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It wasn’t a mistake. In battle, she rarely miscalculated it at all. Within seconds her mind calculated hundreds of different scenarios, the logistics of every possibility flitting about her brain. She was a realist, bordering on pessimist, and she knew exactly what would happen if she killed him. They would never achieve the peace that her brother wanted. Even if they managed to, it would be years before it occurred, and her brother’s dream would have a weak foundation.
It was already weak from the many deaths on both sides, and the death of Madara’s brother would be taking away all of the cornerstones. He would never agree to peace. Izuna was his last brother, he would never forgive the Senju, least of all her.
To dodge the blow would just carry on the fight and drag on the possibility of peace still. Something had to give. Tobirama knew she was one of the main contenders against this village idea her brother had, not trusting the Uchiha. They were dangerous, and maybe the resentment of that squad that killed her younger brother still burnt under her cold exterior. But she could not trust them and could not believe in her brother’s optimism.
Nonetheless, when it came down to the choice, Tobirama knew she would have to die through some kind of sacrifice. Be it now, or in the future, her death would be one that saved lives. She knew it in her bones, so deeply engraved into the marrow. Call her a martyr, call her suicidal. Either way, it was an easy conclusion to come to within a second. Hashirama would fight for his loved ones, Tobirama would die for them. That was what made them so different.
And as the blade dug through the small gap in her armour, Tobirama couldn’t hold back the gasp at the surge of pain that suddenly flared up at the intrusion. Control meant nothing in the face of the sharp pain through her guts. Staring at her opponent, she met his eyes fearlessly for once, the red as deep as her own. Izuna stared back, shock as he registered what just happened. Legs feeling weak, Tobirama slumped on his blade, but still managed to keep herself standing for a moment longer.
The male went to pull the blade out but she gripped the steel tightly, cutting deep into the skin of her palms. The sting felt nothing to the clawing pain of the stab. Blood bubbled in her lungs and she coughed it out, splattering it across the ground and his armour, legs now finally giving up.
Surprisingly, Izuna caught her body as they collapsed to the dirt together, and her heart gave a lazy lurch at the way he cradled her close, so close. But it was only for a split second, the organ was too busy trying to make up for the blood she was losing to do more. Her eye sight was terrible, but, keeping the blade in to stop more blood-loss allowed it to be less hazy than if she was bleeding out heavily.
His confusion was burning her tongue like the lighting of his chakra burnt her senses, ozone and static. He blurted out a frantic, “Why!?” Because it was clear that she did not even try to dodge.
However, instead of giving him her entire thought process, knowing she did not have that long in the waking world, Tobirama instead growled out, “For the sake of our clans, the children. Let our brother’s agree to peace. Please.” The begging would be humiliating, but she would be alive long enough to feel it later. Let it be known that she begged to save the innocent before she died.
Izuna shook his head in disbelief, “No. No, you hate us! Why-“
“You’re dangerous. All of you. But I never hated you. Quite the opposite actually...” And a weak, pathetic laugh escaped her along with the blood in her lungs at the sight of sheer disbelief on his face.
“You...” He trailed off, unable to make a sentence at how caught off guard he was with what she was suggesting.
On top of all the logical reasoning for why she decided her death would be the one to least affect the clans’ future, the emotional part took charge as well. She didn’t want to kill the one person who took her seriously, who met her blade for blade with no faltering or underestimation of her skill. He yelled insults and tried to kill her, just as she tried to do the same. But in all that blood and screaming and death, she felt her weak heart falling.
Love came to her all encompassing and burning too bright. Her love was pure devotion and sacrifice, ready to do anything for the ones she held close to her heart behind the ice walls built around it. And Izuna’s lighting struck through it and and the wall was never rebuilt. Tobirama loved him. Tobirama hated him. Tobirama hated that she loved him.
“Pathetic, isn’t it?” She gasped out, the blade digging in deep in his shifting of surprise.
Still, he did not believe her, even on her death-bed, so to speak. “No, you’re lying. This-this is some-some kind of trick. Or-r manipulation-!“
Scoffing, Tobirama once more lamented over falling for such an idiot, “Believe what you want, Izuna. It’s the truth. Just,” And she found the strength to lift a hand up to grasp the back of his head, pulling him closer. With so little distance between them, she finally saw what he looked like without the blurred vision marring his features. He was beautiful. Even with his sharingan spinning rapidly as it took in every subtle gesture and words spoken in this moment. “Promise me, that you will allow peace. Please.”
“You say this like you don’t want it.”
Her strength gave out, hand slipping to fall into the place where their bodies met, and Tobirama turned her gaze up to the sky. The clouds were grey, and Tobirama could feel the storm coming, lighting and water creating electricity through the air above them. “I don’t even know what peace is, Izuna.” She admitted weakly, voice but a whisper now. No matter how long the blade stayed in to keep her blood in her body, she was still dying by the internal bleeding. It occurred to her that she could heal this, her chakra reserves not that low to begin with. But, she didn’t want to.
“How can you want something you’ve never seen or felt.” She wondered out loud mind going fuzzy. As her vision grew back, she murmured, “But what I do know, is that all I wanted, was you.”
Held in his arms, Tobirama let peace begin to settle over her, until she was jarred into wakefulness by Izuna picking her up. “Wha-what are you doing?” Her words a slur as she tried to figure out what was going on.
Scenery blurred, and not just from her bad vision, and the desperate cry that spilled from Izuna’s lips had dread flooding her systems when she realised what was happening. Izuna was calling for her brother. Her brother. Who could heal.
Weakly, she protested, wanting him to release her, but he held her firmly to his chest. She hated how her heart thumped weakly once more at how close they were to one another.
“Let me go, you idiot!”
He screamed back, panicked, angry, “I’m trying to save your life, moron!”
“Maybe I don’t want to be saved!” She barked back, more blood spilling from her mouth.
“You-” At loss of words, Izuna faltered, before screaming back, completely lost and frustrated with her protests, “WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU WANT TO BE SAVED!?”
Mortified, Tobirama yelled back, “It’s humiliating!”
Now he was angry, “What!? You confessed and now you want to die so that you don’t have to live through the shame of loving me!?”
“YES!”
“WELL FUCK YOU! YOU GET TO LIVE WITH IT!”
Their screaming drew an audience, and Tobirama was for once thankful that she couldn’t see any of their faces as her bother hurriedly reached her side and began to pull off her armour in order to heal the wound. This was embarrassing. Humiliating. The White Demon, confessing her love for Izuna, her enemy, with her dying breath. Only for the idiot to save her. She has brought shame upon her family.
All she could do was glare up at Izuna as she was unwillingly healed. But despite the way Izuna was mocking her for her melodramatic behaviour, he kept a tight grip on her hand, whilst the other cradled her head from laying on the rough ground.His chakra was buzzing and sparking with concern under that irritation. It was sweet, even though she continued to glare kunai up at him.
When the wound was safely healed, internal bleeding dealt with, it was Izuna who picked her up once more, and she growled, “Put me down, asshole.”
Irritated at her demand, Izuna tightened his grip and huffed, “No. You get to bare the shame of me carrying you like some damsel.”
With some strength regained, Tobirama felt around her leg for her weapons pouch, gritting out, “I can still stab you.”
“Yeah, but you love me. So you won’t.” Izuna snarked back. She would have become red with the absolute gall on this man, but she still was suffering with blood-loss.
Closing her eyes and relaxing into his warm hold, Tobirama sniffed disparagingly, “I don’t love you.”
He spluttered, stumbling for a second, face red, “YOu- YOU LITERALLY JUST-“
Her voice rose to cover his own yelling, declaring, “I’ve seemed to have suffered memory loss along with the lack of blood!”
“THAT’S UTTER BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!”
As they continued to bicker, Tobirama noticed that he was leading her to the Uchiha territory and fidgeted, wanting to be removed from his arms this instance. But still, he held on tight, his chakra tightly coiled like a snake ready to strike. Not her, but anyone who dared to remove her from his arms. So, weakly trying to cross her arms to show exactly how indignant she felt, the fell into mutinous silence. Until he mumbled something under his breath, but she couldn’t catch it.
Cracking an eye open, Tobirama muttered, “What?”
“I said-“ His voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat before continuing awkwardly, “I said, that I like you back.”
Behind them there was an exasperated, “Oh for fuck’s sake.” But both of them ignored it, just staring at one another, faces bright red and flustered.