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Ritsuka doesn’t know how they’d gotten this far, if he’s being perfectly honest.
Well, okay, figuratively he and Mafuyu have gone through the regular ups and downs of being in a relationship, navigating both the newness and the familiarity of it. They’re far from perfect and there’s still some way to go, but all in all Ritsuka thinks they couldn’t be doing any better.
Literally, though, he doesn’t know how they’d ended up here. Here being, standing in line for the Cosmo Clock 21. Ritsuka was sure they’d taken a left from the cotton candy stand, and that the Ferris wheel was on the far right of the park. He also really wishes he hadn’t just looked it up on Google, because the words world's tallest Ferris wheel when it first opened are now in large, bold letters in his mind, and they’re not the least bit comforted by the fact that though many have surpassed it since, at 132 metres it is still considered among the tallest in the world.
In an effort to clear his thoughts, he looks at Mafuyu—which normally doesn’t do anything to make the pounding in his chest subside, but today there’s something soft in his eyes that lets Ritsuka breathe a little more easily. He follows Mafuyu’s gaze and his eyes land on the bay, where they’d stood just six months ago.
Six whole months since the confession, since they’d gotten together officially. And according to Itaya’s incessant nagging for the past week, six months warrants an anniversary date.
(“We haven’t even really had a first date,” Ritsuka had blurted, which was a total mistake, judging from the horrified look that Itaya had given him, and an almost disapproving look from Ueki, who up until then had maintained his usual stoic face. “What if he thinks it’s too much?”
“Come on, Uecchi, don’t be an idiot,” Itaya had said. And Ritsuka had frowned, because a few months ago Itaya and Ueki hadn’t known about Mafuyu at all. And just because they’d extended their full support toward him, it didn’t give them the right to call him names all of a sudden. Ritsuka didn’t need the reminder that he was, indeed, an idiot when it came to this. “This is Sato-kun. He’s gonna love you for even remembering something like this in the first place!”
Ritsuka, turning unknowingly red, had opened his mouth to protest yet again, but Ueki had slammed his hands—or at least, the basketball he’d had in his hands—right before Ritsuka’s face and muttered, very seriously, “You know he’s right.”)
So here he is, in Minato Mirai, with Mafuyu. In Cosmo World, to be exact. And though Ritsuka hasn’t been to an amusement park since he was too short for the rides—which was a really long time ago—Mafuyu had practically lit up when he had suggested they come here. And that was that.
“Uenoyama-kun,” Mafuyu calls, and there’s a smile where Ritsuka’s name settles in his mouth, “remember the last time we were here?”
Of course Ritsuka remembers. Ritsuka remembers very clearly. Hell, Ritsuka doesn’t think he could ever forget if he tried—the way the sun was sinking, like his heart was, when Mafuyu bolted straight for the railing; the way all words flew from his mind as soon as Mafuyu smiled at him, with his whole body, that Ritsuka couldn’t quite believe he was real; the way Ritsuka’s tongue had tied itself together when Mafuyu had told him that he’d liked him. Romantically. In a romantical way. And then his brain had imploded on itself.
Ritsuka closes his eyes now, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks at the memory. “Yeah.”
Mafuyu snickers at him. “Remember how I told you I liked you, and then you—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ritsuka mutters, pressing a palm into his own face. “I remember. God, I really couldn’t have been any more embarrassing.”
“No,” Mafuyu replies firmly. “Not embarrassing, Uenoyama-kun. Not at all.”
“No?” Ritsuka lets out a scoff, smirking back at him. “Not even when I blanked out for, like, a whole minute? And you thought I’d gone into shock? You were pretty sure I wasn’t breathing, and you almost called 119.”
“Almost.” Mafuyu giggles, and the sound of it sends a sliver of warmth down Ritsuka’s spine. “Well, now that you mention it…”
Ritsuka feels his face burn up again. Mafuyu continues to laugh, and it’s so pleasant and melodious that he doesn’t realise they’re already at the front of the line. Ritsuka looks up at the Ferris wheel and almost immediately, his stomach plummets earthward. It hadn’t looked this tall when he’d glanced at it from the train.
“Uenoyama-kun,” Mafuyu calls, “that’s us.”
He points at the empty passenger car, and somehow Ritsuka’s feet manage to pad along toward it. As soon as the car door closes, Ritsuka presses both his hands into the seat and grips it hard. Instinctively, his eyes squeeze shut.
“Uenoyama-kun.” Mafuyu’s voice sounds far away. Have they started moving already? It doesn’t feel like it, but Ritsuka doesn’t want to risk looking. “Uenoyama-kun, are you okay?”
“Fine,” he chokes out, but it barely comes out at all. “Yes.”
“No.” Ritsuka peeks open an eye to see Mafuyu leaning toward him from where he’s sitting, across from him, eyes wide with concern. “You’re not.”
Ritsuka feels his stomach flip again, but for a completely different reason this time. The passenger car is supposed to be able to fit up to eight people, but the space barely looks like it. Mafuyu reaches over and takes one of Ritsuka’s hands into his.
“Uenoyama-kun, your hands are cold.” Mafuyu’s eyes widen once again, with some sort of understanding. “Oh! Are you afraid of heights? You should’ve said something. We didn’t have to go on this, you know.”
“I didn’t—” Ritsuka begins, and then gasps when he feels the passenger cart take a slow ascent, “oh, shit. We’re moving. Oh, shit.”
“Hey, it's okay. You’re okay.” Mafuyu strokes his knuckles with his thumb. “It’s perfectly safe. Nothing’s going to happen.”
“Right,” Ritsuka mutters, closing his eyes again, “except a chance of the rivets on this thing suddenly coming loose, and it comes apart, and we fall and have concussions, or break all our bones, and…”
Ritsuka is met with a cutting silence, but Mafuyu’s hand is still wrapped firmly around his. It’s really warm. “Sorry. I’m just—sorry for freaking out.”
“Don’t be,” Mafuyu says, and Ritsuka almost jumps, like a startled cat, in the small space when he feels Mafuyu’s lips press softly against his knuckles. “You’re safe, Uenoyama-kun. You’re safe with me.”
“Sorry, I…” Ritsuka breathes, feeling his face grow warm as he launches into a long-winded speech. “I didn’t even realise I had a fear of heights. I think it was sometime when I was around three years old. We used to have a stone wall outside our house before we brought it down. It was there when we moved in. Yayoi used to climb it, because she was a little taller then, and I was a dumb kid who thought I could do the same. And I did. I got up on it, but I couldn’t come back down. She told me to jump. She said she’d catch me, and I actually believed her, except neither of us took into account that she was skinny and barely six and in no way capable of catching a chubby three-year-old.”
Ritsuka grimaces. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”
“Stop apologising, Uenoyama-kun.” Mafuyu smiles at him. It’s easy and gentle and it makes Ritsuka flush, right up to his ears. “I love your voice. Keep talking. I love when you ramble on like that.”
“I love your voice, though. I really—oh God,” Ritsuka groans, inhaling sharply through his nose and clamping his jaws shut to keep his heart from jumping out. He loosens his grip from Mafuyu’s hand, bringing both his palms to press into his own face. “This thing’s definitely moving.”
Okay, it’s probably moving, but Ritsuka can definitely feel it. They’re high up now, but he doesn’t want to know just how high up. He doesn’t need to. Since the thing is probably moving, anyway.
He feels something settle into the space next to him, and as he tears his hands away from his face, his eyes open to meet Mafuyu’s. His heart flies back up to his throat. “Wh—what are you doing? You need to sit across from me! It’s going to tip over! Mafuyu, what are you—”
“Shh, Uenoyama-kun,” Mafuyu murmurs, and Ritsuka feels a hand running up and down his back. “You still weren’t breathing properly, so I thought this might help a little. You don’t want me to almost call 119 again, do you?” He lets out a small laugh. “We’re not moving, trust me. We’re perfectly still. It’ll be over soon, ’kay?”
It actually does help a lot, and Ritsuka closes his eyes again as his breathing becomes steadier. He reaches one of his hands to tangle easily back into Mafuyu’s fingers, and his face grows warm again. God, will there ever come a time when he wouldn’t be so goddamn embarrassing?
“Are you feeling better?” Mafuyu asks. His voice is so close, right by Ritsuka’s ear, and he manages a weak nod. “Good. ’Cause if you’re up for it, I think you should open your eyes.”
Ritsuka doesn’t reply, only nods again.
“Ritsu-kun,” Mafuyu murmurs, and what the hell, that’s totally unfair. That sends a brand new jolt all the way through his bones. “Hey.”
When Ritsuka’s eyes flicker open, Mafuyu has pressed his face up so close to his that it makes him shudder. The view beyond melts away and all Ritsuka can see are his eyes, wide and bright and beautiful. In a second Mafuyu closes those eyes, tilts his head, and presses a light and careful kiss to Ritsuka’s lips.
It’s short and sweet and it makes Ritsuka forget the Ferris wheel, and the entire world. His grip on the seat loosens beneath him and he almost slips altogether. Wide-eyed and frozen to the spot, he watches as Mafuyu pulls away and stares at him, cheeks a little redder in the sunset. Subtle, but utterly captivating. And then he smiles, and it completely shatters the last of Ritsuka’s composure.
“Mafuyu,” Ritsuka says, not recognising his own voice, “what about, um, privacy?”
“Actually,” Mafuyu replies, biting his lower lip, “I don’t think we could get any more privacy than we do right here.”
Ritsuka dares to sneak a look around them to see that Mafuyu’s right, and he also thinks that maybe it’s not so bad after all up here. Maybe he’s still reeling from the kiss, but his fear seems almost senseless now. The sun has dipped lower down, and the sky is an unusual pink that’s not unlike Mafuyu’s face in this very moment, and no doubt his own, too.
“Wow,” he breathes, still dazed and warm all over, “okay, this is kind of pretty.”
“Isn’t it?” Mafuyu squeezes his hand gently. “It’s the kind of view you could only get from up here, I think.”
“Okay, I get it. The sunset, and the Ferris wheel. It’s—I, um.” Ritsuka looks back at him, and his gaze unwittingly drifts low, to his mouth. “Mafuyu.”
Mafuyu smiles at him again. He lifts his hand up to Ritsuka’s face. His thumb just barely brushes his chin, yet even that is able to make Ritsuka go perfectly still. “C’mere.”
This time it’s Ritsuka who leans in first after drawing a sharp, shuddering breath, and kisses him deeply, desperately, with his eyes closed. Mafuyu hums pleasantly against his lips and it almost makes him smile, so he responds with a satisfied noise that gathers at the back of his throat. Mafuyu’s fingers find his hair, and wind round his neck, and then back to his hair again, and Ritsuka could very nearly die from knowing that he’s wanted like this, when all he’s ever known is to want.
When Mafuyu pulls away, Ritsuka’s face follows after his for a brief second before he realises that he’s out of breath. He opens his eyes slowly, stupefied, and Mafuyu blinks back at him, open-mouthed and sighing. He gives Ritsuka a contented little smile.
“You really like me that much, hm, Uenoyama-kun?” Mafuyu teases.
Ritsuka flushes yet again. “I—”
The rest of the words don’t make it out of his mouth because they, along with his heart, take a deep plunge as soon as the passenger car starts to descend. Mafuyu instinctively wraps his arms around Ritsuka. He doesn’t let go when they come to a stop where they’d started; not even when they stumble, almost ungainly, out of the passenger car and back into the park.
Just like six months ago, Ritsuka lets Mafuyu lead them to the bay, where the last of the sunlight disappears down the water. Once again, he thinks back to the last time they’d stood here—really thinks this time, past his own stilted speech and awkward movements—and makes a decision.
“Mafuyu,” Ritsuka says, taking a deep and determined breath, “I love you, you know.”
He watches Mafuyu’s eyes go wide, watches as his mouth parts slowly before a playful smirk takes shape around it. “You mean, as friends?”
The series of emotions that Ritsuka undergoes is incredible; from shock to sheer irritation, before it settles into embarrassment. He feels the heat return to his cheeks, and he turns his head away indignantly. Mafuyu lets out a laugh and Ritsuka thinks it’s pathetic that the sound of it is enough to melt away his irritation.
“Kidding. I’m kidding. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.” Mafuyu reaches over to thread his fingers through his. “You’re so cute, Uenoyama-kun.”
Ritsuka huffs in response, but turns back to face him anyway. And then, like a pair of magnets, they’re pulled instinctively toward each other. Mafuyu’s hands are already at home on either side of Ritsuka’s jaw, like they’ve been doing this for forever, for more than just six months. He murmurs the beginning of an answer, but Ritsuka doesn’t wait to hear the rest of it before he leans in swiftly and catches Mafuyu’s mouth in his. He can hear it in the way Mafuyu laughs, easy and free, against his lips.