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Eric woke up and felt like complete and total crap. The first thing he noticed was that his head felt like he had been bouncing it back and forth between two walls for hours while wearing headphones with Screamo on the maximum volume. He had to physically lift himself out of bed, and then stand there for a minute to regain the strength in his arms. By the bustling sounds coming from the outside, most of the others were already awake. There was a loud clanging followed by scattered screams, making it sound like a pot of some sort had been dropped. The commotion only made the pounding in his head and the ringing in his ears worse. His stomach started cramping; luckily, the bathroom was right across the hall from his and Younghoon’s room, so he was able to make it there quickly without being spotted by anyone.
He knelt down in front of the toilet and put his forearms on the seat to steady himself. Gasping filled the room, but he didn’t actually throw anything up. He stayed there for five minutes just to make sure he was safe. Someone knocked on the door.
“Is anyone in there? The light’s been on for a while.”
“Uh… yeah, I’m in here, Juyeon-hyung. I’ll be out in a minute.”
The sound of retreating footsteps could be heard. Eric sagged out of relief. He got up, flushed the toilet for good measure, and washed his hands. His head still felt awful and he wanted nothing more than to go back to bed with all of the lights off and sleep for a hundred hours. Alas, they had a busy schedule today full of comeback preparations. He didn’t even want to think about dance practice later.
Somehow he managed to pull himself together enough to reach the living room, where he flopped onto a couch and closed his eyes. He put his arms over his face. His forehead felt hot to the touch, even to himself, and he got another sinking feeling in his stomach, this one not from nausea.
If I have a fever…
There were many ways to end that sentence. If he had a fever, that means that this was a lot worse than he thought. If he had a fever, there’s no way the hyungs would let him go to practice. If he had a fever, he had to keep the others from finding out.
There was a snap. Eric uncovered his face to see Chanhee snapping his fingers above him.
“Eric! Are you gonna eat or what? We have to go to practice in like twenty minutes.”
“Huh? Oh, uh… I’ll be there in a minute.”
Chanhee seemed satisfied by this. He walked away to go get himself ready. Eric got up to go to the kitchen even though the very last thing he wanted to do right now was eat. Maybe he could get away with just an apple?
To his dismay, Kevin had prepared a small batch of scrambled eggs for everyone. And it looked like everyone had taken some except for him.
“Oh! There you are!” said Kevin, chewing on a bite of toast. He had already gotten dressed. “I made some breakfast for everyone. It’s not much so if you want more you’ll have to make it yourself.”
Eric grimaced. How am I supposed to do this?
“Actually, Kevin-hyung, I think I’ll pass. I’m just not really that hungry this morning.” He walked over the fridge and got an apple. “See? I think this is all I’ll have.” He tossed it from one hand to the other.
Kevin looked confused. “I mean, if you’re sure.” He pointed a thumb over his shoulder to the bathroom. “I have to go brush my teeth. Enjoy your apple, I guess.”
Since there wasn’t anyone else in the room, Eric got away with taking only one bite out of the apple before throwing it in the garbage. He covered it up with some paper towels.
He had woken up so much later than everyone else that morning that by the time he was finished with breakfast, there wasn’t a wait for the bathroom. Usually that would be a great thing, but today it was cancelled out by the fact that he only had fifteen minutes before they left to brush his teeth, wash his face, and get dressed. He showered last night so he wouldn’t have to shower this morning.
Washing up was quick enough, and when he got to his bedroom to get dressed he was pleasantly surprised to discover that someone had been nice enough to set out a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and t-shirt for him to put on. They probably took pity on him when they saw that he was running a little late. Getting dressed, Eric could swear that he could feel the sickness in the room, and he was sure that if his sense of smell wasn’t completely gone at this point, he would be able to smell it too.
He remembered that Sangyeon made each room keep a thermometer in them, just in case someone caught a contagious disease and they needed to be quarantined from the other members. At the time Eric scoffed, sure that the leader was going a little overboard. Now, though, he couldn’t be more thankful for Sangyeon’s foresight. It took quite a bit of effort to get on his hands and knees to reach under the bed for the box where the thermometer was kept. His limbs were shaking by the time he stood up again, box in hand.
With unsteady fingers, he carefully turned on the thermometer, praying that the batteries weren’t dead. His prayers were answered and the device came to life with a beep. To Eric’s illness-warped sense of hearing, that beep was the loudest thing he had heard all morning. He stuffed the thermometer under his sweatshirt in case it decided to start beeping again. If one of the members heard it and came in, the ruse was up.
He waited a few seconds, and when no one came in, he removed the thermometer from under his clothes. It was one of the ones that went in your ear instead of under your tongue. He stuck it in and waited a few seconds for the beep signalling the results. It took longer than he expected and he was starting to get anxious because they surely had to leave soon, and if he wasn’t out by then someone would come and physically drag him out of the door.
The sound went off. He took it out, nervous to look at the number.
“Eric, get out here!” called Sangyeon.
“I’ll be out in a minute!” he responded, hoping they couldn’t detect the emotion in his voice. He removed his shaking palm from the screen.
101.2°
He slumped. This is exactly what he didn’t want. That isn’t that high, right?
There were footsteps coming down the hall. Eric shoved the thermometer back into the box and threw it under the bed. Before whoever was coming was able to open the door, Eric walked out by himself. It was faster than he should’ve gone; his head spun.
“Hey there, hyung. I was just coming to meet you.”
Younghoon raised his eyebrows. “Sure.” He motioned for Eric to follow him out to the living room.
Everyone was waiting for them. They looked at Eric expectantly.
“Sorry guys. I was just feeling kinda sluggish.” He gave a quick thumbs-up. “But I’m good now! All fired up and ready to go.”
They started filing out the door, Juyeon in the lead, anxious to finally get to practice. Just when Eric thought he was in the clear, Sunwoo passed by him, giving him a suspicious look. Figures, Eric thought.
Even so, Eric followed behind everyone, still making sure to turn off the lights and lock the door behind him through his fevered daze. By the time he had fumbled with the lock enough to actually get it to work, everyone had gotten all the way down the hall to the elevator. In his hurry to join them, he failed to fully register the pain in his stomach getting worse.
As soon as the first song started playing, Eric realized that there was no way he would be able to do this for the entire eight-plus hours they usually did it. He got into position with great difficulty, and was able to finish off the first song. His head was spinning even more than it already was by the end of it. There was no time for a break either, Changmin immediately going to restart the song.
This cycle continued for around three hours. He would dance and make more mistakes than normal, making the others look at him weird. One would come and help him correct it if he missed the same move several times.
Honestly, if didn’t want to keep them from finding out he was sick so badly, he would be kind of offended that no one had noticed something was up. Besides Sunwoo, of course. He had been giving Eric suspicious glances whenever he accidentally stumbled a bit and Eric was sure he was on to him.
At noon Sangyeon called a lunch break, and Eric couldn’t be more thankful. Throughout the morning the ache in his stomach had only gotten worse. He already had to remove his sweatshirt because he was getting so hot in it.
Jacob motioned him over. Eric went, feeling more and more like he could pass out with each step.
“Here,” Jacob said, handing over a wad of saran wrap. “Kevin told me that you didn’t eat much breakfast so I brought an extra sandwich for you.”
No matter how much Eric absolutely did not want to put anything in his stomach right now, he forced himself to smile and take the sandwich.
“That’s so nice of you.” Eric took a bite. “Mmmm,” he exaggerated. Jacob laughed.
He got about halfway through his lunch before he felt it. The telltale twinge in his stomach, the overstuffed feeling in his chest, that all pointed to the fact that he would not be able to keep the sandwich down. He stood up quickly, startling those around him.
“I- I need to use the bathroom,” he managed to squeak out. He didn’t give them any time to react, pivoting and speed walking to the nearest bathroom. Just before he got out of hearing range he could hear Sangyeon yell after him:
“Hurry back! We have to continue in five minutes!”
Eric was too focused on making it to the toilet before he threw up his guts to worry about making it back to the practice room in time. It seemed like the bathroom was further away than normal, but he eventually made it, and just in time too. He barely had the chance to close himself in the largest stall before he was on his knees, puking into a company toilet. In the back of his mind he registered how gross this was, leaning his face inches from the seat of a public toilet, but he figured he had more pressing concerns than that right now.
What felt like hours later he had a break from the sickness spilling from his throat. He heard the door opening and realized that he wasn’t able to lock the stall. All he could do was pray that whoever came in didn’t notice him there.
And then he wasn’t able to pray anymore; he started vomiting again. Jesus, how much did I eat last night?
Over the sounds of him vomiting he faintly heard the door to the stall being opened and shut. There was a hand on his forehead, pulling the sweat-soaked hair out of his eyes. “Breathe,” the voice said. Eric couldn’t focus enough to recognize who it was. “Breathe, Eric. That’s the only way you’ll be able to do this.”
For several more minutes they sat in that position before the retching finally stopped. Eric sat and panted. “Breathe,” the voice kept repeating. Eric breathed in time with the other person here. It helped. It feels like I’m done for good this time, Eric noted with relief.
“Eric? Are you done now?” came the whispered voice of Sunwoo. Of all of the members, Eric was glad that Sunwoo was the one who found him. Sunwoo was never too over-the-top. He could keep a level head, and while most of the members could also do that, Sunwoo was the best at it in these situations. He didn’t overreact when someone was sick; he didn’t freak out and demand bed rest for weeks. He simply took more care of them, made sure they rested as long as they needed to, and accepted when they were ready to get back to work.
“I- yeah. Yeah, I’m done,” Eric gasped, trying to catch his breath.
“You have a fever,” Sunwoo mumbled back, not seeming to have heard him speak. Sunwoo let his hand lay on Eric’s forehead for another moment before he removed it and sighed.
“You know that we have to tell the hyungs about this.”
“Do we, though? Really, I’m fine. This was a one-off thing, I can get back to practice right now.”
Sunwoo scoffed. “Yeah, right. I’ve been watching you all day.”
“Creepy, much?” Eric muttered. Sunwoo glared.
“As I was saying, I’ve kept an eye on you, and you’ve been off since you woke up. Feeling your forehead just proves it! You have a fever, Eric, and a fever is probably just the flu. You’ll get tomorrow off, at most. That’s not too much to miss… Eric? Are you listening to me?”
Eric had zoned out halfway into Sunwoo’s little monologue, but not on purpose. All of a sudden he remembered that he had barely anything to drink yet today, and puking up all of his fluids probably hadn’t helped. Everything was kind of fuzzy, both his hearing and his vision. He could make out the blocky shape of Sunwoo’s hand waving in front of his eyes. He looked up at Sunwoo’s face. Sunwoo’s eyes widened in alarm. What is he so scared of?
And then he was falling forward. The ground that was previously just spinning was now getting closer and closer to his face. He closed his eyes and braced for impact. Oddly enough, the only thought that was going through his mind was hoping that he would still be handsome even with a crooked nose. It took a worrying amount of time for him to open his eyes and realize that he never hit the floor. When he opened his eyes he was looking at the ground, but he was being held up by Sunwoo. Sunwoo pulled him up and propped him against the wall.
“Eric? What was that?” his voice wavered.
Eric opened his mouth but couldn’t make the words come out. He tried to focus his gaze on Sunwoo. There were several copies of him standing there, all with the same worried expression on their face, and he couldn’t figure out which one to look at. He stuck a hand out with his pointer finger in the air, as if he was about to make a great point.
“I… am going to take a quick nap,” he mumbled. In his head he was talking to a crowd of people, making a huge announcement. “I will be back soon.”
Sunwoo could barely make out what he said. “What? Eric what do you mean by-” he wasn’t able to finish, interrupted by Eric falling forward for the second time. Sunwoo was able to catch him again. He held him there for a moment, expecting him to get back up just like last time. Instead, he didn’t move. Nothing happened. When Sunwoo got tired of waiting he flipped Eric over and slapped him lightly on the cheek.
“Hey, you idiot! You’re fine, you didn’t actually fall.” Still, Eric didn’t stir. He was finally out for the count.
Sunwoo stood frozen. He didn’t know what to do. Even just holding still with Eric’s weight his upper arms started to strain a bit. There was no way he would be able to carry him all the way back to the practice room. He carefully laid Eric down on the floor, cringing at how his face was now so close to the grimy, germ-ridden floor of a public bathroom. He started patting down his pants, searching for his phone in his pockets. “ Shit. I left it in the studio, didn’t I?” Indeed he did.
“Okay, I’m gonna be right- right back, okay?” he said, stretching his hands in front of him like one would do to pacify a beast. “Oh, what am I talking about? You’re knocked out.” He made one last attempt to wake Eric up, which didn’t succeed.
Sunwoo walked as quickly to the studio as was appropriate considering the setting. The last thing he needed right now was to be stalled even further by a staff member scolding him for running indoors.
“Where are they?” Juyeon asked aloud for the umpteenth time.
“I don’t know, hyung. None of us know,” responded Chanhee, slightly annoyed by both Juyeon and the two youngest running late. He regretted it a moment later. “I’m sorry for snapping. We’re all stressed right now.” It was true. With the comeback so near, every minute of practice counted. To think that they were missing out on precious preparation time because two members were running late was painful. Of course, there was always the possibility that they were missing because of reasons out of their control. Maybe they got held up by a manager, or got hurt, or… stop it. Don’t think like that.
“Let’s all take a deep breath and look at this rationally,” said Jacob, ever the peacemaker. “They’re probably just fine. One of the staff probably just stopped them to talk for a few minutes, and they’ll be back any second now. It’s only a few minutes past when we told them to be back, anyway.”
In a remarkably conveniently timed bout of situational irony, Sunwoo burst through the door at that moment. He looked extremely frazzled, but not tired or panting like he made a great hurry to get here.
Hyunjae walked over to him and placed his hands on his shoulders. “Sunwoo? What’s wrong? Where’s Eric?”
Sunwoo looked into his hyung’s eyes. “Eric passed out in the bathroom. He- he was getting sick. He’s laying on the floor there because I can’t carry him.”
Everyone shared looks, alarmed. “I’ll go get him,” Sangyeon volunteered. “Sunwoo, you’ll have to lead me to the bathroom he’s in.” Sunwoo nodded.
“I can do that.”
The two set off. The others waited anxiously. No one sat. They all paced the room, glancing at the clock and counting the minutes since Sangyeon and Sunwoo had been gone. Continuing practice was all but forgotten.
After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened. Instead of seeing three people entering, it was just Sunwoo. They rushed to surround him, their fears only being fed by the disappearance of the leader and the maknae.
“Guys, calm down. Sangyeon-hyung just decided to take Eric right to the car instead of going through the hassle of stopping here first.” They kept staring at him, a clear question on their minds. Sunwoo sighed. “He told me that he would’ve made us stay here and keep practicing-” an outburst of protests; “You didn’t let me finish. He would’ve made us stay here if he didn’t know that we wouldn't get anything done anyway.They already left but we can leave now too.” Cheers arose. Everyone scrambled to collect their items.
The walk to the parking lot was the most coordinated they’ve ever been outside of choreography. No one accidentally trod on the back of someone else’s shoe or shoelaces. No one tripped on something or other (or just on plain old air). It was a completely mishap-free journey, which was rare.
When they arrived back the dorm was silent, which was also a rare occurrence. The lights were already on and Sangyeon was doing something on his phone, waiting for them. Eric was nowhere to be seen.
“He’s asleep in bed,” the leader informed them. “He hasn’t thrown up at all since we’ve gotten back and I put a cold washcloth on his forehead to help with the fever. Throwing up really dehydrated him and that’s why he passed out. I made him drink some water so he should be fine now. He probably just has the flu and he should be able to go without a doctor’s visit as long as his temperature doesn’t get too much higher.” All of them relaxed. Sangyeon tensed. Now came the part he wasn’t looking forward to. The rest saw his body language and prepared themselves for whatever was to come. “Now, I know you all want to take care of him, but with the comeback so close we can’t afford more members getting sick. Only Sunwoo is allowed to see him for the next few days because he’s had the most contact with him, especially when he was puking. That means that you’re gonna have to swap beds with Sunwoo for a while, Younghoon.”
They all knew he was right but that didn’t mean they had to like it. Sunwoo himself was the most content with the arrangement. As much as he hated seeing Eric suffering like this, it did mean he had an excuse to spend time with him.
Haknyeon laughed despite the unfavorable situation. “Of course, you would be happy about this, Sunwoo.” He looked at the other members and waved a hand at Sunwoo. “Look at him over there, smiling like an idiot.” They looked; Sunwoo was, indeed, standing there with a very gratified grin on his face.
The next few days passed like a flash to Sunwoo. He got to sleep in Younghoon’s bed across from Eric. He ate his meals in there with Eric, insisting it was to keep him company even though Eric assured him many times that he wouldn’t get too lonely being without Sunwoo for one meal. Sunwoo didn’t tell the other members about that- they were still under the impression that Eric was starved for social interaction. If they found out the truth they would tease Sunwoo relentlessly.
Meanwhile, Eric wasn’t at all happy about missing out on practice no matter how much Sunwoo tried to comfort him by saying that he was such a good dancer he would be able to catch right back up with them.
When Eric was finally deemed fit to return to his normal schedule, the first thing the hyungs did was scold him for attempting to hide his illness from them. This could’ve turned out a lot worse than it did. How would you feel if one of us pulled the stunt you just did? That’s what we thought. Just tell us next time, baby.
Eric wasn’t the biggest fan of that conversation topic.
The first night that the sleeping arrangements were back to normal Eric couldn’t help but feel a little… off. Younghoon was sleeping in the bed opposite him again and Eric didn’t know what was wrong. This had been the case for months. Sunwoo slept in here for a few days and now it was all thrown off?
He got a little too used to the sound and pattern of Sunwoo’s breathing, Eric supposed. He would just have to readjust back to Younghoon’s breathing. Simple.
Eric sat awake for an hour. It was not as easy as he thought it would be. Just as his patience was running out, when his exhaustion and desire for sleep were catching up with him, the door to the room creaked open. He sat up halfway, wondering if Younghoon had gone to the bathroom and was coming back. But no, that was impossible. There had been no break in his breathing, the sole reason Eric was awake and agonizing instead of asleep and at peace with the world. He looked over at the other bed in the room. Sure enough, the blankets were still rising and falling steadily. So who was at the door?
The mysterious person walked over. “Hey,” they whispered.
Eric squinted, trying to piece together a face. “Sunwoo? What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t sleep. I’m guessing you couldn’t either, by the looks of it.”
“...Nah. I’m having trouble tonight for some reason.”
Eric heard Sunwoo’s feet shuffling. “Can… can I sleep with you tonight? Just tonight, I promise. Just until I get used to Kevin-hyung again.”
Eric blinked. “I- yeah, I mean, if you want to.” He pulled back the covers.
Sunwoo got in and pulled them over his own body too. “Thanks,” he murmured gratefully.
“No problem. I think I kind of need this too.”
Sunwoo yawned. “Yeah? That’s… that’s good.”
That was the end of the words spoken that night. Feeling the warm pressure of Sunwoo’s body against his made Eric’s eyelids seem ten times heavier than they were before. What helped the most, though, was Sunwoo’s breathing. It was just the pattern that Eric memorized.
The next morning Kevin woke up and saw that Sunwoo’s bed was empty. He had a sneaking suspicion of where the younger might be, so he walked down the hall and slowly opened the door to Eric and Younghoon’s room. It turned out his suspicions were correct; there was Sunwoo, curled up right next to Eric. Both looked well and truly rested.
Younghoon must’ve already been close to waking, because even with Kevin’s precaution he stirred. “Wha’s goin’ on?” he grumbled. He looked at Kevin, eyes half-closed.
“Shh.” Kevin put a finger over his lips and pointed at the two. Younghoon followed his pointer. “Huh,” he said. He smiled just as Kevin did. “Those kids.”
Younghoon wanted to go and get the others to look. Kevin dissuaded him from that, saying that there was no way all nine of them could manage to be quiet enough to get in and out without waking them up. Instead, Younghoon took a few pictures with his phone before carefully padding to join Kevin at the door.
When Eric and Sunwoo walked out of the room together thirty minutes later, both in oversized pajamas, they got cooed at. They were the last ones to wake.
Haknyeon and Changmin showed them the pictures that had quickly been sent to the group chat. The two youngest blushed.
“It was just for one night guys,” Eric said.
“Exactly,” Sunwoo added, “just last night.”
And when Eric went into Sunwoo’s room that night, they weren’t teased any less. Each time they said it was the last night they would do it.
It was never the last night.