Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Kacchan?”

Katsuki grunts in pain as he tries to respond to the voice. He’s known that voice all his life, been there for its first cry, first laugh, first word. Katsuki knows that voice and the person it belongs to better than he knows himself. And there is nothing that pains Katsuki more than knowing it’s here right now. Katsuki tries to adjust his body position, but he’s stuck in place. Katsuki coughs, trying to sit himself up enough to respond to the person he’s loved all his life.

“De-Deku.”

“Kacchan!” yells the voice again. Katsuki hears footsteps, knows that Deku is sprinting towards him. The sound of his ratty red sneakers against the puddles of rain (or blood, Katsuki can’t tell which is which in this darkness), makes a plip plip sound as Deku comes closer. Katsuki’s eyes are half open, and he wishes he was alone.

“Deku,” Katsuki croaks again. He hates that he has to use this.

“Don’t come, Deku.”

“But Kacchan-” the voice says, otherwise not reacting to the words that have always haunted him, “you’re hurt! I need to help you!”

Katsuki frowns, confused. Now that he thinks about it, Deku shouldn't even be here. This is a different Deku. And, Katsuki realizes, there is something different about Deku’s voice. It seems lighter, much less tired. It hasn’t been through half as much hell as Katsuki’s Deku has, but it’s still been through hell.

Mostly because of Katsuki.

“Deku,” Katsuki calls out, “how-how old are you?”

Katsuki can see Deku’s figure now, rushing towards him with panic in his eyes. Deku kneels in front of Katsuki, right next to his damaged body, and Deku gasps. Tears immediately fill his eyes as his hands hesitantly reach for Katsuki’s face.

“Thirteen,” Deku responds, “but-why are you-”

“Deku,” Katsuki rasps, “I’m twenty-three. You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Yes I am,” Deku says resolutely, hands scrabbling all over Katsuki’s body, trying to find the best place to start fixing his wounds. Katsuki wants to tell him it's useless, but he’s tired of always being the person who takes away Deku’s hope.

“I belong wherever Kacchan is,” Deku continues, “any Kacchan.”

Katsuki’s heart clenches. “What-what are you doing here?”

“I was hit by some kind of time-travel quirk,” Deku responds. His voice is eerily calm, not at all matching the way his hands stutter over the largest wound, the one that pierces through Katsuki’s abdomen. The way Deku’s tears roll down his face, eyes wide and scared.

“Ah,” Katsuki nods, “Deku-you’re in middle school.”

“I know,” Deku says, “don’t worry about that, Kacchan. Let me help you.”

“Why?” Katsuki wheezes, “why are you being-so nice to me? After-after everything? Deku, I-”

“Shhhh,” Deku whispers, “don’t, Kacchan. Please."

Katsuki hears the undertones of desperation in his voice. He nods.

Deku’s hands are covered in blood. He scrutinizes them as he lifts them away from Katsuki’s wounds, watching as blood drips onto the concrete.

“Kacchan, what happened to you?”

“I’m a hero,” Kacchan replies, “I did what I had to do.”

Deku lowers his head, tears falling onto Katsuki’s hero costume, dripping in between the orange crosses. “And where am I?”

“Right here.”

“No,” Deku argues, “where is your me? Why isn’t he right here with you?”

“I-” Katsuki takes a moment to think, “Deku’s with his wife.”

“His wife?” Deku frowns, “I get married? I don’t stay with you?”

“Why the hell would you stay with me?” Katsuki almost laughs, “you’ve always been crazy, you know. But my you came to his senses. Stopped following me.”

“I would never,” Deku disagrees, running his hands over Katsuki’s blood-covered stomach, over his bruised muscles, torn and damaged. “I get into UA with you, right?”

Katsuki smiles at Deku’s optimism. “Of course you do. You’re a hero, Deku.”

“Without a quirk?”

“You get someone else’s quirk.” Deku looks at him in confusion, and Katsuki sighs, “it’s complicated. You’ll learn when it's time.”

Deku nods. “But if your Deku is a hero, why isn’t he here?”

Katsuki sighs. “I told you-”

“If I were your Deku,” Deku interrupts, “I would be your hero partner. Fighting alongside you. I would have been there to make sure this never happened.”

“By what?” Katsuki’s scoff is harsh, harsher than he wanted it to be, “taking the hit for me? That’s exactly why we’re not hero partners, Deku. You’re too self-sacrificial around me. You don’t even take hits for Uraraka like you take hits for me.”

“Uraraka?”

“Your wife.”

“Oh.”

Deku’s eyes are black as he roams them over Katsuki’s deadweight figure. Tears are still steadily falling, and Katsuki clears his throat. Deku looks up.

“It’s okay,” Katsuki says, “Deku is safe. That’s all that matters.”

"But what about Kacchan? Why doesn't it matter if he's not safe?"

Katsuki sighs, decides to be honest. "I don't know."

Deku picks up one of Katsuki’s limp hands. Holds it in his own.

“You love me, don’t you?”

Katsuki exhales. “I do.”

Deku puts Katsuki’s hand on his heart. It’s warm. “I love you, Kacchan. Well, my you. Even though he pushes me around. I always knew you’d come back to me.”

“I did,” Katsuki assures, “I do. We get so many years together, Deku. I get my head out of my ass, and apologize, and we become real friends.”

Deku sniffles. “Why’d I get married to someone else?”

“You didn’t love me anymore,” Katsuki says, “simple as that. You realized you deserved better and you chose someone who made you feel good.”

“I don’t understand,” Deku pinches his brows together in thought, “you’re the only one I love. Even in this future, you should be the only one I love.”

Katsuki coughs; a little blood dribbles down his face. Deku is immediately at attention, bringing his small fingers to rest on Katsuki’s cheek, tracing his jawline and slowly sweeping the blood away. Deku smiles, soft and sad.

“I’m glad you came back to me, Kacchan.”

Katsuki tries for a small smile in return. “Me too. It’s only a few more years, Deku. And then we’ll work things out and I’ll apologize. I promise.”

“You don’t need to,” Deku shakes his head, “I already believe you. And I’m going to do things right. I’m going to love you the way you should be loved. I’ll be fighting right by your side in this battle, and neither one of us will take the hit.”

Katsuki likes the sound of that future. He also knows that- “if anyone can make that happen, it’s you, Deku. I know you can. You’re a hero, you save people.”

“With a smile,” Deku agrees. Then, he sombers.

“Kacchan.”

“Deku.”

“Are you going to die?”

Kacchan lifts his head the slightest bit, takes into account the pole boring a hole through his stomach. The gash bleeding out on his head. How the arm that Deku isn’t holding to his chest is limp and boneless. How utterly helpless he feels.

“Yes,” Katsuki answers.

Deku’s tears fall faster. Katsuki reaches his hand up, off of Deku’s chest and to his face. Wipes the tears away with soft, careful fingers. Nothing like the explosions and smoke this young Deku would be used to from him. Katsuki feels sick.

“I’ll change the future,” Deku says, resolutely, “I’ll save you.”

Katsuki manages a real smile this time, eyes fluttering closed. 

The last thing he sees is Deku, crying. Crying over Katsuki.

Deku, promising to save him. Katsuki heaves one last breath.

“You already have, Deku.”

Twenty-three year old Katsuki Bakugou dies. Thirteen year old Izuku Midoriya lifts his head to the pitch-black skies, rain falling on cold cheeks, and he screams.

Chapter Text

Thirteen year old Izuku Midoriya wakes up in his bed, hands buried in his face, shaking uncontrollably as he cries. His hands reach for a notebook, barely noticed teardrops falling onto the page as he writes with a shaky hand. He will change the future. Kacchan will not die, because Izuku will be there to save him. 

Izuku makes that promise silently to himself, hands clutching his bedsheets, heart racing as the tears escape his ducts and he sobs in the dark. His notebook sits on his lap, flipped open to a page depicting the future and how Izuku will fix it. 

Izuku gets up from his bed with buckling knees. He makes his way over to his mirror. Just barely able to see his reflection. Izuku looks at the item he’s holding in his hands, something he salvaged from the wreck that is Katsuki Bakugou’s crime scene. The sharp edges cut Izuku’s fingers, but he still holds it tightly because it’s Kacchan’s, all he has left to remind him of a future he cannot let happen.

Inhaling, Izuku places Kacchan’s hero headgear atop his curls, fastens Kacchan’s hero mask over his eyes. The metal imitations of an explosion fan out above either side of Izuku’s head, the mask covering part of his blood-covered (Kacchan’s blood) cheeks. Izuku smiles. He thinks about an older Kacchan, one who understands what he did wrong and apologized for it. One who Izuku forgave, loves, and will love forever.

One who Izuku will get to love forever.

Izuku looks at himself in the mirror. He smiles, Kacchan’s smile.

The one he wore right before dying.

Tears stain Kacchan’s black mask as Izuku exhales and whispers his promise.

“I love you, Kacchan.”

Chapter Text

Twenty-three year old Izuku Midoriya is alive and well. Uraraka is sitting in bed nursing a cup of hot chocolate, though Izuku could never make it as well as Kacchan does. Izuku is standing by the dresser, searching through his closet for some clothes to wear to bed. Uraraka looks at him with a fond smile on her face, sitting in her silky pink pajama set as Izuku throws his many All Might hoodies over his shoulder and onto the floor. He emerges from the mess of his dresser, triumphant, holding up his favorite All Might matching shirt and pants. Uraraka laughs at him and sips her drink.

Izuku’s never had a life quite like this. Simple, calm. It’s tranquil these days, with no villains running around, no All for One threatening to destroy Izuku and all that he loves. They managed to destroy them all, and now Izuku is years into being the number one hero and loving it. Hero life can be tough, running into burning buildings, being so terribly afraid you might not save everyone, having to watch someone die in your arms. But somehow, none of it feels so bad when Izuku has a loving wife by his side. Uraraka might not be his hero partner, but she is his partner in everything else. And maybe Kacchan was right, in the end, Izuku should be a solo hero.

Otherwise he’d keep taking hits for the ones he loves.

Hit after hit after hit. 

Izuku would take them again. Not that he would ever tell anyone that.

“Oh, Deku!” Uraraka says, and Izuku turns around to where she’s gesturing to Izuku’s phone on the nightstand, ringing loudly, “someone’s calling you.”

Izuku gives Uraraka a thankful smile and walks over to his nightstand, frowning when he sees that the caller ID is the police. He has them on speed dial due to his profession as well as his habit of always somehow getting into dangerous situations, but it’s not often they call him. Maybe they have a lead on that drug ring they’ve been tracking? Izuku shrugs to himself and picks up the phone, putting it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Midoriya?” Tsukauchi, who still works for the force, speaks on the other end. His voice sounds slightly more panicked than his usual calm tone, and Izuku is immediately on alert. Tsukauchi is good at staying objective; something bad must have happened.

“Yes, detective?” Izuku says, “did something happen? Is anything wrong?”

“You’re Katsuki Bakugou’s emergency contact, correct?”

“Um,” Izuku responds, “yes, of course I am, but what does Kacchan have to do with this? I’m assuming you found a lead on the drug ring we’ve been tracking, right?” Izuku frowns, wondering what Kacchan has to do with this; he isn’t a part of the ongoing drug ring investigation since he’s too low on the ranks. Izuku thinks he deserves to be much higher than twelfth, but the people never seem to agree. Still, Izukiu knows Kacchan will always keep working until he reaches number one.

“Unfortunately not,” Tsukauchi says, “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you.”

Izuku’s hand starts shaking. He puts his phone down on the dresser, putting it on speaker. Uraraka perks up at the sound, and she cocks her head in confusion.

“Is it okay if Ochako listens in?” Izuku asks.

“Yes,” Tsukauchi replies, “she should hear this too. It’s about Bakugou.”

Izuku’s blood runs cold. “What happened to Kacchan?”

Tsukauchi sighs. Izuku hears it over the phone, deep and sad.

“Bakugou passed away half an hour ago.”

Vision going black, Izuku hits the floor.

Izuku swims back into consciousness to the rhythm of Uraraka rocking him in her arms. They’re both on the floor, Izuku’s body curled up in her lap. Uraraka is holding him tightly, hushing him, comforting him despite the tears in her own eyes. Izuku suddenly feels inadequate, knowing Uraraka must be devastated as well. But Izuku feels as though it’s different for the two of them, because Uraraka doesn’t know Kacchan. Not like Izuku does. And Izuku knows that Kacchan isn’t the kind of person who gives up. Villain’s don’t win against Kacchan. Kacchan is Izuku’s image of victory. 

Kacchan cannot be dead.

“Ochako,” Izuku chokes out, “I need to see him.”

Uraraka frowns. “What?”

“Kacchan,” Izuku explains, voice quickly bordering on hysterical, “I need to see Kacchan! I won’t believe that he’s dead until I see his body! Please, Ochako!”

“You-” Uraraka looks conflicted, “you want me to drive you to the crime scene?”

Izuku nods, trying to get up, “I need to see Kacchan! I need to see him, I need to see him, I need to see Kacchan, I need to see Kacchan!”

Izuku’s shouts break as he lapses into sobs. 

“Kacchan…” Izuku sniffles, unable to think of another word to describe what he’s feeling right now. The idea of Kacchan being gone...it seems unreal.

Izuku cannot imagine a world without Kacchan.

Fat tears roll down his freckled cheeks as Izuku murmurs Kacchan like it’s all he knows. In a way, it is. Izuku can’t focus on the way Uraraka whispers, eyes wide and concerned as she promises to take Izuku to see Kacchan, as she helps him up and walks him to the car. Izuku is still crying, sobbing, burying his head in his hands as he sits in the passenger seat of their car. In all of the things Izuku has ever thought about Kacchan, analyzed about him, he neer even imagined a possibility where Kacchan died. The idea of it seems impossible, Kacchan is larger than life and surely stronger than death. That’s why Izuku refuses to believe it until he’s seen the proof for himself.

“We’re here,” Uraraka whispers, and Izuku is faced with darkness, yellow caution tape wrapped around a bloody scene. Policemen and a few pro heroes wander the scene, paramedics having already given up. Uraraka gasps as she watches out the window. Izuku is silent, tears drying as he opens the car door and gets out, legs moving with more purpose than he’s felt in years. Sometimes life gets drab, boring. Every day Kacchan was what made it more interesting, better. Izuku wonders what life without Kacchan would be like. He’s never had to experience it.

“Where is he?” Izuku taps the shoulder of the nearest policeman, Uraraka on his heels, “where is Kacchan?”

“I’m sorry, Hero Deku,” the policeman says, “but Bakugou is-”

“I want to see Kacchan!” Izuku demands.

Blinking in surprise, the policeman simply lifts up the caution tape. Uraraka stays outside; this is not something she needs. So Izuku ventures into the crime scene alone, shoving past policemen and empty forensics kits until he sees the body lying on the pavement, cracks filled with red blood, washed away by the falling rain.

“I’m sorry,” a pro hero Izuku doesn’t recognize says, “he’s dead.”

Izuku’s eyes fall onto Kacchan’s body, a large metal pole staked through his abdomen. He bled out; that much is obvious to see. He’s not breathing, according to mutters Izuku can barely hear he doesn’t have a pulse, either. He was declared legally dead, time of death eleven oh three at night. 

That was half an hour ago. It is now eleven forty one.

The information goes in one ear and out the other, as Izuku kneels next to Kacchan’s lifeless body, his corpse, hands hovering over his best friend's cold skin. He wants to touch, to prove it for himself, but he knows he isn’t allowed to. And besides, Izuku knows what he would find, if he dared to check Kacchan’s pulse.

Kacchan is dead.

Slowly, dangerously, Izuku stands up. He faces the pro heroes inside the tape, eyes narrowed. “Why was Kacchan fighting villains alone?”

“There was nobody nearby,” a hero says regretfully, “and Hero Dynamight doesn’t usually need backup. He’s a strong hero, we thought he would be fine-”

“Strong people need help too!” Izuku shrieks, “someone should have been there! Why is nobody ever there? With-with the sludge villain, with the muzzle, the kidnapping, why is nobody ever there when Kacchan needs him?”

“Look what you’ve done!” Izuku yells, gesturing wildly to Kacchan’s broken body, his lifeless corpse, “you killed him! You killed Kacchan!”

And then Uraraka is there, putting her arms around him, comforting him like she always has, “please don’t blame them. Somebody should have been there, but it isn’t their fault that Bakugou is dead. Villains killed him, not them.”

“No,” Izuku shakes his head, vision blurred with tears, “the heroes didn’t come here in time. The heroes just dismissed Kacchan as strong, like everyone else does, they killed him! The villains hurt him, but the heroes killed Kacchan!”

Uraraka gasps, squeezing him tighter. “Deku-”

“Don’t call me that!” Izuku screams, “not when Kacchan is dead!”

Uraraka lowers her head. “I’m so sorry, Izuku. I’m sorry that Bakugou is dead. He was your best friend, and now he’s gone, and I’m-I’m so sorry.”

Izuku dissolves into sobs again, choking on his own spit and tears as he cries grossly into Uraraka’s arms once again. All he can see is Kacchan’s blood, Kacchan’s red eyes, glassy and wide open and unblinking. He sees Kacchan’s ripped up hero costume, barely registering that the headgear and mask are missing. All he can see is Kacchan, dead, gone forever. And Izuku cannot fathom how he is supposed to live now.

“Kacchan!” Izuku shrieks, over and over and over again, praying to whatever God is out there because he doesn’t know how he’ll survive without his image of victory, his strength, his courage, his best friend, his hero. 

Still crying, still screaming, Izuku pleads with the universe as rain slides down his face along with his tears. Izuku tilts his head to the sky and the stars and begs, because a world without Kacchan cannot possibly be a world worth living in.

Please, Izuku prays, bring Kacchan back to me.

Twenty three year old Katsuki Bakugou dies. 

I can’t live without him.

Twenty-three year old Izuku Midoriya realizes, far too late.

I love him.

Chapter Text

Thirteen year old Izuku Midoriya walks to school with his notebook in hand, writing careful notes as he always does. To the average observer this is nothing new, since Izuku has been writing everything he sees into a notebook with quick fingers for as long as he has been able to write. But Izuku normally writes about heroes, in his hero analysis for the future notebooks. But Izuku doesn’t have anyone in his life who cares about the title of his notebooks, so nobody even spares Izuku a second glance as he walks into the entrance of Aldera Junior High with a notebook titled Saving Kacchan.

To be honest, Izuku isn’t exactly sure what happened to bring him to Kacchan’s deathbed, ten years in the future. Izuku told Kacchan he got hit by a quirk, because that was the only explanation for getting into bed at eleven-forty-one last night and immediately being transferred to the obvious future, where Kacchan was older and stronger, and yet he was bleeding out and so clearly dying.

Izuku had never entertained the idea that Kacchan would one day die.

But now the concept haunts him, making his motions mechanical as he gets up, puts his uniform on, eats his breakfast and walks to school. He goes over the bullet point lists in his notebook, making a list of all his ideas for saving Kacchan. He knows he has ten years to fix the future, and he also knows that none of his options will start until Kacchan apologizes to him. And Izuku doesn’t want to speed that up by confronting him; the butterfly effect would be far too strong. Izuku might accidentally kill Kacchan earlier, somehow. So Izuku resolves to keep his life normal, to keep on having faith and wait for Kacchan to come to him. 

Older-Kacchan promised, and Kacchan never breaks a promise.

But saying he would let things stay the same is very different from actually trying to let things stay the same. Because when Izuku walks into school, the first thing he hears is a familiar voice wafting down the hallway. Immediately perking up at the sound, Izuku walks just a bit faster, putting away his notebook as he walks in the direction of the voice. He always follows that voice, drawn to it as if magnetic. Izuku enters the hallway under the guise of going to his locker, even though all his books are in his bag. He means to start opening his lock, but the moment he catches a glimpse of the owner of that low, rumbling voice, Izuku can’t look away.

Kacchan really is a magnetic force.

He looks the same as he did yesterday, in reality. But to Izuku he looks something different, something ethereal. Because last night, Izuku watched him die. But today, Izuku sees him in a different light. Not Older-Kacchan, but his Kacchan. His Kacchan, who still has a malicious glint in his eyes and a dangerous smirk on his face, even when he’s simply talking to his friends, the ones he calls extras. Izuku’s Kacchan has spiky golden hair and blood-red eyes, and his skin is smooth, unmarred with scars and grime. Seeing Kacchan healthy, whole, fills Izuku with so much relief he can’t even describe the feeling. It’s just an overwhelming happiness at seeing Kacchan alive, even if this is the Kacchan who bullies and demeans him.

It’s still Kacchan.

The Kacchan who was once his friend, and will be again.

The Kacchan who Izuku loves.

The urge to run over there and wrap Kacchan in his arms is far too tempting. But Izuku knows he will likely get an explosion to the face if he does so, and the behavior would be far too suspicious anyway. Izuku has done plenty of research on time travel; his analytic mind had often wondered about the possibilities of time traveling or even a time-manipulation quirk, and therefore knows all about the hypothetical dangers of it. If Izuku wants to save Kacchan, which he will, he has to be extremely careful.

So instead, Izuku quells the beating of his heart and the warmth growing on his cheeks, and steels up the courage to walk over to Kacchan, fists balled at his sides. This is not unusual at all, Izuku tries to say good morning to Kacchan every day, even though all Kacchan does is scoff at him. Izuku’s just happy to hear his voice. So Izuku steps away from his locker and walks over to Kacchan, putting on a smile. The closer he comes to Kacchan the more he sees the flecks of gold in Kacchan’s eyes, the tiniest smattering of summer freckles still left on his nose. Izuku holds in a sigh.

Kacchan is beautiful.

“Good morning, Kacchan!”

Kacchan’s attention snaps to Izuku, and instantly the look in his eyes changes. It’s cold, angry, and so different from the look Older-Kacchan gave Izuku last night. But Izuku doesn’t mind, because he knows that Kacchan will grow to love Izuku the way Izuku loves Kacchan, too. So Izuku doesn’t react, acts completely unfazed as Kacchan narrows his eyes and stares Izuku up and down, watches how Izuku’s fingers curl in and out, how his eyes shine bright because how could they not, when looking at Kacchan. Kacchan’s eyes roll almost imperceptibly, and he scoffs.

“Fuck off, Deku.”

And then Kacchan’s turning away, talking to his friends and ignoring Izuku’s repsence. But Izuku still feels warm and giddy, knowing that Kacchan is still here, alive, and Izuku got to hear him say Deku another time. Izuku doesn’t even care that he has to wait years for him and Kacchan to be friends again, as long as Kacchan is alive. So Izuku just turns and walks back to his locker, grabbing one of his All Might comics to read, passing the time before the bell rings. He steals glances at Kacchan, taking in how handsome he looks, even in the middle of puberty. His voice recently dropped, and it’s so low it sends vibrations through Izuku’s body.

Izuku smiles to himself.

He will save Kacchan.

The next year and a half of middle school passes easily. Izuku gets accustomed to his new life, walking to school and dealing with Kacchan, watching him from the back of the classroom and mustering all the patience he has to keep from confronting Kacchan and getting him to become Izuku’s friend already. But Izuku knows he has to be patient, he has to wait until they get into UA and become more mature people with more life experience, and then Kacchan will apologize and they’ll be friends again. Despite how hard it is, Izuku waits. He watches Kacchan’s back and follows him everywhere like he always has, and Izuku waits.

And waits.

Kacchan keeps taunting him, keeps laughing at his dreams of heroism. Keeps telling Izuku that a quirkless person can’t be a hero, that he’s a useless Deku. But Izuku just closes his eyes and thinks about Older-Kacchan, the way his eyes turned soft as he said Deku like a man in love, and the way it made Izuku feel like he was being pulled from the depths of drowning, like coming alive and coming back home. Kacchan tells Izuku that he will never be a hero, and Izuku remembers the way Older-Kacchan told him he would get a quirk from somebody else, become a hero despite what Izuku’s Kacchan says. Izuku keeps that faith close to his heart; he will become a hero.

Izuku doesn’t know when he will get the quirk he’s been promised, and therefore had no way of knowing it was going to be today. All Izuku knows is the dropping feeling of his heart as he walks back home from school, take a swan dive off the roof echoing in his head. Logically, Izuku knows Kacchan probably didn't mean it, so he doesn’t take it to heart. He’s never really taken Kacchan’s harsh words to heart, even when they disheartened Izuku or made him feel terrible and sad. Izuku refuses to take those words to heart, because if he did he would have lost his faith in becoming a hero. Izuku refuses to believe he really is useless, that he can’t become a hero.

Still, words hurt.

Being suffocated by a sludge villain hurts even more.

All Might telling Izuku that he can’t be a hero hurts the most.

So Izuku walks in the direction of a villain attack, dejected despite what Older-Kacchan told him, because becoming a hero without All Might’s approval makes becoming a hero just a bit less desirable. And Izuku thinks he’s been hurt enough today, that he’ll just go home and try to chase a more realistic career path, but when his feet naturally take him to the spot of the villain attack (because Izuku will always be drawn to wherever Kacchan is), he sees the sludge villain once again and realizes it is all his fault. Someone in there is being suffocated and it is all his fault.

And then Izuku looks into red eyes the exact color of the beat-up shoes he wears everywhere because he can’t let go of his last memory of Kacchan as his friend. And those eyes show something Izuku has never seen in them before, something akin to fear. Crimson eyes are terrified and calling for help, begging to be saved. And it’s without any hesitation Izuku is running into the fray, a knee-jerk reaction made within a millisecond because the moment Izuku realizes that it’s Kacchan in there, being strangled, suffocating and dying all because of Izuku, there is nothing in the world that could stop him from trying to help. From saving Kacchan, like he’s promised to do.

His body moves on its own.

Izuku sees nothing but Kacchan. Everything else is a blur.

“Deku?”

Kacchan, Izuku thinks, I will save you. I promised.

“You looked like you needed saving!”

I need to save you.

“SMASH!”

What took you so long, All Might?

“What were you thinking, running in there like that? You could have been killed!”

What were you thinking, standing there and watching Kacchan die?

“I don’t need your help, Deku!”

I know, Kacchan. But I can’t just stand there and watch you die.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry the heroes didn’t help you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. 

And then-

“You can be a hero too.”

Izuku cries.

It’s odd, Izuku thinks, as he drags metal piece after metal piece across the beach and into his large pile of trash; when Older-Kacchan said Izuku would be given a quirk, he had never expected anything like One for All. And a quirk from All Might, no less. All Might, who now agrees that Izuku can be a hero. Not necessarily quirkless, but Izuku is starting to realize that maybe being a quirkless hero is quite likely to be impossible. Izuku ran to save Kacchan completely quirkless, and he easily could have died. Still, why should he be scolded for trying to help while heroes sit there and praise Kacchan for almost dying because those very same heroes did absolutely nothing to help?

It's a bitter mix of feelings Izuku doesn’t share with All Might, because he doesn’t think it’s right. Heroes are good people, they can’t save everyone. Right?

But Izuku thinks about his hero analysis books, how he pored over them the night of the sludge villain and took note of every hero there, and found he was easily able to make strategies for how they could have saved Kacchan together. Heroes are supposed to adapt, supposed to be able to save people no matter what the circumstances. Heroes can’t save everyone, but in Kacchan’s case there really was no excuse. Kacchan could have easily been saved ten minutes before Izuku came rushing in, and maybe Kacchan wouldn’t have been so affected by the experience.

Because Kacchan is. He’s traumatized. Izuku sees it in the way he never lets people put an arm around his neck anymore, the way he flinches at people sneaking up on him, the way he jolts when a teacher calls his name. Izuku watches as Kacchan takes a seat in the back corner of the classroom, making sure he has a clear view of every exit, pushing his chair all the way up to the wall so that nobody can slip behind him and attack. It breaks Izuku’s heart to see Kacchan so obviously scared, especially because nobody but Izuku can see it. And Izuku probably wouldn;t have seen it if he hadn’t been with Older-Kacchan, seen how he talked and acted.

Izuku’s Kacchan is one step closer to becoming Older-Kacchan. Izuku knows that this sludge villain incident was as important to Kacchan’s story as it is to Izuku’s.

Although it is the start of Izuku’s journey, it is just backstory for Kacchan.

But backstory is what makes the journey begin, is it not?

So Izuku keeps his feelings to himself, knowing that eventually Kacchan will come back to him. He trains with All Might for ten grueling months, becomes closer with the man and grows to respect him as both a hero and a person. All Might is strong, albeit quite similar to Izuku. Izuku remembers how Older-Kacchan had said Izuku is the type of person to take hits for others, how Kacchan had refused to be Izuku’s hero partner because Izuku would take too many hits for him. Izuku thinks about how he was ready to die during the sludge villain attack if it meant Kacchan survived. Izuku thinks about All Might destroying himself to save every civilian he can.

Yes, Izuku thinks, they are quite similar.

And that’s what Izuku needs to change.

Izuku can’t blindly sacrifice himself for everyone. Izuku needs to accept help, understand that there are people looking after him. Like Kacchan, eventually. So Izuku makes a promise to himself that he will be a good hero. He will break his back and crush his bones in order to save everyone he possibly can, but he will not die. And Older-Kacchan will just have to settle for that, Izuku thinks. Because he will get hurt for others, that’s just who he is. But if Kacchan wants Izuku to live, then Izuku will. Because in order to save Kacchan, Izuku needs to stay alive long enough to do so.

So Izuku will.

Izuku gains All Might’s quirk. It makes him stronger, but it breaks his bones. It also gets him into UA, though it was only because of his rescue points. The rescue points he got from saving a girl with short brown hair from the bots. A girl who Older-Kacchan informed Izuku that, in his future, Izuku married.

Ochako Uraraka.

Izuku becomes friends with her easily. She’s very sweet, very pretty. Izuku likes her immediately. But love? Romantic love? Izuku can’t fathom it. If he’s being honest, when Older-Kacchan mentioned that Izuku married someone else, he could barely process it. It felt wrong, like it couldn’t possibly be true. Izuku immediately hated the older version of himself, for effectively abandoning Kacchan and somehow falling in love with someone else. Izuku can’t imagine a world in which he loves anyone except for Kacchan. Previously, Izukiu had thought he couldn’t love anyone but Kacchan. 

Somehow, Izuku still believes that.

Older-Izuku must not have loved Uraraka completely. He must have just not noticed he loved Older-Kacchan until it was too late, unlike Izuku. But Izuku spends his first weeks at school with Uraraka, sees her laugh and smile and blush, and Izuku does not want to hurt her. He will not love her under false pretenses. So Izuku makes a second promise to himself: that he will love Kacchan and only Kacchan. 

Izuku can keep that one without the slightest bit of effort.

Kacchan is mad that Izuku hid a quirk from him. Obviously Izuku cannot tell anyone about it, as All Might told him, but Izuku already knows that Older-Kacchan knows. So after they fight in Ground Beta, after Izuku reclaims the name Deku and decides that now it means he is a hero who always does his best, Izuku chases Kacchan outside of the UA school grounds and tells him the truth about his quirk.

Kacchan doesn’t believe him. It’s for the better, All Might says.

Izuku frowns. One for All is a monstrous burden. Is it really so wrong to want to share it with Kacchan, who was once his best friend, who is still the one Izuku loves?

Izuku doesn’t tell that to All Might. It won’t help anything.

Things go exactly how Izuku imagines Older-Izuku’s life went. He doesn’t go out of his way to change anything relating to him and Kacchan, but he doesn’t see how Todoroki not using his fire would change his relationship with Kacchan. So Izuku, because he has always felt the need to help people, to save them, tells Todoroki to use his fire.

He does, and then he doesn’t.

And Izuku has to sit there and watch Kacchan be muzzled by heroes, the same way heroes just stood there and did nothing when Kacchan was being strangled by the sludge villain. Izuku sees the way Kacchan is panicking in there, probably terrified that he is about to die. And every inch of Izuku is screaming to do something about it, but every time he tries to step forward someone is in front of him, someone is pulling his arm back, a hero is blocking his path. All Might comes to award the medals, and Izuku thinks he might do something, but he just stands there. All Might himself completely ignores how obviously terrified Kacchan is. Izuku’s eyes narrow, blood curdling at the expression in Kacchan’s red eyes. The same fear as the day of the sludge villain.

Izuku loses a little more faith in heroes.

Kacchan flinches when Midnight or Cementoss talk to him. They just roll their eyes or simply turn away from him, despite seeing how Kacchan recoils at their voices.

Izuku loses a little more faith in heroes.

Kacchan gets kidnapped. Izuku has never felt more broken. Because Kacchan is his force of gravity, his push and pull, his reason to keep going. His other half. And the days Izuku spends without Kacchan are days Izuku spends detached from the world, alone in his hospital bed until the second Izuku and the others team up to rescue him.

Students have to rescue him. Teachers are content to sit and wait until they can come up with a proper plan. They focus only on coming up with the perfect strategy to raid the League of Villains, acting like rescuing Kacchan is just an added bonus. Kacchan, who is probably terrified but too proud to admit it, who is probably being hurt.

Izuku loses more faith in heroes.

Kacchan and Izuku fight, spill their feelings out. Izuku learns that Kacchan has been carrying the fall of All Might on his shoulders all this time, fully believing that he was the one who ended him. All Might barely acknowledges how much they’ve all failed Kacchan, just chalking everything up to a simple inferiority complex. As if the heroes themselves aren’t part of the reason Kacchan’s mindset is so messed up. 

Izuku loses faith in heroes.

Kacchan sacrifices himself for Izuku without a second thought; his reasoning being atonement. Izuku leaves UA. Every single hero lets him. Despite how young he is, despite his own recklessness, despite how odd it is to let one child fight alone.

His own classmates are the ones who bring him home, Kacchan at the forefront.

Izuku loses faith.

It’s Kacchan who brings Izuku’s faith back. And it’s with just a few simple words, too. After they bring Izuku home, and he wakes up in the hospital with tubes attached to his body and Kacchan’s hands enveloping his, Izuku smiles at the sight. Kacchan frowns.

“Why’d you leave us, Deku?”

“I had to,” Izuku replies, “nobody else would have.”

“You coulda let us fuckin’ help you.”

“I’m sorry, Kacchan,” Izuku says sincerely, “but at this point One for All really is our last hope for defeating All for One. And the person with One for All is me. Besides, it’s not like the heroes really do much these days, anyway.”

Kacchan scowls. “The hell is that supposed to mean?”

Izuku shrugs. “Heroes didn’t save you from the sludge villain. Heroes muzzled you, took days to rescue you when you were kidnapped. Heroes forced sixteen year olds to fight seasoned, extremely powerful villains. Heroes let me run from UA and fight alone. All Might gave me One for All, and I had to keep the burden to myself for so long. I only told you because you’re Kacchan, and I can’t hide anything from you.”

Kacchan nods. “Yeah, heroes can be real shitty sometimes.”

“I think I’ve lost faith in heroes,” Izuku admits.

“Don’t,” Kacchan replies, and Izuku looks at him, surprised.

“You’re Deku, right?” Kacchan explains, “you don’t give up, and neither do I. The current heroes may be shit, have flaws, but so do you and I, right? They’re awful, and have so much shit to work on. So we see that, see those flaws in ourselves, and we make damn sure to fix them so that we don’t make the same shitty mistakes when we go pro. Because we will, damn Deku. we’ll kill this All for One fucker and go back to UA and become the goddamn heroes we’re supposed to be. I fuckin’ promise.”

“Kacchan never breaks a promise,” Izuku murmurs.

“Damn right,” Kacchan squeezes Izuku’s hands. “Your faith is a good thing, Deku. You just gotta be realistic sometimes, too. But don’t lose all hope.”

Izuku smiles, then, for the first time in probably months. And it feels right, that Kacchan is the first one to make him smile since then. Izuku reaches out his own free hand and places it on top of Kacchan’s, sandwiching their hands on top of each other.

Izuku looks into Kacchan’s red eyes, soft and caring. No fear to be seen.

“I won’t lose faith, Kacchan. Promise.”

Ever since their second fight at Ground Beta, Izuku and Kacchan’s relationship has been on the pathway to mending. They’ve slowly been working on it, through sharing the secret of One for All, through Kacchan helping Izuku train and master his multiple quirks, by Izuku showing Kacchan that he is still a good person and he’s changed from who he used to be. They started as rivals, but after everything they’ve been through together, from childhood to now, stopping the League of Villains and All for One, revealing their true feelings towards each other, they’ve become much closer.

Even Kacchan can admit that.

Now, life at UA is peaceful. Izuku can admit it honestly feels a little too peaceful, sometimes. But he supposes that he just has to get used to it, because there’s probably no way a bigger threat than All for One and his league of cohorts could possibly exist. So UA fortifies their security and makes sure their school is safe for every student, and everyone is able to go back to normal life. Sometimes it’s hard, Kacchan still flinches when people touch his neck, and Izuku keeps forgetting that he has people who love him by his side. Kacchan comes into Izuku’s room and sleeps on the floor, protecting them both from intruders, and protecting himself in case Izuku tries to leave again.

He would never, he only did it the first time to protect Kacchan, and everyone else. As long as Kacchan is safe, Izuku will be exactly where he is.

Because that’s where Izuku belongs.

Now, all threats have been neutralized, and life is tranquil again. It’s the middle of their second year at UA, and it has been more than a few years since Izuku was thirteen years old. He’s starting to wonder when he and Kacchan will become real friends again. There’s significance in the bond that war makes between two people, but once peace is restored the bond becomes tested. So Izuku and Kacchan revert back to hanging out with their own friends, but sometimes looks linger and sometimes hands brush against each other. Sometimes Kacchan will give Izuku a look that seems contemplating, and definitely guilty. Izuku thinks Kacchan might apologize soon.

Not that Izuku hasn’t forgiven him, but it is nice to hear an apology out loud. And he’s sure it’s something Kacchan needs to do for himself, as well, especially since Older-Kacchan seemed to hold it as the turning point of their relationship. Izuku, on the other hand, thinks it was Ground Beta. But of course Kacchan would refuse to believe that they were real friends until he had a chance to apologize. Kacchan is honorable like that. He only takes his wins when he’s truly earned them.

So Izuku waits, with all the patience in the world. He’s been waiting years, anyway. He can wait a little longer. So another few weeks pass by, and they go about the school year the same as they always do, going to class and walking back to the dorms. Until one day Kacchan stops Izuku by the front door, and points to some benches outside on the grass next to the sidewalk. Izuku wordlessly follows Kacchan there, thinking that he knows exactly what’s coming.

They sit down. Kacchan is next to Izuku, fidgeting with the bracelet on his wrist. It was a late birthday present from Izuku, a halfway apology for missing Kacchan’s birthday because he was gone. It’s silver, with red jewels the color of Kacchan’s eyes inlaid a few times along the little metal chains. Izuku always chatters excitedly every time he sees it on Kacchan’s wrist, happy that his friend is wearing something Izuku gave him. Right now, though, Izuku just waits patiently for Kacchan to talk.

Finally, Kacchan speaks. “Izuku,” he says. Hearing his first name out of Kacchan’s mouth sends a shiver down Izuku’s spine.

“Yes, Kacchan?” 

“I’ve been thinking,” Kacchan continues, “that I owe you an apology. Of course I do, after every shitty thing I’ve done to you. But the problem is-”

Katsuki heaves in a deep breath. Izuku waits.

“I don’t know how,” Kacchan finishes, “I don’t know how to say the fucking words, I don’t even know if I can. Because a simple ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t even begin to encompass all the shit I did to you, does it? How am I supposed to sit here and believe a tiny apology will even begin to fix every part of our relationship I broke?”

“You know, Kacchan,” Izuku speaks up, “I’ve never needed to hear more than a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ There is nothing that will fix everything that happened between us for all these years. The only thing we can do is acknowledge where we went wrong. As long as you know what you did was wrong, which I know you do, then all I need to hear is an ‘I’m sorry.’ A little goes a long way, you know.”

Kacchan nods, some of the guilt leaving his face. Izuku is glad for that.

“Izuku,” Kacchan says again, “I was wrong. Of course I was fucking wrong, bullying you, putting down your dreams like that. I was supposed to be your friend, instead I became your enemy. That was shitty of me. I was a horrible person, and if all you want is a two-word apology, then I can give that to you. Because I am sorry, Izuku. I’m sorry for fucking everything. I was so fucking wrong. You were always more of a hero than me, back then. Someone as cruel as me couldn’t possibly be a hero, anyway. But I’m fixing that, now. I won’t be like the current pros.”

Izuku has a lot of things he wants to say to Kacchan. He wants to tell him that he was never a bad person, he just made bad choices. That Kacchan is and always has been an amazing hero. That Kacchan is the person Izuku loves most in the world and of course just a simple apology would be enough for him. That Kacchan bringing him back when he was at his lowest, sacrificing himself for Izuku without a second thought, helping him with his quirk, keeping it a secret, always being there for Izuku, that had always been apology enough. But Izuku says none of those things, because what good would they do if Kacchan wouldn’t believe a word of it?

No, Izuku will tell Kacchan all of those things later.

For now, Izuku will settle for something simple. A simple response to a simple apology.

“I know you won’t, Kacchan,” Izuku says, “you’re better than the current pros already. And thank you for apologizing, admitting you were wrong. I forgive you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Aren’t I the one who gets to decide that?”

Izuku smiles wryly up at Kacchan’s shrunken figure, trying to reassure him. Kacchan looks odd like this, insecure, regretful. But Izuku is proud of him, because although he is far too guilty and beating himself up way too much, Izuku is glad he’s become self-aware, realized that he isn’t perfect. He is not the best.

But one day he will be. 

Izuku is certain of that.

“Hey,” Kacchan speaks up suddenly, “do you prefer Izuku or Deku?”

“Deku,” Izuku responds without a moment’s hesitation.

Kacchan furrows his brows, confused. “What the fuck? Why?”

“Because you gave me that name,” Izuku replies, “I wouldn’t be who I am today without it. And nowadays when you say Deku you’re proud of me, not upset with me. You say Deku differently than the way Uraraka or civilians using it as my hero name say it. You say it like-like it really means something to you. And it really means something to me, too. I mean it when I say I wouldn’t be Izuku Midoriya without Deku.”

Kacchan lowers his head. It hurts Izuku’s heart to see how guilty he still is.

“It’s okay,” Izuku continues, “call me Deku, Kacchan.”

Slowly, Kacchan nods. Izuku smiles. 

“Deku,” Kacchan says. 

“Yes, Kacchan?”

“Thank you. For forgiving me. God knows I don’t deserve it.”

Izuku disagrees, but he knows that won’t help. So instead, he shuffles closer to Kacchan and leans his head on his shoulder. Kacchan lets him, barely stiffening before relaxing once again. Izuku exhales, blowing his green curls into Kacchan’s face.

“Of course, Kacchan.”

Kacchan doesn’t reply, just hesitantly puts his arm around Izuku. Izuku leans into the touch. He isn’t sure how long they sit there, but it's possibly the most at peace Izuku has felt in maybe his entire life. Izuku hopes it's the same for Kacchan.

Izuku wonders if Kacchan has fallen in love with him yet.

Izuku hadn’t known how many things were going to happen before the event of Older-Kacchan’s death. He and Kacchan are real friends again, which makes it simultaneously easier and harder to keep being patient until the day Izuku can finally save Kacchan. His notebook is carefully stocked away on a bookshelf in his third year dorm room, right next to the drawer where he still keeps Kacchan’s headgear and mask. His Kacchan has his own now, but Izuku likes keeping the ones belonging to Older-Kacchan. It reminds him of what he needs to do. Save Kacchan.

Occasionally, Izuku checks things off the lists in his notebook or adds new points. Every day he discovers something now about the future Older-Kacchan went through, and Izuku meticulously adds each one to his notebook. Izuku is eighteen now, and he knows there are five more years before he saves Kacchan.

He also knows that today is the day Uraraka will confess to him.

In all honesty, Izuku is not sure how he knows this. He figures that maybe because it was a day that must have been important to Older-Kacchan, Izuku now knows when it will be. Maybe it is related to whatever quirk sent him to that night in the future in the first place. Either way, Izuku is prepared for whatever comes next. He doesn’t know when or how Uraraka will confess, but this time he knows exactly what he will do. He will not hurt Uraraka by staying with her when he doesn’t really love her. Still, Izuku wonders how his older self could have possibly deluded himself by believing he loved Uraraka. How could Older-Izuku possibly get over Kacchan?

He probably never did, Izuku thinks. Maybe he never knew he loved Kacchan, too busy just trying to get Kacchan to be his friend again.

This time around, Izuku is going to do it right.

It’s the week before graduation. People are making their plans for which hero agency they will join, who they want to team up with and who they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Plenty of people have been coupling up in the last few weeks, and the 3-A dorms have been filled with happy couples, old and new alike. Izuku has spent these weeks observing Kacchan, watching the way he seems not to care at all about the romances his classmates are involved in. but because Izuku is paying even more attention to Kacchan than his older counterpart must have, Izuku sees the way his face contorts into a fake neutral expression and how he hides the pain in his eyes.

Seeing Kacchan hurt like that hurts Izuku too.

Uraraka approaches Izuku in the evening after classes. She taps him on the shoulder and asks if they can talk in private, so Izuku agrees. They sit outside on the grass next to the dorms, leaning against the large floor to ceiling windows as they talk. Uraraka fidgets with her rings the same way Kacchan had fiddled with his bracelet a year earlier. Izuku’s been noticing the similarities between the two of them since his first year. Izuku can see why Older-Izuki would have fallen for Uraraka, rather than Kacchan. He doesn’t understand it, but he sees. Uraraka and Kacchan are quite similar.

“Deku,” Uraraka says. It was odd at first, hearing someone else call him Deku. But in first year Izuku realized that Uraraka was the one who repurposed the name, showed Izuku what it could truly mean. That Deku is a hero who does his best. Uraraka is and always will be Izuku’s best friend in the world. They have saved each other, understood each other, always been there for each other. Although Izuku properly associates Deku with Kacchan, he doesn’t mind Uraraka using it as well anymore. Deku sounds pretty and lilting from her mouth, whereas it sounds determined and meaningful from Kacchan’s. Izuku likes both versions, and he likes how it sounds from civilian’s mouths as Izuku saves them; relieved and in awe. Izuku likes being Deku.

“Yes, Uraraka?” Izuku replies, despite knowing exactly what she is going to say.

“Um,” Uraraka draws her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them, “I need to tell you something. I originally wasn’t going to, but then I was talking with Bakugou and he told me to just go for it, so here I am. Going for it.”

Izuku tilts his head, blinking confusedly. Kacchan was the one who told Uraraka to confess to him? But why would he do that if he too was in love with Izuku? Has he just not realized yet? Did he only realize when he saw Izuku with Uraraka and immediately cursed himself for telling her to confess to him? But no, that didn’t sound like the Kacchan Izuku knew. Kacchan might not act like it, but he is very self aware when he wants to be. He would have realized his love for Izuku the moment he fell in love with him. Which means Kacchan told Uraraka to confess to Izuku…

While in love with Izuku.

Oh. 

Kacchan really does believe he doesn’t deserve Izuku. He really does believe he’s not worthy of love, that he’s not Izuku’s hero, not the only person Izuku has ever and will ever love. He truly believes that Izuku will be better off without him. Because Kacchan, Kacchan who always goes after what he wants, as long as he believes he’s earned it, does not believe he has earned the right to always be by Izuku’s side.

Izuku needs to fix that. 

But right now, he has to fix something else.

“Okay,” Izuku musters a smile for Uraraka, trying to make this easier for her, “you can tell me absolutely anything, you know. And if Kacchan told you to do it, then you definitely should! He’s always right about these things.”

Because Izuku would be happy with Uraraka. Not as happy as he would have been with Kacchan, but happy enough to spend his life with her. So while Kacchan’s mindset is wrong, his heart is in the right place. He knows Izuku well, knows exactly which person would make him the happiest right after Kacchan himself.

“Yeah,” Uraraka sighs, “Deku, I-”

Izuku waits patiently for her to gather up the courage.

“I’m in love with you,” Uraraka finally finishes, “and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, half the class is in love with you, really. You could be with any of us. But I’ve felt this way for three years, and I can’t keep it inside any longer. I love you, Deku.”

Izuku feels the tears coming on. He imagines that for Older-Izuku, they were tears of happiness. But for him, they are tears of sadness. Because he can already see that Uraraka loves Izuku the way Izuku loves Kacchan, and it breaks his heart to have to reject her like this. But accepting her confession and giving her an incomplete life is a million times worse, a million times more cruel. Izuku refuses to do that.

“Uraraka…” Izuku sniffles, “I-I’m so sorry.”

Uraraka’s face falls.

“I can’t return your feelings,” Izuku looks down at the grass, unable to face her, “I’m not in love with you. You’re my best friend in the world, and I love you platonically, so much, but I just don’t love you the way you love me. And I know how much that must hurt you, and I am so sorry I can’t love you. But I refuse to give you a half-happy life when you deserve someone who loves you wholly, because you’re so amazing and you deserve to be loved by someone who adores and admires you. And that’s not me. I hope that we can stay friends, Uraraka, but please take all the time you need.”

Another sniffle comes from next to him, and Izuku’s heart pulls apart at Uraraka crying as well. She nods at him, forcing a tiny smile on her face.

“It’s okay, Deku,” Uraraka responds, “I don’t want you to be in a relationship with someone you don’t love, either. And I might need some time, but as soon as I’m ready of course we can be friends again. Thank you for being honest with me.”

“Of course,” Izuku says, “you deserve to be loved, and whoever ends up with me deserves to be loved properly. And I hope you know that you’re my best friend, Uraraka. And I’m really so lucky to have you in my life.”

“Same here,” Uraraka agrees, “you’ve always been my best friend too.”

Uraraka makes to get up, dusting the grass and dirt off of her skirt. Izuku stays sitting down, but he offers her a genuine smile along with his watery eyes. One more tear slips down Uraraka’s cheek, but when Izuku reaches out a hand to her, she takes it and squeezes. Something passes between them, some kind of understanding. That no matter what, they will continue to be best friends, and they will be okay.

Uraraka leaves, and Izuku leans against the wall and looks up at the stars. 

Some months later, Kacchan will tell Izuku that Uraraka came up to his dorm after their conversation. Izuku will learn that Uraraka sobbed her heart out into Kacchan’s arms, and Kacchan held her as he silently wondered how he could possibly have a chance, if Izuku rejected even someone as wonderful as Uraraka.

Older-Izuku never would have had that conversation. Izuku is starting to think Older-Izuku was extremely oblivious to what was right in front of him.

Some months before is the day before graduation. Izuku and Uraraka have been avoiding each other simply to have some time apart before they go back to being best friends. They agreed that time apart was the best option for both of them. Because of this, Izuku has been spending a lot more time with Kacchan. And every day his stomach is filled with nerves, because he has a very important question to ask Kacchan and he knows that if he does it right this time, he will not get rejected.

There are three main things Izuku wanted to fix, three main points written carefully in his notebook on the night Izuku watched Kacchan die itself:

Don’t let Kacchan die.

Reject Uraraka’s confession.

Become Kacchan’s hero partner.

And finally, today, Izuku is going to do it. He is going to ask Kacchan to be his hero partner, and this time the answer will be a yes because Izuku will promise with everything he has to never take a hit for Kacchan, unless he is sure it isn’t fatal. And he has every intention of keeping that promise, because he remembers that brief period in first year when he was at his absolute worst, never letting anyone help him. Always taking the hits for everyone else, trying to save everyone himself. Now Izuku knows that doing that is wrong, that the people who love him just want him to protect himself. Save everyone, save the world, but save himself too.

And with Kacchan by his side, Izuku will always remember to do so.

The afternoon of their last day of school, the day before graduation, finds everyone having a party in the 3-A dorms. Class B is down there too, and everyone is partying and having fun. Kacchan spent about an hour down there to appease his friends, and then he tapped out and went to his room. Izuku spends a while longer down at the party, spending time with his friends and even Uraraka, finding that going back to being friends isn’t proving to be as hard as they previously thought. But after a while Izuku starts to miss Kacchan, and he also knows that his time to ask Kacchan about being hero partners is running out. Once they become pros, the process of becoming a duo is much harder to do. So once Izuku says goodbye to his friends and everyone else at the party, he makes his way up to Kacchan’s room.

“Kacchan?” Izuku knocks on the closed door of Kacchan’s room, “it’s me.”

“Come in,” comes Kaccna’s muffled voice, so Izuku opens the door. Kacchan is lying on his bed, scrolling through something on his phone. He puts it down when he sees Izuku, who closes the door behind him and moves to sit next to Kacchan on the bed. Kacchan moves to sit up, leaning against the pillows, shoulder to shoulder with Izuku. Over the years Kacchan has grown more accustomed to touch, and nowadays he is much less afraid that he might hurt Izuku with his hands the way he did before. Izuku isn't afraid of Kacchan or his quirk, though. He never has been.

“Party’s downstairs,” Kacchan says, “the hell are you doing up here?”

“I want to ask you something,” Izuku replies, “and I keep wimping out.”

Kacchan snorts. “don’t be a coward, Deku. The fuck do you want to ask me?”

“Well,” Izuku takes a deep breath, because it's now or never, “I’ve been thinking. We’re going to graduate and be pros soon, which means we have to choose which agencies we’re going to because by the start of summer we have to have signed a contract with an agency and started proper sidekick work and everything, and I’ve been really thinking about which agency I want to go to and...who I want to go with.”

Kacchan looks up from where he was thumbing a short thread fraying off of his comforter. “And?”

“And,” Izuku says, “I want to go to an agency with you. I don’t care where we go, Endeavor, Hawks, Miruko, anywhere. But I want to go there with you, because...I want to be hero partners with you. Like All Might’s always said, I want to save and win with you. My dream of becoming a hero has always been partly accomplished because of you. I’d still be a vigilante on the streets, all alone if it wasn’t for you. If it wasn’t for you, I might have just stayed a quirkless kid with shattered dreams because I had nobody to prove wrong, nobody to push me forward. My dreams of being a hero and being your friend again have always been so closely intertwined, and now that they’ve both come true there’s nothing I want more than to be a hero with you, together.”

Kacchan raises one eyebrow at Izuku, processing.

“Let me get this straight. You want to be hero partners...with me?”

Izuku nods emphatically. “There’s nothing in the world I want more, Kacchan.”

Kacchan frowns. “No.”

Izuku was expecting this. Still, it hurts. “What? Why?”

“You want the honest fucking truth?” Kacchan asks, turning around to he’s fully facing Izuku, red eyes boring into him. 

“Yes,” Izuku replies, “why can’t we be hero partners?”

“Because I don’t want to be partners with someone who’s going to be dead by twenty-five!” Kacchan raises his voice, and Izuku doesn’t even flinch. He just lets Kacchan be angry, because Izuku is realizing that he deserves this.

“At the rate you’re going,” Kacchan continues, “breaking all of your fucking bones for anyone and everyone, sacrificing yourself for the world wihtout giving yourself even a second thought, you will be dead in less then a decade. Deku, it’s taken me a longass time to admit this but you’re my fucking friend. And I refuse to be partners with someone who I care about if it means I have to constantly see them get hurt, throwing themselves into every fight so recklessly, even taking hits for me. I took one hit for you in a battle that we never would have won otherwise, because you would have died. I only take hits when it’s necessary. You’re the exact opposite. I just can’t be your hero partner if I have to watch you get hurt every day, with the knowledge that one day I’ll be watching you die. I ain’t fucking doing it, Deku.”

“What if I promise that I’ll never take a hit for you?” Izuku asks without hesitation, because he was always willing to make this promise.

Kacchan looks skeptical. “You can’t keep that promise.”

“I can and I will,” Izuku argues, fierce and resolute, “I will never take a hit for you in any situation. I will always make sure to find a situation in which we can get ourselves and everyone else to safety. I’ll take hits only when I have to, if a villain gets me when I’m not able to dodge, or when they’re not fatal. I will only take hits when they’re necessary, and I’ll never take hits for you. If you never take them for me.”

“Okay,” Kacchan says after a moment, “you don’t take hits for me, I don’t take hits for you. We make our way out of situations together, as a fucking team.”

“Exactly!” Izuku agrees, “I promise it’ll be okay, Kacchan. Please be my hero partner? We make such a good team, and I never want being with you to end.”

Something about those words dull the light in Kacchan’s eyes. He goes back to looking down at his bedsheets, away from Izuku.

“No,” Kacchan says again, and his voice sounds choked, “I can’t be your hero partner, Deku. I can’t-I can’t be with you forever. Not like this.”

“Because you want more, right?”

Kacchan whips towards him, eyes wild and fearful. Izuku immediately curses his big mouth, but he knows that if he never said anything, Kacchan would have never said anything, either. Kacchan would never believe his love was unrequited.

“Because you love me, right?” Izuku continues, quietly, carefully. He has to tread light. “I’ve noticed, Kacchan. You love me, just like I love you. You want to be with me, really be with one, just like I want to be with you. So why can’t we, Kacchan?”

Kacchan’s eyes widen, almost wet. He seems disbelieving, fingers shaking as they splay across his bed. Izuku reaches out and places his hand on top of one of Kacchan’s, hovering for a second before wrapping tighter. Kacchan lets him, and Izuku memorizes the feel of Kacchan’s warm hand inside of his.

“Because,” Kacchan says, “because you can’t love me.”

“Why?” Izuku presses, “I’ve forgiven you for everything, you’re my best friend, I can’t think of anybody else in the world who I would love.”

“Uraraka-”

“-Is my best friend. She already confessed, and I rejected her.”

Kacchan narrows his eyes. “Why-”

“Because I love you, Kachaan. You, only you, always you. I have never loved anybody but you. I love you so much that sometimes it's all that I am. You’re my heart, Kacchan. You’re a magnetic force and I’m the pole drawn to yours. You’re my north star. You’re-you’re my image of victory, Kacchan. You’re my hero. I love you.”

Kacchan’s eyes slowly grow wetter. His hand moves from under Izuku’s, turning upwards to brush the pad of his thumb along Izuku’s palm. Izuku moves his hand to the side, flipping it over to interlace his fingers with Kacchan’s.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Izuku tells him, “I know what you feel for me. I just want you to know that I feel the same way too, that I want to be with you in every way too. Please, Kacchan. Be my partner? In heroics, in life, in everything?”

Kacchan is quiet for a long time. Izuku lets him, stays silent as Kacchan decides. Finally, Kacchan takes their hands, still holding each other, and squeezes.

“Okay, Deku. Partners.”

Izuku’s smile only leaves his face when Kacchan kisses it.

They graduate the next day. There’s a formal party, after. There, Izuku and Kacchan debut their relationship and Izuku tells Uraraka. She understands and congratulates him, saying that of course Izuku can’t just not date people to appease her, and she’s glad he’s with Kacchan rather than anyone else. Izuku’s friends and Kacchan’s friends alike congratulate them, and Kacchan looks the happiest Izuku has ever seen him.

Kacchan, ever so confident Kacchan, looks through their numbers and decides they’re popular enough to easily open an agency right off the bat. It’s a risky move, as All Might and Aizwwa and practically everyone tells them, but Kacchan seems immensely confident that it will be successful. And Izuku has full trust in his partner. So they open up their own agency, and it ends up being just as successful as Kacchan had said. Many UA alumni from the years below them join them, and they work closely with their friends’ agencies and many other pro heroes.

Izuku and Kacchan don’t take hits for each other. Izuku lands in the hospital sometimes, of course, but much, much less than he used to. Because the look of abject, unfiltered pain on Kacchan’s face when Izuku wakes up, face bloody and bones broken, is horrifying and heartbreaking enough for Izuku to try as hard as he possibly can to keep himself safe while fighting. No more unnecessary sacrifices.

Izuku did promise.

When they are twenty-one years old, Izuku proposes to Kacchan. This time, there’s a miniscule amount of insecurity and guilt in his eyes, but it immediately disappears in favor of giving Izuku a smile and a yes, Deku.

Later that year, Izuku gets another feeling, that this is the day he married Uraraka. Instead, Uraraka is over at Izuku’s house helping plan his wedding. She’s over Izuku, has been for years. Uraraka’s not focused on a love life, instead working on upping her position in the hero rankings. The day passes uneventfully, peacefully.

When they are twenty-two years old, Izuku marries Kacchan. Uraraka is his maid of honor, Kirishima is Kacchan’s best man. Todoroki officiates, his voice carrying the most emotion they’ve ever really seen in them. All Might, Inko, and Masaru cry in the front row while Mitsuki tries and fails to comfort them all at the same time. Kacchan has Kirishima and Kaminari walk him down the aisle, deciding they made more of an impact on his life than any adult figure did. Izuku walks with his mother and All Might.

Kacchan’s vows are only about a paragraph, but they mean more to Izuku than anything. Kacchan rarely says I love you out loud, preferring to show it through his actions. But he says it in his vows, for everyone to hear, and Izuku says it back. Izuku’s vows, on the other end of the spectrum, are three pages. It started as twelve, then Iida and Todoroki helped him cut it down to seven, and then down to three. Izuku plans on giving Kacchan the twelve-page version later that night, because like hell is he just going to throw it away. But even the three pages are enough to make Kacchan tear up, just a little. Not as much as Izuku does; he’s sobbing for the whole ceremony.

Izuku is the happiest he has ever been. All because of Kacchan.

When they are twenty-three years old, the day of Kacchan’s death dawns. Izuku has been counting down the days since he was thirteen years old and had just witnessed Kacchan die. This time, however, Izuku is prepared. Still, it doesn’t stop him from worrying, being jumpy and nervous the entire day. Kacchan notices it quickly.

“Deku,” Kacchan says while making breakfast. They don’t have work until their night patrol today, so they slept in and now Kacchan is making pancakes at noon.

“Yes, Kacchan?” Izuku asks from his spot behind Kacchan, hugging him from behind with his cheek pressed to his shoulder. He’s been trying to touch Kacchan all day, keep him close just in case. Izuku can’t help it, he just needs to be sure Kacchan is safe and alive. Today, of all days, it’s the most important thing.

“What the hell is up with you?” Kacchan asks, “you’re all over me, you jump at every little sound, the fuck is wrong?”

Izuku has never kept a secret from Kacchan before, but this is a secret he is planning on keeping. He’ll talk about it when they’re old, seconds before dying, maybe. But for now, he doesn’t want Kacchan to worry about his own death. It doesn’t really make Izuku feel guilty, mostly because he knows that if he told Kacchan, it could activate the butterfly effect and something awful could happen. And Izuku doesn’t want anything to deviate from the plan, otherwise he won’t be able to save Kacchan.

“I’m good,” Izuku tells Kacchan, “just kind of hyper today.”

Kacchan sighs, but lets him be.

The day passes normally. They hang out at home, eat leftover noodles for lunch at four in the afternoon, and then get ready for their six o’ clock patrol. They switch out for Todoroki and start their route, watching the sunset from near their old neighborhood. They spend the next few hours in relative peace, but as the time draws nearer to eleven Izuku gets more and more worried. He draws closer to the location he remembers Kacchan’s crime scene being at, and the churning of his stomach grows more insistent. By the time it hits ten, even Kacchan is starting to feel that something is coming. He starts walking faster, trying to gain more sweat. Izuku follows.

And then, finally, at ten thirty-two, when the clouds have given way to pouring rain, they hear it.

“Help!”

Izuku and Kacchan take off running, without even looking. It’s a collapsing building, they realize quickly. Izuku can see the metal poles as they crash down, and he winces at knowing one of those impaled Older-Kacchan. Izuku is quick to go rescue civilians, while Kacchan immediately runs towards the villains responsible for the crash. Izuku can’t imagine how this fight must have been without backup. Kacchan, trying to defeat the villains and rescue the citizens at the same time? Izuku shudders at the thought. But instead of dwelling on old mistakes, Izuku immediately extracts as many people as he can from the buildings, careful to avoid any areas where it looks like it might fall on him. He works quickly, and soon he has everyone out with just a few scratches on his body. No self-sacrifice to be seen.

Izuku runs to find and help Kacchan, and immediately he can see exactly how Older-Kacchan’s death happened. Kacchan is currently in a one on two fight with two villains, who seemingly both have some kind of teleportation quirk because Kacchan is having trouble keeping up with them. Izuku can see how close they are to the building, can see exactly the point at which one of the metal poles holding the construction of the building up will easily slice through Kacchan’s abdomen. Already one of Kacchan’s arms seems broken, hanging limp and crooked by his side as he tries to get explosions out of it. Izuku rushes in to help, taking one of the villains off Kacchan’s hands. 

They fight in tandem, with smooth, well-practiced moves they’ve been using since UA. Their romantic attachment doesn’t hinder them at all, Izuku refusing to let his love for Kacchan make him not trust his self-preservation skills as a hero. Izuku will save Kacchan, but without dying himself. He promised, to both himself and Kacchan.

They manage to unhand both villains, handcuffing them and leaving them on the curb. Izuku turns to Kacchan and smiles, elated at their win, forgetting for a moment why he is here and how they ended up at this fight to begin with.

And that’s when he sees it.

The building has one last hit to take, as the last upright side of it collapses in two jerky motions, and then the metal pole slips and falls, and at the rate it’s going the pole will hit the ground slanted, going right through Kacchan and putting a hole into his stomach as it makes its way down. Izuku watches it in almost slow motion, the way Kacchan doesn’t notice because he’s too busy looking concerned at the far too quick change in Izuku’s expression. The way his heart drops and his eyes widen and then he’s screaming, screaming as loud as he can despite Kacchan being right in front of him-

“Kacchan!”

The way he screamed when Kacchan was getting kidnapped.

“Kacchan!”

And then Izuku is moving, diving to catch Kacchan and shove them both out of the way, Kacchan hitting the ground with Izuku flush on top of them, and they watch in horror as the pole wedges its way into the ground, just a foot away from where Kacchan is now, exactly where Kacchan was standing before. 

“Fuck,” Kacchan mutters. Izuku rolls off of him and kneels over him, immediately checking for injuries, heart beating out of his chest. He’s panting, searching Kacchan frantically, lifting his shirt to make sure the only scar on his stomach is the one he got taking a hit for Izuku when they were kids, making sure there’s no gaping hole like the one that haunts Izuku’s dreams. But no, it’s just the broken arm and the head gash. The cuts and scabs and bruises lining Kacchan’s skin. Nothing fatal.

“Deku,” Kacchan says worriedly, reaching his hand out to cup Izuku’s cheek, “Deku, stop freaking out. I’m fine, okay? I’m fine. Promise.”

“Kacchan, you-” Izuku breathes out, panicked, “you almost died-”

“But I didn’t,” Kacchan smirks, “I’m alive, Deku. Thanks to you. You didn’t take the hit for me, you got us both out of the way. You kept your promise.”

“Yeah,” Izuku agrees, “I kept my promise. I saved you.”

Kacchan smiles. “You saved me, Deku.”

Izuku bursts into tears, then. He becomes weightless, dropping onto Kacchan’s chest and throwing his arms around him, and Kacchan uses the hand that doesn’t belong to his broken arm to hug back. Izuku cries for what must be at least ten minutes; Izuku cries until eleven oh three at night. Kacchan’s time of death. But now, Izuku looks down at Kacchan, very much alive, and suddenly his heart becomes warm.

He did it. He saved Kacchan.

Twenty-three year old Kacchan lives. Twenty-three year old Izuku Midoriya smiles.

Izuku takes Kacchan to the hospital. He gripes about his injured arm for days, but Izuku can’t bring himself to care because Kacchan is alive, and nothing makes him happier. Izuku does the hero work for both of them, while Kacchan stays home and cooks with one hand and goes to physical therapy as he’s healing. Eventually Kacchan recovers, and as soon as he’s allowed back to work Kacchan sends Izuku home to relax and takes over the next few of their patrols by himself. Izuku places his trust in Kacchan and lets him go, knowing that he’s kept his promise, he’s already saved Kacchan.

Life is easy, now. Izuku keeps his notebook, keeps Old-Kacchan’s headgear and mask, but he doesn’t need to pull them out to look at anymore. Because now he has his Kacchan, alive and well, and there’s nothing he needs to worry about. Every day he wakes up to Kacchan making something delicious for breakfast, and every night he goes to sleep next to a peacefully asleep Kacchan right next to him in their bed.

“I love you, Kacchan,” Izuku will say. He says it like a promise. He swears it.

Kacchan will lean down and kiss Izuku, long and slow. Kacchan kisses Izuku like a promise, too. He swears I love you, Deku in his every kiss, every touch, every action.

Izuku will kiss him back, and they fall in love all over again in the middle of their kitchen. Dinner is cooking on the stove, and they are both alive and happy. 

Rinse and repeat. The world keeps turning. Life is good.