" She slapped Yuuji's back playfully, ecstatic that she managed to unnerve him. "YOU ACTUALLY LOOKED HORRIFIED!"
Yuuji pouted. "I've watched enough zombie movies to know how this works, but with curses…" he didn't want to continue that thought. "One thing I do know, I don't feel like eating human meat right now."
"Good." She waved bacon on his face. "Keep it that way."
Yuuji snapped his teeth at the offering, and Kugisaki yelped. "Doesn't mean I'm not craving bacon."
"Then get your own, dumbass."
They shared the plate equally among themselves, before Kugisaki pushed the remaining pieces of her share back into the middle. Something about it having too much grease, before she left to finish preparations for class. Fushiguro waved them away, leaving three extra pieces to Yuuji, who happily accepted the offering.
'Brat.'
"Finally awake huh? How long were you planning on ghosting me inside my own head?"
'Feed me.'
"Yes, yes your highness."
Yuuji sneakily fed the last pieces of bacon to the mouth on his hand. At the corner of Yuuji's tongue, he could've sworn he tasted the grease as Sukuna lapped at the meat.
Before meeting up in the classroom, Yuuji's stomach made a loud noise. Fushiguro turned to him with an eyebrow raised, questioning his appetite. Yuuji apologized and very quickly ran for a second breakfast at the vending machines.
The urge to eat more seemed to quell after that.
During the lectures, Yuuji found himself staring off in the distance, unable to focus on Gojo's words, which were laced with actual lessons and senseless ramblings. The rumbling of his stomach kept him far away and Yuuji began to wonder whether he was thinking or feeling right because Fushiguro and Kugisaki did not react to it.
Yuuji clutched his stomach. Not enough.
After Gojo excused himself to take a break, 'Typical', Sukuna scoffed, Yuuji ran towards the vending machines again and bought five more sandwiches. It was a little bit excessive but Yuuji just wanted to stop this stupid, neverending ache at the pit of his stomach. He ate through them like fire burning across paper and licked the edges clean of any residual sauce or mayonnaise.
Yuuji has had these selections before and he knew how cheaply they were made. They were generic, bland tasting spreads combined with greasy processed meat and overly moisturized vegetables. They did not taste good. It's why Yuuji often cooked for Fushiguro and Kugisaki to save them from this horrible cheap meal. But as he finished off his fifth sandwich, he really wasn't really counting anymore, it tasted like the best thing he's ever had.
He couldn't get enough of it.
"We need more."
"OI ITADORI!" Kugisaki shouted from across the foyer. "What are you doing? We got an assignment!"
"Give me a second!" He pressed one more sandwich for luck, but the vending machine did not drop anything into the tray. He tried everything else on the menu and he was met with the same result.
"I'm going to hit your head if you don't come here now!"
Itadori clicked his tongue and kicked the greedy machine. "Fine, keep your secrets. I'll be back for you."
Yuuji did not wake up on his bed.
He awoke to the darkness with a heavy air around him, filling his thoughts with a single itch. Eat.
What started as a need, now became a compulsion Yuuji couldn't ignore even if he wanted to. He was too tired. They should be asleep. Sukuna was quiet again in his mind, but the longing for something in his stomach told him that he and Sukuna were hungry.
Yuuji traversed through the dimly lit hallway, far too dazed to notice the red that lined the windows, nor the ankle length crimson liquid that flooded the corridors. He did not bother opening the lights. They knew where they were going. Yuuji crouched and felt cold air brush past their skin.
His arms moved on instinct, grabbing, and clawing at whatever he could get his hands on. Taking and taking. Never pausing to stop. He couldn't stop. He was just too hungry.
Sukuna said something to him, but Yuuji was far too lost in his desire to satisfy this unexplainable craving to comprehend him. Yuuji was losing it. No matter what he took, no matter what he ate, it did not appease the ravenous pit in his stomach.
More. I need more.
He grabbed something and tossed it over his head. Far too frustrated with not getting what he wanted, needed.
Not enough.
'Brat.'
Yuuji snarled.
'Switch with me.'
For the first time that night, Yuuji finally stopped himself from perilously scouring the darkness for reprieve. He turned to Sukuna, who remained invisible in the abyss. "No. You'll hurt them."
'You'll remain hungry if you don't do as I say.'
Yuuji stubbornly shook his head, falling face down onto the pool of blood at his feet. "No. Never."
Sukuna disappeared for a second, before he returned with a terrifying mass of energy behind him. 'I'm taking over. Enchain.'
"Wai - What do you mean take over?"
The ground shook beneath him. An electrifying crawl of a thousand year old curse sparked around him, followed by that disgusting roll of cursed energy. It devoured his senses, drowning him in nothing but dread. His veins throbbed, rejecting the power that forcibly took the reigns of control from him.
The hair on the back of his skin stood as the energy rolled to his toes and fingertips, lacing his skin with markings he'd grown all too familiar with. "Su-ku-" he tried to move his mouth again, to beg, something he's never done in the face of the King of Curses, but couldn't. His voice was lodged up his throat as the weight of Sukuna's will clamped down on his thoughts and silenced his consciousness.
Yuuji shuddered, his limbs growing heavy. He couldn't breathe.
It was like eating his finger for the first time.
A dark colossal presence that clawed mercilessly from the pit of his stomach, screaming of rage and violence, that he could not stop nor silence no matter what he did. A wave of power that swallowed him whole, carving a piece of itself on his soul, until he no longer existed within it.
"Suk- sto-" black marks spread across his skin, and then…
He fell.
To the sound of a single high-pitched tone that bounced around him into a familiar annoying beep.
Yuuji woke to the sound of his alarm going ballistic.
He pushed it off the desk, far too panicked to turn it properly. He ran to the sink, and caught himself with bloodshot eyes. Yuuji immediately took off his shirt and anxiously turned around to look for any sign of Sukuna's tattoos on his body. He calmed down when all he found were scars he'd accumulated from several missions.
Yuuji fell back and dropped to his knees in misplaced relief. It's been a while since he was plagued with night terrors. Call it being desensitized, but after weeks of living in the same headspace as a malevolent entity like Sukuna, Yuuji knew what kind of violence the former yearned for. What happened last night… was not it. What that was, was a different form of evil.
He first gathered his thoughts before he called out to his other half, praying to whatever god was listening that Sukuna would not ignore him this time around. "Sukuna."
The scar under his eye split open, far more naturally than the muscle around his cheek that ripped apart muscle fibers that kept it attached on his jaw. "What do you want, brat."
"Last night… D - Did anything happen last night?"
Sukuna growled, not quite sure what Yuuji wanted from him.
"You mean, you didn't…?"
"Didn't what? Get bored of your mumbling in your sleep? Always, kid. It's fucking pathetic."
Yuuji laughed, his voice breaking halfway through. It was probably his imagination. Sukuna has always been distant and unconcerned with Yuuji's wellbeing, and yet his nonchalant disregard of Yuuji's fears now comforted him. In a way, it made the dream, or whatever that was, feel like it was nothing. Just a figment of his imagination. A culmination of stress and late night thoughts.
"You think I'm being funny?" Sukuna spat, and Yuuji's mirth died away.
"We're probably over-eating," he rationalized himself. "Yeah.. that's, that's probably it. We've been eating a lot recently."
"You mean you're eating. I don't need food," Sukuna said, and Yuuji chuckled.
"Right. But we enjoy it." Yuuji pushed his hair back and sighed. Sukuna slipped away in silent agreement. "It's just a dream."
Sukuna can't take control from me.
After composing himself, Yuuji joined the others in the pantry; or well, in the hallway of where the pantry was. Kugisaki looked cross at what was inside and Fushiguro called someone on his phone, most likely Gojo, by the look on his face.
"What's going on?"
"Someone looted and destroyed the kitchen," Kugisaki huffed. "They even ate the shitty fruit cake!"
Yuuji peeked inside the pantry and grew pale. The counter top was sliced cleanly in two from the midline. The cupboards were ransacked, packs of food hanging from high up, with drawers pulled from their sockets and scattered on the floor. The fridge was toppled face down with empty containers strewn about around it. As if someone made sure to clean out its contents first before rampaging across the room for more.
The weight on his stomach churned, and Yuuji absentmindedly touched his belly. It couldn't have been...
"Itadori."
"Huh?" Yuuji snapped his attention to Fushiguro who offered him his phone. He had a deep frown on his face, looking straight at Yuuji with that look. The look that made Yuuji think that he'd figured it all out.
Yuuji wanted to run away.
This wasn't how this was supposed to go.
'Coward.'
"Gojo wants to talk to you."
Yuuji bit his tongue. "H-hello?"
"Yuuji! How are you feeling!"
The usual pep in the sorcerer's voice calmed Yuuji down, even for a little, and he let the lie roll out of his tongue as if it was the truth.
Sukuna hummed, pleased.
He seemed to do that a lot nowadays; content with Yuuji falling ever so deeper in the darkness on his own without a hope of salvation.
"I'm fine Sensei, just woke up and well… kind of hungry, but the kitchen's busted."
"Let's just get food in the combini," Kugisaki said and Fushiguro grumbled with a small curve on his lips.
"Combini's aren't healthy."
"They will be if I choose the healthy options. I am not starting the day without food." Kugisaki stormed ahead of them followed by Fushiguro who placed a comforting hand on Yuuji's shoulder. He squeezed him gently.
Yuuji had to use everything in him to not collapse and break down in front of Fushiguro. An unsaid promise, or support was exchanged between them before he too followed after Kugisaki before she got too far.
"And Sukuna?" Gojo continued.
"Surprisingly quiet. Hes - He's still him though. A pain in the ass but nothing I can't handle."
Gojo hummed seemingly unconvinced.
Yuuji didn't dare mention the dream, regardless if it was a warning of what Sukuna could do but he chose not to, or if it was something he can do in the future. Nevertheless, the thought terrified him. He should tell Gojo but the connection that he and Sukuna now shared told him otherwise.
'If you tell him, they'll exorcise us.'
'Death, brat. Are you ready for it?'
Yuuji told himself that he was, but he wasn't entirely convinced if that was how he wanted everything to end.
When Gojo came to him with the offer to prolong his execution, Yuuji took it without hesitation. He wanted his life to mean something; to protect others as his grandfather cursed him. Yuuji wanted to follow his grandfather's final wish, even if it led him to his own death. However, for each finger he ate, Yuuji cannot bring himself to lie to himself.
He's terrified. He's deathly afraid of dying.
Sukuna knew this, and he never grew tired of reminding Yuuji of his faux braveness.
Something shuffled on the other end of the line, followed by the sound of muffled sirens. If he focused enough, Yuuji was certain he heard someone weeping. A dark feeling at the pit of his stomach brewed. "W- where are you Sensei?"
"Hm? Oh, nowhere important, just a bit of traffic out yonder. Send me a pic of the kitchen before you go. I need to know how much we need to bill Yaga. Toodles!"
The line disconnected and Yuuji stared at the dropped image on the screen.
He's lying, a thought they shared. Yuuji took one final look at the pillaged pantry and snapped a picture as Gojo requested. As he left, Yuuji could've sworn he tasted a hint of week-old alcohol at the tip of his tongue.
Yuuji lost his appetite for a good three days after that nightmare. Then the bottomless hunger returned. Nothing he ate quelled the gluttony that imprisoned his thoughts to only think of one thing.
More.
Pork, chicken, beef, sweetened desserts, an ungodly amount of noodles, not even dozens of chips and crackers he'd already stashed in his room made a difference.
It just wasn't enough.
After he had that horrible feeling of guilt about the pantry, Yuuji made it so that he only ate what was expected of him. They didn't say anything outright but Yuuji could feel it. They knew it was his fault. He could feel their worried eyes boring the back of his neck, waiting for him to open up.
Even if he wanted to, Yuuji had nothing to tell them. Even if the pantry was his fault and the dream with Sukuna gaining control was real, how would he even start explaining it?
'I've been feeling hungry these past few days and nothing I ate made me full. Oh, and Sukuna also can take over my body whenever he wants now too.'
As if.
They already freaked out, sans Gojo, when they found out about the merging. If they found out that their connection has progressed further than before; without the influence of another finger, what's to say that Sukuna would not completely take over Yuuji by the time he's exposed to the fifth finger.
It terrified Yuuji.
He should tell them, but he was too afraid of how they'd react. He couldn't face their angry glares. The betrayal in their eyes. He just couldn't.
'Coward.'
'I'm not a coward," he argued with the cursed King. 'Do you want me to tell them? They'll kill you right away.'
'Us," Sukuna sneered. 'They'll kill us.
'You don't have the balls, kid.'
'I'd be fucking impressed if you shared anything that bothered you. Friends?' Sukuna cackled. 'Don't make me laugh. You don't care about anyone. You claim you do this to protect them, but you're only protecting yourself. Protecting us. Too selfish to realize that you keep them around to keep yourself happy. How small, insignificant, and utterly pathetic you are, Yuuji Itadori.'
"Shut up," he hissed, stabbing nails into his hand enough for it to bleed.
Yuuji didn't notice how long and sharp his nails had gotten over the weeks. He should cut them. Sukuna protested at the back of his head, calling it an appealing look on them and that they should paint it black. Yuuji dismissed the thought and filed them down to a safe curve. As he did, the echo of the hunger in his stomach lulled him once again into a daze.
Hungry.
Feed .
He studied his nails and found himself staring at the blood on his hands that he failed to clean instead. It looked like decorative beads on his palm, glistening like forest berries under the summer light. Enticing, yet poisonous. A forbidden fruit he never should attempt tasting. And yet.. They were far too hungry to be concerned about safety.
They raised their hand to their mouth and ran their tongue over the wound. The gratification from the taste was instant. Yuuji knew how disgusting the flavor of blood was. It was metal smeared on the palate. It was not at all appetizing. However as he lapped across the wounds one more time, greedy of the smallest bit of iron in his taste buds, it tasted more like tangy fruit. Sweet and intoxicating at first taste, followed by that sour after taste that made him want more.
More.
He pushed his hand closer to his mouth and sucked out whatever he could before it clotted. He felt Sukuna stir in his mind, clearly watching the sin he had just committed, craving blood to satisfy the hunger that ate him from the inside out.
To his surprise, Sukuna did not say anything. As the blood dried off, Yuuji couldn't stop himself from biting into his hand. The pain was nothing compared to the satisfaction that came after it.
More. We need more.
The sandwiches he used to buy from the vending machine now tasted like dirt. The crisp bacon he adored in the morning now felt like tree bark. His favorite chips and sweets now tasted like rocks covered in disgusting muck. Even the meatballs he taught Fushiguro to make which had way too much ginger now tasted like gunk.
Everything tasted horrible. He vomited them all after he escaped the watchful eyes of his peers, most especially Gojo. He knew what was going to happen if they found out.
Simply eating his blood was not enough. Not anymore.
Yuuji knew what the next step was.
Sukuna did not even need to whisper devilish temptations into his ear. They already knew.
He was too afraid to make that leap. It did not matter. He was far too famished.
Yuuji devoured raw meat from grocery packs.
Lean, tender cuts of beef, pork, and chicken.
Fish was odd. Yuuji avoided that.
For a while, that was enough.
Until it wasn't.
The next time Yuuji woke up in the darkness, he found himself covered in blood.
Below him was the mangled body of a girl that stared up at him with dead eyes, blown wide open in horror. Her mandible slacked to the floor, pulled out from the sockets of her jaw, and her throat marked with three sharp cuts that bled her to death.
She choked in her own blood, unable to scream for any help while Yuuji feasted.
Yuuji looked down at their meal.
They ripped her stomach open and bit off large chunks of skin and meat like a ravenous wolf. They ate fast. They didn't want to attract the flies. Those pests ruined the taste of it. They threw away the intestines. Too unclean. It left a bad after taste in their mouth.
What was hidden underneath it had more flavor.
Yuuji watched in pure horror as his hands, marked with two black bands around the wrist, moved with absolute precision as it clipped a pea shaped organ with a sharp fingernail. They squeezed the organ, drinking up the intoxicating plasma that poured from it, before they placed it inside an easy lock container.
Yuuji trembled and Sukuna drummed their nails towards the heart. The best part. "You woke up."
'What - what did you do!?' Yuuji screamed in their mind. Sukuna had control. Yuuji cannot, could not do anything. He tried to grab the reins of control to force Sukuna out, but he was dragged back down by a heavy weight that chained him into the abyss.
He's never been awake in the times Sukuna had control. He's never been fully aware to see him, feel him, kill anyone. The guilt that came after he realized Sukuna claimed lives while he peacefully slept in the dark, traumatized Yuuji.
He's never felt this happy seeing blood on his hand.
He wanted to wash it away.
He wanted to lick it.
Yuuji felt horrible.
Their stomach churned.
Yuuji wanted to eat.
He wanted to throw up.
Sukuna chuckled at Yuuji's internal crisis and packed away their spoils. "This should keep us satisfied for a few weeks. We're going to need another one soon, but I'll let you handle that."
'You killed her… for -' Yuuji didn't even want to say it.
"For food?" Sukuna finished it for him; a dark grin splitting on his face as he taunted his trembling vessel. "No, dearest, Yuuji. You did."
Sukuna touched their forehead and images flashed into Yuuji's mind.
Clear as day.
Yuuji got out of bed, his eyes dulled, with only a single thought in his mind. He didn't bother with clothes and snuck out of Jujutsu Tech. He waited in the shadows. When a lady passed by, Yuuji did not second guess himself. He snapped the woman's jaw and sliced her throat with his nails; the very same nails he filed down days ago, magically sharpening at his intent to maim.
The woman's hand flew to her throat, panic settling in her eyes before she dropped at Yuuji's feet.
Yuuji licked his hand, and lowered himself to rip through her stomach, planting his face straight down her innards and eating his fill. Then he stopped; all of a sudden. Sukuna's marks appeared, and the King of Curses pushed their hair back as he studied the lacerated skin and meat.
"Oh, Yuuji," he sighed. His tone was almost endearing and impressive. It made a cold shiver run down Yuuji's spine. "You've finally done it." Sukuna cackled, "You've killed someone with your bare hands!"
"I - I didn't - I didn't mean to - We didn't," Yuuji stammered, falling back on his elbows as he staggered away from the body. The longer he stared at it, the more he felt his heart crack, torn between wanting to run away, and wanting to devour everything before him.
Sukuna's menacing laughter echoed in the darkness that only seemed to contain them and the person they just killed. "Not even a curse! Not a disfigured human's soul begging for salvation, but a civilian! With a family! You just her down like measly prey!"
Yuuji shook his head, stumbling as he stepped back. Stepped away from the body.
He couldn't breathe.
He needed to get out of here.
He scrambled to run as far as he could. As far as he could away from here.
"And go where?" Sukuna's voice split open near his ear. "Six Eyes and your friends already know. They've known since your tantrum in the pantry. Who else had the strength and the technique to cut through marble? Us, you idiot. Only you were stupid enough to believe they weren't keeping an eye."
"After all, she's not the first you've killed."
The sirens behind Gojo's call.
A report of a murder not that far from where they were.
Yuuji fell to his knees, as he looked at the street name. The exact same one from the news report. He's killed. Ate, someone else before and he didn't know.
He never would've known.
The guilt swallowed him from the inside and out, and Yuuji snapped.
He wanted to die. Completing Sukuna's fingers didn't matter now. He broke his grandfather's wish, he broke Gojo's trust, he betrayed Fushiguro's faith in him. It was over.
There was no saving him.
"I killed them..."
"You got it, brat."
"It wasn't you, it was… I - It was me."
Sukuna's amusement simmered as Yuuji stared at his bloodied hands, too shocked to cry, because even if he felt guilt, he could not ignore the hunger that still existed inside him. They needed more.
He needed more.
Yuuji didn't want to eat anymore. He scratched at his stomach, desperate to rip his stomach out and end this hunger out of him. He didn't care if he died. He didn't want this. He never wanted this.
Then he fell.
Blood pooled at Yuuji's knees as he registered the dark landscape filled with horned skulls and a large rib-like cave above him. The King of Curses stood in front of him, with four eyes looking down at him like he was a pebble on the dirt. Trash.
"Oh, my vessel, how far you've fallen." Sukuna carded his clawed fingers through Yuuji's hair.
Yuuji froze but did not shy away from the touch. He was far too cold, too numb to feel resentment towards the curse that made every waking moment of his life a living hell. He just wanted to stop thinking. To stop feeling.
He didn't want to eat anymore, and yet; he needed more.
Sukuna tenderly wrapped his arms around Yuuji and whispered, poison-laced promises into his ears. "You don't have to think. I'll take care of everything. Rest now, Yuuji."
Against his better judgement, Yuuji closed his eyes. He's so, so tired.
As he submerged down the crimson depths of Sukuna's domain, Yuuji felt, for the longest time, the best sleep he's had in ages.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yuuji opened his eyes.
He stared at a familiar ceiling. Memories of last night flooded back in. He remembered being distraught about it, panicked, torn between killing himself and paying for his sins. However, as he watched the sunlight flood in his domain, Yuuji just felt… nothing.
Sukuna broke into a grin under his cheek, sounding so much more agreeable than he ever was. "Good morning, Yuuji. How are we feeling?"
"Hungry."
Yuuji's half-lidded eyes glanced over to the fridge he bought weeks prior to keep their frozen meat. When he opened it, preserved organs, still painted in that alluring red Yuuji grew to love, welcomed them.
They licked their lips.