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It was a surprisingly quiet morning on Kashyyyk. Usually there were some storm troopers or dangerous animals hanging about but as BD-1 led his master up the trail to the top of the waterfall where Greez said he found a “bitchin’ place to meditate” Cal had to go check it out. Especially since there’s been a lot on his mind lately that he needs to reflect on.
“So this is the spot?” Cal asks the droid.
BD-1 beeps his affirmation and Cal lets out a low whistle and takes in the scenery.
“Wow, this is a great place to meditate.” Cal says and kneels down on the ground.
He unclips his lightsaber from his belt and looks at the hilt that used to belong to his master. He’s fixed it up over the years but he could still feel a sense echo coming from it. And Cal had a lot of questions that he hoped a memory from his Master might be able to answer.
He closes his eyes, and places his hand on the hilt and he’s instantly transported back in time, to find himself as a padawan on the battlefield with his Master during the clone wars. He couldn’t tell what planet they were on, but he remembered this battle. So he knew what was going to happen, but what he didn’t know, and what he wanted to know was how his Master felt and how he made his decisions when-
“OUCH!” Cal yelps and goes down as a blaster bolt hits him in the arm.
He can instantly feel the panic his Master felt in that moment.
“Cal!” Jaro exclaims and rushes to his injured padawan’s side.
Now Cal was feeling a mix of emotions; worry, fear. Those were emotions he never knew his Master had felt before.
“Cal are you alright?” Jaro asks.
“I don’t know Master. Something’s wrong with my arm.” Cal says.
The blaster shot had dislocated his shoulder. He remembered having to keep his arm in a sling for a week after that. Which meant the only training he could do was meditation. Which, for an active kid like him was torture. But right now, Cal’s focus was on his Master.
“Dammit Cal, you had to get injured here!”
“I’ve got to get him out of here, it’s too dangerous to leave him here.”
“But my men need me. But what if Cal needs me more?”
“Master…” Cal weakly groans and when Jaro looks down at scared face of the boy in his arms, he felt a tug at his heart that was hard to explain but Cal seemed to understand. It was like an instinct.
“Cal needs me.” Jaro thinks as he uses the Force to push back the approaching battle droids and grabs Cal and takes off in the other direction, to get him to somewhere safe.
Then the vision faded but Cal didn’t wake up in reality. Instead he was in the place he usually saw himself in when he was meditating. Except this time, his Master was kneeling across from him.
“Master Tapal…” Cal says and smiles at the sight of his old Master.
“Cal Kestis,” Jaro kindly addresses him. “Why are you using your psychometry to seek for answers in our memories together? You have been a Jedi knight for many years now, Cere and I have already taught you everything you need to know about being a Jedi, we have nothing more we can teach you.” Jaro says.
“The questions I have aren’t about being a Jedi.” Cal says.
“Then what are they about?” Jaro asks.
“Something you probably wouldn’t approve of.” Cal says with a short laugh and looks down in his lap.
“Your relationship with the Nightsister.” Jaro says and Cal stiffens and looks up at his Master who was smirking. “And how it’s…growing.”
“Yeah…that. I just need to know how you did it. How you knew what the right thing to do to take care of me was and how to know how to teach me to be a good person and-” Cal rambles.
“Cal.” Jaro says sternly. “I don’t have the time to teach you all of that. Nor is it possible, for me or anyone to teach you all of that in just one meditation.”
“I just don’t know how to do this.” Cal says.
“No one really does, and it’s not something that can be taught.” Jaro tells him. “But just trust in the Force, and trust in your instincts. Then you’ll know what you need to do. And avoiding the issue never helps you find the answers for it. It only makes her worried, which is the last thing she needs right now.”
“You’re right Master.” Cal says, smiling as he senses Merrin’s presence nearby. “Thank you.”
Jaro simply smiles and then Cal opens his eyes to find himself sitting on top of the waterfall again.
The branches behind him rustle and BD-1 beeps a greeting to Merrin as she steps out onto the clifftop.
“Hello BD.” Merrin greets the droid, gently patting his head as he scampers over to her before turning her attention back to Cal. “Cal, what are you doing up here?”
“Meditating.” Cal says, standing up and walking over to her.
“I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t disturb you.” Merrin says apologetically with a soft smile.
“No, you didn’t. I know you like to watch me meditate sometimes.” Cal admits.
Merrin smiles and gently rubs her hand over her stomach. She had been doing that a lot lately, and that look on her face told Cal that she was finally about to tell him why. But little did she know, he already knew. She furrows her brow in confusion.
“How do you know?” Merrin asks.
“Because I can use the Force to sense things around me.” Cal says. “I can feel when you’re nearby.”
He gently places his hand over hers over her stomach.
“I can feel both of you.” He tells her.
Merrin’s eyes widened and she gasps.
“Cal you…”
“Yeah, Mer I know.” He says and smiles at her.
Merrin felt herself begin to tear up.
“And here I was hoping to surprise you.” Merrin says.
“You can still tell me and I’ll pretend to be surprised.” Cal suggests.
Merrin laughs and shakes her head.
“No darling that’s alright.” She says. “I’m happy that you knew. But is this the reason you’ve been running off and avoiding me lately?” She asks.
“Yeah.” Cal admits.
Merrin instantly looks worried.
“Oh…are you not happy about the-“
“Oh Merrin no that’s not it at all!” Cal assures her. “I’m going to have a child with the woman I love, I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited before in my life!”
“Me too.” Merrin agrees.
“I’m just worried because I don’t know what to do. I never thought I’d ever be a father, nor did I think I’d ever want to be but now that I’m going to be one I just…wanted to try to get some advice from the man that raised me.” Cal says and shows her his lightsaber.
“Your Master, the one who died during Order 66 to save you.” Merrin says.
“Yeah. Him.” Cal says and looks down at the lightsaber. “He was the closest thing I had to a father, so I figured he might have some advice for me on how to raise someone like me.”
Cal watches as Merrin slowly places her hands over his.
“And what did he tell you to do?” Merrin asks.
“Trust my instincts.” Cal replies.
“Then that is what I think you should do.” Merrin says and cups Cal’s cheek in her hand before kissing him.
Cal kisses her back, wrapping one arm around her waist, while his other hand slides down her front, resting over her lower belly as he senses the little life that was growing inside of her.
About halfway through Merrin’s pregnancy, they finally get around to setting up a proper nursery on the Mantis.
And by proper nursery, they meant putting a crib in the engine room where he and Merrin slept.
“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Greez asks as Cal gets to work building a crib out of good scrap metal he salvaged on their last visit to Bracca during a mission for Saw Gererra.
The baby wouldn’t be sleeping on the scrap metal. It was just the frame. And Cal cleaned and smoothed down all the rods earlier so they were safe for the baby. They looked so clean, you would have never guessed they were from Bracca.
“Nah, I’ve got it.” Cal says, screwing in a bolt on one of the metal frames. “I spent five years on Bracca doing stuff like this every day, I know what I’m doing.”
“Fair enough.” Greez says and leaves.
As Cal picked up a wrench out of his tool kit he sensed another echo in the Force. This tool kit used to belong to Prauf. What are the odds that he might have some advice for him?
Cal decided it was worth a shot so he accepts the echo and once again sees a younger version of himself, this time on Bracca, and Prauf was handing him the wrench that he was currently using.
“Where am I supposed to use this?” Cal asks.
Prauf feels amused and points Cal towards where he’s supposed to use the wrench.
“Like this?” Cal asks.
“Yeah, just like that?” Prauf says.
“Hey, Prauf, if we’re scrappers, then why are we building something? Aren’t we supposed to be taking things apart?” Cal asks.
“Well, taking things apart is our job but for me, the opposite is my hobby. I like to build things with the stuff that we find.” Jaro explains.
“What are we building?” Cal asks and Prauf laughs.
“I’ll keep that a surprise for you.” Prauf says.
There it was again, that same feeling from the sense Echo with Jaro, that tug in his heart.
“I’m really happy you agreed to let me teach you this stuff Cal.” Prauf says. “It’s nice, to have someone to pass this knowledge on to.”
I always wanted to have a family. Prauf thinks to himself. And this kid may be pushing away everyone he meets but, he seems to let me take care of him and teach him, like I always wanted to do with a kid of my own. Who knows, maybe I have found a family on this wasteland of a planet.
The echo ended there and Cal smiles and looks at the wrench. He knew that Prauf thought of him as a son. He was never too good at hiding it. That’s why he wanted him to get off of Bracca. He wanted his son to have a better life than him. A life that he would have wanted.
“Well Prauf,” Cal says and places his hand on the frame of the crib “I found my destiny, and now I’m gonna have a family. Just like you always wanted for me. I hope you’re proud of me, wherever you are. And I’m gonna teach my kid everything you taught me.”
Merrin was due at any time now, and the Mantis was on edge waiting for Merrin to go into labor.
Noticing no one was in the cockpit, Cal decides to go inside to have some time alone to try to get his mind off of waiting and clear his head. He places his hands on top of the pilot and co-pilot’s seat and strangely, senses a sense echo from the co-pilot’s chair. That was his chair. No one else ever sat in it. Except for Greez that one time when he tried to teach Cal how to…
Curious, Cal decides to take a look into what Greez was really feeling and thinking when he let Cal attempt to fly his precious ship.
“Are you watching where you’re going!” Greez shouts at Cal.
“Yes, I’m looking forward out the window, and we’re going forward, of course I’m watching where I’m going!” Cal laughs.
“Looking out the window and watching where you’re going are two different things.” Greez explains.
“Okay then explain to me how they’re different?” Cal asks.
Oh boy, this kid’s got a lot to learn. Greez thinks.
“Looking out the window means you’re seeing what’s in front of you. But if you’re watching where you’re going, then you can also see what’s ahead of you, and that’s the difference between smooth flying and- CRASHING!” Greez yells and Cal turns the steering handles sharply to steer the ship away from a large tree.
Greez nearly falls over, and he just feels like one huge ball of anxiety, and worry. But also, that tug of the heart. Cal could feel it when Greez looked at him and he gave him an apologetic smile.
Oh boy, my grandma was right. Most of your time as a parent is spent worrying. Greez thinks to himself.
Cal removes his hand from the back of the chair, smiling at the memory. So Greez thought of him as a son too. Maybe not as much as Prauf, and certainly not as much as Jaro. But in a way, he still looked after him like he was his own son, and the thought of that warmed Cal’s heart.
“Hey uh Cal,”
Speak of the devil.
Cal turns around, smiling at Greez.
“Oh! Wow, didn’t expect to see you in such a good mood.” Greez says.
“Yeah, I didn’t expect it either but, I found some good memories in here.” Cal explains.
“Oh, that’s great!” Greez says. “Hey, speaking of memories, a new one’s about to be made in the engine room.” Greez says and Cal’s heart leaps to his throat. “It’s time!”
Cal didn’t know what to think. He knew, logically that this was really happening but, given how horrible most of his life has been, it seemed too good to be true.
But it was. Right before his eyes, in Merrin’s arms was a little person, that looked just like him. Well, except for the eyes. They had Merrin’s eyes and probably other things too he was missing at the moment but the majority of them was him.
“I can’t believe I just did that.” Merrin says, exhausted and sweaty from the ordeal that was giving birth.
“Well you did. And you did a great job.” Cere says, wiping her hands.
She had helped Merrin during most of the birth.
Cal was mostly just there for emotional support and BD-1 brought Cere the stuff she needed.
“You’re amazing Mer.” Cal says and cups her cheek and gives her a deep kiss.
Cere smiles at the new family, and quietly makes her way out the room.
“Can I see the baby yet?” Greez asks excitedly.
“Not yet, he should get acquainted with his mother and father first.” Cere advises.
“He.” Greez says. “It’s a boy?” Greez asks excitedly as he follows Cere back towards the front of the ship.
BD-1 beeps and looks at the baby, then he scans him which makes the newborn start to cry.
“BD stop you don’t need to scan the baby!” Cal gently scolds him while Merrin bounces and shushes their son to calm him down.
“I knew if it was a boy he would take mostly after you.” Merrin says once their son quieted down.
“How did you know?” Cal asks.
“On Dathomir the sons look nearly identical to their fathers, and the daughters nearly identical to their mothers.” Merrin explains.
“Ah, so that’s why he’s got my vibrant flaming locks instead of horns.” Cal says and Merrin laughs at the description of his hair.
“Well he also needs a name, can you think of one for our son, or can you only think of words to describe your hair?” Merrin teases.
“Well uh, I haven’t really thought of any…” Cal says sheepishly and Merrin rolls her eyes. “You have any ideas?”
“Well, I only grew up around girls on Dathomir, so I don’t know too many names for boys. But since I knew he would take after you, I figured I’d think of a non-Dathomiran name. Jaro.” Merrin says.
Cal felt his heart leap into his throat again. He looks at Merrin looking at their son and feels tears beginning to prick the corners of his eyes.
“Jaro…Mer you know that was-“
“Your Master’s name. I know.” She says, turning to him. “I like it. And it fits. He takes after you in appearance, he’s Force sensitive, and without your Master he would’ve never been born. Why wouldn’t I want to name my son after the man who gave his life so that I could meet the love of mine.”
Cal couldn’t help himself. He kissed her. It was wet from his tears, and hers but neither of them cared. There was so much love in their hearts right now, for all three of them. And Cal swore that he could see a faint blue outline of a Force ghost, and he knew he sensed his Master’s presence in the room with them.
“No.” Cal says and Merrin looks confused. “We’re not naming him after my Master. We’re naming him after Jaro Tapal, my father.” Cal says and looks down at his son and gently reaches out a finger for his son to grab in his tiny fist. “I swear I’ll do my best to be as good a father to him as he was to me.”