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Chester's favorite afternoons are when he gets to spend all of his time with Jesse. They often skip another shift or two, just to spend some extra time together, which they both feel they can never get enough of lately. After all, delivering pizzas is difficult, and the least they can do is allow themselves to have a few bong hits to wind down.
They prefer to smoke from a bong because it gets them high much faster, and that gives them more time to spend together. Most days they eat pizza and play nintendo, but today was different. Ever since Chester’s family had disowned him, he’s had trouble sleeping, and today in particular, Jesse had noticed the dark circles under his eyes and his vacant stares at the TV. He had noticed his shaking shoulders and the beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, so he has to keep him calm.
He knows that this will be one of those days that they don't go to work, and tells himself that it's what's best for Chester, that he really deserves the time off, and while this is true, he also knows that, at least in part, he's being selfish. He wants his friend to himself for the afternoon, and shit, dude… He deserves some time off, too. He doesn't care if Mr. Pizzacoli fires him, he's got more important problems these days.
Chester pulls his favorite pipe out of his bag, as the light reflects off of it in a way that makes it look brand new. The blonde didn't feel like bringing the bong today, they always spent a longer time smoking from a pipe, and he wanted to spend as much time there as possible, he wants this to last. He passes the pipe over to Jesse, who puts in a glass filter and pulls out a small zip-lock bag of already-busted weed, before packing a much larger bowl than usual because he knows Chester needs it.
Chester stares fondly as Jesse curls his lips around the clear glass, breathing in the first hit before letting go of the choke and holding the smoke in for as long as possible before putting the pipe to Chester’s mouth and watching as he inhales and begins to blow smoke rings; as they rise from his lips, Jesse thinks that he has never looked more beautiful.
As they get about halfway through the bowl, Chester watches Jesse’s pretty eyes start to glaze over, and he tries to look away but he can’t, and he feels an ache is his chest, and for the first time, it's a good ache. He doesn't stop staring and he doesn't try to hide it, because he can't stop thinking of how good he’s got it, of how much he loves this dude, and how much he has fallen in love.
They have pointless conversations, but they both spend most of their time in their heads, thinking of each other but not really communicating, Jesse falls into giggle fits from time to time, as Chester tells dumb jokes that he wouldn't have laughed at a few months ago, but any joke is great, any joke is perfect, because dumb jokes are what makes Chester, Chester.
He begins to curl himself into Jesse’s arms and is overwhelmed with love for his friend, and he wonders if he's in love with him too, but if he's learned anything, it's that it doesn't matter, because even if he doesn't love him back, he knows that Jesse has always loved him. And Chester has always been good with words, has always known how to communicate his feelings, but for the first time he's at a loss. He doesn't want to get this thing wrong, he doesn't want to ruin the best thing he has.
They finish off the bowl, and Chester’s eyelids begin to get heavy. When Chester got particularly bad, Jesse invited him to curl up in his arms so he could rock him to sleep. When he finally doses off, Jesse whispers “I love you, dude…” into his ear, and he kisses the top of his head, and smiles because he means it, because he knows that he has never meant anything more in his whole life. And because this is what matters, this is what has always mattered. He has never felt more safe.
Chester feels Jesse’s strong arms around him, and he knows that he’ll never be alone, that he’ll always be protected, and for a brief moment, he feels guilty. He feels so, so guilty because he’s all sharp knees and breakable bones, and Jesse is taller, and prettier, and funnier and he knows that he’ll never be able to protect him in the same way. All he's got to give is love, and he doesn't know if that will be enough, he knows that Jesse deserves more. But he's selfish and he needs someone to hold him together, until someday he is capable of doing the same for him. He lets himself forget about all this, just for now, just to focus on the warmth of his body and inhales his smell as he begins to fall asleep.
When Jesse finally thinks Chester has fallen asleep, he does what he always does. His voice breaks as he whispers the usual “I’m right here, man.” into his ear and this time his smile is sad because he doesn't know if Chester loves him back, and he knows that he'd be no one without him.
His heart has never felt so full and he feels like crying because this is what matters, he is holding the most important person in the world right here in his arms. This time Chester hadn’t quite fallen asleep yet, and he hears Jesse’s soft whispers and decides to open his eyes. He grins and he knows he doesn’t have to say he loves him in return because Jesse knows, Jesse has always known. He props himself up on his elbows and kisses his lips softly, before laying his head back on his chest and falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. He braces himself for some wacky nightmares, but for the first time, they don’t come.