Work Text:
Zed laughs to himself as he flies over to Tango’s base. He knows the other Hermit will be around there somewhere. He lands carefully, not wanting to get himself dirty. That wouldn’t be any fun!
Zed wanders around, poking around Tango’s chests for a bit before actively looking for him. “Tango… Where are you…?”
“I’m down here!” Tango calls from deep within the base.
Zed walks towards his voice with a skip in his step, shedding his armor and elytra into his inventory. Tango’s probably caught up in his work again and needs a good Zedaphy distraction! Zed pops his head in to find Tango face first in a redstone machine, mumbling to himself. “What’re you doing?” Zed asks.
Tango jumps, banging his head against a hopper. The fire spirit rubs the back of his head, turning to face Zed. There’s a moment of hesitation before he gestures with the redstone torch he’s holding. “Trying to figure out what this monstrosity Etho left me does.”
“Can I help?”
“No thanks.” Tango turns back to the machine.
Zed frowns, crossing his arms. This is no good! Zed wants to be a good Zedaphy distraction! And he wants a good Tango distraction. He’s bored.
Zed looks at the machine, tapping his chin. So many hoppers for a tiny him to climb around in. It looks so fun. It’s a good thing he can get small enough to stand in the hoppers!
Zed tiptoes behind Tango and shifts to be tiny, climbing up the other’s back before he can do anything. Zed launches himself into the air, grabbing the edge of a dropper and scrambling up.
“Zed! No!” Tango reaches for him but Zed runs deeper into the redstone machinery.
“Gotta catch me first!” Zed laughs.
The now new and improved tiny Zed runs through the redstone as Tango chases him in a fun game of cat and mouse. Zed knows Tango would never hurt him but the adrenaline is a high all the same. The perfect Zedaphy distraction!
...Right up until Zed trips on a repeater and the game is up. Tango snatches him up in his very warm hands, bringing him up to his face. Zed grins cheerfully but still nervously, heart racing and out of breath. “Best... Best two out of three?”
Tango laughs. “You are a nuisance.”
“And… And your best friend!”
Tango moves one hand to rub his chin, changing his grip to loosely hold Zed in his fist. Zed struggles uselessly, pushing at his fingers. “No, Impulse is my best friend, I think. He would never run inside the redstone I was working on.”
“Aha!” Zed says, pointing at Tango’s nose, his other hand resting on his finger. “I… I knew it! It was… Your redstone! Not Etho’s! You… Need to take… A break!”
Tango gently boops Zed’s nose, which really means his entire face. “You sound like you need a break too.”
Zed’s face, which is red from running and red from being held in Tango’s warm hands, gets redder at the thought of HIMSELF needing a break. “No!” Zed says, taking deep breaths. “Just… Lightheaded from… Running so fast…”
Tango cups Zed in both his hands. “So you can go home then?”
“If I go home… YOU’LL go back… to work!” Zed says. “I came over… To be a Zedaphy… Distraction!” He's catching his breath, his heartbeat slowing.
Tango also seems to be thinking it over. The fire spirit grins, his fangs glittering. “So you’re staying here with me?”
“Yes!” Zed says. “Your base is very warm.”
“I’m very warm.”
“You are,” Zed agrees.
Tango rustles Zed’s hair with his finger. “You know, what’s the best way to keep us together so neither of us can do work?”
Zed knows! He’s not going to say it because it’s fun to pretend to not know. Also, he doesn't have any work to do. “I don't have any work,” Zed corrects him.
Tango rolls his eyes before grinning, showing off his fangs. With one hand, he makes scary claw fingers. “So I could EAT you and no one would ever know?”
Zed gasps dramatically, hand on his heart. “Eat me?!”
Tango puts on a show of licking his lips. “Swallow you whole.”
Zed puts a hand on his forehead and does an over the top faint. He almost falls off Tango’s hand and the fire spirit quickly moves his other one to catch him. “Tango! I thought we were friends!”
“Oh, but you look so delicious in that brown swea- Hang on, do you own any other clothes?” Tango picks Zed up by the back of his shirt. “This is the same color as all your other sweaters.”
“I have many brown sweaters,” Zed says. “You and Impulse both say they look like chocolate, so I got more.”
“That’s… Nice of you,” Tango says. “You do look like a piece of chocolate in it.”
“Do I taste like one?” Zed teases.
“We can find out,” Tango says, booping Zed’s face softly.
And gently Zed is placed head first in Tango’s mouth. With his tongue, Tango pulls Zed into his mouth up to his waist, leaving the tiny’s legs sticking out.
Zed can't see the outside anymore, but he feels the rocking and sudden drop as Tango walks over to a seat and sits down.
Tango sucks on Zed like a piece of hard candy, covering him in warm saliva. Zed presses on Tango's tongue, stretching his back.
Tango stops sucking on Zed. “‘Ou wand oud?” Tango mumbles around him.
“No,” Zed says loudly. “I'm fine.”
“Okay,” Tango mumbles. He rolls Zed over, the tiny giggling as the tip of his tongue accidentally tickles him.
“Tango!” Tango freezes as Impulse calls his name. “Have you seen Ze-? Oh.”
Caught like a cat eating the canary. Tango slurps Zed's legs into his mouth. “Mo,” he says. Zed giggles, hearing Impulse walk closer.
“Really? You haven't? So you wouldn't be opposed to opening your mouth?”
Tango pushes Zed to the back of his throat then swallows, sending him down. Zed hears Tango's steady heartbeat get loud as he passes his heart. He lands in Tango's empty stomach with a soft squish. The fire spirit's warm stomach glows a very faint soft orange, lighting up the area just enough for Zed to see.
“Aaaah…” Tango says, his voice muffled from within. “See? No Zedaphs here.”
“I watched you swallow him!”
“I'm not here!” Zed yells. “Go away!” He wipes his wet hands on his less wet pants so he can wipe his face off. He manages to wipe the saliva off his face but then uselessly tries to wipe it off his sweater.
Tango snorts, pressing his hand against his stomach. “You heard the man. He's not here.”
Impulse sighs in frustration. “Well, if Zed was here, what would he be doing?”
“Making me take a break,” Tango answers. “And I am taking a break, so go, shoo.”
Zed stretches, pressing his hands against Tango's hand and his feet into the rest of the pink muscle around him. Tango removes his hand and gravity shifts slightly as the fire spirit moves. There's the shuffling of clothes and Impulse says, “If there's no Zed here to make sure you take a break, I guess I'll stick around.”
Zed yawns, rubbing his face with his dryer hand. Tango's body heat is higher than most everyone else's and Zed is getting sleepy. He tries one last time to wipe the saliva off his sleeves before giving up. He crosses his arms beneath his head, curling up slightly in the bottom of Tango's warm stomach. “I'm going to sleep!” Zed yells. He yawns, rubbing his face with his sleeve and smearing saliva on himself again. “Egh, gross.”
Tango chuckles, pressing his arms against his stomach. “Have a good nap, Zed.”
“Yeah, have a good nap, Zed, who is definitely not here,” Impulse says.
Gravity shifts as Tango stands up. A second pair of footsteps means Impulse stood as well. The two begin a conversation, but quiet enough that it doesn't bother Zed. As Tango walks with Impulse through his base, the steady sound of his heartbeat alongside the gentle sway and massage of his stomach gets Zed to sleep within minutes.
"Zed…” Poke. “Zed…” Poked again. “Zedaph, it's time to get up…”
Zed yawns, beginning to stretch. His arm squishes against the pink muscles of Tango's stomach and he blinks a couple of times to reorient himself. “...Mmmnnph... Good morning, Tango,”
“Sure is,” Tango agrees. “You slept through it. Time to get out. I'm back at your place, so don't worry about getting back while wet.”
Zed wasn't before, but now he is. How would he? It's quite a distance.
“I'm letting you out now,” Tango says. “Head up, you ready?”
Zed checks around to make sure he didn't take anything out of his inventory before shakily standing on the stomach walls. Or the stomach floors? “Head up, I'm ready!”
After a few seconds, Tango carefully spits Zed into his palms, the tiny once again covered in saliva. Zed shivers despite still being in the fire spirit's hands. Outside of Tango is a lot colder than inside of Tango. Zed grins goofily. “I’m a pretty good piece of candy, huh?”
Tango cups him in one hand, booping his face. “Didn't taste like chocolate though.” He pulls wet washcloth out of his inventory and wipes Zed off. “There, now you're all wiped off from spit.” Tango puts his hand next to the floor so Zed can step off. “Go take a shower.”
Zed steps off and turns big, facing Tango. His hair and clothes are still plastered to his body with saliva, but thanks to the washcloth, there's not a layer glistening on top of him anymore. “Go take a shower? Tango, are you saying that this was unhygienic and you haven't brushed your teeth?! Are you saying I tasted funny?!”
Tango covers his face in his hands. “I'm saying that you probably don't want to go out looking like you just got swallowed. It's not polite.”
“Fine,” Zed says. “Alright, if you say so.” He heads to his room.
“Thanks for the break!” Tango yells. “I was having a great chat with Impulse!” He takes off, rockets sounding from outside.
Zed rolls his eyes and heads to the shower. He's sure Tango's off to bother Impulse into letting him be the snack this time.