Chapter Text
Unlike my older brother who’s been a prodigy his whole life I’ve always been the let down. More so his presence outshined mines and I was always the second choice. I was looked down on many times through out high school while my brother just kept succeeding in whatever my parents would try and force him to do.
But with me they wouldn’t even give me another glance. I wish they would’ve tried and make me put in some more effort instead of just making excuses for why I was such a troubled child.
“No, Haruka just can’t keep up with you Katsu.”
I heard my mother say to my older brother once while preparing dinner. What did those words mean exactly? I wouldn’t find out until another five years. When my brother finally graduated early being top of his class.
While everyone always paid special attention to my older brother, I was busy doing my own thing. Which at the time was science experiments. If I had told mother that all these times instead of studying and trying to become top of my class I was instead pouring different liquids in vials to form reactions she would have thought I was hopeless, at least more than she already thought I was.
I wish I could tell her that.
“Sorry mother, I’m not my brother.” I didn’t want others validation unlike Katsu.
One thing I couldn’t rap around my head was my brothers gaze. He would always look sad and put on this fake smile in front of my parents.
What could he possibly be sad about, he’s gotten everything.
Is what I would always think, I didn’t even try to understand Katsu and that will forever be one of my biggest regrets.
present day…
I stare blankly at the shop in front of me, labeled, Mr. Matsuna’s Flower shop. The air feels oddly gloomy today as rain taps on top of my umbrella.
“I guess I should go in now.” The sound of my own voice will never get old, throughout the years it has changed after all. I make my way inside the shop.
Once I enter the shop I give the old man at the counter a small friendly smile and close my umbrella.
“May I help you with anything young lady?” The old man asked me.
”Actually yes, do you sell any Hydrangea flowers? Specifically this kind?” I pull out a wrinkled photo and showed the old man.
His face seemed to light up after a few seconds,
“Yes, I do! They just arrived yesterday.”
I smile at the news, good. Seems I don’t need to wander into any more stores after this one.
“Could I please get a bouquet with those and a few other types.” I question.
The old man nods and tells me to wait as he goes in the back of his store. He comes back holding a bundled bunch of the Hydrangea flowers and a few daisies. He hands them to me and I whisper a thank you.
“May I ask why you’re buying such flowers?”
I stare for awhile at the counter and take a deep breath.
“They were my older brothers favorite.” I say and hand him the money.
He seemed to put the pieces together and goes to say something, but before he does I stop him.
“You shouldn’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault.” My carefree attitude seemed to have shut him up and he gives me a nod.
“Have a good evening then young lady.” I say a silent thank you and make my way to the door.
As I was making my way towards the setting where the funeral was going to happen. I see a young man about my age, with black hair walk past me.
I thought nothing of it until I heard my name being called. I turned around and saw blue eyes staring back at my brown ones.
“Eh?” I let out a small sound of confusion.
“Amane Haruka, is that you?” The black haired young man says with a smile.
I squint my eyes and analyze him, black hair and blue eyes? I’ve never met anyone like that let alone ever spoke to this man before have I?
“Excuse me, do you know me from somewhere?” I glare, is he a stalker perhaps? I look at his outfit, yea definitely not.
Once I asked him that he seemed almost irked.
“It’s me! Hanagaki Takemichi!”
No way…
This kid?! No wonder he seemed like a total weirdo. Not just his looks but his whole wardrobe changed. For the better at least.
I thought back to the little boy who used to run around with his friends all the time, used to get beat up too. Didn’t he have a massive crush on Hinata as well?!
You’re telling me this is him? He looks nothing like he used to.
“Oh.” Was all that came out of my mouth in the end. By the looks of it he wasn’t satisfied with my answer.
“Anyways how have you been? We need to totally catch up.” He smiled and started walking in the same direction as me.
Ofcource I didn’t want to seem rude so I let him. I mean at some point we were friends.
“Not as well as I thought I would be.” I gave a sigh. I wonder how Hina’s been doing.
“What do you mean? I thought you were a scientist now.” He inquired.
“I am, but that’s not the only thing that’s bothering me.” I look at the time on my phone and it looks like I would be running late.
To my own brothers funeral nonetheless.
”I see you glanced at your phone, where you headed to?” I grumble something and he looks at me.
”What?”
“I said, you sure ask a lot of questions.” I give a little laugh and see his face go red from embarrassment and I also noticed the rain has stopped.
Takamichi finally acknowledged the bouquet of flowers I was carrying.
“Who are those for?” He pointed at them.
“My brother…” I say quietly, not wanting to go into much detail.
“Why would he need those, unless-“ he came to a halt as he realized that maybe he was talking too much.
I stare at him and say nothing, I then proceed to walk. He follows me but this time not talking so much.
“I know it’s none of my business…but what happened to him?” I see that he was genuinely curious and I didn’t want to make him feel like I disliked him by simply brushing him off.
“Well, long story short…he shot himself.” I hear Takamichi gasp at how my brother died.
I see his look of pity and grit my teeth. I never wanted to be looked at like that again. Like some helpless, defenseless girl.
“Don’t look at me like that, I-“
I abruptly stop as he suddenly embraced me. The jacket he was wearing also encompassed warmth and gave me a sense of nostalgia. Almost like I needed this hug, how much I missed being embraced all these years. It did kind of feel nice.
Before I could ask him why, he spoke up,
“Haruka…you’re crying.” I hear him softly say.
Ah, I hadn’t even noticed as my own tears flowed out of my eyes. How could I have noticed my brothers cry out for help all these years.
I am truly the worse sister aren’t I.
“Hey, how about I go to his funeral with you?” Takamichi says after releasing me.
“You don’t have to do that honestly.” I wouldn’t want to trouble him.
“No I insist, please lead the way.” I sniffle and gave him a warm smile.
How could I forget such a friend?
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Once me and Takamichi arrived at the church, we got many odd looks. Ones that I haven’t had in such a long time. I miss being in my secluded office, I really dislike packed places.
The only guess I had as to why we were getting such looks was because of me.
Although my brother has passed away, not much people expected me to be at his funeral. Did they think I was some cold hearted sibling who hated their brother, or did they think I wouldn’t show up because I was jealous of him.
Either one, both assumptions were made by the ignorant people who thought less of me even when I was a child.
I walk up to my brothers casket and press my fingers to his head, it was something he would always do to try and cheer me up, whenever mom and dad disregarded me.
I feel my legs give away as I crumble in front of his casket, before Takamichi could even try and catch me I was already on my knees laying my head on my brothers stomach. I didn’t even recognize how much I missed him until I saw his dead body laying upon me. How vile of me.
“Haruka-“ I shush him before he could speak.
“Please…Takamichi, just don’t.” I feel the tears flow. I wasn’t used to showing my emotions, but perhaps I will let my guard down for this moment.
I will let the ones who’ve looked down on me since I was a child, to have this one memory of me being vulnerable. This after all was going to be there first time seeing me cry even after they tried to hurt me ever since I was little.
To them I was unbreakable, but not smart enough. Now they will see…I’m just as human as my brother, and that words do hurt.
“I’m…sorry Katsu.” The words that came from my mouth even baffled me. I never wanted to apologize to Katsu, I didn’t think his life would ever come to this. Just where did I go wrong?!
I feel hands on my back and wipe my tears. I look up at Takamichi and I could see a trail of tears from his eyes as well.
I silently get up and place the bouquet of flowers on Katsu’s stomach.
“Here brother, your favorite flowers.” I smile sadly and try not to cry again. It would be quite unsightly if I do it again. But it should be expected, he’s my brother after all. I should be able to mourn as much as I’d like, but I can’t. Not with these people around, judging me all the same.
“Shall we go now?” Takamichi says to me.
“Yes, I’m satisfied now.” Me and him made it outside and I see that life continued on just the way it always did. The streets are still buzzing and the people are still working. Nothing has changed.
The silence isn’t for long though. I hear Takamichi speak up.
“Would you like to go to a cafe with me? It’s close by here.”
I look at him blankly and he began stuttering.
”I-I understand if you wouldn’t, I mean this is all very new to you and I wouldn’t want to burden-“ I let of a chuckle.
”Come on, let’s go then.” I see him smile and we begin walking.
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”It’s right over there!” I glance to where he pointed to. It was a very small but delicate looking place.
“Someone seems really excited.” I joke.
”Ah! I mean it’s been awhile since I’ve talked to any of my old friends so please understand where I’m coming from.” He scratches his head.
“Yes of course, I was just teasing. Shall we go?” He nods and we begin walking.
We come across a train station, as we wait for the train to come take us, I felt someone shove me hard into Takamichi. Causing him to fall right in front of where the train was speeding towards.
I won’t make it in time! I try to grab him but it doesn’t look like I was going to make it.
All of a sudden a black haired man comes in and pulls him right away from the speeding train. Almost like he knew he was going to get pushed and was waiting to save him.
How weird.
I help him pull Takamichi all the way up before I turn around and face him getting ready to thank the young man.
But when I look up I see a face I haven’t seen in a very long time.
“Naoto?” The boy, no, man now. Freezed up after hearing me say his name.