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The street smelled a little, Merlin could admit that. He was also not a fan of the squelchy sounds under his shoes and some of the things in his peripheral vision were just best ignored.
But Arthur in front of him was looking handsome, golden and radiant, smiling a little as he held Merlin’s eyes and almost making him forget about the damp and disgusting alley that they were walking in.
Merlin was walking backwards and Arthur was humouring him, he knew that, with an amused tilt to his mouth that Merlin kind of couldn’t stop staring at. So, on a whim, he slowed his walk and reached out to take a hold of Arthur’s coat to pull him closer and into a kiss.
Arthur seemed to be expecting it, there wasn’t much Merlin could do anymore that surprised him. They kissed lightly as they walked –it was a good thing the street was empty –and Merlin felt a little giddy when Arthur pressed a bit hard, making Merlin stumble in his backwards walk. He wondered if Arthur would object to being pushed against the filthy walls on either side of them for a proper makeout session and concluded that he probably wouldn’t protest to it right away but would make Merlin get his coat dry-cleaned later.
Just as he was contemplating the pros and cons of snogging Arthur in a dark alley vs making a trip to the dry-cleaners, something hit the back of Merlin’s foot and he tripped over sharp wooden edges with an oof . He went sprawling on the dirty ground, landing on his butt with his hands scraping over the fine gravel.
Arthur was still standing, owing to the fact that he’d let go of Merlin at the last second, and had the audacity to stare down at him with surprise.
"Why did you let me go?" Merlin exclaimed.
Arthur shrugged, offering him a hand. "Reflexes."
Merlin took the hand, shooting a poisonous glare at Arthur, and got to his feet. "Reflexes are supposed to make you catch people, arsehole, not let them fall,” he sniped, dusting his hands on his trousers. “Sooner or later, I will be filing for divorce."
Arthur rolled his eyes and crouched down to inspect the box Merlin had tripped on. Suddenly, his whole expression changed into one of serious concentration, his on-job face taking over and Merlin knew why. By now, in their line of work, they could accurately identify when an item looked suspicious. And this box checked all the boxes (pun intended). It was made up of simple slabs of wood, unmarked and smelled a bit of gunpowder.
Merlin and Arthur shared a look and Arthur sighed, fishing out the Swiss knife he always kept on his person. He got the box unlocked with expert precision and groaned when he opened it.
“I knew it,” he grumbled, pocketing the knife as he stood.
Merlin stared down at the dozen guns at his feet, rifles and revolvers and shotguns. "These idiots are getting so sloppy. I would make such a better criminal."
Arthur raised an eyebrow at him.
Merlin huffed. "You know I would."
"I know you have ."
Merlin didn’t answer, suppressing a small smile.
They stood gaping at the box for another moment before Arthur let out a noise of frustration and kicked the lid shit.
"You and your stupid shortcuts."
"You were totally fine with the shortcut a moment ago," Merlin replied, offended. “I would even go as far as saying you were enjoying it.”
"Shut up,” Arthur said, biting back a smile of his own. “What do we do about this?"
Merlin sighed. “It’s alright. We’ll follow protocol. It’s fine.” He looked at Arthur. “It’s fine, right?”
Arthur pursed his lips. “Yep.”
"Nothing's ruined."
"No." Arthur didn’t sound very convincing.
"We can just take care of this and get back to our evening,” Merlin soldiered on optimistically. “Shouldn't take more than an hour. I'm sure the restaurant will understand. Call them and ask them to change our reservation."
Arthur nodded, as Merlin started to type quickly on his own mobile, the secret one.
"They're asking me why," Arthur said thirty seconds into the conversation.
Merlin looked up from his screen. "What kind of an idiotically personal question is that?"
"Apparently, they'll only do it if there's an emergency."
"Why would someone still go to eat out after an emergency?"
Arthur gave him a meaningful look and Merlin rectified, "I mean, aside from us," remembering the time they’d ravenously scarfed down countless slices of pizza at the nearest pizzeria while still being bloodied and bruised from their escapades, and probably traumatising the other patrons.
“What should I say?” Arthur asked urgently, his hand covering the mic.
Merlin pointed at the wooden box. "Well, this definitely constitutes an emergency."
Arthur huffed exasperatedly, the way he did when Merlin was being particularly thick. "I can't very well tell them we found a cartload of firearms, can I, Merlin?"
Merlin waved a dismissive hand. "Fine. Tell them my pet hamster died."
Arthur didn’t look very satisfied but agreed. “Fine. We'll go to celebrate his little imaginary hamster life later."
"Her."
"Whatever."
Arthur changed their reservation while Merlin contacted HQ, listening to Gaius drone on about directives and feeling a little dejected about their failed date night. They’d planned it meticulously after managing to get the same day off after weeks of dignified begging and Merlin had wanted it to be perfect.
It wasn’t like they didn’t spend any time together, they were partners in life and work, but it had been a long time since they’d done any normal couple things. In fact, Merlin couldn’t even remember the last time they’d gone out somewhere and just had a fun night without any near-death experiences.
Despite being married to him for two years, Merlin felt he’d hardly dated Arthur. One morning, he’d proposed to fix that. Arthur had agreed enthusiastically.
So far, it wasn’t going very well. The whole firearms fiasco took three hours, with Gwaine asking if they wanted to help track the vehicle that had dropped the box and they, being Merlin and Arthur, hadn’t refused.
The restaurant had closed by the time they reached it and, in an attempt to salvage the ‘date’, they’d ended up at one of their usual foodcarts for some unsatisfying, greasy dinner.
Merlin tried to console himself that they would have other dates, that at least they’d helped bring some dangerous people down and besides, he thought as he watched the wind ruffle Arthur’s hair, the night wasn’t over yet.
The night wasn’t over yet.
Arthur could see that Merlin had had the same thought, could sense it, so he grabbed his hand and interlinked their fingers. Just as he’d expected, Merlin leaned into his side and rested his head on Arthur's shoulder as they walked.
"What do you want to do now?" Arthur asked as a faint drizzle started up over their heads. It was nothing that would deter them.
"Go home,” Merlin answered.
"Already? It's still only eleven.”
"Yeah, and I had plans for eleven that can still be carried out."
Arthur was confused at first but then he knew what Merlin meant from the way he slowly dragged his thumb over Arthur’s knuckles, repeating the motion over and over. Suddenly Arthur couldn't walk fast enough.
They stopped to kiss in at least two places before managing to get inside their house, barely able to keep their hands off each other.
They didn’t even turn on the light and in his haste to remove his coat, Merlin stumbled over Arthur’s trainers kept near the door, one of his hands conveniently flying over to knock the vase kept on the entryway table.
Arthur stopped in his own movements and stared at Merlin.
He pointed at the shattered remains of the vase on the floor. "You did that on purpose."
Merlin’s eyes were large and innocent as he leaned his back against the wall. "What are you talking about?”
"Morgana gave us that vase and you hate it, so you broke it on purpose," Arthur accused, crossing his arms.
"Arthur," Merlin said in a low voice, and reached out to draw Arthur closer. Arthur went, mostly because Merlin’s voice of persuasion was incredibly sexy and Arthur had long stopped trying to resist it.
Merlin trailed his fingers over Arthur’s chest, ultimately looping his arms around his neck. "Do you really care?"
Arthur looked at him, washed silver and beautiful in the glow of moonlight, and decided that he didn't.
He pressed Merlin further into the wall, leaning closer to capture his lips with his own. He could feel Merlin smile with victory and nipped at Merlin’s lower lip to humble him. Merlin tugged his hair sharply in retaliation, to which Arthur got his cold hands under Merlin’s shirt and well, things got a little carried away after that.
"When you talked back to your dad at the base, I wanted to jump your bones right there," Merlin said between kisses, trying to get impossibly closer, his whole body curving into Arthur’s.
Arthur pulled back slightly, dazed. "Wait. Out of everything that happened tonight, why did that turn you on?"
Merlin gave a little shrug. “The heart wants what it wants.”
“Right. Your heart ,” Arthur snorted. “You’re the weirdest person in the world.”
“And you married the weirdest person in the world, so what does that make you?” Merlin asked with a tilt of his head.
Arthur chuckled. “A fool, apparently.”
“Apparently.” Merlin smiled and Arthur had no choice to pull him back into a searing kiss.
He didn’t care about these things, not really. Arthur already knew all there was to know about Merlin, knew that he was a little freaky, it was why he’d married him. And also because he was incredible with a machete and made a mean burger. And because Arthur maybe loved him a little bit. If little bit meant more than life itself.
Just as their bodies were making the mutual decision to move this to the bedroom, a little scraping noise came from inside the house, nearly inaudible, and they froze.
“There’s –”
“Yeah.”
Arthur and Merlin glanced at one another, sharing a look of immeasurable regret and separated from each other with a deep sigh.
They had a routine for this sort of thing. Merlin disappeared into the darkness, wearing a sad pout that Arthur was determined to kiss away later, and Arthur went towards the sound that had come from a little corner near the kitchen. There was no movement there anymore and Arthur picked up one of the darts kept on top of the fridge. He positioned it in his hand, took precise aim and threw.
Just as he’d expected, a startled gasp sounded from the corner, followed by a surprised laugh. A weaselly-looking man wearing a fitted suit emerged from the darkness, his oily hair slicked back. He had a revolver pointed right at Arthur’s heart. "Alright, you got me. Very impressive.”
Arthur assessed the threat level of the man –observing the weak hold on his gun, the beads of sweat on his brow, the way his eyes darted around –and relaxed considerably when he concluded it to be a resounding zero.
“Hello,” he greeted pleasantly. “And who might you be?”
The man sneered. “Lucas Parks. The Walter Parks’ son,” he boasted proudly. He looked around. “Where’s Emrys? I heard two voices."
"Oh, so you’re one of Merlin’s.” Arthur nodded slowly. “Sounds about right. The name didn’t sound very familiar to me.”
“Answer my question!”
Arthur rolled his eyes and acquiesced. “He isn’t here, he’s on a mission. We were on call just now and he was on speakerphone."
“You think I’m stupid enough to believe that?” Parks spat, his hand on the gun shaking slightly.
Arthur suppressed a smirk and gestured to the flat. “You’re welcome to check.”
“And leave you here alone?” Parks laughed in what he surely thought was a menacing way. “I don’t think so.”
“So…are you going to leave now?” Arthur really hoped he’d say yes, it would really save them a lot of trouble. "I'm not even going to ask how you got into our house, I’m guessing you don't know. Probably just got your lackeys to do the actual work and sent them on their way so you could be the big scary guy carrying out whatever epic villainous plan this is, right? That was stupid of you, Lucas.”
By the furious twitching of Parks’ face, Arthur knew he’d hit the nail on the head.
“Change of plans,” Parks replied through gritted teeth. “I was going to kill Emrys before. But this is even better. I’ll kill you and watch him cry over your dead body. Oh, I’m going to enjoy this. An eye for an eye. A spouse for a parent."
Oh, so another one out for revenge. Arthur was bored. He wished Merlin would hurry up.
He scrunched his nose at the cringey sentence. "That wordplay is really not as clever as you think."
Parks bristled with rage and held his gun tighter. "Shut up and get on your knees!"
Arthur remained standing. "Sorry, I don't do that for anyone except my husband."
There came a barely stifled laugh from behind Parks and before he could even turn around, Merlin had knocked him out with one hard blow to the head.
He grinned at Arthur. "Nice, that last one. I liked it."
"I try," Arthur responded drily. "What took you so long? He was infuriating."
"Sorry, I got a text from Morgana."
"What did it say?"
Merlin gave him a sad smile. "She knows about the broken vase."
Arthur threw up his hands in disbelief. This, out of everything, shocked him the most. “Unbelievable! How does she do it? Does she have cameras installed in our house?”
“No,” Merlin sighed. “We checked.”
Arthur conceded and Merlin looked down at the man lying in a heap at his feet. He nudged him with his foot and Parks moaned pathetically.
"Ugh.” Merlin scowled in disgust. “His eighty-year-old father put on a better fight than him."
“A rat would put on a better fight than him,” Arthur amended. "Who's got tie-up duty?"
Merlin brightened up. "You! I did it last time."
Arthur feigned amnesia. "I don't remember that actually."
“Oh, that's not going to work on me,” Merlin scoffed. “Get on with it."
Arthur glared at him. “So, the big revenge plan is for you but I have to be the one to clean it up.”
Merlin conveniently turned the other way.
Later, as they were getting into bed, Arthur had a look at the alarm clock beside his bed and groaned.
"How is it almost one?"
Merlin didn’t answer, sitting cross-legged on the bed and rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"It's your fault," Arthur stated, wincing as he stretched his aching muscles.
Merlin glanced at him. "For killing his father? He really was a terrible man, you know."
"For not keeping the rope where it's supposed to be."
“Here we go again,” Merlin muttered.
"I told you to keep the rope in its proper place,” Arthur scolded. “What if this had been someone with more strength than a ten-year-old?"
Merlin cocked his head and gazed down at him with a devilish grin. "Don't worry darling, I would've protected you anyway."
Arthur rolled his eyes and pulled him down on the bed with a smile. "Idiot."
Merlin settled against him under the covers, pushing close to Arthur.
"Your plans still on?" Arthur asked, turning on his side and dropping a lazy kiss on Merlin's shoulder.
“Nope, too tired,” Merlin yawned, eyes already closed and snuggling deeper into the mattress.
"Thank god ,” Arthur exhaled in relief, shifting closer and draping an arm across Merlin's chest.
"In the morning," Merlin promised sleepily, patting Arthur’s arm. "I'll rock your world."
Arthur didn’t even have the energy to make fun of him for it.
"Okay."
A few minutes passed in silence and Arthur thought that Merlin had fallen asleep, was almost heading in that direction himself, when he heard Merlin whisper, "Arthur?”
“Yeah?”
“We'll try again. The date thing."
Arthur nodded. "Definitely."
"It'll go better."
"For sure.”
“I’ll actively ignore every suspicious-looking thing that we come across and we’ll get a hotel room so we don’t have to come home,” Merlin told him.
"Mmm, sounds nice,” Arthur said, nosing into Merlin's collarbone. “Just no shortcuts next time, okay?"
Merlin laughed softly and Arthur felt him kiss the top of his head.
"Yeah,” Merlin agreed, a smile in his voice. “No shortcuts."