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“And that is why I’ve called you here today.”
Thaddeus claps at Simon’s finished presentation while Thomas and Judas beside him roll their eyes.
Judas stands from the coffee table. “We are not starting a band called “Judas and the Judai.” That is stupid.”
Simon gasps. “You sat through my whole lovingly thought-out presentation-”
“I’ll give him one thing,” Thomas relents, “the slide transitions were smooth.”
Judas glares and smacks him on the arm.
“Ow.”
“-and then you have the audacity to reject it! After seeing my passion for this project, you spit in my face!”
“Guys, guys,” Thaddeus starts. “I think it will be fun.”
Simon cheers. “Exactly! See, Judai? Jude gets me.”
Thomas grunts. “I just don’t see the point, Simon. Why are you so convinced that we have the musical talent to be in a band?”
“Because it’s genius! Thaddeus is on drums-”
Thaddeus pauses in his tapping on the table. Looking down at his hands, he murmurs a soft “oh.”
“-Thomas is on bass guitar-”
Thomas squints his eyes in suspicion. “How did you know I play bass guitar?”
“AHA! Methinks Thomas doth protest too much! It was a guess!”
Thomas grumbles, crossing his arms.
“-and Judas! My main Jude! My favourite! From Kerioth, Judea-!”
“Get to the point.”
“-he writes some saucy poetry that I think we can make into songs!”
Judas scowls in confusion while Thomas tenses up.
Thaddeus sits up, excited. “Poetry?”
“Yeah!” Simon pulls out a small leather-bound notebook, the only writing on the outside being the name “Judas” neatly burned into the leather surrounded by decorative flora. “He’s got some cute ones about Jesus-”
Judas stands up and snatches the book from Simon’s hand. Cracking it open, it takes one glance for him to recognize the handwriting. He glances over at Thomas, who is frozen in terror. Folding the book shut, Judas shrugs. “Yeah. It’s my writing. What of it?” he asks with a forced edge to his voice.
Thomas regards him with a look of shock then gratitude while Simon laughs at Judas’ face.
“Waxing poetically about wanting to touch Jesus’ abs and you have no shame?”
Thomas’ face turns burning red as Judas smacks Simon over the head with the book.
“You shut your ass up.”
“Hey, if I were good at poetry…” Thaddeus trails off, rubbing his arm sheepishly. “Well, I don’t blame him!”
Simon grins. “See? You are all so obsessed with Jesus. Might as well start a band in his honour!”
“Is that not what we’ve done already as his disciples?” Thomas asks, willing his blush away.
Simon grimaces. “Peter is tone deaf, and I’m pretty sure John just can’t sing.”
Judas crosses his arms. “So, you demand that us three form a band because you can’t have all twelve of us in one?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
“Form your own damn band with it’s own stupid name.”
“Hey! You should be happy that I chose to name it after you and didn’t call it The Zealots 2!”
Judas rolls his eyes. “Very original.”
Thomas cocks up an eyebrow. “The Zealots 2?”
Judas sighs, crossing his arms. “The Zealots were an acapella group that-”
Simon cuts Judas off, throwing his arms around his shoulders. “-that Judas and I were a part of before joining the twelve! Isn’t that cute? That’s how I know he’s a good singer.” He squeezes tightly, and Judas chokes as if strangled.
Thaddeus grins. “So, that was you in the shower the other day!”
Thomas smirks. “Nice pipes.”
“Okay, enough!” Judas yells, elbowing Simon off of him. “I will not be bullied into being the lead singer of a band that you came up with, Zealotes.”
Simon shrugs. “Eh, less bullying, more peer pressure.”
“And we all know that Judas is not susceptible to that,” Thomas muses sarcastically. “Just take Thaddeus’ many rats for example.”
Thaddeus shoots up out of his seat. “You just reminded me! I need to feed them!” He sprints to his room.
Judas scoffs. “They’ve already been fed!”
“They need treats for being good rats!” Thaddeus calls from the other room
Thomas tugs on Judas’ arm to get his attention from his seat. “How’d you know that the rats were fed, Iscariot? Unless you play an active role in the feeding of those rats,” Thomas teases.
“Jude and Thad’s joint custody of rats aside- who said I was going to make you lead singer of the band, Judas?” Simon asks.
Judas frowns. “What are you talking about?”
Simon laughs. “Dude! You said I was bullying you into being the lead singer! I never said anything about that! I only mentioned your cringy poetry!”
Thomas’ expression once again sours at the mention of the poetry.
Simon climbs up onto the table. “Methinks thou doth protest too much, Iscariot!”
Judas’ face goes red. “You said I was a good singer, so-”
“Ah, ah, ah! I said that after you said you wanted to be lead!”
Thomas smirks. That was a lie. Simon was pulling the wool over Judas' eyes by lying about the order of events. How devious.
“I never said that!”
Simon crouches to meet Judas at eye level. “Sure~ whoa--”
Thomas pushes Simon off the table. The two Judai laugh as he hits the ground with a graceless thump.
Simon, on the ground, has not lost any of his gusto. “You can deny me, maybe-”
“Definitely.”
“Yeah, Simon? If there is any one of us that Iscariot will never do a damn thing for, it’s you,” Thomas muses.
“-RUDE! You can deny me, sure! But can you deny him?!” Simon points to the door, where Thaddeus has returned holding the three rats. Archibald, a bald rat, scurries around in his hair, Tyratosaurus is on his shoulder, sniffing at his beard, finally, Judas Iscarrot is cradled in his hands, nibbling on the orange root vegetable that is half of his eponym.
Thaddeus looks up. “Are we still arguing about the band, guys?”
Simon jumps up and strolls over to Thaddeus. “Actually, I thought we’d put it to a vote. Ya know, since it will be you three who play in this band while I am your manager.”
“You can’t manage shit.”
“Suck it, Iscariot,” Simon retorts before turning back to Thaddeus, looping an arm around his shoulder, forcing him to slump down. “So, Jude. Judy. My favourite Judas.”
Thaddeus laughs. “Just earlier you said-”
“Shhhh, I know what I said,” Simon hushes him, pressing a finger to Thaddeus’ lips. “Are you in on the band?”
Thaddeus thought for a moment before pulling Simon’s hand away from his mouth. “Hmm.” He casts a glance over at his fellow Judai and grins. “I’m in if you’re in! I think it’d be very fun!”
“Eh,” Thomas glances Judas’ way to avoid the sheer brightness of Thaddeus’ smile. He smirks when he sees the man tense, clenching his jaw and eyes shut.
“I suppose,” Judas grits, “that it won't hurt.”
Simon whoops. “AHA! I KNEW IT! Seeya suckers! I’m gonna go make tee-shirts!”
“Simon, get your flat ass back here!” Judas chases after him.
Thomas shrugs. “I didn’t even get a vote.” He holds his hands out to Thaddeus.
“Aw,” Thaddeus sits beside him, placing Tyratosaurus into his open palms. “Your vote matters the most, Twin-twin.”
Thomas scoffs, but can’t help the smile pulling at his cheeks. “Fuck you, Jude.”
Thaddeus laughs and leans against him. “Love you, too, Jude.”