Work Text:
In the living room of the Uehara household, Himari was simply lounging on the couch, with a book in hand. Himari could only sigh in relief.
Himari: (blissfully) Ah! An afternoon alone with my favorite book! “Broadway Musicals of the 1940s”! No Moca to bother me! How could it get any better than this?
As much as Moca was a dear friend to Himari, there is only so much teasing and prodding that the emotional bassist could take. Especially by Moca claiming that Himari was gay. Himari will have you know that if Tomoe or Kaoru were guys, she’d date them in a heartbeat.
And as if saying her name summoned her, Moca opened the door with her signature slow and soft “Yoo-hoo~”, much to the thinly-veiled irritation of the pinkette.
Himari: (irritated) Hi, Moca....
Moca: (speaking oddly quickly) Hey, Hii-chan~! You’ll never guess what happened to me at work today~! Lisa-chan was smiling at me and talking to me~-
Himari: (confused) How is that any different from every other work day?
Moca: (slightly blushing) Well, Lisa-chan was bein’ reeeall friendly to me, and I think she might’ve been coming on to me~! Lisa might have thought that I, Moca Aoba, was gay~!
Well, that was old news to Himari. After all, the one thing Moca likes eating more than bread, is Ran.
Himari: (snidely) So, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don’t care! What’d you have for lunch today?!
Moca instantly stiffed up at the normally easy-going Himari’s tone changing, as she put her hands up in surrender.
Moca: (slightly afraid) Well, Moca-chan had her usual bread. But why the sudden defensive mo-
Himari: (screaming angrily) I’M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!
Realising that her loud and scary tone is scaring the normally relaxed Moca, Himari quickly slumped down to compose herself, before switching to a calm (if exasperated) tone.
Himari: (exasperated) Why should I care about whether Lisa-san is gay or not? I’m trying to read!
Realizing the cause of Himari’s irritation with the topic, Moca internally smirked, as she formulated her devious plot: get Himari to admit that she’s gay!
Moca: (with a teasy tone) Well, Moca-chan didn’t meaaan anything by it...but she thinks it’s something we should be able to talk about...
Realizing exactly where Moca was going with this, Himari turned away, and tried to bury her face in the book.
Himari: (embarrassed) Well, I don’t wanna talk about it, Moca-chan! This conversation is OVER!
Moca tried to convince Himari a second time, but was quickly cut off by another “OVER!” from the bassist.
Moca: (slowly smiling) Well, okay~! But just so you know...
What Himari didn’t expect, was for music to come out of nowhere and Moca to start singing along to it, in her soft and smooth voice, all while wrapping her comfy arms around Himari.
Moca: (singing, while hugging Himari) If you were gay, that’d be okay! Well, because, hey! I’d love you anyway!
When Moca finished the verse, Himari quickly slid out of the sleepyhead’s arms and quickly went to another area of the couch, which didn’t seem to dissuade Moca at all.
Moca: (singing) Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say, that I was gay!
Moca: (sassily wagging her finger) But I’m not gay!
Okay, now Moca was lying about two things: that Himari was gay (she’d be attracted to Tomoe and Kaoru, if they were guys), and that Moca was not gay.
Himari: (slowly and punctuated) Moca. I’m. Trying. To. Read!
Himari quickly turned away from the bread-lover and attempted to read in piece, which was a bit hard to do, with said bread-lover’s big blue eyes staring intently at her, and her hands later tousling her pink hair. Eventually, Himari snapped at Moca, and shouted out one single word.
Himari: (angry, to Moca) WHAT?!
Moca: (still singing) If you were queer!
Himari: (embarrassed) Moca-chaaan!
Moca: (holding Himari’s hand) I’ll still be here!
Himari: (brandishing the book at Moca) Moca! I’m trying to read this book!
Moca: (hugging Himari) Year after year, because you’re dear to me!
Himari could only let out embarrassed and adorable grumbles in response to Moca’s blatant ignoring of her humiliated pleads.
Moca: (singing) And I know that you, would accept me tooo~!
Himari: (confused) I would?
Moca: (singing) If Moca told you today, “Hey! Guess what! She’s gay!”! But I’m not gay~!
Upon hearing Moca’s blatant lies, Himari growls angrily and loosens herself from Moca’s hug, before stomping across the room in anger and humiliation, with her book in tow.
Moca: (slowly walking towards her) I’m happy~, just being with you~!
Himari desperately tried to block out Moca’s singing, by loudly listing some Broadway musicals from the 1940s, namely “High Button Shoes” and “Pal Joey”.
Moca: (smirking) So what does it matter to me...
With a sneaky smirk on her face, Moca pulled out a particularly salacious yuri manga, from under the couch, that Himari thought she kept hidden, much to the bassist’s blushy mortification.
Moca: (shoving the manga into Himari’s face) What you do in bed with gals~!
With a face that became 39 different shades of red, Himari quickly dropped her book and snatched the manga from Moca’s grubby hands, before tossing it away in a random direction and awkwardly shuffling away.
Himari: (angry, with her voice cracking) MOCA-CHAN! THAT’S GROoOoOoSS!
Moca: (smiling) No, it’s not! If you were gay~...
Himari: (angrily, still shuffling away) Grrr...
Moca: (removing her jacket and twirling it around on the “Hooray!”) I’d shout “Hooray!”!
The sight of a jacketless Moca and the sight of Moca’s thin frame (despite her habits), caused Himari’s face to blush even harder, as she turned away from the breadlover and covered her ears, to both block out Moca’s singing and not have Moca catch her blushing.
Himari: (covering her ears) I’m not listening!
Moca: (slowly putting her jacket back on) And here I’d stay~...
Himari: (trying to block out Moca) LALALALALALALA!
Moca: (with her jacket fully on) But I wouldn’t get in your way!
Himari: (angry, in denial) NOT GAY!
Going around in circles, Himari ended up in front of the couch, getting cornered by Moca in the process.
Moca: (singing) You can count on me~ to always be~ beside you everyday, to tell you it’s okay! You were just born that way, and as they say, it’s in your DNA! You’re gay!
With every rhyme, Moca got closer and closer to Himari, with the final verse being accompanied by Moca booping Himari’s nose.
Himari: (blushing hard) Moca-chan! I’m NOT gay!
Moca: (sticking her tongue out) If you WERE gay~!
Himari, with an irritated and embarrassed screech, dived face-first into the couch, and buried her face into one of the couch’s pillows, with nothing managing to erase the smug and condescending smirk on the breadaholic’s face.