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Chapter Text

Emily and Rossi exchanged looks.

“Penelope, are you trying to profile the dog?”

***
“Guys really, I’m fine, I don’t need to stay here.” Luke Alvez whined as he tried to escape from his hospital bed. But the three members guarding him, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, and Penelope Garcia would not let him.

“Luke, in bed now. Or I’ll kill you.” Garcia glared at the injured man putting him in place.

“Okay Garcia, I know what you mean, but tone it down a bit.” Rossi patted the blonde as she pawed at him playfully.

At the moment, their leader Emily Prentiss walked into the room gathering their attention.

“Alright Luke, the doctor says you have a concussion along with two broken ribs. He wants to keep you overnight for observation.”

Luke immediately started to protest.

“Oh come on! I’m fine. There’s no way I’m staying overnight.”

The three guards plus Emily once again pushed him back into the bed.

“Luke, there’s no fighting it. You are staying the night.”

The man finally conceded and let out a sigh. Rossi and Garcia helped to tuck him into the bed. His tired eyes were suddenly wide open as he remembered something.

“Roxy! Someone needs to go and take care of Roxy, she needs to be walked and she hasn’t even been fed. She’s been left alone all day-”

“We can go take care of her, don’t worry about it Luke.” Spencer assured him.

“Okay, her harness and leash is hanging on the wall beside the door as soon as you walk in, and she eats a mixture of wet food in the fridge with her dry food, and I also like to add some fresh fruits and vege-”

Rossi waved his hands in front of his face to get him to stop talking.

“How hard could it be? It’s just a dog.”

“You’re going to regret saying that.”

He pointed Rossi towards his house keys with a sleepy smile. The four of them said their goodbyes and dimmed the lights for him. Luke leaned into his pillow and chuckled.

“Roxy’s going to tear them apart.”

***

***

As the four of them walked down the hallway to the Alvez residence, the team discussed their dinner wishes as Penelope abruptly stopped them in their tracks.

“Roxy is four years old and a Belgian Shepherd. She’s probably going to be very mad, considering she’s been left alone all day. Also the fact that she’s only really met me and not you guys might affect things. And we didn’t really get off on the right foot. She is very loyal to Luke and has a bit of attachment issues so we should expect her to not be in a very good mood not because she hates us, but because she is worried about her owner.”

Emily and Rossi exchanged looks.

“Penelope, are you trying to profile the dog?”

Penelope stared them down.

“You don’t know what we’re up against.”

“Should I go get my vest?” Spencer sarcastically asked with a hint of genuine concern.

“Honestly, yes, I think you should.”

***

***

Fifteen minutes in and Luke’s apartment was already looking like the crime scenes that they investigated all too often. After being left for a little too long, Roxy had turned Luke’s living room into a playpen with torn pillows and blankets everywhere, books scattered onto the floor, and everything that could be possibly knocked over, was knocked over. The team was now trying their best to somehow negotiate a ceasefire with the canine in order to clean up the mess.

“There are four of us, and one dog! How are we losing?” Emily questioned.

“Hey, this is a new suit, Roxy, No!” Rossi jumped onto the nearest chair, which was useless as Roxy could easily reach him.

“Anything you want, Roxy, just leave my suit alone!”

One lick to the face sent Spencer scrambling to the sink for a wash, leaving Emily and Garcia to fend for themselves.

“Emily distract her, I’ll go find her treats.” The blonde took a dive towards the kitchen.

Prentiss gazed at the canine with panic, holding up a pillow as a shield.

“Garcia, I think she can tell that I am a cat person. She sees right through me.”

An excited Roxy and the agent danced in circles, with Prentiss trying her best to keep the focus on her.

“Watch any good tv shows lately, Roxy?” Emily asked.

“Really Emily?” Rossi mocked from his perch in the chair.

“I don’t know, what do dogs even like to talk about? Whatever it’s distracting her.”

Garcia slowly creeped back into the living room where Prentiss and Roxy were situated. She playfully shaked a bag of biscuits to gain the dog’s attention.

“Hey Roxy, look! We are your friends.” Garcia held up a treat.

“See friends.”

Roxy barked in her face.

“Well, that’s not nice Roxy. I will be speaking to Luke about your language. Now sit down and be respectful to your Auntie Penelope.”

After a head tilt of contemplation, Roxy decided it was in her best efforts to comply. She laid down and waited for her biscuit.

“See that wasn’t so hard?” Garcia teased as she tossed the treat towards the pup. When she turned to face her friends, she saw the aftermath of a genuine fight.

“Wasn’t so hard?” Spencer looked up in exhaustion as he tried to tame his tousled hair.

Rossi held back tears as he held his torn suit.

“All of my years in the FBI, no one has ever ruined one of my suits like this.”

Emily began to clean the disaster of litter on the floor, muttering about how cats are a much better companion to have.

Garcia held up Roxy’s leash and harness.

“Now who’s going to walk her?”

***

***

Luke made his way into the elevator of his apartment building with Matt Simmons following closely behind.

“Thanks for picking me up from the hospital, Garcia said she was going to but then for some reason she said she couldn’t.” Luke mentioned as he pressed the button to his floor.

“Yeah no worries, knowing Roxy she probably tired them out. I hope she wasn't too much trouble. You know how she can get around new people, she tore my shoes to shreds the first time we met.”

“Well she only does that to the people she truly likes. Plus they told me they could handle her.” Luke chuckled.

They walked down the hallway towards the entrance to his quarters.

“No barking sounds and no burning smells. I think they’ve done pretty well.”

“Don’t be so optimistic, they could all be dead.”

Finally, Luke turned his key and was greeted by a wagging tail. He got on his knees gingerly and started to pet his friend.

“Hi my girl, how are you? Did they take good care of you?”

Over on the couch were three bodies, all cuddled up and sleeping, the light from the television glowing on their faces.

An exasperated sigh brought their attention to the kitchen table where Rossi sat with his suit folded up neatly in his lap. Slowly, he got up, patted Luke on the shoulder and walked towards the door.

“I’ll come by and pick them up in the morning. Goodbye Roxy.”

Roxy responded with a cheerful bark and tilt of the head.

Matt and Luke both looked at each other confusingly.

“What happened?”

Chapter Text

“You know, you can let your walls down sometimes?”

“Okay you first.”

“You got me there.”

***

It had been an extremely hard case. The BAU had been working non-stop trying to locate an unsub who had kidnapped a child. A stressed out family mixed with no leads painted a scene of distress through the room. Everyone was on edge and exhausted and Emily knew that things were not looking good. As unit chief she knew that she needed to take hold of things not only for herself, but for her team. At this moment though, she knew that she needed to keep a look out for her own benefit. She could feel something in her coming on and knew that she had to get to her safe zone before people noticed. Her throat was starting to get lumpy, the feeling she knew all too well. She cleared her throat weakly to try and get the room’s attention, but she ended up having to stand on a tray to gather the room.

“Alright everyone, we’re not getting anywhere working like this. Go home, take a few hours to rest up and we will continue this in the morning.”

The murmurs of protest started quickly but Emily’s shaky tone turned stern.

“Enough. Go home. That’s an order.”

She knew that she was running out of time. That powerless feeling rushing into her veins. Quickly she exited the room and headed to her office.

***

***

David Rossi packed up the messy files on his desk and stuffed them into his briefcase. He decided that he was too tired to organize them right now, he would deal with it in the morning. But something in his gut made him think of Emily, something was off with her and he knew it. He constantly berated himself how he could never turn his profiling abilities off, he could always tell when something was wrong with his colleagues. Switching the lights off in his office, he started to head towards the office of the unit chief, the office he never wanted to reside in himself.

With a gentle knock on the door he poked his head in.

“Emily?”

He was greeted initially by an empty room. But his ears could pick up the faint sound of short quick breaths along with some soft sobs. A desperate voice called for him.

“Dave?”

The man cautiously went closer into the office to try and locate the source of the call.

“Are you okay Emily?’”

There was a pause.

“Can you close the door?”

“Yeah, of course.”

He closed the door secretly making sure no one noticed. Then he rushed to his colleague's side. Emily sat crossed legged on the floor. Both hands clutching her chest and neck as she tried her best to catch her breath. Rossi gently put his hands on her cheeks as her eyes darted everywhere. Her pulse was racing.

“Emily, I should call for help.”

That remark made her even worse. She gasped as she grabbed his arm.

“No, Dave. I’m just having a panic attack. I’ve had them before.”

The older man held her hand tightly.

“What should I do?”

Her eyes pleaded with him to stay.

“Sit. Sit with me please.”

He took a moment to contemplate whether he should override Emily’s request and go get help, but something inside him crossed out that decision. He sat down and stretched out his scuffed out boots, all while keeping his hand in Emily’s. The woman was starting to mutter things to herself, but loudly enough for the man to hear.

“I am okay.”

“I am safe.”

Rossi decided to repeat it back to her.

“You are okay.”

“You are safe.”

Emily tried her best to centre her breathing. Shakily she changed her tactics.

“Dave, help me point out five things in this room.”

He looked around for a second, trying to do anything that would help his friend. He scanned her bookshelf and pointed his hand to the third shelf.

“There are five succulents on your shelf. The only plants you can keep alive.”

A chuckle mixed with some labour gasps.

“I have five succulents on my shelf. Now four.”

The two of them peered around the walls.

Emily nodded towards the far wall.

“There are four pictures besides the windowsill.”

Rossi realized what she was doing and continued the action.

“You have three mugs on your desk.”

Slowly Emily’s breaths started to even out. They kept going.

“I have two eyes.” Emily stuttered.

Chuckling, Rossi took up the chance.

“And two at the back of your head.”

A smile broke on Emily’s face for the first time since Rossi had entered the room. The two took a moment to just calm themselves, neither one speaking but just breathing in from nose to mouth, nose to mouth. Taking in the presence of safety in Rossi, Emily took both of his hands in his and squeezed them tight.

“And there is one me.”

Rossi’s eyes glistened.

“There is only one you, Emily Prentiss.”

After he made sure that Emily was somewhat okay, he gently corralled her towards her couch, making sure the shaken agent was comforted in the best way possible. She took a seat and he went to grab her some water.

“So are we going to talk about this?”

“I mean do we really have to?”

“You know, you can let your walls down sometimes?”

“Okay you first.”

“You got me there.”

The pair scoffed at each other with smirks on their mouths. But after a beat, Emily slowly began her explanation.

“It started slowly after Ian Doyle. You know the case. I was always worried that he was going to get Declan. But I was able to push it aside, to cover it up. Plus Hotch made me go to therapy for a bit which did help a little. Until I stopped going. It just wasn’t fitting for me anymore.”

After placing the glass on a coaster, Rossi took a seat in the chair beside her.

“Trust me, I’ve tried the therapy route before too. It takes a while to find the right fit.”

Emily fidgeted with her already bare nails.

“It got a lot worse after Mr. Scratch. I just can’t stop worrying about someone. Even worrying about myself. I just don’t want anyone else to get hurt under my command. It just starts like a fire in my throat, and then next thing you know I can’t breathe.”

Rossi stroked the armrest of his chair.

“Everyone is alright Emily. We’ll get this unsub and the kid back.”

Tears were forming in Prentiss’ eyes.

“And what if we can’t? What if I let them down, what if someone gets hurt?”

“Then we will take that burden on together Emily. We are a team. You are not responsible for everyone’s actions, you are not responsible for everything that may or may not happen.”

Emily started sniffling again, prompting Rossi to embrace her as she cried.

“You are not alone Emily. You will never have to go through this alone ever again.”

Rossi could easily see that the woman was drained and was desperately in need of a good night’s rest.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

Before she could even begin to protest, Rossi lifted a finger up to her mouth.

“Nope, nothing you could say would make me change my mind. Now let’s go, I’ll even let you pick the music.”

Chapter Text

“Let me guess, you were a girl scout?”

“You know it.” Elle winked at her.

“You still got the uniform?” Morgan sneered.

***

“Alright quickly now, out of the car, we have work to do!” Jason Gideon’s boots hit the ground as he jumped out of the driver’s seat.

Slowly the rest of his team exited the vehicle.

“We’re supposed to be on vacation, this is supposed to be relaxing.” Derek Morgan cried out as he sipped on a can of lemonade.

“Time’s wasting Morgan!” Gideon started hauling their bags out of the car and putting them on the porch of the cabin. “Lots to be done, then we can relax!”

Spencer Reid stumbled out of the car with his bags, tripping over himself heavily.

“Damn pretty boy, did you bring your entire library with you?” said Morgan as he leaned on the car watching him struggle.

“No, not my entire library, I needed to save some space for my clothes.”

The distant sounds of Gideon rejoicing as he took in the sights of the lake made the two of them jump.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gideon this happy.” Spencer remarked.

“How could a lake make someone so happy, it’s just nature.” Derek swatted at a fly, groaning in despair. “Do we really have to stay here for three whole days?”

Gideon speed walked past them and addressed Morgan. “This is a team bonding event, and you’ll love it Morgan. I promise! Take a deep breath, smell the fresh air. Hear the birds chirping. It’s beautiful!” He threw his hands up in delight.

“Yeah I guess.” Morgan rolled his eyes and continued to sip on his drink.

“Well it has been consistently proven that nature has a positive effect on your mental health.” Spencer remarked.

“Three days in the forest with all of you. We’ll see about that.” Morgan scoffed as he finished off his drink.

The sounds of the second SUV pulling in caught their attention. “Finally the rest of the group is here, took them long enough!”

Gideon happily waved at the car as they drove by.

“Penelope probably made them stop for coffee.” Morgan snickered.

Four car doors opened revealing the figures of Hotch, JJ, Elle and Penelope, who held two trays of iced coffees joyfully.

“Sorry we’re a bit late. Garcia made us stop for coffee.” Hotch smiled as he took in the surroundings. “Nice place you’ve got here Gideon.”

“My pride and joy Aaron.” Gideon smiled.

Morgan went over to Penelope to help her with the drinks. The two of them rolled their eyes.

“If we were going to be stuck here out in the wilderness, we weren’t going to do it without coffee.”She handed Spencer and Morgan a cup.

“And that is why you are perfect.” Morgan poked her in the shoulder making her giggle.

“Oh come on you guys, the outdoors is not all that bad.” Elle poked the straw into her own cup.

“Some days out of the office will do us all some good.”

“Elle please. A couple days at a spa would have sufficed as well.” JJ poked at her. “Let me guess, you were a girl scout?”

“You know it.” Elle winked at her.

“You still got the uniform?” Morgan sneered.

“In your dreams, Derek” Elle walked away to help Gideon, who was now ecstatically explaining to Hotch the task of cutting firewood.

“These city kids are huge complainers, aren’t they?” Elle placed their coffees on a nearby tree stump. “

Don’t worry, we’ll show them that camping can be a good time. Did you bring the black sheet like I asked?” Gideon whispered.

“Of course” returned Elle with a grin.

In the distance Garcia and JJ jumped around swatting bugs.

“They don’t stand a chance.” Hotch laughed.

***

***

“Come on Reid, get in the water, see I even have a nice floatie here for you.”

Garcia tried to coax Reid into the lake as he sat persistently on the deck.

“No, I'm fine here thanks.” Spencer didn’t even bother to lift his head out of the book he was reading.

“Don’t waste your time Garcia, he’s too busy being lame.” Derek swam past the pineapple floatie that Penelope was lounging on in the water. “Do you even know how to swim Reid?”

“Of course, my mother insisted I took lessons.” Reid replied sarcastically.

“Prove it then Reid.” JJ taunted from the shore where her and Elle were tanning. “

I don’t need to prove anything to you guys.” Reid closed his book and crossed his arms.

“Reid can’t swim!”

“Yes I can! I just don’t want to, we don’t know what’s in the water.”

“Guys leave him alone.” Hotch called out from the boat that Gideon and him were sitting in.” And lower the volume, you’re scaring the fish away.”

“Stop using our noise as an excuse for you two being bad fishermen.” Elle called out. You need me to come and help you boys?"

“We’re just fine Elle. We’ll let you know if we need assistance” Gideon playfully called back. “But seriously, if you guys don’t pipe it down you’re going to be going to bed hungry.”

The group quieted down as Derek joined Penelope on the floatation devices, Elle and JJ back to their tanning, and Spencer back to his book.

“We actually have a plan B for dinner right? In case this doesn’t work out.”

“It’ll work out Aaron.”

“I have faith in you Jason, it’s just that I think they will genuinely eat Reid if we don’t provide a meal for them.” The two of them burst into a fit of laughter.

“There’s a corner store about a twenty minute drive from here." Gideon pointed out. "I was going to go either way since Garcia won’t eat fish.” 

Suddenly Hotch’s line started fidgeting around. “There we go!”

“Aha!” Gideon threw his arms in the air. The two of them jumped up in the boat and tried to reel the fish in.

“Hope one of them falls in.” Elle joked.

“Alright I’m bored.” Derek started paddling towards the deck.

“Where are you going babe?” Garcia asked.

“I’m going to throw Reid in the water.”

***

***

After a fulfilling evening meal of fish and tofu hotdogs cooked over the coals, the group sat around the fire as the sun went down.

“Spence you keep burning the marshmallows, hold it up higher above the flames,” JJ laughed as Spencer frantically blew on the burning marshmallow.

“That’s the fourth one you’ve burnt already.” Elle chuckled while she licked her sticky fingers.

“I kind of like them that way, they taste good charred.” Spencer replied calmly.

Everyone looked at Reid worriedly. “Let me throw him back into the lake.” Derek pleaded.

“I say we toss him into the fire.” Garcia joked.

“Hey!” Spencer punched Garcia in the arm. The two of them started fighting and chasing around the fire.

“If one of you falls in, I’m not helping you.” Gideon warned as he chewed on his smore.

Hotch got the group's attention by pointing up at the sky. “Guys look at the stars, it’s such a clear night.”

“Woah, it’s so pretty,” JJ called out.

“Could you see this at a spa JJ?” Elle asked.

“Yeah I’ll give you that, but that’s it.” JJ flicked off a mosquito on her leg.

The team continued to sit together, pointing out constellations and shooting stars, with Spencer giving definitive facts about them, all while getting hyped up on marshmallows. Eventually Gideon decided to turn in for the night.

“Don’t stay up too late you guys, you never know what’s lurking about in the woods,” he said spookily, twiddling his fingers towards Spencer.

“What does he mean by that?” Reid frantically asked.

“He’s kidding Reid.” Hotch said as he got up to follow Gideon.

“Or is he?” Elle teased. Garcia stuffed another marshmallow in her mouth.

“Mhmm! I never got to have these growing up, they are so good!”

Derek got up and took away Garcia’s marshmallow stick. “And you’ve had way too many baby.”

Garcia pouted while Derek grinned. “If the forest monsters are coming to get us, they’ll take you first, you’re like ninety percent marshmallow right now.”

“You’ll protect me?” Garcia played along.

“Of course my girl.” He took Garcia by the hip with a twirl. “Goodnight you guys.”

The two of them stumbled into the quarters for the night. The remainder of the crew sat and stared at the fire for a while.

“Did Gideon really say there’s something in the forest?” Spencer asked JJ.

“I’m not staying out long enough to find out. Come on, let's go. You’re okay Elle?”

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll put out the fire. Night guys.” Elle watched as the two of them entered the cabin leaving her alone. She leaned back in her chair and looked up at the stars once more.

“I really do love camping.”

***

***

“Morgan?” Spencer whispered gently at a sleeping Derek. 

A slurred groan was the only response he got back.

“I’ve got to go to the bathroom.”

“What time is it?” Derek groaned as he reached for his phone. “Seriously Spencer? I’m so tired.”

“I’ve really got to go.”

“Go by yourself.”

“What if there’s a bear?”

“There won’t be a bear kid.”

“Please Morgan?”

After a short period and an exasperated sigh, Morgan dragged himself out of his cot as Spencer danced around in place.

“Come on, make it quick.”

The two of them made their way a little out of their camp to let Spencer do his business. Morgan kept a very reasonable distance and hummed to himself to avoid hearing things. After a few minutes he expected Reid to come back to him pretty fast, but he only heard silence.

“Hey kid, you okay?”

Spencer popped up quickly and ran to him. “I heard something, there’s something there!”

“Spencer there is nothing there I swear-”

A branch crack stopped the two of them in their tracks. Derek turned the flashlight towards the mysterious sound to see a dark figure hidden behind a tree.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH”

The two of them came running back to the cabin waking up everyone inside. By the time they had entered through the doors, half of them were looking for their imaginary weapons.

“What the hell?” Hotch yelled out.

“There’s something in the forest. It was trying to get me!” Spencer yelped out.

“I saw it too!” Morgan gasped out.

“Wait where’s Elle?” JJ called out.

Gideon started to head towards the door. “Stay here, I’ll go and see.” He opened the door and took a few steps out, waving his flashlight around. Everyone stood in the doorway watching anxiously. As Gideon neared the trees he turned back and addressed the group. “I don’t see anything here- AHHHHH!”

The figure jumped out and brought him into the forest.

“It ate Gideon!” Spencer screeched.

The whole cabin jumped and ran out into the dark to try and find their friend. They stood in anticipation as Hotch began to devise a plan.

“JJ and I will head this way, Morgan and Reid head towards the lake. They couldn’t have gone far.”

“We should have never come here!” Derek yelled out.

As they were about to branch out, they began to hear the howls of laughter surrounding them. Elle and Gideon both walked out holding each other as they continued their laughing fit.

Spencer tilted his head in confusion as he processed what had just happened.

“We got you guys so good!” Hotch clutched his side in laughter as JJ whacked him with anger.

“Are you serious right now!”

Elle fist bumped a smiling Hotch.

“Who says camping can’t be fun?” Elle grinned. 

Morgan stood in silence, too tired to fight back. After a few moments of looking around he finally called out “Where’s Garcia?”

The group dashed back into the cabin to find their seventh member sound asleep in the corner of the room.

“How the hell did she sleep through that?”

***

***

Hotch checked his watch to see the time blinking back at him. 5:30 A.M. He quickly pulled his jacket on and his shoes and tried to make his way out of the cabin without waking anyone up. But he noticed that someone had already beat him to the firepit. The figure of Gideon was already sitting by the fire watching him.

“Coffee?”

“Sure. I thought I would catch the sunrise before everyone else got up.”

Gideon poured the hot liquid into a thermos and handed it to Hotch.

“Never miss it when I’m out here. Feels a lot slower for some reason, gives me a lot of time to just think. Forget about everything else that is going on. It’s just like we’re safe from the outside world. And it's nice to have a chat with the birds.”

The two of them sat in silence for a couple minutes, sipping on coffee and contemplating.

“I worry about them a lot.” Hotch ruminated while staring at the steam rising from his coffee. “I can’t stop thinking that something I do is going to end so wrong and so badly. How did you and Rossi do it? I constantly feel like I’m one step behind and missing something.”

“It’s all a lot of trial and error Aaron. You need to accept that you are not going to be perfect, you are going to make mistakes. And that’s fine. No one is going to blame you for it. You can’t let the job be all that you are, or it will ruin you.”

“They look up to us, they really do. I just don’t want to let them down.”

“They’re all going to be okay Aaron. You’ve got a pretty good team here.”

“We’ve got a good team here Jason.”

“Yeah, I think we must be doing some things right. But honestly, taking them on this trip might have been our worst idea yet.” Gideon chuckled. But it’s still not as bad as the time Rossi and I went on that sketchy alligator tour in New Orleans."

“Do I want to know?”

“I’ll save that story for a rainy day.”

Gideon poured himself another cup. 

“How’s Rossi been?” Hotch leaned back in his chair. 

“Heard he’s on another book tour.”

“I need to go see that guy.”

“You miss him?”

“Sure. But more importantly, he owes me $50.”

***

***

As the sun continued to rise, the remaining members of the BAU emerged from the cabin.

First out was Greenaway, yawning and scruffing her shoes along the dewy forest floor.

“Morning Elle, Coffee’s ready.” Hotch directed her to the mugs.

“Perfect. Say nothing more.” Elle yawned once more.

“How much longer until the others get up do you think?” Gideon questioned.

“Knowing how good we got Spencer, I doubt he even went back to sleep.” Hotch returned before they heard the cabin door open once more.

Next up was JJ, swaddled in a blanket, hair up in a messy bun.

Gideon silently handed her a cup of coffee which she accepted with a nod and took a seat beside Elle. The sun's beams creeping up on their faces. 

After a solid half hour, the remaining three members joined the group. Spencer wrapped in a blanket, eyebags adorning his face, and a sleepy Garcia leaning on Derek.

“Good morning.” Spencer mumbled out.

“Morning.” Derek plopped Garcia onto a stump. “

You guys are looking pretty rough.” Hotch remarked.

“Feeling rough too.” Garcia whined.

Gideon started to hand out the mugs and coffee.

“But it was worth it wasn’t it? You all had a good time?”

He received a bunch of groans and mumbles in return.

“Unbelievable. A beautiful time in nature and you are all acting like we’re at a crime scene.”

“If we don’t leave soon, it will become a crime scene.” Garcia threatened Gideon with an air knife across the throat.

“Grumpy grump grumpy! I guess some people really aren’t made for nature.”

“Let’s hit the road, come on you guys, load up the cars. We'll find a diner along the way to eat breakfast.” Hotch sipped the remaining coffee from his cup. 

The group suddenly sprung to life, blankets and cups flying everywhere, the caffeine kicking into full gear. Moving as fast as they could, they ran to gather their belongings.

“Let’s get out of here!” JJ gleefully yelled out.

Gideon and Hotch looked at each other and shook their heads.

“This is the most excitement I’ve seen from them the entire trip.”

“I’m just glad everyone is still in one piece.”

He patted Gideon on the shoulder and headed towards the cabin.

“Come on guys, let’s go home. Wheels up in 30!”

Chapter Text

“Why would we go to Trivia Night with Blake and Reid?

“They know everything!”

“Because my dear JJ, tonight’s topic is Pop Culture…”

***
“Hey JJ, you coming out tonight?” Morgan asked as the two of them exited the elevator onto the floor of the FBI that they called home.

“Hell yeah, after the day we just had, I need a drink. Where are we going?”

“Garcia’s got a table reserved at Alberto’s for us. And, it’s trivia night.” Derek held the door open for her as she walked in.

“Trivia Night? With Blake and Reid?”

“Yes Ma’am. Especially with Blake and Reid.”

“Why would we go to Trivia Night with Blake and Reid? She packed up her bag and threw it over her shoulder.

“They know everything! I don’t need to spend another night out knowing that Blake and Reid are incredibly smarter than me.”

“Because my dear JJ, tonight’s topic is Pop Culture.” He grabbed his own bag from his desk. “But we told them it’s History.” Morgan pumped his eyebrows as JJ’s eyes widened.

“Now I’m listening.”

As she said this Spencer ran past them nearly tripping on his sneakers. “Come on everyone! Let’s go!”

Derek grinned eagerly from ear to ear. “This is gonna be good.”
***

***
David Rossi and Aaron Hotchner hustled over to their busy booth, arms filled with four beers each and two trays of chicken wings and fries.

“Alright, alright, eat and drink up! You’ve all earned it.”

“Just keep the drinks coming and we’ll all be good.” JJ motioned for her empty coaster to be filled.

“Are you ready for trivia Reid?” Garcia asked as the young doctor stuffed fries into his mouth.

“Of course, I think this is something that Blake and I could actually win. Right Alex?”

“That trophy is ours Reid.” Blake took a swig of beer and fist pumped the air.

“Okay, let’s slow down on that so that you can still think when the game starts.” Reid placed her mug on a coaster.

“Oh please, I know more about history drunk than you do sober.”

Garcia and Morgan tried their best to stifle their laughter as the host tapped the microphone a few times to gain everyone’s attention.

“It’s time to start tonight’s trivia match! My name is Sam and I’ll be your host for tonight. Who’s ready?”

The group hooped and hollered as loud as they could.

“Today I see we have three rowdy teams competing for the coveted Alberto’s Trivia Trophy. First up we have Dana’s ladies.” they pointed towards a booth on the other side of the pub.

A group of girls clearly there for a bachelorette party screamed in their tutus and fairy wings, already way too far gone to actually focus.

“In the middle over here we have the Station 31 Fire Department.”

A huge group of firefighters roared in anticipation.

Garcia started to get up with Morgan pushing her back in place.

“Forget trivia! Let’s go say hello” Garcia played.

“Oh no we’re not, baby girl, focus on the big picture.” Morgan laughed.

“And last but not least in the booth over here we have…” the host squinted a bit closer at the index card they were holding. “We have Penelope's... furry friends!”

The whole team angrily looked at a grinning Garcia.

“I think it’s a great name!” Garcia smiled.

“You literally had one job.” Morgan growled.

“And I did the job perfectly baby, you’re welcome.” Garcia bowed her head in gratitude.

“Alright, if everyone’s ready we can get started on tonight’s topic: Pop Culture!”

The team yelled out and laughed while two members stayed silent.

In unison both Blake and Reid called out confusingly.

“Pop Culture?”
***

***
The music continued to pump through everyone’s ears as the host began the game.

“I’d honestly be impressed if they were able to make it to ten points.” Hotch continued to munch on his basket of fries.

Reid squinted his eyes as he heard the first question. “Who’s Taylor Swift?”

Rossi almost spat out his drink. “Hotch please, ten’s too high, make it five.”

“Swift, I think he’s an actor,” Blake replied.

Hotch and Rossi just shook their heads.

“I think it’s going to be a long night, Aaron.”

“Just keep the fries coming Dave.”
***

***
Sam recited the question off of their card.

“Complete the lyrics to this song: Hey, I just met you and this is crazy.”

Blake blankly looked at Reid. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve listened to something from the past decade. You?”

“No, I really prefer classical music.” Reid replied while nervously tapping the marker on the table. “Just answer it, we’re running out of time.” He handed the marker to Blake.

The bell went off indicating that their time was up.

“Station 31 what did you have as your answer?”

Sam turned to the firefighters to see what they had concluded for their response.

A panicked Reid turned to Alex, “Just write something down!”

“Uh okay, how about this,” Blake hurriedly scribbled something onto the whiteboard.

Garcia took one look at the board and buried her face in her palms.

“How could you let my girl Carly Rae Jepsen down like this.”

“Who?” Reid replied.

Garcia pulled on her hair. “You’re killing me Reid.”

“I’ve never seen him this stumped.” Rossi chuckled.

“The gears are really turning,” Hotch smiled.

Sam turned to them and pointed at Reid and Blake. “Alright Furry friends! Let’s see what you’ve written down.”

They both timidly flipped their answer to be seen by their host. Sam could barely say the words on the board.

“Let’s… go to the penitentiary.” They turned away to try and disguise their reaction but it was obvious they were howling with laughter.

Alex put her hands up in opposition. “The lyrics simply implies that the action they are doing is crazy, resulting in the fact that maybe they would want to institutionalize themselves.”

“How? How did you get that? I’m so lost with how your brain works sometimes Alex.” JJ patted an embarrassed Blake on the shoulder.

“It was a logical deduction of language!” Reid nodded his head in agreement.

Meanwhile Sam had continued on to the next team.

The group of girls sang the correct lyrics at the top of their lungs, completely out of tune. “But here’s my number, so call me maybe!”

Hotch tipped his beer at Rossi. “I knew that one.”

“Me too. You a fan?”

“Jack, has it playing every chance he gets. How about you?”

“I’m genuinely a fan. It’s a good song.”

“Now that Dave does not fit your profile.” Hotch sneered as he finished off the last wing. “More wings guys?”
***

***
“Okay the next question: Name a Disney Princess.”

Blake accepted her fate and went for her beer. “Never did princesses, I was reading Shakespeare by the age of six.”

Reid confidently wrote down a name. He smiled as he put the cap on the marker. JJ peered over and burst into laughter.

“Spence, Princess Diana was not a Disney Princess.”

“She was a princess though? Shouldn’t that give us a point?” Reid slumped over onto the table. “We're never going to get any points!”

JJ turned to the group. “We have to help them, this is getting pathetic.”
***

***
“Who is the author of the Twilight series?”

Blake jumped up in her seat and squealed. “I actually know this one!”

“You read Twilight?”

“What can I say? It pairs really well with a bottle of wine. Stephanie Meyers!”

Reid wrote down the answer and two of them danced around with delight.

“Don’t judge me for liking Twilight, okay Reid?”

“I don’t care, we got a point! We got a point Blake!”

“They know they’ve gotten like eight wrong already,” Rossi remarked.

“Let them have this, it’s important for them to stay positive.” Garcia poked Rossi in the arm. “Besides, how many have you gotten right?”

“You underestimate me Penelope, I do know my pop culture.”
***

***
After a long night of terrible answers, and one too many drinks, the group stumbled out of the parking lot towards their cars.

“I hate being the designated driver, but someone has to get these geniuses home.” Morgan sighed as Reid and Blake both skipped together singing about trigonometry.

Hotch stopped them before they wandered off, directing them towards the cars.

“Did you guys have fun?” Hotch held a tipsy JJ as she twirled her hair.

“No, that was a terrible experience. We only got one point.“ Alex cried out, and then burst into laughter. “We really don’t know anything!”

Derek opened the car doors and guided his friends in. “There’s a whole world out there that you don’t even know about. Trade the books for a video game and see where that takes you.”

“I’d rather not thank you.” Alex jumped into the backseat.

“All those Phd’s, and you couldn’t even name a single Star Wars movie. Come on now, that's just sad.” Garcia giggled as she watched Reid fumble around attempting to put his seatbelt on.

“It would have been nice to get that trophy though. Maybe we’ll have to study up a bit and try again. Or we could steal it from those firefighters!” Reid slurred out. “Morgan, I need help.” he gave up on his seatbelt and waited for Derek to assist him.

“We could watch a movie or two a week. For research purposes.” Blake chimed in.

The group waved at the other car with Rossi, Hotch and JJ driving away.

“Okay but can we actually go to a history trivia night? Please?” Spencer begged.

“Already checked, there’s one happening at Pride’s Bar on Friday. Don’t worry Reid, we’ll get your confidence right back before you know it.” he turned the ignition on and turned to the three glazed faces staring back at him. “Now if one of you even dares to puke in my car, I will end you.”

Garcia took the aux and plugged her phone in. “You guys, I have the perfect song for us to listen to.” She giggled as she scrolled through her phone while Derek pulled the car out of the parking lot. “You’re gonna love it!” She turned the volume up as high as it could go. The beat immediately resonated throughout the car.

“I threw a wish in a well…”

Chapter Text

“Alright boys, looks like your dad is here.”

They were greeted by a scowling face with silver hair.

“I told you guys to blow off some steam, not end up in jail!”

“A whole weekend off!” Spencer twirled around in his chair with delight.

“A whole weekend off with the boys.” Luke chimed in. “This is going to be so good!”

“A whole weekend off with the men. Matt Simmons corrected his friend. “I have boys, and they are absolute monsters.”

A speedy Rossi whizzed past them on the way out.

“What are you going to do with your free time Rossi? Want to come out with us?” Luke prodded.

“No Luke, I have my own ways of relaxing. He stopped to address the crew. “You guys on the other hand, just need to get out and get rid of all your pent up energy. Go punch some things, throw some axes. Drink some beer. Trust me, you’ll come back on Monday and thank me.”

“Sounds like good advice to me, thanks Dave.” Matt smiled.

Rossi picked up his briefcase and walked out the door without even bothering to look back. “Nobody contact me, we are out of office until Monday! See you!”

The group waved at their senior agent as he almost skipped on the way out.

“What do you say boys? Axe throwing?” Matt suggested.

“Sounds good to me. Reid?”

“I don’t think I’ll be very good at it, but I think it will be worth a try.” Reid straightened his shoulder bag.

“That’s the spirit kid,” Matt patted Reid on the shoulder.

“As long as we got a place to play and drink. We’re gonna have a good time.” Luke opened the door and ushered his friends out the door.”

“Boys' night!”
***

***
After an hour or so of axe throwing along with a couple pints, the trio was continuing to try to teach Reid how to throw an axe with unfortunately no success.

“I’m doing what you’re telling me Matt, I don’t know why it’s not working.” Reid frustratingly whined.”

“Don’t worry Reid, practice makes perfect. You can’t be good at things instantly.”

“Don’t talk to me like that, I’m not one of your kids.” Reid laughed.

At the signal of a red light, Luke entered the lane and began throwing his axes, landing all three in the middle of the target. Matt and Reid clapped and cheered.

“You just have to imagine the target as someone you hate.” Luke suggested. “I like to think of the target as my neighbour who always gets mad at Roxy's barking. I mean it doesn’t help that you are already pretty wasted. Can you even see the target?” He laughed as Reid tripped over his shoes getting up.

A couple lanes down, another trio of men were getting a bit rowdy.

Matt stood with his back to them but talked to Luke.

“Those guys have been eyeing us the whole night, have you noticed?”

“Yeah they don’t look like they’re up to any good.” Luke replied. “Just keep an eye out.”

Once again, the light turned red, signaling that it was the appropriate time to throw axes at their desired target. This time Reid picked up the tool and aimed as best as he could, giving a hard throw. The axe decided to gain some airtime, bouncing off of the target and back over Reid’s head who ducked quickly. The axe landed between the feet of one of the rowdy bunch who was walking past their lane. He angrily flicked his hands up at Reid.

“Watch it dumbass!”

“Hey! Don’t say that to him.” Luke directed him.

“Yeah, well your guy almost hit our guy.” He posted up towards Luke.

“Well, your guy.” Reid threw up air quotes for emphasis. “He should have noticed that the light was on red for throwing, indicating that everyone is supposed to stay in their lanes.” Reid called out in his direction.

As he was saying this more from the group started to gather around, outlining the three friends.

“What’s going on Nick? These guys causing problems?” They all asked. Clearly smirking and scouting for trouble.

Reid could sense that something bad was brewing. He moved besides Matt, ready to take action if needed.

“Hey come on, this is just a misunderstanding.” Matt tried to handle the situation.

Another man chimed in on the conversation with a smirk.

“Come on, we don’t want to mess with these boys. Look, they’re on a date.”

The group started making kissing noises to add onto their teasing.

“Maybe they’ll let us watch later when they get into bed-” the guy’s words were caught off with a punch to the face.

The punch belonging to the fist of Luke.

Luke was then taken aback, as another body kicked him hard in the ribs. He fell down with an angry grunt.

“Are you kidding me, what the fu-” Matt took on the guy who joined in.

Spencer ducked as a swing was sent his way. “Woah!”

Before the managers were able to act, all three agents were in a full on brawl throwing punches and words like the drunken buffoons that they currently were. By the time they came to their senses they were already in handcuffs.

“Oh shit.” Spencer laughed out. “We’re in trouble now.” He continued laughing.

“This is not good.” Luke gritted out.

“Not good at all.” Matt finished.
***

***
Luke admitted to himself that the coolness of their jail cell bars felt pretty good on his throbbing face.

Spencer paced around the cell, still hyped up from the energy of the fight. He cooed at the female officer reading a newspaper. “It’s not even my first time here. I’m pretty tough.”

Luke laughed as he heard Reid’s remark. “Boy, you hid behind Matt like a baby bear.”

“It was a strategy, I was waiting for the right time to attack. And when I did, I threw hard.” He started to punch the air excitedly.

“I’ve got to admit it Reid, you can throw a hell of a punch.” Luke switched to the metal bench and lay down turning his face onto it. “Yeah, that feels good.”

“Learned a lot in jail, Luke. I can take care of myself.” He paused for a moment to notice Luke’s bruised knuckles. But thanks for having my back there.” Spencer muttered.

“And I would do it again. No one messes with my brother Spencer.” Luke sat up. “And Matty here would say so too, but give him some time, he’s decompressing the situation.”

“This is so bad.” Matt cradled his knees and sat in the corner.

“Simmons, you were literally in the military. It’s going to be alright.”

Matt continued to stare at his shoes. “I can’t believe I’m in jail.”

The officer looked awkwardly at Matt.

“He’s a big softie. He doesn’t get into trouble that much. Goody two shoes, student leadership in high school, never even got a traffic ticket.” Luke explained.

“Oh what am I going to tell Kristy!” Matt continued to spiral.

“Just tell her that you were doing the right thing. She’ll understand.” Spencer tried to help.

In the distance, footsteps could be heard coming their way.

“Did we order delivery? I hope it’s burgers!” Spencer joked, still dazed out of reality.

The officer took out his keys and unlocked the cell.

“Alright boys, looks like your dad is here.”

They were greeted by a scowling face with silver hair.

“I told you guys to blow off some steam, not end up in jail!”

Spencer raised his hands up in delight. “Rossi!” He ran over and embraced him in a hug with Rossi pushing him off grumpily.

“Are you guys okay?” He looked at Matt sitting on the floor.

“Yeah we’re fine.”

“Let’s get out of here.” he pointed towards the door as the two other agents exited the cell.

“Thanks for getting us out.” Luke acknowledged.

“Don’t thank me for anything.” Rossi held up a shaky Simmons who was sniffling. He pushed them all towards the exit.

Spencer hopped beside Dave as he made a request.

“Rossi, can we get burgers? I’m so hungry!”

***
To the ambient sounds of old school 90s rock, the four men squeezed into a booth together. Reid happily devoured a burger while Luke and Matt poked around at their fries.

“Don’t worry Kristy, I’ve got Matt here with me. He’s fine and I’ll get him home real quick alright? No worries, I’ll see you soon.” Rossi hung up the phone and tucked it into his sweatshirt pocket.

“Twenty Four hour diners are always better in the middle of the night. It just has this kind of feeling you know?” Spencer remarked as Rossi confusingly stared at him. “Do you think we could also get some milkshakes?”

Rossi turned back to the other two men who could not even make eye contact with him, silence keeping the table hostage. With a giant sigh Rossi picked up his burger and spoke up.

“Alright so are we going to talk about this or what? I didn’t get out of bed this early in the morning for nothing.” He took a huge bit of his burger, sauces seeping out. After a moment of silence he eyed down Luke who opened his mouth.

“We were axe throwing, just having fun. But then these guys were messing around too much. They were clearly looking for trouble. I know we should have just kept our heads down and moved on, but Rossi, the stuff they were saying about us. It was stupid I know. I don’t know why I did it.”

“Luke, I’ve never seen words get to you guys so badly. I mean we deal with unsubs who verbally abuse us all the time.”

“I really don’t know why it got to me so badly, I just felt so angry.” Luke took a sip of his drink then held it up to his quickly forming black eye.

“What the-” Rossi turned to see that Spencer's smiling face was abnormally close to his face.

“Milkshakes?”

“Kid, get out of my face right now.”

He flagged down a waitress.

“One chocolate milkshake please.”

Spencer clapped to himself and went back to eating.

Rossi turned to the only other silent member of the group who was eating with tears in his eyes.

“And Matt, you’re a father, this is not a good example to display for your kids. But I think you know that already.” Rossi popped another set of fries into his mouth.

“I know Rossi, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I did this.” he voice broke on the last words as continued to heave and swallow.

“Woah, woah, Matt come on now, there’s no need for that. How drunk are you guys?”

“Matt and Reid don’t get out much, two drinks got them pretty good. I shouldn’t have let things get so out of hand.”

“Matt, eat your food, I can’t send you home to Kristy like this.”

“Oh Kristy,” Simmons picked up his burger and alternated between whimpers and bites.

The waitress returned with a chocolate milkshake adorned with a cherry. Spencer practically squealed like a child as he took it in his hands.

“Luke, you’ve got to keep your head up, look at the bigger picture. Sure those guys were annoying, but was it worth it?”

For the first time Luke looked Rossi in the eyes.

“I’m sorry Dave. But it was worth it. Matt and Reid are family, and I won’t let anyone mess with them. But I understand what you’re saying. It won’t happen again.”

Rossi paused for a moment, and looked the younger man directly in the eyes.

“No it won’t Luke. You know why? You are federal agents, you have a privileged responsibility. You can’t just go beating up people who piss you off. If you lose trust, you will lose it all. It’s not easy to gain respect back.”

He crumpled up his napkin and threw it onto his empty plate.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this stuff, when you won’t even remember half of it in the morning. Maybe it’s more of a reminder for myself.”

Matt spoke up. “No, I’ll remember this Rossi. Thank you for the lesson.”

Luke stretched and yawned. Then a realization hit him.

“Are you going to tell Prentiss about this?”

“Luke, who do you think gets called when three BAU agents get arrested? She sent me to collect you guys. If it was up to her she probably would have made you guys stay the night.”

Reid was now petting his milkshake and explaining to it his favourite places at CalTech.

“Alright let’s get you home. We’ll deal with this more in the morning when you’re sobered up. I’ll drop of Matt first, then you and Spencer can spend the night with me. I don’t need you two getting into more trouble.”

Rossi starting hustling the guys out of the diner and towards the car.

“Thanks Rossi, I really mean it.” Luke glanced at his watch and winced at the time. “Sorry we ruined your weekend.”

“No problem, I’m just glad you guys are okay. He took his thumb and swiped Luke’s eye. I mean that eye though. Why are you letting people whoop you like that?”

“They were big guys, Rossi, you should have seen them!”

Matt shuffled along behind them, the exhaustion of the day finally hitting him. Meanwhile Spencer was still hopping around.

“Rossi, I could take anyone on right now, I am so powerful.” Reid was punching his imaginary punching bag while Rossi pushed him towards the car.

“Save it Reid, you have done enough fighting for one day.”

“I am invincible!”

“Tell me that again in the morning.” Rossi closed the door.

Spencer was asleep in five minutes.

Chapter Text

“Thanks. Seriously. I guess I’m not used to being cared about this much.”

“You are a member of our team. We protect our own.”

Reid checked his watch for the third time as everyone was gathered in the kitchen area getting gulping down coffee and breakfast for their day ahead.

“Blake is late? That’s unusual. She’s such a stickler for time management.”

“She probably just got stuck in traffic or something. We can't be perfect all the time, Reid.” Morgan replied as he picked up one of the croissants from the box of pastries.

“From Nelly’s Bakery on 4th Avenue. Garcia you sure are a treasure for bringing these.”

“Only the best for my favourite team.” Garcia smiled.

Rossi and Hotch both had their noses in the newspapers, discussing the sports highlights from the night before.

"I never knew you liked hockey so much Hotch.”

“I don’t. But Jack is really taking a liking to it, so I better get used to it.”

A flushed Blake came rushing in, placing her stuff at her desk and quietly joining the group. JJ noticed that Blake was clearly shaken up by something.

“Hey Alex, you okay?”

“Oh yeah, I just had a bit of a rough morning. I kind of got mugged.”

She reached into the cabinet and grabbed a mug revealing her bandaged hand. “They took my badge so that might be a little bit of a problem. Is the coffee ready?”

She turned to see the look of shock on her colleagues' faces.

“Guys don’t worry I’m fine- it was just a couple of guys, maybe a knife or two.”

“A knife!” Garcia gasped.

“Yeah they pushed me to the ground and took my wallet and badge. Hurt my hand too as you can see. Nothing too much.”

“Alex, you are literally describing aggravated assault.” JJ took her hand in her own and began inspecting it.

Alex politely swatted her hand away.

“Oh, it’s not that bad. Really I’m fine. I already reported the theft. Local PD and IG are already on it. I gave them my statement at the hospital.”

“At the hospital!” Rossi raised his voice in anger. “I’m going to kick their ass.”

“Rossi, I’m fine, I’m just more pissed that I let this happen to me. I should have been more aware of my surroundings.”

“I’ll go and check to see if there’s any security cam footage, I recently installed some new face recognition software that could help.” Garcia caressed Alex’s hair, visibly cringing as she noticed a bruise starting to form on her face.

“I’ll connect with the local PD, see what they have so far. Do you need anything Alex?”

“Yeah a repeat of the last few hours” she sarcastically replied.

“Not funny.” The two of them went on their way.

Hotch had already left the space as his phone went off, walking away as the other three men swarmed her, arms crossed and furious.

“Tell us who did this, now.”

“Okay Morgan, tone it down.”Alex had her hands up defensively.

Reid pulled out a chair and motioned for her to sit down. “Blake, seriously. Did you recognize them?”

“No, it all just happened so fast. I got out of my car and next thing you know I was on the ground. It was so weird they didn’t even take my gun.”

“Muggings are happening in packs a lot more often now, but why did they choose you?”

“I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Blake, you are also a federal agent, this could be targeted.” Rossi continued his pacing around the table.

“Who cares about federal agent, Dave. A woman can’t even walk by herself without getting attacked? I can't even feel safe in my own neighborhood anymore.” She glanced at the floor for a few seconds. “I should call James. Tell him what happened.” She reached for her phone.

A frustrated Morgan kicked the table, startling Reid.

“Okay there’s no need for that.” Alex raised her voice.

“I’m going to go and see if Garcia needs help.” Reid quickly walked away.

“Don’t scare Reid like that, you know he’s sensitive.”

“All this and you are worrying about him right now?”

“That isn’t going to help Derek. Getting angry won’t change anything.”

“Then what can I do?” Morgan sat beside Alex desperately.

“Dave?” Hotch peered through the door to get the other agent’s attention.

“Yeah.” Rossi walked through the door that Hotch was holding open for them and they exited towards the elevators.

“Well that doesn’t look good.” Morgan remarked.

“Not good at all. You know how you can help me?” She handed him her empty mug. “Fill this up. I need fuel if I’m going to have to phone my credit card companies. And make one for yourself too, you’re going to help me. Unless you still want to punch something?”

Morgan visibly relaxed and let out a sigh.

“How are you so calm Alex? You were literally just attacked.”

“Things happen to us everyday. We can't escape danger. But I’m okay Derek.”

Morgan took the mug.

“I know.”

***

***

Hotch and Rossi walked up to Blake’s desk with a plastic evidence bag containing her wallet and credentials.

“One badge and one wallet.” Hotch plopped the bag on the desk.

“You couldn’t have done this just a tad bit earlier? I just cancelled my cards.” Alex teased as the two superior agents stood firm. “What happened?”

“Blake, they were just a bunch of idiot kids, way out of their league.” Rossi explained. “They had no idea what they were doing. By the time they saw your gun they knew they were way in over their heads and ran away. They turned themselves in because they were so guilty.”

“They’re not going to escape this. They’re going to at least be on a young offenders watch list.” Hotch continued. “Plus if you choose to press charges-”

“I won’t. They’re kids. They don’t need that. Anything else I need to do?” 

“You will be required to submit release paperwork and another statement as the investigation continues. But it does seem straightforward as a random clueless attack.”

“Like I said. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Just some bad luck.”

“No Blake. One of our own got hurt. And we take that very seriously.” Hotch sternly looked Alex in the eyes. "I had to restrain Dave here multiple times or else he would have thrown hands at them." 

"I was just going to give them the same bruises that they gave to Alex. It's the least they deserve." Rossi shrugged.  Blake returned with a sheepish smile. 

“Thanks you guys. Seriously. I guess I’m not used to being cared about this much.”

“You are a member of our team. We protect our own.”

***

***

As the sun finally went down, all Alex wanted to do was get home and wash off the day. As she made her way towards her car. she noticed the figure of Derek Morgan standing there waiting for her.

“Let me drive you home.” Morgan started.

“Oh that’s not necessary Derek, I’ll be okay.”

“Nope, no fighting me Blake, let’s go.” He pointed towards his truck. After a moment of contemplation she gave in and walked to his passenger door.

“Fine, it will be faster to just go with you than to fight you.”

They drove for a bit in silence with the soft radio keeping things from being totally awkward. At a red light Morgan decided to speak his mind.

“I want you to do refresher hand to hand combat training with me. I signed us up for a class starting next week.”

“Morgan, it really was nothing, it was just a little- “

“It wasn’t little to me Alex, I don’t want to be negative, but maybe next time it could be worse. If something more had happened to you Blake, I don’t know how I would forgive myself.”

“Morgan, you don’t need to worry about me like that.”

“Alex, I do. I know you don't know much about Emily, but she was my partner and I let her down. I need to make sure that never happens again. I need to make sure you will be okay when I’m not there for you.”

A pause filled the air as Blake took in his words. “Derek. I’m sorry, I know how protective you get over us. Thank you for caring about me.”

She squeezed his arm on the steering wheel assuringly.

“I’d love to do training with you. On one condition."

"Yeah?"

"You have to bring me one of those croissants from Nelly's on the first day."

Derek let out a huge laugh as the light turned green. 

"You have got yourself a deal Blake." 

Chapter Text

“Oh.” Reid smiled to himself.

“I can’t believe I just saw that with my own two eyes,” Matt shook his head.

“JJ is going to be so mad she missed this.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never had bubble tea before Reid.” Garcia squirmed around in her chair as she waited with Matt and Reid. “Tara and I get bubble tea at least once a week.”

“I guess, I don’t try new things that often. But I am trying to change that. Hence me being here with you guys.” Reid said.

“Well, I think you’ll love it, Reid. Bubble tea is super addicting. The kids are obsessed with it, I use it a lot in my negotiation tactics.``

“Alright, here we go!”

Tara came rushing to the table holding four beverages in her hands all holding liquids ranging in a rainbow of different colours.

“Strawberry green tea with pearls for Garcia, Taro slush with coconut jelly for Matt, and for Reid, a coffee milk tea. I think this will be the best bet to get you into bubble tea.”

“Well, I do like coffee.” Reid grabbed the drink. He squinted his nose as he looked at the bottom.

“What are these black things?” Reid shook the cup spiraling the contents inside.

“Pearls. The texture is kind of weird, it might take a moment to get used to them. If you don’t like them that’s fine too, there’s lots of different toppings you can try.”

Matt lifted up his drink. “I switched to jellies, since the kids can’t stand pearls. But it’s really up to personal preference.”

“No other way to find out than to try it.” Tara nudged Reid to start.

“Wait! Let me get my phone ready”. Garcia whipped her phone out. “I want to record his reaction.”

“Okay, let’s do this.” After flipping the cup around in his hands a couple times, Reid placed the drink on the table and attempted to peel the sealed lid off with his fingers.

“What are you doing? Tara, what is he doing?” Matt watched in horror as Reid took the drink to his mouth to try and pull the plastic off with his teeth. “Tara stop him!”

Garcia held the phone, mouth open in disbelief.

“Reid.” Tara pulled the drink away from his hands. “There is a straw.” She handed him the device.

“Oh.” Reid smiled to himself.

“I can’t believe I just saw that with my own two eyes,” Matt shook his head.

“JJ is going to be so mad she missed this.” Penelope propped up the phone on her purse to continue to capture her friend’s reaction.

“So you take the straw like this.” Tara demonstrated as Reid followed feebly. “And you poke it through the middle.” She rammed her straw into the drink as Reid concentrated on her movements. He did the same exact thing, heaving the straw in with a pop. He jumped in his seat excitedly as everyone cheered.

“And now you take a sip.”

Like a sheepish toddler, Reid slowly lifted the straw up to his mouth and took a long sip. The three others leaned in closer to the table in anticipation of his response. With a gulp Spencer placed the drink back down on the table.

“So? What do you think?” Garcia asked.

Reid held his finger up to signal them to continue their patience.

“I like it. I think?” He took another sip.

“It’s interesting, that's for sure.”

“Oh he hates it.” Garcia fell back into the chair.

“No no no, give him some time. It’ll grow on him.” Tara said.

Reid’s eyebrows lifted as he chewed on the pearls.

“No, look at his face, he likes it. He really likes it.” Matt laughed.

“It’s cool.” Spencer smiled. “Yeah, I think I really do like it.”

“He can try a new flavour each week. It’ll be like a nice experiment.” Tara chuckled as she sipped on her own drink.

“I do not like being used as an observant, but I do like the concept of hanging out with you guys.”

“It’s always a good time with you Reid.” Matt smiled. “As long as you don’t go trying to pull off the wrappers again. I’m still very mad at you for doing that.”

“I didn’t know any better!”

“Not even my kids would try to do that. So embarrassing Reid.”

***

***

Emily, JJ, Tara, and Penelope all stood at the doors of the bullpen watching the scene in front of them unfold.

“The last time I saw him like this, we had just pulled an all-nighter and he tried Rossi’s espresso machine for the first time.” Garcia watched amusedly.

“What did you give him?” Emily asked.

Spencer was rolling his chair around the bullpen, peddling around with one leg and pretending he was a race car.

“Faster and faster, whoosh whoosh!” He sped past the four women watching him suspiciously.

“He just tried bubble tea for the first time. Plus it was coffee too.” Tara remarked.

“Reid, with sugar? Yeah that makes sense now.” JJ chuckled.

An employee jumped out of the way as Spencer nearly ran him over.

“Reid, I swear if you injure someone,” Emily raised her voice in warning.

“Emily, please chill. Maybe you should have some bubble tea, make you happier.”

“Did he just-“

“Okay,” Tara stepped in between to make sure Emily stayed put. “I mean look at him, he’s like a little puppy. Let him have his fun.”

“I AM INVINCIBLE!” Reid screamed out.

Rossi poked his head out of his office. “Do I want to know?”

The four ladies all shook their heads.

“Alright.” He closed his door.

“Maybe next time we should make sure his drink is decaf.” Garcia said.

“He’s bouncing off the damn walls.” JJ laughed.

Suddenly the sounds of a crash caught their attention as Reid barrelled into his own desk, tossing him onto the ground with his mismatched socks and converse straggling in the air.

“Ouch.” Garcia covered her eyes.

“Oh, that is going to hurt.” JJ cringed.

“Maybe I’m not so invincible.” Spencer tried to untangle himself from his mess.

“That’ll teach him.” Emily crossed her arms. “You okay Reid?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Spencer held two thumbs up.

“I really wished someone got that on video.” Tara sighed.

“Tara please, it’ll be on the surveillance tapes.” Garcia smiled.

“Garcia, you are an absolute pleasure.”

“I’m going to make a meme out of it. Morgan is going to love it.”

Chapter Text

“We’re going to go to the BAU, you’ll take a nice little nap in your office, and then you will be good. Right Dave?”

“Who’s Dave?”

“You. You're Dave.”

“Oh my goodness Dave, stop licking the window! Don’t make me pull over this car.”

“But Emily, I’m so hungry. I just want a ham sandwich.” David Rossi whined as he sat in the passenger seat.

“You can’t have any solids right now, the dentist said you can have some soup though. We could pick some up.” Emily Prentiss said as she sat at the wheel.

“We could pick some up.” Rossi’s face lit up in delight. “We can take the jet and go to Italy, there is some soup there! Emily, I’ll drive.”

“Dave, you are so high right now.” Emily smiled.

“I feel like I’m floating.”

“Yeah, well that’s the drugs. They’re hitting you pretty hard. Remember, you just got some teeth taken out?”

“Where are we?” His glazed eyes focused on Emily.

“We’re going to go to the BAU, you’ll take a nice little nap in your office, and then you will be good. Right Dave?”

“Who’s Dave?”

“You. You're Dave.”

“Oh.” he slumped back into his chair and giggled.

“Like taking care of a freaking child.” Emily sighed.

Rossi started to stick out his tongue again.

“Dave, no window!”

The man folded his arm and scrunched up his face.

“What’s the BAU Emily?”

“This might not end well.”

***

***
Rossi sat at the table of the BAU kitchen, punching the air and giggling. Luke sat beside him trying his best to understand what was happening to the senior agent.

“I’ve never seen him like this.” Luke called out to Emily. “What did they even do?”

“He got two teeth taken out, and they gave him laughing gas. It’s taking a bit longer than usual for it to wear off. He’s pretty gone.” Emily replied.

“So he’s really high?” Luke smiled.

Rossi pretended to lick Luke’s face, making Luke bounce back in disgust.

“So high. Just take care of him for a second. I’m going to make sure his office is ready so he can sleep it off.” Emily said as she left Rossi under Luke’s supervision.

“Hey, Rossi. How you doing?” Luke asked.

“Hey Rossi! How you doing?” David mimicked back in a high pitch voice.

Luke laughed as he patted the man on the shoulder. “Alrighty then.”

A blonde, technical analyst pushed open the glass doors into the BAU. Leaving Rossi to cry out as he saw her walk into their space.

“Garcia! Come here and give me a hug.” He held his arms out toward her.

Garcia’s face lit up as she shuffled over to the man. “I never give up an opportunity for a hug.”

“You, Penelople. You are my favourite. You always have.” He took her face into his hands.

“Um?” Garcia lifted her eyebrows up towards Luke.

“Dentist. He’s super loopy.” He rotated circles around his ears.

“I love you, love you, love you.” Rossi began stroking her hair.

“Awe, I love you too Rossi.” She signaled to Luke to get his phone.

“Take a picture of this.” she lifted up her hands in a thumbs up. “We’re going to need proof.”

***

After a bit of coaxing and hard love, Emily had finally settled Rossi in his office. She joined the rest of the group gathered in the bullpen.

“How is he?” JJ asked.

“Well, he’s having a conversation about Parmesan cheese with his couch pillows. He’ll be fine in a few hours. Just let him sleep it off.” Emily pulled out her phone to check the time.

“Someone just pop their head in once in a while to make sure he’s not dead alright?”

JJ and Tara both nodded their heads in agreement.

“At least he is in his office where no one can see him.” Tara noted. “Then he can be stupid and no one will notice.”

“So where are we with the case?” Emily picked up the folder on Tara’s desk as the rest of the team began to fill her in.

But they were distracted by the loud crashing sounds coming from David’s office.

“Let’s play some baseball!” Rossi busted out his office, holding a glove with a baseball in his hands, wearing a cubs hat.

“No way.” Luke pulled his phone out again.

“Rossi! No. Put that down.” Emily stared him down.

“Oh come on, let him play.” Matt put up his hands. “Right here Rossi!”

“Do not encourage him!”

“Don’t worry Prentiss, I’ll catch it.”

Laughing wildly, Rossi threw the ball hard, except in the absolute wrong direction. It went through the window with a big crash. The whole bull pen went silent.

Matt immediately recoiled and hid his gaze from a furious Emily. Rossi yelled out for everyone to hear.

“Strike One!”

***

***

As the night wrapped up and everyone was finally heading home, Emily and JJ creeped into the office of their sleeping friend.

“Should we just leave him here?” JJ pondered. “He looks so content.”

“Krystall just got home. She said I can drop him off.” Emily knelt down beside the couch. “Dave? Let’s get you home.”

Slowly Rossi lifted his head and blinked his eyes into realization. He rubbed his head gently and yawned. Then grimaced as he opened and closed his jaw a few times.

“Ow?” Rossi rubbed the side of his mouth.

“Hurts?” JJ asked.

“Yeah. What time is it?” Rossi sat himself up.

“Around ten. Sorry, we were going to wake you earlier, but you were sleeping so soundly and thought it was best not to wake you.” Emily said. “Plus, you really tired yourself out this afternoon.”

“What even happened?”

“What do you remember?”

“Going to the dentist. That’s it.”

“Yeah, you might want to rethink the laughing gas next time.” JJ smiled. “You were really out there for a bit Rossi, it was quite funny.”

“Luke and Penelope might have a few videos, I had them take care of you for a bit.” Emily added.

“Luke and Penelope!” Rossi put his head in his hands. “They will never let this go.”

“They probably will be teasing you for a while. I even heard them mentioning T-shirts.” Emily started pushing Rossi out the door. “Come on, let's get out of here.”

Rossi stood at his doorway looking out into the bullpen. His eyes opened in shock.

“What the hell happened to the window?”

“Might want to ask Matt about that one.” JJ laughed.

“Wait” Rossi looked closer at the scene, noticing the circular hole. “Where is my baseball? That ball is signed. It is worth five hundred dollars. Oh Emily, why didn’t you just tie me up?”

“I’ll keep that in mind in case there is a next time.”

The three of them walked towards the elevators.

“You might also want to boost your immune system a bit, you were licking a lot of things on the ride here. I tried to stop you, but man you are persistent.” Emily pressed the down button.

Rossi simply responded with a heavy sigh.

“Just get me home.”

***

***

When Emily finally pulled up to Rossi’s mansion the pair was greeted by Krystal at the door.

“Hi honey, how are you?” She asked a grumpy Dave who walked right past her.

“Lost my freaking baseball Krystal.”

Emily passed over Rossi’s briefcase to his wife with a sympathetic smile.

“He’s had quite the day. Just needs to sleep.”

“MY FREAKING SIGNED BASEBALL!” Rossi yelled in the background.

“Thanks again for taking care of him, Emily.” Krystal expressed.

“Anytime. He would do the same for me… Actually he has done the same for me.” She started back towards her car. “Bye Dave!”

Rossi waved his hand limply without even turning around.

Emily slammed her car door and turned the ignition. She noticed the dried liquid stains on her windows.

“I’m going to charge him to clean my car.” She laughed. “Fucking Dave.”

She pulled out of the driveway.

Chapter Text

“Really? Roller Coasters? I never would have thought.” 

“Not another word Aaron. I don’t want to hear it”

Hotch just howled with laughter and walked away.   

After closing up their case in Colorado, the team had a couple of hours to spend before heading back home. To the team’s delight and to the secretive skills of BAU chief Aaron Hotchner, he had secured a surprise trip to the local amusement park to let his friends enjoy themselves.

“I think we should do something like this after every case!” Spencer laughed as they exited the ferris wheel. 

“As much as I wish we could, the budget would definitely not allow for that” Hotch replied as she helped Garcia out of the cart. 

“Still this has been one of the best days that we’ve had in a while.” Emily said as she gave a thankful look to Hotch. 

“Well, I think it’s time we finally tackle the big one.” Morgan pointed at the giant wooden roller coaster in the distance.

“Hell yeah!” a very excited JJ pulled an excited Garcia in that direction, the both of them skipping in tandem while giggling. 

Hotch acknowledged Reid, seeing him pull back towards the back of the group. 

“Reid if you want, you can go check out the petting zoo or something, since you don’t want to ride the-” 

Reid threw his hands up defensively with a puckered face. 

“Even though I know everyone assumed otherwise, I actually really enjoy roller coasters. I love the adrenaline rush and it’s very interesting to think of the mechanics and science that goes into these machines. Did you know that statistically- “

“Okay nope, keep it to yourself.” Hotch left his side and met up with Morgan. 

Finally they reached the large blinking sign adorning the words “Colorado Coaster” flashing back at them. 

“Come on Rossi!” Morgan waved the man over. 

A hesitant Rossi started to make his way over to the nearest bench. 

“Yeah, I’m good guys, I’ll just stay here. I’ve got myself a nice book to read while I wait for you all. You just have fun. ” 

“Oh my God, Rossi is scared!” Reid smiled. 

“Not scared, just being cautious.” Rossi’s brows furrowed into his book. 

“Admit it! You’re afraid of roller coasters.” Spencer started poking playfully at his elder. 

“Well, I just don’t understand how someone would willingly put themselves into a moving vehicle that goes upside down at high trajectory speeds.” 

“I mean you get in the jet.” JJ pointed out.

Her eyes were received with a dirty glare.

“Do what you will, boss.” JJ turned around and got in line. 

Spencer started to once again pry at Rossi. 

“Rossi’s scared of roller coasters! Rossi’s scared of roller coasters!”

“Come on Reid, let the old man read his book.” Morgan pulled Reid toward the line with everyone else. 

Rossi settled into his seat and cracked the spine of his book. But before that, one more pair of eyes met his gaze.

“Really? Roller Coasters? I never would have thought.” 

“Not another word Aaron. I don’t want to hear it”

Hotch just howled with laughter and walked away.   

***

After riding to their heart's content, the team had finally made it to the games booths and were deciding which attraction to give their money to.

Garcia munched happily on her cotton candy matching with her bright pink hair. 

“Are you going to win me a prize baby?” she teased Morgan who began stretching his arms. 

“An extra large prize for you babygirl.” 

The group walked past the milk bottle toss where a shiny pink octopus stared Garcia in the eyes. 

“Oh look! An octopus! Can you get that for me Morgan?” Garcia jumped up and down, clicking her heels in glee. 

“Absolutely. One octopus coming up.” Morgan hollered. He started jumping up and down swinging in arms in circles like a baseball pitcher. 

“Anyone want to give it a try before I smoke this out of the park?” 

“Don’t look at me, I played soccer.” JJ shrugged.

“Rossi?”

“Oh I know a trick when I see one.”

“Lame.” 

“Alright, I’ll just do it myself then. Someone record this.” Morgan winded up his arm as Hotch pulled out his phone and hit record. 

A hard throw that completely missed the bottom row, hitting the floor and almost bounced back towards the group causing them all to jump. 

“Damn Morgan, warn us next time!” Rossi hollered. 

“Sorry guys, my bad.” He stretched his neck from side to side. 

“Maybe you should adjust your math a bit more, Morgan, the angle and trajectory really affects the impact of your throw.”

Morgan lifted up one finger in protest “Reid- please.”

Another throw completely missed the bottles, and the last throw only hit the top bottle which barely wobbled. 

“I mean, I played baseball in school, I mean-” Morgan stood in disbelief as Garcia gave him a huge hug.

“It’s okay, I didn’t want it that bad.” she cooed in his ear. 

As she said this, Emily placed a five dollar bill on the stand. 

“Alright boys step aside. I’ll get you your octopus.” She winked slyly. “Baby girl.” 

Morgan opened his mouth in shock as JJ burst into laughter. 

“There is no way honey.” Morgan grinned and crossed his arms.

“Don’t hurt yourself Emily,” Hotch slyly commented. 

“Just make sure you’re recording this Hotch.” Emily pointed the ball at his phone. 

As the last bottle hit the ground, the team watched with gaping mouths as Emily walked over, picked up the octopus and handed it to a squealing Garcia. Spencer and JJ applauded as Emily began her bows. 

“How did you do that?” Hotch laughed as Morgan still stood frozen, mouth wide open. 

"Oh, a woman never reveals her secrets Aaron.” Emily taunted. 

“That was so embarrassing.” Morgan muttered.

“Oh don’t worry, you’re still my superstar.” Garcia smiled. 

“Alright! Are we ready to head out?” Hotch asked. 

“Hold up, one more thing we gotta get, I think I damaged Derek’s ego a little too much with this one.” Emily turned around and called out to Morgan. 

“Mini donuts?” 

A smile reappeared on Morgan’s face. “Of course!” 

“Finally something I can get behind,” said a relieved Rossi. 

The group started to make their way towards the sweet smells of cinnamon, speed walking as the sun trickled down. 

Spencer ran up and caught up with Emily.

“It was the trajectory right?”

“Absolutely. Never underestimate math.”

“Damn right.” smiled Spencer. 

Chapter Text

“What’s up with them?”

“We are all so hungover Rossi. We are not built like you.” Morgan called out with his head on the table. “Damn, my head is pounding.” 

Rossi was accepting an award for one of his books that had garnered huge success. Usually he did not even bother to attend these events, but the promise of unlimited booze and dancing along with an approved addition of his team to the guest list, convinced the profiler to go. Even more excited was his team who had gone through some especially harrowing cases and could use a night off. It had been an especially rowdy night filled with good drinks, good food, and downright chaos. And Hotch had been adamant that the team would be getting the next day off. So the night was definitely one to remember however most of the team was too drunk to remember any moment of it. 

The next day however, Hotch received a distressing case with urgency from Strauss herself, giving Hotch the regretful but necessary task of calling his team in on the weekend. Promptly they began to arrive. 

First up was Reid, who did not drink the night before by choice, in an old worn out sweater vest. He was tidy but still a bit roughed up, probably from spending one too many hours flipping the pages of his favorite book. 

“Hi Reid, thanks for coming in so quickly.” Hotch quietly acknowledged the agent. 

The younger man replied energetically, taking Hotch off guard. 

"Yeah, I was still a bit tired from last night so I’m a bit of a mess, but it was worth it. I mean, what a great night!” 

“You’re a mess, I think you will be the most put together out of all of us.” Hotch smirked. 

“How are you still standing? You were downing the drinks pretty hard last night.”

“Oh trust me Reid, I’m just putting up a strong front. Internally however, I am dying. I don’t even know how I got my tie on, it’s definitely muscle memory.”

Hotch checked his phone to see the messages that had been rapidly entering his inbox. He let out a soft sigh and ran a hand through his hair. 

“I think you’re the only one who is going to be merciful to me for calling us in. I wouldn’t be surprised that everyone is taking this morning pretty hard considering the night we just had.” 

Reid gave Hotch a small nod of agreement. 

“I would brace yourself if I were you. The others are not going to be as forgiving.”

***

After a brief period of darkened silence to the relief of Hotch, the other members of the BAU begin to file into the briefing room. 

Emily, with large sunglasses on, plopped into the nearest seat, purse half open overflowing with objects. She glared at Reid who was smiling at her with amusement.

“Reid, do not smile at my suffering. I’ve already thrown up in the shower twice. I don’t even remember what happened.”

Reid popped his phone out of his pocket.

“I’ve got loads of pictures if you need a reminder.” 

“Reid. Don’t.” Emily placed her face into her palms. 

“What were we thinking?”

Next up, JJ came barreling in, blonde hair up in a messy bun, flyaways strands out in full force. Hotch guided her into the chair besides Prentiss. 

“I feel like the jet has run me over multiple times.” JJ declared while rubbing her temples. 

“I feel like we’re in the jet right now, and we’re crash landing,” said Emily. 

Shuffling in together, Morgan and Garcia came in arm and arm. Both in sunglasses with smiles nowhere to be seen. 

“Man, last night was wild, but we sure are paying for it today.” Morgan chuckled as he pulled out a seat and navigated a zombie faced Garcia. 

“I cannot feel my face.” Garcia mumbled out as she steadied her swaying figure. 

“Morgan, make the room stop spinning please.” 

“Babygirl I cannot do that, because the room is spinning for me too.” he put his hands out on the table to brace himself from his cloudy vision. 

Last to arrive was the star of last night, Rossi waltzing in, green juice in hand, teeth grinning. He had an extra spring to his step as he took his seat.

“Hey everyone! What a great time last night! Who’s ready for round two!” 

Pairs of glaring eyes and exasperated grunts greeted him. Rossi recoiled with fear, lifting his arms up in confusion. 

“What’s up with them?”

“We are all so hungover Rossi. We are not built like you.” Morgan called out with his head on the table. “Damn, my head is pounding.” 

“Hungover! Last night was peanuts you guys!” Rossi burst into laughter which subsided quickly as saw the anguished looks on his team’s faces.

“Listen I know I’m old but I guess I still party like I’m young.”

Hotch stood at the television screen, pausing to make sure he was okay himself. 

“I apologize for calling you all in, I know I promised you all that we would take today off. But Strauss demanded that we get started on this case immediately. We have four missing teenagers-” 

“Where’s the garbage? I think I’m gonna start heaving again.” Emily began looking around for relief.

Garcia glazed over the television screen, squinting hard to try and focus on the words before turning away. 

“Would it be possible to turn down the lights? Maybe even turn them off?” 

Rossi slammed his hands on the table unintentionally, making the group jump and then recoil with pain.

“Alright! Hotch give me five minutes. I’ll make my special hangover remedy, and you will all be good as new.” 

He strode out and went to the kitchen leaving the team desperately waiting. 

“Hangover remedy?” said Emily.

“I’m scared to even ask.” JJ cried out.

After a few minutes Rossi came bouncing into the room, a tray filled with cups of a mysterious liquid. He started with Hotch, who looked into the glass and looked visibly ill. 

“Uh, Dave, what is this?”

“This is a very effective remedy for your problem. Drink up and thank me later.” he handed a mug to JJ who let out a small whimper. 

“Why is it so brown? What is even in this?”

“Better if you don’t know to be honest. Come on now, let’s go. We don’t have all day.” 

Garcia took one look at the liquid and gasped but Rossi shoved the glass closer to her lips.

“No complaining, if you want to party hard you have to be tough enough to face the consequences.”

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” Garcia whimpered as Rossi smiled. 

He continued around the table, passing around cups as his team slowly began to come to life.

“You want some Reid?”

"Oh I will gladly pass Rossi.” the young man put his hands up in defense. “That looks like something someone would use as a torture device.” 

“But somehow it works.” Rossi pointed out as they both looked around the room. 

Surely enough, the liquid effects began to energize the team, fading the grumpiness of their drunkenness. Papers started to be handed around, pens clicking into positions, remote control buttons being pushed. Rossi proudly acknowledged his team. 

“Let’s get to work.” 

Chapter Text

Reid feebly picked up a wrench and twirled it around in his hands. “Uh…” he tapped gently around on the tire trying to figure out what to do next. 

“Damn Reid, you really don’t know a thing about changing a tire?”

It was a sunny summer day as per usual, the heat haze in strong effect as a car pulled over onto the side of the road, sputtering dust into the air. 

A frazzled Reid leaned against the back of his own vintage car, scratching the back of his head. 

As the door slammed shut, one of Reid’s superiors wrapped around the driver’s side to Reid’s aid. 

“Hey Spencer, you okay?” Gideon pulled his sunglasses down to take in the scene.

“Yeah I’m okay. Thanks for coming, I know it’s the weekend and everything, you’ve probably got better things to do. I just didn’t know who else to call-”  

“Don’t worry about it kid, I wasn’t just gonna leave you stranded out here. Come on, we can fix this up in no time.” 

Gideon wrapped around the trunk of his car and pulled out a shiny red toolbox and a jack. He strode over to the crime scene while whistling and began setting up. 

“Let’s go now, we don’t got all day,” the older man said.

Reid feebly picked up a wrench and twirled it around in his hands. “Uh…” he tapped gently around on the tire trying to figure out what to do next. 

“Damn Reid, you really don’t know a thing about changing a tire?” Gideon chuckled. 

Reid stared at his shoes embarrassed. “Well, I mean my dad wasn’t really around to show me these things, I mean I’ve read about it in a couple of books, I shouldn’t have even bothered to drive today, every time I drive something bad happens, I don’t even like driving that much-” he stuttered out. 

“Reid.” Gideon placed a steady hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I’ll show you how to do it. We’ll do it together.” 

Gideon kneeled over by the destroyed tire, and Spencer feebly crouched down beside him. 

“So you want to take this wrench and turn the lugnuts counterclockwise to get them loose.” Gideon demonstrated on the first one and then handed the tool to Spencer. He caught on easily and continued on the other pieces.

“Good. Keep going.” Gideon moved his attention to placing the jack in place underneath the car. 

Spencer soaked in the information as Gideon instructed him on what was required. They were able to continue quickly through the replacement of the flat tire with the spare, with Gideon giving the right amount of attention while also letting Spencer figure out the task himself. Finally the two of them wiped their hands on their now dirtied pants and admired their work.

“I know a guy who you can get a new spare tire from, he can probably take a look at your flat too and see if he can salvage it.”

“I would have been so lost without you Gideon.” 

“Well you catch on fast Reid. I knew all of those PHd’s were worth something.”

“Yeah, I guess I could do it.” Reid grinned.

“You know kid, you can do a lot more than you think. I know everyone on the team likes to push you around sometimes, but you are more than your brain. Don’t put yourself down too much, okay?” 

Spencer smiled while staring at his shoes. 

“Thanks Gideon, for helping me out.” 

“Anytime Reid. You need something, you call me anytime. Except for a flat tire though, because now you know what to do.”

Reid let out a laugh. “I think I’m going to take the bus for a bit after this, I don’t want to deal with a flat tire again for a long time.” 

Gideon placed his toolbox back in the trunk of his car and slammed the door shut. He motioned to Reid to get in his car.

“Now let’s go, you owe me lunch.” 

“Lunch?”

“I just fixed your tire. I’m hungry.” 

At that exact moment Reid’s stomach decided to make its presence known with a loud grumble.

“I didn’t realize how hungry I was. I was so distracted by the tire.”

“How about pizza? There’s a fantastic place down the street. Plus, I can see how the new tire works, make sure everything is in place.” Gideon hopped into his own car. “Hurry up!” 

Spencer opened his car door.

“Alright. Lunch it is.”

Chapter Text

“Here. Borrow my old DS. If you can beat the game,  I’ll put in extra hours to help you digitize your files like Hotch has been nagging you to do. And if you can’t, I get to throw my birthday at your house.`` 

Rossi stared at the device and then at a smiling Garcia. 

“How much time do I have?”

“Till the end of our case.” 

“You're on.” 

***

It was a pretty calm day as Rossi and Reid sat in the briefing room, catching up on reading materials as a scrambling Hotch pushed his son into the room.

“Hey kiddo, how you doing!” Reid acknowledged the young one who plopped into the seat next to him. 

“Hey Uncle Spencer” Jack smiled.

Hotch placed a lunchbox on the table in front of Henry’s eager eyes. “School got out early today, so Jack and I will be heading out soon. I just got one more meeting to attend. Can you two watch over him for a little bit?”

“I mean sure, but there’s not really much that a kid can do here.” said Rossi. 

“It’s fine. He’s got snacks and his DS so he’ll just play his games for a while until I’m done.” Hotch pointed out. “You won’t even notice he’s there.” 

“Alright. Sounds good, Hotch. See you later.” Rossi mumbled from his paper.
Hotch patted his son on the head.” “Okay Jack, be good for Rossi and Reid. I’ll be back soon.”

“See ya dad.” Jack called out as he pulled his gaming device out of his backpack and set it up. Rossi folded up his newspaper. 

“So what are you playing kid?”

“ Super Mario Bros. It’s my favorite game.”

“Yeah, I’m more of a Tetris guy myself.”

“Here.” Jack passed his DS to Rossi. “Just run and jump. Easy.”

“Alright let me have a go.” Rossi positioned himself in front of the device. “Doesn’t seem too bad.”

“Jack, go easy on him.” Reid warned with his nose still in his book. “He’s fragile.” 

“Shut up Reid.” Rossi glared. 

“You got this Uncle Dave.” Jack encouraged. 

As the timer continued to diminish Rossi struggled to even get his character to proceed forward. 

“What the-” Rossi sputtered. “How does it even move like that? This stupid thing-”

“You need to jump higher to get on that ledge.” Jack instructed. 

Rossi’s character once again fell into the abyss leaving him to holler as Jack giggled. 

“What’s going on over here?” the cheery figure of Garcia peered through the doorway, iPad in hand. 

“We’re playing Super Mario Bros !” Jack said.

“Oh I love that game!” Garcia squealed.

“Of course you play this, this is totally something you would play.” Reid laughed. 

A frustrated grumble erupted from Rossi’s mouth as his character struggled to overcome some Goombas. 

“Rossi, you are terrible at this.” Garcia commented. 

“Well, it’s hard to see! The screen is so small!”

“You know what, we can fix that. Let’s go to my office. I’ve got my Wii.”

“We?” Reid asked confusingly to the chuckles of Jack and Penelope. 

“Yeah my Wii. Just come on. There’s a lot that you need to learn.” 

All three boys beamed with excitement. 

***

With the game now displayed on Garcia’s big screens, Rossi, Reid, Garcia, and Jack were now in intense competition.

“The physics here is impossible. Who made this, I want to talk to them! Nothing here makes sense.”

“Who cares Reid, it’s just fun.” Garcia said as she placed her bejeweled controller on the desk as she had already solidified her space past the finish line. 

Rossi let out another scream as his character died for the third time this round. 

“Penelope, how did you get so good at this!” Rossi exclaimed.

“Well I had my own DS for a while and played a lot. Then I bought my Wii and practiced there. I have Zelda and Kirby and Nintendogs…” 

“Yeah, well I would be good too if I had the time.”

“It’s not only time Rossi, you need skill to be successful.”

Garcia opened one of her drawers, pulling out a pastel pink device.

“Here. Borrow my old DS. If you can beat the game,  I’ll put in extra hours to help you digitize your files like Hotch has been nagging you to do. And if you can’t, I get to throw my birthday at your house.`` 

Rossi stared at the device and then at a smiling Garcia. 

“How much time do I have?”

“Till the end of our case.”  “You're on.” 

***

The team had just begun their day, sipping on coffee and munching down breakfast in the bullpen before they continued with their case. 

“Anyone seen Rossi?” Emily asked.

“He had a lot of fun playing with Jack yesterday, maybe it tuckered him out.” Reid declared.

"You make it sound like he's ninety." Emily laughed.

A very ragged Rossi came walking in, eyes bloodshot as he almost walked into a closed door. Hotch placed down his folder and laughed.

“What happened to you?”

“Garcia’s stupid DS.” Rossi grumbled. 

“You don’t look very happy for someone who just got a gaming device that is supposed to bring joy and entertainment.” Garcia commented.

Rossi tried to flatten the strands of hair that were poking out from all sides of his head. He rubbed his eyes and glared at Garcia. 

“I’ve been playing Super Mario Bros for the past 16 hours. I did not sleep. I want to murder Mario and every single one of his brothers.”

“Did you at least have fun?”

“I think? I don’t know.” 

“Looks like I’m going to have a great time at your house. I’m going to throw a huge party, and have so much fun in the hottub-” Rossi held up his hand in opposition. 

“Not so fast, Penelope. I’ve still got time.” 

***

Hotch walked into the office of his colleague in the hopes of picking up the files he needed to complete his report. As he walked into the room his eyes captured the quick gaze of hands scuffling something into a desk. 

“Hey, Hotchner! What do you need?” Rossi clasped his hands together with a forced smile.  

“Hey Dave, what are you doing?” Hotch prompted. 

“Oh nothing .”

Hotch raised an eyebrow with a smirk. 

“Hand me the DS. Now.”

“I’m a grown man Aaron.” 

“Don’t make me count to three.”

The two stared at each other debating their options. Rossi relented with a heap, handing the console to the smug man.

“You will get this back once you learn some self control.” 

“I have self control Hotch.” 

“You can go fifteen minutes without the game Dave. Now get me the files.” 

“Yes Dad.” mocked Rossi. 

Hotch turned around slowly to see Rossi’s grin.

“How about we make it fifty minutes?”

The grin was swiftly wiped off his face. 

“Files. Coming right up.”

***

As the team recuperated on the jet headed directly home, Rossi continued to hustle through his game, secured in a blanket burrito, the screen light the only thing illuminated his concentrated face. 

“Do you think he’s actually going to beat it?” JJ asked Reid.

“I think the game will beat him.” Reid whispered.

“He’s dedicated, that's for sure.” JJ pulled her blanket over her head. 

“I believe in him. He’ll find a way.” Hotch muttered from his sleep.

For the rest of the ride home, the only sounds heard were soft little profanities from Rossi as he continued playing.

***

As the team finished off their case files in the bullpen, Reid packed up his bag and chatted with JJ.

“I’m so glad to be done with this case. It really was a rough one.” JJ sighed. “I’m just ready to go home.” 

Muffled screaming emerged from Rossi’s office as the group went silent. As the door flung open they could finally understand what was on his mind.

“Garcia, get in here! Watch me win!”

The whole group quickly made their way into his office, where Rossi stood proudly holding the device. Garcia’s eyes watched in disbelief as Rossi smugly navigated his character to the castle’s flagpole, prompting the ending sequence and title credits of the game. Garcia’s jaw lay open as Rossi got up and took his bows as victory music filled the room. 

“Looks like this is mine now.” Rossi held up the DS and mimicked Garcia’s puppy dog frown. “A bet is a bet Garcia.” 

Reid came over to congratulate the agent as Garcia paced around the room.

“I’m going to admit it, Rossi, I really didn’t think you had it in you.”

Rossi burst into laughter, stifling it when he saw Garcia begin to be consoled by JJ. 

“Oh, I don’t. Yesterday I paid Jack fifty bucks and he finished the game up until the last level.” 

“Rossi! That’s so… cruel?” Reid smirked.

Rossi fiddled the device around in his hands.

“I knew she wanted to have her birthday at my house for a while now. Of course I was going to let her, it was more about my dignity. I can’t have people thinking I’m old and can’t play video games.”

“But you can’t play video games-”

“Reid, like I said, I’m more of a Tetris guy myself.”

“HOW DID HE FINISH IT!” Garcia screamed head in her palms with rage. 

The team hadn’t laughed that hard in weeks. 

Chapter Text

“When did you get pink laces?”

“If I’m going to skate I’m going to at least look good while doing it.”

“You always look good babygirl.”

“Yes I do.”

“Can someone teach me how to tie these skates please?” a distressed Reid called out after multiple failed attempts of tying up his laces.

“What’s wrong Reid? They don’t have ice rinks in Vegas?” Gideon crouched down and began tugging at the younger man’s skates.

“Do I look like someone who skates?” Reid replied with crossed arms.

“No, you definitely do not. Hold up, let me find you a helmet.” Gideon chuckled.

A very polished JJ came prancing in, purple leg warmers hugging her skates.

“Well it looks like someone knows how to skate.” Morgan smiled as he sat down beside a hesitant Garcia.

“Yeah, I did growing up, I wanted to play hockey but my mother wanted me to try figure skating. I didn’t last long that’s for sure.” JJ plopped down beside Garcia.

Morgan poked at JJ’s leg warmers rendering a glare from JJ. “Well that’s crazy, I played hockey but would have loved to try some figure skating.” Morgan said as he began to playfully dance around to the deadpan face of JJ.

“Younger me would have killed you Derek.”

“Oh no doubt about that miss JJ.” Derek laughed.

“Will you tie up my skates lover? I can’t get them tight enough.” Garcia pulled at her special pink laces as Derek got on one knee.

“When did you get pink laces?”

“If I’m going to skate I’m going to at least look good while doing it.”

“You always look good babygirl.”

“Yes I do.” Garcia beamed.

Hotch finished up the last few laces on his skates in a hard knot. He stood up and addressed his team. “Are we ready?”

“Hotch, can’t I just sit and watch?” Reid huffed.

“No, we’re all going to give it our best shot, and that’s that. It’s team building.”

“It’s stupid.” Garcia muttered.

Hotch turned his head around and shot Garcia a look.

“It’s what Garcia?”

“Nothing sir.”

Garcia stared at her skates as Morgan came and put his arms around her laughing. “Come on, let me teach you. It’ll be fun.”

***

“I can’t stop! I can’t stop!” Reid came hurtling towards the boards, arms swinging in fury. The bang and flop onto the ice came very shortly after.

“Ouch, that one is gonna leave a mark.” Gideon quickly came to his aid and helped him up.

“Ow.” Reid rubbed his elbow gently. “How long do we have to keep doing this?”

“Good job Reid, you’re doing great!” JJ called out while holding a quivering Garcia.

“Don’t hurt that brain of yours kid, it’s one of your few decent qualities.” Morgan laughed. 

"Why did we have to go skating? Couldn’t we all do something that doesn’t involve all of this advanced movement? We all could’ve gone to a pottery class or something, or we could play chess!” Reid complained.

“Yeah, we could have done knitting together, or gone to one of those cat cafes. Why skating?” Garcia joined in.

“Hey!” Hotch called out from the other side of the rink. “That better not be complaining I’m hearing over there!”

Both Garcia and Reid stood up and quickly flashed Hotch a thumbs up.

***

“You really think you’re a better skater than I am?” Hotch teased.

“Oh definitely Hotch.” Morgan spinned around.

Hotch raised his eyebrow and called Gideon and JJ over.

“Alright fine. JJ and I versus Morgan and Gideon. Four times around the rink, fastest across the finish line wins.”

“How about we make this a bit more interesting? Along with bragging rights, the losers will do our case reports for a week.” Morgan smiled.

“How about a month?” Hotch baited.

“Oh, feeling confident are we Hotch?”

“What’s wrong Morgan? Shouldn’t be a problem since you said you are a better skater than me.”

The two men shook hands.

“Let’s go.”

A few minutes later Garcia stood on the benches with her pink nails facing the sky, as the four racers waited at the starting line. Reid sat beside Garcia with his phone perched up, ready to gather evidence of the race.

“Alright, be nice, don’t hurt each other okay?” Garcia warned.

“Don’t pull any of your muscles Hotch.” said Morgan.

“Three, two, one, GO!” Garcia waved her hands around manically.

In a burst all four skaters went speeding down the rink with Garcia and Reid bursting into cheers and laughter. Hotch and Morgan leading up the front and Gideon and JJ following closely behind. Speeding around the corners the group all stuck together until the final stretch where Hotch began to take a slight lead.

“Looks like Hotch is gonna win.” Garcia said.

“Wait, wait, look at Morgan! “ Reid stood up with both hands clutching his phone.

Morgan jumped out and grabbed at Hotch, clutching at his ankles. Suddenly both went down in a giant heap letting Gideon swiftly skate past them and cross the finish line. JJ stopped to help a swearing Hotch up as Morgan struggled to contain his laughter.

“What was that Morgan! You cheated!” Hotch yelled.

“What! I tripped!” Morgan stifled a laugh.

Hotch stood up and brushed off the ice on his sweater. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Oh don’t be a sore loser Hotch, Gideon crossed first so we won.”

JJ crossed over to Morgan and punched him in the arm. “Is that also how you played hockey Morgan? Resorted to tricks because you don’t have the skill?”

“Oh keep whining JJ. I hope you enjoy doing our paperwork.”

“We’re going to remember this Morgan. We won’t forget.”

“What can I say? I’m just being innovative.”

“I’m actually going to-” JJ jumped at Morgan.

From the bench, Garcia and Reid pounded on the sideboards. “Hey! I thought this was supposed to be team building? Huh, Hotch? Garcia teased with her hands on her hips.

“Come on.” Gideon pushed them all towards the exit. Let’s go get eat. Winners are buying.”

“Of course they are.” Hotch grumbled while straightening himself out. “But first, I do have a surprise. Stay here.”

He ran off as the group began to take off their skates.

“What’s he up to?” JJ asked.

“It’s Hotch, he’s always up to something.” said Gideon.

The team was then alerted to the sounds of a horn honking. From the opposite side of the rink Hotch came rolling out in the zamboni blaring the loud horns.

“No way!” Reid’s eyes lit up.

“How did you get your hands on the zamboni?” Gideon asked.

“I showed the zamboni driver my badge, he handed me the keys without hesitation.” Hotch replied. “He said we would be doing him a favor.”

“Yeah, I doubt that.” Gideon laughed.

“Come here Morgan, take a picture of me with it.” Garcia pulled Derek over.

“Nobody break it, I’m not paying for it.” Gideon warned.

“Okay, who’s driving first?” Hotch asked.

All in unison, the team spoke out.

“Me!”

Chapter Text

“I know what you are trying to say. But still, it’s different with women Dave, guys get older and it makes them hotter. They’re seen as silver foxes and DILFs.”

“DILFs?”

“Ask Penelope.” Emily shrugged.

It had been a pretty long day and everyone was beat. David Rossi packed up his suitcase and headed out of his office. He peered into the office of unit chief Emily Prentiss to say goodbye. He noticed her sitting at her desk picking around at her hair while holding a small pocket mirror. He knocked gently on the doorway.

“Hey I’m just heading out now. Why are you still here?” he asked. He noticed her startled her, but Emily quickly composed herself. 

“Oh you know how it is, there’s always some new paperwork to be filled out. It never ends.”

"And that's why I leave the chief role to you." Rossi chirped.

As he looked closer he noticed that Emily’s eyes were watering. “Are you doing alright?”

The short contemplative pause gave Rossi all the information he needed.

Emily glanced back at Rossi. “Dave, what do you think about my hair?”

Rossi tilted his head in confusion. “Your hair? Uh, I think it’s beautiful. Why?”

She continued to fidget with her bangs. “I was at a meeting with the higher ups and well, the subject of appearances came about.”

“Oh?” Rossi crossed over to her desk and took a seat.

“They didn’t say it point blank, but I knew. They were saying something about my hair. Implying that I should change it to be more… well youthful I guess.”

Rossi’s eyes opened up in disbelief. Emily nodded. 

“You remember me. I was constantly touching it up, all those wacky styles I kept trying to cover things up and stay with the times. But It just kept coming back, and I just decided I didn’t want to keep covering it up. I decided it was time to stop. I want to embrace it.”

“No one cared when my hair went gray.” Rossi said.

A chuckle finally emanated from Emily. “I know what you are trying to say. But still, it’s different with women Dave, guys get older and it makes them hotter. They’re seen as silver foxes and DILFs.”

“DILFs?”

“Ask Penelope.” Emily shrugged.

“But when a woman gets older, it’s just kind of frustrating. There is such a different expectation with women. You’re just not allowed to get old. You reach a certain age and suddenly you’re old news. I feel outdated already and I didn’t even ask for it.”

Rossi took the mirror out of Emily’s hands.

“I’m sorry that happened Emily. But trust me you are far outdated. Being old will always be my role. And remember, getting older…that’s a gift. Not everyone gets to experience it.” Rossi warmed up as a small smile appeared on Prentiss’ face.

“Thanks Dave. Everything is changing and I know I’m still me, but it's just taking some time to get used to.”

Rossi continued. “You are beautiful, and the strongest person I know. Who fucking cares what your hair looks like. Even though it does look beautiful. If they say something again, you let me know.”

Prentiss chuckled shyly while wiping away a tear. “You will have to get in line Dave. I’ll be chewing them out first.”

“I mean it Emily, you are so tough. Don’t let a bunch of idiots tell you otherwise.”

With a grin Prentiss got up and grabbed her purse.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.”

They walked out of the office together, arm in arm.

“Maybe we should get matching hairstyles, do you think I would look good in bangs?” Rossi joked. 

Their laughter filled the bullpen.

“What, I wouldn’t look good?” Rossi pushed away fictional bangs on his face. Emily slapped him on the shoulder. 

“Fuck off Dave. You could never pull off bangs.”

Chapter Text

“No, I’m just surprised. This is the last thing I would think to be your favorite movie.”

“It’s got everything I like, music, romance, and a little bit of fighting.” 

“A little bit?” Hotch chimed in.

“You are just filled with surprises Dave.” 

It had been a long case away with many delays from a snowstorm pounding the city. As the team was finally able to get off the jet, they soon discovered that road closures and power outages would further restrict them from the comfort of their own homes. David Rossi looked around at his disheveled team and took matters into his own hands with a gruff. 

“Why don’t you all just come to my place? It is the closest, and I’ve got my own means of power to keep us comfy.” declared Rossi. 

“We don’t want to impose on you Rossi, you probably have some big plans tonight,” Emily poked Rossi in the shoulder.

“Oh shut up, you already know I just was going to watch movies, drink, and fall asleep on my couch.” Rossi sneered. 

“We don’t really have another option,” Reid said.

“Sleepover?” Garcia smiled.

“It’s going to be cozy.” Morgan smirked. 

“I’m either going to absolutely love this, or hate this.” Hotch said.

“Alright it’s settled. Rossi began to muster everyone out the door. “Reid, Garcia, and Morgan you ride with me, JJ and Emily you go with Hotch. Let’s get out of here while we still can!” 

***

As the snow continued to pour down outside, the team began setting themselves up in the comforts of Rossi’s living room. Hotch hung up his phone and slumped into the couch.

“Jack missing you?” JJ asked.

“Jack couldn’t be bothered, he gets to stay another night at his friend’s house and he’s ecstatic. He’s growing up too fast. Where are the boys?”

“The boys are all in Florida visiting some friends of Will’s. This is honestly a nice vacation getaway for me.” JJ said.

“If this is a vacation for you, you need to take better vacations JJ.” Hotch said. 

“Thanks for letting us stay here tonight Rossi.” Morgan said as Rossi tossed him a pillow.  

“Well I couldn’t exactly just leave you all stranded at the office, I do have some morals.” Rossi replied. 

“You’re stronger than me Rossi, if it was me I would have left Reid at the office just to see what he would do.”

“Hey!” Reid popped his head up from underneath the fleece blanket he was snuggled in. 

“Do you always just have giant generators handy for big snowstorms?” asked Hotch.

With a serious face, Rossi looked Hotch straight in the eyes.  

“One thing my father always taught me was to always be prepared for the worst.” 

“When the apocalypse happens, I’ll be coming to your house for refuge,” said Garcia.

“And I’ll be ready.” replied Rossi. 

“Alright well I don’t have too much for food since we’ve been gone for so long, but my pantry is pretty well stocked.” He walked over to a secret door and pushed it open, revealing a whole assortment of snacks and goodies. The whole room let out a collective squeal. 

“Do you just own a supermarket or something?” Morgan hollered, as he browsed through the assortment of snacks, finally settling on a bag of chips. 

“You’re crazy Rossi! Emily walked over and planted a peck on his cheek.”And I am so glad you are.” 

***

As the raging fire in the fireplace blazed on , Emily and JJ both cozied up together on the couch. Hotch, engulfed in an oversized FBI hoodie, was curled up in a giant leather armchair, and Reid, Garcia, and Morgan were sprawled out in a sea of blankets and pillows on the floor. 

“Okay, who wants hot chocolate!” Rossi came into the room with mugs balanced on a tray. He gently passed them out to a grinning Garcia and Reid but was met with shaking heads as he reached the ladies couch.

“Yeah, how about you take that mug back and replace it with a wine glass?” Emily sneered.

“Oh yes, same for me please!” JJ giggled. 
“And don’t skimp Dave, we know you got the good stuff.” Emily warned. Rossi nodded his head in agreement. 

“How about a nice sparkling wine that I got in the Santa Maria Valley. It goes very well paired with popcorn. It’s got a crisp citrus taste to it-” 

“Rossi, you know us, just keep it flowing and we will be fine.” JJ smiled.

“Your wish is my command ladies.” Rossi laughed.

***

“What movie are we even going to watch?” Garcia questioned between mouthfuls of popcorn.  

“A favorite of mine. A classic.” Rossi smiled as he popped the dvd into the player.

“Who said you get to choose the movie?” Reid asked.

“Me, cause it’s my house and I let you rats stay here.” Rossi glared. “Now hush.”

As the prelude music filled the room, with snaps and whistles accompanying the opening credits, everyone tried to decipher the movie they were viewing. 

“Are we watching… West Side Story?” Emily asked.

“Do you have a problem with it?” 

“No, I’m just surprised. This is the last thing I would think of to be your favorite movie.”

“It’s got everything I like, music, romance, and a little bit of fighting.” 

“A little bit?” Hotch chimed in.

“You are just filled with surprises Dave.” 

“Shhhhh!.” Garcia whispered.

“I better not hear you singing the whole time, Penelope.” Morgan said.

“Oh please, I know you know every word to every song.” Garcia teased.

“And what if I do?” Morgan smiled.

***

With everyone settled in and watching the movie, Rossi took in the sweet moment in front of him. 

“You know what, it is kind of nice having everyone together here.” Rossi whispered. 

“I never thought I would admit it, but this is a nice moment isn’t it?” Hotch said.

Suddenly the bodies on the floor started squirming around.

“Reid! Quit hogging the blankets!” Morgan whined, tugging on his side.                

“I’m not, you’re just bigger than me!” Reid pulled the covers toward him harder. 

“Reid, don’t you dare touch me with your cold feet!” Garcia wiggled around. 

“What’s the matter, are you scared of my toes?” he made ghoul sounds and burst into a fit of laughter as Garcia swatted at him.

“Oh, there it is, it’s like my boys never left.” JJ sighed.

Emily lifted her glass up to the sky. “Hey Rossi can I get a top up?”

Hotch smiled and turned back to the movie. “It was nice while it lasted.” 

Rossi shushed the room.

“If you guys don’t shut it I will turn off this tv right now!” 

Chapter Text

“You’ve done this before right?” he squeaked as Penelope turned on the clippers.

“Totally. No problem at all.” she replied.

“Just make sure you don’t move.”

Penelope walked into the bullpen to see Luke frantically talking on the phone. He brushed through his hair picking at it with a frustrated face. “Nothing? Seriously? Fine, thanks anyways." He hung up the phone.

“What’s up Luke?” Penelope asked.

He sighed heavily. “My mom is visiting and she always bugs me if my hair isn’t neat. I just need a haircut and there are no slots available with my barber.” He slid into his desk chair, hands fidgeting through his wavy hair.

Penelope chuckled. “Babe, that’s what you’re worried about? I can cut your hair.”

“You can?”

Penelope ran her fingers through his hair, gently combing it.

“Yeah, it will be no problem at all. Come to my place after work?”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“How do you feel about blue dye?”

“Penelope!” “I’m kidding!”

She giggled. “I’ll see you later.”

***

In Penelope’s kitchen was the spread of a makeshift barber shop. Luke sat stiff on a stool, with a bright pink towel wrapped around his neck.

“You’ve done this before right?” he squeaked as Penelope turned on the clippers.

“Totally. No problem at all.” she replied.

“Just make sure you don’t move.”

She began to cut his hair. Buzz buzz buzz.

Slowly the hair fell to the ground. She combed through his hair, taking off short strands, humming gently.

Luke continued to sit like a statue. “So why is it so important that your hair looks good for your mom?” Garcia asked.

Luke let out a sigh. “I don’t really know, my mom is just kind of high maintenance like that. When I was a kid, my mom engraved in me two things I always had to do. I had to comb my hair and make my bed. And I always did it because I knew it was the one thing I could do to make my mom happy. It just kind of stuck with me my whole life.” Luke loosened his shoulders. “I feel like it’s just something I can always have control over.”

Garcia stopped for a moment. Then resumed her task.

“That makes sense. Our jobs are so unpredictable, it’s good to have something reliable. But I do not think she would throw a whole fit over your hair being a bit too long.”

“I guess another thing…” Luke paused.” I guess I feel nervous that she’s coming here meeting you for the first time. I just want everything to be perfect. I want her to like you.”

Garcia pulled away. She turned off the clippers. “You think she won’t like me?”

“No! she’s going to love you babe, it’s a me thing. I’m the one who is worried.” Luke assured her.

“I wasn’t worried before, but now I think I am.” Penelope whispered.

Luke jumped up from his seat.

“No! Don’t feel that way, she’s going to love you. I’m sure of it. She knows how happy you make me, there is no need to worry.”

He hugged her tightly, making her giggle.

“Maybe I’ll remind her that I make my bed everyday.”

“Plus she will be impressed by your skills as a barker.” Luke added, running a hand through his hair.

“Okay let me finish this, sit down and don’t be so stiff it’s stressing me out. Garcia turned on the clippers.

“Okay, just make sure it is tight.” Luke said with his jaw tight.

“Loosen up, don’t be so weird!” Garcia squealed.

“Okay fine.” Luke relaxed his shoulders and stretched his neck while Penelope took a sip from her drink. She knocked over a comb off the counter and bent down to pick it up. However, as she got up the clippers took off a chunk of Luke’s hair.

“Uh Oh.” Garcia whispered.

“What! Babe, what do you mean Uh Oh?” Luke screeched.

Penelope grabbed a mirror and handed it to Luke. He peered into the mirror and let out a yelp.

“Luke, it's fine! You can barely notice it.” Garcia pleaded.

“Penelope it is not fine!” “I’m sorry, you moved!”

“You told me to relax! I knew it, I should have stayed stiff!”

“Don’t worry, I can fix it easily.” Luke got up and held onto Garcia’s shoulders. He started to shake them desperately.

“Penelope, my love. I need you to fix this. My mom is coming!”

“Shhhh. Sit down.” She focused on her mistake, and started cutting around it. Taking off more and more. Luke peered at the ground and watched as more clumps of hair hit the ground. Finally Penelope handed him the mirror again, a solemn look on her face.

“It’s not bad. It’s okay Luke.”

Luke stood silent as he held the mirror. He turned to Garcia with a serious look on his face.

“Just Shave it. Shave it all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Just take it all off.”

***

The next day Luke walked into the office with a ballcap on. Emily, fresh coffee in hand walked into the room and examined his new look.

“What’s with the hat Luke, you never wear-” she was interrupted by Luke pulling off his cap.

He revealed his fresh buzz cut to the room.

“Oh.” She held in her laughter.

“Yeah.” Luke deadpanned.

“Garcia?”

“Yeah.” She got up and patted him on the shoulder.

“It’ll grow back.”

Chapter Text

“We are going to surprise Rossi at his book signing. Do you want to come?”

“Sure! But if he asks, can we all just pretend that I read this one?” Garcia scowled. “I really have been meaning to, it would just be so much easier if there was an audiobook version.”

“I usually just ask Reid for a summary of it.” Morgan chimed in.

Spencer came running into the bullpen, bursting with excitement.

“Where’s Rossi, I’ve got to show him this video of this grumpy cat, he’s going to love it!” he said while searching around the room. Rossi however was nowhere to be found.

“Rossi is out tonight, he’s got one of his signings for his new book.” Emily replied, not even bothering to look up from the folder that she had her nose stuck in.

“How come he never invites us to them?” Reid reached over into this desk drawer and pulled out his copy of Rossi’s newest book.

“Probably thinks we’ll find it boring,” said Morgan as he packed his belongings into his bag. “You know him, he’s private about that stuff. Even though he is basically a rockstar in the world of crime literature.”

“Why don’t we go?” Reid suggested.

“Us?” said Emily.

“Yeah, let’s surprise him.” Reid placed his book into his bag. “We could get in line and everywhere, ask for his autograph.” he laughed. “He’s going to hate it!”

“Why not, I’ve got nothing better to do tonight.” JJ shrugged and grabbed her coat.

“Me neither, let’s go and see the old man.” said Morgan.

Garcia came rushing in to join the group, coffee in hand.

“What’s going on my lovely friends?”

“Why are you drinking coffee Garcia, it’s seven o’clock!” Morgan sighed .

“Never a bad time for coffee my dear.” Garcia smirked. Morgan took her cup away resulting in a pout from Garcia.

“We are going to surprise Rossi at his book signing. Do you want to come?” Reid asked.

“Sure! But if he asks, can we all just pretend that I read this one?” Garcia scowled. “I really have been meaning to, it would just be so much easier if there was an audiobook version.”

“I usually just ask Reid for a summary of it.” Morgan chimed in.

“I look up reviews. That helps me have something to say if Rossi ever asks.” JJ added.

“Do any of you actually read his stuff?” Emily laughed. “They are really good!”

"Why would we need to read about it when we experience it everyday,” said Morgan.

“When Rossi starts writing fantasy rom coms, then I will be ready,” said JJ.

“Or maybe historical fiction. That would be cool!” Morgan added.

“Alright, well turn on the acting then cause Rossi better believe that every single one of you has read his stuff.” Emily warned.

“Yes boss, of course.” Morgan saluted.

Emily punched him in the arm.

“Shut up, let's go.”

***

The bookstore atmosphere was warm and lively, chatter filling the air accompanied by the rustle of pages flipping. Rossi, permanent marker in hand, sat at the signing table. One by one he greeted guests, thanked them for their support and continued on. Quickly, he took a peek at his watch, about twenty more minutes until he would be free to head home. As much as he loved events like this, he was beat. He turned his attention back to the next reader. A slender hand pushed his hardcover copy in front of him.

“I’d like you to make it out to… the best agent ever.” Spencer grinned. The rest of the team all stood behind him in line, holding their own copies. Rossi jumped up in surprise.

“What are you assholes doing here?” Rossi laughed.

“Is that how you treat your fans?” JJ asked.

“Oh, Shut up.” he laughed.

“There seriously wasn’t anything better for you guys to do then come here and mess with me?”

“We want to see Rossi the author in action!” said Emily.

“Wow you guys, this really means a lot.” Rossi smiled.”I usually just keep my author's life separate from you guys, it feels a little discrediting, sometimes. It can look a little silly.”

“We are not messing with you Rossi, we want to support you.” Said JJ. “I mean come on, this is pretty cool! Look at all of the people who are here and love your writing!”

“Yeah, I guess you are right, it is pretty cool,” said Rossi.

Morgan waved his copy in front of Rossi’s face.

“Well, are you going to sign this or not? I think I can get some good money for a David Rossi signed book!” Morgan laughed.

Rossi grabbed the book out of Morgan’s hands. “Here, how about I write something about shoving this up your-”

“Rossi!” Morgan gasped. “Actually do it, I dare you!”

“Ok, you guys we are in public.” Emily sighed.

The pair exchanged a few playful punches before Rossi thanked the group once more.

“Thanks everyone, I didn’t even know that you all read my books!”

A whole smattering of approval and nods of agreement followed. Reid furrowed his brows.

“Actually-” Reid began to speak right as JJ jabbed him in his side making him yelp.

“We really are proud of you, Rossi,” said Garcia.

“I’ll be done in a bit, hang around and we can go out for a bite?” Rossi said.

While the rest of the team explored the bookstore, Emily hung back and hugged Rossi.

“I told you they would want to come. Even if you didn’t want it.” she said.

“Yeah, I guess I can’t escape it.” said Rossi.

“Reid literally pulled out the puppy dog eyes. We didn’t stand a chance.” Emily laughed.

Rossi peered at the growing line of eager readers.

“Alright get back to signing Mr. Author. Your pen awaits.” Emily smiled.

“Yes, Ma'am,” said Rossi. He turned to head back to his table. Emily spun on her heels stopping him once more.

“Oh! Also, Garcia wants you to start recording audiobooks.”

“I knew she didn’t read my book.” Rossi shook his head and turned to greet his next reader.

Chapter Text

Garcia whipped her head around and looked closely at JJ.

“JJ you too?” she grinned.

“It wasn’t my fault, it was the cheetos.” JJ whined.

“Grab your keys, let’s fucking roll!” Emily jumped off the stool.

“Yes!” JJ excitedly grabbed her keys but stood straight with realization.

“I can’t. I can’t drive,” said JJ.

“Well, I can’t drive.” Emily agreed.

“Rideshare?” asked JJ.

“No, I’ll call Penelope,” concluded Emily. Both women started to giggle while Emily tapped on her phone.

***

Garcia turned onto the street of her apartment where she saw her two friends sitting on the curb. When they saw her they both leaped up. Garcia slowed to a stop and unlocked the doors.

“Garcia! What took you so long!” Emily whined as she jumped into the front seat.

“Come on, Rossi is waiting on us!” JJ buckled her seatbelt on. Garcia whipped her head around and looked closely at JJ.

“JJ you too?” she grinned.

“It wasn’t my fault, it was the cheetos.”

JJ whined. “Oh yeah, the cheetos.”

Garcia shook her head. Emily tapped gently on the steering wheel, which was met with a glare from Garcia.

“Come on Garcia, I have been reinstated and I want to see what Rossi has got for us.”

Garcia pulled a bag out from the back seat and handed it to Emily.

“And I don’t want the rest of the team seeing you both like this at this very pressing moment. There is water in there, I want both of you pretty ladies to start drinking now.”

“Water?” groaned JJ. “JJ, drink.”

Garcia handed her a bottle as JJ playfully swatted at her. Emily joined in.

“Why can’t we just get some pizza or something. Let’s stop at-”

“Emily! Drink.” Garcia glared at both of her passengers. They both obeyed. Emily twisted open the bottle while grumbling.

“Who made you chief.”

Garcia smiled. “You could have called a rideshare.”

Emily glared. “I’m not giving you five stars.”

With everyone settled, Garcia pulled away from the curb.

“I’m hungry.” JJ exclaimed from the back.

“Look in the bag!” Garcia directed.

“Pizza pops! And they’re warm!” Emily cheered. She took a huge bite.

“I love you Garcia.” she batted her eyes with a keen smile. Garcia scoffed.

“Shut up and eat.”

JJ took her share and began to munch away at it. “You’re no fun Garcia.”

“Well you two decided to have fun without me. I can’t believe you didn’t invite me.” Garcia argued.

“You were busy doing all your tap tap tappy stuff.” JJ began typing on an air computer.

“Which you asked me to do!” Garcia squealed.

“Next time Garcia, I promise!” JJ assured the blonde.

“I'll bake you a special cake and everything.” Emily promised with a wink.

“Okay okay,” she giggled. “Keep drinking your water.” Both of her passengers groaned.

“If anyone feels sick, you tell me right away. I do not want to be cleaning out my car later. You hear me?” Garcia commanded.

“Yes boss.” Emily and JJ both responded.

“Good.” She drove through the security gates of the BAU.

“Alright, how are we doing? Are we focused?” Garcia asked.

Emily and JJ both shot up straight in their seats.

“I am so focused.” Emily glared out the window.

“Me. too.” JJ watched Garcia pull into the parking lot.

“Where are we?” JJ asked.

Garcia sighed loudly. She pulled into her designated parking spot, the bedazzled nameplate reflecting off of her headlights. She turned off the car.

“We’re going to wait here for a bit longer so you two can get it together. I’m going to text Tara and ask her to stall.” she took out her phone while Emily scrounged around the food bag.

“Do you have any more pizza pops?” she asked.

“I’ll order us some. I’m hungry now too.” Garcia replied.

“I love you Garcia.” Emily cooed.

“I love you too, now shut up.” laughed Garcia.

JJ poked her head into the front with the two ladies.

“Seriously, where are we?”

Chapter Text

“You definitely are having a rough week.” Luke said. 

“Feels like a rough month to be honest with you.” Tara sighed. “It just seems like everything that could go wrong is choosing to go wrong.”

***

The past few days have been hell. A relentless case that had kept everyone marooned at the BAU, picking through old folders on the hunt for information. Everyone was on edge, especially Tara who had become the unsub’s chosen interest. 

Seated at her messy desk, she continued to flip through dusty pages, scribbling notes if needed. Luke came over with a new box of folders and placed it on the floor beside her. Her eyes met his and they both gave each other silent nods. She slid back into her chair with a sigh. 

“Luke if the unsub doesn’t kill me first, these folders will.”

Luke glared at his friend. 

“Tara, that's not funny.”

“Oh come on Luke, I have to joke about it or else I’ll lose it. This whole case is crazy. The unsub literally left gifts on my bed. That’s fucked up. So I’m going to joke about it.”

Luke ran his hand through his hair.

“I think we need to just take a break."

Tara turned back to her notebook. 

“I’ll take a break when Rebecca isn’t scared to be at my apartment.” 

A pile of files slid off of her desk, scattering onto the floor. 

“Come on!” Tara cried out. She mockingly lifted her hands up to the sky.

“What else?”

They both crouched down and lifted up papers.

“You definitely are having a rough week.” Luke said. 

“Feels like a rough month to be honest with you.” Tara sighed. “It just seems like everything that could go wrong is choosing to go wrong.”

The patter of heels filled with the room causing both agents to swivel around. 

“Behold my dear friends. The coffee angel has arrived!” Garcia twirled around to the desks handing out drinks to the people in the bullpen. 

“Garcia, you truly are an angel.” Luke smiled as Garcia handed him a mug he spun around in his chair and chuckled. Garcia placed a cup on Tara’s desk. 

“Thanks Penelope, this is just what I needed.” Tara took a sip. Garcia swatted playfully at her. 

“Oh, well it is just a lil something-

Tara spat out the drink into the nearest trash can.

“Fuck. Is this chamomile?”

“Oops! That is mine. All of the cups look the same.” said Garcia. 

“Shit! Tara sputtered out a few more spits into the can. 

“I’m so sorry Tara, here we can just switch back.” Garica stammered. 

Tara let out a growl and opened up her drawer. 

“Tara, it’s not that big of a deal, just switch it back.” Luke shrugged.

“No! She shouted. I’m-” she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“I’m allergic to chamomile.”  she sighed.

“Oh my God.” Garcia yelled.

“What do we do? Where’s your epipen! We need a-” she squealed out in panic. 

“Tara!” Luke jumped up out of his seat. 

Rossi popped out of his office, concern on his face.

“What’s going on?” 

“Tara is having an allergic reaction and it’s all my fault!” Garcia cried out.

Rossi, eyes wide, looked at Tara who calmly signaled for everyone to rest. 

“I’m okay.” she called out. “I’m fine.” 

“You are not fine! You just had chamomile, which I gave you!” Garcia cried out, continuing to panic.  

Tara stopped her, placing her hands on her shoulders. 

“Garcia, take a breath. it's okay.” she smiled.

“Can you get me some water?” she asked. 

“Yes, I can. Tara, I'm so sorry!” her heels scrambled across the floor. Luke came over and looked Tara over. 

“Are you okay? Do we need to take you to the hospital?” Luke asked.

“No, no. It’s fine. I’ll just pop an antihistamine. I usually just get really itchy on my arms. It’s honestly just really annoying. And it’s just another thing I do not need to deal with today.” 

“Sorry everyone, I didn’t mean to scare people. I’m okay really.”

Garcia came rushing back in, three water bottles in hand. 

“I didn’t know which one to get so I grabbed my own, one from our fridge, and then I stole one from the operations break room. I wanted to give you options.” she thrust them all into Tara’s arms making Tara laugh.

“Thank you” Tara twisted the cap off of one of the plastic bottles. She took a sip then popped a pill into her mouth. She handed Garcia's bright pink bottle back to her.

“Here, take a sip as well Penelope.” 

Garcia obeyed and took a seat. 

“I’m okay. Don’t worry.” Tara assured her. 

“I’m so so so sorry,” said Garcia. 

Rossi leaned over the railings outside his office. 

“You okay Tara?”

“Yes, Rossi, I’m okay.” she replied.

“Good. Then go home.” Rossi instructed. 

“I can’t go home, there’s an unsub trying to kill me.” Tara huffed. 

Luke was already up, throwing his coat on. 

“Tara, let’s go to my place. You’ve been here for way too long already.”

Rossi began to usher Tara out of her chair, helping her pack up her belongings. 

“Just go take a nap. Seriously.” he kept pushing her away from her desk. Luke joined them. 

“Come on. I’ll drive you. I need to take a shower.” Luke offered.

“Okay fine. For a little bit.”  Tara replied. 

Tara and Luke both headed into the elevator leaving Rossi to turn back to the startled blonde sitting beside him.

“Hey come on Garcia, let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.” Rossi headed to the door. 

“I’m not hungry.” Garcia mumbled.

“Well I am. Let’s go kid.” Rossi started towards the exit.

“Come on Penelope, I’m craving ice cream too.” 

Garcia perked up.

“Alright, fine.” 

She swiftly followed him into the elevator. 

***

Garcia sat at her desk, plugging away at her assignment. A knock on the door disrupted her typing.

“Come in!” she chirped.

Tara came in. Two coffee cups in hand. 

“No chamomile this time.” 

Garcia pouted. 

“I don’t think I’ll be having chamomile for a while anyways.”

Tara took the empty seat beside Garcia. 

“Listen Garcia, I wanted to apologize to you. This case really scared me, and I was very rude to you. I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.” 

Garcia shook her head. 

“No, Tara I shouldn’t have messed up the drinks like that. It was my fault. It could have been so much worse, I feel horrible.” 

Tara took Garcia’s hands in her own.

“Garcia. I am okay. I was itchy for the evening and that was it.”

“I just feel like I’m always letting people down lately.” Garcia whispered.

Tara clasped her friend's hands harder. 

“Penelope I am so sorry that you have felt that way. I took out my anger on you and that was wrong. I feel like sometimes we use you as a punching bag when we are mad and that is not okay. I need to find a better way to take out my anger, cause I never want to do that to anyone ever again. I feel horrible every time I think about how I treated you.”

Tears formed in both women's eyes.

“You are everything to this team Garcia. You keep us together.” said Tara. 

“Thanks Tara.” Garcia smiled and gave her a tight hug. 

“You know, Morgan and I used to go to rabbit meditation classes whenever we worked a tough case. It really did wonders for his stress.”  

Tara wrinkled her nose.

“Rabbits smell.” 

“You see I thought that too, but surprisingly the benefits of the rabbits outweigh the scent, you barely notice it.” 

Tara leaned back into her chair. 

“Um, got anything else?” 

Garcia grinned.

“Actually yes, whenever Alex visits we go for mud baths. Extraordinary for your skin. You will be joining us.”

Tara smiled. 

“I would love that Penelope.”