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“Hold still Pyro!”
The doctor said to the Pyro. Engineer, Medic, and Demoman were all in Medic’s Medical room, with Pyro hooked up to what looked like a million wires hooked up to their head, or rather, their mask, as even after much bribing to get Pyro on board with the experiment, they still couldn’t get them to take off their mask.
Pyro was fidgeting a lot, eager to get back to the show they were watching before the three scooped them up. They frustratedly murmured something to Medic.
“Augh, Pyro, I swear we’re almost done, I just have to get these last results…”
Medic studied the lines on the screen as if trying to translate them to understandable English.
Engineer was doing the final touches on a machine that reminded the three of a mixture of Pyro’s own mask fused with scuba gear.
In the corner of the room, Demo was sleeping on the floor, blackout drunk.
Engineer finished his work, then saw the sleeping Demo and shook his head in disappointment. He walked over to him and shook him awake.
“Rise and shine Demo!”
Demo jolted awake, looking around his surroundings like he didn’t know how he had got there.
“Huh? Wh-wh- oh yeah. The Pyro thing. I forgot”
He drunkenly stood up and wobbled over to the chemicals he had brought with him on the table.
“You sure you should be doing this drunk? We don’t wanna blow up Medic's lab again” Engie calmly asked. It had taken a whole month to get the place rebuilt after Demo accidentally made a bomb while trying to make laughing gas for Medic.
“Nobody was laughing after that incident”
“Boooooooooo” jokingly said Demo.
“Though seriously that sounds like a bad idea”
“Eh, it’ll be fine lad. I still know what I’m doing”
“If you say so”
Engineer turned to the Medic. “So you figure out what this whole thing could be yet?”
“Well, in my professional opinion, Pyro seems to have an extremely rare brain disorder zhat causes this so-called “Pyro vision”. So unknown in fact, it doesn’t even have a name!” The doctor said, shaking around his Medical book.
“Mighty interesting doc, but why do you want us to build this machine again?”
“Well, multiple reasons: firstly, By simulating the condition I could try and create Medication to help treat zhis disorder. More importantly, however-“Medic flashed an evil grin. “It could also be used as an interrogation device to make people so they get so loopy they unknowingly spill everything” he explained, rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain.
“Well then.”
Demo ignored the doctor and presented two freshly mixed chemicals in vials to Engie.
“Aye, these oughta do the job”
“Thanks, Demo.” Engie said before kissing Demo on the cheek, causing him to blush.
Engineer poured the chemicals into the proper compartment then closed it.
“That should do it.”
Engie looked over to Pyro. “Alright son, you can go now”
Pyro clapped their hands and quickly ripped all of the wires off of them before running off.
“Guess I’ll have to invest in new wires egh”
The doctor grumbled before walking over to the machine.
“So, who wants to go first?”
The two blankly stared at Medic.
“Go first??! Ya just said this was supposed to be an interrogation device lad.” Demo questioned, rightfully so.
“Well, we have to know if it works first! Besides, if this was set up like I asked to be, it should be a perfectly harmless happy little ride.” Medic said, making a heart with his hands.
They stood there for a moment in complete silence.
Deciding to be polite, Engie broke the silence.
“I suppose I can do it”
“Wunderbar! Now, put on the machine” he instructed as though the engineer was a 5 year old.
He sighed and did as he was told, strapping on the mask and oxygen tanks.
He closed his eyes, flipped on the switch, and let the chemicals seep into his air.
Once He opened his eyes, the lab looked like a completely different place. The normally absolutely disgusting floor that was covered in blood and other fluids looked like it was covered in pristine marble.
Demoman and Medic looked almost like little children, somehow extremely short with tiny angel wings.
What Engie assumed to be Medic’s surgical tools seemed to him like bubble wands and pieces of candy.
If this is what Pyro sees, I’m surprised they don’t eat more of their weaponry
He thought to himself.
Then, the little Medic began talking to him.
“What’s it like in there, Dell?”
It took a moment for Engie to respond, especially since he was still taking in the new scenery.
“It’s uh, I don’t know if magnificent is the word but it surely is”
“Zhats a strange way to phrase zhat. Mind saying what ya see?”
“Well, everything looks like a 5 year old’s fairytale. Hell, your tools look like they’re made of candy.”
“Candy?” Medic repeated, picking up his bone saw and studying it as though trying to check if it was actually candy.
“Yeah candy. You two actually look like babies, I have no idea how that works but y’all do.”
“Very interesting.”
“You having a good time breathing in there, lad? Chemicals I used uh, let’s just say most of them are illegal in every country” Demo chuckled.
“Yeah, breathing’s steady, it’s getting a bit heavy though”
“Take it off lad! Better safe than sorry with this shitte”
Engineer did as instructed, and as his lungs were filled with clean air again, the surroundings slowly faded back to normal.
“So, what was it like?”
“Honestly, it was pretty nice. Made me feel a bit loopy though”
“Hmmm...might have to give up plans of using it as an interrogation device until we see further effects. You mind putting it back on for the rest of the day, Dell?”
Demo got between Dell and the machine and made an x with his arms and hands.
“Naw lad, these chemicals could be extremely dangerous. We have no idea what long term exposure to them could do to ya noggin”
“That’s what testing Is for!”
“Maybe on rats but not your fuckin boyfriend lad”
Medic stopped for a moment and had a conflicted look on his face. Demo was right, but he was extremely excited about using it to interrogate. He shook his head in defeat.
“I guess you’re right, Tavish. We can pause testing until I manage to wrangle up some… other test subjects.”
An evil smile flashed on his face once again.
“Alright, just not on any of the team”
“Aw dammit”
Whilst the two were talking, engineer was thinking.
He had a slight craving to go back to the luscious, fake world. Something in those chemicals had made him feel truly happy for the first time in a long, long time.
He didn’t want to upset Demo though, so he stayed perfectly quiet.
Eventually, the two noticed his silence.
“Ya doin alright lad? You’ve been awfully quiet”
Engie snapped out of his thoughts for a moment from Demo’s question.
“Oh, yeah I’m fine. Just thinking thoughts”
“Uh-huh. Well, I got shit to do lads-“
Demo grabbed the two in a hug and kissed them both.
“See ya lads later!”
“I have things I need to do as well, so I’ll see you later Engie!”
“Yeah yeah….”
Engie walked off to his workshop, lost in thought.
————-
Engineer was supposed to be fixing up one of his newer machines, but all he could do was reminisce about the experience.
It didn’t make sense did it? Medic mentioned that it would be a happy little ride, but to be so, so fulfilling for him, it didn’t make sense.
He put down his wrench and got up.
would Medic and Demo care too much if I took another dosage of the machine?
He thought. He shook his head at the thought.
Demo would be pissed, and Medic doesn’t like people invading. Besides, I don’t need to go back that badly.
But he craved the happy little world again. A world where nothing was wrong and everyone was just friends.
But it was all fake and he knew that.
He sat back down and finished up the fixes on the machine.
He checked the clock from across the room. It was 2:30. Medic would be getting lunch right about now.
Engineer got up once again and headed to Medic’s Medical room.
Just as expected, Medic was nowhere to be found, with his doves guarding the place, Archimedes in particular next to the machine.
Normally, Dell wouldn’t be scared of a bunch of birds, but these birds belonged to the Medic. Despite being his loving partner, he had many, many screws loose, and he’s noticed before that his doves often took after him.
He took out the piece of bread that he had stolen from the kitchen and laid it out on the table next to him, causing the doves to swarm the loaf, pecking at the thing trying to get every crumb.
Except for Archimedes, who stayed right where he was. The bird stared at the man, as if knowing what he wanted to do.
“Alright, Archimedes, could you please move…?”
The engineer said before being bitten by him.
“OW-! Now that’s not a nice thing to do.” He remarked, as if the dove was a small child who had just painted on the walls.
He got out his spare loaf of bread and held it in his face, shaking it a bit like a parent with a toy.
“If you let me use the machine, I’ll give you your own bread, allllll to yourself” he bargained.
He stood still, seemingly pondering whether to betray his beloved master for some bread. Engineer was honestly surprised that he even knew what he was saying.
All of a sudden, the bird snatched the bread from his hands and flew over to a shelf to eat.
these doves are weird he thought, but shook the thought away.
He had more important matters to attend to.
He quickly grabbed the machine from its spot and sped walked out of there before Medic could come back.
is this technically stealing? I didn’t ask for permission to have it, and it doesn’t entirely belong to me
He stopped for a moment, feeling incredibly guilty for a second before concluding that since he built it, it’s technically his. He continued to his workshop, and once he got there, he locked the door behind him. He didn’t want anyone to catch him doing this, especially not his partners.
He put on the mask and flipped on the switch, and breathed in the chemicals until his world turned back into the wonderland he remembered.
In this new workshop, his tools looked like bubble wands, much like how Medic’s tools had looked when he had used the machine there.
Most of his machines looked like various toys, ranging from his altered teleporters resembling a trampoline to his various guns looking like some kind of bubble machine.
Engie felt like laughing, even though there was nothing particularly funny about the surroundings.
“Must be the chemicals Demo used” he reasoned with himself.
He noticed his lungs were starting to feel heavy again, and his breathing was becoming short.
He could almost hear Tavish’s warning echo in his head again.
better safe than sorry with this shitte!
The logical part of him knew that he should aheed the chemist’s warning, but his childish side wanted to stay in the wonderland.
“Medic did say he needed more testing, this could just count as that,” he said to himself.
He ultimately decided to keep the chemicals on for Just 5 more minutes, walking around his workshop taking in the beauty.
After a while, he heard a banging at his door, scaring him shitless.
“Shit, how long have I had this stuff on for?”
He checked his clock.
He had the thing on for a full hour.
“Oh no…”
He heard more banging, this time with voices.
“Aye lad, ya in there?? The machine got stolen!”
He heard Tavish say.
Quickly, he flipped the switch off and took off the machine.
As his surroundings very slowly melted, he looked around for a place to hide it. He hastily opened his drawer and shoved the thing in, then ran towards the door, unlocking it.
“Aye, took ye long enough, Dell”
“Sorry Demo, I was uh..”
He searched his brain for an excuse.
“Working on a surprise for you two!”
“A surprise ya say?” Demo curiously said.
“Yeah, ain’t our anniversary coming up soon?”
“Lad, that’s not for another 4 months”
“Uhhh...early surprise?”
Demoman suspiciously looked at him, as if trying to look for body cues to see if he was telling the truth.
He must’ve not found any, as he nodded his head and zipped his lips.
“I won’t tell a soul hehe”
Then he remembered what he was there for.
“Oh ya, someone stole the machine we built”
“Stole?” He said, trying to sound surprised.
“Yeah, Medic came back after his lunch break and poof! It was gone.”
“Well I don’t know anything about it. Uh, maybe try asking the rest of the team if they saw anything?”
“Yea, good idea. Betcha Scout has something to do with it heheh”
“Yeah, yeah. Now, I have to go work on y’all’s surprise!”
He said, slowly shutting the door while Demoman walked off.
He was breathing very heavily, a combination of the chemicals leaving his lungs and the lies he just had to do to his own boyfriend.
He felt extremely guilty. He almost never lied, especially not to his loved ones. They just wanted the best for him, and he took his own pleasures over them. He was about ready to puke, but he kept it in.
“Okay...I think I can do 5 more minutes in the machine”
He muttered to himself, walking over to the drawer to be a bit longer in the wonderland.
———————
Later that day, Medic gathered everyone into the tv room for an emergency meeting. Nobody wanted to be there, especially since today was the last day for ceasefire and everyone just wanted to enjoy it.
Medic suspiciously looked at each mercenary there.
“Alright you all. I have gathered you all here today because one of you all-“ he pointed his finger and drifted it on each of their heads.
“Have STOLEN one of our machines. Now, who did it? Be honest or I’ll be doing early checkups on you all.”
Soldier raised his hand.
“What is it soldier?”
“WHAT IF THE BLU MAGGOTS STOLE YOUR DOO HIKEY?! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE DID IT?!”
The group murmured their agreements, while Engineer was trying to not make direct eye contact with anyone, as if by seeing straight into his eyes they would see his lies.
“Well, for one: only drei people even knew of its existence, not counting zhee Pyro. For two, ceasefire ends tommorow, zhey have more problems at hand zhen to deal with our experimentations”
They all looked at each other, trying to figure out who could’ve done it. They eventually all stared at spy.
“Why in gods name are you all staring at me? Why would I care what the doctuer makes?!” He remarked defensively.
“Well, you loiter in all of our rooms, and you’ve been known to steal our freakin’ shit. I’m
still looking for my journal, spy!” Scout accused.
“Mon dieu, I was in my room all day, you absolute idiots. Heavy can vouch for me”
“Well that puts us at back at square one.” Sighed Demoman
They all murmered to each other their suspicions until they noticed that Engie was eating his wrench.
“Hey pal, pretty sure there’s better ways to get iron in your diet” Scout quipped.
Engineer snapped out of his daze and realized what he was doing, proceeding to spit out the wrench.
“Oh sorry uh, I was cleaning my wrench”
“With your freakin’ mouth??”
“Uhhhh...yes”
“Ew”
Engineer looked away in embarrassment. He blinked a bit, trying to get the bits of the wonderland out of his vision, at least for the time being.
Then he realized that Demo and Medic were staring at him, concern visible in their eyes.
Engineer quickly got up and began to walk off.
“Uh, sorry guys but uh, I gotta go fix up one of my machines! See you all later!”
He hurriedly walked off to his workshop, leaving everyone confused and concerned.
——————-
He opened the door to his workshop, and locked the door behind him.
I can’t keep lying to them all, can I?
He thought to himself. He wanted to cry with how guilty he felt.
He took a deep breath, and walked over to his chair and took out the machine and put it on his head.
Which was then promptly taken off by someone.
“je le savais!”
Spy was holding the machine in his hand. He had an angry look on his face as he put away his cloak watch.
“I should’ve figured you stole it, you were eating your wrench for gods sake, no person who isn’t high on whatever chemicals would do that. “
“Wait, how do you know about this??”
“I was watching you all making it, you idiot.”
“Augh. Ok, you got me, now could you give it back-“
He said, reaching for the machine, to which spy pulled away with it.
“Nonono, I’m going to be taking this back to the doctuer and the cyclops posthaste. The last thing this wretched team needs is an addict egh.”
Engineer stood up and tried to grab the machine out of his hands.
“Now spy, just give me a couple more minutes and I’ll give it back to them”
Spy was slowly backing up away from the engineer.
“I said, I am going to be giving this back to the two, laborer”
“And I SAID TO GIVE IT BACK” Engie suddenly screamed as he grabbed his wrench and smashed it in Spy’s face, knocking him out as he fell onto the floor. He started to sputter blood and stared at the engineer in horror, as he stared back in utter fear.
His head fell back onto the floor as he bled out.
“Oh no…”
He checked his pulse. It was gone.
“Nononono this can’t be happening….”
He heard someone banging at the door.
“Oh no.”
Thinking quickly, he grabbed the watch from spy’s pocket and turned on the invisibility for the dead man.
He then put away the machine in the drawer before running to open the door to reveal a concerned Medic standing.
“Why hey there Ludwig, how’s life treating you?”
“It’s treating me very well, thank you Dell. Have you seen spy anywhere around here? He cloaked when you left and we haven’t found him yet.”
The engineer was starting to panic.
“Uh, no, no! Of course not! You know spy though, he’s probably out uh, smoking cigarettes and fucking women!”
“Zhat’s not very helpful but thank you anyways”
Medic gave him a kiss then left.
He closed the door and looked at the corpse that was flickering back into sight.
“Oh spy, what have I done?”
He muttered to himself. He turned back on the invisibility, this time letting himself be invisible as well, and trekked outside to give him a proper burial. He cried a bit as he dug the hole and plopped the French man in there. He filled the hole back up and went inside to put back on the machine and let himself bathe in the chemicals.
The next day was the end of the ceasefire. The mercenaries were all ready to brawl with the opposing team, guns out and battle cries ready.
Until they noticed the mysterious lack of the spy.
“Say, has anyone seen the spy at all since yesterday?”
“NOPE! MAYBE HES CLOAKED RIGHT NOW!”
Solider yelled as per usual.
As the countdown commenced, they got even more worried. Spy would’ve revealed himself by now.
“This ain’t lookin good. It’s spy for Christ’s sake, he never misses a freakin’ battle!”
The administrator’s voice rang through the room.
“3
2
1
FIGHT!”
The battle began and they ran out of the base.
Engineer began building a sentry in the corner of a hall, keeping an eye out for any spies that may sneak up behind him.
Suddenly, he saw bubbles coming around the corner.
Wait.
Bubbles?
Engie rubbed his eyes and realized it was actually the opposing Pyro bursting flames. He ran back a bit so he could grab his gun, while the sentry did some damage to the Pyro.
how come I saw the wonderland shit when I haven’t used the machine since yesterday?
Didn’t matter. He shot down the Pyro and rebuilt his sentry.
He had a lingering feeling of guilt in the back of his head for spy. He had acted out in pure rage, and killed him for what? Just to relish in a fake world for a couple of minutes? It was horrible.
But deep, deep in the back of his head.
He felt like he deserved it for ridding him of his happiness.
The battle came and went, his team being the ultimate victors this time round. They would celebrate back at the base later that day.
However, after a couple hours back at the base, nobody could find the engineer, or spy for that matter.
Medic and Demo were conversing with each other, a sense of unease could be felt for miles.
“So, have ya seen Dell anywhere since the fight?”
“Nein. Ya think we should check on him?”
“Ya sounds like a good idea”
Just then, the fire alarm started ringing off. Everyone immediately looked at Pyro, but they were simply drinking soda with Scout.
There was large waft of black smoke coming from what looked like
Engineer’s workshop??
“Aye, this doesn’t look good lad”
The two rushed over to the workshop to find Dell was attached to his machine, lighting the place on fire while laughing maniacally.
“I KNEW zhat you must’ve took it, Dell!”
Medic shouted, full of anger and disappointment.
The engineer didn’t hear them. Instead he continued to burn down his own machines, frying them to charcoal.
“Dell! ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING?”
Demo shouted, stomping straight towards him.
He turned towards Tavish, his homemade flamethrower blazing. Demoman backed up to avoid being spritzed by the fire.
“LAD, HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THAT SHITTE ON FOR?”
This time, he answered, in a raspy voice, as if he had been laughing like this for days.
“Oh, just about since we got back from the battle”
“ARE YOU JOKING, THAT WAS 6 HOURS AGO! TAKE IT OFF, YOU’RE GOING TO APHYXIATE” he commanded.
“Nahhh, I’m doing just fine. Besides, you want me to be happy don’t you?”
He stared at the two in the eyes, turning his head to the side like when a puppy wants food.
He was breathing very heavily, likely his lungs were struggling to keep afloat with the chemicals invading the precious oxygen.
Demoman charged at the engineer, trying to rip the mask off his face, with Ludwig coming from the back to grab the flamethrower out of this hands.
“I SAID IM FINE YOU TWO” he laughed, clearly losing it. He slapped his wrench at Demoman, knocking him out for a moment, just enough time for him to start running out.
“COME BACK HERE”
Demoman and Medic ran after the crazed Engie, chasing him down the halls of the base, laughing like a maniac the entire way.
Eventually, after much running, the engineer started to slow down.
He was heaving very heavily, even more then he was before.
He stopped to attempt to catch his breath, but instead collapsed onto the ground, just in time for Medic and Demoman to see as they slowed to a stop next to him.
“Oh no...” Medic murmured to himself as he attempted to rip the mask from the dying man. It felt like it had been glued to his face, refusing to come off.
Dell turned to face the two of them, crying a bit with his face blue from lack of oxygen.
“Don’t bother Medic, I’m toast and you know it.”
He took a big breath of air and raspily exhaled.
“I’m so sorry.
For lying to you all,
for stealing the machine,
for killing spy.
I’m sorry for letting you two down.”
He said as he took one last breath of air and closed his eyes.
He was gone.