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Gordon didn’t want to think about favouritism--someone once called him the saviour of humanity once, which was weird--he wanted to trust the people around him to treat themselves as well as him. With that in mind, he allowed himself the luxury of a lone shower, cleanliness and privacy.
Privacy for only a little while, though, for he was interrupted by a knock on the door, one that turned welcome when he heard a familiar voice say “Gordon?” over the running water. Barney Calhoun. Their relationship was bound to snowball into something big almost from the moment they met. Something a little more than friends and coworkers to now--where Gordon couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else by his side, and not for lack of trying. The man continued hesitantly, “Can I--can I join you?” Gordon felt something loosen in his chest and he reached an arm out of the shower and knocked twice on the door, without thinking. An old code, he didn’t need to use his voice, once for no, twice for yes. Simple little secret code. He could remember being sprawled under him, from too many drinks and stumbling or both being young and tussling for the joy of it, whatever, just tapping his arm to have the big bastard release him. He still did it without thinking, not even knowing if Barney remembered it was a thing between them.
He heard footsteps and the door closed. He remembered. There was a long pause of only the shower water hitting the tiles by his feet and he was tempted to stick his hands out the curtain to ask but--"Erm, it's okay for me to join you join you, right?" Gordon smiles wide and knocks on the wall this time.
He hears the shuffle of hastily shed clothing as soon as the 2nd knock sounds. A hand grips the flimsy curtain from the other side--visual straight out of a horror movie--and the other man slid into his space, trapping him in about half the shower space, and what a delight it was to be trapped and finally looking at his Barney. Really looking. The circumstances weren't important, he reach up and and cup his face without thinking, thumb just touching the scar on his cheek. The man simply leaned into it, eyes half lidded and relaxed. Gordon had to push away the mourning for the differences he spotted, the now healed wounds, the lack of fat on him that should be there, time he missed. It ripped right through him like a burn, a hot knife. He pushed it aside, instead letting the typical emotions stir in his chest, the word handsome floating around his mind the desire to pay tribute to him with kisses right on his face, but his eyes were still taking him in, and vice versa for Barney.
Nothing was exchanged but understanding, the next moment, when Barney took initiative and shuffled nearer, arms coming up to basically scoop him close in an embrace, two big hands across his shoulders. And Gordon wrap his arms around him in exchange, squeezing him closer. The water was almost warm, and they were warm together, drowned in the white noise of the spray falling on them. Gordon leaning against Barney. Barney leaning against Gordon. Each other's foundation, strong.
Gordon was near ready to fall asleep right there, resting his head against Barney’s as the other man pressed his cheek into his shoulder. He didn't, though, needing to enjoy it awake. It didn't matter how long it lasted. When they were ready, they parted, hands lingering on arms and sides lightly, one atmosphere shifting into another one. Barney reached for the rusty shower shelf and picked up the sharp-smelling soap, turning back to him.
"Let me?" He said, just as loud as necessary, "Please?" And Gordon felt the need to hug him again, the man asking politely to care for him, instead he nodded, bowing his head. His fingers dragged down Barney’s hips lightly, reveling in his bare skin, reveling in all of him. He closed his eyes as the other man started to work his sudsy fingers through his now-cropped hair and the smell overpowered him slightly.
He didn’t care, it didn’t matter, anything outside this moment couldn’t phase him. He needed this, and every breath they were close, despite everything, was another breath he felt like he knew they would take, content, in the future.