Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s getting dark by the time they leave the stadium. The air has cooled, the wind has picked up. LA appears unchanged. People continue milling up and down the sidewalks. Traffic continues to stall. Streetlights flicker. Businesses lock their doors for the evening. Dogs bark into the night air.

It all feels wrong, considering the monumental events that had transpired mere miles away.

Chloe wraps her long brown coat tighter around herself, using it as a shield against the breeze as she rides in the passenger seat of Lucifer’s car. Perhaps also as a way to cover the evidence of the mortal wound she had sustained only a short time ago. She fiddles with the ring that now lives on the fourth finger of her left hand. It’s too big, so she keeps her hand clenched, worried it might fall off otherwise.

“Love you too, monkey,” she says into the phone she is clutching to her ear with her right hand. It’s so good to see you, monkey, her father’s voice says in her mind. Chloe squeezes her eyes shut. “Goodnight.”

Foreseeing her own potential absence, she had dropped Trixie off with Dan’s parents earlier that day with the understanding that she would be staying with them for the night. None of them had known what would happen as they prepared for war, but Chloe had felt certain that she wouldn’t be home in time for dinner. She tries not to think about how close she was to never coming home at all.

Trying to take deep breaths, Chloe takes a moment to catalogue the sensations running through her body. She hasn’t had so much as a moment to do any kind of reflecting until now. It had been such a blur, one unbelievable moment after another, and she struggles now to force her body to let go of the adrenaline and cortisol making her hands shake and her eyes dart back and forth.

The aftermath of the battle had been a whirlwind, Lucifer clearly a little overwhelmed and unsure of how to proceed. He had ordered his siblings to return to the Silver City, Michael in tow. He told them to make preparations for a trial – one which would allow them to come to a decision about his brother’s actions and subsequent punishment. He may not know how to be God, but he knows justice.

The angels may have all knelt for him as he raised the Flaming Sword above his head, but it was clear to Chloe as she watched that there were still reservations amongst many of them. Aren’t you coming, brother? One of them had asked after Lucifer’s command. You have duties to perform, decisions to make.

Lucifer had actually laughed lightly. You’ve been living without direct orders from Dad for millennia, I’m sure you’ll all survive for a few Earth days without me. I’ve business to conduct here.

Amenadiel had provided a calming, mediating voice throughout. Chloe had always been very aware of the angel’s way of cutting through tension. He’d provided enough space for Lucifer to say what he needed to without causing more conflict.

Throughout, Chloe had remained standing off to the side, feeling her humanity more than ever. She had gazed at Lucifer, unable to think beyond the fact that he was now literally the most powerful being in the universe. She watched as he handed off Azrael’s blade to the Angel of Death herself with some quip about keeping it somewhere a little harder for manipulative bastards to find it this time.

Eventually, angels began taking flight. Lucifer had finally looked in her direction and in no time at all he was jogging towards her. They had collided bodily, Lucifer lifting her off the ground in his tight embrace, swaying her back and forth slightly. He’d laughed joyously against her hair, and she’d let herself smile too. It felt right. He felt right.

Let’s go home, love, he’d murmured, lowering her back to the ground. The new moniker wasn’t lost on her, and it had bounced around in her brain as she allowed him to lead her away from the stadium and towards his car.

Now, as they drive down the LA streets towards LUX, she reaches out her left hand to clasp one of his. He glances over at her, then lifts her hand to bring it to his mouth. His thumb swipes back and forth over hers as he kisses the ring on her finger. Chloe does her best to soak up the love and comfort that the gesture is steeped in, but she feels oddly detached.

He says something about getting the ring resized, perhaps by a jeweller who owes him a favour, and Chloe nods along. They’re quiet for the rest of the drive, but their hands don’t part from their place between them.

Lucifer looks the picture of divinity in the soft blue glow of the bar lights. Chloe watches as he picks an ornate glass decanter off the wall, pours himself a drink, hesitates, and then pours a second. He hands it to her with a soft smile and she takes it.

Chloe winces from the burn of the alcohol as she takes long pulls from the glass, hoping it might ease the trembling of her hands. Maybe even the ache in her heart.

Setting her empty glass down on the bar top, she absently rubs at a spot on her abdomen. She feels itchy. She plucks at her sticky shirt where it’s caked to her body with half-dried blood. Lucifer is there in front of her suddenly, taking her hand in his and beckoning her to follow him. She can’t help but wince at the pain on his face that he’s clearly trying to hide.

When they reach his obscenely large bathroom, Chloe’s mind is thrown back to the moments they’ve shared in here over the last couple of weeks. Little moments – sharing counterspace as they brush their teeth, dancing in silk robes to her favourite 90s jams, soaking in the tub in the glow of flickering candles. The room felt different tonight, though.

Lucifer starts the shower behind her as she begins to undress. She shrugs her jacket off of her shoulders and frowns at the dark stains on the interior lining. Wearing one of her favourite jackets to a celestial war may not have been the best decision.

When she hesitates with her thin white t-shirt, afraid of what she might find underneath, his hands are there to help guide the fabric up and over her head. She turns towards the large mirror that hangs over the counter and winces at the splotchy patterns of blood that stand out against her pale skin.

His hands on her shoulders urge her to turn towards him. He kneels before her, inspecting the area where they both know the wooden staff had entered. His thumb swipes over the spot, and Chloe knows he’s trying to convince himself that the skin really has knitted itself back together. Her stomach swoops as her brain replays the intense pressure, the searing pain, the waves of wooziness that had come as the blood drained from her body.

“I died,” she whispers, acknowledging it for the first time. She didn’t mean to say it out loud, but the words just fell out of her. Her eyes snap to his where he’s still staring at her torso.

“Yes,” he confirms on a choked gasp. His ever-present armour cracks right there in front of her, and his eyes fill with tears. Chloe feels his pain viscerally, remembering him crying against her, and his misery is unbearable in that moment.

She drops to kneel with him, shaking her head and cupping his face in her hands. “No, I’m okay. I’m okay, Lucifer,” she pleads with him, her thumbs wiping under his eyes. “You saved me. You brought me back. Back from… back from Heaven…”

The words come from her lips softly, and her eyes glaze over slightly as memories assault her. She feels herself trembling, but when she closes her eyes all she can see is her father’s face. He’s smiling, laughing, and so is she.

Chloe gasps when she becomes aware of warm water running over her body. She’s not sure how, but they’re both naked now and he’s using one of his fancy shower gels to gently clean the blood off her body. She watches the red water swirl down the drain and tries desperately to stay in the present.

Chloe dreams of heaven. She sits with her father. She revels in the cool breeze, the taste of Hawaiian bread and fried eggs, the absolute absence of pain, grief, or anxiety. She soaks it in and the warmth that she feels inside herself is nothing short of divine.

She basks in the sunlight for what feels like hours, talking and laughing with her dad. Something in the back of her mind wants to tell him about something, or someone, or sometime, but all she seems to be able to focus on is this moment she’s in. She sighs contentedly as she sips at a glass of something light and bubbly, and her dad beams at her. Isn’t it wonderful, monkey?

When she wakes, it’s with a gasp. Chloe bolts upright, eyes searching the surrounding darkness. She clutches her abdomen as if it’s still gaping open, groaning at all the little aches and pains radiating throughout her body that hadn’t existed when she’d been dead.

The feeling of the silk bed sheets against her skin is suddenly too much, so she scrambles away. She’s sweating and shaking, and everything hurts. It’s all so much. She hits the hard floor with a thud and can’t help the whine that leaves her lips as she sits with her knees tucked up against her chest.

Then, he’s there. Crouched in front of her. “Detective? Chloe,” he begs, although something tells her he’s been calling for her before this moment. “You’re alright. You’re safe,” he tells her quietly.

She shakes her head wildly, breaths coming quick and fast. Nothing’s alright. “Take me back,” she gasps. The confusion on his face irritates her. “Take me back. Everything hurts, Lucifer. Take me back!”

When the realization of what she’s asking crosses his face, she feels relieved. He understands. He’ll fix this. But then – no, there’s only heartbreak in his expression.

“Chloe… you don’t mean that. You’re okay.” He wraps himself around her, dragging her into his lap on the floor. She lets herself be utterly surrounded by him as she cries, soaking up the modicum of love and warmth that she can find. It should be more, she thinks. Everything here feels flat.

When he speaks again, it almost sounds like he’s talking to himself more than to her. “You just need to reacclimate, darling, that’s all. Shake off some of the glitter and rainbows that place tends to embed in you humans.”

“I feel so empty,” she whispers, a confession. He sighs heavily.

“You’re so loved here. All of your friends and family, they care about you so much. There’s so much here for you, I promise.” Lucifer pulls back enough that she’s forced to look into his eyes. “I love you,” he tells her with all the honesty in the world. She sighs at the genuine joy she feels at the words.

Suddenly, she’s chasing the feeling. She surges forward, pressing her lips against his. The kiss is one of mutual relief and reunion and respite. Chloe needs more.

She shifts so that she’s straddling his thighs, fingers tangling into the short hair at the base of his skull and tugging. She deepens the kiss, whining softly into his mouth. He groans against her as she rocks her hips.

Lucifer breaks the kiss, panting. She chases him, placing kisses along his jaw instead. “Please,” she begs against his skin.

“Detective… are you sure?” He’s searching her eyes, clearly struggling to understand what she needs.

She kisses him again. “Make me feel good,” Chloe says, resting her forehead against his. She needs him. “Please. Please, Lucifer.”

One of his hands cups her cheek as the other snakes under the oversized t-shirt she wears to grab her hip. “Alright, love. Shh,” he murmurs, unable to deny her anything.

They rarely leave each other’s side the next few days. Amenadiel returns to Earth, having gone with his siblings to the Silver City in an attempt to keep the peace and ensure Michael’s secure imprisonment. Ultimately, though, he goes home to Linda and Charlie.

Time moves differently between the two planes, Lucifer tells her, and he doesn’t seem worried about leaving his siblings to fend for themselves for a while. He’s hesitant to take his eyes off her.

Chloe knows he’s worried, certainly about her wellbeing but also her safety. She’d died in his arms, after all. Every night he sleeps with his hand pressed to her abdomen as if to remind himself that her wounds had healed.

They stay mostly in her apartment, with Trixie. Chloe has been keeping the girl out of school, knowing she wasn’t ready for her peers’ inevitable questions but also needing her daughter’s presence more than ever. Lucifer helps in the ways he knows how. He cooks for them, accompanies them on errands, teases Trixie in the moments when she isn’t overcome with grief. Chloe lives for those moments – the rare smiles.

Otherwise, she merely exists. She wanders the apartment aimlessly whenever she doesn’t have a specific task to perform. Letting herself get caught up in her grief is no longer an option, as every time it has happened, she’s been a nearly inconsolable wreck until she exhausts herself. So, instead, she numbs out.

It works for a while. She surreptitiously rids the apartment of reminders of Dan and her father. Pictures are tucked away into drawers. Hawaiian bread does not grace her countertop. Other trinkets and mementos disappear into closets. Even her police badge is hidden away at the back of her dresser, a reminder of the career that had taken so much from her.

One afternoon, Chloe walks into the living room and finds Trixie starting up the movie Soul on the television in front of her. She quickly acquires the remote off the coffee table, switches to a cheesy comedy, and walks back out of the room. Trixie doesn’t understand, but she also doesn’t argue.

She drinks. She opens every curtain in the apartment to ensure every bit of sunlight possible is shining into each room. She sits on the back patio with her eyes closed, daydreaming. She jumps Lucifer’s bones at every opportunity.

Chloe watches Lucifer, now, as he places a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of her on the counter. It’s early and Trixie is still asleep in her room. Chloe’s been sipping her coffee as he cooked, wincing at the sting from the hot liquid on her tongue. She’d dreamt of Heaven again last night. Each time she wakes from such a dream it feels as though every sensation is magnified.

She pushes the eggs around her plate, only occasionally bringing the fork to her mouth. Nothing tastes right. She doesn’t remember the last time she’s felt hungry. She downs her coffee instead, looking forward to the energy boost that would come.

“You haven’t been eating,” Lucifer says quietly, glancing between her plate and her eyes. His gaze is serious, full of concern. She watches as it starts to glow from within, cracks of light spilling out of his skin, flame overtaking his face…

She blinks, and it’s gone. He’s okay. He’s right here in front of her.

Lucifer takes her fork from her gently when she doesn’t disagree with him. He spears a few pieces of food onto the utensil and places it back into her hand. “Please?” he implores.

“I’m not a kid, Lucifer. You don’t need to feed me,” she snaps irritably, though her heart isn’t in it.

He smirks at her. “Could’ve fooled me. Prove it then, darling.”

“Why do you care? They’re just eggs. I’m not hungry.” She scratches at the countertop with her blunt fingernails.

He grabs at her hand, stilling her agitated movements. “You barely touched your pasta last night, Detective. Only half a sandwich at lunch. You’ve been tired, I can tell.” He glances over to the small table by the door that used to house a number of framed photos. “I’m not sure that you can hide your pain away forever, love. Dr. Linda taught me that.”

The concern in his voice cuts through her like a knife. She’s hurting him and she can’t stand it. She drops off the stool she had been sitting on, rounding the counter and standing in front of him.

“I’m okay. You don’t need to worry about me,” she tells him, resting her hands on his chest. His own hands come up to cover hers.

“You’re all I need to worry about right now, Chloe.”

He’s in front of her, groaning in pain, burning up as he slips his ring onto her finger. No.

Her lips stretch into a forced smile. “I’m fine, babe. Really. Still just… reacclimating, right?”

He nods, but it’s uncertain. She has to convince him. Needs to replace the pain on his face with anything else. Sunlight, a cool breeze, the fresh scent of grass and flowers. Sparkling water and blue skies.

She pushes herself onto her toes and kisses him. He’s stiff against her, but she isn’t deterred. She sucks his lower lip into her mouth while running a hand down his torso towards his belt. She whimpers into his mouth the way she knows he likes.

He pulls away and frowns down at her.

“What?” she snaps.

“This is what I mean. I don’t know how to help, Detective, but this doesn’t seem right.”

She rolls her eyes and steps back. “Why? Why shouldn’t I chase the few things that actually make me feel something good? Why aren’t you doing the same? I know you’re hurting too, Lucifer.” Tears well up in her eyes and she hates herself for crying so often. “You were there, surely you felt what I did? It calls to me. How am I supposed to deal with all of this when I know what it’s like to be free of all of it?”

Lucifer’s gaze drops to the floor between them. He looks defeated. “I don’t know.”

“Right,” she says, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. Giving up, she turns away and stalks to the living room.

Lucifer waits until Chloe is sound asleep in the bed next to him that night to make the phone call that he knows he needs to. He trails a hand gently over her golden hair where it spills over her shoulder. He’s terrified. Terrified that she’s broken, that he’s finally put her through something that stripped all of the light from inside her.

After one more soft caress, he stands and wraps his silk robe around himself. He descends the stairs, quietly peeking into Trixie’s room to check on the girl as he passes. Satisfied that she’s asleep, he shuffles through the sliding glass door and lowers himself into one of the Detective’s plastic patio chairs. He’ll get her a new set one of these days.

After lighting a cigarette and taking a deep drag, he hits Linda’s number on his phone and lifts it to his ear.

“Lucifer? Everything okay?” She sounds tired and somewhat concerned. He can hardly blame her. It isn’t often that he calls her late, and when he does, it’s rarely for a happy reason.

“I apologize for calling so late, Doctor. I just… I don’t know what else to do,” he says with a sigh. “It’s the Detective. She’s… struggling. With her time in Heaven.”

Linda hums on the other end of the line. “Well, that’s to be expected. She died for a moment, Lucifer. Near-death experiences often result in trauma responses.”

“It wasn’t… she didn’t have a near-death experience. It’s not the same as humans whose hearts have stopped for a few moments before being resuscitated.”

This seems to pique Linda’s interest. “No? So, when that happens, people don’t make it to Heaven or Hell before returning?”

“No. Azrael knows when it’s a soul’s true time. She doesn’t transport a soul that she knows has a chance at continuing life on Earth.”

“So the fact that she took Chloe’s soul to Heaven…” she prompts.

“… means that Chloe died. Truly died. She was meant to die in that stadium, but I intervened. Which is what I’m trying to tell you, Doctor. I fear that this isn’t only a human response to trauma. It’s as though Heaven has… marked her.”

Linda blows out a long breath. “Surely, in all of human history, this has happened before. To someone. What about… Jesus was resurrected wasn’t he?”

He shakes his head as he takes another drag from his cigarette before exhaling. “No. You humans have that whole story wrong. It doesn’t matter, there are only three humans I know who have died and been brought back to life, and that’s Malcolm Graham, Charlotte Richards, and Eve.” Abel too, he supposes, but that wasn’t quite the same.

“Malcolm and Charlotte went to hell,” Linda reminds him.

“Yes, and nobody can deny the effects it had on them. Malcolm was… manic. As if he had boundless energy and zest for life. Endless hunger. I suppose he was basking in all the pleasures of Earth that Hell strips away. Gorging himself on them.” He reaches for the crystal ash tray on the table in front of him, stamping out the finished smoke. Having to recall Malcolm Graham’s presence in their lives is unpleasant. Charlotte’s reaction hadn’t been quite the same, but she hadn’t even been aware that she’d been in Hell.

“And Chloe?” The doctor asks. “How does that compare to her reactions?”

“It’s the exact bloody opposite. At first, it was as though all of her pain and grief were amplified. She was inconsolable, Doctor. Over Dan’s death, my death, Trixie’s loss. But the last few days, she’s completely withdrawn. She’s removed all traces of Dan or her father from her home. She can’t stand any sort of sad music or movies. The only times she looks peaceful are when she’s sleeping or the odd time I can get a laugh out of the child.” He sighs heavily. “She looks at me as if I’m a ghost.”

When Linda doesn’t immediately respond, he can’t help but think beyond mere symptoms. “She said she feels as though she’s being called back. I’m… I’m worried, Linda,” he says and can’t help the way that his voice breaks as he does so.

“Breathe deeply for a moment, Lucifer,” she tells him in a low, soothing tone. “Chloe is okay right now. She’s safe.”

“I can’t lose her again,” he whispers.

“I know. What about Eve? She came back from Heaven. Do you know if she experienced anything like this?” Linda questions, and it grounds him.

He’s refocused now. “No. Not that I was able to detect, anyway. Maybe the difference is the amount of time she spent there? The fact that she made the decision to leave?”

“Maybe,” Linda agrees. “She’s the only person who might truly understand what Chloe’s going through. Or at least what she experienced in death. It might be worthwhile to speak with her.”

Even knowing better than anyone how overjoyed Eve was to be free from Heaven, Lucifer can’t help but agree.

Chloe has a routine now for waking up after dreaming of Heaven. It’s not perfect. She immediately rises from bed and heads for the bathroom where she takes a lukewarm shower. Any other temperature feels either like fire or ice. She dresses in the softest, loosest clothes she can find, ties her hair up loosely so that the damp strands aren’t tickling her neck and shoulders, and heads downstairs.

She makes her coffee with more cream than she would normally take, looking to cut the bitterness. She inhales the scent, enjoying the pleasant aroma, and fights against the voice in her head telling her that there’s a better way to exist.

When Lucifer joins her, planting a kiss on the top of her head and bidding her good morning as he passes, she makes a deal with herself. She’ll eat this morning. For him. Maybe he’ll make her pancakes.

Blueberry or chocolate chip, Chlo? Dan’s voice echoes in her mind. She slams her eyes shut.

“My siblings have been praying to me,” Chloe hears, so she opens her eyes to see Lucifer facing away from her, shuffling through her mug collection to find his favourite one. When he finds the large, dark blue ceramic mug, he plucks it from the cupboard. “I’m not sure how much longer I can avoid them.”

Chloe hums thoughtfully over her own mug. She’d assumed this would happen eventually. He’s God, now, after all.

She thinks he must see her lack of response as a sign of hesitancy, because he turns towards her with reassurances immediately. “You needn’t worry about me burning up again. When I awoke in Heaven after saving you, I felt perfectly well. And I won’t be gone long, darling. Only long enough to give them some direction. I’d like to see with my own eyes that Michael is adequately secured, as well.” He takes her hand into his, thumb swiping back and forth comfortingly.

Chloe smiles up at him when she thinks of him unfurling his shimmery white wings and taking to the sky, flying up into the clouds and through the gates of Heaven. She can’t help but imagine him lying in the grass by the lake, basking in the sun. A feeling of warmth fills her, and she imagines herself and Trixie lying on either side of him.

“Take us with you,” she blurts out.

Lucifer’s hand stills in her own. He lets out a little exhale through his nose and furrows his brows. “What?”

“Me and Trix. Fly us up with you, we can help you with the trial preparations. And the restructuring if you want. We can all be together; you don’t have to do this alone!” Chloe feels energized at the thought and can’t help the laugh that bubbles up in her. “Oh, Trixie will love it there. She’ll get to meet her grandpa, Lucifer.”

She looks up at him where he’s still standing with the kitchen counter between them. His expression doesn’t scream ‘excited’.

“Chloe,” he starts, hesitating. “No human has ever entered Heaven in their living form. I’ve no idea what would happen to either of you. I’m not exactly willing to use you both as guinea pigs, darling.”

Her gaze doesn’t leave his when she says, “You’re God.”

His head tilts. “Yes… but I’ve no idea what that means yet. I don’t know what I can and can’t do, or even how to do any of this. I’m afraid I can’t snap my fingers and bring you up for a holiday in the Silver City, love.”

Chloe nods, turning her attention to the wall behind him now as she thinks. He’s right, of course. They still have no idea what all any of this entails or what abilities Lucifer has at his disposal. There have been talks of self-actualization and whether an angel can even possess the powers God did.

Nonetheless, Chloe struggles to let the idea go. Images of her father embracing his granddaughter dance across her mind. She’s beautiful. You did such a great job, Chloe. She’s just like you. She needs to go back. It tugs at her like a leash around her neck.

Her gaze finally snaps back to Lucifer. “Maybe… maybe we should do it properly then.”

Lucifer physically pulls half a step backwards at her words. His hand almost pulls out of hers, but she grasps it more strongly.

“Tell me you’re not suggesting what I think you are,” he begs.

Chloe’s eyes go wide at his tone, and she reaches out to pull both of his hands into hers now. “It would be okay, Lucifer!” she tells him, smiling disarmingly. She hadn’t meant to scare him. He doesn’t need to be scared. “This life… things don’t end here. I lived my whole life thinking this was it but it’s not. It’s not! We could be happy there, truly happy, and once you get Dan up there too everything will be perfect. It’s beautiful, Lucifer, gorgeous. Wait till you see it…”

She trails off, finding it difficult to hold his gaze as her mind goes fuzzy as images bombard her. She blinks hard, and finally notices how glassy and wet his eyes are. She frowns. Why doesn’t he understand?

“I have, Detective,” he reminds her gently. “When I came to get you. To bring you home. When I sacrificed myself to bring you home to your daughter.”

She thinks. It’s true, he had been there with her. He had come to get her. She had wanted to come back when he’d reminded her of Trixie and everyone else. “Right. Right, yeah, I know. I know,” she says quietly.

He rounds the counter slowly then, rotating her stool so that she’s facing him. His hands come up to cup her face as he speaks to her quietly. “This is Heaven talking, love. This isn’t you. You wouldn’t…” His voice drops to a mere whisper now. “You wouldn’t hurt Trixie.”

She pulls in a sharp breath. Hurt Trixie? Of course, she wouldn’t –

Chloe is thrown abruptly back into reality when she realizes what she had just implied. The shame is immediate and visceral. Her body trembles all over as she becomes aware of the sheer horror of what she had wanted.

She feels as though she can’t breathe as she reaches out and grips the fabric of his suit jacket in her fists. She drops her head to his chest. “What’s wrong with me?” she cries miserably.

When she feels his hand come up to stroke her hair, she can’t help but think she doesn’t deserve his comfort.

“We’re going to fix this,” he tells her, confident even through his own tears. “I promise.”

Of course, Lucifer doesn’t want to leave her alone now. He had been honest about needing to make a trip to deal with his siblings, and he was even more desperate now to ask around about the effects of Heaven on living souls. He isn’t sure that anyone will have the information he wants, but he has to try.

In the end, Chloe agrees when he suggests he call Linda and ask her to come stay with them while he’s gone. The doctor is more than amenable to the plan on the phone, even as Lucifer gently let’s her in on the latest development in their dilemma. As always, her calm and steady energy lowers his stress levels. He thanks her and hangs up the phone, determined to at least ensure the Detective eats something before he leaves.

When Linda arrives about an hour later, Chloe has been sitting on the couch in her living room for a while, battling with her dissonant thoughts. She struggles with the intense disgust she feels for herself, but the ever-present draw towards Heaven is never far behind.

She’s shocked, however, when she looks up to see Linda with Charlie in her arms. She’d brought her baby? Had Lucifer not adequately explained what was happening?

Linda walks into the living room slowly with a smile on her face, balancing the baby on her hip. Lucifer trails a few steps behind. “Hi, Chloe. It’s so good to see you,” she says, taking a seat.

“You trust me? Around your baby?” Chloe asks nervously, and she hates how Lucifer’s face crumples from where he stands behind Linda.

“Of course I do, Chloe,” Linda says without hesitation. “I know you’re hurting, and that you’re scared, but I know you’d never hurt anyone.” Linda reaches a hand out, placing it on her knee, and Chloe finds herself smiling gratefully at the other woman.

Lucifer struggles to leave. “I’ll return as swiftly as possible, I swear,” he tells her, now sitting next to her on the couch. “I only need to appease them. Perhaps one of my siblings will know something about this, Detective. A way to help. Raphael, maybe…”

Chloe nods, taking in a deep breath the way she does when she’s facing a particularly difficult crime scene. “It’s okay, Lucifer. I’ll be okay,” she tells him, and she thinks she means it.

They hold each other for a moment, momentarily creating their own bubble despite the other occupants of the small space. “I love you,” he whispers against her hair.

She smiles widely, perhaps for the first time that day, and kisses him. When she pulls back, she says, “I love you, too. Now, go, before I grab hold of you and hitch a ride up there with you like a stowaway.”

He acknowledges her attempt at humour with a small huff, but they both know they’re hardly at a point to laugh genuinely about any of this. Instead, he kisses her chastely once more. “See you soon.”

Chloe finds herself enjoying the company in her home more than she thought she would. Trixie is still dealing with Dan’s death in cycles of sadness, irritability, and clinginess that Chloe finds challenging to navigate. Linda is a calming, validating presence for the girl, though, and they fill the afternoon with board games and colouring.

Linda lets Trixie help feed and entertain Charlie, which seems to brighten the girl’s mood. Chloe watches, trying to soak up the bubble of hope that the scene spawns within her. Trixie’s strong and she has so many people who love her. She can still feel happiness here. She’ll be happy again someday, even if there’s a Dan-shaped hole in her heart.

At some point, Linda suggests dinner. Chloe rifles through take out menus, trying to decide on something comforting that she might be able to stomach. Spying a glossy brochure with green and red text, she calls over to Trixie where she’s hovering over baby Charlie.

“What about Chinese, baby? We haven’t had your favourite orange chicken in a long time.” Chloe brings the menu with her into the living room, handing it to the girl.

Trixie seems to search the page for a moment before her eyes catch on something. “No,” she says. “I want General Tao’s, not orange chicken.”

Chloe blinks down at the girl in confusion. “General Tao’s? That’s spicy, monkey, you won’t like it.”

“Yes, I will,” she says, putting the menu down.

“Trix – orange chicken is your favourite,” Chloe reminds her, crouching down to be level with her daughter.

She avoids her gaze. “No, it’s not. Daddy let me try his General Tao’s once.”

Something clicks in Chloe’s brain at that. Of course. It’s Dan’s favourite dish from this restaurant. “I remember. You didn’t like it, baby,” she says with a sad smile.

“Yes, I did. Or – I do now. Just order it, Mom.” Trixie stands up now, agitated. “Mr. Zhao always makes it special for Dad. He knows you, he’ll know it’s for Dad and he’ll add extra green onions like always.”

Chloe stares at her daughter, eyes filling abruptly at the pain that’s so clearly radiating from her small body.

“Why do you look like that?” Trixie demands when she notices Chloe’s reaction. “You don’t have to tell him… you don’t have to tell him he’s dead. It’s just Chinese food, Mom! Just order it!” she yells before storming up the staircase and out of sight.

Sniffing lightly, Chloe moves to sit on the couch, Chinese menu in her hand. She barely notices when Linda sits close. Before she can start talking about normal grief reactions, Chloe turns towards her.

“How? How am I supposed to watch this and do nothing when I know there’s a place for her where she’ll feel none of that grief, none of that hurt?” she demands, although she keeps her voice low to ensure Trixie wouldn’t hear from upstairs. “It was… it was beautiful, and peaceful, and quiet, and there wasn’t a negative thought in my mind. And then I saw Lucifer walking towards me and for a moment it was even better. No war, no Michael, no angels, or demons. Just Lucifer and my dad and peace.” Chloe can’t stop a tear from falling down her cheek at the thought.

“How could I not want to bring her there? How can this possibly be better?” she asks Linda, helplessness consuming her.

Linda wraps and arm around her shoulders comfortingly. “I can’t pretend to know what this is like for you, Chloe. This experience is completely singular, totally unique. What I can tell you, though, is that everything you’re feeling now – everything she’s feeling now – it’s temporary. This pain will fade. All feelings do.”

Chloe nods, though it’s hard to imagine these feelings fading.

“New feelings will inevitably come tonight, and tomorrow,” Linda continues. “But those will be temporary too. And it’s all because of the love you two hold for Dan. And the love you hold for Trixie. We can’t love without the risk of loss.”

“I know,” Chloe agrees, her tears drying. “I’m just… I’m drowning in it.”

Eventually, Chloe pulls herself together and orders the food, including an order of both General Tao’s chicken and orange chicken. Trixie creeps down the stairs when she hears the front door open and accepts a hug from Chloe before dishing out the food.

Trixie pretends to eat the food she’d hoped would make her feel closer to her father, but eventually gravitates back to what she loves. Chloe only picks at her own beef and broccoli, her throat tight and her mouth dry. Her wine, on the other hand, enters her body easily.

Amenadiel stops by to pick up Charlie, but Linda stays. Chloe sets her up in the guest room that used to be Maze’s. Linda bids her goodnight with a reminder to wake her if she needed company.

Chloe peeks into her daughter’s room to find her already in bed and sleeping. She remembers when Trixie used to look so small curled up in the middle of this bed, but it’s not that way anymore. She creeps over, gently brushing a kiss to her daughter’s forehead.

Abruptly, she feels the tug in her gut again. The urge to bundle the girl up and find a way – any way – to return to Heaven washes over her. She stomps it down stubbornly, rushing out of the room.

Going to bed is the last thing she wants to do now. She’s shaken by the potency of the thoughts after a day of such emotional turmoil. It scares her, that pull in her gut tugging her upwards, and the thought of going to sleep and potentially dreaming of Heaven again is nearly unbearable.

So, instead, she pours herself a glass of wine and snuggles as deeply into the couch as she can. She piles two throw blankets on top of herself, hoping they might do something about the chill that runs through her. She wishes Lucifer were here for her to cuddle up against.

He’s been wonderful through all of this. For all of the time she’d spent being there for him while his dad had been here and while he sorted out his feelings, she hadn’t imagined that he would be doing the same for her mere weeks later. A year ago, she thinks, this likely would have caused him to run away. Her pain had always been something he tended to put squarely on his own shoulders, inevitably causing enough guilt that he would distance himself. He’s done the opposite, though, this week. All he’s done is try to bring her closer to him.

She’s filled with a strong sense of pride in him. She’s certain she would’ve done something regrettable by now were he not with her, and she’s so grateful for him.

Chloe has a sudden thought that she’s happy her father got to meet him. Even though it was only for a moment and they hadn’t really spoken, she’s glad that he was there to witness just how strong their love is. She wants to tell her dad all about him.

Why didn’t I tell him? she wonders, thinking back to the hours she spent by the lake with him. She thinks she wanted to, somewhere deep down, but she just couldn’t reach it. It was as if it had been buried underneath layer after layer of thick fabric, visible by the impression formed on the top of the pile but ultimately unreachable.

When the front door opens, Chloe startles out of her thoughts. She looks up and sees Lucifer walk in quietly. She takes in his appearance – he looks good. Clean, tidy suit. Styled hair, even if it’s a little wind-swept. No blood. No signs of conflict. She breathes a sigh of relief.

Shrugging the blankets off haphazardly, she sets her glass on the table in front of her and stands to meet him in the foyer. His face lights up at the sight of her, and she wastes no time in greeting him with a kiss and embrace.

When they pull apart, he glances up at the clock on the wall. “What are you still doing up, darling?” he asks, swiping a thumb under her tired eyes.

“I missed you,” she tells him, not answering his question. “How did it go? Are you okay?”

They move together towards the living room where Chloe reclaims her spot amongst the cushions and blankets, Lucifer pressing himself close to her side. He relays to her that Michael is being held securely and that parties had been assigned to making cases for and against him. He has hundreds of siblings, many of whom were not a part of the battle, and he’s confident that the trial will be fair and just.

“I won’t allow them to let him off easy, Detective.” His eyes are serious, dark brown with the faintest flickers of red bleeding through in the low light. “I may not think he should be wiped from existence, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve to face consequences. The decision will ultimately come back to me, in the end. His sentence will be just.”

“I know it will,” she tells him with every ounce of confidence she can muster. “What was it like for you? Being back?”

He sighs but doesn’t look away. “It was… tolerable. More so than I might’ve thought. But I’m so glad to be home. I missed you too, my love,” he says quietly, and Chloe feels her stomach flip pleasantly. He places a kiss on her temple as his arm comes around her shoulders. “Why aren’t you in bed?” he asks again.

“Can’t sleep,” she mutters vaguely.

He shoots her a small grin. “Well, maybe I can help. I know how you love your personal devil heater,” he murmurs into her ear. She chuckles half-heartedly but tugs him back when he moves to stand.

“I’m not… I don’t want to sleep.” At his lifted brow, she huffs and elaborates. “Every time I do, I just end up back there and it makes the pull so much stronger. It makes everything hurt so much worse. Makes the thoughts louder.”

Lucifer rubs a broad hand up and down her back soothingly. “I used some of my time away to do some… research into the effects of Heaven on living souls. I have some ideas on the matter now,” he tells her somewhat hesitantly. Then, he smiles at her. “Care for a midnight drive, Detective?”

Chloe doesn’t ask where they’re going. She doesn’t care much, happy that the cool night air is keeping her from falling asleep in the passenger seat of his car. It hadn’t taken much to convince her, either. Linda was with Trixie, after all.

When they pull up to LUX, she glances over at Lucifer. He merely smiles at her, and when they both exit the vehicle he takes her hand and pulls her through the crowded club towards the elevators. “I’ve called someone to meet us in the penthouse,” he explains as they step in.

When the elevator doors open to the low lights of the penthouse, Chloe immediately notices the petite brunette sitting elegantly on Lucifer’s tan leather couch. She wasn’t sure who she’d expected, but it certainly wasn’t her. “Eve?”

“Hi, Detective,” she says in her shy, quiet way. “Hey, Luce,” she adds, smiling.

“Hello, my dear,” he greets her amiably before heading for the bar. “Drinks all ‘round? I have a feeling we may need it for this conversation.” He chuckles as he starts arranging glasses.

“What, um,” Chloe starts, moving slowly towards where Eve sits. “What conversation would that be?”

Lucifer glances over his shoulder at her while he pours. “I called Eve because she’s the only other human I or any of my siblings are aware of who has died, gone to Heaven, and returned. The one person who has been through what you have, Chloe.”

Through all of this, Chloe hadn’t even thought of Eve. It’s true that she came back from Heaven, but their situations just seem so different. Chloe’s never seen Eve struggling with wanting to go back. If anything, Eve always seemed to hate the place.

Eve beckons her over, lightly patting the spot next to her on the couch. “Lucifer told me a bit about what you’re going through. I’m so sorry, Chloe. And I’m so glad you’re okay. What Michael did, that day at the stadium… well, it was just awful. We were all so worried.”

Chloe sits next to her but turns to watch Lucifer. He’s stiff and unmoving, as she predicted he would be when the woman had brought up the topic of Michael’s actions. Chloe herself finds that she needs to take a deep breath to avoid getting sucked into yet another vision of Heaven. She smiles lightly at Eve and holds up a hand to stop her from elaborating further.

“Thank you, Eve. And thank you for being there that day. For fighting alongside us. We’re grateful,” Chloe tells her genuinely. They’ve not always been on the same page, but they’ve also both grown since then.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Eve says, accepting the glass that Lucifer passes to her when he reaches them. Chloe, too, accepts a glass from him, grateful when he takes a moment to squeeze her shoulder comfortingly before he moves to take a seat in the chair across from them.

After taking a sip from her drink, Eve glances over to Lucifer once before turning her attention back to Chloe. She looks nervous, and Chloe isn’t sure whether it’s a result of the conversation they’re about to have or something else entirely.

“Look, Chloe, I know our situations aren’t exactly the same. My death wasn’t… violent. I died naturally, and besides my adult children, I didn’t have a long list of loved ones that I left behind. It was my time, and it was peaceful.” Fiddling with her long skirt, Eve glances away. “I was also in Heaven for… well, I’m not sure exactly how long. Hundreds of lifetimes, no doubt,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“You left,” Chloe says quietly. She has a hard time imagining it.

“Mmhm,” Eve nods, eyes wide. “I know that feeling, when you first get there. The overwhelming peace. The quiet. The reunions with all the loved ones you’ve lost who also ended up in Heaven. When Adam joined me, we were happier than we’d ever been on Earth. All of our arguments and fights were forgotten. The resentment I felt about being made for him was gone. It was lovely,” she admits quietly.

Chloe’s eyes glaze over slightly as she listens, the vivid description hitting her hard. That’s exactly how it had felt. The peace, the sudden lack of worry or conflict.

Eve places a hand on her knee then, effectively snapping her out of her wandering thoughts. “But I think you also know that it’s not quite perfect. You know, that strange feeling of not being able to remember any of the parts of your life that you’d be sad to leave. That constant niggling at the very back of your mind telling you that something’s not quite right, that something’s missing.” Her hand squeezes gently. “It might have been bearable for the short time you were there, Chloe, but it never leaves. It gets worse.”

“Worse?” Chloe prompts, flashing back to earlier when she’d been wishing she’d told her dad about Lucifer. Trixie, too.

“Oh, yeah,” Eve says gravely, taking another sip of her drink. “It’s not… it doesn’t erase your memories, you know? It just stops you from being upset about them. I was happy with Adam because I couldn’t remember why it bothered me so much that I was made for him, or why I was hurt by his infatuation with Lilith. They were just, facts. The longer it went on, though, the more restless I got. I was always agitated. I knew something was missing.

“The longer I was there, the easier it was for me to really think about what was missing. I craved excitement. Joy. Not just that, though. Risk, even danger. I wasn’t content because there was no variety.” When she stops, Eve seems to shake herself slightly. Perhaps Chloe wasn’t the only one getting sucked into memories.

Her description of her experience in Heaven lines up with what Chloe knew about her initial return. The partying, the drugs, the spontaneous interest in crime solving and goading Lucifer into serving out punishments. She’d wanted to feel.

“I get that, Eve. I do,” Chloe says. “We’re not the same, though. I’m not like you. I like routine. Monotony, dead end leads, scheduled work and hobbies. That’s what I’m best at.”

Eve furrows her brows, smiling at her in a way that makes Chloe feel like the woman could see straight through to her soul. “I know we were never very close, and I would love to change that by the way,” she says quickly, and it seems truthful. “But I think I know who you are by now. Watching Lucifer work with you… you love the ups and downs of your job. The unpredictability. The brand new mysteries that come with every case.” Eve glances over at Lucifer, where he is leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs. “And working with Lucifer only heightened that.”

Chloe starts to respond, but Lucifer takes the opportunity to jump in. “Not to mention the fact that you made the decision to be a star in that wonderful movie,” he says, shooting her a wide grin. Chloe rolls her eyes as he says, “You’ve got some rebel in you, darling.”

Eve smiles at the two of them before refocusing on Chloe. “When there’s nothing to fear, nothing to lose, nothing to take a chance on, it takes the… the relief out of nervous moments. It takes the pride out of accomplishments. It takes the sweetness out of sugar.” She sets her empty glass on the table to her side, and swivels to fully face Chloe. “If I’m really honest, I think it even takes some of the joy out of love. I think… I think that’s why I knew Luce was who I wanted to come be with. We both know he’s practically the poster boy for balancing pain and pleasure,” she says airily, eyeing the man without turning her head. Lucifer huffs and rolls his eyes but doesn’t disagree.

Chloe drains the rest of her glass, sinking back into the couch more fully as she mulls over what Eve had said. She was right – Chloe knew what she meant about that feeling, that sensation that something was missing. There was even that moment, when Lucifer reminded her of the war and of Trixie, when she, too, had wanted desperately to leave. Not just because she wanted to be with her loved ones on Earth, but because she didn’t want to be in this place that stripped away all the details of those relationship.

“You can’t love without the risk of loss,” she whispers to no one in particular, tears in her eyes. She looks across to where Lucifer sits, and he gives her that little genuine smile he does when he’s proud of her.

Her own smile falls, however, when she hears the now familiar sound of angel wings flapping. Adrenaline spiking at the thought of one of Lucifer’s siblings making an appearance, Chloe stands, right hand instinctually drifting towards her non-existent holster.

Her breath comes quickly as she stares down the newcomer. The large, tan coloured wings look dull in the dim light, but they quickly vanish from sight as a man in long robes steps gracefully into the room from the balcony. He’s tall and the warm tones of his skin and hair are enhanced by the addition of gold jewelry and sandals. Chloe can’t help but stare.

Lucifer is pressed up against her side immediately, his hand squeezing her shoulder comfortingly once more. She recognizes it as his way of saying trust me in this moment, and she relaxes marginally.

“Chloe, this is Raphael, the Angel of Healing,” Lucifer says, moving his hand to rest on her lower back now. “Thank you for coming, brother.”

The angel nods respectfully but says nothing.

“Have you found anything in your search for information on resurrections?” Lucifer asks, skipping any further small talk.

“Regretfully, this occurrence has not happened often enough for any of my sources to know much about it.” Raphael’s voice, while not loud, seems to reverberate across the room in a way that feels otherworldly. “The method used in this case, divine immortality stored in an Earthly object, is almost certainly a singular event. The experiences of the few resurrected humans we are aware of over the last few centuries are diverse and any patterns I’ve attempted to uncover between them have been weak.”

Lucifer sighs next to her. “Right. Well, thank you for your efforts, brother.”

Raphael does not acknowledge his brother, instead taking a step closer. “If you would allow me, Ms. Decker, I can offer my services to you.” It’s cryptic, and he must see the confusion on her face. “I can… soften your memories of your time in the celestial plane. My healing abilities are not limited to physical ailments.”

Chloe takes a step backwards. “You can change my memories?”

Raphael holds his hands up placatingly. “You would continue to live with the knowledge of all that has happened. That you died, that you saw your father, even that Lucifer sacrificed himself. However, your memories of that time would be hazy and distant. No longer potent enough for you to compare to your existence here on Earth.”

“Your dreams would likely stop, Detective. Or they would at least be less distressing,” Lucifer says beside her. She tilts her head up to look at him, searching his eyes for answers. He wants her to do this?

Chloe lets out the breath she feels as though she’s been holding in. She turns her attention to Eve, unmoved from her spot on the couch. The two women share a glance, and Chloe sees the worried eyes and slight frown Eve is wearing.

“No,” Chloe says quietly.

Lucifer’s hand squeezes her hip. “No?”

She shakes her head and repeats herself, more strongly this time. “No. As tempting as it is, it’s exactly what Heaven does to human souls. Maybe… I think I need these memories. With all the emotions that come with them. The pain. It’s a reminder that I’m alive. Stripping it all away would be so easy, and it would probably make me feel so much better for a while.”

Everyone in the room is silent. Chloe turns to Eve once more. “But I’d always know that something was missing.”

Dark grey Prada blocks her view of Eve as Lucifer moves to stand in front of her. He takes both of her shoulders in his hands and ducks so that his eyes are level with hers. “Are you sure, love? I can’t bear to see you suffering like this,” he whispers.

She smiles, pressing her lips together in an attempt to control her emotion. “I’m sure. It would be giving in to the pull from Heaven, just in a different way. And it would never stop. If I have Raphael soften my memories of Heaven, what’s to stop me from asking him to soften my memories of you sobbing over me as I died? Or the memories of Dan dying? What about when I found out my dad died, or holding Trixie as she cried herself to sleep?” She shrugs, placing a hand over his heart. “What about the night I betrayed you? There will always be more pain to strip away, Lucifer. There will always be reminders of what I’ve lost.”

Her voice is strained now, and a tear falls down her cheek, but her mind feels clearer than it has all week. “I know that all of those things are what make my love for you so strong. I don’t want to forget that. I don’t want to forget you,” she whispers, then leans forwards to kiss him softly.

They fall into a tight embrace then, Chloe’s face buried in his neck as he presses kisses to her hair. “I love you so much, Chloe. Please stay,” he murmurs and she knows what he’s saying. Stay with me. Here. Now.

“I’m here,” she says, sniffling. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

When they finally part, Chloe looks back towards where Raphael is still standing several feet away. “Thank you, for the offer, Raphael. I really do appreciate it. It just doesn’t feel right.”

“Understood, Ms. Decker. I very much look forward to getting to know you better,” he says and Chloe notices that he’s smiling for the first time since arriving. “Welcome to the family.” Chloe almost thinks she catches him wink at her before he turns, robes swishing dramatically, and takes off into the night.

Eve stands from the couch, clearly intending to take her own leave. Chloe only hesitates for a moment before moving forward and hugging her tightly. “Thank you,” she tells her as she pulls back. “I want us to be closer too.”

Eve smiles brightly, giggling. “You should come help me and Maze move into our new place! We can do a proper housewarming. Or just drink mimosas and complain about the latest celestial drama,” she says, eyes practically shimmering in her excitement.

Her enthusiasm is contagious, and Chloe can’t help but smile back. “Sounds great.”

Lucifer guffaws loudly as he gathers all of the empty glasses off of his coffee table with the intent of bringing them back to the bar. “Just what I need. The three most fearsome women in my life gathering and plotting against me. Can’t you go back to fighting over me? Love me a jealous detective,” he says, leering.

“One, we never fought over you. Don’t give yourself so much credit. And two, you really aren’t the one to talk about jealousy, babe,” Chloe tells him with a smirk, watching as he sets the glasses down and moves towards them.

“She’s got you there, Luce,” Eve says, laughing.

He sighs dramatically before sidling up next to her and slinging an arm around her shoulders. “This is what I’m in for, then? Not the kind of double-teaming I was hoping for.”

Chloe pats his chest a couple times fondly as they follow Eve towards the elevators. She turns around after hitting the call button, looking between them.

“I know that I did a lot to put distance between the two of you when I first came back from Heaven, but I want you to know – I’m so happy for you. Both of you.”

“Thank you,” Lucifer says, glancing down at Chloe. “Go on, now. Before Maze tries to skin me alive for keeping you away for too long.” Eve laughs freely as she steps into the elevator and waves her goodbyes as the doors close.

They’re left in the soft glow of the penthouse then, their easy breaths the only sound. Chloe can’t help but close her eyes for a moment as she leans against him. “Come, sit,” he murmurs into her ear before leading her back to the couch.

“I know we talked about how unfair the system is, and how Hell needs restructuring,” Chloe begins as they sit next to each other. “But I’m starting to think Heaven might need some of that too.”

Lucifer hums, lifting his suddenly refilled glass to his lips. “Perhaps you’re right. Between you and Eve, I’d say we’ve got a good chance at making some meaningful improvements to the retched place,” he grumbles. “That’s a project for another day, though, I think. Why are you so far away, darling?” he asks before grabbing her around the waist and sliding her closer.

When they’re comfortable, she can’t help but think about the last week and the distance that has existed between them. “I’m so sorry, Lucifer,” she finds herself saying.

“Whatever for?” is his confused response.

She looks down at their clasped hands. “I hope… I hope you know how grateful I am. You died. You sacrificed yourself to bring me back, and I…” Her words get caught in her throat.

His fingers under her chin bring her eyes up to his. “You’ve nothing to apologize for. Nothing. Do you hear me, Chloe?” he asks urgently.

“But you went through so much too and all I’ve done for the last week is – “

“Cope,” he interrupts. “All you’ve done is try to cope in any way you could with something no human is ever meant to experience.”

“Still,” she says, unconvinced. “I’m supposed to be getting better at handling this stuff.”

Lucifer sighs, thinking for a moment. He raises a hand to her cheek, brushing her loose hair back over her ear. “Partners. That’s what we are, yes?”

She blinks at him. “Always.”

“Partners take care of each other. Watch each other’s backs. Take turns. That’s what we decided.”

“Yes,” she whispers.

He smiles at her. “Then please don’t apologize for letting me take a turn, love.” He leans in, kissing her so softly, so gently, that Chloe can’t help but melt into him. She leans her weight onto him, allowing herself to feel the strength of his body against hers. “You’ve got to let me do some of the emotional heavy lifting every now and then, Detective” he says with a deep chuckle.

Chloe struggles to keep her eyes open as she fully relaxes against him. “I’ll try,” she murmurs.

And she will. She knows that tonight won’t have magically fixed everything. There will still be grief and sorrow and despair to deal with tomorrow. She will have to continue supporting her daughter through some of the worst pain imaginable. She will have to come to terms with her own death. But she knows, now, that she’s right where she wants to be. Lucifer, with all of his love and faith and devotion, will be right beside her the whole time.

“Bedtime, I think,” she hears him say after some time. She can’t bring herself to move, though, exhaustion making her limbs feel like dead weights. “Up you come,” he murmurs and then she’s being lifted off the couch.

She snuggles into his sheets when he lays her gently on the large bed, but sighs “Trixie,” when she remembers that they weren’t supposed to be staying at the penthouse tonight.

“I’ve texted Linda. We’ll head back first thing tomorrow,” Lucifer tells her as he joins her, pulling the covers up over the both of them. “Sleep, darling,” he says, little more than a whisper, and wraps himself around her.

“Love you so much,” she mumbles as sleep tugs her under.

Predictably, he smiles. “As I love you. Always.”